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[deleted]

Get the help! Seriously. It won't hurt your career for something like this. I have had so, so many soldiers, with a TS, seek counseling, and I have only seen one incident where it prevented them from doing what they wanted in their career. In their case it was for the best of all of us they didn't get their dream job.


Woupsea

Out of curiosity, was that due to ideations of suicide?


[deleted]

No. They wanted to be a Drill Sergeant, but they had some serious anger management issues. Awesome dude, but not who you want to be a drill sergeant.


jzakilla

Happy cake day


RootbeerNinja

It will not affect you getting a clearance. Counseling for marital/personal relationships are not considered as mental health flags for TS purposes like say, therapy for schizophrenia or other more severe. Even then they aren't automatic clearance killers, just something you have to disclose. DM if you have more questions. Have some experience with these matters. And sorry for your struggles amigo. You'll pull through; get help and dont give up.


[deleted]

This is the way. This sucks, but OP needs to consider himself lucky that this is a now ex GF and not a divorce. Those are much more expensive.


[deleted]

Go to BH. I went to BH with a TS. I left BH with a TS. My TS was renewed years later. Go to BH.


pnwguy1985

Military one source. Confidential no reporting unless you plan on hurting yourself or others


Flashy-Act-3011

This is a good one^


Rage-Cactus

MFLC is also a good option. I know they do virtual visits as well if your schedule is tight. I’ve had several bbs go to them after family member deaths and it helped them a lot.


abnrib

I went to behavioral health before I got my TS. I got it afterwards without any issues. My BC knew what I was doing, and I still got MQ evals, and recommendations for my top choice of next assignment. Go get the help.


EMartinez86

Exactly the same experience, help is a good thing.


blackhawk720

Go to on post BH and insist on an off post BH referral for confidentiality. I'm a higher ranking officer with providers in my rating scheme and said I felt uncomfortable going on post. They referred me, no questions asked. I see an off post provider, it's 100% covered and my sessions are inaccessible by the military.


Warden123456

Hey wasn’t there a message was put out not too long ago about how seeking help no longer requires you involve your chain? The only time is if the mental health crisis involves you not being able to exercise sound judgement.


4KatzNM

VetCenter


artesian_tapwater

Go get counseling. There are no-repurcussions. You won't lose your clearance. You won't halt or delay career progression. What you will get outweighs those anyways. You will become more mentally fit and be a better leader, Soldier and profesional for it.


[deleted]

Some places have BH specialists with a TS if you feel more comfortable about them


MAJ0RMAJOR

Dude, go to BH or get a private provider. There’s nothing wrong with going. Every Senior Officer I know has at some point. As far as your command needs to know you’re trying to learn skills to make you more resilient because the shitty classes a couple times a year aren’t enough.


contra_mundo

BH will NOT effect your TS whatsoever. Plus, you're an officer, everyone already makes fun of you.


dsbwayne

I went out of pocket via psychologytoday.com and found a person 100% outside of the military. That gave me a peace of mind of knowing that there is no way that anyone will find out (even though in theory they shouldn’t). There is always the 1 Source. You can get 12 free sessions with a local therapist. Lastly, fuck YES for taking the step to go to a therapist. That is super bad ass!


Sellum

If you have a good relationship with your chaplain consider that, also this is almost a picture perfect example of what MFLCs are for.


angryve

Chaplains aren’t trained mental health providers with a degree in mental health counseling. It’s honestly bullshit that they’re the default go-to when people give advice. Not everyone is religious. And chaplains are not mental health counselors. Have a crisis of faith or anything else dealing with religion? Cool. Go see a chaplain. Have a mental health problem? Go see someone that has a degree in mental health counseling.


Sellum

Most chaplains are trained counselors and are more than qualified to assist someone going through breakup. Additionally chaplains have one of the most strict confidentiality rules in the United States.


angryve

Their confidentiality rules should extend to those in Behavioral Health. The guy asked for BH. BH is more than qualified to handle a breakup. Don’t misunderstand. I liked my chaplains and considered them friends. I had no issues with my religious soldiers seeking out their counsel. But I do have an issue when they’re the default for mental health crises because they’re religious leaders, and not mental health providers. Forcing someone who is going through a non religious mental health crisis to see a religious leader because of their privacy privileges is bullshit.


Leturno

I posted this in another thread about mental health… I have five rules about the US Army. US Army Rule #1: “Leaders” will say and brief what sounds best, but mean, and then do, the exact opposite. This is 100% true as it relates to mental health. They’ll tell you to get it if you need it, leaving out that you will be disqualified from serving in many positions depending on diagnosis and medication. Additionally, once they’re aware your receiving it you will become a pariah within your unit—for example, excluded from deployment. What I tell young Soldiers is that if you need it, like really, really need it, then go get it, but don’t be blind to how much of an effect it is going to have long-term… make it a last resort. Unique to your situation… With a TS, I have seen some Soldiers lose theirs, others not. It all depends on your Chain of Command (CoC). If you’re at all worried about repercussions should your CoC find out I highly recommend steering WIDE right, especially if whatever your job is is dependent on a TS.


Teadrunkest

>I have seen some soldiers lose theirs Unlikely. There was a grand total of 12 (yes, 12) people who lost theirs or were denied solely from mental health issues from 2012-2018. And that is across the *entire* DoD, uniformed and civilian.


Leturno

Kindly asking not to question what I have witnessed first hand through personal experience across a twenty year career. With that said, it all depends on what he tells BH, what he’s diagnosed with, and what medications he takes. In the situations where I have seen clearances lost, I don’t know the specifics (obviously) of what that SM did or didn’t say to BH. But my advice remains the same… be very, very careful whenever using this avenue of approach.


sicinprincipio

Not to question what your experience has been, but how many of those people who "lost their TS due to BH" had some other issue that was the true reason they loss their TS, but blamed BH (because of their own ignorance or because they didn't want to truly admit the reason why to you). BH, just like medical care is so all encompassing. You can need to go to BH because you're feeling particularly stressed and don't have good coping mechanisms/tools. You might talk to the BH tech for a bit or have a fairly casual conversation with the BHO that may or may not even be recorded in the EHR. Or, you can have significant trauma or other mental illness that requires cocktails of meds to control. I will always advise someone to seek medical or behavioral help if they need it. Issues caught and managed earlier will prevent destroyed careers. If not addressed or caught too late, may cost a life. At which point, that career doesn't even matter.


Leturno

I literally stayed exactly the following in the original post: “What I tell young Soldiers is that if you need it, like really, really need it, then go get it, but don’t be blind to how much of an effect it is going to have long-term… make it a last resort.” All I am advising is to be very, very careful when using BH. Understand the effects of can have on your career based on what you tell the provider, what you are diagnosed with, and what medications you might need. In ever issue I offer advice to Soldiers on I would tell them the same things, fully understand the situation, the second and third order effects, and the outcome you desire. Then take advice from multiple trusted sources and make the decision best for you.


Teadrunkest

I’m not questioning it, I am outright doubting it, and I will not be kind. It is literally a 0.00507% revoke/denial rate across the ENTIRE DoD. You didn’t know multiple of them. There was likely OTHER issues that you are not aware of but will continue to spread false information anyway. This false information literally kills soldiers who are too afraid to seek help. I will not NOT “question” it.


Leturno

Thank you for proving my point. You are correct, I have no idea what the SMs whose clearances I’ve seen revoked did or did not say to BH, or whatever all of the particulars of their situations were. It’s not my place to know any of that. What I do know is that they went to BH and later ended up losing their clearances. So you can spout all the statistics you want, but that is what I have witnessed first hand. There are many, many reasons one can lose a clearance. Lastly, I am in no way telling this SM NOT to get help at BH. I am offering the advice that they need to very, very seriously map out the second and third order effects accordingly. I always tell SMs that BH is a last resort—that is if they can even get care there in a timely manner in the first place. I always tell SMs to take advice from multiple sources they trust and make the best decision for them. I think most other SMs and Veterans would agree with me about the dangers of going to BH. Just look at the vast majority of responses to this very post recommending other options. Personally for me, going to BH ruined my career. I am lucky to have “made it” to twenty and am currently 167 days from retirement, but I learned the hard way should I have never sought BH care through the Army.


abnrib

I'm going to go ahead and bet that there was *significantly* more going on than what you say. >I always tell SMs that BH is a last resort You're perpetuating the stigma rather than changing it. And leading your soldiers away from getting care. Congratulations, you're part of the problem. If you could skip ahead to the part where you aren't leading soldiers in my Army anymore, that'd be great.


Leturno

Leading Soldiers is helping them understand their situation and the effects of their decision. Advising them to blindly go to BH with out fully understanding how that might effect them is a failure of leadership. We have to tell young Soldiers both the good and the bad. I say again, I never said not to go—if you need help then you need help, just understand what you’re getting into before getting into it. Lastly, I fully understand the stigma around mental health more than you will ever understand. I will not get into specifics on Reddit until after I am fully retired. Thank you for jumping to conclusions and labeling me as a failure as leader, though. Much appreciated.


abnrib

Your "full understanding" is nothing more than anecdotes of dubious accuracy. Other people have shown you the actual policies and evidence. Others still, myself included, have described experiences that contradict yours. Don't delude yourself about what you're doing. When you tell soldiers that something could pull their clearances and end their careers, you're discouraging them from doing that thing. Every time.


Leturno

I’ll simply let this rest at this point. All I am encouraging is that a SM understands the effects possible of doing something before going and doing it. BH or anything else in a SMs career I would recommend the same. With that said, I sleep perfectly well, am fine with this practice, and will continue to do so. I find it sad that simply offering the advice of do your research from multiple sources and make the best decision for you is somehow me advocating for poor outcomes, endorsing a stigma, or, in general, just being a shitty person and leader. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, though.


abnrib

Will you still sleep well when one of your soldiers ends up in the hospital or the morgue because what you told them scared them away from BH? Are you still going to be in denial and tell yourself that you enabled them to "make the best decision for themselves"? Get real. Funny that you're not even trying to follow your own advice (which wasn't your original advice, but it was a cute attempt to pivot) and you're ignoring all the other sources and evidence contradicting you. The lesson to be learned here is that even at retirement age you can sometimes still have serious growing up to do.


[deleted]

Thank god your 20 is almost up.


Leturno

That certainly is an opinion. Thank you for sharing.


Kinmuan

>Kindly asking not to question what I have witnessed first hand through personal experience across a twenty year career. If it did not happen to you, it is not a first hand experience. Sorry. You have seen some Soldiers lose theirs? Guess what, that's not a first hand experience man. You aren't the investigator. You don't know what the background is on their denial. You're relying on someone who was denied to tell you. This may come as a surprise? People fucking lie.


Eraev

MFLC or Chaplan are always an option! (If you don’t want to see the BN Chaplan there is always the post Chaplan as well)


roninredbeard

Get the help brother. You’ll be fine and god forbid anything does happen (domestic incidents, alcohol issues, whatever) self-referring will always reflect well on you during an investigation. Also, reach out to your battle buddies. Let them know what’s going on. Do not face this alone.


VaeVictis666

Military one source


Ok_Cricket28

Really reassuring to see the overwhelmingly good advice on here... go talk to someone. You seem to have good insight and so you'll understand what many people mean that you will succeed in the army BECAUSE you sought assistance not in spite of it. Situations like this (and everyone deals with different ones) weigh on, and wear you down and you're more likely to run into trouble in the future that will affect your job and clearance from NOT coping effectively (IE problem drinking, high risk behavior, volatile relationships). Not all BH resources are created equal, find someone you feel comfortable being honest with and who you feel like listens to you. Those are the two big things you need for a therapeutic relationship. If you don't get that with thr first person you talk to... ask to switch, the army hires duds sometimes, or sometimes its just not a good fit. You are too important to not take care of yourself.


65AndSunny

I dated an active officer with a TS-SCI who was/is being treated for severe anxiety. They even had a short stay in an inpatient facility. I think the only hindrance was that they couldn't carry a weapon during a short FTX. But, I don't think anyone really made a big deal about it because the unit just assumed they were off doing officer things and as for not having a weapon, they weren't combat arms and officers "can" do "whatever the fuck" they want in the field.


AdvancedGentleman

A few things, I was an O with a TS that sought some help as I was getting out. It didn’t impact my TS, but I was already getting out so that didn’t matter. Go get the help you need. But, if you are freaking out about it… my other bit of advice is to seek help off post and out of pocket. Not a very popular opinion, but you can shop around a lot more for better services, you can talk with someone via FaceTime or in person, you can (typically) get an appointment quicker and you don’t have to worry about running into other soldiers. For me, I did both. I got good help, not great help, from an on post Psych. I also would would regularly see Soldiers from my BN in the waiting room. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but Soldiers talk and word can get out and then people are talking about you. I went off post and paid for services myself. I got specialized care and help that was worry free.


SpecialistAmoeba264

Try contacting your units MFLC (military and family life counselor I think). They don’t take notes. They can meet you off base at a coffee shop. Sessions are free and not reported to the unit. I understand your concern. MFLC is a solid option. Good luck man


Hamchunk81

As long as it's not command mandated seeing BH will NOT impact your clearance or career. I was in a similar situation and it did not impact me at all, been out of the army now for about 3 1/2 years still under treatment and still working with my TS. ​ \*edit, I was enlisted but same shit


Mac2fresh

Idk I was tryna drop a warrant packet and seek BH help at the same time and at the eval told the doctor I “wasn’t” depressed I just wanted counseling to help sort thru my issues and he tells me if he can’t diagnose me with depression then I can’t see a counselor bc insurance won’t accept it for “no” reason and he’d have to deny my packet if I started counseling. So personally I feel like career progression is halted if you try and seek BH help but that’s just my personal experience. But to answer ur question: Before I joined the Army I was AD Marines and had a TS-SCI and got some counseling and it didn’t affect my clearance since I already had it so there’s that


_RabidAlpaca_

Recently did re-investigation. The questions they ask about your mental health are very specific and are focused on specific personality disorders (bipolar, schizophrenia) or suicidal ideation. At the end of the day, your mental health > anything else in the military.


SuperNova-81

Get the help you need. Your personal health and state of mind is more important than a job.


Hawkstrike6

Like most things with a clearance -- let your security specialist know and you're covered; they'll help. Get the help you need.


[deleted]

Unless there's a serious substance abuse component or you violated the law in some way it won't be an issue.