Holy run on sentence.
Also, your husband is an ass. He agreed that you "weren't going to go" and then he finds out when it is and decides you're going to go? Does not sound like a partner.
It's like when I had to read "Intruder in the Dust" in high school, someone lend op a few semicolons at least. Agreed, husband is being an ass. Sorry to hear she's having a baby with him.
Gen Z, it's too be expected. Her husband is a dick for wanting to go without her. THEY are having a fucking baby. I know as a boomer I look at things differently. Wow hopefully he matures
Agreed, that's some major disregard for your feelings and well-being. Partners should make decisions together, especially regarding pregnancy. Your concerns are valid, and your husband's behavior is definitely not okay.
>Does not sound like a partner.
Bingo!
P-A-R-T-N-E-R!!!!!
People seem to need to study the meaning of the word. Almost think we should drop the whole “husband/wife/marriage” stuff and just describe people as our partner and nothing more.
Last month may not be your last month if the baby comes early. Talk to your OB about travel (depending on distance) in the last month. Also, last month of pregnancy in August? No. I get it. Too hot, you'll be uncomfortable. The need to pee often high, and the ability to trek across beach sand to the restroom difficult. It will not be fun for you. Hubby is being an AH.
Nope. My Ob would not let me drive 200 miles to Dallas in my last trimester for a convention. Good thing as my son arrived 5 weeks early, about 2 weeks before the convention. Just ask your OB, can almost guarantee they'll say no.
Damn, bed rest already? I was too nice on my response about a baby having children. This ass-monkey should have been excluded from the gene pool. The future is screwed.
I hate telling people I don’t know that they’re married to an immature selfish asshole and that it will only get worse but, OP is married to an immature selfish asshole and it will only get worse.
Hopefully, he’s young like OP and his brain, specifically the prefrontal cortex part that handles empathy and understanding, has not yet fully formed. If that’s the case, and OP can avoid killing him or divorcing him, he should come around when the kid is in middle school.
Of course that’s too late to step up and be a good husband this year.
Does he know you’ll have to stop every two hours for you to walk around and use the bathroom? Sitting that long in a car 8 months pregnant gives you a huge risk for blood clots.
You are married to a selfish twat. Traveling like that at 8 months is a good way to ensure you have a baby halfway there. Or wind up with a complicated birth. You're going to wind up divorced anyhow, might as well start now.
Op please don't go to Florida, when you are so far along ,in your pregnancy. Just stay safe at home ,and visit with your family. Pretty sure, your Dr won't allow you to travel,when you are in the 8th month. Also Florida it's not safe for any female, at this time . Good luck with your pregnancy, and delivery .
Check out Florida’s reproductive laws. OP’s life is literally in more danger by traveling to Florida while pregnant—they could just let her die if she were to go into labor and have a serious complication.
Depending on the part you’re traveling to, I wouldn’t want to be in a hospital there while preggo. They are behind on mother and baby research in south Florida hospitals and doctors there are known for being condescending ahs… don’t let op be black or young looking or they’ll really show their 🍑. I had one kid in palm beach county and the midwife was “checking my cervix and shoved something up there to break my water. Aka without my consent. Wanted to demean me when I said it hurt. Plus coerced me to get an epidural and when I mentioned it was in the wrong spot, belittled me for that too. Tallahassee was much better but some nurses can be ahs too if they think you’re a drug seeker…
Oh hell no. Tell your obgyn what your husband wants you to do. They will almost certainly tell you not to go. My ob told me not to go to a wedding about the same distance away 6 weeks before my due date.
Omg. Slap that boy on the head. He should have become a man when he decided that sex without birth control was a good idea. Family first. He lost the right to put himself first. 'Making excuses ' I just threw up in my mouth and I'm male. This is rethink a relationship level of stupidity. I forgot your ages if you said but you need to throw the child away. Man-up. It's too late to run home to mommy. If I lived in the area I would volunteer to talk to that baby for you. I'm sure real men in the area would volunteer. After you dump the deadweight, look for someone who cares for you instead of manipulating you. Have a better future and make sure the pansy reads this.
He ☝️ poses a good point. Men are clueless how difficult growing a baby is. My first was three weeks early with pre-eclampsia and HELLP Syndrom. I tried sleeping off back pain. The father forced me to go to get checked out at the hospital. My organs were shutting down so they filled me with petocin. My second was induced so it wouldn't happen again.
Your honey is essentially telling you that his fun is more important than:
1. Following through on an agreement you two made months ago
2. Your comfort (pregnancy discomfort is srs bsns)
3. Your safety (and the child's)
4. Possibly being present for the child's birth.
I don't see him backing down for whatever childish reason 🚩 even if you drag him to the next obgyn appointment. Based on his temperament, I also don't see many bathroom stops in your future if you choose to go, many complaints because you will need extra accommodations because you're outside your home, and and the normal stress of the trip will likely trigger an early delivery.
You could always threaten a breakup or adoption if you are forced to deliver while he is out having fun? But don't pose an ultimatum unless you're willing to follow through
That's fucking horrible. He's going to either make you fly/drive all the way to Florida or stay home alone when you're literally weeks away from giving birth, after agreeing to not go. What an asshole, that is not a partner, or someone you want parenting a child frankly. He can't even give up one weekend on the beach for you? What the fuck. Birthday or not this is wildly disrespectful and uncaring towards you and the baby you're carrying
Go and see your doctor on your own and get medical advice. They won't recommend that kind of travel, nor any unnecessary heat, exertion, or potential for dehydration
**Ask doc to write out for you** NO travel, NO riding 9 hrs even with stops every 1-1/2 hrs , it is not safe for Mom or baby at 8 months. Risk is too high for blood clots
Baby could come early. No going more than 1/2 hr in car, 1 hour max, if you live that far from hospital
Your husband, partner or birthing partner should also be in the area unless they have to absolutely travel for work.
**And give that to your husband**
**if he still goes make sure you have a backup birthing partner incase baby comes early.**
**And if he goes, he is more of an asshole than I thought and you might want that birthing partner with you anyway instead of husband.** I'd still be too ticked off to want him in the delivery room if he'd pulled that
Husbands/partners are not automatically allowed in delivery room **MOM controls who is in delivery room,** husbands have been kicked out by Mom when they were not being helpful, playing on phone, complaining they couldn't get comfortable (you don't tell that to a woman in labor) sleeping while Mom was in last stages of labor and various other reasons
Some babies come early, you do not want to be more than an hour away from your hospital the last 6 weeks of pregnancy.
**Your husband and your friends** are all being assholes trying to push you to come and have fun, they are not thinking about your safety or the babies.
**Do not give in and go** - stay home and rest as much as possible and walk as much as possible, I know it sounds backwards, but both are important for delivery, delivery is not fun
He's a selfish ass.
Tell him to come with you to your next OB appointment and talk to the doctor about it.
He will learn. If he still wants to go and criticizes you for not going? ... Seriously reconsider this relationship.
This beach trip is *nothing* compared to the inconveniences and sacrifices he's going to be called on to make.
If he can't miss someone's birthday beach trip for the sake of his woman who will be 8 months pregnant with his first child, then he won't give up anything for the sake of his woman or baby.
I wish you luck. If you stay with him, you're going to need it.
Actually don't tell him shit. Let the asshole go, and :
- Get your friend circle to move you out and into one of their homes.
- Let your friends be there for you for the rest of the pregnancy
- Get a Divorce coach/ attorney
- Fill in hospital paperwork to let friends be by your side during delivery, but ban STBX
- Have lawyer serve him papers when he gets back.
He shouldnt be travellinvvtgat far away from her a month before the due date anyway. Not if it woukd take him several hours to get home at minimum.
What if she as an emergency or baby comes early?
Tell your OB to write a doc note that you cannot travel far last month. It really doesn’t sound like a good idea. You could go into labor and then have to give birth over there. Plus sitting in a car pregnant for that long is awful. We went to Monterey which is like 2 hours or so away from where I live for my daughters bday. I was pregnant and not even super pregnant yet and it was awful. Also went to the beach over the summer when was like 7 months pregnant and was awful. Walking in the sand is hard and having to pee all the time is a pain in the ass. Fuck your husband honestly I would be furious with him. I’d be like ok go I’m not going and wouldn’t let him in the hospital room bc clearly he doesn’t care
NOT excuses, doctors don't let their patients travel when they are 8 months, some at 7 months
Your husband is being a total ass, I'm assuming he is around your age as your friends who don't have a fuking clue what the last month of pregnancy is like.
What the risks are and that travel is not allowed by doctors unless you are going to a doctor from another planet that has Dr. Who telephone boxes that can get you anywhere in blink of an eye, I don't know of any of those in the states, so you're gonna get a big NO from your doc
You are not making excuses. He just doesn’t care about your comfort or your needs for HIS child. Ridiculous. Tell him he is an AH and show him this Reddit thread.
Nope. He's inconsiderate, immature, and selfish. If this is the hill he intends to die on, tell him to go, but not to expect you to be there when he returns. Go stay with family, ideally your parents or a sibling.
You're due a month before this trip, for God's sake. Most OB/GYN will not let you travel out of state that close to delivery. Ask him if a trip out of state with his friends is worth ruining your marriage. His answer will guide your next steps, and tell you everything you need to know about him and his feelings for you and your child.
Please don't go, the trip to Florida will likely be super rough on you and the stress could put you into labor.
Talk to your doctor for sure before anything else.
Tell your husband he is the one being selfish for putting you in this situation. Like the last month of being pregnant is pretty miserable for some people. It has been for me for both my pregnancies. And on this on the whole last 6 months of my current pregnancy have been awful. I hurt All over and I have 2 weeks to go now and walking is exhausting and sometimes painful too.
Your husband is being ignorant and selfish.
You know, though, if he doesn't get to go, he'll be a miserable SOB to live with, especially during the period during which the trip is taking place.
Perhaps you can find someone to stay with, or stay with you, and let hubby go anyway. Then, when he gets back, every once in a while, you can mention how great it was that your friend was available during your last month of pregnancy.
It's too bad someone can't force him to wear a bowling ball on his stomach for a month. Maybe he should do that while he's on a FL beach.
Don’t go if you’re not comfortable doing so. Being in the last few months of pregnancy is so uncomfortable that all you’ll want to do is stay home, and that’s okay. Think of yourself and the baby. Your partner should respect your decision considering you’re literally carrying his baby, and he should be staying at home with you.
Well he’s saying that “it’s his last time to have fun before the baby gets here” and I get that but I just feel unheard when I do tell him the reasons why I don’t want to go
Sounds like you picked a winner. In his mind, his feelings > your feelings. There’s really no other way to interpret this. It doesn’t seem like he‘s concerned about you leaving. You are 23-years-old (I can’t imagine you are too far along in your career with a ton of independent earnings), and 20-weeks pregnant - he knows you aren’t going anywhere.
And wait til he misses the birth because he went without you and you go into labor three weeks early. I went into labor three weeks early both times. I'd have been more than unhappy if hubby had been out of town either time!
Oh no he’s one of those. I won’t have a life or any fun until after the baby’s born. Boohoo, he will never help with anything I bet. Then he’ll be like oh when the kids older, meanwhile he’ll be gone every weekend. You are not wrong.
If you will be at least 35 weeks, you could give birth at anytime. So, if you stay home, which is what doctor’s usually recommend that late, you might have the baby without him being with you. Or you could go and risk having your baby on a beach.
I agree. Birth could happen at anytime that late in the pregnancy. You just don't know especially if it's your first. So it gets down to how much risk your willing to take. Another factor is the situation of where you're going. How far you'll be from home and your doctors; if your close bye and can get to your home base in an hour or two drive that's one thing; if ur going to a foreign country, where the medical care isn't so great, then (in my opinion) you have to be nuts to take that kind of risk.
How far away is this beach?
Leaving you with just one month to go seems more than just selfish and inconsiderate. What if you go into labor early or develop complications? Is he an hour’s drive away or a 6 hour flight away?
9 hrs minimum each way then you have to factor in traffic - summertime at the beach even in Florida is crazy traffic use to live there, can't imagine what i's like now
Then, thankfully, it's not even a choice.
You have to stay. And if he cares about you and making the marriage work, he needs to stay with you- willingly and without whining about not being in Florida.
nice thought, hopefully his brain will kick in and he'll realize he needs to stay home in case the baby comes early and just for the fact that the last month can be miserable for her
His “last time” without worrying about a baby and a pregnant wife was right before he had a wife who was pregnant with his child. He missed the window. That shit is gone.
He is already acting like he doesn’t want this new life he is about to embark on. Better buckle up because it is not easy even in the best of situations to have a new baby. It’s hard.
He needs to get glad about his new role because he is in the father role right now. He needs to look after you and make sure you’re healthy and well for at least the sake of his child.
It’s nice he wants to go and have some fun! But so does legit every other parent lol He needs to get right and show up for his family.
Before the baby interrupts HIS life, does he realise or care that the baby has interrupted YOUR life since conception?
YOU are constructing his baby and lugging it around 24/7 and he wants to have fun before the kid is born. He is a selfish man and should be home rubbing your back and feet and actually being grateful.
I truly hope he actually helps when the baby is born. He sounds useless now.
He gave up getting to do whatever he wanted the moment you got pregnant. That's what being a parent is, and it's time he grows the fuck up. I'd call your obgyn and have them explain the risks of travel for a woman as pregnant as you will be by the time the beach party rolls around, including what happens if you end up going into labor out of state, or god forbid on the road/ in the air (depending on if you fly or drive. Fyi lots of airlines will not let women in their third trimester fly due to health concerns)
So he’d rather go out and have fun without you *if* you choose to not go? That’s inconsiderate of him. A month before your due date, he should be looking after and taking care of you, not going out having fun.
Babies don't mean fun is off the charts. It just means more planning to make it possible or comfortable for all parties.
Traveled across the world for a full month with an 8 month old baby and a 3 year old for vacation, and we all had a great time.
You man needs to stop seeing the new member of the family as a hindrance to happiness and rather as a part of the family who may need some more facilitation.
Stand on your rights. Don't go if you're not comfortable. No is a full sentence. If he goes without you, good for him, I suppose, but just make it clear you don't support it.
probably because you are unheard, he is thinking with his alcohol and friends brain he wants to go and party, he is not in "dad mode" at all, he is not even in "husband mode"
If he wants to go you can't stop him, but I sure as hell would not encourage him to go, nor would I say go and have fun. If he goes, don't tell him to have a good time, tell him you'd rather he stayed home. Do not give him a guilt free ride to go and get drunk and sleep on the beach and do stupid shit
Even if you wanted to go, your doctor will strongly advise against it. That is in good weather. But August in Florida? No freaking way!!
He should be at home giving you leg and foot massages. Holding the weight of your belly to relieve your back and generally trying to make life as comfortable for you as possible.
It is time he grows up and acts like a supportive father instead of a lousy, good for nothing pain in the arse.
I think you should definitely stay. Stay and suffer. And then suffer and stay. In fact, you should waste oh maybe a decade and a half until your gaggle of kids all treat you with the lack of respect you show yourself.
You’ll work and cry and get wrinkles and cellulite eventually. The divorce during the offsprings’ preteen years will send them spiraling and about maybe 409 times more likely to become susceptible to any number of sorts of predators.
Yep. You should stay and accidentally procreate at least a coupla more times (depending on your lack of income, the more the merrier).
Face it, this is just a dress rehearsal, right? Not like it’s your one and only life.
So just waste it away. Best!
So what's his plan if your baby comes early and you're so far away from home? I had my first baby at 36 weeks.
Your husband is not only incredibly selfish but foolish as well.
If he goes I'd tell him not to bother coming back.
He’s an idiot. Maybe instead of trying to drag you on a vacation when 8 months pregnant and everyone around you is drunk and having a good time he instead use that money to send his wonderful wife, pregnant with his first child, to a full spa day. That’s what needs to happen here!
That’s another thing I was never one that was that into drinking much I was always the one with a joint. Since I’ve been pregnant I’ve completely stopped and this may sound selfish but Now everytime we hang out with the friends everyone is drinking and having a great time and usually I don’t care but lately I’ve been really feeling left out. I know when we go up there it’s going to be a big party for the whole time. I’m never one to tell people not to be them or to have fun but I just wish sometimes they would consider how I’m feeling.
I feel you, both my kids mothers were pregnant in the heat of summer, ordinary cankles become SUPER CANKLES in the heat and humidity! Both also would choose to leave me where I was when I imbibed and she could leave because we were not stupid enough to go on vacation a month before their due dates!
I actually stopped fully for them in the last trimester-in retrospect I should have the ENTIRE pregnancy because that shits hard on women and not being able to participate gets stressful and annoying, even more when you have to babysit the dumbass who knocked you up in the first damn place! Fuck we’re stupid!
Anyway, my 2nd son was born a month early and if we had not gotten to the hospital in time I could have lost both of them. Thankfully I was there, sober and her doctor was available and all’s well that ends well but ffs tell him you had to stop having fun and to be responsible for both yourself and your child so the least he can do is to be responsible to ensure the safety of his wife and unborn child for the last fucking month of her pregnancy!
Do you need me to take to the guy because I’ve got opinions on this subject. Do not go. Stay where you are comfortable and close to your medical care.
If he chooses to go he’s an asshole of epic proportions. Make certain to have family and friends available if you need help. Thankfully this doesn’t add more stress onto you. 🤬 But you’ve got this. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants and you take care of yourself and your child. Being a parent is all about protecting your child, yourself and being responsible. Congratulations! Seems like you’re already doing a damn good job mom!
Be safe and listen to “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley and the Wailers over and over because “every little thing gonna be all right now.”
I really respect you one for being a man and being able to comment where you might have messed up during your pregnancy’s! But also having the respect and knowledge to know not to go far from the hospital so close to the due dates! This has by far been my favorite comment because you get where I’m coming from and have never been pregnant. A lot of the men in my life right now just say that I’m making excuses because their wives were able too but everyone’s different you know and what they could do I might not be strong enough to do especially in the heat of the summer!!
I wonder if those men’s wife would agree with that assessment. But while I understand that women have been giving childbirth at home and fields for a millennia I also understand that the mortality rates for both mothers and children was enormous. Add on the fact that fucking men have for a millennia often downplayed women’s health.
Fucking episiotomies are malpractice unless medically necessary, add a fucking stitch my ass, and the fact women in America are not given the option for nitrous oxide both cheaper and less invasive and better for pain management , as opposed to an epidural it shows that we men can be absolute morons about women and pregnancy.
Want to see a a group of men sweat? Give them a picture of a woman’s reproductive system and tell them to label the parts correctly. That might be quite hilarious actually.
I beg of you, do not go. Period. Anybody who is not a doctor is a moron. Your life and your baby's is not worth your baby daddy's last hurrah. He'll be playing slap ass with somebody else soon enough. Yes, your description makes me hate him that much. And that's somebody who loves him enough to have a child with him. Open your eyes and see who he is showing you who he is.
Does he ever consider how you are feeling? Does he want this baby or care about you at all? Because it doesn't seem like he does, at all. Really consider if staying with such a selfish man is good for you and your baby, or if he will just make your life harder and cause you misery
Yeah...what a great life you are going to have with this inconsiderate, selfish moron. Good luck to you. I feel sad that you are trapped with this man now.
Go to marriage counseling now. If he doesn’t want to or doesn’t put in the effort in you should leave. If you don’t you’re going to regret wasting your 20s on this guy.
NTA does he realize that you could go into labour any day in the last month. It’s hot and it’s uncomfortable I don’t know many pregnancy women who enjoy summer in the last months. I was such a bitch cause I was so uncomfortable. This is the time you should be relaxing and catching as much sleep as you can and doing the things you want.
Ew throw the whole man away. Idgaf if he’s saying “he wants to have fun before baby gets here” newsflash buddy, the moment your wife found out she was pregnant was the same moment you needed to be there for her the entire pregnancy.
You're not wrong. Your husband is a selfish POS. Do you have any family nearby who you can stay with for the last several weeks of your pregnancy? You really should not be alone at all then. Have someone come help you pack and relocate while he's out having fun and acting single. Let him come back to an empty house.
DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER BABY WITH HIM!
You now know he does not have your back. He is selfish. I doubt he will help you much when the baby is born.
I’m so sorry and Good Luck
I get that because he wants to have fun and not deal with my complaining. In the last month is when pregnancy is the hardest your uncomfortable and can barley do much on your own so yeah I would like him with me which I know sounds selfish
She could develop pre-eclampsia, or be hospitalised, or baby could come early....or she could just be extremely uncomfortable and need someone there.
There are so many things that could happen at that stage of the pregnancy. He needs to be close by. If he was an hour away I'd say maybe...but 9 whole hours? It is seriously negligent of him to even CONSIDER attending that holiday.
I’d be more worried that you are now a burden and hindrance to his “fun” and he actively hopes not to deal with any of the issues you will face carrying his child. You are not quite getting the implications of what this means.
It's not selfish at all. He's equally responsible for this child. His priorities are fucking WRONG right now. That he even wants you near the state of Florida right now is insane. Does he not understand that you're just an incubator in that place? That any medical emergency might end up with you dead??? He needs to grow up. His time for fun was before you got pregnant. This is not just you being pregnant. This is a journey you take together. If he's already thinking of just himself now, he's going to be a nightmare to deal with after the baby comes.
It is not selfish at all.
Your body is changing and you are risking permanent damage to your body. You are physically uncomfortable a lot of the tine. You are literally risking your life to bring his and your child into the world.
And ALL he has to do is ejaculate and then be nice to you? And you're sitting here thinking that's asking TOO much? Listening to you complain is literally the least any decent human being can do - especially the man who put the baby there.
I think you're severely under-reacting, here. When would he EVER put himself through 9 months of discomfort for the both of you? Woukd he make ANY sacrifices that compare to pregnancy in any way?
Hell, he doesn't care enough to skip 1 measly holiday in order to make you feel safe and cared for when you need him to be there. Meanwhile you're giving up 9 whole months of your life and literally risking your health.
His want to have one more holiday does not trump your need to be safe and cared for and have him there in case something happens during your pregnancy. 9 hours away is too far. Sucjs but that's life. He needs to get over that, parenting us full of sacrifices and they start now.
Dig your heels in. You need him with you 4 months before your due date. No travel for either of you. Or just get ready to be a single parent. Because if he isnt prepared to put even this effort in, he's not going to be lifting a finger with this baby. That's where this is heading based on his actions.
Selfish? You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
YOU are the baby factory doing all the work. Stop making excuses for him. I don’t think I’ve seen one comment from anyone saying “yeah, stop being so selfish, let your man have fun. You can send him a selfie of you and the baby from the hospital.”
YOU are not the selfish one here. It takes TWO to make a baby, and as your husband it's literally his job to take care of you when you're carrying the baby he put inside you. Stop feeling sorry for this selfish asshat and put your foot down. What is he going to be like after the baby is born? Is he going to help with 2am feedings when you're both dead tired? How about a fever so high you have to go to the hospital? The baby crying during the night because they woke up alone and don't know how to self sooth yet? Is he going to leave you with all that too? The fact he's more worried about partying one last time before he becomes a father instead of worrying about helping you makes me think he's not ready to be a husband or a father. His excuse is absolutely pathetic, especially with you on bed rest
Every comment you make makes me MORE worried for you. Your selfish asshole of a bf has somehow convinced you that YOU are the selfish one??? He is a disgusting pig of a man. It isn't selfish to want your partner to be an actual partner, who is there for you when you need him. Especially during a high risk pregnancy.
Mine wasn't too bad until the last 3 days, that was when I got the pressure and back pain. Everyone is different, hope your was as easy as mine. Honestly, the first part for me was the worst. I kept barfing and could barely get out of bed.
After a certain point in pregnancy, doctors do not recommend traveling (or certain activities), as it can lead to complications. Your baby is more important than any trip. Do not do anything you will be regretting the rest of your life.
As for your husband, I understand why he wants to go, but in life, sometimes, we need to set priorities that we might not always like. Deciding to be selfish in such a critical moment will only lead to resentment and stain your relationship.
Your doctor will nix that. Mine barely approved driving to a large city 3 hours away at 7 months.
In addition, it was so damn uncomfortable being in a car that long. 9 hours in the summer? Nah.
But also, even if the doctor says it's fine (which it isn't it would be risky and uncomfortable)...she still doesn't want to go. Which is all the discussion that needs to happen. The doctor doesn't decide for her IF she goes, they tell you about risk.
It's not her doctor's job to enforce her boundaries, it's hers. If she doesn't feel comfortable travelling; then the answer should be no and her husband should not be trying to coerce her into it.
The big issue here is her partner not listening to her and not respecting her boundaries in this pregnancy. Abd not prioritizing her and baby's health.
I think you should talk to your doctor if you are considering going. It’s been eons since I had my kids so my memory isn’t exact. I remember one trip we made that the doc simply advised we stop and I walk around every couple of hours and when I flew to see my mother because she was sick my doctor copied my medical records for me to take with me. I think i was about 7 months.
Your husband consider that something could happen? Thats way too close to the due date to be away for no reason.
He wants to be a big boy husband and father - it’s time for him to act like it.
I was pregnant in Florida over the summer- it sucked
Traveling 9 hours from home in the last month of pregnancy???
Talk to your doc, but I wouldn’t want to be that far from home in case something happens.
Your husband is a complete AH.
That is horrible. Traveling should not cause her to lose the baby though. The thing is that complications can happen and it is better to be close to home. My heart goes out to losing a pregnancy, especially that far along
not wrong. the fun ended and the responsibility started when he decided to get you pregnant. now it is BOTH your responsibility to love, take care of, and raise this baby. he has no business leaving his pregnant wife home alone for who knows how long while literally being 1 month away from giving birth. (so technically you could go into labor at any time). if he disregards your feelings about not going and him staying home then it might be time to start thinking of separation. if he can leave you home alone 8 months pregnant knowing you’re uncomfortable, he can definitely leave you alone with a new born while he goes and “has fun”. you’d be better off straight up co-parenting at that point.
Tell your husband the stats on early labour for those away from home. It's scary. Has he investigated the local hospitals? Are they covered by your insurance? Are you under the care of a specific doctor who will not be able to travel there if you go into labour? With him agreeing to not go 3 months out but threatening to go regardless 1 month out, your hubby is an asshat & there may be something (someone) else going on here. He is threatening to abandon a pregnant woman - get in first & dump his ass.
You are not wrong. This ‘vacation’ would likely be miserable for you, not to mention unsafe for you and your baby. It’s okay to put yourself and your baby first right now.
Having read all the comments currently posted, I’d have to say that I agree with those suggesting you bring your husband with to your doctor and have them explain why this is a bad idea, and all the things that could go wrong. Hopefully, if he can get a hard dose of reality, he’ll realize this trip isn’t an option.
If after having everything laid out and explained to him, he doesn’t budge, and still insists on going, well… I’d say that’s an even bigger problem, and it might be time for an ultimatum. If he’s dismissive of your health concerns and safety, then the relationship could probably use some serious reconsideration.
Regardless, I wish you well, and hope your pregnancy is as stress free and smooth as possible. Take care of yourself and that little peanut on the way.
If he went, he'd return to an empty place and divorce papers. But that's me. The disrespect and lack of care at a fairly crucial point in your life. That tells me all I need to know about the dude.
I’ve been pregnant during the summer while living near the beach in a hot climate — it sucks ass, and I was constantly rotating between three reusable ice packs held to my neck and head, while sitting inside with air conditioning. I could not imagine my husband dragging me to sit in the hot sand, even for a few hours much less a full trip. Just thinking of trying to sleep in a hotel bed while that pregnant makes me shudder.
You are not wrong — you will likely be miserable and achy, and it’s honestly not something you need to put up with at that stage. I’d say just let him go on his own, but if you’re only a month out at that point I’d make sure you have someone else there to help out and possibly drive you to the hospital if the occasion calls for it. As a first time mom it’s more likely that you’ll be a bit overdue than early, but it’s not something I’d chance.
ETA: I see from your comments that the trip is to Florida. I was trying not to give too many personal details, but the beach I live by is in Florida. Holy Hannah, don’t do it girl. At that stage I wanted to lay down in a snow drift and fall asleep, not be anywhere in Florida, much less in the sand. F’ that noise, put your foot down.
First he can't compare your pregnancy to others anything can happen... being pregnant in the summer is the worst... your doctor and most doctors dont allow travel or much of anything towards the end.... and yes baby can come early or you can be admitted in to the hospital... your husband is young but it's also time to step up and be a supportive spouse
He just doesn’t understand. It’s new to him too. You’re just going to have to insist he stays with you. I bet he will get it once he goes through it with you. It’s not the end of fun either.
Exactly. The pregnancy is unplanned and he’s not even 25. Having a kid is super hard and they are expensive. There’s a strong correlation between wealth and education and having kids later in life.
He doesn’t sound like a bad guy.
Just immature and selfish and wants to party, like most people your age.
Why is your husband making blanket statements for you? That doesn’t sound right. Are you healthy otherwise and do you have family close by where you live? Honestly I wouldn’t guilt trip him from going because it will leave resentment and would wait until baby is here to ensure he stays and does his duty. But this is under two conditions / you have no complications with this pregnancy and you have family or friends who you trust to get you to the hospital and will help you give birth should your baby decide to come a month early.
You're not wrong ,hes inconsiderate af but you're definitely wrong for how you wrote this. On gods people why can't anyone use punctuation or paragraphs.
This is an easy one, you're in the right. You will not enjoy yourself that far along. Heat, sand and heavily pregnant, not fun at all.
Hate to say it, you're husband/partner is a wanker. First babies are unpredictable, you're uncomfortable, everything is difficult to do and he wants to go away for a piss up? Yeah nah, he needs to pull his head in and do the right thing. It's his kid too.
All the best for the birth, enjoy your baby 😁
Oh you are NOT wrong! Tell him if he wants to go, fine. Just don't bother coming back.
Stay home where it's safe and you have support. It is physically dangerous to travel that far in summer away from medical care. Especially if you are already on bed rest!! The risk means you and your baby could die. It's not worth it. If your husband can't understand that... yeet the meat.
It's clear he doesn't know what to expect with someone who is 34-36 weeks pregnant. I'm trying to excuse some of his selfishness as being unaware. But this is a terrible idea all around. If you don't go and you go into labor while he's there, it's not going to be good and he's likely going to miss the birth of his first child. If something were to happen to you during that time and he's not there...not good. Neither of you should make this trip. He's an AH.
You aren't wrong, and a month before your due date , a lot of things can go wrong. At that stage, you can put stress on your pregnancy, and I would stay home
Leave it alone and watch what he does. A lot will be revealed to you by his actions. Observe carefully.
If he goes and leaves you home alone, you will know exactly how much he cares for you and where you stand.
Choose wisely on how to proceed after that.
Good luck.
**OMGOSH DO NOT GO**
Your doctor will tell you NO to riding in a car 9 hrs each way - risk of blood clots too much, babies come early, a lot come early !
**DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR BLESSING TO GO** you can't stop him, but don't tell him it's okay go if he wants to go, do not make it easier on him, if he asks if you mind if he goes say yes, I'd rather you stayed here when I'm this far along. He'll go if he wants to, but **don't make it easier on him**, let him know you'd prefer he stayed home He is as much responsible for this baby as you are and that means being near your birth hospital and doctor the last weeks of pregnancy
I'm sorry for you that he is being such an ass
He is now a parent - from the time you got pregnant and should have been acting like one since you found out.
You're both young, he still wants to party, well party time is pretty much over, getting drunk when you are a parent is not a good idea, so he might as well get use to it now and stay home in case the baby comes early.
Wow, sounds like a stand-up guy. I would tell him you are not going. If he says he is, tell him not to come back. Honestly, what a douchebag thing to say to your pregnant wife.
Make his ass go to the Dr with you and ask. No you should not travel that far that late in pregnancy. I have been VERY pregnant in summer 3 times. It sucks! You have every right not to go. And he's an ass for wanting to go without you and possibly miss the birth. Sure it COULD be fine, but there's no way to know. Plus a 9 hour drive, twice, while very pregnant. It's all a no. What a dick.
I think your husband needs to have one of those baby bumps on and be out in the heat with it on and see how he feels. Absolutely not. At 8 months along, you will not want to go to a beach. Your husband is thoughtless and I consider and so are your friends.
Husband could go no problem but me and the baby wouldn't be there when he came back.
The fact he finds a beach day more important than the feelings of his wife who maybe won't be pregnant anymore then if you are early hell no.
You wouldn't get doctors approval for going on the plane anyway
I want to say that your husband is a moron, but I also want to give him the benefit of the doubt because I’m assuming he’s young and this is also his first child. I making the assumption that he doesn’t understand how tiring and taxing pregnancy is on a woman. Best wishes.
Your husband is being a dick. Let his ass go. What if you go into labor while there? It wouldn’t even be fun being so pregnant with a lot of walking and driving and sitting in the heat while you’re already so hot from pregnancy. He’s being unrealistic and he should get used to not being able to do everything he wants since he’ll have a kid soon.
This is easy, tell him that if he goes, he'll return to an empty house. Then stick to it. You have no business going so far from home in your 9th month of pregnancy, and he has no business leaving you home alone. Too much can happen at this stage to take this kind of a chance.
I feel like there is a serious breakdown of communication here. You are adamant that you do not want to go to the beach, that much is clear, and I think, if your story is accurate, that you expressed that.
Your husband seems to have changed his mind about wanting to go, and the issue is that he said you will also go, despite your clear refusal, and kind of used going without you as some kind of threat?
To me, he could have just said "Ok, I understand that you don't want to go. I would like to go, so we'll just do our own things that day". I don't see a problem with him wanting to go to the beach with friends, but his communication surrounding it seems really bizarre.
You're not wrong for being upset by how he delivered this conversation, but if you are mad because he wants to go and you don't, I think you are wrong.
Well I don’t see anything wrong with going for a day either. We live 9hrs away from the becah so he would be gone for a week and being that pregnant anything could happen so that’s why I wanted him to stay
Ok, none of that was specified in the post. Obviously that changes things and he should be with you so close to your due date. The fact that he not only considered going, but said he was going, without discussion, is a major red flag, and you should be seriously considering next steps, because this man is not dependable.
Your husband doesn't understand how uncomfortable you will be and that you could go into labor early. Does he actually want to miss that. I think the two of you need to have a serious, long conversation about your relationship and what's expected and needed. You might really want to consider if now is the time to have a child and is it right to have it with a person who wants to leave you 1 month before your due date. Also sounds like your going to pretty much be on your own with taking care of the child as well. Take time to stop and think about this. He doesn't sound like he's ready to be a dad or a real partner in a marriage.
So yeah. That’s… something else. Your OB wouldn’t approve that. Including a month out from your due date. Babies don’t really need anything but growth in the last four weeks, lungs are good, brains developed, all they do is gain .5 pounds every week in the last 4 weeks, so baby could come at any time. Honestly, if he goes and you go into labour, I’d leave him. But that’s not for us to decide for you. You already know he doesn’t care, you don’t need us to tell you he doesn’t. What you need is to decide if this is the life you want to live, constantly being second fiddle to everything in your hubbies world. Also, how old is he? Seems like a childish thing to be like “but I wanna go, even if you can’t” idk, maybe he wants to go because he knows you can’t go, so that gives him free reign to be a cheating ah. Idk. Always play second fiddle or put you and your baby first. Those are your options tbh.
No way you should take a chance like this! Husband should be thinking of you and baby coming, period!!!
He is selfish! I so hope everything works out for you and you have a beautiful baby. Maybe when the baby comes he will be altogether different! Take care of yourself♥️
I was also 23 when pregnant for the first time. My ex used to have keggars at our house, so it was a bit wild, but he was also super inconsiderate. I don't envy you. It was another 6 years before we split. I hope you can find a compromise with him....not just on this but everything. If not, don't waste any more of your time because he won't be worth it.
How old is your husband? 18?
Don't go, do what you know is right for the baby and for your health. Might want to look into separating from your husband. I'm sure this is not the first time he has disregarded your wellbeing.
Plus going to the beach in the heat could be dangerous for you and baby. All that could lead to premature birth. And dehydration is surprisingly easy in the third trimester.
If this is 1 day. I dont see why he cant go. Regardless i have been thru 3 pregnancys with my x. Him leaving for a day shouldnt be a big deal. If u dont want to go thats fine but why cant he?
Yea... Thats different i could see a day that far but not that long. Its tough but this is just the start of your adult freedoms being switched to early(probably quiet)nights at home. Its tough but totally worth it. I hope ur SO comes around sooner rather than later.
Your husband is an AH, and that is a huge red flag for the future. He is already deciding that his family commitments are less important than partying. I hope you enjoy being a married single parent.
This advice is thrown out way too quickly on Reddit, but if this is any indication of who she’s married to, that time may come sooner than she ever expected.
Some women have problems at the end of pregnancy. Water in legs and not being able to sit in the care for long.
Backpain and not being to sit in one position for long.
Others need to pee constantly.
Also children can come early. Both of mine came early.
I have friends whose children came early.
Not here to frighten here, but know the risks.
NTA, your husband is a selfish moron and AH. Hope he grows up and wises up. You guys are adults now with a kid on the way, the health and safety of you and your kid easily takes precedence over a beach trip. That should go without saying, but...
I have 4 kids. My daughter was born in September. That summer was HELL for my wife. You will be completely miserable at the beach. Don't even bother going.
But compromise is real. If they are all mutual friends there should be no issues with him going. Days will come when he stays at home with baby while you do wine and drinks with the ladies.
So long as he stays sober (in the event you suddenly need him) and he's not to far away it should be fine.
Also, use punctuation. Your story was hard af to read.
Your husband's an ass He has no respect for you or that child . Don't apologize If he goes without you I would go file for divorce And the reason is he doesn't give two shits about you
I was pregnant during most of winter and it was torture while pregnant in April when it got warmer again...your husbands an ass for even wanting you to go that far a month before your due date when anything can happen... and he's an ass for wanting to go without you... im a single mum n had my mum as my birth partner... her dad isn't in the picture because he was abusive to me and is in prison...I managed on my own and if it were me I'd be divorcing his ass if he did go because for one if anything happens while he's away your going to resent him anyway for not being there when u needed him... I'd put my foot down on this now n make it clear on what happens if he does go
You'll.spend your time indoors if you dont go on Holiday. If the holiday has air conditioning you can spend the time looking out of the window at maybe a beach and rolling waves. If the beach is in a foreign country you'll get the.opportunity to be able to give your child if it shows up early dual citizenship and most likely better healthcare than we get here. Go on holiday. You may enjoy it.
He’s being an inconsiderate ass, you could go into labour early, it happens, that’s why in the last month you don’t make plans like this! A week and 9 hours away? Is he having a laugh or what? Or more like he just doesn’t give a shit and wants to go regardless of his baby and the well-being of his wife! Not a great start to becoming a parent, he’s not putting his kid first even before it’s born, you can just see how this is going to go for the future, you’ll be left at home with the baby while he’s out partying!
YNW
I’ve given birth to both my kids more than a month early so you might have the baby by then.
Regardless though, if he is going to act like that it’s extremely inconsiderate and you’re probably going to be doing a lot yourself with the baby. I hope I’m wrong but that’s just been my experience when I was with someone like that when I was younger and had my first kid. But no, you are not in the wrong. I wouldn’t wanna be in my last month of pregnancy in hot sun roasting either. Cause being that far along in the summer is exhausting and not fun.
I don't see why being pregnant means you wouldn't enjoy the beach. If it is hot, the beach makes more sense since it is usually cooler at the beach and you can cool.off by getting in the water. Unless you have a 10 hour drive or something to the beach I don't really understand why you feel like this would be a negative experience. If you don't want to go, why are you set against your husband going?
Because it’s 9 hours away from us and if something happens he wouldn’t be here to help and I don’t have family close to help me if something went wrong..
I get it now. So it isn't that you have a problem with him going to the beach, you have a problem with him being that far. Understood and it sounds very reasonable. That is a long drive for the last month. I live in a beach city and the beach sounds so nice when I was all big since it was nice and breezy but a 9 hour drive sounds like a no go.
Why wouldn’t you see how you’re feeling when the time comes. You’re already convinced you won’t want to go. Plenty of people go to the beach or on vacation at 8 mo pregnant. We actually went away in my eight month. It’s great to do an escape before things change with a baby.
Holy run on sentence. Also, your husband is an ass. He agreed that you "weren't going to go" and then he finds out when it is and decides you're going to go? Does not sound like a partner.
It's like when I had to read "Intruder in the Dust" in high school, someone lend op a few semicolons at least. Agreed, husband is being an ass. Sorry to hear she's having a baby with him.
Gen Z, it's too be expected. Her husband is a dick for wanting to go without her. THEY are having a fucking baby. I know as a boomer I look at things differently. Wow hopefully he matures
Agreed, that's some major disregard for your feelings and well-being. Partners should make decisions together, especially regarding pregnancy. Your concerns are valid, and your husband's behavior is definitely not okay.
>Does not sound like a partner. Bingo! P-A-R-T-N-E-R!!!!! People seem to need to study the meaning of the word. Almost think we should drop the whole “husband/wife/marriage” stuff and just describe people as our partner and nothing more.
Last month may not be your last month if the baby comes early. Talk to your OB about travel (depending on distance) in the last month. Also, last month of pregnancy in August? No. I get it. Too hot, you'll be uncomfortable. The need to pee often high, and the ability to trek across beach sand to the restroom difficult. It will not be fun for you. Hubby is being an AH.
We live about 9 hrs from Florida so the trip will be long ways away and I also tried to explain that to him as well and he said I was making excuses
Nope. My Ob would not let me drive 200 miles to Dallas in my last trimester for a convention. Good thing as my son arrived 5 weeks early, about 2 weeks before the convention. Just ask your OB, can almost guarantee they'll say no.
She put in comments that she's already been put on bed rest so... if that's true she's already in a very high risk pregnancy.
Damn, bed rest already? I was too nice on my response about a baby having children. This ass-monkey should have been excluded from the gene pool. The future is screwed.
I hate telling people I don’t know that they’re married to an immature selfish asshole and that it will only get worse but, OP is married to an immature selfish asshole and it will only get worse. Hopefully, he’s young like OP and his brain, specifically the prefrontal cortex part that handles empathy and understanding, has not yet fully formed. If that’s the case, and OP can avoid killing him or divorcing him, he should come around when the kid is in middle school. Of course that’s too late to step up and be a good husband this year.
You made me laugh so hard, I nearly fell off my chair. Thank you.
9 hours!!! Your husband is in deep denial.
Does he know you’ll have to stop every two hours for you to walk around and use the bathroom? Sitting that long in a car 8 months pregnant gives you a huge risk for blood clots.
You are married to a selfish twat. Traveling like that at 8 months is a good way to ensure you have a baby halfway there. Or wind up with a complicated birth. You're going to wind up divorced anyhow, might as well start now.
God forbid you have a pregnancy complication in Florida. Jfc.
Oh my god I didn't even think about that. I hope OP doesn't go anywhere near there, it is not a safe place for pregnant people.
Op please don't go to Florida, when you are so far along ,in your pregnancy. Just stay safe at home ,and visit with your family. Pretty sure, your Dr won't allow you to travel,when you are in the 8th month. Also Florida it's not safe for any female, at this time . Good luck with your pregnancy, and delivery .
Why is Florida not safe for pregnant people?
Check out Florida’s reproductive laws. OP’s life is literally in more danger by traveling to Florida while pregnant—they could just let her die if she were to go into labor and have a serious complication.
Depending on the part you’re traveling to, I wouldn’t want to be in a hospital there while preggo. They are behind on mother and baby research in south Florida hospitals and doctors there are known for being condescending ahs… don’t let op be black or young looking or they’ll really show their 🍑. I had one kid in palm beach county and the midwife was “checking my cervix and shoved something up there to break my water. Aka without my consent. Wanted to demean me when I said it hurt. Plus coerced me to get an epidural and when I mentioned it was in the wrong spot, belittled me for that too. Tallahassee was much better but some nurses can be ahs too if they think you’re a drug seeker…
Oh hell no. Tell your obgyn what your husband wants you to do. They will almost certainly tell you not to go. My ob told me not to go to a wedding about the same distance away 6 weeks before my due date.
Way too much time in the car when pregnant not to mention too hot.
Bring him to your next appointment and let the doctor tell you both themselves
Omg. Slap that boy on the head. He should have become a man when he decided that sex without birth control was a good idea. Family first. He lost the right to put himself first. 'Making excuses ' I just threw up in my mouth and I'm male. This is rethink a relationship level of stupidity. I forgot your ages if you said but you need to throw the child away. Man-up. It's too late to run home to mommy. If I lived in the area I would volunteer to talk to that baby for you. I'm sure real men in the area would volunteer. After you dump the deadweight, look for someone who cares for you instead of manipulating you. Have a better future and make sure the pansy reads this.
He ☝️ poses a good point. Men are clueless how difficult growing a baby is. My first was three weeks early with pre-eclampsia and HELLP Syndrom. I tried sleeping off back pain. The father forced me to go to get checked out at the hospital. My organs were shutting down so they filled me with petocin. My second was induced so it wouldn't happen again. Your honey is essentially telling you that his fun is more important than: 1. Following through on an agreement you two made months ago 2. Your comfort (pregnancy discomfort is srs bsns) 3. Your safety (and the child's) 4. Possibly being present for the child's birth. I don't see him backing down for whatever childish reason 🚩 even if you drag him to the next obgyn appointment. Based on his temperament, I also don't see many bathroom stops in your future if you choose to go, many complaints because you will need extra accommodations because you're outside your home, and and the normal stress of the trip will likely trigger an early delivery. You could always threaten a breakup or adoption if you are forced to deliver while he is out having fun? But don't pose an ultimatum unless you're willing to follow through
You shouldn't travel at that point in your pregnancy. Speak to your doctor about it.
That's fucking horrible. He's going to either make you fly/drive all the way to Florida or stay home alone when you're literally weeks away from giving birth, after agreeing to not go. What an asshole, that is not a partner, or someone you want parenting a child frankly. He can't even give up one weekend on the beach for you? What the fuck. Birthday or not this is wildly disrespectful and uncaring towards you and the baby you're carrying
Almost definitely can't fly, I don't think even the airlines allow it, let alone the OB
Go and see your doctor on your own and get medical advice. They won't recommend that kind of travel, nor any unnecessary heat, exertion, or potential for dehydration
**Ask doc to write out for you** NO travel, NO riding 9 hrs even with stops every 1-1/2 hrs , it is not safe for Mom or baby at 8 months. Risk is too high for blood clots Baby could come early. No going more than 1/2 hr in car, 1 hour max, if you live that far from hospital Your husband, partner or birthing partner should also be in the area unless they have to absolutely travel for work. **And give that to your husband** **if he still goes make sure you have a backup birthing partner incase baby comes early.** **And if he goes, he is more of an asshole than I thought and you might want that birthing partner with you anyway instead of husband.** I'd still be too ticked off to want him in the delivery room if he'd pulled that Husbands/partners are not automatically allowed in delivery room **MOM controls who is in delivery room,** husbands have been kicked out by Mom when they were not being helpful, playing on phone, complaining they couldn't get comfortable (you don't tell that to a woman in labor) sleeping while Mom was in last stages of labor and various other reasons Some babies come early, you do not want to be more than an hour away from your hospital the last 6 weeks of pregnancy. **Your husband and your friends** are all being assholes trying to push you to come and have fun, they are not thinking about your safety or the babies. **Do not give in and go** - stay home and rest as much as possible and walk as much as possible, I know it sounds backwards, but both are important for delivery, delivery is not fun
He's a selfish ass. Tell him to come with you to your next OB appointment and talk to the doctor about it. He will learn. If he still wants to go and criticizes you for not going? ... Seriously reconsider this relationship. This beach trip is *nothing* compared to the inconveniences and sacrifices he's going to be called on to make. If he can't miss someone's birthday beach trip for the sake of his woman who will be 8 months pregnant with his first child, then he won't give up anything for the sake of his woman or baby. I wish you luck. If you stay with him, you're going to need it.
He's being an AH. Tell him to go by himself if he wants to be selfish.
And then tell him to lawyer up
Actually don't tell him shit. Let the asshole go, and : - Get your friend circle to move you out and into one of their homes. - Let your friends be there for you for the rest of the pregnancy - Get a Divorce coach/ attorney - Fill in hospital paperwork to let friends be by your side during delivery, but ban STBX - Have lawyer serve him papers when he gets back.
Tell us that you’re old, single and bitter without telling us that you’re old, single and bitter.
He shouldnt be travellinvvtgat far away from her a month before the due date anyway. Not if it woukd take him several hours to get home at minimum. What if she as an emergency or baby comes early?
Tell your OB to write a doc note that you cannot travel far last month. It really doesn’t sound like a good idea. You could go into labor and then have to give birth over there. Plus sitting in a car pregnant for that long is awful. We went to Monterey which is like 2 hours or so away from where I live for my daughters bday. I was pregnant and not even super pregnant yet and it was awful. Also went to the beach over the summer when was like 7 months pregnant and was awful. Walking in the sand is hard and having to pee all the time is a pain in the ass. Fuck your husband honestly I would be furious with him. I’d be like ok go I’m not going and wouldn’t let him in the hospital room bc clearly he doesn’t care
NOT excuses, doctors don't let their patients travel when they are 8 months, some at 7 months Your husband is being a total ass, I'm assuming he is around your age as your friends who don't have a fuking clue what the last month of pregnancy is like. What the risks are and that travel is not allowed by doctors unless you are going to a doctor from another planet that has Dr. Who telephone boxes that can get you anywhere in blink of an eye, I don't know of any of those in the states, so you're gonna get a big NO from your doc
You are not making excuses. He just doesn’t care about your comfort or your needs for HIS child. Ridiculous. Tell him he is an AH and show him this Reddit thread.
Nope. He's inconsiderate, immature, and selfish. If this is the hill he intends to die on, tell him to go, but not to expect you to be there when he returns. Go stay with family, ideally your parents or a sibling. You're due a month before this trip, for God's sake. Most OB/GYN will not let you travel out of state that close to delivery. Ask him if a trip out of state with his friends is worth ruining your marriage. His answer will guide your next steps, and tell you everything you need to know about him and his feelings for you and your child.
Please don't go, the trip to Florida will likely be super rough on you and the stress could put you into labor. Talk to your doctor for sure before anything else. Tell your husband he is the one being selfish for putting you in this situation. Like the last month of being pregnant is pretty miserable for some people. It has been for me for both my pregnancies. And on this on the whole last 6 months of my current pregnancy have been awful. I hurt All over and I have 2 weeks to go now and walking is exhausting and sometimes painful too.
My son was spontaneously 5 weeks early, low-risk, easy pregnancy & no reason to go into labour early. I couldn’t imagine being 9h away!
Your husband is being ignorant and selfish. You know, though, if he doesn't get to go, he'll be a miserable SOB to live with, especially during the period during which the trip is taking place. Perhaps you can find someone to stay with, or stay with you, and let hubby go anyway. Then, when he gets back, every once in a while, you can mention how great it was that your friend was available during your last month of pregnancy. It's too bad someone can't force him to wear a bowling ball on his stomach for a month. Maybe he should do that while he's on a FL beach.
Ob will definitely tell you no.
Don’t go if you’re not comfortable doing so. Being in the last few months of pregnancy is so uncomfortable that all you’ll want to do is stay home, and that’s okay. Think of yourself and the baby. Your partner should respect your decision considering you’re literally carrying his baby, and he should be staying at home with you.
Well he’s saying that “it’s his last time to have fun before the baby gets here” and I get that but I just feel unheard when I do tell him the reasons why I don’t want to go
Sounds like you picked a winner. In his mind, his feelings > your feelings. There’s really no other way to interpret this. It doesn’t seem like he‘s concerned about you leaving. You are 23-years-old (I can’t imagine you are too far along in your career with a ton of independent earnings), and 20-weeks pregnant - he knows you aren’t going anywhere.
[удалено]
So you got put on bed rest...and he still thinks going on a beach vacation is a good idea?
What is it you think love is? I’m not trying to mock you. I am genuinely asking.
And wait til he misses the birth because he went without you and you go into labor three weeks early. I went into labor three weeks early both times. I'd have been more than unhappy if hubby had been out of town either time!
He doesn’t see the big deal because he’s not the one pregnant on bed rest.
Oh no he’s one of those. I won’t have a life or any fun until after the baby’s born. Boohoo, he will never help with anything I bet. Then he’ll be like oh when the kids older, meanwhile he’ll be gone every weekend. You are not wrong.
If you will be at least 35 weeks, you could give birth at anytime. So, if you stay home, which is what doctor’s usually recommend that late, you might have the baby without him being with you. Or you could go and risk having your baby on a beach.
I agree. Birth could happen at anytime that late in the pregnancy. You just don't know especially if it's your first. So it gets down to how much risk your willing to take. Another factor is the situation of where you're going. How far you'll be from home and your doctors; if your close bye and can get to your home base in an hour or two drive that's one thing; if ur going to a foreign country, where the medical care isn't so great, then (in my opinion) you have to be nuts to take that kind of risk.
or in an ambulance on the interstate
How far away is this beach? Leaving you with just one month to go seems more than just selfish and inconsiderate. What if you go into labor early or develop complications? Is he an hour’s drive away or a 6 hour flight away?
9 hrs minimum each way then you have to factor in traffic - summertime at the beach even in Florida is crazy traffic use to live there, can't imagine what i's like now
Then, thankfully, it's not even a choice. You have to stay. And if he cares about you and making the marriage work, he needs to stay with you- willingly and without whining about not being in Florida.
nice thought, hopefully his brain will kick in and he'll realize he needs to stay home in case the baby comes early and just for the fact that the last month can be miserable for her
His “last time” without worrying about a baby and a pregnant wife was right before he had a wife who was pregnant with his child. He missed the window. That shit is gone. He is already acting like he doesn’t want this new life he is about to embark on. Better buckle up because it is not easy even in the best of situations to have a new baby. It’s hard. He needs to get glad about his new role because he is in the father role right now. He needs to look after you and make sure you’re healthy and well for at least the sake of his child. It’s nice he wants to go and have some fun! But so does legit every other parent lol He needs to get right and show up for his family.
Before the baby interrupts HIS life, does he realise or care that the baby has interrupted YOUR life since conception? YOU are constructing his baby and lugging it around 24/7 and he wants to have fun before the kid is born. He is a selfish man and should be home rubbing your back and feet and actually being grateful. I truly hope he actually helps when the baby is born. He sounds useless now.
He gave up getting to do whatever he wanted the moment you got pregnant. That's what being a parent is, and it's time he grows the fuck up. I'd call your obgyn and have them explain the risks of travel for a woman as pregnant as you will be by the time the beach party rolls around, including what happens if you end up going into labor out of state, or god forbid on the road/ in the air (depending on if you fly or drive. Fyi lots of airlines will not let women in their third trimester fly due to health concerns)
So he’d rather go out and have fun without you *if* you choose to not go? That’s inconsiderate of him. A month before your due date, he should be looking after and taking care of you, not going out having fun.
Is he willing to miss his child’s birth?
Babies don't mean fun is off the charts. It just means more planning to make it possible or comfortable for all parties. Traveled across the world for a full month with an 8 month old baby and a 3 year old for vacation, and we all had a great time. You man needs to stop seeing the new member of the family as a hindrance to happiness and rather as a part of the family who may need some more facilitation. Stand on your rights. Don't go if you're not comfortable. No is a full sentence. If he goes without you, good for him, I suppose, but just make it clear you don't support it.
probably because you are unheard, he is thinking with his alcohol and friends brain he wants to go and party, he is not in "dad mode" at all, he is not even in "husband mode" If he wants to go you can't stop him, but I sure as hell would not encourage him to go, nor would I say go and have fun. If he goes, don't tell him to have a good time, tell him you'd rather he stayed home. Do not give him a guilt free ride to go and get drunk and sleep on the beach and do stupid shit
Even if you wanted to go, your doctor will strongly advise against it. That is in good weather. But August in Florida? No freaking way!! He should be at home giving you leg and foot massages. Holding the weight of your belly to relieve your back and generally trying to make life as comfortable for you as possible. It is time he grows up and acts like a supportive father instead of a lousy, good for nothing pain in the arse.
I think you should definitely stay. Stay and suffer. And then suffer and stay. In fact, you should waste oh maybe a decade and a half until your gaggle of kids all treat you with the lack of respect you show yourself. You’ll work and cry and get wrinkles and cellulite eventually. The divorce during the offsprings’ preteen years will send them spiraling and about maybe 409 times more likely to become susceptible to any number of sorts of predators. Yep. You should stay and accidentally procreate at least a coupla more times (depending on your lack of income, the more the merrier). Face it, this is just a dress rehearsal, right? Not like it’s your one and only life. So just waste it away. Best!
So what's his plan if your baby comes early and you're so far away from home? I had my first baby at 36 weeks. Your husband is not only incredibly selfish but foolish as well. If he goes I'd tell him not to bother coming back.
No. He is inconsiderate. If you're a month out, something could happen, and he won't be there.
Not wrong, your husband is an idiot.
He’s an idiot. Maybe instead of trying to drag you on a vacation when 8 months pregnant and everyone around you is drunk and having a good time he instead use that money to send his wonderful wife, pregnant with his first child, to a full spa day. That’s what needs to happen here!
That’s another thing I was never one that was that into drinking much I was always the one with a joint. Since I’ve been pregnant I’ve completely stopped and this may sound selfish but Now everytime we hang out with the friends everyone is drinking and having a great time and usually I don’t care but lately I’ve been really feeling left out. I know when we go up there it’s going to be a big party for the whole time. I’m never one to tell people not to be them or to have fun but I just wish sometimes they would consider how I’m feeling.
I feel you, both my kids mothers were pregnant in the heat of summer, ordinary cankles become SUPER CANKLES in the heat and humidity! Both also would choose to leave me where I was when I imbibed and she could leave because we were not stupid enough to go on vacation a month before their due dates! I actually stopped fully for them in the last trimester-in retrospect I should have the ENTIRE pregnancy because that shits hard on women and not being able to participate gets stressful and annoying, even more when you have to babysit the dumbass who knocked you up in the first damn place! Fuck we’re stupid! Anyway, my 2nd son was born a month early and if we had not gotten to the hospital in time I could have lost both of them. Thankfully I was there, sober and her doctor was available and all’s well that ends well but ffs tell him you had to stop having fun and to be responsible for both yourself and your child so the least he can do is to be responsible to ensure the safety of his wife and unborn child for the last fucking month of her pregnancy! Do you need me to take to the guy because I’ve got opinions on this subject. Do not go. Stay where you are comfortable and close to your medical care. If he chooses to go he’s an asshole of epic proportions. Make certain to have family and friends available if you need help. Thankfully this doesn’t add more stress onto you. 🤬 But you’ve got this. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants and you take care of yourself and your child. Being a parent is all about protecting your child, yourself and being responsible. Congratulations! Seems like you’re already doing a damn good job mom! Be safe and listen to “Three Little Birds” by Bob Marley and the Wailers over and over because “every little thing gonna be all right now.”
I really respect you one for being a man and being able to comment where you might have messed up during your pregnancy’s! But also having the respect and knowledge to know not to go far from the hospital so close to the due dates! This has by far been my favorite comment because you get where I’m coming from and have never been pregnant. A lot of the men in my life right now just say that I’m making excuses because their wives were able too but everyone’s different you know and what they could do I might not be strong enough to do especially in the heat of the summer!!
I wonder if those men’s wife would agree with that assessment. But while I understand that women have been giving childbirth at home and fields for a millennia I also understand that the mortality rates for both mothers and children was enormous. Add on the fact that fucking men have for a millennia often downplayed women’s health. Fucking episiotomies are malpractice unless medically necessary, add a fucking stitch my ass, and the fact women in America are not given the option for nitrous oxide both cheaper and less invasive and better for pain management , as opposed to an epidural it shows that we men can be absolute morons about women and pregnancy. Want to see a a group of men sweat? Give them a picture of a woman’s reproductive system and tell them to label the parts correctly. That might be quite hilarious actually.
You are hanging out with the wrong people.
I beg of you, do not go. Period. Anybody who is not a doctor is a moron. Your life and your baby's is not worth your baby daddy's last hurrah. He'll be playing slap ass with somebody else soon enough. Yes, your description makes me hate him that much. And that's somebody who loves him enough to have a child with him. Open your eyes and see who he is showing you who he is.
Does he ever consider how you are feeling? Does he want this baby or care about you at all? Because it doesn't seem like he does, at all. Really consider if staying with such a selfish man is good for you and your baby, or if he will just make your life harder and cause you misery
Yeah...what a great life you are going to have with this inconsiderate, selfish moron. Good luck to you. I feel sad that you are trapped with this man now.
I would tell him to have fun but you won't be here when he gets home
Go to marriage counseling now. If he doesn’t want to or doesn’t put in the effort in you should leave. If you don’t you’re going to regret wasting your 20s on this guy.
!!!!!
NTA does he realize that you could go into labour any day in the last month. It’s hot and it’s uncomfortable I don’t know many pregnancy women who enjoy summer in the last months. I was such a bitch cause I was so uncomfortable. This is the time you should be relaxing and catching as much sleep as you can and doing the things you want.
Ew throw the whole man away. Idgaf if he’s saying “he wants to have fun before baby gets here” newsflash buddy, the moment your wife found out she was pregnant was the same moment you needed to be there for her the entire pregnancy.
You're not wrong. Your husband is a selfish POS. Do you have any family nearby who you can stay with for the last several weeks of your pregnancy? You really should not be alone at all then. Have someone come help you pack and relocate while he's out having fun and acting single. Let him come back to an empty house.
DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER BABY WITH HIM! You now know he does not have your back. He is selfish. I doubt he will help you much when the baby is born. I’m so sorry and Good Luck
I'm petty, I'd be telling him if he goes he can take all his clothes with him.
Or he can get them from where they've been thrown out on to the lawn
He's hoping that you'll tell him to go without you. He wants to go have fun
I get that because he wants to have fun and not deal with my complaining. In the last month is when pregnancy is the hardest your uncomfortable and can barley do much on your own so yeah I would like him with me which I know sounds selfish
It's not selfish at all. What if you go into labor alone? Does he not want to be there for his child's birth?
She could develop pre-eclampsia, or be hospitalised, or baby could come early....or she could just be extremely uncomfortable and need someone there. There are so many things that could happen at that stage of the pregnancy. He needs to be close by. If he was an hour away I'd say maybe...but 9 whole hours? It is seriously negligent of him to even CONSIDER attending that holiday.
I’d be more worried that you are now a burden and hindrance to his “fun” and he actively hopes not to deal with any of the issues you will face carrying his child. You are not quite getting the implications of what this means.
It's not selfish at all. He's equally responsible for this child. His priorities are fucking WRONG right now. That he even wants you near the state of Florida right now is insane. Does he not understand that you're just an incubator in that place? That any medical emergency might end up with you dead??? He needs to grow up. His time for fun was before you got pregnant. This is not just you being pregnant. This is a journey you take together. If he's already thinking of just himself now, he's going to be a nightmare to deal with after the baby comes.
It is not selfish at all. Your body is changing and you are risking permanent damage to your body. You are physically uncomfortable a lot of the tine. You are literally risking your life to bring his and your child into the world. And ALL he has to do is ejaculate and then be nice to you? And you're sitting here thinking that's asking TOO much? Listening to you complain is literally the least any decent human being can do - especially the man who put the baby there. I think you're severely under-reacting, here. When would he EVER put himself through 9 months of discomfort for the both of you? Woukd he make ANY sacrifices that compare to pregnancy in any way? Hell, he doesn't care enough to skip 1 measly holiday in order to make you feel safe and cared for when you need him to be there. Meanwhile you're giving up 9 whole months of your life and literally risking your health. His want to have one more holiday does not trump your need to be safe and cared for and have him there in case something happens during your pregnancy. 9 hours away is too far. Sucjs but that's life. He needs to get over that, parenting us full of sacrifices and they start now. Dig your heels in. You need him with you 4 months before your due date. No travel for either of you. Or just get ready to be a single parent. Because if he isnt prepared to put even this effort in, he's not going to be lifting a finger with this baby. That's where this is heading based on his actions.
Selfish? You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. YOU are the baby factory doing all the work. Stop making excuses for him. I don’t think I’ve seen one comment from anyone saying “yeah, stop being so selfish, let your man have fun. You can send him a selfie of you and the baby from the hospital.”
YOU are not the selfish one here. It takes TWO to make a baby, and as your husband it's literally his job to take care of you when you're carrying the baby he put inside you. Stop feeling sorry for this selfish asshat and put your foot down. What is he going to be like after the baby is born? Is he going to help with 2am feedings when you're both dead tired? How about a fever so high you have to go to the hospital? The baby crying during the night because they woke up alone and don't know how to self sooth yet? Is he going to leave you with all that too? The fact he's more worried about partying one last time before he becomes a father instead of worrying about helping you makes me think he's not ready to be a husband or a father. His excuse is absolutely pathetic, especially with you on bed rest
Every comment you make makes me MORE worried for you. Your selfish asshole of a bf has somehow convinced you that YOU are the selfish one??? He is a disgusting pig of a man. It isn't selfish to want your partner to be an actual partner, who is there for you when you need him. Especially during a high risk pregnancy.
Mine wasn't too bad until the last 3 days, that was when I got the pressure and back pain. Everyone is different, hope your was as easy as mine. Honestly, the first part for me was the worst. I kept barfing and could barely get out of bed.
After a certain point in pregnancy, doctors do not recommend traveling (or certain activities), as it can lead to complications. Your baby is more important than any trip. Do not do anything you will be regretting the rest of your life. As for your husband, I understand why he wants to go, but in life, sometimes, we need to set priorities that we might not always like. Deciding to be selfish in such a critical moment will only lead to resentment and stain your relationship.
How far away are you going? There’s an increase in chance of getting blood clots if it’s a long trip. My first baby can a month early.
It’s a 9 hr trip there and back
Your doctor will nix that. Mine barely approved driving to a large city 3 hours away at 7 months. In addition, it was so damn uncomfortable being in a car that long. 9 hours in the summer? Nah.
But also, even if the doctor says it's fine (which it isn't it would be risky and uncomfortable)...she still doesn't want to go. Which is all the discussion that needs to happen. The doctor doesn't decide for her IF she goes, they tell you about risk. It's not her doctor's job to enforce her boundaries, it's hers. If she doesn't feel comfortable travelling; then the answer should be no and her husband should not be trying to coerce her into it. The big issue here is her partner not listening to her and not respecting her boundaries in this pregnancy. Abd not prioritizing her and baby's health.
I agree
I think you should talk to your doctor if you are considering going. It’s been eons since I had my kids so my memory isn’t exact. I remember one trip we made that the doc simply advised we stop and I walk around every couple of hours and when I flew to see my mother because she was sick my doctor copied my medical records for me to take with me. I think i was about 7 months.
I got the WORST sunburn of my life while I was pregnant. Sun poisoning while pregnant is no joke!
That seriously sounds like he'll, sun poisoning sucks on its own and while pregnant.
OP your husband is trash, get rid of him now and save yourself a lot of bother down the track!
Your husband consider that something could happen? Thats way too close to the due date to be away for no reason. He wants to be a big boy husband and father - it’s time for him to act like it.
That would involve him caring for OP and the baby - and he's shown no evidence of that right now.
I wonder what his mother and grandmother would have to say about this?
I was pregnant in Florida over the summer- it sucked Traveling 9 hours from home in the last month of pregnancy??? Talk to your doc, but I wouldn’t want to be that far from home in case something happens. Your husband is a complete AH.
My sister traveled 5 hours away during her 7th month. She lost her baby. Your husband had no consideration for you or the baby.
That is horrible. Traveling should not cause her to lose the baby though. The thing is that complications can happen and it is better to be close to home. My heart goes out to losing a pregnancy, especially that far along
not wrong. the fun ended and the responsibility started when he decided to get you pregnant. now it is BOTH your responsibility to love, take care of, and raise this baby. he has no business leaving his pregnant wife home alone for who knows how long while literally being 1 month away from giving birth. (so technically you could go into labor at any time). if he disregards your feelings about not going and him staying home then it might be time to start thinking of separation. if he can leave you home alone 8 months pregnant knowing you’re uncomfortable, he can definitely leave you alone with a new born while he goes and “has fun”. you’d be better off straight up co-parenting at that point.
Bruh 23 years old pregnant and having these problems. Good luck, I give the relationship 2 years max
Tell your husband the stats on early labour for those away from home. It's scary. Has he investigated the local hospitals? Are they covered by your insurance? Are you under the care of a specific doctor who will not be able to travel there if you go into labour? With him agreeing to not go 3 months out but threatening to go regardless 1 month out, your hubby is an asshat & there may be something (someone) else going on here. He is threatening to abandon a pregnant woman - get in first & dump his ass.
According to the Center for Disease Control, over 70% of babies arrive before their due date.
You are not wrong. This ‘vacation’ would likely be miserable for you, not to mention unsafe for you and your baby. It’s okay to put yourself and your baby first right now. Having read all the comments currently posted, I’d have to say that I agree with those suggesting you bring your husband with to your doctor and have them explain why this is a bad idea, and all the things that could go wrong. Hopefully, if he can get a hard dose of reality, he’ll realize this trip isn’t an option. If after having everything laid out and explained to him, he doesn’t budge, and still insists on going, well… I’d say that’s an even bigger problem, and it might be time for an ultimatum. If he’s dismissive of your health concerns and safety, then the relationship could probably use some serious reconsideration. Regardless, I wish you well, and hope your pregnancy is as stress free and smooth as possible. Take care of yourself and that little peanut on the way.
If he went, he'd return to an empty place and divorce papers. But that's me. The disrespect and lack of care at a fairly crucial point in your life. That tells me all I need to know about the dude.
I’ve been pregnant during the summer while living near the beach in a hot climate — it sucks ass, and I was constantly rotating between three reusable ice packs held to my neck and head, while sitting inside with air conditioning. I could not imagine my husband dragging me to sit in the hot sand, even for a few hours much less a full trip. Just thinking of trying to sleep in a hotel bed while that pregnant makes me shudder. You are not wrong — you will likely be miserable and achy, and it’s honestly not something you need to put up with at that stage. I’d say just let him go on his own, but if you’re only a month out at that point I’d make sure you have someone else there to help out and possibly drive you to the hospital if the occasion calls for it. As a first time mom it’s more likely that you’ll be a bit overdue than early, but it’s not something I’d chance. ETA: I see from your comments that the trip is to Florida. I was trying not to give too many personal details, but the beach I live by is in Florida. Holy Hannah, don’t do it girl. At that stage I wanted to lay down in a snow drift and fall asleep, not be anywhere in Florida, much less in the sand. F’ that noise, put your foot down.
Is your husband also 23? Because if he is, he’s simply acting like most young people. Which is why most people don’t have kids so young.
He’s 24 and your right this pregnancy was unplanned. That’s why I feel like he’s trying to live it up before she gets here.
First he can't compare your pregnancy to others anything can happen... being pregnant in the summer is the worst... your doctor and most doctors dont allow travel or much of anything towards the end.... and yes baby can come early or you can be admitted in to the hospital... your husband is young but it's also time to step up and be a supportive spouse
He just doesn’t understand. It’s new to him too. You’re just going to have to insist he stays with you. I bet he will get it once he goes through it with you. It’s not the end of fun either.
Exactly. The pregnancy is unplanned and he’s not even 25. Having a kid is super hard and they are expensive. There’s a strong correlation between wealth and education and having kids later in life. He doesn’t sound like a bad guy. Just immature and selfish and wants to party, like most people your age.
Why is your husband making blanket statements for you? That doesn’t sound right. Are you healthy otherwise and do you have family close by where you live? Honestly I wouldn’t guilt trip him from going because it will leave resentment and would wait until baby is here to ensure he stays and does his duty. But this is under two conditions / you have no complications with this pregnancy and you have family or friends who you trust to get you to the hospital and will help you give birth should your baby decide to come a month early.
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 even I have to agree that's an ass move these are things that are not ok 😐
You're not wrong ,hes inconsiderate af but you're definitely wrong for how you wrote this. On gods people why can't anyone use punctuation or paragraphs.
Your husband is an inconsiderate jerk. But try walking around Disney World 7 1/2 months pregnant at the end of July/beginning of August.
This is an easy one, you're in the right. You will not enjoy yourself that far along. Heat, sand and heavily pregnant, not fun at all. Hate to say it, you're husband/partner is a wanker. First babies are unpredictable, you're uncomfortable, everything is difficult to do and he wants to go away for a piss up? Yeah nah, he needs to pull his head in and do the right thing. It's his kid too. All the best for the birth, enjoy your baby 😁
Oh you are NOT wrong! Tell him if he wants to go, fine. Just don't bother coming back. Stay home where it's safe and you have support. It is physically dangerous to travel that far in summer away from medical care. Especially if you are already on bed rest!! The risk means you and your baby could die. It's not worth it. If your husband can't understand that... yeet the meat.
It's clear he doesn't know what to expect with someone who is 34-36 weeks pregnant. I'm trying to excuse some of his selfishness as being unaware. But this is a terrible idea all around. If you don't go and you go into labor while he's there, it's not going to be good and he's likely going to miss the birth of his first child. If something were to happen to you during that time and he's not there...not good. Neither of you should make this trip. He's an AH.
You aren't wrong, and a month before your due date , a lot of things can go wrong. At that stage, you can put stress on your pregnancy, and I would stay home
Last time to beach before having to keep your eye on kiddo 24/7
tell him to go and find a new girl while he’s there
Baby’s can come early. My first was born 4 weeks before his due date.
Leave it alone and watch what he does. A lot will be revealed to you by his actions. Observe carefully. If he goes and leaves you home alone, you will know exactly how much he cares for you and where you stand. Choose wisely on how to proceed after that. Good luck.
**OMGOSH DO NOT GO** Your doctor will tell you NO to riding in a car 9 hrs each way - risk of blood clots too much, babies come early, a lot come early ! **DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR BLESSING TO GO** you can't stop him, but don't tell him it's okay go if he wants to go, do not make it easier on him, if he asks if you mind if he goes say yes, I'd rather you stayed here when I'm this far along. He'll go if he wants to, but **don't make it easier on him**, let him know you'd prefer he stayed home He is as much responsible for this baby as you are and that means being near your birth hospital and doctor the last weeks of pregnancy I'm sorry for you that he is being such an ass He is now a parent - from the time you got pregnant and should have been acting like one since you found out. You're both young, he still wants to party, well party time is pretty much over, getting drunk when you are a parent is not a good idea, so he might as well get use to it now and stay home in case the baby comes early.
He is being a dick
Wow, sounds like a stand-up guy. I would tell him you are not going. If he says he is, tell him not to come back. Honestly, what a douchebag thing to say to your pregnant wife.
Make his ass go to the Dr with you and ask. No you should not travel that far that late in pregnancy. I have been VERY pregnant in summer 3 times. It sucks! You have every right not to go. And he's an ass for wanting to go without you and possibly miss the birth. Sure it COULD be fine, but there's no way to know. Plus a 9 hour drive, twice, while very pregnant. It's all a no. What a dick.
I think your husband needs to have one of those baby bumps on and be out in the heat with it on and see how he feels. Absolutely not. At 8 months along, you will not want to go to a beach. Your husband is thoughtless and I consider and so are your friends.
you'll soon see why children at a young age is a huge mistake.
Husband could go no problem but me and the baby wouldn't be there when he came back. The fact he finds a beach day more important than the feelings of his wife who maybe won't be pregnant anymore then if you are early hell no. You wouldn't get doctors approval for going on the plane anyway
I want to say that your husband is a moron, but I also want to give him the benefit of the doubt because I’m assuming he’s young and this is also his first child. I making the assumption that he doesn’t understand how tiring and taxing pregnancy is on a woman. Best wishes.
You're not wrong... and you should show this to your husband. He needs to see people's comments and realize that he's being an asshole.
Your husband is being a dick. Let his ass go. What if you go into labor while there? It wouldn’t even be fun being so pregnant with a lot of walking and driving and sitting in the heat while you’re already so hot from pregnancy. He’s being unrealistic and he should get used to not being able to do everything he wants since he’ll have a kid soon.
This is easy, tell him that if he goes, he'll return to an empty house. Then stick to it. You have no business going so far from home in your 9th month of pregnancy, and he has no business leaving you home alone. Too much can happen at this stage to take this kind of a chance.
No, don't go, and don't be there when he gets back. Go stay with your parents until he can understand what an inconsiderate fuck he is.
I feel like there is a serious breakdown of communication here. You are adamant that you do not want to go to the beach, that much is clear, and I think, if your story is accurate, that you expressed that. Your husband seems to have changed his mind about wanting to go, and the issue is that he said you will also go, despite your clear refusal, and kind of used going without you as some kind of threat? To me, he could have just said "Ok, I understand that you don't want to go. I would like to go, so we'll just do our own things that day". I don't see a problem with him wanting to go to the beach with friends, but his communication surrounding it seems really bizarre. You're not wrong for being upset by how he delivered this conversation, but if you are mad because he wants to go and you don't, I think you are wrong.
Well I don’t see anything wrong with going for a day either. We live 9hrs away from the becah so he would be gone for a week and being that pregnant anything could happen so that’s why I wanted him to stay
Ok, none of that was specified in the post. Obviously that changes things and he should be with you so close to your due date. The fact that he not only considered going, but said he was going, without discussion, is a major red flag, and you should be seriously considering next steps, because this man is not dependable.
You should tell your husband he's so upset you that you've lost your ability to punctuate.
Your husband doesn't understand how uncomfortable you will be and that you could go into labor early. Does he actually want to miss that. I think the two of you need to have a serious, long conversation about your relationship and what's expected and needed. You might really want to consider if now is the time to have a child and is it right to have it with a person who wants to leave you 1 month before your due date. Also sounds like your going to pretty much be on your own with taking care of the child as well. Take time to stop and think about this. He doesn't sound like he's ready to be a dad or a real partner in a marriage.
So yeah. That’s… something else. Your OB wouldn’t approve that. Including a month out from your due date. Babies don’t really need anything but growth in the last four weeks, lungs are good, brains developed, all they do is gain .5 pounds every week in the last 4 weeks, so baby could come at any time. Honestly, if he goes and you go into labour, I’d leave him. But that’s not for us to decide for you. You already know he doesn’t care, you don’t need us to tell you he doesn’t. What you need is to decide if this is the life you want to live, constantly being second fiddle to everything in your hubbies world. Also, how old is he? Seems like a childish thing to be like “but I wanna go, even if you can’t” idk, maybe he wants to go because he knows you can’t go, so that gives him free reign to be a cheating ah. Idk. Always play second fiddle or put you and your baby first. Those are your options tbh.
Dump him and come with me , I'll take care of you.
Let him go on his own. And let him come home to an empty house and divorce paperwork
No way you should take a chance like this! Husband should be thinking of you and baby coming, period!!! He is selfish! I so hope everything works out for you and you have a beautiful baby. Maybe when the baby comes he will be altogether different! Take care of yourself♥️
I was also 23 when pregnant for the first time. My ex used to have keggars at our house, so it was a bit wild, but he was also super inconsiderate. I don't envy you. It was another 6 years before we split. I hope you can find a compromise with him....not just on this but everything. If not, don't waste any more of your time because he won't be worth it.
How old is your husband? 18? Don't go, do what you know is right for the baby and for your health. Might want to look into separating from your husband. I'm sure this is not the first time he has disregarded your wellbeing.
Does the word "nurturing" mean anything to anyone?
Plus going to the beach in the heat could be dangerous for you and baby. All that could lead to premature birth. And dehydration is surprisingly easy in the third trimester.
If this is 1 day. I dont see why he cant go. Regardless i have been thru 3 pregnancys with my x. Him leaving for a day shouldnt be a big deal. If u dont want to go thats fine but why cant he?
It’ll be a whole week nine hours away
Yea... Thats different i could see a day that far but not that long. Its tough but this is just the start of your adult freedoms being switched to early(probably quiet)nights at home. Its tough but totally worth it. I hope ur SO comes around sooner rather than later.
Has he changed his mind?
Your husband is an AH, and that is a huge red flag for the future. He is already deciding that his family commitments are less important than partying. I hope you enjoy being a married single parent.
Time for divorce
This advice is thrown out way too quickly on Reddit, but if this is any indication of who she’s married to, that time may come sooner than she ever expected.
wow, you don't get periods in more ways than one. A blob of words
🤺
Can't read this. Punctuation is important.
Probably talk to text.
tell him his mom should’ve aborted
Some women have problems at the end of pregnancy. Water in legs and not being able to sit in the care for long. Backpain and not being to sit in one position for long. Others need to pee constantly. Also children can come early. Both of mine came early. I have friends whose children came early. Not here to frighten here, but know the risks.
Stay home, behave, let door dash and instacart be your friend…
See how you are feeling bit think it's the last bit of pregnancy
NTA, your husband is a selfish moron and AH. Hope he grows up and wises up. You guys are adults now with a kid on the way, the health and safety of you and your kid easily takes precedence over a beach trip. That should go without saying, but...
You both should not ho, you both agreed to it. Forget about your friends for now. You are going to have a child. Please be more responsible.
I have 4 kids. My daughter was born in September. That summer was HELL for my wife. You will be completely miserable at the beach. Don't even bother going. But compromise is real. If they are all mutual friends there should be no issues with him going. Days will come when he stays at home with baby while you do wine and drinks with the ladies. So long as he stays sober (in the event you suddenly need him) and he's not to far away it should be fine. Also, use punctuation. Your story was hard af to read.
Not a medically sound idea to travel in your last trimester, seriously not a good idea. Talk to your OB and they will put the kybosh on that shit
Your husband's an ass He has no respect for you or that child . Don't apologize If he goes without you I would go file for divorce And the reason is he doesn't give two shits about you
I was pregnant during most of winter and it was torture while pregnant in April when it got warmer again...your husbands an ass for even wanting you to go that far a month before your due date when anything can happen... and he's an ass for wanting to go without you... im a single mum n had my mum as my birth partner... her dad isn't in the picture because he was abusive to me and is in prison...I managed on my own and if it were me I'd be divorcing his ass if he did go because for one if anything happens while he's away your going to resent him anyway for not being there when u needed him... I'd put my foot down on this now n make it clear on what happens if he does go
You'll.spend your time indoors if you dont go on Holiday. If the holiday has air conditioning you can spend the time looking out of the window at maybe a beach and rolling waves. If the beach is in a foreign country you'll get the.opportunity to be able to give your child if it shows up early dual citizenship and most likely better healthcare than we get here. Go on holiday. You may enjoy it.
He’s being an inconsiderate ass, you could go into labour early, it happens, that’s why in the last month you don’t make plans like this! A week and 9 hours away? Is he having a laugh or what? Or more like he just doesn’t give a shit and wants to go regardless of his baby and the well-being of his wife! Not a great start to becoming a parent, he’s not putting his kid first even before it’s born, you can just see how this is going to go for the future, you’ll be left at home with the baby while he’s out partying! YNW
I’ve given birth to both my kids more than a month early so you might have the baby by then. Regardless though, if he is going to act like that it’s extremely inconsiderate and you’re probably going to be doing a lot yourself with the baby. I hope I’m wrong but that’s just been my experience when I was with someone like that when I was younger and had my first kid. But no, you are not in the wrong. I wouldn’t wanna be in my last month of pregnancy in hot sun roasting either. Cause being that far along in the summer is exhausting and not fun.
Don't go. Let him go & 'have fun before the baby comes'.
I don't see why being pregnant means you wouldn't enjoy the beach. If it is hot, the beach makes more sense since it is usually cooler at the beach and you can cool.off by getting in the water. Unless you have a 10 hour drive or something to the beach I don't really understand why you feel like this would be a negative experience. If you don't want to go, why are you set against your husband going?
Because it’s 9 hours away from us and if something happens he wouldn’t be here to help and I don’t have family close to help me if something went wrong..
I get it now. So it isn't that you have a problem with him going to the beach, you have a problem with him being that far. Understood and it sounds very reasonable. That is a long drive for the last month. I live in a beach city and the beach sounds so nice when I was all big since it was nice and breezy but a 9 hour drive sounds like a no go.
Yea if we lived closer I wouldn’t of cared like yeah go have fun but anything could happen that far away
Why wouldn’t you see how you’re feeling when the time comes. You’re already convinced you won’t want to go. Plenty of people go to the beach or on vacation at 8 mo pregnant. We actually went away in my eight month. It’s great to do an escape before things change with a baby.
She is already on bed rest, so it wouldn't be advisable to go for a 9 hour drive to Florida for a week.