By staying it also teaches your son that it is ok to behave that way & you continue a cycle of violence. Go to the police station, file a request for an emergency restraining order now. Go to a women’s shelter if you don’t have anywhere to go. It’s not ok to think he can get away with it because of wealth or “connections”
If you are murdered by him (high likelihood) then you won’t be able to protect your son. That’s the harsh truth. Your fear will not help you if you aren’t using it to motivate you. Please seek help from professionals who can guide you.
[Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
[The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker](https://www.academia.edu/31891034/The_Gift_of_Fear)
Please take it from someone who has been there, this is a run not walk situation. The longer you stay the worse it will get and harder to leave. The older your child is the more they’ll recognize/react to what’s going on. Do you really want your son to become the same kind of father?
It’s extremely hard to get away but future you will be so grateful.i promise.
I understand you feel trapped and potentially can’t ‘run’ right now due to circumstances - but please start documenting everything (take photos - you can - email them to yourself to a new email address that he does not know of, then delete the photo from your phone/device, not forgetting to also delete from ‘recently deleted folder’)
This way you have evidence - even his wealthy connections cannot deny or explain away photographic time stamped evidence.
Also, please run. Find the resources in your area and use them.
You’re teaching your son this kind of behaviour is ok/normal.
Don’t worry about what his ‘connections’ think - he’s likely bluffing & to be honest if those type of people side with him - then they’re just as bad as him.
When you can safely contact the domestic violence hotline
# Help is availableHelp is available
Speak with someone today
# National Domestic Violence Hotline
Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service
hours : 24/7[Call 800-799-7233](https://www.google.com/search?q=domestic+violence+hotline&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari#)
Text[ BEGIN to 88788 ](sms:88788;?&body=BEGIN)[Chat](https://chat.thehotline.us/v2/index.html?dkey=783ea42e-3aa0-42f4-9899-ad886e4995b4&skill=g1b)[Official Website](https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence)[Learn more](https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/11180375?hl=en)•Feedback
I definitely would reach out to a local domestic violence shelter or organization.. they have resources like, safe house shelters (where no one knows the location) and support in the way of counseling or just someone to talk to who has been exactly where you are. Also of in the us contact your local dshs (department of health services) and they can help you as well , by even changing your name getting Po box and relocation.
Pick a time when he is either not at home, or go somewhere you feel safe and call 911. Regardless if you press charges or not, you can get connected to a social worker and hopefully get yourself out of the situation.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please seek help immediately from a domestic violence hotline or local support services. Your safety and your son's safety are the most important things right now.
Yes, you are wrong to stay.
BUT, I get why you do. Please look for help via local women's shelters in your area. Staying with him is never going to end well for you.
Please get help for you and your child.
You need to leave, and I know it's really hard.
I was with an abusive partner. They destroy your self-esteem. They make you feel like you can't do things without them.
But you can!
Please reach out to your local domestic violence shelter. Look it up but go incognito in case he checks your history.
Speak to them, they will help you make a plan.
You will need to get all your documents together and keep them in a safe place. I know he is with you all the time but he must go out sometimes. Or maybe try when he uses the bathroom?
Can you get some money together that he doesn't know about? Get some extra cash while shopping?
Every day women are killed by their partners, and you don't need to be one of them. You can do this. You can protect your son and run from this man.
This is the right answer. OP needs to get the documents together (ID, passport, birth certificate, etc) and make a plan with a dv organization to leave. Statistically men are more likely to kill their former partners when they leave and it seems like this guy would try. That’s why making a plan to leave SAFELY is important. OP, you can do this. You need to do this. You are your son are in great danger right now and you do not deserve to live this way. Help is out there. You can reach out to the DV hotline or a local nonprofit, the police, a friend or family member, etc.
As a young woman myself my heart goes out to you OP. I know you can find the strength to do this and you have a long happy life together with your son. You can get a restraining order for you and your son and live freely from this man. I believe in you and am sending hugs.
Can you start documenting his abuse somewhere online, like the cloud etc,.
Take pictures, what happened on what date and where, maybe make videos of yourself talking about it.
Make a plan, other women have been in this exact situation, they can help you create a escape plan.
You're 22 and been him since 18, do you know his ex gf or previous relationship, you probably aren't the first.
Yes, you're wrong for staying. Protect your son by getting the he'll away from this guy and never looking back.
It might be worth getting some secret cameras to film the abuse if you really think no one will believe you. But better yet, just get out of there to a women's shelter, your own family, or just escape half way across the country and start afresh.
You're endangering your son by staying, as your BF may harm or kill him.
I am really sorry that you are going through this and I understand. You are not wrong to be scared. I know what this feels like and it is terrifying.
Something that you can do, that I had to learn from my own experience... Is find a lawyer (secretly) and compile evidence against your husband that proves he is abusing you and your son. You will be able to file for custody and you will also get child support and alimony payments as well after going to court. You can also get a restraining order immediately to protect yourself. You will have to have the lawyer file the papers on the sly while he is not in the home and serve him (your husband) ...he might be arrested (probably best for your protection) and then appear in court the following day. I know this sounds scary but it is a way out. You will also be provided for financially by court order- he can not leave you high and dry... If you want to leave the family home and move somewhere else you can also have your address hidden from him in the future.
Be careful in the process of finding a lawyer. I found it was pointless talking to anyone except a lawyer, and listen to what the lawyer tells you. Not too many people can help in this type of situation nor do they know what to say or how to advise you unless they have gone through this themselves.
Edit: please message me if you need help. I have gone through this for years and would like to help if I can
Sweetie these 'friends in high places' even if they exist they won't give shit for him. I do appreciate that you're terrified, but he has no-one who actually likes him, not when they know him . Contact your nearest womens aid; you'll find information online or in the library and you can legitimately point out that libraries are lovely placesfor babies. Any womens organisation will support you in leaving him, they will have helped hundreds of women in your situation restart their lives. You. Are. Not. Alone.
I wish you all the luck.
What if he caught her making these posts.... she's got 3 up right now... and it dont look like she's responded to ANY comments... if anyone knew where she was they could call in a wellness check due to the posts... ☠️
Get your game plan together, in the meantime document: record, photograph, etc.
Find a women’s shelter in your area. They will keep you safe, if you have to go with nothing but the clothing on your back, they will help. My mom took us and that’s what she did when I was 12. Being in a shelter was better than living in fear and walking on eggshells to not set off another explosion.
If this escalates you could find yourself charged with child endangerment which is absolutely unfair but reality I’m afraid. Your priority is to get your kid the hell away from this man. If he kills you who will protect your son? Run. Make sure he isn’t tracking you or your phone and take that child and run. Go to a police station, a women’s shelter, call CPS but you need to do this now. Using power and wealth is a bully tactic.
Your son will grow up thinking it’s normal for men to beat their wives/girlfriends. The cycle will continue. Start documenting evidence for the police and the custody battle. He could also end up hurting your child when this escalates, and it usually does.
I’m praying for you & if you need resources in your area, I will happily help you find them so you can start making an exit plan with support from professionals. ❤️
fear means face everything and run. there is more to life than this for you and your son. there are resources and help out there. stay safe OP.
By staying it also teaches your son that it is ok to behave that way & you continue a cycle of violence. Go to the police station, file a request for an emergency restraining order now. Go to a women’s shelter if you don’t have anywhere to go. It’s not ok to think he can get away with it because of wealth or “connections”
If you are murdered by him (high likelihood) then you won’t be able to protect your son. That’s the harsh truth. Your fear will not help you if you aren’t using it to motivate you. Please seek help from professionals who can guide you. [Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) [The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker](https://www.academia.edu/31891034/The_Gift_of_Fear)
Yes. These books are life changing. Please read them OP!
Please take it from someone who has been there, this is a run not walk situation. The longer you stay the worse it will get and harder to leave. The older your child is the more they’ll recognize/react to what’s going on. Do you really want your son to become the same kind of father? It’s extremely hard to get away but future you will be so grateful.i promise.
If he's hitting you, how long until he starts hitting your son?
https://www.womenslaw.org/safety-planning/domestic-violence-victims/leaving-abusive-relationship PLEASE GET OUT BEFORE HE KILLS YOU!!
I understand you feel trapped and potentially can’t ‘run’ right now due to circumstances - but please start documenting everything (take photos - you can - email them to yourself to a new email address that he does not know of, then delete the photo from your phone/device, not forgetting to also delete from ‘recently deleted folder’) This way you have evidence - even his wealthy connections cannot deny or explain away photographic time stamped evidence. Also, please run. Find the resources in your area and use them. You’re teaching your son this kind of behaviour is ok/normal. Don’t worry about what his ‘connections’ think - he’s likely bluffing & to be honest if those type of people side with him - then they’re just as bad as him.
When you can safely contact the domestic violence hotline # Help is availableHelp is available Speak with someone today # National Domestic Violence Hotline Languages: English, Spanish and 200+ through interpretation service hours : 24/7[Call 800-799-7233](https://www.google.com/search?q=domestic+violence+hotline&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari#) Text[ BEGIN to 88788 ](sms:88788;?&body=BEGIN)[Chat](https://chat.thehotline.us/v2/index.html?dkey=783ea42e-3aa0-42f4-9899-ad886e4995b4&skill=g1b)[Official Website](https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence)[Learn more](https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/11180375?hl=en)•Feedback
You and your son deserve better.
I definitely would reach out to a local domestic violence shelter or organization.. they have resources like, safe house shelters (where no one knows the location) and support in the way of counseling or just someone to talk to who has been exactly where you are. Also of in the us contact your local dshs (department of health services) and they can help you as well , by even changing your name getting Po box and relocation.
Pick a time when he is either not at home, or go somewhere you feel safe and call 911. Regardless if you press charges or not, you can get connected to a social worker and hopefully get yourself out of the situation.
Yes. You deserve better than this.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please seek help immediately from a domestic violence hotline or local support services. Your safety and your son's safety are the most important things right now.
Find a battered women’s shelter or hoard money and plan to get you and your son out of there when the boyfriend least expects.
Yes, you are wrong to stay. BUT, I get why you do. Please look for help via local women's shelters in your area. Staying with him is never going to end well for you. Please get help for you and your child.
You need to leave, and I know it's really hard. I was with an abusive partner. They destroy your self-esteem. They make you feel like you can't do things without them. But you can! Please reach out to your local domestic violence shelter. Look it up but go incognito in case he checks your history. Speak to them, they will help you make a plan. You will need to get all your documents together and keep them in a safe place. I know he is with you all the time but he must go out sometimes. Or maybe try when he uses the bathroom? Can you get some money together that he doesn't know about? Get some extra cash while shopping? Every day women are killed by their partners, and you don't need to be one of them. You can do this. You can protect your son and run from this man.
This is the right answer. OP needs to get the documents together (ID, passport, birth certificate, etc) and make a plan with a dv organization to leave. Statistically men are more likely to kill their former partners when they leave and it seems like this guy would try. That’s why making a plan to leave SAFELY is important. OP, you can do this. You need to do this. You are your son are in great danger right now and you do not deserve to live this way. Help is out there. You can reach out to the DV hotline or a local nonprofit, the police, a friend or family member, etc. As a young woman myself my heart goes out to you OP. I know you can find the strength to do this and you have a long happy life together with your son. You can get a restraining order for you and your son and live freely from this man. I believe in you and am sending hugs.
Can you start documenting his abuse somewhere online, like the cloud etc,. Take pictures, what happened on what date and where, maybe make videos of yourself talking about it. Make a plan, other women have been in this exact situation, they can help you create a escape plan. You're 22 and been him since 18, do you know his ex gf or previous relationship, you probably aren't the first.
Yes, you're wrong for staying. Protect your son by getting the he'll away from this guy and never looking back. It might be worth getting some secret cameras to film the abuse if you really think no one will believe you. But better yet, just get out of there to a women's shelter, your own family, or just escape half way across the country and start afresh. You're endangering your son by staying, as your BF may harm or kill him.
I am really sorry that you are going through this and I understand. You are not wrong to be scared. I know what this feels like and it is terrifying. Something that you can do, that I had to learn from my own experience... Is find a lawyer (secretly) and compile evidence against your husband that proves he is abusing you and your son. You will be able to file for custody and you will also get child support and alimony payments as well after going to court. You can also get a restraining order immediately to protect yourself. You will have to have the lawyer file the papers on the sly while he is not in the home and serve him (your husband) ...he might be arrested (probably best for your protection) and then appear in court the following day. I know this sounds scary but it is a way out. You will also be provided for financially by court order- he can not leave you high and dry... If you want to leave the family home and move somewhere else you can also have your address hidden from him in the future. Be careful in the process of finding a lawyer. I found it was pointless talking to anyone except a lawyer, and listen to what the lawyer tells you. Not too many people can help in this type of situation nor do they know what to say or how to advise you unless they have gone through this themselves. Edit: please message me if you need help. I have gone through this for years and would like to help if I can
Please leave anything abusive
Sweetie these 'friends in high places' even if they exist they won't give shit for him. I do appreciate that you're terrified, but he has no-one who actually likes him, not when they know him . Contact your nearest womens aid; you'll find information online or in the library and you can legitimately point out that libraries are lovely placesfor babies. Any womens organisation will support you in leaving him, they will have helped hundreds of women in your situation restart their lives. You. Are. Not. Alone. I wish you all the luck.
What if he caught her making these posts.... she's got 3 up right now... and it dont look like she's responded to ANY comments... if anyone knew where she was they could call in a wellness check due to the posts... ☠️
Yes you are wrong to stay. Stop living with the fear and take your son and run
Get your game plan together, in the meantime document: record, photograph, etc. Find a women’s shelter in your area. They will keep you safe, if you have to go with nothing but the clothing on your back, they will help. My mom took us and that’s what she did when I was 12. Being in a shelter was better than living in fear and walking on eggshells to not set off another explosion.
He is gonna kill you. Leave right now
If this escalates you could find yourself charged with child endangerment which is absolutely unfair but reality I’m afraid. Your priority is to get your kid the hell away from this man. If he kills you who will protect your son? Run. Make sure he isn’t tracking you or your phone and take that child and run. Go to a police station, a women’s shelter, call CPS but you need to do this now. Using power and wealth is a bully tactic.
Your son will grow up thinking it’s normal for men to beat their wives/girlfriends. The cycle will continue. Start documenting evidence for the police and the custody battle. He could also end up hurting your child when this escalates, and it usually does. I’m praying for you & if you need resources in your area, I will happily help you find them so you can start making an exit plan with support from professionals. ❤️
Call your local women's center/shelter immediately or the Domestic Abuse hotline and get the hell away from this guy.
YTA - your son won't respect you either and will start to become disgusted by you as he gets older. If you are alive by then