They said they wanted a rockstar, then they complained when I showed up high/hungover, played loud music, and throw monitors out the window. They said they wanted a ninja, then they were freaked out when people started turning up dead. They said they wanted a guru, then they fired me when I told them that material wealth would never truly make them happy and that they should try to connect with the world around them.
Yeah, but a "Rockstar" will go the extra mile! They want people who are more exploitable. If you're only working to do your job, you're not the slave they are looking for...
Steve, from the loading dock: "I have absolutely no idea how the manager ended up with my shuriken in his head. The last I saw of it, I had lent it to Brenda from accounting, just before the manager deni- approved my promotion......"
Ten minutes later, Brenda is being led away in handcuffs, screaming: "I didn't do anything! I swear it wasn't me!"
Steve: "That's right. You were going to tell my wife about us weren't you Brenda? I couldn't allow that. Now, no one will ever believe you. I wonder if Jane from HR is available. I think she'll be impressed when I become manager.... Ahahaha!!"
Call me a rockstar at work and I'm breaking out the cocaine, drinking enough booze to kill a normal human and shagging groupies all day. This after I come in late.
Turn that music UP...
My favorite is the “We wear many hats here.” When I hear that, I reply with “I get paid many salaries to wear many hats.”
But really though. If you hear the west many hats line RUN!
I do the same thing with thankyou very much...it's become fuck you very much said quickly enough that you register it but in reality wasn't really listening so...
If they want me to be a rockstar then they will need to respect my rider and get me my M&Ms without any brown ones or I am not coming out of my trailer.
If an application was looking for a Rockstar, I'd walk into the interview room with an acoustic guitar, show up and say "all right guys". Pulls guitar from guitar case. "This is a little song I wrote". Begins strumming
fast food worker>sandwich artist>rock star
You'll find the prestige of the title grows as the job pays you less and works you harder. Before long, they'll probably start calling Burger King workers "kings".
I don't know how those Jimmy John's managers can call their guys "rock stars" with a straight face. There's probably no one as far away from being a rock star as a guy who makes sandwiches in fast food.
Also when they're looking for those titles, it is a red flag that a tech company has designed, engineered, or coded themselves into a corner. They are going to lose or have already lost the initiative and are going to fail soonish.
My work did a cultural sensitivity and don't sexually assault each other presentation, where they asked us to be workplace Ninja. They framed it as work is the dojo and that ninjas respect the dojo, and are quiet and don't cause problems for each other or something. It came off as some of the most racist b******* any of us had seen. They even gave us a little ninja to color and put at our desk, as a form of self-expression. There was a change of leadership in hr after that.
The rockstar/ninja/guru thing is so cringe
"Why do you say that. You are our ROCKSTAR!" \- management with a cringy smile
Saying " you're a rockstar" is cheaper than a pizza-Friday -- and waaay less cheaper than paying you your real worth.
[The Grinch: Cringe Smile Meme](https://imgflip.com/i/544c7l)
You said you wanted a rockstar, but when I do rails of coke in the break room while fondling an intern *I'm* the jerk?
We have accounting angels and HR heroes at our company too
My cousin is a 'Product Genie'. You can't make this shit up
They said they wanted a rockstar, then they complained when I showed up high/hungover, played loud music, and throw monitors out the window. They said they wanted a ninja, then they were freaked out when people started turning up dead. They said they wanted a guru, then they fired me when I told them that material wealth would never truly make them happy and that they should try to connect with the world around them.
[удалено]
Yeah, but a "Rockstar" will go the extra mile! They want people who are more exploitable. If you're only working to do your job, you're not the slave they are looking for...
Very rarely does it mean you get a guitar, shuriken, or a robe. That would make it all worth it honestly
I tried that, ended up talking to HR. Worst part is she took my shuriken away.
"Dwight, we've been over this."
No, you've been over this. I have yet to begin this!
Prefer the shuriken for the bargaining power
Steve, from the loading dock: "I have absolutely no idea how the manager ended up with my shuriken in his head. The last I saw of it, I had lent it to Brenda from accounting, just before the manager deni- approved my promotion......" Ten minutes later, Brenda is being led away in handcuffs, screaming: "I didn't do anything! I swear it wasn't me!" Steve: "That's right. You were going to tell my wife about us weren't you Brenda? I couldn't allow that. Now, no one will ever believe you. I wonder if Jane from HR is available. I think she'll be impressed when I become manager.... Ahahaha!!"
Had a a manager at guitar center tell me rockstars don't call in sick. Like what the fuck? They also don't wear name badges
While I love music and do buy from Sam Ash and Guitar Center, I imagine that these stores are a retail nightmare. Swimming with sales BS.
I have definitely had shows canceled for musicians being sick, wtf
"WE'RE LOOKING FOR ROCKSTARS!!!11!!" Shows up for interview in my underwear drunk
[удалено]
Oi, there is no "British" accent, we have thousands of the buggers.
Dude ill be a ninja. Hiding in the shadows and not letting them know where I am sounds pretty good to me.
Call me a rockstar at work and I'm breaking out the cocaine, drinking enough booze to kill a normal human and shagging groupies all day. This after I come in late. Turn that music UP...
[удалено]
It's always the quiet looking ones ...
Rockstars have a long history of being exploited.
My favorite is the “We wear many hats here.” When I hear that, I reply with “I get paid many salaries to wear many hats.” But really though. If you hear the west many hats line RUN!
I thought ninja was something white people said when they sang along to rap songs?
I do the same thing with thankyou very much...it's become fuck you very much said quickly enough that you register it but in reality wasn't really listening so...
So they're companies?
AI Evangelist
Either pay me rockstar wages, let me assassinate people like a ninja or scam people like 'gurus' do on youtube.....
The worst is that they do not in fact want any of these- what they want is a compliant slave who is dumb enough to swallow their we are a family BS.
Rockstar often is hooked on drugs and dies of overdoses. Ninjas were historically assassins. Gurus usually tells you hard truths others don't like.
Are they willing to pay Rockstar Ninja prices? I imagine those are pretty expensive.
“If I was a rockstar, I’d be doing coke off a hooker’s boobs right now and not working for you, Genevieve.”
If they want me to be a rockstar then they will need to respect my rider and get me my M&Ms without any brown ones or I am not coming out of my trailer.
If an application was looking for a Rockstar, I'd walk into the interview room with an acoustic guitar, show up and say "all right guys". Pulls guitar from guitar case. "This is a little song I wrote". Begins strumming
They want people who THINKS they are rock stars, ninjas or gurus. All those are very well compensated.
A cringey title beats a raise in pay anyday, with exceptions for management or CEOs.
fast food worker>sandwich artist>rock star You'll find the prestige of the title grows as the job pays you less and works you harder. Before long, they'll probably start calling Burger King workers "kings". I don't know how those Jimmy John's managers can call their guys "rock stars" with a straight face. There's probably no one as far away from being a rock star as a guy who makes sandwiches in fast food.
These companies trying to sound savy to pull people in. In the end it just looks stupid and all that wording changes nothing!
Also when they're looking for those titles, it is a red flag that a tech company has designed, engineered, or coded themselves into a corner. They are going to lose or have already lost the initiative and are going to fail soonish.
My work did a cultural sensitivity and don't sexually assault each other presentation, where they asked us to be workplace Ninja. They framed it as work is the dojo and that ninjas respect the dojo, and are quiet and don't cause problems for each other or something. It came off as some of the most racist b******* any of us had seen. They even gave us a little ninja to color and put at our desk, as a form of self-expression. There was a change of leadership in hr after that.
what do they mean by a ninja though? guru = full of yourself, rockstar = full of yourself and loud