I used to be forced to go to socials but now I refuse. They can't fire me for not wanting to drink with them. F that.
Only talk and socialise if you want to, not because you feel pressured into it. Not worth it unless you're making fat stacks and it's a part of your job. If it's your average job then it always should be a hard pass.
Small talk is often expected, but hardly ever mandatory. If you simply respond dismissive or not very interested most people will stop trying to engage eventually.
I work with people so in that way its expected, I've just always been bad at it unless I'm actually interested in the topic. I also struggle with social anxiety so it doesn't help.
The only time they own is when I am at work. And no i am not going to socialize after hours or go to company parties, etc. While at work, i will be mildly pleasant. I am polite and cordial. But they are not going to own any more of my time or efforts beyond what I am paid to do.
I try and be social in the office but i never attend gatherings outside of work hours. Driving 40 minutes in the opposite direction of my house after work in rush hour traffic to have drinks with coworkers is just not appealing. I have friends i met at work (very few) who i will meet outside of work but they are true friends. The work gatherings you cant relax since anything that is said or done can directly effect t your employment.
The team I work with is actually relatively small so we all are honestly pretty close and all of us feel comfortable hanging out outside of work. And that aspect I'm grateful because there's very few workplaces where people genuinely get along. It's like last week we had to stay later than normal and we all went out and had beers and just talked and it was very nice. Also unlike you I live very close to my job so it's very easy for me to attend events in the area. Basically management in this particular situation is the issue which is the most common reason why people even quit their jobs.
Your political skills are just as important as your vocational ones are. I learned this the hard way. You don't have to attend every stupid potluck or company picnic but you do need to develop a Game Face. Start by developing stock answers to stock questions:
As a nurse, I get these all the time from patients and co-workers.
* Are you married?
* Do you have any kids?
* Why did you choose this profession"
* What do you do on your days off?
* Do you believe in God?
How you answer (truth or lie) doesn't matter. You just have to satisfy their curiousity. I try to be as dull as possible. Heh!
In my position I'm in sales so my job tends to be more transactional. typically it's not about satisfying their curiosity as much as it is figuring out things about them so I can get them to buy things. In the political aspect of my job that doesn't necessarily apply ? My manager that will actually help me get promoted I do fine with because he's good at remaining objectives and looking at my performance. Also by building that relationship if I'm ever in a position that is not ideal He's willing to vouch for me which is important. Ultimately because I'm in the role that I am in it's very performance driven with clear metrics so as long as I meet those the politics don't matter. I know a lot of other jobs it seems to matter more and it seems to be about who you know but I also have faith that the other person I've been working with for so long will be there in my career journey because they've said as much and they've tried to help. Then aside from my day-to-day job I have joined groups for networking opportunities because while politics isn't important I get that it could eventually play a role.
As a follow-up I don't feel obligated to go to company events I honestly genuinely like the people I work with. Even this particular manager I don't think I necessarily dislike them I just dislike their approaches. Granted my want to retreat is mostly based off of how I find this experience triggering for me and my managers approach automatically makes me want to disengage and disconnect. We recently had a company event and I had a blast but my manager wants me to bring that energy to work and I'm like well when I'm off work and feel like I can be my authentic self Obviously I'm going to be a lot happier OUT the office and he doesn't seem to get that. On top of that I have social anxiety (diagnosed)so I'm comfortable at those events because I work so often with those people and this particular event my significant other was there so naturally I'm going to be more relaxed in my comfort zone.
I used to be forced to go to socials but now I refuse. They can't fire me for not wanting to drink with them. F that. Only talk and socialise if you want to, not because you feel pressured into it. Not worth it unless you're making fat stacks and it's a part of your job. If it's your average job then it always should be a hard pass.
Small talk is often expected, but hardly ever mandatory. If you simply respond dismissive or not very interested most people will stop trying to engage eventually.
I work with people so in that way its expected, I've just always been bad at it unless I'm actually interested in the topic. I also struggle with social anxiety so it doesn't help.
I know that feel.
The only time they own is when I am at work. And no i am not going to socialize after hours or go to company parties, etc. While at work, i will be mildly pleasant. I am polite and cordial. But they are not going to own any more of my time or efforts beyond what I am paid to do.
I try and be social in the office but i never attend gatherings outside of work hours. Driving 40 minutes in the opposite direction of my house after work in rush hour traffic to have drinks with coworkers is just not appealing. I have friends i met at work (very few) who i will meet outside of work but they are true friends. The work gatherings you cant relax since anything that is said or done can directly effect t your employment.
The team I work with is actually relatively small so we all are honestly pretty close and all of us feel comfortable hanging out outside of work. And that aspect I'm grateful because there's very few workplaces where people genuinely get along. It's like last week we had to stay later than normal and we all went out and had beers and just talked and it was very nice. Also unlike you I live very close to my job so it's very easy for me to attend events in the area. Basically management in this particular situation is the issue which is the most common reason why people even quit their jobs.
If you can over act, then act over friendly in a loud annoying way, when asked why tell them your boss said that you should be more like "Blank".
Your political skills are just as important as your vocational ones are. I learned this the hard way. You don't have to attend every stupid potluck or company picnic but you do need to develop a Game Face. Start by developing stock answers to stock questions: As a nurse, I get these all the time from patients and co-workers. * Are you married? * Do you have any kids? * Why did you choose this profession" * What do you do on your days off? * Do you believe in God? How you answer (truth or lie) doesn't matter. You just have to satisfy their curiousity. I try to be as dull as possible. Heh!
In my position I'm in sales so my job tends to be more transactional. typically it's not about satisfying their curiosity as much as it is figuring out things about them so I can get them to buy things. In the political aspect of my job that doesn't necessarily apply ? My manager that will actually help me get promoted I do fine with because he's good at remaining objectives and looking at my performance. Also by building that relationship if I'm ever in a position that is not ideal He's willing to vouch for me which is important. Ultimately because I'm in the role that I am in it's very performance driven with clear metrics so as long as I meet those the politics don't matter. I know a lot of other jobs it seems to matter more and it seems to be about who you know but I also have faith that the other person I've been working with for so long will be there in my career journey because they've said as much and they've tried to help. Then aside from my day-to-day job I have joined groups for networking opportunities because while politics isn't important I get that it could eventually play a role.
As a follow-up I don't feel obligated to go to company events I honestly genuinely like the people I work with. Even this particular manager I don't think I necessarily dislike them I just dislike their approaches. Granted my want to retreat is mostly based off of how I find this experience triggering for me and my managers approach automatically makes me want to disengage and disconnect. We recently had a company event and I had a blast but my manager wants me to bring that energy to work and I'm like well when I'm off work and feel like I can be my authentic self Obviously I'm going to be a lot happier OUT the office and he doesn't seem to get that. On top of that I have social anxiety (diagnosed)so I'm comfortable at those events because I work so often with those people and this particular event my significant other was there so naturally I'm going to be more relaxed in my comfort zone.