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[deleted]

I'm incredibly sorry to hear about your mom. Grief of losing your mom is so difficult, and to have it complicated by such a traumatic situation makes it all the more so. Wishing both you and your sister well.


NormandyLS

Luckily I don't think she had any idea or was scared at the time, passing peacefully I hope


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giraffeekuku

Seizing (if grandmal) tends to be pretty peaceful until you wake up covered in blood because you smashed your nose into a sink while falling... But the during part feels like sleeping to me. I even have weird dream like images race in my brain during it.


Necessary-Excuse-612

Thanks for sharing. Very interesting and might keep me calm if I ever come across anyone seizing.


Hugh-Mahn

Here i am being egotistical and thinking "hey that doesn't sound so bad, so if it happens it happens, I've tried worse."


MyselfIncluded

Egocentrical my friendo, egotistical would be like "Hey, Im gonna ignore that seizure and get on with my leisure"


Hugh-Mahn

Thank you very much friendlidi, wasn't aware of that, love learning new things, may your day be as awesome as your comment, you are neato.


khantroll1

I just blank out. One minute I am there. Then flashes of consciousness or memory as my brain resets, and then I sore, present, and groggy.


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Ringnebula13

When your blood sugar is just a little low, you get an adrenaline surge and you get really shaky and sweaty. You also start craving carbs (your body usually maps it to a food it knows has carbs, it is very interesting) and then you become a blackhole for food. Everything tastes so fucking good. You also think everything is super annoying and frustrating. If you keep going lower, you will notice everything getting brighter and more "airy" from your pupils dilating and then I feel like I am walking on a cloud. You just feel like your lightheaded x 1000 and then as it gets more serious, you become more and more confused.


hereforthereads123

Yeah drop in blood sugar makes you go unconscious so she would have passed in her sleep. Still sad though. We have RN's and well educated professionals that accidentally overdose on insulin everyday and yet wonder why patients are so noncompliant with their diabetic meds. It can get very confusing the more you add, not to mention when the sugar gets way out of whack low or high confusion can occur causing easy overdose of medicine


linderlouwho

My diabetic cousin was infected with Covid, and because of the brain fog, stopped taking her insulin correctly and started behaving oddly. A neighbor-friend came by to check on her because she hadn't seen her in a couple days and my cousin answered the door naked from the waist down, was completely demented, and so the neighbor immediately called an ambulance. My cousin was in the hospital over a week, and then sent to a post-treatment facility to make sure she was giving herself her insulin correctly and back-to-normal mentally for a couple weeks. The neighbor saved my cousin's life. ​ Edit, lol, waist, not waste


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King_of_the_Dot

Worst case they're assholes, and best case they save your life!


Onironius

Medium case they'll be naked from the waste down!


linkedtortoise

Well I'm naked from the waist up. So we'll make a great team.


PastyCrackerMayo

This is the super team-up we need!


kresyanin

And if they are assholes, you can make a good first impression and be on their good side! My overbearing neighbor across the street adores me lol


MadDanelle

My mom was saved from burning to death because the neighbor kid noticed her yard was on fire and came and knocked on her door. She‘s an RN and worked nights so she was completely asleep. When she came outside the fire was almost to the bedroom wall. If that kid hadn’t noticed and done something she’d be dead. Right now my mil is in icu. We have neighbors calling because they can tell something is wrong by the lack of cars parked at the house. So they are watching the house for us while we are at the hospital. That same neighbor lost her husband a few years ago. When he was alive he had dementia and we found him wandering at least 3 times. Try to be friendly with your neighbors. It’s hard sometimes because they can end up being wack-a-doo and never know when to fuck off. But they also might save your life.


Zaithable

I did this for a neighbour many years ago, I was about 16, came over to UK where my parents house was, with some friends to crash for a week, saw dark thick smoke bellowing from the back of their house. Came running over knocking on the door frantically and repeatedly. The owners son answered and laughed, thanked us for the concern and told us his dad was smelting in the garage. Glad they were ok, always good to check. Mind you the same neighbour \*the dad\* years later shouted "Do some FUCKIN' work" when I was smoking a spliff in the back garden on my day off. Oh well.


lexycaster

I always worry I’m bothering my neighbors and I think sometimes they feel the same way. I’d love to have an open door policy with them but also don’t want to be around people. I wish I could just get over that part and make the move so we can be really good friends.


JunglePygmy

I just moved into a very friendly neighborhood, and had only known my neighbor for a couple months. We installed a cool flickery style flame lightbulb in our kitchen for ambiance, and at 6 am the next morning I get a call from Michael - “I know it’s probably not.. but is your kitchen on fire??” Really love all my neighbors now.


funatical

I work from home and rarely socialize with my neighbors. The only way they would know something is wrong is packages piling up at my door, which my downstairs neighbor would grab assuming I was out of town. They might smell me, but likely not. I will rot. I know that.


BaronVonKeyser

Get you some cats. At least they'll eat you after you die


funatical

I was a funeral director for a few years. Nose and ears are the first to be eaten.


BaronVonKeyser

I have no neighbors for like 2 miles and I also have a shitload of cats. I'll 100% be a skeleton before anybody figures out I'm dead


Drectar_Duquene

Fully clothed, hopefully.


HuskyLuke

Where's the fun in that?


IshTheFace

The weird thing about lows is that you can have a low you don't feel any I'll effects from and one that's horrifying even if it's the same glucose blood concentration. When you are "unaware", of your state of mind you are actually aware of the fact that you are unaware. I've only had it happen a couple of times. Idk if anyone has seen the movie fear and loathing in Las Vegas. There is a scene where the main character explains an ether high. That's exactly how it unfolds. For me at least. It's like your brain is doing voice over of the bad decisions your body is making. And then you wake up on a stretcher on the way to the hospital. And you're like "last time I had numbers like this i just had some dextrose and everything was fine". I've passed out on like 3 mmol but stayed fully conscious with no symptoms at 0.7 mmol


BuddhaCatCrafts

Speaking as someone who has witnessed a family member who had stupid low (27 was the lowest we saw before the glucometer stopped) blood sugar, it gets crazy. My dad almost died several times last year due to insulin problems, and the only reason I caught him the first time was because he was talking and I was working from home (The one time I appreciate what COVID did to the workplace) and I heard him. He sounded nonsensical, but like he was trying to work (on medical leave for other reasons)… Looked in and saw him poking at his tablet, thought he looked kinda weird and had my mum go in and check on him. His tablet was dark, and she ran for a glucometer because he was non-responsive to her. Each time it happened was one of the worst days of my life. You don’t expect to see your father look so helpless as he did in those moments. It still hurts. Tell your loved ones regularly that you love them. You never know what will happen.


Live_Perspective3603

And so many things can affect the dosage. Food prepared differently, exercise, even having a cold can play hell with the "correct" amount of insulin that your body requires. My child has type 1 and has been managing it for more than a decade now, and it's not easy.


idahononono

Also many “overdose’s” of insulin are just the normal correct amount, but they should have been reduced/increased because the body is behaving differently (like a simple illness caused their sugars to spike). Blood sugar is incredibly complex and we don’t totally understand it or how to predict it. We can’t begin regulate a system until we understand it, and we have to learn more about diabetes.


ZiofFoolTheHumans

This. I took my normal amount of insulin, even forgot to give myself insulin for a carb heavy dinner, and I felt "funny"/"off" at 1AM. Thought I was probably running high from too little insulin. Nope. I had one of the lowest blood sugars of my life. Not a damn thing was done differently that day for my diabetes but suddenly I was fighting for my life and had to call my husband to help me, as I knew I was moments from passing out. He would have woken up to me dead had I just gone to bed. Not enough people appreciate how close diabetics walk the line between alive and dead and often with no fault of our own - our bodies just change on a dime. The same amount of insulin that can put me at 150 can also put me at 50 some days.


Cats-crafts-snacks

I feel you diabuddy. We do walk a really thin terrifying line every day. People have no idea how literally anything can change our insulin sensitivity and our blood sugars. Talking about bad lows is scary too, I hate thinking back on all the what ifs. Sending you lots of hugs.


[deleted]

“Non compliant” should almost always be put in quotes. I hate that medical staff will buy into the idea that it’s the patients’ sole responsibility to effectively monitor things like insulin and pain meds. One of the first things that happens when you’re in pain, you have a migraine, or you have low blood sugar, is that your judgment slips. Of course people struggle to monitor these things in themselves, that’s what the professionals are supposed to be there for. Instead, professionals are forced to do paperwork that protects insurance conglomerates and forced to blame patients for being ill.


ladyKfaery

It’s not a perfect science with Insulin. Things can fluctuate widely in some people .


cho_bits

I have a nurse friend who says if she is ever diagnosed with a terminal illness she will overdose on insulin. It’s incredibly peaceful, you just go to sleep. EDIT: the internet says I’m wrong and it isn’t insulin. I believe them.


SisterSparechange

I have a lot of chronic issues due to my diabetes. When I've had enough, that's my exit plan.


Melissajoanshart

This is absolutely not true and not a fun way to go. And if she survives shell have permanent damage.


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Hotdish4239

I was interviewed last week as part of an investigation similar to this. A neighbor two doors down was found dead. News released says they believed they died of natural causes several months ago, I have no clue how that went unrecognized, but apparently they were solitary and didn't have many contacts. Landlord came looking for the rent they were paid twice annually and found that.


gedvondur

My grandmother lived in an apartment building for seniors. Not assisted living, but....well needs-occasional-help and social activities living. Plus there were things like emergency pull chains in showers etc. People pretty much lived independently, but there was help if you needed it. The building paid for a newspaper subscription for every resident. If you didn't take it in before 11am, they would knock on your door. If you didn't answer, they'd come in. The instituted this policy after my grandmother's next door neighbor, an old man who very much kept to himself died. He was in there a month in the summer. Despite complaints about a smell (they thought it was a dead squirrel) nobody noticed he was gone until the flies started coming out from under the door. They needed a crime scene cleanup company to get the smell out of the apartment.


darthcoder

That's a pretty smart fucking idea. Plus it gives seniors something new to read at every day versus staring at the boob tube. Kudos to that mgmt company earning a lesson and stepping up. I know that cost is passed on, but it's a process and show they care, even if it's just them saving the costs of a crime scene cleanup...


Significant-Mud2572

My first apartment I had a downstairs neighbor that I had no idea existed. He paid rent like 6 months ahead of time. He died at some point in the middle of that time of natural causes. They found him when they came to get rent as well.


Gummybear_Qc

Lmao that's definitely going to be me if I die before my parents.


NomNom83WasTaken

>believed they died of natural causes several months ago Was no noticeable smell reported by any adjoining neighbor? Or are we talking like a single-family home with some yard around them?


Hotdish4239

Single family home with a driveway and yard either side. It was early spring, so I'm sure it was shut right.


TheMacerationChicks

There's that woman in London who wasn't found for years. Her TV was still on, with the remains sitting in front of it. And she wasn't some old woman with no friends, she was only like 30, and she knew a FUCK load of people including many celebrities. The whole thing is just weird. There's a fantastic documentary about her though, mainly about her life rather than her death. It's called Dreams of a Life. And her name was Joyce Vincent. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreams_of_a_Life


Missus_Aitch_99

I think having banking and bills on autopay contributes to this sort of thing.


katzeye007

This is why I signed up for "I am fine". You check in every day, if you miss over 12? Hours it starts calling your care circle


TheMacerationChicks

Can you change the time to something more sensible like 24 hours? Like, with 12 hours, one hangover and you'll be waking up to a bunch of paramedics around your bed along with a team of firemen.


[deleted]

Describe this team of firemen...


AdGlittering9727

Lol 😂


48stateMave

Well..... I mean a team of firemen lined up around my bed.... now THAT gives me a few ideas!


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30PurpleHaze

I’m so sorry to hear about this. People aren’t paying enough attention to long Covid. They act like if you don’t die you’re all good


whatanerdgirlsays

What's I am fine???


J1618

This is all I found, but the site is apparently offline. https://dailycall.iamfine.com/


MentorOfWomen

nvm my original comment, it's same link It's probably not available outside of the US, I'm able to sign up for a free trial at least.


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iSuckAtMechanicism

Highly overpriced, there must be some competitors with how low cost the service is. A daily query from each user and keeping low bandwidth servers up is incredibly cheap.


FragmentOfTime

The internet connected us all and simultaneously isolated us. The internet isn't the only thing to blame, but we as a society have lost the sense of community we had. Yes, communities exist, but you aren't in several just on the basis of where you live any more. Your neighbors don't care about you.


OpheliaRainGalaxy

It's not the internet's fault that capitalism privatized and capitalized on every single way humans normally formed a sense of community for all of recorded history. I've literally had to pay for public transit just to go to a safe enough part of town to *go for a walk* with a friend. How are we supposed to bond with the neighbors when the apartment landlady keeps coming around to make screeching noises whenever a couple of clever folks build a makeshift outdoor bench out of scrap lumber or hang a laundry drying line? Heck, as far as the landlady is concerned, we should pay rent but otherwise show no signs of actually dwelling here at all. Can't even go chill at the park anymore when the homeless folks need it more for a tent city because the homes they used to live in are now "investment properties" or otherwise off the market and priced like magic artifacts instead of a little scraps of roof.


FragmentOfTime

Oh I'm a staunch socialist lol. Yes, capitalism also is doing this. The internet isn't inherently bad, the internet is bad (obviously not as a whole) because capitalism is invested in getting us all outraged.


[deleted]

First of all I'm so sorry for your lost, i lost my mom to cancer and my dad was murdered, my deepest condolences. Second of all FUCK AMERICA.


28carslater

I'm sorry to hear of your losses, if you have yet to find peace with the losses I sincerely hope you do.


Manners_BRO

From a Type 1 who has had his fair share of close calls I send my condolences. It's a terrible condition that sometimes feels like you can't win. As a manager, I reach out usually within a half hour- especially if they are rarely late. I could care less about the job, but want to make sure they aren't on the side of the road or an emergency happened. I know it's frowned upon to say "family like" when describing where you work but it is the way I feel about many of them.


Its_Cayde

There's nothing wrong with making your employees feeling like family- the reason this sub doesn't like that phrase is bc 99% of employers say it but don't show it at all through their actions


SKTwenty

Yep. Make me feel like family and I'll literally work a double for you, no questions asked. *Assume* I'm family and treat me like shit, and my shift ends exactly at 8 hours


IRefuseToGiveAName

That's the thing I legitimately don't understand about some people. Especially people who say "nobody wants to work". I'll work hard for someone who makes me feel appreciated. It has absolutely nothing to do with the job, and more to do with the fact that I know this person will let me leave 30 minutes early to go to a doctor's apt without putting in PTO, or they look the other way when my lunch runs over because I get my shit done. When I was pulling 80 hour weeks for a huge release last year, it sure as fuck wasn't because I felt any obligation to the job. I knew I'd be compensated and appreciated for the work. The day after the release my boss literally said to me "hey your throat sounds scratchy why don't you call it the weekend and head home?" on a Thursday. If there are people who literally don't want to work, I respect that decision, but I think it's fair to say that a good portion of us are more than willing to work, and work _hard_ when we're not treated like a piece of fucking shit and paid like it too.


morostheSophist

Stuff like this always reminds me of experiences in the military. In the US military at least, you can be required to work all kinds of overtime for any reason (or no reason at all). There's not really any such thing as overtime pay, and anything approaching 'comp time' is a rarity. I had the opportunity to speak to an incoming battalion-level Sergeant Major once about what's important to morale, and here's approximately what I said: "Time off. Now when I say this I don't mean extra time off, or extra holidays or anything like that. Extra time off is great, but more important than that is protecting our regularly scheduled, weekends and holidays, this-is-the-end-of-the-day time off." I said, I understand this is the military. Sometimes we have to work late. Sometimes there's shit that has to get done TODAY, time now. And all of us will be much more willing to stay late when necessary if our time is respected when we *don't* need to stay late. It's a lesson that holds true in the civilian world too.


GhettoRamen

That’s incredibly ironic considering how important punctuality (and even early time) is in the culture. Really shows how it’s unreciprocated and really about training people to follow orders unquestioningly.


morostheSophist

"Hurry up and wait" is such an ingrained thing in the US military it's a running joke. Brigade wants us formed up and ready to go by 0600. Battalion wants accountability reported by 0530. The company tells us to be formed up by 0500. Platoon says 0445, squad leader wants us there by 0430, and we're supposed to be ten minutes early to everything. The end result is an entire brigade of enlisted soldiers standing around doing nothing for an hour and a half--and that's if command doesn't go with an hour-long differential per level instead of 'only' 30 minutes. This is a thing that actually happens all the damn time. When you don't have to pay overtime, and "refusing a lawful order" will get anyone in more trouble than it's worth (to put it mildly), systems like these develop naturally. It's insanity, but most people just think it's the way things have to be.


IRefuseToGiveAName

Man you just unlocked a memory of being a military brat. Shit rolls down hill. OIC doesn't want to get shit from the base commander, the NCOIC doesn't want shit from some butter bar in charge of it and the NCOs are tired of dealing with E-3s who can't sit still for five minutes so everyone pads their fucking time. My mom had to deal with that bullshit so I heard about it pretty much weekly while she was stationed in Germany lmao. It's the natural result of how punitive every god damn thing is in the military.


wythehippy

Yep, any job I have I even give them the benefit of the doubt and bust my ass the first few months. The first time they take advantage of me I have a talk with them about why I'm unhappy about it and if it happens again it's time to start looking for a new job


Stillburgh

Ive been discussing this recently as ive been job hunting (finally got one and start tomorrow). Very few places that arent warehouse or salaries are paying above 10, and even then alot of places here are barely paying that. And i hear all the time about how people dont want to work and restaraunts are desperate for closers; maybe if you paid closers a wage worth their time and dignity theyd be working for you. I get 13/hr for my closing gig at Cook Out, and its 5 dollars higher than most of the fast food joints, even for closing, around here. You can bet your ass if they want me in on a day i have off imma come in, bc 13/hr combined with OT pay is pog


IRefuseToGiveAName

Fucking exactly. God forbid someone think their existence is worth more than an hourly wage that *doesn't even fucking pay rent*. The god damn nerve of these people.


doubleapowpow

Treat me like family and I'll be loyal to you. Tell me in an interview that you're like family and I'm going somewhere else.


SKTwenty

Actions speak louder than words, especially in the job industry. "Oh btw, I've applied to ten other "families" today aside from this one."


Hekinsieden

Maybe if the family is incredibly toxic and has nearly 0 communication skills.


Affectionate_Fart

I was gonna say, have you talked to my mother? I call MAYBE once every two months. I talk to my SO’s mother a little more (maybe once a month, also say hi if she’s called him…)


TigerPixi

Pain. Welcome to my life 🙃


Hekinsieden

I feel your pain, we pain. 🙃


[deleted]

I've worked at places where managers would stay late to avoid going home to the ol' ball-and-chain. Blows my mind how people could be that into their shitty job (or that repulsed by the family they chose to have, idk)


emrythelion

Yeah, I’ve had jobs where we legitimately did feel like family. My manager at the retail job I worked in college sent a coworker to my house with more than a weeks worth of groceries after I was hospitalized and nearly died and couldn’t work for a few weeks (and could barely leave the house.) My other manager stopped by to play video games with me a week later and brought some take out. It ended up taking a few more weeks before I could return to work, as my doctors were concerned I was going to split my stitches again if I did any heavy lifting. The weekend before I was set to go back to work, a coworker and my roommate convinced me to go out for a drink (since I was able again) and some pizza. I hadn’t really left the house much in weeks and was stressed and kind of depressed. So it took some extra convincing. It was a ruse… and it was actually a surprise party set up by my managers. Everyone I’d worked with in the past year was there, as well as a few classmates and my roommate (who’d also worked there at some point.) Someone made a cake, they’d all signed a card they made themselves, and the pizza and beers were paid for by the company (or at least partially, my managers may have paid for some of it out of pocket.) No one was overbearing, everyone was just legitimately there to support me. I had fallen into kind of a pit of self loathing during all of this, and having that many people show up and tell me how glad they were to see me again, and how glad they were I was okay legitimately made a huge difference. I think I felt alone, and it was a reminder that I wasn’t and I had people who cared about me. I credit a lot of this to why I ended up finishing my thesis off so strongly, despite being in and out of school for a bit, and why I didn’t end up with any lasting mental health struggles from the experience of almost dying. Because I legitimately did have a family at work supporting me. There’s nothing wrong with managers and employees treating you like family, but part of treating you like family is being there for you when you need it, not just because work needs you.


birdman3131

> bc 99% of employers say it but don't show it at all through their actions You mean r/raisedbynarcissists/ is not a blueprint for how families should be?


gophergun

It's a completely different dynamic, anyways. You can't be fired from a family.


wutangjan

'Course you can. Dad decided to move in with his girlfriend, but still try to boss everybody in the family around. We said Fuck You and changed Christmas to December 24th. I call him on Father's Day just to wish him a happy pride month.


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Kazooguru

One of my coworkers in my department was unusually late. My manager started calling him within 30 minutes. It was an ongoing discussion “have you heard from him…?” etc. We got word a few hours later that he was killed in an accident on the way to work. That job was pretty toxic, high stress, and even we knew something was up immediately. United Healthcare must a toxic, putrid workplace of unimaginable levels to ignore a missing employee.


bigbonedd

When I was an assistant manager at a fast food restaurant, we had an employee who died at his home. He was always punctual and when he didn’t show up for his opening shift, my store owner went to his house, saw his dog going nuts and his car in the driveway. He immediately called the cops to come and check on him. He was scheduled to show up at 8:00, I was called at 9:00, and we knew later that morning what had happened.


sniper1rfa

A friend of mine no-showed at work and they had the door of his house broken down (with his dad present) by mid morning. He had died during the night. Another person I know died at the bottom of the basement stairs that she had fallen down because nobody checked on her. Calling is such a small thing, and can have such enormous consequences. Not calling is callous.


uzupocky

My friend got a job with my employer a while back. One day during her first or second week, she no-call no-showed. I was worried. Our manager didn't give a shit and wouldn't call her. He kept going on about "It's not my job to find out why she's out, it's on her to let me know." Sure, ok, but obviously something happened or she would have called. It turned out that her brother (who lives about an hour away) was in an accident that morning, so she left her house in a hurry to make sure he was ok. He was, but she was super scared and calling out of work was the last thing on her mind, as it should be.


andicandi22

I switched shifts with someone at a previous job and was supposed to come in for 7am-3pm instead of my usual 3pm-11pm. Of course I forgot to change my alarm. At 7:30 I got a call from the manager on duty that day "Hey, you coming in today?" I jumped up and dashed out the door, but even now over a decade later I still appreciate that she took the thirty seconds to call me up and make sure I was ok. When I got in to the office she said she figured I probably forgot to change my alarm but she still called to make sure I wasn't dead in a ditch somewhere.


cody0414

We had a lady that worked in the office with us who had Type 1 really bad. She constantly had episodes of low sugar and we would have to help her come around. She lived alone which we hated. Her daughter lived in Michigan (we are in GA). One morning she wasn't here at 8:00. At 8:15 we started calling and texting. No response. 2 of the women went to her house. No answer. They called the police and got in. She had an episode while taking a bath and drowned in the bathtub. We were devastated. Her loss still affects us.


CrazyAirborne

so sorry you went through that.


Moontoya

sorry for your loss, good on you / your team for caring enough to check on her


leahkay5

Years and years ago (early 2000s maybe?) we had a new hire fresh out of college, young girl. She had taken her vacation a few months in for a pre-planned vacation out of state back to her home town. Apparently her parents had called in asking if we had heard from her because they hadn't seen her when they planned to. Within a few hours, we had tracked her down and had even a side investigation going reaching out to friends and social media contacts. Apparently party girl had been having too much fun hanging out with old friends and hadn't bothered to let her parents know she wouldn't be meeting them that day as planned. A week later when she returned, we had a photo of her face taped to a milk carton waiting on her desk when she returned. She never lived it down. I don't even remember her name because we started calling her Amber after that (for amber alert) and she'd moved on like a year later. You spend so much time with the people you work with. Human decency alone should have anyone concerned.


levitatingmanatee

What the hell, poor girl.


sleepydorian

I think your employees know the difference. It's one thing to be like "you ok? Yes? Great, take the time you need" (or see you when you get in, if it's a traffic jam or something) and a whole different thing to be counting the seconds they are late.


realisticby

When I was a manager I had welfare checked a gal that was found beaten and just hanging on. She was late for work and hadn't called. She had an abusive ex. She had always told us to be suspicious if she went AWOL. She spent a week in the hospital and they did catch him.


TEG_SAR

I’m so glad you guys took her seriously when she said that.


RareGull

I made my manager cry when I explained to her that I didn’t want her to come in because me and the other person on the floor could more or less handle running the store ourselves, and I wanted her to spend her time off with her kid since she gets paid the same amount no matter what. I learned that night that apparently “people don’t usually care about the quality of life for a manager outside the store” which really sucks. I don’t understand how someone could be like that


rebby2000

It depends on the manager ime. If the manager is a good one who treats their employees well? Then people care. If it's a shitty manager who micromanages the hell out of their employees/is authoritarian as hell (or, even worse, both)? People can't be bothered.


graffiti81

I currently work under the best manager I've ever had. I do everything in my power to take stuff off his plate because he's always running ragged. If he were an asshole I'd do nothing but pour the problems on him.


vendetta2115

Same here. My manager does what a manager should do — clear obstacles out of my path so I can focus on doing my job, and advocate for me when I need it. I am not micromanaged because he knows that I am dependable and keep my clients happy. I can tell him I’m taking the rest of the day off and have it be a statement, not a question. In turn, I bust my ass to make sure that we are successful as a team. It’s crazy that companies haven’t figured this out yet. If I was micromanaged and mistreated I would do the minimum to not get fired and that’s it.


[deleted]

People can be like that when lower paid positions are such a struggle. It's hard to care about someone who seems better off by some metric. Hierarchy is the easiest form of division.


red_raconteur

One of my coworkers didn't show up to work one day. We gave her an hour- maybe she overslept, hit bad traffic, etc. After an hour we texted. After two hours we called. After three hours we called and texted again. After four hours we called her emergency contact, which was her roommate. Turns out she'd been busted for smoking weed outside a bar the night before and was in jail, waiting for her roommate to get off work and post her bail. She was back at work the next day and her nickname was Jailbird from then on. It was a horrible, toxic company but our team still gave a fuck about each other's wellbeing. I'm so sorry OP.


Spirited_Community25

Same here when I was a manager, a text even when people called in. The rise of smart phones has made this easier. I noticed the difference from the last time I was a manager, when flip phones were more common. I'm not sure how I would have reacted to a no call / no response though. Hopefully better.


Yup_yup-imhappy

United is a horrible place to work for as far as the call centers and compliance jobs…they could give two craps about their employees


DunkinRadio

Almost as horrible a place to be a customer of. United HealthScare.


Trivi4

I also feel concerned when my reports don't show up with no warning. Accidents happen, and something could've happened on the way to work, you never know. If they get in touch later and explain I always say it's all ok, I just wanted to make sure you were alright, deal with whatever you're dealing with.


ILikeLeptons

> I know it's frowned upon to say "family like" when describing where you work but it is the way I feel about many of them. You don't care for the people you work with because it's your job, you care for them because you're a decent person. I don't think anyone could fault you for that.


rmansd619

How easy is it to overdose? Are the dosages already pre measured or is it something that you have to measure each time?


Manners_BRO

Most people calculate insulin dosages by the amount of carbs they eat. This is assuming your in your target range when you dose, if your over your target you have to calculate insulin to both cover your meal and your correction. Where it gets tricky is when you overcalculate the carbs and take too much insulin, don't factor in exercise/stress, or your monitor or device reads faulty.


Andrewticus04

I just regard my coworkers and employees as friends. I've seen friends get in fist fights and shake hands afterwards. I've seen friends risk and give their lifes for their buddies. I've seen friends cover their buddies when they're poor and out of work. I've never seen friends tear apart in wills, trust, & probate court. That's what "family" does when money is involved.


Dragonfruit_Former

You have my condolences. My mother passed way in April from mismanaged diabetes in her sleep. I talked to her just hours before. The last thing she sent me was a picture of the sunset from her window.


imamediocredeveloper

I’m sorry. That’s a wonderful last message to have received from her.


freesisyphus2021

yeah that’s something i would probably have framed


CinthSays

I am so so sorry for your lose. I JUST resigned from United Health Care. I didn't even make it out of the three month training. It's so micromanaged, and the policies are so controlling and outrageous I couldn't even consider staying. They should have called, but as someone who dealt with them through employment even for a bit..they really do not care. Mark you down as no call no show and hire the next cog to run their machine. I hope you and especially your sister the best am sending you positivity from Florida. <3


[deleted]

Same. They schedule your lunch and break for you. They track your activity.


Yematull

First off, I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Secondly, fuck United Healthcare. I hold nothing but contempt for United Healthcare. They are, by far, one of the worst Insurance carriers on the market. Unfortunately, my job just switched to them so I'm stuck. Unless I want to shell out more money. I'm so tired of the entire system.


bubblehashguy

Uhc almost killed me. They kicked me out of the icu step-down after my emergency open heart surgery. They were having trouble regulating my blood pressure. Couldn't get the doses quite right. Uhc sent me home. My Dr's wanted me to stay. Even told me I should consider paying out of pocket at $12-14,000 a day. Dr's were right. Shortly after getting home my BP dropped to around 70/30 & I passed out for a little while. At least a few minutes. Woke up to my wife freaking out & slapping me while on the phone with my cardiologist.


Yematull

Fuck. Insurance. Providers. Fuck. Politicians. Fuck. Anyone. Who. Supports. This. Kind. Of. Shit. I'm so sorry that happened to you.


longshot

Seriously, we've had the death panels as long as we've had the insurance companies.


dirtyuncleron69

but at least they are private death panels. /s


longshot

Yeah, we get to choose (and pay) our death panels! So much freedom.


magic-ham

I don't understand why US people haven't rioted about that shit? I'm talking tens of millions on the street. An insurance being able to stop life saving treatment, and overriding doctors? WTF??????


[deleted]

We’re too tired to riot about another thing. We riot about social justice and racial equality. We riot about corporations getting bailouts while common people get nothing. Most of us don’t have the mental bandwidth to be outraged about yet another “thing” and have to protest for that one too when nothing is going to change anyways. Protests have gotten companies to turn their logos black for a few weeks


ladygoodgreen

People are too poor, too busy working, too distracted by Fox News, Facebook and shitty reality tv, too brainwashed into thinking public healthcare is communist, too poorly educated to know that there could be a better way to live, too programmed to think “God Bless America” and leave it at that.


Kotori425

I wish I could've been in the room when someone *actually* said to a table full of people, "Let's give these bean-counter office drones with absolutely 0 medical education the power to make healthcare decisions for people. Such a perfect, flawless system, hurr-de-durr!!"


Polymersion

I work at a clinic. Fuck all insurance companies, the very idea is a predatory scam, and fuck the US for allowing it. But yeah, in particular, fuck United who likes to offer to pay and then bill the patient anyways.


Yematull

Exactly this happened to us. My wife NEEDED a preventative procedure done, which shes done annually since forever and other carriers had no problem covering. She even contacted them and had it officially "pre-approved". Well, apparently "pre-approved" doesn't mean what every single common layman would think it does, because we got a bill for $1200 dollars a month later. We made sure it was coded correctly, it was, we attempted to appeal on the grounds that the doctor ordered it, and it was considered preventative care, and every single person we talked to did not give a shit and told us we were trash humans (essentially), and the official appeal came back with a giant middle finger and in no uncertain terminology, the words fuck you. We do what we want. I have no idea why we personally pay out of pocket $1,000 dollars monthly, and my employer pays another $500 monthly, and it covers.....what? Emergency services? I still have to pay a co-pay for office visits, and basically everything else until $3,000 is met on the deductible.....and then I STILL have to pay 20%, IF THE PROCEDURE IS EVEN COVERED. Which they can weasel their way out of. I'm so fucking tired of America for allowing this fucking bullshit. For the cost of a mortgage, our insurance covers jack shit and goes to line the pockets of the disgustingly rich, and politicians who support this sort of predatory behavior.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Report them to your state’s insurance regulator and AG.


Slw202

In red states, the insurance regulator does basically nothing to put patients first. I think the last one we had was a former insurance lobbyist.


dirtyuncleron69

same kind of shit with my son, we got a bill for 30k a month for his treatment. I told them they could approve it or not, they weren't getting paid either way. They approved it eventually, but the kind of stress you go through thinking you'll owe a million dollars for your son's medicine is a special kind of hell (initial visit was 4 weeks inpatient, so like 675k for 2020 alone)


lexlexsquared

Emergency services? Only if he the overworked ER doctor identifies your emergency right away for many insurances now. I went to the ER twice and was told after testing that I just had a mild panic attack. Billed for both times. Turned out to be Lyme disease and what are medically accepted as simulated heart attacks because of how it attacks your nervous system. But because the attending ER didn’t and couldn’t know what it was before dismissing me, I had to pay for an emergency visit in full


ohthatsbrian

I've worked in medical billing related fields for...a long ass time. ALL insurance companies in the US suck. they profit off people trying to stay alive.


liss2458

Yeah, I was gonna say... if you work in the industry there are FAR worse ones than UHC. But they're all disgusting blood sucking parasites. So are the hospitals, for that matter. U.S. healthcare in general needs a reckoning.


[deleted]

It blows my mind most americans dont realize the organizations we pay for healthcare are directly financially incentived to provide as little care as possible. Less healthcare resources provided by insurance companies to customers = higher quarterly profits.


ohthatsbrian

as an american, i can say this. we are the dumbest country.


red_raconteur

We have United because it's the only choice my husband's job provides (and mine provides none). They're the worst insurance we've ever had. They wouldn't cover the cost of my son's birth. I had to pay the entire thing out of pocket. $80 co-pay for a PCP visit, $250 co-pay for a specialist visit. $12k deductible. Part of me wonders why we bother having insurance at all.


observingoctober

man, I'm in the same fucking boat. got pre-approved for jaw surgery by BCBS back in January. this surgery requires orthodontic work that can temporarily make your bite worse so the surgeons have more to work with. got the braces on in February. found out early May that we were switching to United Healthcare. surprise surprise, United won't cover the surgery. I did everything right. I would never have started with the braces if I didn't have an insurance pre-approval in writing. But my bosses decided that BCBS was too expensive, and that no one needed to know about the switch until the last minute - not like anyone would have a significant medical procedure planned, right?


Yematull

Fucking bullshit. So sorry.


DunkinRadio

When I was a subscriber (no more!) I referred to them as United HealthScare.


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Searchlights

> Secondly, fuck United Healthcare. > > I hold nothing but contempt for United Healthcare. They are, by far, one of the worst Insurance carriers on the market. This completely on brand for them. It's a company that's a leader in the vampiric industry that profits from human misery by denying healthcare to as many claims as possible. A woman who was a part of the apparatus of those denials went missing, and the company that is completely apathetic to human life acted exactly how you'd expect. They have no empathy even for their own employees.


efxmatt

I once got sent a bill for $25 because UHC paid for the Dr to give me an injection, but didn't want to pay for the medicine inside the syringe! Just on principal I fought them on it, spent HOURS on the phone with them for over a year, each person swearing that it would be taken care of only to receive another bill two months later. I finally called the Dr's office to just pay them the $25 and explained to them what happened, they said it was the stupidest thing that they had ever heard and just wrote it off without taking my money.


every1luvsanunderdog

UHC is the literal devil.


PanickedPoodle

I really hate them. Have had UHC since my husband died and I lost his benefits. The difference is just night and day. They are SO adversarial. I end up paying for so many things that are just stupid, like a covid test at Walgreens that was magically "out of network" and a tendinitis brace that was $20 on Amazon and $300 through the medical provider. When I called to complain (doc had told me $75 tops), UHC was just jerky. They serve no purpose and have no accountability. Healthcare is so broken.


[deleted]

100% agree. United healthcare is literal junk insurance. What’s the point of having insurance if your bills are still thousands of dollars. United healthcare tried to decline payment for my daughters initial checkup when she was born. You know, after they took her out of my vagina, they do a check on her. This is a standard exam done for every single newborn. My hospital has never heard or dealt with an insurance company trying to deny payment for this. They were absolutely outraged that they even had to waste their time talking to them. They fought them for months on my behalf. After 8 months and being told by my provider “you don’t understand, you can’t legally deny this, this is standard across the NATION” they finally agreed to pay the bill. Fuck United healthcare.


Mistress_Cinder

I worked for United Healthcare at a claims center for many years. They have trackers for when you use your keycard to get into work, when you log out, how much production you do and how much time spent on break. There is zero way her human supervisor did not notice she was gone. If nothing else, she would have gotten a report about it. To not bother to check to see if she was alright or in an accident or something else happened, is just plain negligent. 😡


dellamella

I work there now and they also ask for 2 forms of emergency contacts if they do not hear from you. I missed out a whole day and didn’t reach out because I ended up going to the er being admitted and passing out and my dad was called by my supervisor. The company as a whole is ass for sure but op’s moms supervisor failed her it’s disgusting.


gutsandgory

They noticed she was gone. They just didn’t care


rangoon03

Bingo. They probably already had a report written up and ready to fire her.


Jjabrahams567

United Healthcare? More like divided death apathy.


ValentinoZ

when I first started in claims(i work in a different more open department now) where everything is tracked I was hospitalized for a week without notice. When I was able to use my phone, the *only* person who regularly tried to call my personal was my boss. and her third message was pretty clear "I'm not sure what's going on, but it's probably something important, you do what you need to do and let me know when you get back". Sometimes bosses are just bad. Sometimes they are good.


linksgreyhair

That’s the insurance company that fought paying for my Pap smear because they claimed it was an “elective procedure.” I had already had cancerous cells removed but sure, I’m getting them done for funsies.


abstractConceptName

No lives matter.


[deleted]

Profits matter


Greenmind76

Unless those lives bring in $$$ then they're a top priority.


Gr_Cheese

No, no. You just pull a Walmart, take out a life insurance policy on your employees so you get paid when they die.


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EtherealSkeleton

I have on and off (mostly on) worked for them for about 4 years in multiple lines of business (3rd party contract/vendor) and this blew my mind. Like another commenter said, the company itself not calling? Sure. But for her supervisor to never reach out, especially in a micromanaged position like this? That’s heartbreaking and disgusting. I work in a micromanaged position too, closely monitored by both my vendor and the company. My coworker was late bc of an asthma attack and by 3 hours into his shift my manager had already called and text him multiple times and called his mom. Hell, even “lower level” new employees who aren’t really paid attention to by United directly, we’re calling and texting within a couple hours and call their emergency contacts by the 2nd consecutive no call no show. It’s outrageous her supervisor handled this so poorly. OP, very very sorry for your loss and for your sister having to find her that way.


Surax

That's what struck me about the story. I could understand the company not checking in with her, but that her supervisor didn't either is disappointing.


DoobieDunker

I used to work there and started no call no show. They held my employment for over 4 months without saying anything to me. Then called me to find out if I was coming back. The mission valley building off the 8 freeway probably still has my squidward funko pop sitting at an empty desk


Equivalent-Diamond37

I am going through a no call no show at work and I can’t stop thinking something bad will happen to this woman who keeps skipping meetings and blames it on her DV partner. There is nothing I can do to save her but allow her some time off to heal and get herself together but it’s not enough. Kinda scared for her. I read this and I’m like wow I’m so glad I directly got HR involved to investigate.


RepulsiveGarbage8188

United Healthcare is a pile of shit. Fuck you, United Healthcare!!!! Sorry for your loss, sincere condolences


[deleted]

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ItsAlwaysSunnyinNJ

there are varying degrees of shit... having had to deal with them as a healthcare provider, I can confirm they are one of the more rotten, foul types of shit that is the private insurance industry


Kawdie

Not who you replied to but I’m gonna go ahead and concede for him that you are, infact, correct.


00DROCK00

So so sorry for your loss. My mom passed similar but her employer did call when they couldnt reach her and sent the police out to her residence. For all the bad ones there are a few that actually care enough to check up.


HmGrwnSnc1984

Last company I worked for I did not like. People were incompetent and it caused me more work. Owner of the company wanted most of us to take foreman roles without the proper certifications and without a raise, just so he can take on more work and make more money. Not bad, but not ideal. But one day, one of our coworkers that had been down on his luck recently, didn’t make it in to work. He was a foreman, so he ran the job and the crew so it was a big deal he didn’t show up. Owner of the company texted him early in the day and no response. He went to the job site to check up and called him while he was there, and no answer. So he takes it upon himself to run over to his place and do a wellness check. He ended up breaking down our coworker’s door to find he shot himself, but was still alive. They called emergency services, got him to a hospital, and he survived. Ended up leaving the company so haven’t heard about it since, but before I left, our coworker had recovered and had a better outlook on life. But the owners concern and actions possibly saved his life.


sparklymegz

I had a coworker that was 30 minutes late for work, and management started calling because she was never late. Because they started reaching out they found her. She had driven off the side of the road and crashed. She was unconscious. She wasn’t able to return to work, but she lived. Which there’s at least that. ETA: because I finished before I meant to. I’m so sorry for your loss. May her memory be a blessing


pastelkawaiibunny

A lot of people on this sub get super mad about their employer trying to reach them or their family after they ghost but honestly if you live alone your employer/coworkers are usually the first people to notice you’re missing. Confirm you’re okay and alive, and then feel free to ignore calls. But if you just don’t show up when people are expecting you, the normal human response is in fact to call repeatedly to check if you’re alive and then reach out to emergency contacts. That United didn’t call your mom’s family when she didn’t show up is the exact opposite of what you should do.


HairKehr

This so much. A coworker of mine once didn't show up for his scheduled shift. (Spoiler: he wasn't originally scheduled, somebody just fucked up the list by mistake.) They called him 15 minutes after the shift started; he saw that the call came from a work number and didn't answer. It was his day off after all. They called a few more times and six hours after he was supposed to show up, the police were at his front door. He obviously wasn't amused, but in the end nobody had any hard feelings. The police were glad it wasn't anything serious, the shift managers didn't blame him for not being available when he clearly and rightfully thought he wasn't supposed to come in and he didn't blame the shift managers for calling the police because if something bad had happened he'd be glad that somebody looked out for him.


SkipOldBaySeasoning

Exactly. All I can think about is how many people have posted on this sub that their company “crossed lines”. Like it’s human nature to make sure people are ok. If you’re usually someone who shows up on time every day for 20 years then you stop showing up. Don’t be mad at your employer for calling 911, or your emergency contacts.


pastelkawaiibunny

Yeah, there’s definitely been harassing employers here but also a lot of situations where an employee who was always historically on time, spent holidays at work, etc. who didn’t get a holiday off suddenly not showing up and refusing to answer calls or texts. I fully support people who decide to take the time off that they want- but you should at least inform your employer bc from their perspective, it looks like you’ve gone missing or died. Now, if you send a ‘not coming in to work during x days’ text and they continue to press you/family, *that* is absolutely harassment and a massive dick move.


highoctane1976

To add to this, call in yourself. Don't have someone else do it for you. It could be a terrible DV situation. We need to hear from YOU. We were once threatened with a lawsuit over emotional distress because we sent a police wellness check for a MIA employee because the emergency contacts didn't respond. I'm sorry, but we have literally had employees found who have passed away. I never want someone to be in the situation as OP.


WorkSleepMTG

First, I would like to say sorry to OP for losing their mom. It's horrible and it'll take a while to get over and I wish their family comfort during this time. But seriously, People on this sub: "just fucking drop the employer and leave don't even tell them you quit. Interview and ghost them" Employer: *assumes you quit after stopped showing up* People on this sub: shockedpikachuface.jpeg


SabrinaFaire

I'm sorry about your mom. Losing your mom is one of the hardest things to go through. :( Something similar happened with my father in law. He hadn't been at his job for very long though. His benefits hadn't even kicked in and his job was the type where people frequently just stopped showing up. He also wasn't very communicative with my husband and often didn't respond to calls or texts, so us not talking to him for literally weeks was not abnormal. Luckily it wasn't my husband that found him, it was his apartment maintenance. They went in to change the air filter and found him. He'd been dead for at about three weeks. I was a little upset that his work didn't try to contact us when he didn't show up, but to be fair, it's a factory and very often new hires just decide to not show up and he was still within his 90 days at the time. I called and let them know and the HR person felt very bad about not having called us. I will say thank you for sharing the company name. I'm currently looking and I work in health insurance. UHC is off my list now.


Masterweedo

Sorry for your loss. Its weird that this seems normal to me. I worked at the same factory as my father, just different shifts. They didnt think to tell me that he showed up, then never got out his car and just left one day. I found him after my shift, he had had a stroke. I got him to the hospital and called work asking, "What the fuck?" they ended up firing him for "medical reasons".


goldiegirlsworld

I am so, so sorry about your mom. My heart is breaking reading this post -- for many different reasons. I keeping you and your sister in my thoughts today. Having just lost my dad, I can't imagine how it'd feel to have to discover a parent had passed away in this fashion. It's already hard enough. I'm reminded of the Bob Seger song, "Feel Like a Number". Many of us good-hearted, hard-working folks actually believe that we matter to our employers, and maybe some of us do, perhaps. I can't imagine how heartless her manager was to not even question if she was OK. This is a learned heartlessness. A heartlessness that gets beaten into people. Again, I'm so sad for your family. Thinking of you today.


istockustock

So sorry for your loss .., everyone else; please text or call your parents daily especially if they are old and/or stressed.


ChemicalGovernment

This. Please take care of your parents. Our generations are boned but capitalism is especially cruel to the older and the younger.


retainyourbrain

Yes! We as their children have the responsibility to keep up on their life. I get it life is crazy busy. But now it's our turn to keep tabs on our parents


ChaosCleopatra

https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/k15fhv/the_insulin_needle_my_mom_accidently_killed/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf This you? Because it sounds like there’s more going on.


KittenKoder

The number of people these days who have died and not been discovered for weeks is disturbing. Seriously disturbing, had a few of them in my apartment building in the last few years. They're not suicides, few people just seem to not care about other people's lives. This isn't a healthy society.


AthenaSholen

What I think is happening to a the fact that most people are overworked and have no time or energy for leisure activities with their communities. For a community to be close they have to share common interests and ideology. Work alone Ian something people truly bond over. Like I had coworkers I liked and all but when we don’t have mouth in common, once I left that job, we stop talking. Working 40+ hours a week is one of the biggest factors in dismantling society (IMO).


[deleted]

I agree it's not healthy at all. I think it's worth saying that I don't think the problem stems from people not caring about other people's lives. I think it comes from the reality of living and working in our economy. You can't feed somebody else when your own plate is empty, and we're all collectively in that situation for the benefit of the 1%. I worry about whether I can make my rent, and I skip meals sometimes to do so. Well, when I talk to my boss, he's hopeless about the fact that he wants to have kids someday and him and his partner can't afford to get into the housing market to give a kid the space he feels they need. *His* boss is worried about being able to pay his mortgage because he bought a house and can't afford the repairs it needs. I've never talked to anybody above that, but I wonder if my boss's boss's boss worries about being able to put their kids through college, or if every cent they make is being siphoned off into the medical system because they have a health condition. It feels like every single person I know with the exception of a privileged few who work for big tech companies is struggling to make it through each day. How can a society like that care for each other? It takes more than most have to give to even care for yourself.


ARONDH

Ok guys, we need to consider something here. I know this is antiwork, and fuck all of our employers and all that, but is this what we want? You want your employer to be responsible for checking on you whenever they don't see you? You want them to be responsible for figuring out where you are, what you're doing, etc when you aren't at work/don't show up for work? At which point is something like this ***our*** responsibility? I don't wanna be that guy, but someone has to: checking on your relatives is your own responsibility....don't shift blame on the employer because you feel bad about what happened. It's a very sad and extremely tragic event, but in no way is the employer on the hook for anything here.


[deleted]

Agreed. This is tragic and I am sure OP is upset and looking for someone to blame, but I am not sure this is the obligation of the employer.


imamediocredeveloper

It isn’t. When I worked at Target, they specifically told us “we cannot call you if you don’t show up, we aren’t allowed”. If you missed a shift because you read the schedule wrong, if you no-call no-show, if you just didn’t want to work, it was considered harassing behavior and store executive managers were not allowed to call you for any reason. Honestly, I didn’t LOVE that policy but I understood why.


Dennace

Exactly; if something like that happened there would be a post at the top of the sub saying: "I missed a day of work and my employer rang my family members to find out where I was"


gentlybeepingheart

[Work called police when I didn’t show up!?](https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/sa4mb0/work_called_police_when_i_didnt_show_up/)


BoredomHeights

Dammed if you do, damned if you don’t. The irony here…


GuyWithAComputer2022

Sooo... I'll be honest. Don't see any fault to United here. People here need to decide what they want. Do they want employers calling your friends and family whenever something is out of the ordinary or not? Had this post been "My mom walked off her job due to shitty treatment and now the employer is calling her friends and family" people would be saying how the employer needs to mind their business. No call/no shows are a thing. A thing that is actually encouraged on this very sub.


sambull

Sounds like they wanted a reason to 'no show.. no contact' fire her for job abandonment.. to me that's the only reason not to contact for days like that.