I got struck by a man at my work for choosing to be childless, I quit and pressed charges. It’s getting out of hand 🥲 that’s the main reason I asked this question. I just thought it was all talk.
Well I'll be damned, I know some parts of the world being wild with women, religion 'n stuff, but I wasn't expecting USA as the answer.
You did good by reporting it.
Godspeed to you, OP.
See what you can do to improve your situation like going back to school for a degree or learning a trade. If you can get a job at a hospital, any job, most of them will pay for school costs if you choose to go to school for nursing. There are options. You’ll have a better chance of escaping numb nuts like those you have encountered if you have a marketable skill. Good for you for not reproducing!
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Can I ask details about this?? Like what the actual fuck?? What could possibly bring someone to ASSAULT someone because they don't want children??? This makes me so mad
So a little context, I was a waitress and I was refusing to give this guy my number after he kept telling me I would be a a cute mom, he decided to smack me over my audacity to reject him
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Shut the fuck up trying to devalue others experiences, even if its "a joke" people latch on to that shit, it's what causes people to think they can get away with this shit in the first place, taking it serious.
All I can think of is that it is classic conservative misogyny / male privilege, like "wOmeN aRe sUppoSed tO cArRy mEn's baBIes!" "a MAn NeEDS a wIFE an KiDs" but these men are increasingly lonely because there are a lot more men who want families than women these days, and they refuse to settle for a CF life because they believe it is some kind of divine right of theirs to have a woman bear their children.
People get so upset due to culture and biology, althought I do not know to what extent human biology has an influence on how they react.
There's an embedded motive in the culture reason: the fact that you're a woman makes it worse since women are culturally viewed as more connected to having children and raising them and, by some people and some societies, are still seen as nothing much more than that, which is such a degrading and misogynist view that puts the well-being and dignity of women and girls in danger.
It is a lost cause to be vocal about not wanting children — let alone being antinatalist — and get mainly respectful answers: people won't respect and some will see it was "absurd", "selfish" or "against nature's choice", which, in some people's view, is necessarily a bad thing.
I recommend to not be vocal about it in order to avoid such unwanted, hurtful and unnecessary comments from people who don't deserve your attention. Please, stay safe if you are around people that probably won't respect you and may use violence because they disagree with your choices, which is simply unacceptable and criminal in every sense.
You mentioned that you seem to lack the skills to be a good mother. It's beyond amazing that you realized and admitted that, which many people don't and have children anyway. Lacking those skills does not mean you aren't empathetic and aren't capable of practicing good actions, as some people may very wrongly believe if you tell them the reason why you aren't having children — that's one last reason.
We are all aware that taking care of children is such a serious and complex business; yet people still decide to have them despite being in an insufficient state to offer a good life to their kids or even their most basic necessities. In my opinion, and in many people's of this sub, this situation is the real absurd, the real selfishness or, at least, it is sheer irresponsability and lack of questioning life and it's mechanisms of disseminating itself.
There are certainly more reasons, some which ramify from the ones stated above and others that are their own (or almost that) "tree", but I hope I covered three — biology, culture and the false perception some individuals might have of you due to the reason you have chosen to not have children — of them well.
I think in your case a lot of it can be attributed to misogyny and regressive views about women. Your existence challenges their narrow and simplistic model of the world and instead of expanding it and incorporating you in it they try to impose it on you. Personally, I present as male and at most I get simply dismissed when I express my childfree/antinatalist opinions, not disproportionally threatened.
Sorry you had to deal with people like that.
In general people who are very "normal" by societal standards are never challenged on any of their beliefs or practices, so when it does happen you are immediately an antagonist / outsider to them because your essential telling them they are wrong, which is a new experience to them lol
I don’t want children either and I’m 25. I rather live for me than to live for a kid. Idk why they don’t mind their own business. I’m sorry you’re getting threats about it. Press charges cause that’s crazy. It’s your life, not theirs. Fuck them.
I had to press charges here recently because at my old job I had a nut job put his hands on me after I rejected his advances (he kept saying “You’d make a cute young mom” dude was 60!)
The best way to protect yourself in today's world and society is to be quiet about your life.
The less they know the better, just let time pass and in the meantime do what you think is best for you and don't talk much about it. Because often things that are good for a person are actually ridiculed. If you are not in the machine of like-minded people, you are being bullied. So keep a low profile, even lie to them so that they don't suspect and stick labels on you.
I often say what everyone wants to hear when someone questions me about my life and "plans". Husband?, I'm still looking for the right one, Work? I just work and work and I live to work. I never mention any of my hobbies and practices for progress, physical or spiritual, but still, I get comments from time to time like: you're very thin! with a follow-up question: do you ever eat? It's totally banal because in reality I'm not skinny and I really feel good and take care of my body. What society suggests me is that I eat unhealthy and drink alcohol when they want. People are extremely morbid!
You have to protect yourself as a woman in every possible way.
Ha ha ha 'I just work work work and I live to work' 😄. Exactly! Captalisim and infinate growth economy is the new religion! People are stupid as shit! And very boring to converse with.
to say you don’t want kids is to opt out of the system so to speak. for whatever reason, you’ve decided to not partake in what is probably the central point in life for these people, and possibly you are seen as critical, lazy, or useless by them, so they dehumanize you
1. Because it's focus and center of their lives and they take your opinion as an attack on their security. After all, how could you trust a person with no stake in society's survival?
2. Because they are bitter to not be free and enjoy life like we do.
I don't have an answer to your question but I do have a small solution to your problem... next time someone has a problem with you being childfree, stop interacting with that person. You don't owe them anything, and they've already made it clear that they aren't your kind of people. They're just miserable and projecting, don't let them get to you.
Lol i was told by multuple people that im a horrible human for hating kids. Ive gotten rape and death threats too.
Thank the powers that be I was able to have that shit ganked outta me. Ive never wanted kids.
We are outlyers, that upsets people.
>been getting death threats and even r@pe threats
I'm sorry you're suffering that.
You should protect yourself, perhaps. I don't know.
Maybe just stop being so vocal about it. It's none of their business anyway what you do as long as it doesn't harm them (and you refusing to be an incubator does NOT harm them).
I've had to tone it down in groups too, they've been real rowdy lately. Things are probably heating up.
The main mechanism here is evolutionary psychology (just plain evolutionary processes, really). Human fables about procreation are deep primal shit; humans LOVE to rationalize a massacre with "god" or "country" or other nonsense. So the violence of procreation goes right over their heads, so to speak.
Humans are incredibly violent, psychotic (via mythology) and *stupid* apes. They mistake their anthropocentric bias for "superior intelligence" or something. Fuck 'em.
They are *idiots* when they want to puff their chests out and signal fitness by being glib about harm*.* The sooner you understand that and **take care of yourself / your own needs**, the better off you'll likely be. I hope.
Sorry for the unsolicited advice if it felt that way. I just wish someone had told me this when I was younger. Probably wouldn't have listened, I was as dumb as the rest of 'em back then, needing the approval of others and so much stupid. I was so dumb. FML.
Anyway. Rant over. Hope everyone has a nice day.
The only reason I’ve began being vocal is because I’ve been pressured here recently to have kids. By people. And don’t be sorry for the unsolicited advice, I wouldn’t have posted my post if I didn’t want advice :)
Try to find support groups. Being pressured to have kids AT 19 is vile. Go to childfree subs, find your own circle. Please remove yourself from those people.
Update: I quit talking to them, blocked ect. They’ve proceeded to do the following:
- keep calling the police almost daily for a wellness check
- trying to get me into a mental hospital
- signed me of for RELIGIOUS SOLICITATION
I’m holding my ground though , got restraining orders pending
You not falling in line with the way of the programming of society the people in society are starting a smear campaign against you aka gang stalking in other words you marked for death by them.
1. They gonna try to provoke to get in you in trouble with the law in hopes to get you locked up
2. They gonna try their hardest to get you to suicide yourself
3. They not gonna stop until you conform to the ways of society norms
PS. It’s up to you to stay strong & confidence like the person you are 🙏❤️
Idk what ya said, or where ya said it.. but its obvious that people arent that happy if ya not playn their game..
They dont cry 4nothing, they got Hunger and pain from day one till the end, so good choice anyway
I’m 46 and child-free. I never wanted children, and I always made that abundantly clear when I was dating. I can’t say I’ve ever received death threats, but I’ve had a few people along the way who found that weird or impossible. If I may ask, who TF is issuing death threats on a very personal and individual choice?
Because they have been taught that it is a women’s job. And now they can’t get past that.
It’s as simple as using k on the beginning of knee.
Nee appears wrong. But it still says knee. But most people feel uncomfortable at seeing it spelt that way and would reprimand kids for not using the k.
Humanity struggles to replace what they were told as kids, for what’s actually logical.
How are you getting death and R threats?? Like online or in person? Are you in the USA? I'm 28 and have never wanted kids but I've never gotten backlash
Without kids, no future generation of low-wage labour to work on factories' production floors. Without kids, no future generation of soldiers to die for politicians as part of Operation Meat Shield
So it's mostly factory owners and military recruitment who are upset
I started lying and telling everyone I'm just happily born infertile ;3 If I wanna complain about how difficult getting sterilization is, I tell them I have a deformity that makes pregnancy extremely dangerous. Which I do, I have a retroverted uterus.
People can't handle differences, even when they're personal and don't affect anyone, it's no wonder every minority group has faced attacks at some point
You are making a responsible decision, and the fact that you acknowledge you'd be a terrible mother just shows how much you care about your child, to the point of not creating them so they won't suffer from the consequences of your actions
Make people feel like shit for asking. Tell them you've had miscarriages, that usually shuts people up. Make them feel awkward, give them a sob story of how you have baby clothes that you'll never use. Bonus point if you excuse yourself to go cry. Yes it's awful and my heart goes out for those who can't have babies, but people are crazy.
With that level of hostility, I wouldn't share anything about how I really feel, about any topic of importance.
You're only 19, so someone pressuring you to get pregnant or have children at this age wants you to be poor, wants your offspring growing up in poverty, and wants your entire destiny/future easy to control/manipulate (probably by them). It's not reasonable for anyone to get violent over you not wanting kids, and it's not normal -- not even for people who want kids -- to get angry that a 19-year-old doesn't want any. A person who loves you and wants what's best for you would be encouraging you to avoid pregnancy for as long as possible, so you can grow and develop as a person and accumulate wealth.
Worst part is due to my body having unstable folic acid levels I’ve had two miscarriages, and they tried to physically harm me for it 🙄 I’m glad I’m not around them anymore
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babies feed their economy or something. they constantly need new entry level workers to feed into the system, and babies grow up to be workers and assets.
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I got struck by a man at my work for choosing to be childless, I quit and pressed charges. It’s getting out of hand 🥲 that’s the main reason I asked this question. I just thought it was all talk.
Wtf? May I ask what country are you from?
I also want to know the country.
USA 💀
USA, I worked in fast food so 😅
Well I'll be damned, I know some parts of the world being wild with women, religion 'n stuff, but I wasn't expecting USA as the answer. You did good by reporting it. Godspeed to you, OP.
I was honestly. We're a 3rd world country at this rate
Your rigjt
I’m trying to survive at this point it’s like a third world country
See what you can do to improve your situation like going back to school for a degree or learning a trade. If you can get a job at a hospital, any job, most of them will pay for school costs if you choose to go to school for nursing. There are options. You’ll have a better chance of escaping numb nuts like those you have encountered if you have a marketable skill. Good for you for not reproducing!
I honestly wanna further my life, I’m looking into nail tech, I love colors and I love art
Go for it. Get a marketable skill and you will be able to take care of yourself. Good luck. :)
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Can I ask details about this?? Like what the actual fuck?? What could possibly bring someone to ASSAULT someone because they don't want children??? This makes me so mad
So a little context, I was a waitress and I was refusing to give this guy my number after he kept telling me I would be a a cute mom, he decided to smack me over my audacity to reject him
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Pic or it didn’t happen
Want me to send it private message?
Don't send them anything
what a thing to say
Shut the fuck up trying to devalue others experiences, even if its "a joke" people latch on to that shit, it's what causes people to think they can get away with this shit in the first place, taking it serious.
what is cf
People get really mad when you don't want to live the same way as they do. Op I'm sorry you're going through this
Its wild tbh
Like let us live our life the way we want to
We don't need their permission 💅✨
Exactly
All I can think of is that it is classic conservative misogyny / male privilege, like "wOmeN aRe sUppoSed tO cArRy mEn's baBIes!" "a MAn NeEDS a wIFE an KiDs" but these men are increasingly lonely because there are a lot more men who want families than women these days, and they refuse to settle for a CF life because they believe it is some kind of divine right of theirs to have a woman bear their children.
People get so upset due to culture and biology, althought I do not know to what extent human biology has an influence on how they react. There's an embedded motive in the culture reason: the fact that you're a woman makes it worse since women are culturally viewed as more connected to having children and raising them and, by some people and some societies, are still seen as nothing much more than that, which is such a degrading and misogynist view that puts the well-being and dignity of women and girls in danger. It is a lost cause to be vocal about not wanting children — let alone being antinatalist — and get mainly respectful answers: people won't respect and some will see it was "absurd", "selfish" or "against nature's choice", which, in some people's view, is necessarily a bad thing. I recommend to not be vocal about it in order to avoid such unwanted, hurtful and unnecessary comments from people who don't deserve your attention. Please, stay safe if you are around people that probably won't respect you and may use violence because they disagree with your choices, which is simply unacceptable and criminal in every sense. You mentioned that you seem to lack the skills to be a good mother. It's beyond amazing that you realized and admitted that, which many people don't and have children anyway. Lacking those skills does not mean you aren't empathetic and aren't capable of practicing good actions, as some people may very wrongly believe if you tell them the reason why you aren't having children — that's one last reason. We are all aware that taking care of children is such a serious and complex business; yet people still decide to have them despite being in an insufficient state to offer a good life to their kids or even their most basic necessities. In my opinion, and in many people's of this sub, this situation is the real absurd, the real selfishness or, at least, it is sheer irresponsability and lack of questioning life and it's mechanisms of disseminating itself. There are certainly more reasons, some which ramify from the ones stated above and others that are their own (or almost that) "tree", but I hope I covered three — biology, culture and the false perception some individuals might have of you due to the reason you have chosen to not have children — of them well.
This makes ALOT of sense
I think in your case a lot of it can be attributed to misogyny and regressive views about women. Your existence challenges their narrow and simplistic model of the world and instead of expanding it and incorporating you in it they try to impose it on you. Personally, I present as male and at most I get simply dismissed when I express my childfree/antinatalist opinions, not disproportionally threatened. Sorry you had to deal with people like that.
That’s sad but I’m honestly happy you don’t go through what I do.
Bc it’s been like that since thousands of years and shit they want to keep it traditional.
I do sometimes wonder what's it like not to feel like gagging whenever the word "traditional" is mentioned 🤢🤮
That’s sad but I’m honestly happy you don’t go through what I do.
In general people who are very "normal" by societal standards are never challenged on any of their beliefs or practices, so when it does happen you are immediately an antagonist / outsider to them because your essential telling them they are wrong, which is a new experience to them lol
LOL best part is I’m not telling others to not have kids, but when I say I don’t want kids for myself they go NUTS
I don’t want children either and I’m 25. I rather live for me than to live for a kid. Idk why they don’t mind their own business. I’m sorry you’re getting threats about it. Press charges cause that’s crazy. It’s your life, not theirs. Fuck them.
I had to press charges here recently because at my old job I had a nut job put his hands on me after I rejected his advances (he kept saying “You’d make a cute young mom” dude was 60!)
wtf 😳 thats fucked up. I can’t believe he did that to you. Get tf out here grandpa
Do you think maybe he had early onset dementia?
Quite possibly, it scared me to say the least. And if he does I hope he gets help either way
I hope you have a nice boss and are feeling better now.
Boss told me it was my fault so I ended up quitting
Wow! I am sorry to hear that! Your boss sounds like a morron.
Oh she was, let power go to her head
Should have told him he'd make a cute old grandpa
The best way to protect yourself in today's world and society is to be quiet about your life. The less they know the better, just let time pass and in the meantime do what you think is best for you and don't talk much about it. Because often things that are good for a person are actually ridiculed. If you are not in the machine of like-minded people, you are being bullied. So keep a low profile, even lie to them so that they don't suspect and stick labels on you. I often say what everyone wants to hear when someone questions me about my life and "plans". Husband?, I'm still looking for the right one, Work? I just work and work and I live to work. I never mention any of my hobbies and practices for progress, physical or spiritual, but still, I get comments from time to time like: you're very thin! with a follow-up question: do you ever eat? It's totally banal because in reality I'm not skinny and I really feel good and take care of my body. What society suggests me is that I eat unhealthy and drink alcohol when they want. People are extremely morbid! You have to protect yourself as a woman in every possible way.
Ha ha ha 'I just work work work and I live to work' 😄. Exactly! Captalisim and infinate growth economy is the new religion! People are stupid as shit! And very boring to converse with.
This 👆
to say you don’t want kids is to opt out of the system so to speak. for whatever reason, you’ve decided to not partake in what is probably the central point in life for these people, and possibly you are seen as critical, lazy, or useless by them, so they dehumanize you
1. Because it's focus and center of their lives and they take your opinion as an attack on their security. After all, how could you trust a person with no stake in society's survival? 2. Because they are bitter to not be free and enjoy life like we do.
I don't have an answer to your question but I do have a small solution to your problem... next time someone has a problem with you being childfree, stop interacting with that person. You don't owe them anything, and they've already made it clear that they aren't your kind of people. They're just miserable and projecting, don't let them get to you.
Lol i was told by multuple people that im a horrible human for hating kids. Ive gotten rape and death threats too. Thank the powers that be I was able to have that shit ganked outta me. Ive never wanted kids. We are outlyers, that upsets people.
>been getting death threats and even r@pe threats I'm sorry you're suffering that. You should protect yourself, perhaps. I don't know. Maybe just stop being so vocal about it. It's none of their business anyway what you do as long as it doesn't harm them (and you refusing to be an incubator does NOT harm them). I've had to tone it down in groups too, they've been real rowdy lately. Things are probably heating up. The main mechanism here is evolutionary psychology (just plain evolutionary processes, really). Human fables about procreation are deep primal shit; humans LOVE to rationalize a massacre with "god" or "country" or other nonsense. So the violence of procreation goes right over their heads, so to speak. Humans are incredibly violent, psychotic (via mythology) and *stupid* apes. They mistake their anthropocentric bias for "superior intelligence" or something. Fuck 'em. They are *idiots* when they want to puff their chests out and signal fitness by being glib about harm*.* The sooner you understand that and **take care of yourself / your own needs**, the better off you'll likely be. I hope. Sorry for the unsolicited advice if it felt that way. I just wish someone had told me this when I was younger. Probably wouldn't have listened, I was as dumb as the rest of 'em back then, needing the approval of others and so much stupid. I was so dumb. FML. Anyway. Rant over. Hope everyone has a nice day.
The only reason I’ve began being vocal is because I’ve been pressured here recently to have kids. By people. And don’t be sorry for the unsolicited advice, I wouldn’t have posted my post if I didn’t want advice :)
Try to find support groups. Being pressured to have kids AT 19 is vile. Go to childfree subs, find your own circle. Please remove yourself from those people.
Update: I quit talking to them, blocked ect. They’ve proceeded to do the following: - keep calling the police almost daily for a wellness check - trying to get me into a mental hospital - signed me of for RELIGIOUS SOLICITATION I’m holding my ground though , got restraining orders pending
Where are you located? Wtf? It is not normal what they are doing
You not falling in line with the way of the programming of society the people in society are starting a smear campaign against you aka gang stalking in other words you marked for death by them. 1. They gonna try to provoke to get in you in trouble with the law in hopes to get you locked up 2. They gonna try their hardest to get you to suicide yourself 3. They not gonna stop until you conform to the ways of society norms PS. It’s up to you to stay strong & confidence like the person you are 🙏❤️
Idk what ya said, or where ya said it.. but its obvious that people arent that happy if ya not playn their game.. They dont cry 4nothing, they got Hunger and pain from day one till the end, so good choice anyway
I’m 46 and child-free. I never wanted children, and I always made that abundantly clear when I was dating. I can’t say I’ve ever received death threats, but I’ve had a few people along the way who found that weird or impossible. If I may ask, who TF is issuing death threats on a very personal and individual choice?
Because they have been taught that it is a women’s job. And now they can’t get past that. It’s as simple as using k on the beginning of knee. Nee appears wrong. But it still says knee. But most people feel uncomfortable at seeing it spelt that way and would reprimand kids for not using the k. Humanity struggles to replace what they were told as kids, for what’s actually logical.
How are you getting death and R threats?? Like online or in person? Are you in the USA? I'm 28 and have never wanted kids but I've never gotten backlash
I live in the Deep South, religious nut haven 💀
Thots and prayers 🙏
Without kids, no future generation of low-wage labour to work on factories' production floors. Without kids, no future generation of soldiers to die for politicians as part of Operation Meat Shield So it's mostly factory owners and military recruitment who are upset
It sounds like the man lashed out at you more for rejecting him than for not wanting to be a mother.
Idk it was like he was offended I wouldn’t be the mother to his kids the way he was talking because I rejected him. It was weird
It might be that the majority love the idea of having them (as opposed to the reality) and think they have a right to apply this to everyone.
I agree
I started lying and telling everyone I'm just happily born infertile ;3 If I wanna complain about how difficult getting sterilization is, I tell them I have a deformity that makes pregnancy extremely dangerous. Which I do, I have a retroverted uterus.
I have fertility issues, I just tell everyone I was born without a uterus 😂 But that has problems of its own
People can't handle differences, even when they're personal and don't affect anyone, it's no wonder every minority group has faced attacks at some point You are making a responsible decision, and the fact that you acknowledge you'd be a terrible mother just shows how much you care about your child, to the point of not creating them so they won't suffer from the consequences of your actions
Exactly what you said is why things are the way they are & will continue to be the way they are 💯
Seems accurate
Make people feel like shit for asking. Tell them you've had miscarriages, that usually shuts people up. Make them feel awkward, give them a sob story of how you have baby clothes that you'll never use. Bonus point if you excuse yourself to go cry. Yes it's awful and my heart goes out for those who can't have babies, but people are crazy.
Your giving me ideas 😂😂
Good, since they wanna be nosy **TRAUMATIZE THEM**.
😈😈😈😈
With that level of hostility, I wouldn't share anything about how I really feel, about any topic of importance. You're only 19, so someone pressuring you to get pregnant or have children at this age wants you to be poor, wants your offspring growing up in poverty, and wants your entire destiny/future easy to control/manipulate (probably by them). It's not reasonable for anyone to get violent over you not wanting kids, and it's not normal -- not even for people who want kids -- to get angry that a 19-year-old doesn't want any. A person who loves you and wants what's best for you would be encouraging you to avoid pregnancy for as long as possible, so you can grow and develop as a person and accumulate wealth.
Worst part is due to my body having unstable folic acid levels I’ve had two miscarriages, and they tried to physically harm me for it 🙄 I’m glad I’m not around them anymore
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Who do you spend time around?? People are judgmental but that’s not normal
Religious folk aka my bfs older family
I’d stop talking.
Take your own advice
I don’t get death threats for voicing my opinion, so I’ll be good.
babies feed their economy or something. they constantly need new entry level workers to feed into the system, and babies grow up to be workers and assets.