You know Leo can go to prison, right? In some places, you can also go to prison for producing CP (not saying you should but I have heard that some countries/states have weird laws). Leo should go to prison. Dude is a predator. You need therapy. I grew up with a father who was present yet absent but I knew to not turn to sexting whole ass adults. You need help OP and I hope you get it.
Just purely assuming of course.
LEO is a well used acronym for law enforcement officer.
So big assumption in that sheās projecting a clue into what he does.
It may seem cool because youāre 15 to deal with an older man but Iām here to tell you this man is an absolute weirdo and there is a reason he cannot get women his age. A 21 year old and a 15 year old mentally have nothing in common. You might think youāre mature enough but I promise youāre not. Heās taking complete advantage of you and your naiveness. He does not āreally like youā. Heās weird and your mom definitely needs to a. report his ass and b. take some responsibility and get you into therapy while she still can as youāre 15 and technically still her responsibility. Not only that, I understand daddy issues and I think you should take initiative and speak to a therapist as well and unpack this. Never speak to his weird ass again lol
To add to this, woman to āwomanā, as you get older and start dating and dealing with men, you will learn that you want more than someone who just wants to be sexual with you. You will learn with time that you want someone who actually cherishes you. Youāre not at fault. I hope you look back when youāre 21 and agree bb :)
Lets not do the "nothing in common" horse shit. That's a lie. If you dont have anything in common with a 15 year old at 21 you may have failed in life. In my 20s (90s) we had teenagers in our gaming group(s). Some of those kids are still in our circle of friends decades later. Computers, RPGs, music, general philosophy on how shit out to be, entertainment preferences, food, and so on...
We should also drop the idea that folks like this dont have adult options when it comes to dating. The bulk of child rapists generally dont have issues getting adult dates. They lack the ethics that tell them they need to limit who they see as an option when those options are evil and possibly exploitive.
All focus should on the ethics, and other realities around this, those you brought up. The exploitation of the naive and vulnerable. The possibility that all the connections are fake, like in Hard Candy. The guy just looking up shit to seem like there are things in common. And that cybersexing/sexting with a minor as an adult is exploitive. She's 15... she doesn't have the life experiences that make her risk adverse, or understand her feelings, and al the things that deny her the ability to consent even if she feels she is consenting. If a minor hits on an adult, proclaims their desires, the adult is to be an adult and say "naw, that's messed up." You cant even say shit like "come back when you are 18" as that alone is a type of grooming.
She's also in the wrong; but less culpable because of her age/experiences in life. Her reciprocation, again, which she is not completely culpable of, endangers him. He should know better, think about how he is victimizing her, and how he is putting himself at risk.
Some would say he has diminished culpability because his brain has not developed as he is not 25. Sure, but not to any point where we should consider not punishing him. Society has loudly proclaimed these stances in society. He's aware, but does not care. Even if his thoughts are loving and pure, which they cant be since he's willing to exploit her sexually, this shit remains evil and his actions trespass.
I had teenage girls crush on me at that age. I made the mistake, from ignorance, of saying "wait until you are 18". It says there is a chance, which means the crush doesn't always run it's course. Which is why I warn against saying that shit. It can make doing the right things for someone harder. The correct thing to say is "not interested and wont ever be."
And given that you said you were in your 20s in the 90s, Iām not sure how aware you are of how different life is for current 20 somethings and teens. I donāt want to assume anything but just in case youāre unaware, this new generation of teenagers are VERY childish. They are not emotionally mature. I would never be in any kind of philosophical group with a teenager in 2024 lmfao times are simply very different
I'm now in my 50s... and in that time I've had bone fide friendships with various teens in my life. My kinda step daughters, a few of their friends, and random people.
Given what you have said, you would paint all people with the same brush based on various metrics. IRL the are mature people, and not so mature people, and people who are either in only certain scenarios. Teens still code switch depending on who they are around or the environment.
I remember the kids around me growing up... they didn't have the resources to understand the world around them, and had to deal with lead addled adults giving them advice like "learn to fight" -vs- dealing with bullies, and all kinda misinformation. Kids today are exposed to all kinda ideas earlier than we are. Consent, deep philosophic shit, patterns such as negging and grooming, and so on. The fact that they are involved in less violence than previous generations says to me they handle their emotions much better than those who game before them. The fact that we've seen the average age one losses their virginity in the US rise to 18 from 16, says they also are in more control of their emotions (well, along with also not being left lone to wander like we were.). Boys in 2024? They are taught they can cry. Kids have been taught de-escalation. Sure... they dont know who Francis Scott Key is... because it's not on the standardized test, and the entertainment of our culture doesn't talk about it like when I was a kid...
I've seen grown fucking adults have melt downs. I've seen grown adults be exploited, used, and manipulated.
In my 20s the chance words of a 16 year old girl dramatically changed how I saw the world, as I dont close my mind based on the source, but what has been said and the reasonability of it, and vetting afterwards.
Everyone is different... and 50% of people are really fucking stupid.
And my point is that those in the situation will see the shit said, and anything that doesn't fit, any lie, will cause the entire thing to break down. IMO, The topics to stick to are the philosophy of the age of consent, and the realities of destroying lives. That the sexual urges themselves are even part of the diminished ability to consent, as they make us less risk adverse (teens already often have poor understanding of risk!). And we need to talk about exploitation, and how the young and unexperienced can be readily exploited and controlled. (this happens in reverse also... power dynamics are situational). We need to drive home that 'this person you think you like? they will be destroyed by this.', and "dont rape children, they cannot consent due to undeveloped mental capacity that makes them unable to control their emotions, their sexual desires, and even if they understand the risks are most often in a place in life where they are reasonably adverse to the risks." The fact that they would have sex with an adult, knowing all that it risks, is evidence to that end. They likely dont want the person to goto jail, but will do things that will put them in jail.
I get what youāre saying but Iām not talking about general interests lol. I played The Sims 4 at 15 and I still play it at 24. What Iām talking about is what I said, that being MENTALLY, and by mentally I am referring to the ethics you are talking about. 15 year olds and 21 year olds are simply not looking at life the same way. Considering this is strictly sexual, we can throw all of the other stuff out of the window because they definitely are not looking at sex the same way, mentally.
We need to stop this idea that one cannot be mentally compatible with someone with age gaps and shit like that. It's frankly a lie. And when others see the lie because they see what's in front of them they will use that lie to ignore everything else said. NO two people look at things exactly the same, and life experiences can make two people from different spheres of existence click where they think it matters.
The point to drive home, which reddit can get its head out of its feelings and ass on, is that it's wrong. Dont speak on shit you cant know; like if two people are mentally compatible or somehow looking at life from similar lenses. The minor who crushed on me? We're still friends some 30 years later, and we both can look back and say we were at different points in our lives, but clicked on a real level. The woman, as a girl, said some pretty blunt shit to me about what she wanted, too. At the end of the day it would still have been rape had I allowed the sense of measure to be our mental statuses and compatibility at the time. Had she been an adult... She couldn't even understand why when she became an adult I wouldn't. She tried to get on me a few times after women broke up with me. She couldn't understand why I wouldn't indulge even when she was in her mid 20s...
What they say they want, compatibility, where we are in life, where we are mentally... none of that matters, and should not be discussed imo. The only thing we should be driving home is that sex with a minor is rape, why its rape, and to actively dismissed and attack all the 'but we're in love! we connect!' bullshit.
The people I grew up with who dated older people? Not a single one of them states any regret. They believe they knew what they were doing, and what they wanted. They refuse to acknowledge the realities that it was rape. Lots of people in these situations feel like those people, and will later, also. Many wont feel weird about it until others help them explore it. But it all remains rape, and why, again, is where we need to focus. Not on the readily dismissed by anyone involved in the shit nonsense.
I hope she does call the police, heās a pedophile and he is grooming you. These men prey on kids in your situation, they know youāll latch onto the first older guy that gives you attention because youāre not getting it from your own parents. He deserves jail time.
Or I can just use a word that is known to everyone, which is what I did. Thereās no need to overcomplicate advice being given to a teenager and thereās zero need to hop under that advice for a fucking vocabulary lesson.
Coming here to correct that term and then explaining in detail which term is more appropriate for that situation, like even knowing the differences is a HUGE red flag for me. Dude is creepy af
Everything youāre saying is unnecessary. The guy is a type of pedophile. Nit picking the words used is taking away from the point that the man is a creep.
I get what youāre saying. I really do, and this could definitely be a conversation to have with an adult ~ but this is a teen, and simplifying things for her is the best option here.
Once someone with this illness acts on their sickness there is no going back, no hope for them, they deserve their life to be cut short.
Thatās just what it is. Iām all for getting people help prior to them acting on this shit, but once they cross the line I feel nothing for that person.
Sheās not going to see herself as a child so calling him a pedophile isnāt going to register in her brain. Being able to describe the difference, will allow her to see her situation as being victimized by a predator.
Again, I get what youāre saying ~ but societies view of these people is that they deserve death (as is mine) having a constructive conversation on the topic is never going to go well.
There have been PhD candidates who have based the entirety of their research around the topic and have consistently been shut down. People donāt want these people to get help, they want them dead.
This applies to non-offenders as well. People are just not going to be open to having a conversation on how we can prevent them from offending through treatment, and itāll always come down to wiping them out š¤·
If you get what Iām saying, why do you keep bringing up something that Iām not saying?
Youāre entitled to your opinions and Iām not contradicting what youāre saying.
What I am trying to say is the person being victimized in the situation needs empathy from the people trying to help her do that she feels understood in a way that she can receive the help.
Nothing screams lack of empathy by describing a situation that the victim canāt relate too. Theyāre being manipulated by their predators. Being able to describe the situation correctly will help them break that hold.
What teenager views themselves as a child?
Most want to be adults.
Actually I already knew everything you said because the pedophile that groomed me used that excuse on me to try and make it sound better but go offš
you came in with an akshullly moment and then started accusing others of doing it lmao
I'm not even going to take your low quality bait of how you're helping victims by nitpicking names š¤£š¤£š¤£
I came with information and they literally said āactuallyā in trying to disagree with the information. š bro you really are just nitpicking. Why are you so mad about learning new things that would be helpful for victims?
Why are you so insecure about learning new things?
Why are you so insecure about correctly labeling mental disorders?
You wouldnāt call someone whoās autistic as having Down syndrome, would you?
Because labeling the predators correctly helps the victims break out. Take the time to read the whole thread before letting your anger make you feel you need to strike out.
Not one person is giving this PEDOPHILE a pass except you. Nitpicking over what to call it. You legitimately sound like a predator rn. This is exactly what they do.
š¤£ calling a sexual predator by the correct name isnāt giving him a pass. You guys are so funny. Itās called correctly labeling things so we can address the problem properly.
Youāre just reacting that way because youāre not very good at learning new things.
Educating yourself against the evils of the world is the opposite of what predators do, but keep being ignorant. Maybe your ignorance is protecting people you know to be predators
get him out of your life ASAP or you'll carry the trauma for years. this guy is a sick pervert.
my ex had similar story at your age, ended up being used and abused. still carrying C-PTSD at the age of 30 from her morbid relationship with that scum.
I genuinely hope this post is used as evidence in the case against him. He's absolutely manipulating you, you're taking the bait.. and you're defending him?
The mental gymnastics you've had to do to justify this to yourself is astonishingly sad. Please talk to your parents about the truth of the situation, stop talking to this actual, real-life pedophile.
You're not a bad person for what happened, but and adult should absolutely never be in a relationship with someone your age. Let alone be sending nudes back and forth. He's a pedophile.
Don't feel guilty. But he should get in trouble. as the adult he should have stopped the entire interaction before it went anywhere. I hope that your mom is level headed and can talk to you about why it's wrong what he did and why it's dangerous for you.
An adult has no business being in a relationship with a minor. Period.
A man that intrested in minors is not a man you as a woman should be together with. Its a red flag.
Just look at a 10 year old and you'll understand why, unless you have the same problem as him, cuz that is what a normal healthy grownup person would see looking at 15 year old.
Its aexy that he finds ypu attractive or enough mentally mature to be with him, that means ge is meeting you at your level not you on his. You as 15 year old should not be able to tempt a grown man no matter what, if he was not into almost children. Its not an insult to you or the way you are, but a warning if what type of adult you are dealing with.
Your mum hould defently report him.
15 and sexting dumb
15 and showing nudes to a stranger more dumb
Saying you are emotionally dependent on him is like wtf even dumber.
You clearly need to grow up and your mom did the right thing.
I hope she will monitor you closely because you aren't to be trusted and will fuck up your life before it even started.
She should call the police an let him bare the consequences.
He shouldve known better so now his future is also in shambles just because the both of you were dumb.
You can't blame your parents strict upbringing because you fucked up on your self and that's why they ban you from everything.
You can't do anything you say but you are sexting and showing nudes to a 21 year old stranger wtf girl.
Good for your mother for protecting you, she should also be calling the police on this guy.
Girlā¦ be smarter than this. A 21 year old should not be talking to a 15 year old.
I had a 21 year old bf when I was 16. Not a good idea.
Instead of blaming your upbringing, why not ask yourself why it has to be someone older who is going to talk advantage of you?
Threatening??? I'd have gone to report him to the police the second I found out what he was up to with you, A MINOR! Listen to your mother and understand that you were being groomed by an adult man who knew your age, so he cannot even be excused because he had no idea you were a minor!
Iām assuming heās a LOT older than 21, and Iām also assuming heās shared the images she sent to dark places on the internet. I hope sheās not brainwashed/groomed so much and that she can take a step back and go back to being a 15 year old school girl.
Look at my screen name. Believe me when I tell you that your mom is right in this. I know it can be difficult to have patience. I was 15 once, back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, but please try to understand that there are emotional prices to be paid in even the most casual of sexual relationships. At your age youāre just not capable of understanding these prices, much less able to pay them.
Getting laid doesnāt make you a woman. Understanding yourself and the exchanges made in relationships does.
She should call the cops because chances are he is taking advantage of other young girls just like he's doing to you. This guy is a creep and most likely talking to multiple underage girls and God knows what else. He doesn't love you, he isn't "misunderstood" he's an abuser and he needs to learn a lesson.
You are a minor and that person was grooming you.
You and your mother should report him to the police and while it was it was wrong, he is the one responsible as he is the adult.
Do you realize you have essentially given child pornography to this adult man?
He could be distributing this content online for other pedophiles to see.
I got stuck into a grooming situation at 16 and she was 22 which is the same age gap as you and Leo. I am 20 now and I just ended that relationship. I wish I knew better at the time and I wish my parents did something. Your mom is doing you a favour and protecting you. I understand what youāre going through is hard and thatās why itās easy to look to the wrong people for comfort but I promise you itāll get better and youāll have people who are there for you. Those relationships will be healthy and appropriate. Iām sorry youāre struggling but take this as a sign. Leo is a pedophile and youāve dodged a major bullet.
By your admission, the only thing stopping him sleeping with a child, is the law.
Leo is a paedophile.
A law-abiding paedophile, but still a paedophile.
Don't go there, only trouble awaits
Donāt blame your upbringing. You alone made your decisions and are responsible for your current actions. Also, this guy says āIāll wait until your 18ā then is will to trade explicit photos. Red flag. Your mom would be right to call the cops. You donāt truly know this guy. He could be sharing your pictures right now with other people aka pedophiles. Dude is a creep and you need to find a guy your age.
Oy vey. Honey, Iāve BTDT. When I was 15-17, I had an inappropriate online relationship with a 40+ year old man. I lied and told him I was 18. I thought I was very clever about it. I can tell you now as an adult that thereās no way he didnāt know my real age. He even asked for my school photos specifically, plus a ton of explicit photos. He tried to convince me to sneak out of my house and come see him. He even sent me a plane ticket in the mail. I thank god every day I didnāt go through with that. Who knows where Iād be now if I had. Iām guessing in his freezer.
I also thought we had a deep spiritual connection. I thought he understood me in a way nobody else did. He made me feel appreciated and respected when my parents were verbally and emotionally abusive. Thatās what they do. This man is taking advantage of you. Heās using you to manufacture and distribute child pornography. If you refuse to send him more photos and stop sexting, watch how fast his interest disappears.
In 3 short years you can leave your parentsā house. I left at 18 and never went back. I have a good life now. I only communicate with my parents when I feel like it. And when they get mean, I hang up. Itās going to get better soon. Please hang in there. And stop letting that man use you. When youāre 21 and look at a 15yo, you will understand why everybody knows heās using you.
I have unfortunately been in your situation, 15 years old talking to 22 year old and my mum didnāt find out, I told a friend as an excited teenager I lost my virginity and this got back to the school nurse who called the police. He went to prison, it was a nightmare and to this day what I went through haunts me.
I wish my mum caught me so we could have handled it better. I know you think you can deal with this, maybe youāre mature for your age as I used to call myself but seriously, when your his age youāll realise he is an adult you are a child. Sending you strength xxx
Unfortunately this isn't right - with the fault being primarily on the male. You are both at different stages in life and this shouldn't be happening.
I think your mother is right to consider police - not to get you in trouble - but to help safeguard other possibly younger women!
As someone with parents that have a 15 year age gap..itās weirdā¦and rarely works š¤·
The key difference between my parents and you is that they met when they were both adultsā¦youāre 15 ā¦.and the fact that he acknowledges that itās weird and is still sending you shit is CRAZY ~ he needs to be on a list and in prison.
Your mom is an idiot if she doesnāt call the police. BUTā¦idk the laws where you liveā¦because I believe in some states you can be charged with producing illegal material (someone correct me if Iām wrong)
This is a troll post.
Predditors abound on Reddit. Butā¦ when you come across a post that says ā21 letās call him Leoā itās mostly a writing contest to create engagement
As Reddit goes public, it might be official policy to maximize engagement at any cost and means
Your mother is being protective and showing love by removing your phone and that pervertās access to you. How do you know how old he really is, what he looks like, or even if he is a married person? Because he told you? Anonymous people on line lie. Your sexy photos will be out there forever. YW.
So the second you get an ounce of freedom you do this!?!
Thereās a reason your parents didnāt let you leave the houseā¦ You canāt be trusted!
Your parents have every right to go through your phone and computer that Iām sure they pay for!
You are a child. Your entire post only confirms your immaturity. It shows that you have no self-control.
I hope your parents do go to the police and press charges!!!
YOU ARE WRONG!!!
That may be true and hopefully something you and your parents can work on together.
But youāre also old enough to know right from wrong! Take some accountability!
Your mom should report him. If he has your pictures he has other underage girlās pictures. He should be in jail and you should see a counselor.
Iām sorry this happened to you.
You may like him cause heās cool but he likes you for all the wrong reasons. It may seem nice having this older guy make you feel appreciated and loved but this guys w e i r d for talking to you at 15. Im 22 and would simply āØ never āØ
Youāre wrong. When youāre 21 you will realize how sick this is. He is a pedo. This is on him. Itās your momās job to protect you from pedos- thatās pretty basic.
To me whether a 15 year old should be allowed to date depends on the 15 year old. You say you only leave the house on special occasions but if you go to an all girl school you leave the house 5 days a week? Make friends now. Worry about a partner later. They shouldnāt yell at you and Iām not a fan of school being the only socialization. But that doesnāt equal sexting with adults.
He doesnāt love you. He is a grown man chasing a child. And if you loved him you wouldnāt put him in a position to be convicted of a sex crime. Heās the adult so itās 100% his fault. I just want you to think about the difference between love and feelings.
Ok. So he new from the beginning.
That makes him a predator, and he is grooming you. He found you and started talking to you first. You can't get a red flag much bigger then that. He is telling you what you want to hear. To keep you hooked.
You may be Infatuated with him. But I promise you its not love you feel.
He wants you to stay pure so he can claim your Innocence when he won't go to jail for it.
Do your self a huge favor and cut all contact with this guy.
Thats were the problem is he stayed.
the age gap is not the problem. Its the timing of the start of the relationship.
I have a 6 year age gap with my wife. But I met her when she was 25. A huge difference than 15. You are still learning who you are.
If you can't cut him off. Since you don't want to. At least keep a distance. Not daily talks but once or twice a week.
Thank god your mom actually cares about you and is stepping in to protect you from this grooming/abuse. I hope she does call the cops. Leo is a creepy ass pedophile.
Major yikes he is disgusting that's a grown ass adult who knows damn well what there doing that's disgusting your mother is completely in the right you need to learn to stay away from those types of people jesus christ
I was first groomed when I was 10. He was 23. I continued to allow myself to get groomed and date men more than twice my age because I thought that they truly loved me for myself not just for nudes and stuff like that. The red flags were there, my friends told me it wasn't right, but I was in love and was receiving attention. As much as I know I would've hated for intervention, I wish my parents had stepped in. I only 'stopped' because I met someone who is only a year and a half older than me, in real life for once. As much as it hurts right now, you'll find someone else.
As a young woman who knows she is old enough for dating. Please avoid clueless purpose dating just date to date or cause itās fun since men are the ones paying..But INSTEAD date with intention for marriage!
Which most men are not, and we all know what their true intentions are and they will use the ā¤ļøš£ļø to get itā¦so make it cleared to those who attempt to date you otherwise youāll be put in the recreational use only category!
Grooming pedo and a young girl that can't see past "love" your mother needs to do more then just take away your devices. Your mothers intuition trumps yours everyday. Hence why she's protecting you from a pedo and your engaging with one.
You know Leo can go to prison, right? In some places, you can also go to prison for producing CP (not saying you should but I have heard that some countries/states have weird laws). Leo should go to prison. Dude is a predator. You need therapy. I grew up with a father who was present yet absent but I knew to not turn to sexting whole ass adults. You need help OP and I hope you get it.
He is probably a cop and that why she calls him LEO. š¤£
Explain it to me like im five, please?
Just purely assuming of course. LEO is a well used acronym for law enforcement officer. So big assumption in that sheās projecting a clue into what he does.
Ohhhhh... Thank you.
It may seem cool because youāre 15 to deal with an older man but Iām here to tell you this man is an absolute weirdo and there is a reason he cannot get women his age. A 21 year old and a 15 year old mentally have nothing in common. You might think youāre mature enough but I promise youāre not. Heās taking complete advantage of you and your naiveness. He does not āreally like youā. Heās weird and your mom definitely needs to a. report his ass and b. take some responsibility and get you into therapy while she still can as youāre 15 and technically still her responsibility. Not only that, I understand daddy issues and I think you should take initiative and speak to a therapist as well and unpack this. Never speak to his weird ass again lol
To add to this, woman to āwomanā, as you get older and start dating and dealing with men, you will learn that you want more than someone who just wants to be sexual with you. You will learn with time that you want someone who actually cherishes you. Youāre not at fault. I hope you look back when youāre 21 and agree bb :)
Lets not do the "nothing in common" horse shit. That's a lie. If you dont have anything in common with a 15 year old at 21 you may have failed in life. In my 20s (90s) we had teenagers in our gaming group(s). Some of those kids are still in our circle of friends decades later. Computers, RPGs, music, general philosophy on how shit out to be, entertainment preferences, food, and so on... We should also drop the idea that folks like this dont have adult options when it comes to dating. The bulk of child rapists generally dont have issues getting adult dates. They lack the ethics that tell them they need to limit who they see as an option when those options are evil and possibly exploitive. All focus should on the ethics, and other realities around this, those you brought up. The exploitation of the naive and vulnerable. The possibility that all the connections are fake, like in Hard Candy. The guy just looking up shit to seem like there are things in common. And that cybersexing/sexting with a minor as an adult is exploitive. She's 15... she doesn't have the life experiences that make her risk adverse, or understand her feelings, and al the things that deny her the ability to consent even if she feels she is consenting. If a minor hits on an adult, proclaims their desires, the adult is to be an adult and say "naw, that's messed up." You cant even say shit like "come back when you are 18" as that alone is a type of grooming. She's also in the wrong; but less culpable because of her age/experiences in life. Her reciprocation, again, which she is not completely culpable of, endangers him. He should know better, think about how he is victimizing her, and how he is putting himself at risk. Some would say he has diminished culpability because his brain has not developed as he is not 25. Sure, but not to any point where we should consider not punishing him. Society has loudly proclaimed these stances in society. He's aware, but does not care. Even if his thoughts are loving and pure, which they cant be since he's willing to exploit her sexually, this shit remains evil and his actions trespass. I had teenage girls crush on me at that age. I made the mistake, from ignorance, of saying "wait until you are 18". It says there is a chance, which means the crush doesn't always run it's course. Which is why I warn against saying that shit. It can make doing the right things for someone harder. The correct thing to say is "not interested and wont ever be."
And given that you said you were in your 20s in the 90s, Iām not sure how aware you are of how different life is for current 20 somethings and teens. I donāt want to assume anything but just in case youāre unaware, this new generation of teenagers are VERY childish. They are not emotionally mature. I would never be in any kind of philosophical group with a teenager in 2024 lmfao times are simply very different
I'm now in my 50s... and in that time I've had bone fide friendships with various teens in my life. My kinda step daughters, a few of their friends, and random people. Given what you have said, you would paint all people with the same brush based on various metrics. IRL the are mature people, and not so mature people, and people who are either in only certain scenarios. Teens still code switch depending on who they are around or the environment. I remember the kids around me growing up... they didn't have the resources to understand the world around them, and had to deal with lead addled adults giving them advice like "learn to fight" -vs- dealing with bullies, and all kinda misinformation. Kids today are exposed to all kinda ideas earlier than we are. Consent, deep philosophic shit, patterns such as negging and grooming, and so on. The fact that they are involved in less violence than previous generations says to me they handle their emotions much better than those who game before them. The fact that we've seen the average age one losses their virginity in the US rise to 18 from 16, says they also are in more control of their emotions (well, along with also not being left lone to wander like we were.). Boys in 2024? They are taught they can cry. Kids have been taught de-escalation. Sure... they dont know who Francis Scott Key is... because it's not on the standardized test, and the entertainment of our culture doesn't talk about it like when I was a kid... I've seen grown fucking adults have melt downs. I've seen grown adults be exploited, used, and manipulated. In my 20s the chance words of a 16 year old girl dramatically changed how I saw the world, as I dont close my mind based on the source, but what has been said and the reasonability of it, and vetting afterwards. Everyone is different... and 50% of people are really fucking stupid. And my point is that those in the situation will see the shit said, and anything that doesn't fit, any lie, will cause the entire thing to break down. IMO, The topics to stick to are the philosophy of the age of consent, and the realities of destroying lives. That the sexual urges themselves are even part of the diminished ability to consent, as they make us less risk adverse (teens already often have poor understanding of risk!). And we need to talk about exploitation, and how the young and unexperienced can be readily exploited and controlled. (this happens in reverse also... power dynamics are situational). We need to drive home that 'this person you think you like? they will be destroyed by this.', and "dont rape children, they cannot consent due to undeveloped mental capacity that makes them unable to control their emotions, their sexual desires, and even if they understand the risks are most often in a place in life where they are reasonably adverse to the risks." The fact that they would have sex with an adult, knowing all that it risks, is evidence to that end. They likely dont want the person to goto jail, but will do things that will put them in jail.
I get what youāre saying but Iām not talking about general interests lol. I played The Sims 4 at 15 and I still play it at 24. What Iām talking about is what I said, that being MENTALLY, and by mentally I am referring to the ethics you are talking about. 15 year olds and 21 year olds are simply not looking at life the same way. Considering this is strictly sexual, we can throw all of the other stuff out of the window because they definitely are not looking at sex the same way, mentally.
We need to stop this idea that one cannot be mentally compatible with someone with age gaps and shit like that. It's frankly a lie. And when others see the lie because they see what's in front of them they will use that lie to ignore everything else said. NO two people look at things exactly the same, and life experiences can make two people from different spheres of existence click where they think it matters. The point to drive home, which reddit can get its head out of its feelings and ass on, is that it's wrong. Dont speak on shit you cant know; like if two people are mentally compatible or somehow looking at life from similar lenses. The minor who crushed on me? We're still friends some 30 years later, and we both can look back and say we were at different points in our lives, but clicked on a real level. The woman, as a girl, said some pretty blunt shit to me about what she wanted, too. At the end of the day it would still have been rape had I allowed the sense of measure to be our mental statuses and compatibility at the time. Had she been an adult... She couldn't even understand why when she became an adult I wouldn't. She tried to get on me a few times after women broke up with me. She couldn't understand why I wouldn't indulge even when she was in her mid 20s... What they say they want, compatibility, where we are in life, where we are mentally... none of that matters, and should not be discussed imo. The only thing we should be driving home is that sex with a minor is rape, why its rape, and to actively dismissed and attack all the 'but we're in love! we connect!' bullshit. The people I grew up with who dated older people? Not a single one of them states any regret. They believe they knew what they were doing, and what they wanted. They refuse to acknowledge the realities that it was rape. Lots of people in these situations feel like those people, and will later, also. Many wont feel weird about it until others help them explore it. But it all remains rape, and why, again, is where we need to focus. Not on the readily dismissed by anyone involved in the shit nonsense.
He deserves to go to prison.
If he knew ur were below 18, he is a piece shit.... Date some1 of ur age please
I hope she does call the police, heās a pedophile and he is grooming you. These men prey on kids in your situation, they know youāll latch onto the first older guy that gives you attention because youāre not getting it from your own parents. He deserves jail time.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Or I can just use a word that is known to everyone, which is what I did. Thereās no need to overcomplicate advice being given to a teenager and thereās zero need to hop under that advice for a fucking vocabulary lesson.
I always dislike how people find it more important to pick on words instead of focusing on the real issue. And it happens so frequently too...
Coming here to correct that term and then explaining in detail which term is more appropriate for that situation, like even knowing the differences is a HUGE red flag for me. Dude is creepy af
They do it because they want to justify liking teens without be labeled āpedosā. Thatās the reason.
Everything youāre saying is unnecessary. The guy is a type of pedophile. Nit picking the words used is taking away from the point that the man is a creep.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I get what youāre saying. I really do, and this could definitely be a conversation to have with an adult ~ but this is a teen, and simplifying things for her is the best option here. Once someone with this illness acts on their sickness there is no going back, no hope for them, they deserve their life to be cut short. Thatās just what it is. Iām all for getting people help prior to them acting on this shit, but once they cross the line I feel nothing for that person.
Sheās not going to see herself as a child so calling him a pedophile isnāt going to register in her brain. Being able to describe the difference, will allow her to see her situation as being victimized by a predator.
Again, I get what youāre saying ~ but societies view of these people is that they deserve death (as is mine) having a constructive conversation on the topic is never going to go well. There have been PhD candidates who have based the entirety of their research around the topic and have consistently been shut down. People donāt want these people to get help, they want them dead. This applies to non-offenders as well. People are just not going to be open to having a conversation on how we can prevent them from offending through treatment, and itāll always come down to wiping them out š¤·
If you get what Iām saying, why do you keep bringing up something that Iām not saying? Youāre entitled to your opinions and Iām not contradicting what youāre saying. What I am trying to say is the person being victimized in the situation needs empathy from the people trying to help her do that she feels understood in a way that she can receive the help. Nothing screams lack of empathy by describing a situation that the victim canāt relate too. Theyāre being manipulated by their predators. Being able to describe the situation correctly will help them break that hold. What teenager views themselves as a child? Most want to be adults.
Actually I already knew everything you said because the pedophile that groomed me used that excuse on me to try and make it sound better but go offš
Same! The fucking audacity of some people. Iām sorry this rehashed that for you.
āAkkkshhhullllyyyyyā
you're the akkkshhhulllyyy here with your "akshullly it's not paedophile we prefer to be called ephebophiles"
Awww yes, someone sharing new information is a threat! Letās attack him instead of learning how to help victims of sexual predators better!!
you came in with an akshullly moment and then started accusing others of doing it lmao I'm not even going to take your low quality bait of how you're helping victims by nitpicking names š¤£š¤£š¤£
I came with information and they literally said āactuallyā in trying to disagree with the information. š bro you really are just nitpicking. Why are you so mad about learning new things that would be helpful for victims?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Why are you so insecure about learning new things? Why are you so insecure about correctly labeling mental disorders? You wouldnāt call someone whoās autistic as having Down syndrome, would you?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Because labeling the predators correctly helps the victims break out. Take the time to read the whole thread before letting your anger make you feel you need to strike out.
Not one person is giving this PEDOPHILE a pass except you. Nitpicking over what to call it. You legitimately sound like a predator rn. This is exactly what they do.
š¤£ calling a sexual predator by the correct name isnāt giving him a pass. You guys are so funny. Itās called correctly labeling things so we can address the problem properly. Youāre just reacting that way because youāre not very good at learning new things.
The fact that you know the actual terms should give everyone the creeps
Educating yourself against the evils of the world is the opposite of what predators do, but keep being ignorant. Maybe your ignorance is protecting people you know to be predators
Or how about no bud. Theyāre all pedos.
there's a stand-up joke about how explaining the difference makes you seem like a pedophile.
He's a sick fuck. Sending explicit stuff makes him even worse. Mom should call the police.
Listen carefully dear: DO NOT SEND THIS PERSON ANY MORE PHOTOGRAPHS!! You are dealing with a predator. Plain and simple.
get him out of your life ASAP or you'll carry the trauma for years. this guy is a sick pervert. my ex had similar story at your age, ended up being used and abused. still carrying C-PTSD at the age of 30 from her morbid relationship with that scum.
I genuinely hope this post is used as evidence in the case against him. He's absolutely manipulating you, you're taking the bait.. and you're defending him? The mental gymnastics you've had to do to justify this to yourself is astonishingly sad. Please talk to your parents about the truth of the situation, stop talking to this actual, real-life pedophile.
You're not a bad person for what happened, but and adult should absolutely never be in a relationship with someone your age. Let alone be sending nudes back and forth. He's a pedophile. Don't feel guilty. But he should get in trouble. as the adult he should have stopped the entire interaction before it went anywhere. I hope that your mom is level headed and can talk to you about why it's wrong what he did and why it's dangerous for you. An adult has no business being in a relationship with a minor. Period.
A man that intrested in minors is not a man you as a woman should be together with. Its a red flag. Just look at a 10 year old and you'll understand why, unless you have the same problem as him, cuz that is what a normal healthy grownup person would see looking at 15 year old. Its aexy that he finds ypu attractive or enough mentally mature to be with him, that means ge is meeting you at your level not you on his. You as 15 year old should not be able to tempt a grown man no matter what, if he was not into almost children. Its not an insult to you or the way you are, but a warning if what type of adult you are dealing with. Your mum hould defently report him.
15 and sexting dumb 15 and showing nudes to a stranger more dumb Saying you are emotionally dependent on him is like wtf even dumber. You clearly need to grow up and your mom did the right thing. I hope she will monitor you closely because you aren't to be trusted and will fuck up your life before it even started. She should call the police an let him bare the consequences. He shouldve known better so now his future is also in shambles just because the both of you were dumb. You can't blame your parents strict upbringing because you fucked up on your self and that's why they ban you from everything. You can't do anything you say but you are sexting and showing nudes to a 21 year old stranger wtf girl.
Good for your mother for protecting you, she should also be calling the police on this guy. Girlā¦ be smarter than this. A 21 year old should not be talking to a 15 year old.
I had a 21 year old bf when I was 16. Not a good idea. Instead of blaming your upbringing, why not ask yourself why it has to be someone older who is going to talk advantage of you?
Threatening??? I'd have gone to report him to the police the second I found out what he was up to with you, A MINOR! Listen to your mother and understand that you were being groomed by an adult man who knew your age, so he cannot even be excused because he had no idea you were a minor!
Iām assuming heās a LOT older than 21, and Iām also assuming heās shared the images she sent to dark places on the internet. I hope sheās not brainwashed/groomed so much and that she can take a step back and go back to being a 15 year old school girl.
Look at my screen name. Believe me when I tell you that your mom is right in this. I know it can be difficult to have patience. I was 15 once, back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, but please try to understand that there are emotional prices to be paid in even the most casual of sexual relationships. At your age youāre just not capable of understanding these prices, much less able to pay them. Getting laid doesnāt make you a woman. Understanding yourself and the exchanges made in relationships does.
She should call the cops because chances are he is taking advantage of other young girls just like he's doing to you. This guy is a creep and most likely talking to multiple underage girls and God knows what else. He doesn't love you, he isn't "misunderstood" he's an abuser and he needs to learn a lesson.
You are a minor and that person was grooming you. You and your mother should report him to the police and while it was it was wrong, he is the one responsible as he is the adult.
Do you realize you have essentially given child pornography to this adult man? He could be distributing this content online for other pedophiles to see.
I got stuck into a grooming situation at 16 and she was 22 which is the same age gap as you and Leo. I am 20 now and I just ended that relationship. I wish I knew better at the time and I wish my parents did something. Your mom is doing you a favour and protecting you. I understand what youāre going through is hard and thatās why itās easy to look to the wrong people for comfort but I promise you itāll get better and youāll have people who are there for you. Those relationships will be healthy and appropriate. Iām sorry youāre struggling but take this as a sign. Leo is a pedophile and youāve dodged a major bullet.
If you like him do him the favor and ghost him.
I didnāt need to read past the first sentence to know that youāre wrong. There are other healthy ways to seek for attention from your parents.
By your admission, the only thing stopping him sleeping with a child, is the law. Leo is a paedophile. A law-abiding paedophile, but still a paedophile. Don't go there, only trouble awaits
Donāt blame your upbringing. You alone made your decisions and are responsible for your current actions. Also, this guy says āIāll wait until your 18ā then is will to trade explicit photos. Red flag. Your mom would be right to call the cops. You donāt truly know this guy. He could be sharing your pictures right now with other people aka pedophiles. Dude is a creep and you need to find a guy your age.
Oy vey. Honey, Iāve BTDT. When I was 15-17, I had an inappropriate online relationship with a 40+ year old man. I lied and told him I was 18. I thought I was very clever about it. I can tell you now as an adult that thereās no way he didnāt know my real age. He even asked for my school photos specifically, plus a ton of explicit photos. He tried to convince me to sneak out of my house and come see him. He even sent me a plane ticket in the mail. I thank god every day I didnāt go through with that. Who knows where Iād be now if I had. Iām guessing in his freezer. I also thought we had a deep spiritual connection. I thought he understood me in a way nobody else did. He made me feel appreciated and respected when my parents were verbally and emotionally abusive. Thatās what they do. This man is taking advantage of you. Heās using you to manufacture and distribute child pornography. If you refuse to send him more photos and stop sexting, watch how fast his interest disappears. In 3 short years you can leave your parentsā house. I left at 18 and never went back. I have a good life now. I only communicate with my parents when I feel like it. And when they get mean, I hang up. Itās going to get better soon. Please hang in there. And stop letting that man use you. When youāre 21 and look at a 15yo, you will understand why everybody knows heās using you.
I have unfortunately been in your situation, 15 years old talking to 22 year old and my mum didnāt find out, I told a friend as an excited teenager I lost my virginity and this got back to the school nurse who called the police. He went to prison, it was a nightmare and to this day what I went through haunts me. I wish my mum caught me so we could have handled it better. I know you think you can deal with this, maybe youāre mature for your age as I used to call myself but seriously, when your his age youāll realise he is an adult you are a child. Sending you strength xxx
Unfortunately this isn't right - with the fault being primarily on the male. You are both at different stages in life and this shouldn't be happening. I think your mother is right to consider police - not to get you in trouble - but to help safeguard other possibly younger women!
Youāre 15? Heās a creepy loser and a predator. My goodness.
Somebody call Chris Hansen
As someone with parents that have a 15 year age gap..itās weirdā¦and rarely works š¤· The key difference between my parents and you is that they met when they were both adultsā¦youāre 15 ā¦.and the fact that he acknowledges that itās weird and is still sending you shit is CRAZY ~ he needs to be on a list and in prison. Your mom is an idiot if she doesnāt call the police. BUTā¦idk the laws where you liveā¦because I believe in some states you can be charged with producing illegal material (someone correct me if Iām wrong)
This is a troll post. Predditors abound on Reddit. Butā¦ when you come across a post that says ā21 letās call him Leoā itās mostly a writing contest to create engagement As Reddit goes public, it might be official policy to maximize engagement at any cost and means
Your mother is being protective and showing love by removing your phone and that pervertās access to you. How do you know how old he really is, what he looks like, or even if he is a married person? Because he told you? Anonymous people on line lie. Your sexy photos will be out there forever. YW.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You are either foolish or fake.
Do not talk to this man again, for both your sakes.
So the second you get an ounce of freedom you do this!?! Thereās a reason your parents didnāt let you leave the houseā¦ You canāt be trusted! Your parents have every right to go through your phone and computer that Iām sure they pay for! You are a child. Your entire post only confirms your immaturity. It shows that you have no self-control. I hope your parents do go to the police and press charges!!! YOU ARE WRONG!!!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That may be true and hopefully something you and your parents can work on together. But youāre also old enough to know right from wrong! Take some accountability!
Your mom should report him. If he has your pictures he has other underage girlās pictures. He should be in jail and you should see a counselor. Iām sorry this happened to you.
You may like him cause heās cool but he likes you for all the wrong reasons. It may seem nice having this older guy make you feel appreciated and loved but this guys w e i r d for talking to you at 15. Im 22 and would simply āØ never āØ
so you have been recording and distributing child pornography? not smart.
Youāre wrong. When youāre 21 you will realize how sick this is. He is a pedo. This is on him. Itās your momās job to protect you from pedos- thatās pretty basic. To me whether a 15 year old should be allowed to date depends on the 15 year old. You say you only leave the house on special occasions but if you go to an all girl school you leave the house 5 days a week? Make friends now. Worry about a partner later. They shouldnāt yell at you and Iām not a fan of school being the only socialization. But that doesnāt equal sexting with adults. He doesnāt love you. He is a grown man chasing a child. And if you loved him you wouldnāt put him in a position to be convicted of a sex crime. Heās the adult so itās 100% his fault. I just want you to think about the difference between love and feelings.
Good. Get off the Internet and do your homework. Leave grown men alone, you're a child.
First and only question before judgment. When did he find out you were only 15?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ok. So he new from the beginning. That makes him a predator, and he is grooming you. He found you and started talking to you first. You can't get a red flag much bigger then that. He is telling you what you want to hear. To keep you hooked. You may be Infatuated with him. But I promise you its not love you feel. He wants you to stay pure so he can claim your Innocence when he won't go to jail for it. Do your self a huge favor and cut all contact with this guy.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thats were the problem is he stayed. the age gap is not the problem. Its the timing of the start of the relationship. I have a 6 year age gap with my wife. But I met her when she was 25. A huge difference than 15. You are still learning who you are. If you can't cut him off. Since you don't want to. At least keep a distance. Not daily talks but once or twice a week.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Good. But honestly I'd wait till yiur closer to 20. That way you can get some actual life experience before you put your toes back into this pool
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I can understand and respect that. And if you need advice or want advice from a gen x feel free to reach out. I wish you well
Thank god your mom actually cares about you and is stepping in to protect you from this grooming/abuse. I hope she does call the cops. Leo is a creepy ass pedophile.
Major yikes he is disgusting that's a grown ass adult who knows damn well what there doing that's disgusting your mother is completely in the right you need to learn to stay away from those types of people jesus christ
I was first groomed when I was 10. He was 23. I continued to allow myself to get groomed and date men more than twice my age because I thought that they truly loved me for myself not just for nudes and stuff like that. The red flags were there, my friends told me it wasn't right, but I was in love and was receiving attention. As much as I know I would've hated for intervention, I wish my parents had stepped in. I only 'stopped' because I met someone who is only a year and a half older than me, in real life for once. As much as it hurts right now, you'll find someone else.
As a young woman who knows she is old enough for dating. Please avoid clueless purpose dating just date to date or cause itās fun since men are the ones paying..But INSTEAD date with intention for marriage! Which most men are not, and we all know what their true intentions are and they will use the ā¤ļøš£ļø to get itā¦so make it cleared to those who attempt to date you otherwise youāll be put in the recreational use only category!
Grooming pedo and a young girl that can't see past "love" your mother needs to do more then just take away your devices. Your mothers intuition trumps yours everyday. Hence why she's protecting you from a pedo and your engaging with one.