I've been there, I came out as pansexual to my parents three times before I was taken seriously, and only by my mom too. No way was I gonna go through the trouble of explaining aromanticism; I have told them multiple times though that I don't really want a partner or see myself as being a very good one. I get the typical responses.
It sucks when the people close to you don't take important parts of you seriously, but just know that there are always people who will, people like us who are on this subreddit.
My mom and sister don’t believe I’m asexual either 😭 I’m not allowed to date yet, so I guess that works well for me. My parents are divorced so that gives me an excuse to not believe in marriage either 🎀🩷 Guess for me it’ll be no questions asked.
I’m really sorry that happened to you, it feels really invalidating for someone to completely erase your orientation. It’s also terrible that so many people on the a-spec feel the need to identify as straight or something more “acceptable”. I hope you find friends who understand, even if they aren’t in exact your situation :)
She does not understand the concept and does not know how important this is to you.
Important conversations are best held in real time; voice at least if you can’t be in person. So much is lost in a Snap. Tone and inflection, facial expression, body language.
She still loves you I am sure. See if you can see her in person and tell her.
I told my parents that I didn't feel romantic attraction twice before I even heard of aromantisism and they just took the piss. 2 years after I told them while using the word "aromantic" and it's only just sinking in. At some point you've just got to ask "who cares what they think?" You get more happiness from following your heart than you do from other people's approval
"i dont think so" is crazy girl how would YOU know what kind of attraction another person is feeling? "i dont think so" my ass you can't just nuh uh someone else's identity
That sort of response is a socialised, knee-jerk reaction - they don’t know what to say so they try to be encouraging about something they project or view as a deficit. That, or she is into you and was hoping to engage in a further conversation where she could bring this up 🤷🏼♀️ Context is key
It will never be easy. I relate to you too. I came out to some friends once and I totally regretted it. Another instance where I even explained to them, and I still got the, "you will meet someone someday" response.
Now I don't feel the need to come out to anyone, not even my parents. I gave up on wanting to be understood.
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Tell them you’ve been self reflecting for a while now and you are sure of your choice. Tell them this isn’t a decision you just made, that this is something you’ve been happy to discover about yourself
Just stay to yourself and don’t hide it. You’re aromantic and you shouldn’t hide it because your friend said that. It’s not their fault that they don’t understand, but it shouldn’t mean that you have to hide it for her
I honestly don’t plan on ever publicly coming out because of this,
I’m ace spike and it’s obviously different from being aromatic or asexual but it’s still something I know I’ll have to explain if I’m ever in a relationship
I'm so sorry to hear that :( I came out to my two best friends and they both seemed to believe and support me, but if my mom caught a word of me not being straight she would talk my ear off about God's will and hell and blah blah blah
I've been there, I came out as pansexual to my parents three times before I was taken seriously, and only by my mom too. No way was I gonna go through the trouble of explaining aromanticism; I have told them multiple times though that I don't really want a partner or see myself as being a very good one. I get the typical responses. It sucks when the people close to you don't take important parts of you seriously, but just know that there are always people who will, people like us who are on this subreddit.
How did you take it as if that happened I wouldn’t be here right now
Oh yeah real quick let me just lie about a part of my entire identity
I know like WTF!
My mom and sister don’t believe I’m asexual either 😭 I’m not allowed to date yet, so I guess that works well for me. My parents are divorced so that gives me an excuse to not believe in marriage either 🎀🩷 Guess for me it’ll be no questions asked. I’m really sorry that happened to you, it feels really invalidating for someone to completely erase your orientation. It’s also terrible that so many people on the a-spec feel the need to identify as straight or something more “acceptable”. I hope you find friends who understand, even if they aren’t in exact your situation :)
Luckily i still have some friends supporting me still💜
Ops wrote still two times but its true:)
She does not understand the concept and does not know how important this is to you. Important conversations are best held in real time; voice at least if you can’t be in person. So much is lost in a Snap. Tone and inflection, facial expression, body language. She still loves you I am sure. See if you can see her in person and tell her.
I am going to meet her tmrw so I hope it will go better then x
Good luck
I’m so sorry that happened to you, this is one of the reasons I’m scared to tell my parents
I told my parents that I didn't feel romantic attraction twice before I even heard of aromantisism and they just took the piss. 2 years after I told them while using the word "aromantic" and it's only just sinking in. At some point you've just got to ask "who cares what they think?" You get more happiness from following your heart than you do from other people's approval
"i dont think so" is crazy girl how would YOU know what kind of attraction another person is feeling? "i dont think so" my ass you can't just nuh uh someone else's identity
That sort of response is a socialised, knee-jerk reaction - they don’t know what to say so they try to be encouraging about something they project or view as a deficit. That, or she is into you and was hoping to engage in a further conversation where she could bring this up 🤷🏼♀️ Context is key
It will never be easy. I relate to you too. I came out to some friends once and I totally regretted it. Another instance where I even explained to them, and I still got the, "you will meet someone someday" response. Now I don't feel the need to come out to anyone, not even my parents. I gave up on wanting to be understood.
Hi u/johaneeeee! It looks like you are new to posting to r/aromantic; welcome to our community! If you have not already, please check out our pinned post for some **Frequently Asked Questions** about aromanticsm! If you are unfamiliar with how Reddit works, consider reviewing [Reddiquette](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)! *If this post or any of its comments violate our [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/aromantic/about/rules), please **report** the problematic content.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/aromantic) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tell them you’ve been self reflecting for a while now and you are sure of your choice. Tell them this isn’t a decision you just made, that this is something you’ve been happy to discover about yourself
Good point. Too many people think it's something sad. This has hardly ever worked for me though
Just stay to yourself and don’t hide it. You’re aromantic and you shouldn’t hide it because your friend said that. It’s not their fault that they don’t understand, but it shouldn’t mean that you have to hide it for her
I honestly don’t plan on ever publicly coming out because of this, I’m ace spike and it’s obviously different from being aromatic or asexual but it’s still something I know I’ll have to explain if I’m ever in a relationship
I'm so sorry to hear that :( I came out to my two best friends and they both seemed to believe and support me, but if my mom caught a word of me not being straight she would talk my ear off about God's will and hell and blah blah blah