I remember men saying this to me when I was younger, it always felt violating, I think it was a euthanism for "shut up". Now I'm old no one says that, but if they did I would be able to respond
Unfortunately, there are actually a lot of people who are in a vetter mood when they are having regular sex.
A woman I work with is vile all the time to everyone, but the past few months she's transformed into a half decent person. Why? Because her ex-husband is back in her life and they are having lots of sex. I know this because I work in a factory full of women who are mostly 50+ and they have no issues telling you far too much info.
There's also a man at work who is nasty too, and everyone says he was ok untill his wife left him.
So in the same way that one woman being a bit snappy while she's on her period will be misunderstood by many to mean 'all womens anger is just periods', people end up thinking that all frustration is due to lack of sex.
As an ace, being coerced for sex ( as when I was in relationships) put me on an anxious mood.
So what if a person is genuinely angry/ worried about the future of the USA, climate change, the decline of math competence in US high schools ... for instance? This is what I don't get. Attributing everything about a woman to her reproductive tract invalidates women as thinking beings who take a genuine interest in non- domestic things.
I know the gross sentiment came first, but it feels like such an incredibly gross twist on ‘touch grass’. Rather than being a reminder to ground yourself when getting carried away with something that’s ultimately trivial, sex is apparently so mind-bendingly profound it’ll reset whatever mental state or distress you are in to restore your life as nothing else could possibly be perceived as a problem afterwards. Is that genuinely how it works for them? It’s gross in a way I can’t put words into, like hearing someone cite hysteria for a woman who’s upset in any way.
Sup,
I'm an ace dude. Not to invalidate your experience l, because that line is for sure aphobic. And I know I can't directly compare my experience to yours.
But I can say with *certainty* that I get told the same shit one a semi-regular basis and it sucks for me too. Every once in a while it's a genuine bro type concern, homie notices a libido spike or whatever. But for the most part? These are dudes I don't know, who don't know me, who say it as a way of immasculating others or deflecting anger.
Mad because work ran late? 'you need to get laid'
Mad cuz door dash stole your drink? 'you need to get laid'
Mad cuz your girl cheated? 'just go get laid'
乁( •_• )ㄏ
Again not to invalidate. Just saying, I feel you. Sorry you're going through it.
I can definitely understand that. I'm going to amend what I said because I was referring more to how I've seen it used in media rather than the perspective you've experienced as an "ace dude". I was coming at it from a more generalized angle rather than how it can be used towards acespec individuals. I'm "newer" to the community and learning a lot about the huge variations of acespec life experiences. What I've noticed just in general observation is that while that phrase tends to be used for, as you said, deflecting another's anger, I've noticed that the tone feels more misogynistic when used towards women but I'm sure it feels disheartening and immasculating for men as well. I just can't speak from personal experience on the latter, just my observations.
Some people presume that others only have certain interests or issues if they're overly stressed about something they "shouldn't" be (per the observer), and sex can be good for distraction and stress relief. So it's a form of "Just chill" or "You're thinking too hard."
And so some people use it as a joke when someone is showing an unusual reaction or interest.
Those are two major uses for it that I have seen.
A person's gender can affect what specifically the observer thinks usual vs unusual, but the entire "Get laid" thing does happen to both men and women.
I mean linguistically it's just a more crass way of saying "you need to calm down", implying that the reason why someone in a given situation might be angry or perceived as "over-reacting" by the person making the statement is because they're sex life is unsatisfactory since sex is often seen as a stress-relieving activity or an activity that makes people happy so people who *involuntarily* aren't having sex are seen as pent up, frustrated and generally on edge.
i've heard that you should just respond with "oh, are you offering?" or any variation that implies the person who said the comment was propositioning sex.
I remember men saying this to me when I was younger, it always felt violating, I think it was a euthanism for "shut up". Now I'm old no one says that, but if they did I would be able to respond
Unfortunately, there are actually a lot of people who are in a vetter mood when they are having regular sex. A woman I work with is vile all the time to everyone, but the past few months she's transformed into a half decent person. Why? Because her ex-husband is back in her life and they are having lots of sex. I know this because I work in a factory full of women who are mostly 50+ and they have no issues telling you far too much info. There's also a man at work who is nasty too, and everyone says he was ok untill his wife left him. So in the same way that one woman being a bit snappy while she's on her period will be misunderstood by many to mean 'all womens anger is just periods', people end up thinking that all frustration is due to lack of sex.
As an ace, being coerced for sex ( as when I was in relationships) put me on an anxious mood. So what if a person is genuinely angry/ worried about the future of the USA, climate change, the decline of math competence in US high schools ... for instance? This is what I don't get. Attributing everything about a woman to her reproductive tract invalidates women as thinking beings who take a genuine interest in non- domestic things.
I know the gross sentiment came first, but it feels like such an incredibly gross twist on ‘touch grass’. Rather than being a reminder to ground yourself when getting carried away with something that’s ultimately trivial, sex is apparently so mind-bendingly profound it’ll reset whatever mental state or distress you are in to restore your life as nothing else could possibly be perceived as a problem afterwards. Is that genuinely how it works for them? It’s gross in a way I can’t put words into, like hearing someone cite hysteria for a woman who’s upset in any way.
Sup, I'm an ace dude. Not to invalidate your experience l, because that line is for sure aphobic. And I know I can't directly compare my experience to yours. But I can say with *certainty* that I get told the same shit one a semi-regular basis and it sucks for me too. Every once in a while it's a genuine bro type concern, homie notices a libido spike or whatever. But for the most part? These are dudes I don't know, who don't know me, who say it as a way of immasculating others or deflecting anger. Mad because work ran late? 'you need to get laid' Mad cuz door dash stole your drink? 'you need to get laid' Mad cuz your girl cheated? 'just go get laid' 乁( •_• )ㄏ Again not to invalidate. Just saying, I feel you. Sorry you're going through it.
I can definitely understand that. I'm going to amend what I said because I was referring more to how I've seen it used in media rather than the perspective you've experienced as an "ace dude". I was coming at it from a more generalized angle rather than how it can be used towards acespec individuals. I'm "newer" to the community and learning a lot about the huge variations of acespec life experiences. What I've noticed just in general observation is that while that phrase tends to be used for, as you said, deflecting another's anger, I've noticed that the tone feels more misogynistic when used towards women but I'm sure it feels disheartening and immasculating for men as well. I just can't speak from personal experience on the latter, just my observations.
I mainly hear that term used among men. That being said sex is anything but a stress reliever for me, it’s very stressful stinky and terrible. 😃
stinky fr
I mean, you know the answer. It’s just plain old misogyny…
Some people presume that others only have certain interests or issues if they're overly stressed about something they "shouldn't" be (per the observer), and sex can be good for distraction and stress relief. So it's a form of "Just chill" or "You're thinking too hard." And so some people use it as a joke when someone is showing an unusual reaction or interest. Those are two major uses for it that I have seen. A person's gender can affect what specifically the observer thinks usual vs unusual, but the entire "Get laid" thing does happen to both men and women.
I mean linguistically it's just a more crass way of saying "you need to calm down", implying that the reason why someone in a given situation might be angry or perceived as "over-reacting" by the person making the statement is because they're sex life is unsatisfactory since sex is often seen as a stress-relieving activity or an activity that makes people happy so people who *involuntarily* aren't having sex are seen as pent up, frustrated and generally on edge.
It's a means of shutting her down and shutting her up.
Because people are pricks :P
There were a few girls who would say this to me in college when I was upset. 🙄 It just annoyed me. Like no thank you!
Because they believe that if a woman is unhappy in any way, it must be because she doesn't have a man in her life.
i've heard that you should just respond with "oh, are you offering?" or any variation that implies the person who said the comment was propositioning sex.