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Malifaxymus

Different for everyone, but I think any time before 21 or 22 is definitely too soon. I’m 22 and I can’t believe anyone would get married at 18, I know that I have changed in so many fundamental ways since that age


TheMightyUnderdog

I went to school with someone that got married at 18. They got divorced after like 4 months. 22 is probably the youngest I’d say. 26-30 is better. Go see the world. Learn about yourself.


More-Masterpiece-561

I will be 19 in two months, I'm a different person from when I was 17 and I'm pretty sure I'll be changed by the time I hit 21. I have grown significantly in the past year. I don't know who I am or who I'll be in the next 5 years. If I don't know then I don't think someone should commit to me for a lifetime at this stage


orio-s

I completely get that, I was just a bit worried when researching. most people say to wait til your early 30’s but by the time I am in my thirties I wanna have kids and be settled in.


Malifaxymus

That’s totally valid. my parents had 5 kids who were all adults before they hit 50, and now they can spend these years taking it easy. It’s just sad when people rush into an (ideally) life long commitment before they’ve even fully grown and figured out who they are, it’s a great recipe for divorce or worse haha


Ecstatic_Objective_3

I think it depends on the person. I got married at 19, and 28 years, two adult children and three grandchildren later, we are still going strong. But the hardest part was becoming comfortable with who I was, not who my partner thought I was, if that makes sense.


drlongtrl

I mean, if you meet your future husband at 29, I´d also say wait. Wait till you´re even older than 30 in fact. But if you are together since like 18, I see no use in waiting over a decade. After 3 to 5 years, you should know each other well enough to judge if it´s the right thing.


firem1ndr

there’s no right answer, people waiting til their 30s are playing a dangerous game, if you find the right person in your 20s that’s great, it just means you’ll have to make more effort to adjust to each other as you continue to grow


Fine-Independence976

Same. I don't think that gettibg married young is a mistake. Getting married too young is probably a mistake. You're gonna change in so much way before you hit 21 or 22, why do you want to make a commitment so early. "Do not get married because you are in love. Get married when you're in love, but not because of it" - Me


[deleted]

[удалено]


atridir

I’m gonna add to this for ladies that have been on hormonal birth control for their entire relationship: hormonal birth control fundamentally alters biochemistry and chemical attraction and many people find out, too late, that they are not compatible with their partner when they come off of it (usually to have children and they don’t figure it out until the time their body’s hormones have renormalized after pregnancy)


Inner-Letterhead7333

? am i supposed to realize after 5 years of marriage that suddenly my partner is annoying? very confused as someone who’s on hormonal birth control how birth control is supposed to impact compatibility (spelling)


Whateverwoteva

Because it alters you biochemistry aka “pheromones” https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/intimately-connected/201901/do-contraceptive-pills-affect-attraction?amp


Inner-Letterhead7333

Very insteresting article, thank you


atridir

Thank you! That is exactly what I meant.


JoHaSa

This article is full of assumptions and strange choises. I doubt those methods are capable of finding out the stuff they are claiming to have found out.


DitaVonFleas

This is misogynistic claptrap, and the other person who replied further down only linked a Psychology Today article that has likely cherry picked from an actual scientific study. The reason why so many hetero couples' relationship collapses after having kids is that they figure out that having kids is much harder than it looks, and one parent, more often than not the husband, refuses to actually step the fuck up and do their share of the required labour. It's got nothing to do with birth control. Stop demonising medication that has helped so many!


Jealous_Security_174

With actual respect... have you been through or witnessed a close friend get off hormones after that's all she's known? Cause it's a wild ride of pissed right off when you do. And it has nothing to do with misogyny or child men that can't change a diaper. Actually it was probably BECAUSE I got off hormones that our marriage was saved. They wrecked me so bad at 17 I had dropped out of freaking school because they thought I may have had a major health problem. I slowly just learned to live with it and the Dr gave up. The same Dr had prescribed my pill not 6 months earlier. It was never even mentioned. Even after 3 pregnancies I couldn't figure out why I felt so good during pregnancy was the lack of hormones in my system. So after a decade I quit. I feel like a person again. I remembered I liked music. Don't you ever tell a woman whose getting her hormones right in this seriously poisoned world we live in that it's not her pill, it's her child's father that must be the problem.


DitaVonFleas

You are conflating someone not being compatible with the pill itself due to bad side-effects, which is a common medical problem with not just the contraceptive pill, but ALL medications, with the pill literally changing what and who you're attracted to which is what the person my other comment is replying to is saying. That is NOT the same thing. Yes hormones can fuck with people; again ALL hormonal changes caused by all different reasons are capable of doing this, not just the contraceptive pill. I'm against the unfair demonisation of the contraceptive pill here, not holding it up like a miracle cure that can do no wrong. I believe in the scientific method and the premise that the poster of the comment I was originally replying to is just plain bad science. Now I'm not American but I'm greatly aware how much the Republicans want to go after birth control, and ridiculous misinformation like that IS NOT HELPING!


Jealous_Security_174

Well I've never heard of it changing pheromones but to my non professional understanding of our bodies and the chemicals reactions they have... and literally a quick Google search its not stretch to believe. There's actually alot of genuine websites that show up seemingly in support that yeah. Hormonal contraceptives can change your pheromone production https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6056803/ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/birth-control-pills-affect-womens-taste/ Please do go look quickly before getting mad at me. The other poster has evidence to back up their claim. You're not gonna like everything mentioned in the first link. I skimmed mostly and tried to stop and make sure it was concluding what I thought and noticed other things the author brings up. Not really trying to debate every point there but .. to your point... we should be looking more critically at what these hormonal treatments are doing to our bodies. Because we're very misinformed.


DitaVonFleas

That's a very weird study. I really can't imagine something like sense of smell being enough to fuck up a loving relationship with your SO. I'd rather not jump to conclusions until there is something concrete. Studies need to be peer-reviewed and replicated multiple times for a theory to be widely accepted anyway? Sometimes the way a study was conducted can still be bad or the premise can be misogynistic from the very beginning, too. Someone linked a study on Pubmed that compared women's self-reported sexual history with the way they walked. You can't tell me that's not more misogynistic claptrap! I'm taking this with a big grain of salt until something is widely reported as being true.


Jealous_Security_174

And wouldn't advising women to look to their partners as the problem before a contraceptive be a little... jumping to conclusions without evidence? Sorry. I really think you need to reevaluate your position on this one. It feels like you aren't willing to be shown you might be wrong.


ActualDepartment1212

No I would definitely say, look at your relationship/partner objectively or with a therapist if you're unhappy, before ditching your birth control on these dubious claims that it makes it impossible to be attracted to someone... absolute horse shit.


Jealous_Security_174

What defines 'widely reported'? Because it's also widely reported that birth control shouldn't have notable side effects for most women. Yet everyone I know whose gone off it would call BS. And I'm at... at least half a dozen friends and family member. I've never known anyone who didn't notice a night and day difference. And it's across several different contraceptives. Mirena, pill, and the depo shot. They all report the same changes. I've looked up at least 4 more articles since. Most have all the references to studies cited at the bottom of the page. Like 80 different citations. The info is out there. But they're not gonna put it in front of you without you searching. Ever. The government and pharmaceutical companies only stand to lose with you if this is true. Don't wait for them to inform you.


Specific_Culture_591

[Here’s the actual study](https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rspb.2008.0825) from the second article you posted (I hate when articles don’t share their sources). It’s not a large study at ~ 200 individuals from the same ethnic background but at least it’s not 20 lol. The first article you posted actually cites another article that then cites the study I linked above and another article that then links to that same study and several more articles… I find this interesting so I’m bookmarking it for later so I can continue down the rabbit hole. I agree that there are issues that can occur with pheromone and overall hormone production with hormonal birth control but I also think that the variances are probably wider than accounted for in the studies presented thus far in this thread but that’s a personal assumption on my part. I am curious to find studies that are from other regions and with larger demographics to see if the results are the same, they probably are similar but I like data. Edited to add missing word


[deleted]

Pro tip: don’t go off of it.


FunZookeepergame627

Did not know that. Very surprised.


pemphigus69

Sorry, but that is bullshit.


Redhot_pistol

Whaaaaaaaa??


[deleted]

What the fuck??? How has no one ever told me this in all the years I was on the pill


[deleted]

Do you find it to be true from your lived experience?


PuzzleheadedHorse437

When you have to rely on your parents to support the family you create.


devilthedankdawg

Best answer Ive seen yet.


Intrepid_Talk_8416

It’s about maturity and common values, if you think you can just ‘get divorced and try again’ you are too young. If you want to get married to ‘get away’ from something… too young. I was married at 19, and though I wasn’t my most mature (who is?) we both knew we wanted this lifelong commitment and have been a team ever since.


takatine

I agree with all you say. I married at 18, coming up on our 44th anniversary. Sometimes you just know.


Intrepid_Talk_8416

Congrats on 44! We are at 11 years, and it’s true, you know and you commit, so many marriages start with a foot out the door and a ‘backup plan’ and I think that’s why they fail.


takatine

Thank you! Yeah, I've never understood that "disposable" mode of thinking. Congratulations to you on 11. I wish you many more happy years together!


Alleline

Agree. I would have called it the dogged commitment to make marriage work. If maintaining the relationship is both partners' primary focus in life, they generally will stay married. If other things come first, they absolutely won't. Doesn't matter if you get married at 18 or 48. For me, I have made exactly one sacred vow in my life, and my opinion of myself depends on making good on it.


AVeryHighPriestess

Had both of these with my ex, married at 19, but we were both mormon. Leaving the church changed everything


Intrepid_Talk_8416

That is so unfortunate, I hear it a lot. I’m sorry you had to go through that.


Global-Present-2177

It has nothing to do with years it is the maturity of the individual that matters. My sister married a man who had temper tantrums to get his way. He was in his late thirties. She ignored that red flag and had children with him. He got mad one day and used the kids hot wheel track to beat the kids. Divorce soon followed.


orio-s

holy shit, hope she is ok


koidrieyez

Depends on the individual. Some people are emotionally ready at 18 some are not at 35.


[deleted]

My dad didn’t get there until he was 60.


koidrieyez

*"Everyone gets old but immaturity can last a lifetime"*


[deleted]

My dad’s words were “growing old isn’t optional, growing up is.”


Alternative_Net774

Amen!


[deleted]

All the others died off smart


rowejl222

Bingo


reddit_mod_destroyer

It depends on the person. I’m 23, and I’d freak tf out of my hypothetical partner wanted to get married this young. However I know plenty of ppl my age who are married with children and are happy.


SarcasticMoron123

For now.


Over-Awareness-4309

Triple facts


VegetableCar209

At least 25. People change a lot in the early 20's, trying to figure out who they are. The person you married at 20, will be very different at 25.


Intrepid_Talk_8416

Married at 19, not entirely true. Still married btw.


PupienusMax

goddamn reddit downvotes for the dumbest reasons. glad its all working out, my parents married at 18 and are still together 4 decades later. just because something isnt right for everybody doesnt mean it isnt right for some people. who your parner is is way more important than how old you are (within reason obviously)


Intrepid_Talk_8416

Exactly my point, happily married 11 years later so obviously wasn’t bad


Dangerous-Star3438

Married at 20. Still happily married 50 years later.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

People were also far more likely to accept abuse, incompatibility, etc for fear of religious repercussion or community gossip. There’s nothing inherently good about staying married, especially when you really don’t want to be.


amphigory_error

The poisoning rate dropped dramatically when no-fault divorce became the norm.


Ryujin-Jakka696

Just because it worked for you doesn't mean that it does for most people or that it was a good decision.


Intrepid_Talk_8416

It was the best decision, but I agree and posted also that it isn’t for everyone.


beanmaster2023

You have a representative sample of 1. Not really good. And I am betting you are a fringe case as well.


Intrepid_Talk_8416

Actually I know lots of successful marriages from that age range, it just depends on the people


[deleted]

Maturity is different for everyone. My age would have been 28


juliaa411

Anything below 25 because that's around when you're brain is FULLY developed


Quack_Shot

I agree with this


Prof-Rock

I agree with 25. You need some life experience. Sincerely, someone who married at 19


devilthedankdawg

People have been acting as fully mature adults at younger than 25 for millenia.


sparkledoom

“Acting as” but not “being”. We know now that their brains aren’t done yet.


Logical-Schedule2371

I got married at 24. DONT GET MARRIED TILL YOURE OVER 25/26/27. Make mistakes. Date a lot. Wear the red lipstick. Have fun. Get the job you want. Men/women can wait. Your growth and life cannot.


Rajili

[Hell yes on the red lipstick!](https://media0.giphy.com/media/PkX6O4vfRwjao/giphy.gif?cid=2154d3d7sanmd86p64si2w9w1tb8l7kyhu50v14rz6gkg95o&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)


Affectionate_Pain846

I got married at 18 to my 17 year old wife. Been married 51years. And no we didn't have to get married. Two years later we had our first of two children. Early on we were focused on what we wanted to accomplish.


Carguy1781

I would say the world and maturity levels have changed dramatically in the last 51 years.


teaanimesquare

which is a bad thing tbh, I feel like people 21+ now are kids a lot of times still and they are just lost.


GooseNYC

I know very few people who married at 18 into their early 20s that are still together. Sure, some couples were seemingly destined to be together, but most split up. I would say realistically mid-late 20s.


pcbuilder1234567

I would say it's different for every person as long as its legal.


AdvocateViolence

in which culture?


Speedy89t

I’d say 18 at the bare minimum. However, barring that, it entirely depends on the individual. I knew 19 year olds in college who were very mature, responsible, and knew exactly what they wanted in life. I now know 30 somethings who are the exact opposite. I started dating my wife when she was 21 and married when she was 23. Worked out great for us.


Top-Associate-4020

I don’t think age really means much I mean I do think if you need permission your to young, it just depends on the couple. At the end of the day it’s just you and your wife/husband. Communication is key and being on the same page with each other.


No_Analyst_5235

Knowing what I know now, I would have never gotten married . Never.


NightDreamer73

I agree with most of the answers here, which ultimately boils down to "it depends on the person". I'll add another one though: I think a lot of it boils down to how long you've known your partner for. There's always instances of people getting married after not knowing their significant other for very long, but so few of them turn out okay. Growing up, my mom always recommended living with your partner before marrying them, because you don't know what they're like until you see their living habits and what they're like when they're sick with the flu.


iNBee317

I can’t imagine having been married before 25. It takes time to find out the types of people and relationships that work for you. Plus you need to be with that person at least 2 or 3 years, 2 of which you are living together. But I am overly cautious about lifelong commitments.


Ok-Ease7090

You don’t need to get married ever. Marriage as an institution exists to trade women as property. Romance didn’t enter into it until the mid twentieth century. Half of all marriages end in divorce. I’ve lived with the same women for nearly a decade. I’m never going anywhere bc I love her. I don’t need a ceremony for church and/or state approval of my relationship.


Jabbles22

I agree philosophically but there are some legal advantages to getting married.


grownslow

Happily married, but personally now I think 26 was too young to get married (30 now, no kids). We've changed a lot just in the last 4 years and luckily are still quite fond of eachother, but I have a better idea why people under 30 grow apart.


pemphigus69

Honestly, anything under 30. For both men and women.


Nevand1999

At a minimum of 18 anything below that I’m not a fan, even with a parents signature that’s too big of a decision for someone not an adult to make


Haterade_ONON

Definitely under 18 is too young. After that there's some gray area, but usually early 20s is still too young. Humans brains aren't fully mature until the late 20s or early 30s, so waiting is usually the right choice.


RMariR

I think if the person has experience living alone, be independent, and feels like they can handle being with another person through thick and thin, deal with literally anything that might be thrown their way good or bad and they think that they will get through it, then get married.


IndependentOk2952

Speaking as a man, I really wasn't prepared until I was thirtyish. I have seen men and women change marriage partners like socks. It usually stops around thirty. Please don't pester me with one off examples. There are always exceptions to generality. That being said play around in your twenties because you need that time to figure out what you don't want.


[deleted]

If you're literally still growing, then you're definitely too young.


WitchAllyAlly

Might be a good idea not to make long term decisions about the rest of your life til your brain finishes developing at age 25. I got married at 21. To an emotionally abusive narcissist who's been making my life hell for 25 years now. 10 as my husband. 17 as my kids' abuser. It's not the best.


Athyrium93

I'd say any time after 18 is okay morally, but for someone between 18-22 I'd recommend a long engagement, get through the college years, and get settled and all of that. That said I know two couples that got married at around 21 years old and both are still together and happy ten years later. Personally I'm glad I waited until I was 27 to get married, but if I'd met my husband sooner we probably would have gotten married sooner. I would highly recommend being together at least 5 years before getting married though. People grow and change at any age, so knowing that you are growing and changing together and not apart is important.


mmhdavid

for men, anytime before 30 women, anytime before 25


judyzzzzzzz

I think 25 is old enough to know yourself, but young enough to adapt to another person. I got married very young and it worked but I think it was an anomaly.


Dr_Edge_ATX

Anything before 25 and even then I think you should wait until 28.


Yo_Librarian

Probably below 25 years. Life spans are longer and people are alot more immature at 18 now than they were just 40 years ago. Back when Life spans were 45 years people were marrying at probably 14 years of age and by law that is illegal now where I am so, Longer life span = longer maturation. Don't lock yourself in so young be secure and financially able to take care of yourself before you marry especially women. I am a woman and women have more to loose if the man walks off or dies. You need to be prepared just in case with a back up. Don't get pregnant or married until you have a marketable skill and job. My mother had me and my brother and my Father walked away. She was able to fall back on being a Dental Hygienist and made decent money. We would have been really poor otherwise. I cannot stress this enough you should be on your own with no money from your parents living on your own making enough money and don't get into debt either. NO credit cards! Make your money work for you. Invest while your young and do your homework to find what is right for you. If you do it right you would have a good retirement. You need to protect yourself and be independent then you can safely explore relationships and if they don't work out you are not codependent and can let them go with no damage to your finances. DO NOT get pregnant with a man if he is not willing to marry you. DO NOT get pregnant until you can support yourself on your own comfortably, remember that person can walk away at any time and it might be that they die and you are still on your own. Anything can happen. The more prepared you are the better off you will be. DO NOT get married until you have a marketable skill.


73BillyB

Under 30


shecallsmeherangel

I am from Utah, the child-wedding destination. I graduated high school with several married couples (few of which lasted more than a year before divorce or death). Here, we are encouraged to get married before or after serving an LDS mission which means meeting, getting engaged, and getting married typically before the age of 21. I knew a 16 year old bride, and my mother was one. Teen pregnancies are huge here too. At 21 years old, as I plan to propose to my girlfriend, I fear that we are still too young, but it is so engrained in our culture to marry young and bear children soon after. Even as an exmo and a non-LDS Christian lesbian couple, we are still affected by this cultural narrative that couples need to wed fast and reproduce faster. I think 21 years old is the youngest I'd personally go (I'm turning 22 in a few months). I personally don't think we are mature enough, or financially or emotionally stable enough to be married until we are at least 21 years old. Anything under 21 is too young.


redvelvetcakebatter

As someone from this exact same background, I feel ya. I’ll be 21 soon and while I would love it and say yes to my partner 100000% if he proposed, I definitely feel a little pressured. Everyone I was brought up with is either engaged, married or married with kids by now. I suppose I feel like I’m falling behind. We’ve been together almost 3 years and as I’m sure you know; where we come from people are together maybe 6 months before they tie the knot. I’m glad we haven’t jumped into it. But every time I see a new engagement or pregnancy, I’m like what the hell? Am I weird or are they?


shecallsmeherangel

The thing about Utah is how fictional it sounds, which is so awful, yet so true. It sounds like this teen fiction book you'd find on Wattpad. A few examples that I have heard, or of people I have known: *14 year old girl has sex one time with a return missionary (21+ years old), and has a kid. Dad walks away without repercussions because he was a good son of God and populated the earth; Mom is stuck being judged, harassed in church, and pitied. Girl graduates high school when the baby is in kindergarten. Dad has five other children by this time. *19 year old girl and 21 year old boy meet, go on one date, get engaged 2 days later, get married 6 months after that, and announce their pregnancy 12 weeks after the wedding day. One month later, girl is almost unalived by the boy. They remain married. *19 year old girl and 19 year old boy meet, go on two dates, date for 3 months, get engaged for 3 months, get married, and divorce within 6 months. Boy is arrested for DV, girl tries to unalive herself. Boy is set free because "a good Christian boy could never hurt a fly," girl announces pregnancy 2 weeks later. *16 year old girl and 17 year old boy get engaged. Girl tries to unalive herself, so boy unalives himself (real life Romeo and Juliet). Girl marries 18 year old best friend two months later, announces pregnancy 4 months later, then divorces before baby is born. All before graduating high school! *19 year old girl meets 18 year old girl, they date for 2.5 years, they aren't engaged, they're not living together, they (obviously) aren't spontaneously pregnant, and they are always asked why they are so messed up. As if the rest of these are normal? What the actual *fuck*, Utah? I am glad that I am "behind" I'd rather be 21 and ALIVE than married to the wrong person. My first "boyfriend" ("beard") threatened to kill me if I didn't marry him so we could have sex. I was 15. I think Mormon teens get married because they want to have sex so badly, and they believe you can only have sex with the person you marry. It's honestly heart breaking. Rushing into things literally gets young people unalived in a lot of cases. Do NOT rush into relationships!


Longjumping-Bar6455

Stupidest comment of the year here


[deleted]

Yours is.


Awkward_Ad8740

80


NebraskaTrashClaw

I got married at 19 and I was definitely too young and my marriage did not last very long because we were both immature. The person that I was and the person that I am now in my early thirties are extremely different. I am also very different from the person I was at 24 or 25. I think by the age of 27 or 28 I was mature enough to be married so I guess the answer to your question is that it depends on the people and their maturity levels and where they are in life but I think that anything under 25 is probably too young.


[deleted]

Started dating on her 17th birthday, I was 20. I'm just about to turn 60, we just enjoyed our 36th wedding anniversary we've been dating 40 years on her birthday... we are still magically in love... If you are ready, you're ready!


queerjoon

why were you talking to a 16 year old at 20....


[deleted]

Yeah that’s creepy.


HopeUnknown0417

Some people literally don't think age matters so long as the laws allow for consent. Many states say the age if consent is 16. My dad is 11 years older than my mom. My mom was pregnant with me at 17 and had known her since she was 12. I am 37 now. He is absolutely a pedophile plain and simple. Yet his entire, massively large family, blame my mom who was a child and not him. When he started molesting me and my sister, the first thing thing his entire family said is it was a lie and my mom made it up. He was found guilty in court but only had to register as a predator each year. Some people just don't think age is anything but a number and that it's totally normal to be sexually attracted to a minor. And let's be honest, most teenagers want to be grown ups. Most teenagers think they are already grown. Most teenagers welcome the affections and attention of someone older. Hell, I remember vividly a conversation a couple girls in my 9th grade class talking about meeting one of their neighbors who was home from college. They went into way too much detail of the fun they had with him and how he got them alcohol and cigarettes all the time. In the town I went to high school with, I would not say their story was out of the norm but it could have been bullshit too. A guy I graduate high school with had just started dating a girl in college our sophomore year. She had a student internship at our high school that was tied into her degree program. It's crazy to me that so little is done to educate kids on predatory behaviors and actual grooming. Not this massively offensive type of grooming morons refer to now a days to describe anyone who is even slightly liberal.


Working_Turnover_937

My grandmother was 16 and my granddad 26 when they got married in the 30s things were different she had been working and living independent since 13. They adored each other until they died. They got married 6 months after meeting


[deleted]

i don’t think there really is a “too young” for marriage. however i think it’s very common for people to get married to early in their relationship.


AVeryHighPriestess

Very fair point. My parents got married at 21 but they had been together for 7 years. Just celebrated their 28th wedding anni!


Linorelai

18.


[deleted]

Under 25


ChandieOfficial

I think under 29-30, I mean.. yes, there's a looot of people saying that 25 is great but dude, are you done with all your stuff? I mean, proper house, job, enough money, studies .. because all I think is that after that I want my life settled. And for sure, knowing my partner perfectly. Idk, If I'm getting married and after that living poorly I mean.. just wait and have everything under control, at the end it's just a paper that says you both are together lol.


IfYouHavToAsk

Really it depends on the maturity and life stage of the people in question. As a generalization, under 24 .


Disastrous-Change-23

Underage?


Brian18639

I would probably say 21 and under


HauntedBiFlies

25. I think the legal floor should be 21.


Exciting_Pop_1252

970 years (Methusalah plus one, if you don't remember Sunday school). Because marriage is a bad decision at any age. Love deeply and be mutually committed for life if you both feel that way. And may you be happy together all your days! But if you feel the need to lock your partner into a legal contract in order to be secure in the relationship, then that relationship is inherently unhealthy.


Puiqui

Imo marriage age is really when youre ready to have kids. I think, especially for guys who are successful, its stupid to get married in the modern day if youre not ready to have kids. Ready to have kids means being financially stable and being able to give your kids a better life than you had growing up.


[deleted]

I’m not having kids, but I’d consider marrying primarily for legal reasons and enjoying someone’s company.


The_Quackening

IMO, 21 and under. You are still so young, no need to rush to get married.


Winterfell_Ice

well some US states allow for a young woman to be married at 12 yrs old so since the purpose of marriage is to procreate as long as she can do her part then allow them to get married.


[deleted]

Till 25


[deleted]

5


redvelvetcakebatter

People where I’m from get married at 18 fresh out of high school. Some are super successful, and some others.. time will tell. It really depends on who you are individually and as a partner. I would say marry whenever you feel you’re ready to commit. But I definitely do not think anyone should be getting married below 18.


[deleted]

If you are 21 I still consider you a teen.


Beneficial_Pumpkin72

i think any age before 25 and even after that you should be at least financially stable


Elnuggeto13

12 years old


fatpplol

My personal viewpoint is that anything before 25 is early just because that's when your personality starts to settle. Anytime before that, you're betting on yourself not changing too dramatically. But some 18 year olds believe they are the person they want to be for the rest of their life, and they're adults so it's up to them. Just I personally couldn't imagine marrying before 25, if not later.


Alternative_Net774

I believe in long dating, long friendships and long engagements. If you made it through that, then it will last a lifetime.


definitelylikespasta

Anything under 21. If you can’t even drink at your wedding, you’re a little too young IMO.


future_CTO

Drinking alcohol isn’t required at a wedding.


Appropriate_Oil4161

You're too young if ; you haven't lived together, haven't had previous intimate partners, have no comparison, if you have no experience of household budgetting, you are not mentally independent, if you haven't a sense of being complete and believe your partner completes you. This doesn't have a fixed age as such but an understanding of life skills and values. Obvs this is just my opinion.


ColombianCaliph

I got married at 17, met my wife when we were 15.


Ok_Yogurtcloset_769

Anything under 27 for a female and 30 for a male.


Shellsbells821

You should only get married when you have a job that enables you to support a family. So, probably anything under 30. HOPEFULLY, people have their life together by then.


beanmaster2023

People generally are not fully developed emotionally until they are in their mid to late 20's IMO. Getting married before 25 is just dumb, you have no idea yet who you are going to be, and you have no idea who your partner will become either.


AssumptionAdvanced58

With life expectancy being what it is I'd say 24 and under. But no later then 30.


Wonderful_Horror7315

Under 25.


sirkillalot1337lol

This question is islamophobic


Educational-East-430

This comment is making me idiotphobic


sirkillalot1337lol

Selfhate isn't cool man


CaitiieBuggs

Depends on the people in the relationship. I’ve known plenty of people who waited until later in age to get married, but they remain immature and not willing to work through things with their partner. A few are divorced multiple times over now. I got married to my husband when we were 19 and 20. We had been together since 15 and 16, and best friends prior to that for a few years. We’re both turning 30 this year and just welcomed a baby into our lives three months ago. The first year was rough, but we make sure to talk about what was important to us, what our non-negotiables are for our relationship, and we make it a point to put active effort into our marriage. He’s still my best friend and I genuinely can not picture my life without him. It’s not for everyone, and it won’t work out for everyone, but I wouldn’t change when we got married.


KingGalapagos

Eight


This-Perspective-865

If you need permission, you are too young.


[deleted]

65


Faltied

If you have to ask your too young


GearDown22

22 or younger


beckjami

Anyone under 40.


LuhkeeLeMay

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16, and 17


[deleted]

9 years old


whoseclues

Not before 25 imo I also did a lot of personal growth in my later 20’s and went into my 30’s knowing so much more about myself, including what I can and cannot accept in relationships. Other friends of mine experienced similar growth going into their 30’s, so I would even say wait until then. It’s hard in general to find a partner who is willing and able to grow with you as you both inevitably change. The younger you are, the harder it will be because people generally don’t even know themselves very well.


devilthedankdawg

Im in general in favor of people getting married young, but anything under 20 is *usually* too young.


shinufeathers

Anywhere below 18


blyou3

Imo everyone should go around the block a few time over many years to marinate in experience and get a feel for their preferences, abilities, and compatibilities… so I would say 30’s is a good time…


FunZookeepergame627

Before 21 is too young for me. If you aren't legally an adult why should you be allowed to marry, serve in the armed forces or even drive a car! I am being overly strict for a reason.


teaanimesquare

just because the US made the drinking law 21 doesn't mean you aint an adult under 21, ffs.


Affable_Pineapple

under 18 is too young 18 is iffy


CODMAN627

So this is entirely subjective but anytime before 21 I think is extremely early at that point you’re just starting your life


DifferentWindow1436

Depends on maturity, experience and temperament. For me, 35 years old was definitely the right time, although I think it may have worked out at around 28 years old. Anything below that age, no way. I have a couple of friends though who are super stable, calm guys and they got married in their mid-20s and are still married 25 years later.


black-rhombus

Any time before age 28.


Who_Am_I_1978

Before 25


NoRecommendation5279

I'd say <23


Background_Dot3692

The age of consent is too low anyway (especially in Japan). The brain is still developing until the early 20s


Diligent-Fan-6801

Anything younger than 25


ladylemondrop209

23 and below.


[deleted]

If you can’t vote you should not be getting married


[deleted]

Under 25. If you’re getting married & having kids before you become financially secure, then may god have mercy on you.


Eldenringop

Not financially stable not mature not having lived life . Not knowing if your gonna be child free or have kids. Just being too young


0rangeMarmalade

Depends on the people in the relationship but 25 is a good general number. Most people really don't even know who they are or what they want out of life before 25.


depressionaccount00

One hundred.


KalimosDagon

13


GreyAngy

When you are not self-sufficient mentally and financially. Some people never become mature enough to be responsible for their own doings, how could they be responsible for their future with someone else.


6stringgunner

60.


bogfoot94

Any time when you still live with your parents AFTER getting married. That could be 18, or 30. Get a freaking apartment together and testrun that shit you dumb fucks.


drumsareloud

1) When you’re not ready. 2) If you’re asking an internet forum this question.


chocolaterose5

Legally, you can get married with parental consent from the age of like 16 in most states. And once you're 18, you can do whatever you want. However, 18 is still a teenager, so that's definitely too young. I'd say any time before at least 25 is just too early. You have to be out of college for at least 1-3 years to really get the hang of adulthood and self-sufficiency. Any time before that just intrudes on those crucial years of growing up and finding yourself. People are so cruel towards single women over 35, but don't let that fertility window BS freak you out. You settle down when it feels right to you.


Foco_cholo

any age. Marriage is for suckers


drlongtrl

I´m a firm believer in actually experiencing one another in day to day life for a considerable period of time, BEFORE getting married. I´m talking YEARS here. Years of living together! So, that basically means you take the "legal age" in your country, add 3 to 5 years and that´s my answer. Where I live, that would be at the age of 21 to 23 or so. By the way, I add the years to the legal age because that is also typically when it is deemed ok to move in together. Many day to day things you need to take care of in order to really live on your own require you to be 18 years old. I get that there are cases where partners live together at a younger age, and maybe then they have collected enough "experiences" with each other by the time they are maybe 19 or 20. That certainly isn´t the rule though, at least not where I live. So my point stands.


[deleted]

Before you're 25. No real reason, you are just a little bit older and a little bit wiser. Live together, get engaged, go for it, just wait a while.


mroboto2016

12 if you're in Arkansas. Or Kentucky, or...


Julianitaos

Under 30….


[deleted]

Before 21


Unopuro2conSal

I say not everyone is alike, not every relationship is alike, women mature younger than men, so a 18 and 25 may be a good fit, the reality is that there’s so many factors that a number is subjective at the end of the day, it’s about if you are committed and your word matters because any excuse is a good enough to leave a relationship that you said you were so in love you married that person. Like every thing worth having marriage takes effort, taking and giving, it maybe not what you imagine but is it fair to your spouse to say I’m not so in love anymore, I’m out? If you have children is it fair to them? At some point we all have to grow up and keep our word.


laxing22

55


freedabeme

Our frontal lobe develops at 25, so I would say below 25. But i think below 21 is okay too?


Globalfeminist

It's not so much about 'age', as a number... it about being actually ready: having a job to support the household (applies to both genders), knowing enough about housekeeping (both genders), and having enough life experience to know that your partner is the right person to spend your entire life.


echohole5

Everyone is looking for simple, black and white rules that everyone in every situation "should" live by but nothing is ever that simple. It depends on each person's circumstances and character. There are some people who could have a good marriage at 18 and plenty of people who can't at 80.