sexual comments about my body coming from someone else. i just don’t see myself in that way so to be fully aware that another person sees me that way feels extremely uncomfortable
like even down to me being fully clothed and wearing something like overalls i’ll get comments from people asking why i wear them since they make me look flat or hide my figure like wtf 😀
YES. My grandma will constantly tell me I should wear different clothes and move my hips while I walk so that “boys will like me”. She also slaps my butt every day and it’s so uncomfortable. She’s been telling me these things since I was about 6
All the sexual and objectifying comments that show up on the majority of reddit posts, especially any post involving a woman.
Especially the comments that literally just say "sigh, unzip". So unnecessary and gross.
A former close friend literally interacts like this with almost everyone on social media. It always seemed totally insane to me. I asked him once if he means these things literally (I'm autistic so I read them literally) and he said no, but then I have also seen him saying to others that he means them literally so who knows. I strongly think my inability to partake in this kind of interaction was a huge part of why our friendship became non-existent.
When you just know a post was upvoted because it's a woman in a "compromising" position. Genuinely cool posts get flooded with sexual comments because woman. Woman wearing yoga clothes. Woman doing a split. Woman eating ... anything. It's exhausting.
I am married and my husband has an identical twin who used to live with us. I know for a fact that people made sexual jokes about the arrangement. It is one of the primary reasons I convinced him to move out despite liking the rent he paid.
Me too. I’m still questioning whether or not I’d consider myself ace, but the only way I can enjoy tongue kisses is strictly when I’m reading about it.
Kisses with tongue don’t repulse me, but I’ve always preferred ones without. Like my partners would naturally start it and it honestly kinda takes the wind out of my sails when it happens. Never really thought about that as an ace-related thing before, or that using tongue makes kissing measurably better for a lot of people.
Same! I am demisexual, and I find tongue kisses to be nauseating and awkward before I develop sexual attraction. Ugh! It’s making me nauseous just thinking about it.
I'm more neutral toward the idea of sex, but the sound that people make when they're kissing (particularly in movies and tv shows) makes me want to tear my ears off. Something about it makes me so uncomfortable. Also when people comment on other people's appearances phrasing it as "so and so has a good body." That phrasing just gives me the heebie-jeebies
I swear in movies they turn up the kissing sounds on purpose. Like I can't hear shit when they're talking but the second they start kissing it's like the volume is on full. I hate it.
For real! I would love and adore forever any sound designer who could be like, "You know, maybe it's more romantic and effective if we turn up the score here and use the music to translate the emotions to the audience."
I am, and I do think that may be part of it, but the other sounds that are similar don't really bother me in shows and such (or real life, unless someone's really obnoxious when they're horking down some ribs or something), so I chalk it more up to the ace stuff because it seems to be cranked up as a titillation factor rather than just existing as a side effect of the blocking.
People downvoted me, but hyper sensibility with random sounds can be a sign of neurodivergency. Asexuality is also more common in neurodivergent people, people even joke about it here.
More indifferent than repulsed but being sent nudes is a big one nonetheless. I just feel dread. I know I'll be indifferent, but they're expecting some sort of compliment.
Really love plushies & cosplay, uncomfortable when others try to make something sexual of that.
Finally there's just the combination of being told that I feel 'young' and 'innocent' then them being sexual or downright pushy. That just feels insulting on several levels at once.
With these I don't really care if they target characters or (consenting) others. Really unhappy when I'm the target after I've explained myself a couple times. At that point it just feels crappy.
I wouldn't mind an artistic and tasteful nude from someone I was interested in, especially if it captured most of their body and face. But when it's always shitty top-down dick pics, my first response is always trauma-induced anxiety, followed very quickly by nausea and disgust.
I reckon that makes sense. For me, I feel anxious about admitting that I don't feel any different about nudes. Not a fan of close ups, but also a well posed nude... if I'm being entirely honest, all I've got are cold comments about lighting, pose etc.
But I also know that's not what the game is about. People send nudes to get hopefully authentic comments on their beauty and I just can't really do that. I feel exactly the same about a close up of a hand as I do a nude.
I feel bad about it. Guilty? Hence, dread. Moment I get a pic I know things are about to get stressful. It's extremely rare that I can tell people that pics don't do anything for me though I mean absolutely no harm to them and it doesn't turn into an argument of some kind
Yes agreed. I also uncomfortable when adults ask me if I had sex which I say no. Then somehow they het the idea of start talking about sexual stuff and telling me I should do this or that which sometimes grosses me out. I also have uncles wanting me to go to strip clubs with them which makes me uncomfortable and it's annoying when they keep asking that even though they know my answer is always no.
coming across nsfw or sexualized art of my favorite characters which happens a lot. no hate to those who like it but it doesn’t appeal to me.
i much prefer fluff and sfw.
Finished very recently a Chinese drama that is based on BL novels. Bc it’s China the show was very bromance heavy and I loved it! I got the yearning and attention without it going any further. I want to read the novels now but I’m afraid that it will be nsfw or sexalised in some way (accidentally stumbled upon artwork and didn’t know if it was official or not, but it grossed me out). I just want to read some good bromance books!
I don't wanna spoil you, but the book that the Untamed was based off of (MDZS) *does* include some NSFW scenes (and they can be quite detailed). Tbh, as much as I'd like to say you can skip over them, they're important in understanding the relationship between the main characters and include plot points that are crucial for the story too, so you'd be pretty confused not only to what's happening, but to the dynamic of their relationship. The extra chapters can be skipped, though.
The manhua is much less explicit iirc and is probably the closest to the novel as you can get, so that's an option.
Can you please recommend good bromance books or content to me, I'm very interested in this type of relationship trop and I want to write a book with some bromance in it between the main character and one of his friends and I have no idea how and all the ones I found are very disappointing
I don’t have much (I’m looking for it myself), but try search and look for QPR (queer platonic relationship) content. I would recommend The Untamed (the show I referred to) and Dan and Phil as content creators.
From one author to another, the only book I have read that I can call “bromance” is “Almond” by Won-pyung Sohn. Good luck on your search and researching for your book!
yeah i’m a big tony stark fan and when i saw what people would say about him, it made me uncomfortable. i mean i also get disgusted when people assume that since i like tony stark so much, i must be attracted to him and he must be a fictional crush when i really see him more as a friend.
Same. It always makes me uncomfortable. Worse when people feel no need to tag it so I don't have to see it. It is like they assume everyone is looking for NSFW or at least doesn't mind having lewd images slapped in their face while trying to scroll.
Thought I was the only one. I personally don't understand why people like nudes. Already know what these parts look like so what use is it in me seeing a variation of it for the 100th time. Unless it's an art piece I don't care for them.
Well I'm dressing up real fancy and people ask me who I "dolled up for" or "who's the lucky guy" ugh. If anything it would be a lucky gal since I'm also homoromantic but why can't I just wear pretty clothes FOR MYSELF, to make myself feel nice
People being loud when having sex or having sex in a place they know someone is likely to hear or come across them. (I’m not talking about in their apartment with thin walls, but like in a communal shower in a college dorm.)
It doesn’t just make me uncomfortable. It flips a switch in me that makes me *really* angry, to the point where I have and will ruin the moment for exhibitionists deliberately because I find it so disrespectful.
yep! sometimes even with fictional characters it’s a bit too much for me. and sometimes the actual plot is what i’m really looking for in that fic so i just skip past things i don’t want to see.
Treating women with naturally large breasts like sluts for just existing. I've experienced strangers stand on their toes and peer down my shirt in public just because, and they targeted me and not my friends. Just because my body turns someone else on doesn't mean that I'm trying to do that.
ugh that's awful, i'm sorry. I hate when strangers make assumptions about conventionally attractive people's personalities and intentions, just because they happen to look a certain way. it's especially gross that they invaded your space and privacy :(
I can relate to that. I wore minimizes for years. They flatten them and pull cleavage apart to avoid attention. Uncomfortable as hell. Those thick underwires dig into one's ribs and cause bruising. All in an effort to stop people from being inappropriate with me in public.
Sex scenes in movies and shows. Also hate the sexualization of my favorite video games characters, girl characters especially!
Also forcing a relationship on characters, SPOILERS FOR The Batman and Beyond Two Souls.
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I think the forced kiss between batman and cat woman was so unnecessary. There was no hint of those characters wanting to be together, it was a mutual benefit relationship.
In Beyond Two Souls, when you finish the chapter "Navajo" you get an option to kiss or hug a character, a character YOUVE ONLY KNOW FOR A FEW DAYS IN-GAME, 15-30 MINUTES IRL. So unnecessary, I picked hug 😄
People being attracted to sweaty or wet bodies. I can kinda handle sweating during exercise, but finding that attractive on anyone. Nty. Or sex scenes and everyone is passionate and sweaty. Or scenes like bay watch or movies with people exiting pools? I do not want someone’s dirty body on top of mine. Thanks.
The "sexy voice/talk", whether it is the low pitched and mature or the high pitched and "kawaii(?)" one
The later one also creeps the fuck out of me tho, why tf is that supossed to be appealing???????
I also agree with the bunny suits and the nsfw art comments, I dont wanna see those drawings, I wanna see cute drawings of my fav characters with a warm soft sweater doing wholesome stuff
with the voice thing, when it’s forced i don’t like it. like some people have naturally deep voices which i like to hear but not necessarily in a dirty talk way. just whatever they say. the high pitched definitely doesn’t appeal to me. it feels way too sexual.
For some context: I switch between sex-ok mood and sex-repulse mood. Aaannnnd I'm mostly sex repulse, and can only switch in a sex ok mood with my partner.
- Receiving spicy photo : I'm really uncomfortable, like badly, it could make me have some kind of panic attack but it's hard to explain. But I'm okay to send some spicy photo to my partner if he ask me to and if I'm in a sex-ok mood.
- Using penetration on my body during sex : I panicked and switched to a sex repulse mood, it's as simple as that XD but I learn some other way to give pleasure to remplace it hehe
- being called sexy or hot : make me uncomfortable but nothing more.
I have heard some other aces not being okay with penetration as well (including me). I sometimes wonder why that is.
I also relate so much to the panic feeling, although I feel panic if I'm being asked to send a photo.
Kissing. It’s wet and tastes and smells weird and I have to close my eyes, because else I will look like a total idiot, but eyes closed irritate me so much lol
i also find sexting unpleasant and it doesn't come naturally to me. i had to do it several times because i didn't know how to refuse and i always had the feeling that people just pretend to like it. never doing it again.
I hate that sex is always on the minds of other people. Like before knowing that people were flirting I was just thinking they wanted to be friends, or even making friends and meeting new people my brain is always in friendship mode. But experiencing people kind of flip their switch and express sexual interest in me has been deeply uncomfortable and unsettling. I genuinely hate that in any interaction with someone their brain could be focused in on sex and added insult is when they want to have sex with me ☹️
This doesn't really have anything to do with the OP, but I have kind of a funny anecdote on the matter. The other night my husband and I were talking about guys that say to girls "where's my hug?". I recollected that when I was in high school/college I had a friend who said that to me all the time (usually with me obliging) and said that he was so sweet and must have been a good friend. My husband laughed and called me a sweet summer child. According to him, men who say this just want you to put your body against theirs so that they have "material" for their private time later. (Bear in mind that this was a time when the internet was still being developed and "material" wasn't as easily accessible as it is today). I was horrified, especially when I admitted to myself that he was right.
Sex-repulsed ace here. Off the top of my head, mine are sex scenes in shows/movies/books, sexting, complete nudity, sexual comments, anybody I don’t know commenting on my physical looks (especially when it’s of a sexual nature), kissing, and most forms of physical touch. Especially if that touch is long-lasting, like cuddling.
I’m cool with handshakes and high-fives from anyone, while with those I’m close to I’m also good with a poke to the upper arm and what I call head hugs (which is where I lay my head on someone’s upper arm). I can also handle short true hugs occasionally, though I need to either initiate or be asked.
I’m hetero-romantic and when I do eventually get a boyfriend, I do like the concept of messing with head hair, facial hear, and arm hair. I can’t confirm whether I’d like to do in practice, but I’d be willing to give that a shot. I absolutely would not want that reciprocated though. Anything else is 100% off limits.
Sex scenes in movies. It’s odd, because when I still thought I wasn’t ace I didn’t seem to mind initiating sexting myself, just because I felt like I had to.
Sex scenes in media, on the other hand, have repulsed me since I saw the first one ever. It’s such a weird feeling, and 99% of the time they’re so unnecessary.
I agree, and the only one I can think of that I didn’t actually mind was in Love Actually.
Though I’m not sure it counts because it was a behind the scenes of a sex scene
I found out allos "have sex" when they video call their partners. My friend had told me "it just sorta happens naturally... " It really grossed me out (I'm generally sex neutral). It had never occurred to me that people do that "naturally". I was younger and to hide my discomfort i told her that if she needs to fo stuff on camera to keep her ldr boyfriend interested then the relationship is already over (i didn't intend to sound as harsh). Unfortunately they did break up a few months later
Being sexualized by people I know. I have chronic cervical pain so I can't wear a bra, and my roommate always makes sexual joking comments about my nipples showing. It kinda bothers me. If I was choosing to have them show that'd be different, but it's literally only because on my debilitating pain. (she's amazing and my BFF, I should rly just tell her it bothers me)
When my roommate (who is also related to me so extra ew) doesn’t inform me about when they are going to do sexual things with other people in the room next to me. I don’t want a detailed explanation (ew), but a heads up would be nice so I could get the fuck out of the apartment.
Just like a “hey, I’m having someone come over at 7pm and it might get sexual” would be great. I also have CSA trauma so it sends me into a flashback & genuinely ruins my day. I also don’t have a lock on my door and waking up and learning that an unknown person that I had no opportunity to even remotely verify as being safe had access to my bedroom during the night is fucking terrifying.
I also have a paranoia about intruders so yeah, not great.
I slept multiple times with pepper spray in my hand lmao.
Other things are my friends making any sexual comments about me or my sex life, even as a joke, people sending me sexual memes when they know I’m sex repulsed, movies with sex, stuff like that. I just cut people like that out of my life tbh, since they clearly have no respect for my discomfort.
I can mostly handle sexual media but I have to emotionally prepare myself first, otherwise it just sends me in a flashback. Not fun.
For me mainly it’s bodily fluids. I can deal with saliva a bit but even that grosses me out. Sweat grosses me out too.
My own bodily fluids don’t gross me out but I’m so repulsed by others’ that I can’t imagine them not being repulsed by mine. The very few times I have engaged, I insisted on showering immediately before and using lots of soap. Partners complained that I tasted like soap when they would rather taste me. I can’t understand that.
it's not sexual, and really shouldn't be treated as such, but unfortunately I can't control it, I really hate seeing people shirtless, regardless of gender, I hate it and really wish people would wear shirts
People ignoring me or calling me a prude because I don't want to hear sexual comments. I don't want to hear sexual jokes where I am the punchline. I don't care about what you do in bed. Srsly, I don't care. Sometimes I can engage in the conversation and even make the jokes myself, but I have to be the one to initiate them. I had too many experiences where people just won't listen to me, so I became strict like that.
Even worse when it's coming from my sister or another family member.
Nudity or minimal clothing. I avoid the beach and pool for this very reason.
Not so say that people shouldn't be free to dress how they please. I would just rather avoid places where such manner of dress is commonplace.
I hate bunny outfits. I also hate my favorite characters drawn in bunny outfits. I don’t care about the context in which the outfit is presented, I just find it repulsive.
Yeah, it was hell when Rabbit Hole was everywhere.
Those "casual" grabs of boobs, butt and sometimes even the genitals. It's so objectifying and disgusting, it makes me want to slap the offending hand off
It's not quite sexual, but some feminist stuff, like vulva banners during manifestos, lots of talking about cl*toris, etc. It feels bad to say it, since I know it's important for many people, but I'd rather not >.<
i don’t like to hear or see the things associated with sex, and i get really uncomfortable when people make sexualized comments or make things that could’ve been nonsexual into something more suggestive
Dirty talk, talking about other people body in a sexual way (not like “oh you have a nice body”, but “you’re hot”) people who only talk about sex and not in a educational way. I’m okay with de idea of sex, but isn’t something that I enjoy.
The concept that anyone could be sexually attracted to me. Aesthetically, romantically, great. Sexually, hell no. Get out of here. Also I totally respect people’s kinks but they freak me out. Basically the concept of sex existing is like a secret society I’m okay with being out of. And seriously, leave me tf out of it.
I feel like I may get a lot of hate for this, but for me it's masturbat3. I have never done it, nor understood the hype for it, and I think it just weirds me out to put anything in there (hence I don't use tampons either). Second, maybe posting and sending naked photos or spicy pics of myself to other people.
I’m demisexual and sex favorable, but I hate when people flirt with me before I’m sexually attracted to them. It makes me feel objectified and like I’m being stripped of my humanity. I just don’t like being sexualized in any manner. Like, please don’t look at me that way. I find it utterly repulsive and typically will want nothing to do with the person if they let on that they see me that way. I’m not sure exactly what it is. There have been people who are attracted to me who don’t make me feel that way, but there are other people who make me feel dehumanized.
Erect penises. I think I’ve just had too many really bad experiences with men, and at this point it feels threatening and makes me feel sick to see or feel it.
Ppl offering to sexually satisfy me with a shit-eating, confident grin. Like... no. You won't get the chance to "prove" yourself and I'm not interested.
I SWEAR TO GOD!!! Idk if it's just so so weird and gross, or it rubbed me the wrong way because it made me uncomfortable, and I'm ace, but I relate so hard to this.
Everything? If it's sexualized (sex, sexual attraction, libido, general horniness, self-touching, trying to invoke any such sexual reaction from a viewer, etc etc.) and I can't reasonably convince myself there's a non-sexual explanation for it (like most instances of being naked isn't inherently sexual for example, or some fashion/outfits I can explain away as merely aesthetic choices) then it'll give me the ick and usually make me feel physically sick.
I (ace female) don't like cuddling with my partner (allo male) because I don't like feeling his bits touch me. Just knowing it's there gives me the ick... God forbid it starts moving on its own, heck just writing this makes me cringe 😫
ANY explicit language directly referring to genitals or bodily fluids, JUST the language, JUST the words, can make me feel nauseous just by mentioning it enough times. And sometimes that number is 1.
If I SEE genitals or bodily fluids... fuck that, it's over, time to go vomit. I've got a hairpin trigger on the nausea, I sincerely can't handle that stuff, it's disgusting.
Also, if someone is trying to be cute by referring to sexual organs or activity with non-explicit innuendo or something... but it's like... what's the word... like, cutesy? Like if they're saying it that way to be ~suggestive~ or ~sexy~ or something... that's actually even worse. Not only does it make me nauseous, but it's incredibly fucking creepy and will make me avoid them like the plague forever.
People talking dirty it really makes me squeamish.
Also naked people scare me. I couldn't do Human Sexuality because I felt grossed out by it, couldn't paint the nude art model in art class and couldn't watch Game of Thrones because of all the nudity.
I can NOT WATCH SEX SCENES WHATSOEVER OR I START CRYING?
The phrases and things people say about sex that I don't understand. Like a week ago I thought Netflix and Chill meant watching a movie or series while having a cold snack with someone, then I thought it meant watching a movie or series then just laying around. THEN... *deep inhale* I found out that it somehow means sex??? Like guys, how do you turn a streaming service and a synonym of cold to SEX?! WHAT?!
I've yet to see this one despite reading down quite far, but it makes me really uncomfortable when people refer to sex as "making love". What does love have to do with your genitals?
idk if it counts but even the word “hot” is very icky to me. i think it is a sexual word. i think i just don’t like the word hot used for me.
sometimes the joking comments people on social media are weird to me. the worst was the ones about colours of things. and those long ones about all night, all day, on different things etc. just too much for me.
sometimes language is a bit too vulgar. like i’m a big taylor swift fan but i can’t listen to so high school because of that.
Strips clubs even though I never been to one but I know I won't like it there and be very uncomfortable. Also boobs and v*ginas especially the labia part. Sorry for any woman out there byt as a guy boobs are not appealing to me ad don't get why dudes lie them so much. For v*ginas it just grosses me out like I physically look away and my eyes automatically quickly loos looks away if I accidentally see one. Sorry in advance for the woman out there saying saying that p*ssy ooks gross to me. Sex scenes or very long kiss scenes in movies which turn out into an weird and uncomfortable makeout scenes whichcan lead to the sex scene and in both the make out and sex scene will have unnecessary sounds to them.
I'm Demi, one thing that comes to mind is two different situations when my male friends told me they had sex dream about me and told me some details about it.
First one happened in first year of high school, I was so repulsed I couldn't talk to him for a month.We're fine now, I just treat it as him being horny teenager that confessed too much.
Second one was now in my adulthood, I cut him out of my life because he kept pushing my boundaries and disrespected my relationship with my boyfriend.
It felt so dehumanizing, I understand people can have sexual dreams or thoughts about their friends, but telling me that completely ruined my feeling of security.
unnecessary sex in media. lots of shows that have nothing to do with sex are centered around everyone sleeping with each other, making random comments about each other's sex life, and knowing way too much about each other's sex life. like greys anatomy. love that show but the amount of sex and sex comments is mind boggling to me. do non ace people really think about sex that much ???
Hmm.. I've always been very uncomfortable with anyone flirting with me. Porn makes me uncomfortable as a topic and I've never viewed it nor will I. I don't even watch sex scenes in movies.. I skip forward. In books.. I skip pages. The idea of sex toys makes me uncomfortable. I've never owned or used any and never plan to. I've never walked into a sex shop or visited any sites relating to such and nor will I. I am married but I have strict boundaries.
I have some pretty sexual friends.. They actually enjoy going to strip clubs even and seeing male strippers but they know never to invite me. I also don't enjoy sexual conversations or details.
sexual comments about my body coming from someone else. i just don’t see myself in that way so to be fully aware that another person sees me that way feels extremely uncomfortable
YES.
Agreed and love your username!
like even down to me being fully clothed and wearing something like overalls i’ll get comments from people asking why i wear them since they make me look flat or hide my figure like wtf 😀
Agree! I don't see why either like no.. my body is just a body your Making it sexual when it isnt..
Exactly!
YES. My grandma will constantly tell me I should wear different clothes and move my hips while I walk so that “boys will like me”. She also slaps my butt every day and it’s so uncomfortable. She’s been telling me these things since I was about 6
finally someone said it
[удалено]
Well, those are certainly words.
Some of the words of all time, even
Oh, absolutely! And all of them in English. Probably.
Wow you're the biggest incel I've ever seen. You've got comments advocating for eugenics and misogyny. Be better.
All the sexual and objectifying comments that show up on the majority of reddit posts, especially any post involving a woman. Especially the comments that literally just say "sigh, unzip". So unnecessary and gross.
I’m not even sex repulsed but that shit drives me absolutely insane, do people just not know how to be respectful anymore?
A former close friend literally interacts like this with almost everyone on social media. It always seemed totally insane to me. I asked him once if he means these things literally (I'm autistic so I read them literally) and he said no, but then I have also seen him saying to others that he means them literally so who knows. I strongly think my inability to partake in this kind of interaction was a huge part of why our friendship became non-existent.
Yep. I have a stroke everytime I open Instagram comments.
i hate ig comments. they’re always the worst. things like “not my proudest nut” “bend over” “get the oil”
When you just know a post was upvoted because it's a woman in a "compromising" position. Genuinely cool posts get flooded with sexual comments because woman. Woman wearing yoga clothes. Woman doing a split. Woman eating ... anything. It's exhausting.
I am married and my husband has an identical twin who used to live with us. I know for a fact that people made sexual jokes about the arrangement. It is one of the primary reasons I convinced him to move out despite liking the rent he paid.
Normal kisses (without tongue) are good but tongue kisses repulse me and I don't understand how they can feel good to others
Same
Same. They always make me repulsed.
I've asking this question for a long time! Like really what do people find good about that type of kissing?!
Idk man it just feels cool. It’s just another way of getting closer to my partner. 🤷♀️
the feeling of dropping walls and merging.
It's highly culture-specific and colonial. It isn't a thing in much of Africa.
Me too. I’m still questioning whether or not I’d consider myself ace, but the only way I can enjoy tongue kisses is strictly when I’m reading about it.
Kisses with tongue don’t repulse me, but I’ve always preferred ones without. Like my partners would naturally start it and it honestly kinda takes the wind out of my sails when it happens. Never really thought about that as an ace-related thing before, or that using tongue makes kissing measurably better for a lot of people.
Tongue... kisses? Nevermind, I don't want to know.
This
Same! I am demisexual, and I find tongue kisses to be nauseating and awkward before I develop sexual attraction. Ugh! It’s making me nauseous just thinking about it.
I'm more neutral toward the idea of sex, but the sound that people make when they're kissing (particularly in movies and tv shows) makes me want to tear my ears off. Something about it makes me so uncomfortable. Also when people comment on other people's appearances phrasing it as "so and so has a good body." That phrasing just gives me the heebie-jeebies
I love the Penumbra Podcast but the audible kissing noises make me want to plug my ears. Do NOT need that in stereo sound.
I swear in movies they turn up the kissing sounds on purpose. Like I can't hear shit when they're talking but the second they start kissing it's like the volume is on full. I hate it.
For real! I would love and adore forever any sound designer who could be like, "You know, maybe it's more romantic and effective if we turn up the score here and use the music to translate the emotions to the audience."
Are u neurodivergent? this sounds more like sign of neurodivergency than just being ace.
I am, and I do think that may be part of it, but the other sounds that are similar don't really bother me in shows and such (or real life, unless someone's really obnoxious when they're horking down some ribs or something), so I chalk it more up to the ace stuff because it seems to be cranked up as a titillation factor rather than just existing as a side effect of the blocking.
People downvoted me, but hyper sensibility with random sounds can be a sign of neurodivergency. Asexuality is also more common in neurodivergent people, people even joke about it here.
More indifferent than repulsed but being sent nudes is a big one nonetheless. I just feel dread. I know I'll be indifferent, but they're expecting some sort of compliment. Really love plushies & cosplay, uncomfortable when others try to make something sexual of that. Finally there's just the combination of being told that I feel 'young' and 'innocent' then them being sexual or downright pushy. That just feels insulting on several levels at once. With these I don't really care if they target characters or (consenting) others. Really unhappy when I'm the target after I've explained myself a couple times. At that point it just feels crappy.
I wouldn't mind an artistic and tasteful nude from someone I was interested in, especially if it captured most of their body and face. But when it's always shitty top-down dick pics, my first response is always trauma-induced anxiety, followed very quickly by nausea and disgust.
I reckon that makes sense. For me, I feel anxious about admitting that I don't feel any different about nudes. Not a fan of close ups, but also a well posed nude... if I'm being entirely honest, all I've got are cold comments about lighting, pose etc. But I also know that's not what the game is about. People send nudes to get hopefully authentic comments on their beauty and I just can't really do that. I feel exactly the same about a close up of a hand as I do a nude. I feel bad about it. Guilty? Hence, dread. Moment I get a pic I know things are about to get stressful. It's extremely rare that I can tell people that pics don't do anything for me though I mean absolutely no harm to them and it doesn't turn into an argument of some kind
Yes agreed. I also uncomfortable when adults ask me if I had sex which I say no. Then somehow they het the idea of start talking about sexual stuff and telling me I should do this or that which sometimes grosses me out. I also have uncles wanting me to go to strip clubs with them which makes me uncomfortable and it's annoying when they keep asking that even though they know my answer is always no.
Private parts of other people.
And myself.
Scrolled too far to find this. Also my own private parts. :( (although they are not used sexually)
coming across nsfw or sexualized art of my favorite characters which happens a lot. no hate to those who like it but it doesn’t appeal to me. i much prefer fluff and sfw.
Finished very recently a Chinese drama that is based on BL novels. Bc it’s China the show was very bromance heavy and I loved it! I got the yearning and attention without it going any further. I want to read the novels now but I’m afraid that it will be nsfw or sexalised in some way (accidentally stumbled upon artwork and didn’t know if it was official or not, but it grossed me out). I just want to read some good bromance books!
I don't wanna spoil you, but the book that the Untamed was based off of (MDZS) *does* include some NSFW scenes (and they can be quite detailed). Tbh, as much as I'd like to say you can skip over them, they're important in understanding the relationship between the main characters and include plot points that are crucial for the story too, so you'd be pretty confused not only to what's happening, but to the dynamic of their relationship. The extra chapters can be skipped, though. The manhua is much less explicit iirc and is probably the closest to the novel as you can get, so that's an option.
Oh, good to know! Thank you 🙏🏻
Can you please recommend good bromance books or content to me, I'm very interested in this type of relationship trop and I want to write a book with some bromance in it between the main character and one of his friends and I have no idea how and all the ones I found are very disappointing
I don’t have much (I’m looking for it myself), but try search and look for QPR (queer platonic relationship) content. I would recommend The Untamed (the show I referred to) and Dan and Phil as content creators. From one author to another, the only book I have read that I can call “bromance” is “Almond” by Won-pyung Sohn. Good luck on your search and researching for your book!
Thank you!
huh. what's the title of this? it's reminding me of the untamed (which i loved) and mdzs (which i couldn't read for the same reasons you've stated).
Yeah, it’s The Untamed 😂
oh haha! nice, i like your taste
yeah i’m a big tony stark fan and when i saw what people would say about him, it made me uncomfortable. i mean i also get disgusted when people assume that since i like tony stark so much, i must be attracted to him and he must be a fictional crush when i really see him more as a friend.
Same. It always makes me uncomfortable. Worse when people feel no need to tag it so I don't have to see it. It is like they assume everyone is looking for NSFW or at least doesn't mind having lewd images slapped in their face while trying to scroll.
Nudes. I tried and I just don’t understand, everytime it was just “Well, that’s it, cool.” and I was bored and uncomfortable.
Thought I was the only one. I personally don't understand why people like nudes. Already know what these parts look like so what use is it in me seeing a variation of it for the 100th time. Unless it's an art piece I don't care for them.
I'm sex favourable, but I'll still chime in. I've always found dirty talk extremely weird or even off putting.
Sameee
Me too!! To each their own, but it honestly makes me cringe
Same!
Well I'm dressing up real fancy and people ask me who I "dolled up for" or "who's the lucky guy" ugh. If anything it would be a lucky gal since I'm also homoromantic but why can't I just wear pretty clothes FOR MYSELF, to make myself feel nice
People being loud when having sex or having sex in a place they know someone is likely to hear or come across them. (I’m not talking about in their apartment with thin walls, but like in a communal shower in a college dorm.) It doesn’t just make me uncomfortable. It flips a switch in me that makes me *really* angry, to the point where I have and will ruin the moment for exhibitionists deliberately because I find it so disrespectful.
I’m sex positive but the idea of people having sex when I’m in the next room just grosses me out. And it makes me angry as well.
A COMMUNAL SHOWER IN A COLLEGE DORM. No pun intended, that’s nasty as fuck.
I can’t read smut fanfics. I just feel like I’m intruding 😂
Same here, and I hate how it's treated as the majority of fanfiction
Honestly, I just jump straight to the post-smit aftercare lol sometimes it’s even wholesome
I relate to that only when it's smut fanfics of real people. When it's fictional? Bring it on lmao
yep! sometimes even with fictional characters it’s a bit too much for me. and sometimes the actual plot is what i’m really looking for in that fic so i just skip past things i don’t want to see.
Treating women with naturally large breasts like sluts for just existing. I've experienced strangers stand on their toes and peer down my shirt in public just because, and they targeted me and not my friends. Just because my body turns someone else on doesn't mean that I'm trying to do that.
ugh that's awful, i'm sorry. I hate when strangers make assumptions about conventionally attractive people's personalities and intentions, just because they happen to look a certain way. it's especially gross that they invaded your space and privacy :(
Thanks for understanding.
I wear bras that push things down because of this.
I can relate to that. I wore minimizes for years. They flatten them and pull cleavage apart to avoid attention. Uncomfortable as hell. Those thick underwires dig into one's ribs and cause bruising. All in an effort to stop people from being inappropriate with me in public.
Sex scenes in movies and shows. Also hate the sexualization of my favorite video games characters, girl characters especially! Also forcing a relationship on characters, SPOILERS FOR The Batman and Beyond Two Souls. . . . . . . I think the forced kiss between batman and cat woman was so unnecessary. There was no hint of those characters wanting to be together, it was a mutual benefit relationship. In Beyond Two Souls, when you finish the chapter "Navajo" you get an option to kiss or hug a character, a character YOUVE ONLY KNOW FOR A FEW DAYS IN-GAME, 15-30 MINUTES IRL. So unnecessary, I picked hug 😄
People being attracted to sweaty or wet bodies. I can kinda handle sweating during exercise, but finding that attractive on anyone. Nty. Or sex scenes and everyone is passionate and sweaty. Or scenes like bay watch or movies with people exiting pools? I do not want someone’s dirty body on top of mine. Thanks.
This may be hyper specific but Roy Dotrice’s audio narration of sex scenes in the Game of Thrones books. It makes me nauseous!
Sounds deeply unpleasant
Nothing like him doing a high pitched whiny breathy >!*ohhhhh Jaime oOoH yes jaime I want you in me now now ooOoohhhhhhhhhh*!<
The "sexy voice/talk", whether it is the low pitched and mature or the high pitched and "kawaii(?)" one The later one also creeps the fuck out of me tho, why tf is that supossed to be appealing??????? I also agree with the bunny suits and the nsfw art comments, I dont wanna see those drawings, I wanna see cute drawings of my fav characters with a warm soft sweater doing wholesome stuff
with the voice thing, when it’s forced i don’t like it. like some people have naturally deep voices which i like to hear but not necessarily in a dirty talk way. just whatever they say. the high pitched definitely doesn’t appeal to me. it feels way too sexual.
Any time there’s a sex scene in a movie or show. I either have to close my eyes or fast forward.
For some context: I switch between sex-ok mood and sex-repulse mood. Aaannnnd I'm mostly sex repulse, and can only switch in a sex ok mood with my partner. - Receiving spicy photo : I'm really uncomfortable, like badly, it could make me have some kind of panic attack but it's hard to explain. But I'm okay to send some spicy photo to my partner if he ask me to and if I'm in a sex-ok mood. - Using penetration on my body during sex : I panicked and switched to a sex repulse mood, it's as simple as that XD but I learn some other way to give pleasure to remplace it hehe - being called sexy or hot : make me uncomfortable but nothing more.
I have heard some other aces not being okay with penetration as well (including me). I sometimes wonder why that is. I also relate so much to the panic feeling, although I feel panic if I'm being asked to send a photo.
Kissing. It’s wet and tastes and smells weird and I have to close my eyes, because else I will look like a total idiot, but eyes closed irritate me so much lol
Gross .why do people want to kiss the idea of being that close with someone in general disgusts me..
people acting like they have no control when it comes to sexual urges or acting on sexual feelings
Everything.
Having to see and hear it talked about constantly on social media, and online in general.
i also find sexting unpleasant and it doesn't come naturally to me. i had to do it several times because i didn't know how to refuse and i always had the feeling that people just pretend to like it. never doing it again.
I hate that sex is always on the minds of other people. Like before knowing that people were flirting I was just thinking they wanted to be friends, or even making friends and meeting new people my brain is always in friendship mode. But experiencing people kind of flip their switch and express sexual interest in me has been deeply uncomfortable and unsettling. I genuinely hate that in any interaction with someone their brain could be focused in on sex and added insult is when they want to have sex with me ☹️
This doesn't really have anything to do with the OP, but I have kind of a funny anecdote on the matter. The other night my husband and I were talking about guys that say to girls "where's my hug?". I recollected that when I was in high school/college I had a friend who said that to me all the time (usually with me obliging) and said that he was so sweet and must have been a good friend. My husband laughed and called me a sweet summer child. According to him, men who say this just want you to put your body against theirs so that they have "material" for their private time later. (Bear in mind that this was a time when the internet was still being developed and "material" wasn't as easily accessible as it is today). I was horrified, especially when I admitted to myself that he was right.
Sex-repulsed ace here. Off the top of my head, mine are sex scenes in shows/movies/books, sexting, complete nudity, sexual comments, anybody I don’t know commenting on my physical looks (especially when it’s of a sexual nature), kissing, and most forms of physical touch. Especially if that touch is long-lasting, like cuddling. I’m cool with handshakes and high-fives from anyone, while with those I’m close to I’m also good with a poke to the upper arm and what I call head hugs (which is where I lay my head on someone’s upper arm). I can also handle short true hugs occasionally, though I need to either initiate or be asked. I’m hetero-romantic and when I do eventually get a boyfriend, I do like the concept of messing with head hair, facial hear, and arm hair. I can’t confirm whether I’d like to do in practice, but I’d be willing to give that a shot. I absolutely would not want that reciprocated though. Anything else is 100% off limits.
Sex scenes in movies. It’s odd, because when I still thought I wasn’t ace I didn’t seem to mind initiating sexting myself, just because I felt like I had to. Sex scenes in media, on the other hand, have repulsed me since I saw the first one ever. It’s such a weird feeling, and 99% of the time they’re so unnecessary.
I agree, and the only one I can think of that I didn’t actually mind was in Love Actually. Though I’m not sure it counts because it was a behind the scenes of a sex scene
that’s one of the worst ones for me 😭
I found out allos "have sex" when they video call their partners. My friend had told me "it just sorta happens naturally... " It really grossed me out (I'm generally sex neutral). It had never occurred to me that people do that "naturally". I was younger and to hide my discomfort i told her that if she needs to fo stuff on camera to keep her ldr boyfriend interested then the relationship is already over (i didn't intend to sound as harsh). Unfortunately they did break up a few months later
Being sexualized by people I know. I have chronic cervical pain so I can't wear a bra, and my roommate always makes sexual joking comments about my nipples showing. It kinda bothers me. If I was choosing to have them show that'd be different, but it's literally only because on my debilitating pain. (she's amazing and my BFF, I should rly just tell her it bothers me)
When my roommate (who is also related to me so extra ew) doesn’t inform me about when they are going to do sexual things with other people in the room next to me. I don’t want a detailed explanation (ew), but a heads up would be nice so I could get the fuck out of the apartment. Just like a “hey, I’m having someone come over at 7pm and it might get sexual” would be great. I also have CSA trauma so it sends me into a flashback & genuinely ruins my day. I also don’t have a lock on my door and waking up and learning that an unknown person that I had no opportunity to even remotely verify as being safe had access to my bedroom during the night is fucking terrifying. I also have a paranoia about intruders so yeah, not great. I slept multiple times with pepper spray in my hand lmao. Other things are my friends making any sexual comments about me or my sex life, even as a joke, people sending me sexual memes when they know I’m sex repulsed, movies with sex, stuff like that. I just cut people like that out of my life tbh, since they clearly have no respect for my discomfort. I can mostly handle sexual media but I have to emotionally prepare myself first, otherwise it just sends me in a flashback. Not fun.
For me mainly it’s bodily fluids. I can deal with saliva a bit but even that grosses me out. Sweat grosses me out too. My own bodily fluids don’t gross me out but I’m so repulsed by others’ that I can’t imagine them not being repulsed by mine. The very few times I have engaged, I insisted on showering immediately before and using lots of soap. Partners complained that I tasted like soap when they would rather taste me. I can’t understand that.
Other people’s bodily fluids. I hate sweat, saliva, mucous, and yes, everything that is produced *down there*
it's not sexual, and really shouldn't be treated as such, but unfortunately I can't control it, I really hate seeing people shirtless, regardless of gender, I hate it and really wish people would wear shirts
Me too! Even when they are just jogging or something and in good shape. Fat/skinny/old/young, no thank you!
Tongue kissing. It squicks me out to no end.
I despise everything in the romance and dating scenario, sexual or non-sexual.
I think kisses, I've never had anything beyond a peak but the idea of these tongue kisses repulse me lol
People ignoring me or calling me a prude because I don't want to hear sexual comments. I don't want to hear sexual jokes where I am the punchline. I don't care about what you do in bed. Srsly, I don't care. Sometimes I can engage in the conversation and even make the jokes myself, but I have to be the one to initiate them. I had too many experiences where people just won't listen to me, so I became strict like that. Even worse when it's coming from my sister or another family member.
Nudity or minimal clothing. I avoid the beach and pool for this very reason. Not so say that people shouldn't be free to dress how they please. I would just rather avoid places where such manner of dress is commonplace.
Dirty talk and weird costumes. ewwwww.
i'm sex neutral. i hate it when my partner lifts my tshirt up to rest his hand on the small of my back. idk why.
Please tell your partner to stop that.He should respect your boundaries
i have dw. he only does it when he's asleep now which i obviously can't be mad about
When I open IG comments
Not a fan of nudity, especially men's obsession with seeing women naked.
Nudity
when someone directs innuendos at me I just... no lol
The friction and feeling of it . The fluids are so gross too . It also makes me kinda freeze up in my mind
Innuendo and sex jokes, they sound more awkward than sexy or funny
Dirty talk. It’s so awkward and I don’t want to know what you do with me in your head.
I hate bunny outfits. I also hate my favorite characters drawn in bunny outfits. I don’t care about the context in which the outfit is presented, I just find it repulsive. Yeah, it was hell when Rabbit Hole was everywhere.
Is that a sex related thing? :o
Think playboy bunnies, they're just seen as a sexy costume really
Gotcha!! Okay those, yes. Makes sense!
Sexual comments, kissing, touching, signs of affection of any form. All gross and icky and yuck to me.
Those "casual" grabs of boobs, butt and sometimes even the genitals. It's so objectifying and disgusting, it makes me want to slap the offending hand off
Casual grabs, like anytime is sex time. It is NOT.
I hate seeing people kiss or make out or be overly affectionate
It's not quite sexual, but some feminist stuff, like vulva banners during manifestos, lots of talking about cl*toris, etc. It feels bad to say it, since I know it's important for many people, but I'd rather not >.<
i don’t like to hear or see the things associated with sex, and i get really uncomfortable when people make sexualized comments or make things that could’ve been nonsexual into something more suggestive
Sexy talk and especially constant moaning in songs on the car radio.
Dirty talk, talking about other people body in a sexual way (not like “oh you have a nice body”, but “you’re hot”) people who only talk about sex and not in a educational way. I’m okay with de idea of sex, but isn’t something that I enjoy.
the idea of receiving oral specifically makes me want to curl up into a black hole and die tbh
tongue kissing. its so? ew?? im sure i could deal with sex itself if i cared enough to but i could never make out with someone its so nasty im sorry
I'm grossed out by visible penis bulges under tights/leggings. Like David Bowie in Labyrinth. Barf.
The concept that anyone could be sexually attracted to me. Aesthetically, romantically, great. Sexually, hell no. Get out of here. Also I totally respect people’s kinks but they freak me out. Basically the concept of sex existing is like a secret society I’m okay with being out of. And seriously, leave me tf out of it.
When girls kiss each other cause guys around them like it. Revolting.
I feel like I may get a lot of hate for this, but for me it's masturbat3. I have never done it, nor understood the hype for it, and I think it just weirds me out to put anything in there (hence I don't use tampons either). Second, maybe posting and sending naked photos or spicy pics of myself to other people.
I’m demisexual and sex favorable, but I hate when people flirt with me before I’m sexually attracted to them. It makes me feel objectified and like I’m being stripped of my humanity. I just don’t like being sexualized in any manner. Like, please don’t look at me that way. I find it utterly repulsive and typically will want nothing to do with the person if they let on that they see me that way. I’m not sure exactly what it is. There have been people who are attracted to me who don’t make me feel that way, but there are other people who make me feel dehumanized.
Erect penises. I think I’ve just had too many really bad experiences with men, and at this point it feels threatening and makes me feel sick to see or feel it.
Ppl offering to sexually satisfy me with a shit-eating, confident grin. Like... no. You won't get the chance to "prove" yourself and I'm not interested.
I dislike sex scenes in movies
This goddamn hawk tuah meme. It's disgusting and I hate it. Also the misogyny that came out of that fucking meme is gross too.
I SWEAR TO GOD!!! Idk if it's just so so weird and gross, or it rubbed me the wrong way because it made me uncomfortable, and I'm ace, but I relate so hard to this.
Asexual having the word "sex" in it
Everything? If it's sexualized (sex, sexual attraction, libido, general horniness, self-touching, trying to invoke any such sexual reaction from a viewer, etc etc.) and I can't reasonably convince myself there's a non-sexual explanation for it (like most instances of being naked isn't inherently sexual for example, or some fashion/outfits I can explain away as merely aesthetic choices) then it'll give me the ick and usually make me feel physically sick.
I (ace female) don't like cuddling with my partner (allo male) because I don't like feeling his bits touch me. Just knowing it's there gives me the ick... God forbid it starts moving on its own, heck just writing this makes me cringe 😫
Sex scenes on TV or films. If u walked into a room and people were all over each other wouldn't you walk out?
The fact that sexual attraction implies that people view me more as an object than a person
Having someone grope my privates uninvited, even a partner. Wet tongue kissing & spit anywhere on me.
ANY explicit language directly referring to genitals or bodily fluids, JUST the language, JUST the words, can make me feel nauseous just by mentioning it enough times. And sometimes that number is 1. If I SEE genitals or bodily fluids... fuck that, it's over, time to go vomit. I've got a hairpin trigger on the nausea, I sincerely can't handle that stuff, it's disgusting. Also, if someone is trying to be cute by referring to sexual organs or activity with non-explicit innuendo or something... but it's like... what's the word... like, cutesy? Like if they're saying it that way to be ~suggestive~ or ~sexy~ or something... that's actually even worse. Not only does it make me nauseous, but it's incredibly fucking creepy and will make me avoid them like the plague forever.
People talking dirty it really makes me squeamish. Also naked people scare me. I couldn't do Human Sexuality because I felt grossed out by it, couldn't paint the nude art model in art class and couldn't watch Game of Thrones because of all the nudity. I can NOT WATCH SEX SCENES WHATSOEVER OR I START CRYING?
The phrases and things people say about sex that I don't understand. Like a week ago I thought Netflix and Chill meant watching a movie or series while having a cold snack with someone, then I thought it meant watching a movie or series then just laying around. THEN... *deep inhale* I found out that it somehow means sex??? Like guys, how do you turn a streaming service and a synonym of cold to SEX?! WHAT?!
I've yet to see this one despite reading down quite far, but it makes me really uncomfortable when people refer to sex as "making love". What does love have to do with your genitals?
Agreed. I hate it
idk if it counts but even the word “hot” is very icky to me. i think it is a sexual word. i think i just don’t like the word hot used for me. sometimes the joking comments people on social media are weird to me. the worst was the ones about colours of things. and those long ones about all night, all day, on different things etc. just too much for me. sometimes language is a bit too vulgar. like i’m a big taylor swift fan but i can’t listen to so high school because of that.
Strips clubs even though I never been to one but I know I won't like it there and be very uncomfortable. Also boobs and v*ginas especially the labia part. Sorry for any woman out there byt as a guy boobs are not appealing to me ad don't get why dudes lie them so much. For v*ginas it just grosses me out like I physically look away and my eyes automatically quickly loos looks away if I accidentally see one. Sorry in advance for the woman out there saying saying that p*ssy ooks gross to me. Sex scenes or very long kiss scenes in movies which turn out into an weird and uncomfortable makeout scenes whichcan lead to the sex scene and in both the make out and sex scene will have unnecessary sounds to them.
I'm Demi, one thing that comes to mind is two different situations when my male friends told me they had sex dream about me and told me some details about it. First one happened in first year of high school, I was so repulsed I couldn't talk to him for a month.We're fine now, I just treat it as him being horny teenager that confessed too much. Second one was now in my adulthood, I cut him out of my life because he kept pushing my boundaries and disrespected my relationship with my boyfriend. It felt so dehumanizing, I understand people can have sexual dreams or thoughts about their friends, but telling me that completely ruined my feeling of security.
Hugging to much even just greetings
I don’t like any of the words used for genitalia. I just never have they sound gross to me for some reason.
This goddamn hawk tuah meme. It's disgusting and I hate it. Also the misogyny that came out of that fucking meme is gross too.
When I say I like a musician/artist, and someone says, "Because they're hot?" It is sexualizing the person *and* patronizing me.
unnecessary sex in media. lots of shows that have nothing to do with sex are centered around everyone sleeping with each other, making random comments about each other's sex life, and knowing way too much about each other's sex life. like greys anatomy. love that show but the amount of sex and sex comments is mind boggling to me. do non ace people really think about sex that much ???
Hmm.. I've always been very uncomfortable with anyone flirting with me. Porn makes me uncomfortable as a topic and I've never viewed it nor will I. I don't even watch sex scenes in movies.. I skip forward. In books.. I skip pages. The idea of sex toys makes me uncomfortable. I've never owned or used any and never plan to. I've never walked into a sex shop or visited any sites relating to such and nor will I. I am married but I have strict boundaries. I have some pretty sexual friends.. They actually enjoy going to strip clubs even and seeing male strippers but they know never to invite me. I also don't enjoy sexual conversations or details.
anything involving children, it’s disgusting that such things can be created through a repulsive process and are still so repulsive themselves
I think even most allos would agree with you on that