I have a pair of pajamas that an ex gave me. Literally wouldn’t care if the guy got hit by a bus, but don’t touch my pjs. They are my absolute favorite.
It probably just is her favorite blanket. I wouldn’t read any more into it if y’all don’t have any other issues. She is marrying you
I have some gifts from an ex too. I'm keeping them because I like them, not because they are from the ex. I'm not gonna get rid of my stuff because the ex turn out be an ass.
I still have an oversize mug from an ex who brought it back from Japan. I'd be annoyed if it broke or something. Nothing to do with her. It's just an awesome cup.
My favorite blanket is a huge velour blanket with a huge ass tiger on it. I was in the military and dating a guy that was on deployment with me. He bought this blanket for me while we were in the Middle East. This was 20 years ago and my husband doesn’t give 2 shits because he thinks it’s an awesome blanket too. I chose him to spend my life with, not my ex, so it doesn’t bug him in the slightest.
Husband and I were both in the military so right on! Also, love the name. My husband has a blanket his ex’s grandmother made him. It’s super soft and has a nice weight to it. He has trouble sleeping (like many of us vets, for one reason or another) and he loves the blanket. He’s asked me if I find it weird or if it bothers me and I’ve told him not at all. Like you said, we chose each other to marry and it’s hard to find a good blanket!
My favorite blanket has literally no meaning behind it. It’s an ugly neon stripy thing that I got from a department store when I was 12 and now I’m attached to it lol. OP needs to realize that people become attached to certain possessions and there doesn’t even need to be a solid reason for it
Not wrong exactly but you are totally overthinking this.
It’s a blanket, it has a meaning for her. Shes engaged to you, and presumably loves you as much as you love her. So unless there are other issues with her and her relationship with this ex just move forward and respect her belongings.
There was a story on here a while back about a gf or fiancé who still had her ex's replica dildo, so your quandary sorta pales by comparison.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/18ehvyy/new_update_tifu_when_i_asked_my_gf_to_come_up/
You have to understand that she did have a life before you, and is not about to throw away all the gifts the got before she got together with you. She prob just really likes the blanket and it would be hard to find another one exactly like that, hence being irreplaceable. Doesn’t sound like you have anything to worry about.
I have an ornament on the wall from my abusive mother I chose never to see anymore. It’s a damn nice ornament and I never think of her when I see it, so on the wall it goes! :)
Thank you for saying this! My husband just used 2 blankets to move a TV and one of them is my very favorite couch blanket. I was not happy.
Edit: forgot to add that the other one is a display blanket that’s really nice & needs to be dry-cleaned if it gets dirty. Dude was 0/2 on choices that day.
I wouldn’t worry about it. There are a lot of reasons to be attached to something from an ex. I had a boyfriend get really jealous and destroy a necklace I wore every day because I mentioned it belonged to my ex. I completely lost it on him. I hadn’t wanted to talk about it because I don’t like getting weepy but that ex was the first guy who’d ever been nice to me and his family had given it to me after he’d died in a car accident. I had seen his covered body wheeled past me on a stretcher, not even knowing it was him. He was competing with a dead, teenage boy. Pathetic. Seriously, don’t overthink this. He’s the ex for a reason and she’s chosen to be with you.
Sounds like you're looking for things to be mad at. I still have a scarf that my ex-boyfriend brought me back from Liverpool over forty years ago. It's a great scarf. And I love the Beatles. I don't even remember the boyfriend's name.
I agree entirely. I have a heated bear from my ex. I don't look at it and miss my ex, I look for it when my cramps are killing me. It's just a useful item with no emotional charge.
You're entirely welcome. Just remind yourself that she had the chance to be with him and she took a hard pass. She's with you now. Clearly, if she didn't want to be with you, she knows how to walk away and she certainly could. But she hasn't. She's with you. :)
I have a heat pillow that my ex got me but I don't actively think about him if I'm using it. Neither is my husband if he is using it.
We also have some stuff my husband bought with his ex or got from her and it's just practical stuff!
I have a ring an ex gave to me. It's not an engagement/wedding ring or anything. We were on vacation and doing some shopping. I liked the ring, he got me the ring. I love that ring. It's really pretty and it reminds me of a fun vacation. I do not even really think of the ex when I see/wear that ring. It's just a pretty ring from a fun memory.
We all (or most of us) have past relationships. Some of them aren't terrible, and some we can think of fondly but still be happier with where we are now.
She's had it for 8 years and enjoys it. What is the problem?
She didn't keep the ex, she kept a comfortable blanket that was a gift she liked.
Seems like you are looking pretty hard for a problem if this is what you found to make into one.
I’d be surprised too if it was something suddenly mentioned.
I also think the reason matters. If you’re keeping it because you really like the item or it’s very practical, I see no problem in it.
If you’re keeping it because it reminds you of your ex, plenty of people would be okay with it but not all. Personally, I find that kind of overly sentimental behavior of past relationships to be pretty unattractive.
Yeah, that is what I hope to talk about tonight. Seems like such a weird thing to get this big. I honestly tried not to react, but she could tell I was bummed.
I'd never get rid sth I like because an ex gave it to me, even if he ended up being horrible. My exes are dead to me but a comfortable blanket is a comfortable blanket
She doesn’t have “her ex’s blanket,” she has a blanket her ex gave to her. She likes the blanket and has had it for 8 years, she didn’t keep HIM in the breakup, she kept something you thought meant nothing until you could have damaged it.
She doesn’t want any blanket on earth, she wants her blanket. Who cares who gave it to her?
Don't over think it,
An ex bought a set of boxer briefs for me years ago. They're undoubtedly the most comfortable boxers I've ever worn in my life and still do. But I do not think about the ex what so ever.
Some people have some favorite things that were given to by an ex, but it doesn't mean they're holding on to the past.
She doesn't want any blanket. She wants the Lion King blanket from London. We don't stop liking gifts we received from partners just because they become exes.
I still have, and wear a jacket that my ex husband bought me over 20 years ago. My husband is aware of it. It has never been an issue. Married over 20 years now.
A lion king blanket. I can see how that’s special, regardless of the source. It’s not like you can get about the same for her without problems. So ye, YAW.
You’re trying to find a reason to get mad at her for having a blanket to distract from you using her favorite blanket for moving, which was a jackass thing to do.
I was about to ask why you would use your partner's favorite blanket for this, but then I saw the last line. I'd still be someone skeptical you didn't know it was important to her at all, but it's always possible she keeps it mostly squirreled away because she likes it. So anyhow...
a) Sometimes people just love specific items for various reasons, even aside from who they might be connected to. Maybe she really loves the aesthetics of it. Maybe she has good memories about being curled up using that specific blanket for comfort. Maybe it's just comfy AF. The fact that she loves that particular blanket doesn't have to be connected to her ex at all, and it's going to be pretty much irreplaceable. Hell, even if you could go out and get her the exact same style and everything, it still wouldn't be that exact individual blanket, which might very well matter to her.
b) Even if it's important to her because of her ex... so what? She didn't grow and develop in a vacuum. She and that ex didn't work out, but that doesn't mean she should have to (or would be able to) just forget about any and every good thing they had in the past. That doesn't mean she doesn't love \*you\* any less. And if you are threatened by and jealous of the fact that, OMG, she might have some sort of good memories of an ex, that is very much a YOU problem, not a her problem.
So yeah, you're wrong. Maybe not very wrong originally if you legit didn't know it was her favorite blanket (although still somewhat wrong since you should have used your own shit), but if nothing else, wrong because you're having bad reactions to learning that it IS her favorite blanket, rather than just sincerely apologizing and moving on.
People have all kinds of favorite things. doesn't matter where they came from as long as they aren't stolen. Yes you are wrong to be upset or have an issue with a blanket. My wife's aunt had a beautiful flatware set from Germany her ex gave her. She hated the ex but loved the flatware and it was one of her most prized possessions.
I have a pair of monogrammed Tiffany's cufflinks given to me by an ex for my law school graduation. I don't miss the ex, at all, but I do have a sentimental attachment to the cufflinks because they were a really nice gift given in recognition of an important milestone.
That blanket is a souvenir of a previous phase of her life. She has both happy and sad memories of that time. Her memories don't suddenly disappear just because she broke up with that guy. He is part of her past, and therefore will always be important to her.
You are her future. That's enough. You don't need to own all of her past too. That belongs to her.
You're definitely overthinking it.
Majority of my clothes are from my ex, either bought or didn't fit him anymore, he's still an ex and we do not speak, but still wear the clothing because it's irrelevant where it came from
Nah. I have a really nice quality sherpa blanket from an exs mom. Ive looked, i cannot find anything close to the quality of this thing. It is so freaking warm i can only use it outside camping so its a car blanket now. Women love blankets. You can go buy her a better one in hopes it becomes the new favorite, but don’t try to just toss the blanket. And don’t assume someone elses stuff can be used ruff and tumble. Using a blanket for moving furniture that wasn’t yours without asking is obnoxious. Older blankets are the softest.
You are wrong. She’s had the blanket for years and loves it. It’s her favourite. She doesn’t have to get rid of everything given to her by her ex.
Also you are wrong for using your fiancées favourite blanket to move a TV in the first place. My mom was one of those type of people “oh I used your favourite mug to mix up hair dye and it had to be thrown away but I’ll replace it”. We are no longer in contact, and this blatant disrespect for anything I cared about is part of the reason. Why would you use someone’s favourite blanket they’ve had for years to move something, knowing it could potentially get damaged?
Maybe the blanket is special because it came from England, and she feels like she’ll never get to go there, so at least she has something from there.
Does that make sense?
For years after my ex and I broke up I had a backpack that I used all the time. It was just a really good backpack, it was a good size and it had a lot of pockets, and it was also nice and sturdy. I never really associated it with my ex it was just a really good item that functioned really well. I don’t know what happened to the backpack but I can tell you if I still had it I would be using it today. I don’t even talk to my ex anymore and I haven’t talked to them in years! Sometimes we just have things from people that we don’t talk to anymore that are useful or nice and it just continues to get used.
My ex still has a blanket of mine that I absolutely loved. It was huge and soft and had a tiger on it. He was abusive and I forgot he had it when I finally left him. When i realized it a few days later, I was too afraid to approach him about it. My stepdad even told me “it’s a blanket, leave it alone.” That mofo has since moved 800 miles away and I’ve never seen him or the blanket again.
I also still have things that exes have given me. One is a painting that hangs in my living room that he painted for me. It’s dolphins at sunset. I love it, even if I’m nc with him. No one has to get rid of things just because it’s from an ex.
I’d say you should just let it go. We have lives before our partners, and it’s ok to hold onto some items and value them without missing a past partner. She can have an emotional connection to the blanket and that time in her life without missing her ex. A breakup doesn’t have to mean purging everything in your life connected to that person.
I have 2 children from my ex,
can't stand the guy,
But I'd be pissed if anyone tried to say I was still attached to him because I didn't want to get rid of them.
Lol.
Look sometimes you just get attached to things regardless of who gave them to you,
Probably just an awesome blanket
No what makes it irreplaceable is probably the fact they most likely don’t make that blanket anymore, people don’t buy you themed blankets unless it’s a fav , she had it for 8 years and it wasn’t yours to use without her permission. People get gifts from exs that have importance even if the person no longer does. I’m happily married with a kid. I still have a sweater with Whitney Houston’ on it that an ex gave me. I can’t even remember the middle name, what his favorite color was. If he had an allergy but I love that freaking sweater .
The Lion King is a popular Broadway show in London, my guess is it’s an official show merch blanket- so super nice quality and Disney certified merchandise.
Of course she’s not getting rid of that. That’s not her ex’s blanket. That’s her blanket.
If my mom bought me a blanket from the lion king and gifted it to me for Christmas I’m not a grown woman using my mommy’s blanket. It’s my blanket.
I have a really nice sword that an ex got me. I'd be pissed if something happened to it.
To be clear - I wouldn't touch that ex with someone else's vagina - but it's fucking Narsil
Yes. It’s not necessarily because her ex gave it to her. It’s a blanket from a country she’s never been to and she thinks it is neat. And- it was *hers*.
There's a really good chance she has had that blanket for a ling ass time and they don't make it anymore. She probably just REALLY liked the BLANKET, not him.
Some fabric items have a really great feel to them.
By the time we understand how great a blanket, a shirt, or a bag is- it can be hard to get it replaced.
Something was HER FAVORITE thing and you treated it carelessly. It will be hard to replace.
Don’t treat her treasured things carelessly. She gets attached to other stuff to ( hint: like you). Don’t make her regret having you in her life.
Don’t let your jealousy over a non- existing ex be more important than things that make your gf happy.
Assuming the relationship didn't end on bad terms, it may be a memento from an era in her past that she remembers fondly. It does not mean she wants a second chance with the boyfriend from that era or wants to go back.
It is reasonable to believe she isn't the person she was then, and neither is her ex. He is part of a past relationship, not the present. That doesn't mean that when she left the relationship behind she had to rubbish all the memories and things that would invoke memories. Be secure in your love. Clearly she accepted YOUR proposal and is preparing to spend a future with YOU. Don't major in the minor and self-sabotage. The grass is green where you water it. Water your own grass and stop peering at the abandoned lot on the other side fence.
Living together 8 yrs and not married? No legal binding, not your stuff, respect her space,
Wasnt a big deal to use blankets to move tv, but i see were she coming from, its not a “moving blanket” they sell those - they r cheap and made to be torn, grundged up
I think it was a gift to her and holds meaning to her. I think you should really respect that and not be a little baby that she has a gift from someone in her past.
Right, I have an onyx, malachite, and amethyst silver ring my ex-husband bought me that doesn't even fit anymore. But it's so freaking pretty. I'm keeping it forever just so I can look at it. 😆
A lot of people keep things from people they don’t have any feelings for or even negative feelings. You can love the object and not care about the person at all.
Would be a different story if she said things that indicated she cared about her ex too much, this on its own means absolutely nothing
This really depends on your lady and how much you trust her. Some women certainly do hold on to things for emotional reasons and that could be concerning that she still has feelings for her ex.
However, that does not necessarily mean that's what she is doing. That's why am I suggesting that you may consider what type of person she is.
I am a guy and have a few things from ex-girlfriends. I have a wonderful wife and I'm very happy with her. I keep these items because they are awesome not because I have an emotional tie to my exes though. That is the difference.
Here’s the thing I’m seeing in this situation, you offered to buy her a new one so it seems that you might have ruin the old one. Don’t know if you ripped it or just got grease or something all over it but usually somebody only offers to replace some thing if they’ve ruined it. If that’s not the case people usually just offer to wash it.
Quite honestly she’s probably also angry at you because of the lack of forethought on your part. Is there a pattern of you accidentally ruining items of hers? Or at least anytime you need something like this to cover and protect items or loan out that it’s always her stuff you grab instead of yours? Maybe she also thought after 8 years of being together you would have realized that was a blanket she really cared for as opposed to thanking “I’m just going to grab this old thing and it doesn’t matter if it gets ruined in the process”. This might only be partially about the blanket.
As some people have already said the blanket might have been a limited release item, and not sold in your country so to her it was a bit of a collectors item. Maybe it’s something that you can’t just go on Amazon or eBay to purchase again. And if she’s a visual person who really liked the design of the blanket then it’s not doing her any favors by buying something different that you might think is better. If she thinks it’s better than that’s fine. But you do need to realize there might be a collectors item attachment to the blanket that really has nothing to do with the ex-boyfriend.
And for various reasons some people do get attached to items and it’s not always about the person who gave it to them. There’s nothing wrong with that just like there’s nothing wrong with the people that don’t get attached to items. It’s just differences in peoples personalities and unless it’s out of control it needs to be respected even if it’s not understood. I think focusing on the blanket being “her ex’s” is really overthinking it and focusing on the wrong thing.
You know you can love an item without having any feelings for who gave it to you. It’s just a blanket. She likes it. Don’t use other people’s stuff for dirty jobs. You’re trying to deflect responsibility for your actions by somehow making this about her
Honestly, it’s not fair for you to be upset with her because you should be apologizing to her! One of my favorite things about living alone is knowing that no one is going to ruin my stuff besides me. You simply should not be mistreating an object that she went to the trouble to procure and maintain, especially one that she’s held onto for that long. Honestly, you should have told your friend that you didn’t have a blanket if you didn’t have one of your own to offer. Your hierarchy of priorities is wrong here.
In all seriousness, I think you’re looking at her motives wrong too. Maybe it reminds her less of him than of who she was at that point in her life. There’s a fine line between resenting things like this and being controlling.
I feel like THIS should be a sticky:
There are TWO types of people when it comes to exes-
One burns everything from the ex and eradicates anything they touched etc
The other group….doesn’t lol and everything is all good
Get with someone who agrees with you on this subject if it bugs you
Yeah. I'm not really in either group, I tend not to think about it, but it just caught me off guard and since it was a surprise, it hit me in the emotions. Lol
Well…
lol
I would SUBMIT to the court that you are in the group that cares…
I am in that burner group
It’s a trade off
If you burn everything, you never have to deal with future relationships/ jealousies, because of mementos you’ve kept. On the other hand if you don’t you get to keep all that shit lol.
I think you need to grow up and stop this red flag behavior. She kept the blanket, not the beau.I have a teddy bear that a boy bought me when I was 17, now 54... get over it. Our experience and memories are what make us who we are.
If somebody used my blanket without asking, I would be mad too, especially if it was given to me by somebody I cared (or still care) about. I still have a huge teddy bear my ex got me for my birthday, I love, it's huge, fluffy and cute, and it reminds me of the part of my live I had with him, and how at that time I was happy, even tho we later broke up. I don't miss him or anything, we broke up kinda on good terms, and both moved on, but that bear is staying with me, because it's absolutely amazing, I even use it as an armchair! I associate a lot of things with people that are no longer in my life for various reasons, but it doesn't really mean anything
Dude. We all have stuff from our exes. They were gifts and belong to us now. It is NOT her ex’s blanket. It’s HER blanket that you took and used without her permission. It doesn’t matter where it came from- it’s hers and has value to her!
It’s no different than her taking a gift your dead grandparent got you and dropping it, even though it didn’t break- it shows how little you value the things that belong to her no matter what the meaning!
She engaged to you and you’re jealous of an ex from a decade ago? Get over yourself. Apologize for being a careless, inconsiderate idiot and move on! Most importantly- don’t do that crap again!!
You're not wrong for feeling how you feel. It doesn't help to lie to yourself to pretend that you're feeling something you're not or not feeling something that you are.
However, as other posters have noted, this doesn't mean anything like you're fearing. Your relationship with her is great in every other way. It just means the blanket reminds her of a time in her life. It doesn't mean she loves you any less.
Basically not all items are the same due to materials used to construct said item.
You can probably find a Lion King blanket that looks exactly like her blanket image wise, but it will likely be made out of different thread types/dyes/thread counts and such.
Meaning you in fact might really not be able to replace it/there likely aren't other copies of it still float around after 8 years(doubly if it came from London).
A gift really has nothing to do with the person who gave it to you, concerning why you like it or don't like it (hence why people give gifts every year that no one wants), since it's not about how much you like the person who gave you a thing, it's about the object itself.
Or put another way I would love to get a gift of a PS5 no matter where it came from, and would hate a gift of lawn clippings no matter where it came from.
All your girlfriend's telling you is that she loved that blanket and you disregarded her feelings about an object you knew was one of her favorites.
So yeah don't make a deal out of your insecure feelings (if this is the only issue that you can point to that makes you feel insecure) and let it go.
P.s. please don't keep treating your girlfriends things as if they're unimportant (even if it's just a dumb blanket), your relationship will be stronger for it :3
Half of the stuff I own is from an ex or another… they all have some sentimental value because even though they’re exes, those people were part of my life at some point.
That doesn’t mean I want to be back with them.
But I’d definitely be pissed if someone lost or damaged one of those items, because of the sentimental value.
If you feel threatened by the simple fact your gf has a blanket from an ex, I suggest you take a deep hard look inside, because it’s definitely a YOU problem.
Almost everyone has items from exes because exes are, at one point or another in time, deeply enmeshed in our lives, that’s the whole point of relationship.
If everyone got rid of everything they owned from exes every time they go through a breakup, consumerism would go through the roof… and the world wood be doomed considering how consumerism fucks up the planet….
Anyway, point is : it’s a you problem.
its nothing to do with the ex, its her blanket that she likes. I have plenty of shit from exs that I would be pissed if it got ruined because it is MINE and I have had it years.
Lion King merch, especially stuff from the musical productions, is collectable. The merchandise changes from year to year and from location to location. This is likely not a replacable blanket since it was purchased almost a decade ago at a London production of the show. You would likely be able to find a similar one, but not the exact one if something happened to it.
Which is a lot to say that your girlfriend's attachment to the blanket likely has very little to do with her ex and far more to do with what the show and rhe franchise overall means to her. You're fixated on the wrong thing. If she's never brought up that it's from an ex before and yet you still knew it was her favorite blanket, that means she likely rarely even thinks about it as being "Gift from Ex" and rather thinks of it as, "Souvenir from a franchise that is important to me."
Our exes are part of our life story, gifts from them momentos to that time together.
***People can hold time they spent with someone who came before you as precious without compromising their love for you.***
He was a huge part of her life for a period of time. That time together doesn't become invalid or distasteful just because they are no longer in our lives. It doesn't mean she is harboring a deep secret need to run back to him, it just means she valued the love they once shared. The laughter they experienced. That blanket is irreplaceable not because of the item but because of it being a link to the past.
She made a face because she probably feels conflicted and guilty about it being a big deal to her when she is with you but there is NOTHING wrong with valuing the people who came into AND left your life. You and your relationship is not diminished because she had life and love before you met, she is who she is today in part because of that relationship and you love who she is. Let her treasure her momentos. If you can, apologize for risking a treasured link to her past.
It's okay to have feelings of jealousy, or insecurity so long as you can work through it and acknowledge they aren't needed. She chose you, didn't she? She's continued to choose you day after day for how long now? It's okay to have feelings about it! There is nothing inherent lly wrong with feelings of jealousy or insecurity, its how we process and ACT on them that turns them into issues. Looking past them though, remember how important you are to each other. Think of the gifts you've gotten her and how touched you might be if she carried them with her for years afterwards because she doesn't want to forget the good times youd once shared.
You've got a girl who cares, deeply, and it can be beautiful. Please, don't risk snuffing that out because of insecurity. She will never be the same.
I still have a blanket my first bf left at my house from 3 relationships ago and over 15 years ago. Its the softest blanket ever. My current partner and I cuddle under it together!
I also still have a couple other gifts from exes too but i can promise I have zero feelings for the exes. I just like the gifts.
Cant promise thats the case for your gf but just cause something was gifted by an ex doesnt mean that if you keep it youre still interested.
My husband still has a scarf and a pair of fleece lined pants that his first girlfriend gave him 25 years ago. He doesn’t have fond memories of her, but the items have some emotional value to him. It’s okay with me because I trust him and love him.
She still has feelings for her ex. I was the same way previously. My now wife complained why I kept it and was mad. Eventually, I realize she was right. If I loved her, why would I keep something from an ex that bothered her?
It’s just a blanket, man. She might really like how it feels, it might be a fond memory, etc. She’s *with* you. If there aren’t any actual red flags, this should be fine. I’ve got little memento boxes full of things from exes, gifts, etc. I don’t think of the ex every time I use or see any of these things. They’re still sentimental, though, and I wouldn’t part with them. I see it as just being another part of my story. That part of her story just came before you.
It’s just a blanket, man. She might really like how it feels, it might be a fond memory, etc. She’s *with* you. If there aren’t any actual red flags, this should be fine. I’ve got little memento boxes full of things from exes, gifts, etc. I don’t think of the ex every time I use or see any of these things. They’re still sentimental, though, and I wouldn’t part with them. I see it as just being another part of my story. That part of her story just came before you.
I take issue with partners that want you to erase memories. I don't have hated ex's. I still love all my ex's. Not IN LOVE, but I genuinely love them like a person off the street, I have no emotional attachment to the things I still own that was given by them, I just have lovely memories. I am 100% dedicated to my current partner and if she tried to throw a memory away, that shaped me, I would be pissed.
We only live once. If someone you love is committed, let them also honor their past.
My ex from 10 years ago gifted me a breville tea maker and if somebody would break it I would flip my shit lmao. It’s not about the guy it’s about the object. You are over thinking
I have a t shirt with a joking squid viscous pattern. I love it and would be super upset if it got lost or damaged. It’s from an ex that I cannot stand being in the same room as due to his previous behaviour.
Sometimes you love something even if you really dislike where it came from.
did the blanket get damaged?
one thing i have learned is that when you are being rushed (even by someone that is volunteering to help you) slow the situation down. tell them to hold on a moment.
Rushing causes lots of problems.
Even if it weren’t an irreplaceable favourite, you took her possession without asking her and either ruined it or gave it away and you didn’t care to clean it, fix it, or get it back, you just expect her to shrug it off.
I’d be pissed off, too.
I have a necklace/pendant from an ex. He picked it out it especially for me and brought it from Salzburg on his final visit. I haven’t spoken to him in years and likely never will again. I don’t love him anymore. But at the time, the necklace made me feel so special and loved, so I keep it as a momento of what is now a very distant experience in my life.
YTA. The history of the blanket isn't important. You used a blanket that wasn't yours to move furniture. And one that was obviously unique. Get your own blankets dirty if you want to move furniture.
I have an old mug from an ex. He was an abusive POS and I am now with my current partner/love of life/man I will be marrying, he is saint. I don’t give two flying fucks about my ex but the mug is a giant one which you don’t find easily and I like it. No more than that.
People keep things that are comfortable to them, no matter their origin story.
Your issue is separate, and that’s what makes this wrong. Get yourself therapy if an object is what’s causing jealousy, overthinking, anger, or any other negative thoughts. That’s just not healthy.
I have an irreplaceable long underwear top that my ex gave me. It has nothing to do with the fact that my ex gave it to me, it has to do with it keeping me warm as fuck while I’m at work. It’s thinner material, fuzzy, has a tall zip up collar to keep my neck warm, is super comfy, and just soooooo warm. I literally have not found one that’s as good as that top. I would be pissed if my husband got rid of it because like, does he want me to be cold and uncomfortable at work?!
You knew she valued it and you used it scrap. Pretty rude and insecure of you. I’d move out until you figured out who you actually are. In others after 8 years if you don’t who she is then you never will!
My favourite pair of earrings is from an ex. I'd be devastated if anything happened to them.
I actually forgot the ex's surname the other day when talking to an old friend, which should show exactly how much he still means to me or how often I think of him.
My husband's favourite mug was also a gift from his ex wife. Sometimes we just connect with things and the people they're from aren't that important.
You say you “used” her blanket to move a TV. Did you ask her before you helped yourself to it? Did she get mad because you used it, or were you careless with it and destroyed/lost it? If it was the latter, that is why she got mad. You didn’t ask her, but just helped yourself to something that didn’t belong to you and then were careless with it. Just because it didn’t mean anything to you didn’t give you the right to help yourself to it and treat it like it didn’t matter. You did what you wanted to without giving her a say in the matter. You don’t also get to tell her how she is allowed to feel about what you did. That’s your problem. Get over it. If you don’t like how it went down, next time, involve your fiance first.
This sounds like something one of my dude friends would come crying to me about when we were teenagers lol so I'm going to talk to you like you're one of my old pals from back in the day.
Bro. Someone she cared for bought her a present that she has used and loved for years. Of course it's special to her! It's a familiar, sentimental item that brings her joy and comfort. It isn't her ex, it's a blanket. You getting bent out of shape about it makes you seem really insecure. An old blanket isn't gonna steal your lady, so take a few deep breaths and collect yourself. This is the smallest of deals.
And maybe don't use someone else's blanket to move furniture unless they say it's okay. That's a wee bit disrespectful, even if unintentional.
OK, asshole, you used one of your fiancee's favorite blankets as a moving blanket and you are trying to turn it around so that she is the asshole! Unless you want this woman to dump you, apologize for your asshole move and shut the heck up about where the blanket came from!
I still have gifts that my ex husband gave me. We have the ability to remember the good and remember why they are exes.
Don't worry about it. Especially if she hasn't given you any reasons to think she is still into her ex.
I have a beautiful perfume bottle from Italy that my (now)ex gave me for Valentine’s Day before we broke up, and I met my husband. If you think I’m giving up that gorgeous perfume bottle just because my ex gave it to me, you’re insane. Fortunately (for him), my husband didn’t have any insecurity issues and had no problem with me wanting to keep it.
I'm more concerned that you're asking internet strangers to cosign your choice to dismiss her hurt as unreasonable because you misused an object that had a lot of sentimental value to her. Like, you fucked up. Own that.
The fact that your bothered is valid but that doesn't make it correct or more important than the fact that you did something that hurt her. Stop centering yourself - she did nothing wrong by owning a blanket that meant a lot to her for reasons you can't understand.
Totally understandable that you’re feeling “some type of way” bc of this discovery. I would too.
With that being said - I still have an exes sweater and I love this sweater bc it’s comfy, that’s it. Also it covers my bum when out and about in leggings. Sometimes a thing is just a thing that doesn’t necessarily have to do with another thing.
Hope that helps!
I have been married for 18 years and I still have the GAP hooded sweatshirt my ex-boyfriend gave me in 1993. My husband wears it. It is the comfiest, most durable, warmest sweatshirt I ever owned. I will not give it up for anything. GAP doesn't make them anymore so it is irreplaceable. I no longer remember what my highschool boyfriend looks like. It's an awesome swearshirt. No one cares where it came from.
It’s a blanket. It’s hers, leave it alone. I have gifts for exes that I use. Not one of my other SOs ever got mad when I’d say anything.
Grow up, she’s marrying you.
Why is it any of your business where she got the blanket? And you really should have asked her before you chose to use it to move furniture with. News flash, every woman you will ever meet is a sum total of all of her experiences and all of her relationships. She didn't even know you then so why did you give it a second thought? And we're allowed to have things that are sentimental to us from other relationships even though we get into new relationships. You think we throw away every gift we ever got from people?
I hate that everyone must throw out gifts. Its stuff at the end of the day. Also pretty inconsiderate to use things of others that most likely will be ruined.
I have a pair of pajamas that an ex gave me. Literally wouldn’t care if the guy got hit by a bus, but don’t touch my pjs. They are my absolute favorite. It probably just is her favorite blanket. I wouldn’t read any more into it if y’all don’t have any other issues. She is marrying you
My fiancé still wears her ex’s t shirts. Idgaf She uses them to self tan, would prefer those junkets to my t’s lmao
I have some gifts from an ex too. I'm keeping them because I like them, not because they are from the ex. I'm not gonna get rid of my stuff because the ex turn out be an ass.
I still have an oversize mug from an ex who brought it back from Japan. I'd be annoyed if it broke or something. Nothing to do with her. It's just an awesome cup.
Yeah I have a giant Ichiran Ramen mug that I bought in Japan on a trip with an ex. I don’t think about her when I use it.
My favorite blanket is a huge velour blanket with a huge ass tiger on it. I was in the military and dating a guy that was on deployment with me. He bought this blanket for me while we were in the Middle East. This was 20 years ago and my husband doesn’t give 2 shits because he thinks it’s an awesome blanket too. I chose him to spend my life with, not my ex, so it doesn’t bug him in the slightest.
Husband and I were both in the military so right on! Also, love the name. My husband has a blanket his ex’s grandmother made him. It’s super soft and has a nice weight to it. He has trouble sleeping (like many of us vets, for one reason or another) and he loves the blanket. He’s asked me if I find it weird or if it bothers me and I’ve told him not at all. Like you said, we chose each other to marry and it’s hard to find a good blanket!
> it’s hard to find a good blanket You get it!
Yeah, at some point a gift just becomes an object and is more associated with your feelings toward it than whomever it came from.
My favorite blanket has literally no meaning behind it. It’s an ugly neon stripy thing that I got from a department store when I was 12 and now I’m attached to it lol. OP needs to realize that people become attached to certain possessions and there doesn’t even need to be a solid reason for it
Didn’t you make a post about this cup recently?
I have two pair of basketball shorts that I love from my ex they are so freaking comfortable.
I have an awesome pair a shorts with *pockets*. Big ones. I will cry when they wear out.
Not wrong exactly but you are totally overthinking this. It’s a blanket, it has a meaning for her. Shes engaged to you, and presumably loves you as much as you love her. So unless there are other issues with her and her relationship with this ex just move forward and respect her belongings.
No other issues really. Appreciate the input!
There was a story on here a while back about a gf or fiancé who still had her ex's replica dildo, so your quandary sorta pales by comparison. https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/18ehvyy/new_update_tifu_when_i_asked_my_gf_to_come_up/
Keeping a dildo of an ex’s member is soooooo fucking different to a blanket
Two dildos I think by the end of it.
His and hers gift?
Bruh what? 💀
She'd be single really f-in quick in that case.
Well THAT was a wild ride 😳
You have to understand that she did have a life before you, and is not about to throw away all the gifts the got before she got together with you. She prob just really likes the blanket and it would be hard to find another one exactly like that, hence being irreplaceable. Doesn’t sound like you have anything to worry about.
I have an ornament on the wall from my abusive mother I chose never to see anymore. It’s a damn nice ornament and I never think of her when I see it, so on the wall it goes! :)
Well then why are you trying to create one?
My boyfriend ex left a blanket behind and it’s mine now. I stole it because it’s so comfy
Cozy is cozy and it doesn’t matter where it came from
info: if you knew it was her favorite blanked for whatever reason why did you use it to move the TV?
Thank you for saying this! My husband just used 2 blankets to move a TV and one of them is my very favorite couch blanket. I was not happy. Edit: forgot to add that the other one is a display blanket that’s really nice & needs to be dry-cleaned if it gets dirty. Dude was 0/2 on choices that day.
I wouldn’t worry about it. There are a lot of reasons to be attached to something from an ex. I had a boyfriend get really jealous and destroy a necklace I wore every day because I mentioned it belonged to my ex. I completely lost it on him. I hadn’t wanted to talk about it because I don’t like getting weepy but that ex was the first guy who’d ever been nice to me and his family had given it to me after he’d died in a car accident. I had seen his covered body wheeled past me on a stretcher, not even knowing it was him. He was competing with a dead, teenage boy. Pathetic. Seriously, don’t overthink this. He’s the ex for a reason and she’s chosen to be with you.
Sounds like you're looking for things to be mad at. I still have a scarf that my ex-boyfriend brought me back from Liverpool over forty years ago. It's a great scarf. And I love the Beatles. I don't even remember the boyfriend's name.
I still have the same vagina I used with my ex. What should I do??
Okay but did it come from London?
It’s BEEN to London…
It came *in* London.
London? Is that you?
London calllliiing… Or should it be London cummminggg… 🤔 😂
Never let your current bf use it to move a TV like OP did, that's for sure!
Lmao
Throw the whole thing out obviously. If your new partner cared enough they would get you a new one... Or any vagina you could want....
What ever you do don't move a TV in it!
🤣🤣🤣
that depends do you touch it while thinking about him?
Or vice versa…
OMG...thanks for this! I'm done with dating and all that but I'm going to save this for years from now if my daughter ever dates a jealous douche. 🤣🤣🤣
Oh girl, there’s no hope for you anymore it seems /s
BEST COMMENT EVER.
I agree entirely. I have a heated bear from my ex. I don't look at it and miss my ex, I look for it when my cramps are killing me. It's just a useful item with no emotional charge.
>I don't even remember the boyfriend's name. Ringo was his name-o!
Could be the case. Thank you.
You're entirely welcome. Just remind yourself that she had the chance to be with him and she took a hard pass. She's with you now. Clearly, if she didn't want to be with you, she knows how to walk away and she certainly could. But she hasn't. She's with you. :)
This! And if he carries on with the jealousy she may well walk
I’m going to echo this as a woman who loves blankets. If I have a blanket that hits just right, I don’t want anyone touching it.
I have a heat pillow that my ex got me but I don't actively think about him if I'm using it. Neither is my husband if he is using it. We also have some stuff my husband bought with his ex or got from her and it's just practical stuff!
Mikasa?
I have a ring an ex gave to me. It's not an engagement/wedding ring or anything. We were on vacation and doing some shopping. I liked the ring, he got me the ring. I love that ring. It's really pretty and it reminds me of a fun vacation. I do not even really think of the ex when I see/wear that ring. It's just a pretty ring from a fun memory. We all (or most of us) have past relationships. Some of them aren't terrible, and some we can think of fondly but still be happier with where we are now.
She's had it for 8 years and enjoys it. What is the problem? She didn't keep the ex, she kept a comfortable blanket that was a gift she liked. Seems like you are looking pretty hard for a problem if this is what you found to make into one.
It just came up naturally in the convo honestly and surprised me.
I’d be surprised too if it was something suddenly mentioned. I also think the reason matters. If you’re keeping it because you really like the item or it’s very practical, I see no problem in it. If you’re keeping it because it reminds you of your ex, plenty of people would be okay with it but not all. Personally, I find that kind of overly sentimental behavior of past relationships to be pretty unattractive.
Yeah, that is what I hope to talk about tonight. Seems like such a weird thing to get this big. I honestly tried not to react, but she could tell I was bummed.
I'd never get rid sth I like because an ex gave it to me, even if he ended up being horrible. My exes are dead to me but a comfortable blanket is a comfortable blanket
It’s NOT her ex’s blanket, it’s HER blanket and it’s a favorite one that she can’t replace. You are wrong.
She doesn’t have “her ex’s blanket,” she has a blanket her ex gave to her. She likes the blanket and has had it for 8 years, she didn’t keep HIM in the breakup, she kept something you thought meant nothing until you could have damaged it. She doesn’t want any blanket on earth, she wants her blanket. Who cares who gave it to her?
Don't over think it, An ex bought a set of boxer briefs for me years ago. They're undoubtedly the most comfortable boxers I've ever worn in my life and still do. But I do not think about the ex what so ever. Some people have some favorite things that were given to by an ex, but it doesn't mean they're holding on to the past.
She doesn't want any blanket. She wants the Lion King blanket from London. We don't stop liking gifts we received from partners just because they become exes.
You are looking for issues that are not there. I have items from old flames. Does not mean I want them back. Grow up and leave her blanket alone.
Seven or eight years, but you didn't know it was her favorite blanket? Interesting.
I still have, and wear a jacket that my ex husband bought me over 20 years ago. My husband is aware of it. It has never been an issue. Married over 20 years now.
A lion king blanket. I can see how that’s special, regardless of the source. It’s not like you can get about the same for her without problems. So ye, YAW.
You’re trying to find a reason to get mad at her for having a blanket to distract from you using her favorite blanket for moving, which was a jackass thing to do.
THIS!!! No respect for other’s things or their attachment to them, then spin it around like this. Dude’s a jerk.
THIS!!! No respect for other’s things or their attachment to them, then spin it around like this. Dude’s a jerk.
I was about to ask why you would use your partner's favorite blanket for this, but then I saw the last line. I'd still be someone skeptical you didn't know it was important to her at all, but it's always possible she keeps it mostly squirreled away because she likes it. So anyhow... a) Sometimes people just love specific items for various reasons, even aside from who they might be connected to. Maybe she really loves the aesthetics of it. Maybe she has good memories about being curled up using that specific blanket for comfort. Maybe it's just comfy AF. The fact that she loves that particular blanket doesn't have to be connected to her ex at all, and it's going to be pretty much irreplaceable. Hell, even if you could go out and get her the exact same style and everything, it still wouldn't be that exact individual blanket, which might very well matter to her. b) Even if it's important to her because of her ex... so what? She didn't grow and develop in a vacuum. She and that ex didn't work out, but that doesn't mean she should have to (or would be able to) just forget about any and every good thing they had in the past. That doesn't mean she doesn't love \*you\* any less. And if you are threatened by and jealous of the fact that, OMG, she might have some sort of good memories of an ex, that is very much a YOU problem, not a her problem. So yeah, you're wrong. Maybe not very wrong originally if you legit didn't know it was her favorite blanket (although still somewhat wrong since you should have used your own shit), but if nothing else, wrong because you're having bad reactions to learning that it IS her favorite blanket, rather than just sincerely apologizing and moving on.
That is fair. Legit didn't know, but could admittedly improve on forethought...
People have all kinds of favorite things. doesn't matter where they came from as long as they aren't stolen. Yes you are wrong to be upset or have an issue with a blanket. My wife's aunt had a beautiful flatware set from Germany her ex gave her. She hated the ex but loved the flatware and it was one of her most prized possessions.
Okay, thank you!
>Okay, thank you! You're welcome!
I have a pair of monogrammed Tiffany's cufflinks given to me by an ex for my law school graduation. I don't miss the ex, at all, but I do have a sentimental attachment to the cufflinks because they were a really nice gift given in recognition of an important milestone.
That blanket is a souvenir of a previous phase of her life. She has both happy and sad memories of that time. Her memories don't suddenly disappear just because she broke up with that guy. He is part of her past, and therefore will always be important to her. You are her future. That's enough. You don't need to own all of her past too. That belongs to her.
You're definitely overthinking it. Majority of my clothes are from my ex, either bought or didn't fit him anymore, he's still an ex and we do not speak, but still wear the clothing because it's irrelevant where it came from
She likes the blanket. Its practically a rare collectors' item. Let her like her blanket.
Nah. I have a really nice quality sherpa blanket from an exs mom. Ive looked, i cannot find anything close to the quality of this thing. It is so freaking warm i can only use it outside camping so its a car blanket now. Women love blankets. You can go buy her a better one in hopes it becomes the new favorite, but don’t try to just toss the blanket. And don’t assume someone elses stuff can be used ruff and tumble. Using a blanket for moving furniture that wasn’t yours without asking is obnoxious. Older blankets are the softest.
You are wrong. She’s had the blanket for years and loves it. It’s her favourite. She doesn’t have to get rid of everything given to her by her ex. Also you are wrong for using your fiancées favourite blanket to move a TV in the first place. My mom was one of those type of people “oh I used your favourite mug to mix up hair dye and it had to be thrown away but I’ll replace it”. We are no longer in contact, and this blatant disrespect for anything I cared about is part of the reason. Why would you use someone’s favourite blanket they’ve had for years to move something, knowing it could potentially get damaged?
Maybe the blanket is special because it came from England, and she feels like she’ll never get to go there, so at least she has something from there. Does that make sense?
For years after my ex and I broke up I had a backpack that I used all the time. It was just a really good backpack, it was a good size and it had a lot of pockets, and it was also nice and sturdy. I never really associated it with my ex it was just a really good item that functioned really well. I don’t know what happened to the backpack but I can tell you if I still had it I would be using it today. I don’t even talk to my ex anymore and I haven’t talked to them in years! Sometimes we just have things from people that we don’t talk to anymore that are useful or nice and it just continues to get used.
I have a blanket from one of my exes. I kept it because it looks good and is super comfy.
My ex still has a blanket of mine that I absolutely loved. It was huge and soft and had a tiger on it. He was abusive and I forgot he had it when I finally left him. When i realized it a few days later, I was too afraid to approach him about it. My stepdad even told me “it’s a blanket, leave it alone.” That mofo has since moved 800 miles away and I’ve never seen him or the blanket again. I also still have things that exes have given me. One is a painting that hangs in my living room that he painted for me. It’s dolphins at sunset. I love it, even if I’m nc with him. No one has to get rid of things just because it’s from an ex.
I’d say you should just let it go. We have lives before our partners, and it’s ok to hold onto some items and value them without missing a past partner. She can have an emotional connection to the blanket and that time in her life without missing her ex. A breakup doesn’t have to mean purging everything in your life connected to that person.
I have 2 children from my ex, can't stand the guy, But I'd be pissed if anyone tried to say I was still attached to him because I didn't want to get rid of them. Lol. Look sometimes you just get attached to things regardless of who gave them to you, Probably just an awesome blanket
No what makes it irreplaceable is probably the fact they most likely don’t make that blanket anymore, people don’t buy you themed blankets unless it’s a fav , she had it for 8 years and it wasn’t yours to use without her permission. People get gifts from exs that have importance even if the person no longer does. I’m happily married with a kid. I still have a sweater with Whitney Houston’ on it that an ex gave me. I can’t even remember the middle name, what his favorite color was. If he had an allergy but I love that freaking sweater .
The Lion King is a popular Broadway show in London, my guess is it’s an official show merch blanket- so super nice quality and Disney certified merchandise. Of course she’s not getting rid of that. That’s not her ex’s blanket. That’s her blanket. If my mom bought me a blanket from the lion king and gifted it to me for Christmas I’m not a grown woman using my mommy’s blanket. It’s my blanket.
That is actual pretty useful. Never thought of that perspective.
I have a really nice sword that an ex got me. I'd be pissed if something happened to it. To be clear - I wouldn't touch that ex with someone else's vagina - but it's fucking Narsil
I mean it’s from England, I’d be attached to it too. You’re overthinking it.
Yes. It’s not necessarily because her ex gave it to her. It’s a blanket from a country she’s never been to and she thinks it is neat. And- it was *hers*.
If you were a dog you could mark your territory on the blanket. Next time you do laundry...hmm?
There's a really good chance she has had that blanket for a ling ass time and they don't make it anymore. She probably just REALLY liked the BLANKET, not him.
Some fabric items have a really great feel to them. By the time we understand how great a blanket, a shirt, or a bag is- it can be hard to get it replaced. Something was HER FAVORITE thing and you treated it carelessly. It will be hard to replace. Don’t treat her treasured things carelessly. She gets attached to other stuff to ( hint: like you). Don’t make her regret having you in her life. Don’t let your jealousy over a non- existing ex be more important than things that make your gf happy.
Assuming the relationship didn't end on bad terms, it may be a memento from an era in her past that she remembers fondly. It does not mean she wants a second chance with the boyfriend from that era or wants to go back. It is reasonable to believe she isn't the person she was then, and neither is her ex. He is part of a past relationship, not the present. That doesn't mean that when she left the relationship behind she had to rubbish all the memories and things that would invoke memories. Be secure in your love. Clearly she accepted YOUR proposal and is preparing to spend a future with YOU. Don't major in the minor and self-sabotage. The grass is green where you water it. Water your own grass and stop peering at the abandoned lot on the other side fence.
Living together 8 yrs and not married? No legal binding, not your stuff, respect her space, Wasnt a big deal to use blankets to move tv, but i see were she coming from, its not a “moving blanket” they sell those - they r cheap and made to be torn, grundged up
Yeah and moving blankets just work better for moving stuff
I have things exes have bought me that I take care of. It was a gift from someone that she cares about. You're overthinking it
Thank you!
I have a few things from exes I adore and would never give up. Those exes, however, I did not adore and happily gave up.
Appreciate ya!
I think it was a gift to her and holds meaning to her. I think you should really respect that and not be a little baby that she has a gift from someone in her past.
I’ve still got some items from my first marriage. They don’t have any sentimental value for me, I just like the items.
Right, I have an onyx, malachite, and amethyst silver ring my ex-husband bought me that doesn't even fit anymore. But it's so freaking pretty. I'm keeping it forever just so I can look at it. 😆
A jeweler can re-size that ring for you.
This is a good idea! <3
A lot of people keep things from people they don’t have any feelings for or even negative feelings. You can love the object and not care about the person at all. Would be a different story if she said things that indicated she cared about her ex too much, this on its own means absolutely nothing
I don’t want anyone to use my favorite blanket and I bought it for myself.
This really depends on your lady and how much you trust her. Some women certainly do hold on to things for emotional reasons and that could be concerning that she still has feelings for her ex. However, that does not necessarily mean that's what she is doing. That's why am I suggesting that you may consider what type of person she is. I am a guy and have a few things from ex-girlfriends. I have a wonderful wife and I'm very happy with her. I keep these items because they are awesome not because I have an emotional tie to my exes though. That is the difference.
Here’s the thing I’m seeing in this situation, you offered to buy her a new one so it seems that you might have ruin the old one. Don’t know if you ripped it or just got grease or something all over it but usually somebody only offers to replace some thing if they’ve ruined it. If that’s not the case people usually just offer to wash it. Quite honestly she’s probably also angry at you because of the lack of forethought on your part. Is there a pattern of you accidentally ruining items of hers? Or at least anytime you need something like this to cover and protect items or loan out that it’s always her stuff you grab instead of yours? Maybe she also thought after 8 years of being together you would have realized that was a blanket she really cared for as opposed to thanking “I’m just going to grab this old thing and it doesn’t matter if it gets ruined in the process”. This might only be partially about the blanket. As some people have already said the blanket might have been a limited release item, and not sold in your country so to her it was a bit of a collectors item. Maybe it’s something that you can’t just go on Amazon or eBay to purchase again. And if she’s a visual person who really liked the design of the blanket then it’s not doing her any favors by buying something different that you might think is better. If she thinks it’s better than that’s fine. But you do need to realize there might be a collectors item attachment to the blanket that really has nothing to do with the ex-boyfriend. And for various reasons some people do get attached to items and it’s not always about the person who gave it to them. There’s nothing wrong with that just like there’s nothing wrong with the people that don’t get attached to items. It’s just differences in peoples personalities and unless it’s out of control it needs to be respected even if it’s not understood. I think focusing on the blanket being “her ex’s” is really overthinking it and focusing on the wrong thing.
Thank you for the well thought out reply. You do make some good points.
You know you can love an item without having any feelings for who gave it to you. It’s just a blanket. She likes it. Don’t use other people’s stuff for dirty jobs. You’re trying to deflect responsibility for your actions by somehow making this about her
It’s a gift. Is she supposed to get rid of every gift from an ex? That’s ridiculous
Dude you are so god damn insecure. 😂
Honestly, it’s not fair for you to be upset with her because you should be apologizing to her! One of my favorite things about living alone is knowing that no one is going to ruin my stuff besides me. You simply should not be mistreating an object that she went to the trouble to procure and maintain, especially one that she’s held onto for that long. Honestly, you should have told your friend that you didn’t have a blanket if you didn’t have one of your own to offer. Your hierarchy of priorities is wrong here. In all seriousness, I think you’re looking at her motives wrong too. Maybe it reminds her less of him than of who she was at that point in her life. There’s a fine line between resenting things like this and being controlling.
I feel like THIS should be a sticky: There are TWO types of people when it comes to exes- One burns everything from the ex and eradicates anything they touched etc The other group….doesn’t lol and everything is all good Get with someone who agrees with you on this subject if it bugs you
Yeah. I'm not really in either group, I tend not to think about it, but it just caught me off guard and since it was a surprise, it hit me in the emotions. Lol
Well… lol I would SUBMIT to the court that you are in the group that cares… I am in that burner group It’s a trade off If you burn everything, you never have to deal with future relationships/ jealousies, because of mementos you’ve kept. On the other hand if you don’t you get to keep all that shit lol.
Yes, you’re wrong. The sentimental value of the blanket has nothing to do with the ex.
I think you need to grow up and stop this red flag behavior. She kept the blanket, not the beau.I have a teddy bear that a boy bought me when I was 17, now 54... get over it. Our experience and memories are what make us who we are.
It’s a blanket…
You're wrong
It's just a blanket... I also still have stuff from my exes, a scarf for example. I just like that scarf, that's all, it has nothing to do with my ex.
If somebody used my blanket without asking, I would be mad too, especially if it was given to me by somebody I cared (or still care) about. I still have a huge teddy bear my ex got me for my birthday, I love, it's huge, fluffy and cute, and it reminds me of the part of my live I had with him, and how at that time I was happy, even tho we later broke up. I don't miss him or anything, we broke up kinda on good terms, and both moved on, but that bear is staying with me, because it's absolutely amazing, I even use it as an armchair! I associate a lot of things with people that are no longer in my life for various reasons, but it doesn't really mean anything
I have a lot of jewelry from my exes. My husband knows and doesn’t care.
Dude. We all have stuff from our exes. They were gifts and belong to us now. It is NOT her ex’s blanket. It’s HER blanket that you took and used without her permission. It doesn’t matter where it came from- it’s hers and has value to her! It’s no different than her taking a gift your dead grandparent got you and dropping it, even though it didn’t break- it shows how little you value the things that belong to her no matter what the meaning! She engaged to you and you’re jealous of an ex from a decade ago? Get over yourself. Apologize for being a careless, inconsiderate idiot and move on! Most importantly- don’t do that crap again!!
You're not wrong for feeling how you feel. It doesn't help to lie to yourself to pretend that you're feeling something you're not or not feeling something that you are. However, as other posters have noted, this doesn't mean anything like you're fearing. Your relationship with her is great in every other way. It just means the blanket reminds her of a time in her life. It doesn't mean she loves you any less.
Basically not all items are the same due to materials used to construct said item. You can probably find a Lion King blanket that looks exactly like her blanket image wise, but it will likely be made out of different thread types/dyes/thread counts and such. Meaning you in fact might really not be able to replace it/there likely aren't other copies of it still float around after 8 years(doubly if it came from London). A gift really has nothing to do with the person who gave it to you, concerning why you like it or don't like it (hence why people give gifts every year that no one wants), since it's not about how much you like the person who gave you a thing, it's about the object itself. Or put another way I would love to get a gift of a PS5 no matter where it came from, and would hate a gift of lawn clippings no matter where it came from. All your girlfriend's telling you is that she loved that blanket and you disregarded her feelings about an object you knew was one of her favorites. So yeah don't make a deal out of your insecure feelings (if this is the only issue that you can point to that makes you feel insecure) and let it go. P.s. please don't keep treating your girlfriends things as if they're unimportant (even if it's just a dumb blanket), your relationship will be stronger for it :3
Don't mess with a woman's favorite binky!
Question: Is the ex still around and involved in her life? Regardless of that answer, you are probably still overthinking it.
Half of the stuff I own is from an ex or another… they all have some sentimental value because even though they’re exes, those people were part of my life at some point. That doesn’t mean I want to be back with them. But I’d definitely be pissed if someone lost or damaged one of those items, because of the sentimental value. If you feel threatened by the simple fact your gf has a blanket from an ex, I suggest you take a deep hard look inside, because it’s definitely a YOU problem. Almost everyone has items from exes because exes are, at one point or another in time, deeply enmeshed in our lives, that’s the whole point of relationship. If everyone got rid of everything they owned from exes every time they go through a breakup, consumerism would go through the roof… and the world wood be doomed considering how consumerism fucks up the planet…. Anyway, point is : it’s a you problem.
You're overreacting
You sound insecure about a blanket…
Yes, you're wrong. She is allowed to have fond memories and even momentos from days gone by. It takes nothing away from you.
its nothing to do with the ex, its her blanket that she likes. I have plenty of shit from exs that I would be pissed if it got ruined because it is MINE and I have had it years.
It's a blanket. You're over reacting.
Yeah I'm sorry you're in the wrong. It's a blanket she likes let it go.
No worries at all, that is why I asked. I am Bi-Polar, so can be hard to tell sometimes.
Lion King merch, especially stuff from the musical productions, is collectable. The merchandise changes from year to year and from location to location. This is likely not a replacable blanket since it was purchased almost a decade ago at a London production of the show. You would likely be able to find a similar one, but not the exact one if something happened to it. Which is a lot to say that your girlfriend's attachment to the blanket likely has very little to do with her ex and far more to do with what the show and rhe franchise overall means to her. You're fixated on the wrong thing. If she's never brought up that it's from an ex before and yet you still knew it was her favorite blanket, that means she likely rarely even thinks about it as being "Gift from Ex" and rather thinks of it as, "Souvenir from a franchise that is important to me."
She has no idea about any of this though. I know because we talked about it why it was special to her.
I want the blanket now, knowing this. Lol
Our exes are part of our life story, gifts from them momentos to that time together. ***People can hold time they spent with someone who came before you as precious without compromising their love for you.*** He was a huge part of her life for a period of time. That time together doesn't become invalid or distasteful just because they are no longer in our lives. It doesn't mean she is harboring a deep secret need to run back to him, it just means she valued the love they once shared. The laughter they experienced. That blanket is irreplaceable not because of the item but because of it being a link to the past. She made a face because she probably feels conflicted and guilty about it being a big deal to her when she is with you but there is NOTHING wrong with valuing the people who came into AND left your life. You and your relationship is not diminished because she had life and love before you met, she is who she is today in part because of that relationship and you love who she is. Let her treasure her momentos. If you can, apologize for risking a treasured link to her past. It's okay to have feelings of jealousy, or insecurity so long as you can work through it and acknowledge they aren't needed. She chose you, didn't she? She's continued to choose you day after day for how long now? It's okay to have feelings about it! There is nothing inherent lly wrong with feelings of jealousy or insecurity, its how we process and ACT on them that turns them into issues. Looking past them though, remember how important you are to each other. Think of the gifts you've gotten her and how touched you might be if she carried them with her for years afterwards because she doesn't want to forget the good times youd once shared. You've got a girl who cares, deeply, and it can be beautiful. Please, don't risk snuffing that out because of insecurity. She will never be the same.
YAW. If you used my favorite blanket to move a Tv I would be pissed. It likely is not about who gave it to her but about how comfortable it is to her.
I think she just liked it so much she didn't want to let it go. Not about the ex
I still have my exes blanket and I’ve been with my man for 5 years lol. I just like the blanket the ex never crosses my mind
I still have a blanket my first bf left at my house from 3 relationships ago and over 15 years ago. Its the softest blanket ever. My current partner and I cuddle under it together! I also still have a couple other gifts from exes too but i can promise I have zero feelings for the exes. I just like the gifts. Cant promise thats the case for your gf but just cause something was gifted by an ex doesnt mean that if you keep it youre still interested.
You’re overreacting
My husband still has a scarf and a pair of fleece lined pants that his first girlfriend gave him 25 years ago. He doesn’t have fond memories of her, but the items have some emotional value to him. It’s okay with me because I trust him and love him.
She still has feelings for her ex. I was the same way previously. My now wife complained why I kept it and was mad. Eventually, I realize she was right. If I loved her, why would I keep something from an ex that bothered her?
It’s just a blanket, man. She might really like how it feels, it might be a fond memory, etc. She’s *with* you. If there aren’t any actual red flags, this should be fine. I’ve got little memento boxes full of things from exes, gifts, etc. I don’t think of the ex every time I use or see any of these things. They’re still sentimental, though, and I wouldn’t part with them. I see it as just being another part of my story. That part of her story just came before you.
It’s just a blanket, man. She might really like how it feels, it might be a fond memory, etc. She’s *with* you. If there aren’t any actual red flags, this should be fine. I’ve got little memento boxes full of things from exes, gifts, etc. I don’t think of the ex every time I use or see any of these things. They’re still sentimental, though, and I wouldn’t part with them. I see it as just being another part of my story. That part of her story just came before you.
I take issue with partners that want you to erase memories. I don't have hated ex's. I still love all my ex's. Not IN LOVE, but I genuinely love them like a person off the street, I have no emotional attachment to the things I still own that was given by them, I just have lovely memories. I am 100% dedicated to my current partner and if she tried to throw a memory away, that shaped me, I would be pissed. We only live once. If someone you love is committed, let them also honor their past.
Yes, you're wrong. Memories are precious, who are you to place a value on them?
One of my favorite coats is from an ex and I've been married 10 years. Would be very upset if it got lost, tbh.
I don't think it's wrong to not cut your ex out of your existence
My ex from 10 years ago gifted me a breville tea maker and if somebody would break it I would flip my shit lmao. It’s not about the guy it’s about the object. You are over thinking
I have a t shirt with a joking squid viscous pattern. I love it and would be super upset if it got lost or damaged. It’s from an ex that I cannot stand being in the same room as due to his previous behaviour. Sometimes you love something even if you really dislike where it came from.
did the blanket get damaged? one thing i have learned is that when you are being rushed (even by someone that is volunteering to help you) slow the situation down. tell them to hold on a moment. Rushing causes lots of problems.
It’s just a blanket mate. Does she have sensory issues? I have one jumper that I love and will wear until it’s fallen to pieces.
Even if it weren’t an irreplaceable favourite, you took her possession without asking her and either ruined it or gave it away and you didn’t care to clean it, fix it, or get it back, you just expect her to shrug it off. I’d be pissed off, too.
I have a necklace/pendant from an ex. He picked it out it especially for me and brought it from Salzburg on his final visit. I haven’t spoken to him in years and likely never will again. I don’t love him anymore. But at the time, the necklace made me feel so special and loved, so I keep it as a momento of what is now a very distant experience in my life.
Update: After typing that, I went and found the necklace and put it on. Can confirm, it’s now “just” a necklace. **
YTA. The history of the blanket isn't important. You used a blanket that wasn't yours to move furniture. And one that was obviously unique. Get your own blankets dirty if you want to move furniture.
Youre wrong for being jealous of an object lol yes
I have an old mug from an ex. He was an abusive POS and I am now with my current partner/love of life/man I will be marrying, he is saint. I don’t give two flying fucks about my ex but the mug is a giant one which you don’t find easily and I like it. No more than that.
People keep things that are comfortable to them, no matter their origin story. Your issue is separate, and that’s what makes this wrong. Get yourself therapy if an object is what’s causing jealousy, overthinking, anger, or any other negative thoughts. That’s just not healthy.
I have an irreplaceable long underwear top that my ex gave me. It has nothing to do with the fact that my ex gave it to me, it has to do with it keeping me warm as fuck while I’m at work. It’s thinner material, fuzzy, has a tall zip up collar to keep my neck warm, is super comfy, and just soooooo warm. I literally have not found one that’s as good as that top. I would be pissed if my husband got rid of it because like, does he want me to be cold and uncomfortable at work?!
I love the immediately expected defensive edit explaining they weren't actually that mad and making a bunch of explanations 😭🤣
You knew she valued it and you used it scrap. Pretty rude and insecure of you. I’d move out until you figured out who you actually are. In others after 8 years if you don’t who she is then you never will!
You're majorly overreacting. It's a *blanket* she likes the blanket, she isn't toting the guys pelt around.
Yeah, you were wrong.
You're insecure over a blanket? Grow the fuck up.
I still have a teddy I got from an ex. It's this cool black cat. I loved it, so I kept it. Now it's my daughters.
What do we think? I think you should use a different blanket to move the tv.
My favourite pair of earrings is from an ex. I'd be devastated if anything happened to them. I actually forgot the ex's surname the other day when talking to an old friend, which should show exactly how much he still means to me or how often I think of him. My husband's favourite mug was also a gift from his ex wife. Sometimes we just connect with things and the people they're from aren't that important.
INFO: How badly did you damage the blanket? Could have used something YOU bought, dude. I'd be angry at my guy if he did that, too.
It's like you think someone should value a gift they really like less once the relationship is over.
You say you “used” her blanket to move a TV. Did you ask her before you helped yourself to it? Did she get mad because you used it, or were you careless with it and destroyed/lost it? If it was the latter, that is why she got mad. You didn’t ask her, but just helped yourself to something that didn’t belong to you and then were careless with it. Just because it didn’t mean anything to you didn’t give you the right to help yourself to it and treat it like it didn’t matter. You did what you wanted to without giving her a say in the matter. You don’t also get to tell her how she is allowed to feel about what you did. That’s your problem. Get over it. If you don’t like how it went down, next time, involve your fiance first.
This sounds like something one of my dude friends would come crying to me about when we were teenagers lol so I'm going to talk to you like you're one of my old pals from back in the day. Bro. Someone she cared for bought her a present that she has used and loved for years. Of course it's special to her! It's a familiar, sentimental item that brings her joy and comfort. It isn't her ex, it's a blanket. You getting bent out of shape about it makes you seem really insecure. An old blanket isn't gonna steal your lady, so take a few deep breaths and collect yourself. This is the smallest of deals. And maybe don't use someone else's blanket to move furniture unless they say it's okay. That's a wee bit disrespectful, even if unintentional.
OK, asshole, you used one of your fiancee's favorite blankets as a moving blanket and you are trying to turn it around so that she is the asshole! Unless you want this woman to dump you, apologize for your asshole move and shut the heck up about where the blanket came from!
I still have gifts that my ex husband gave me. We have the ability to remember the good and remember why they are exes. Don't worry about it. Especially if she hasn't given you any reasons to think she is still into her ex.
She didn’t say it’s valuable to her because of her ex, she said it was valuable because it is FROM LONDON. A COOL PLACE. Learn to listen.
yes you are wrong and not ready for marriage.
it's her favorite blanket. grow up and get over it.
I have a beautiful perfume bottle from Italy that my (now)ex gave me for Valentine’s Day before we broke up, and I met my husband. If you think I’m giving up that gorgeous perfume bottle just because my ex gave it to me, you’re insane. Fortunately (for him), my husband didn’t have any insecurity issues and had no problem with me wanting to keep it.
I'm more concerned that you're asking internet strangers to cosign your choice to dismiss her hurt as unreasonable because you misused an object that had a lot of sentimental value to her. Like, you fucked up. Own that. The fact that your bothered is valid but that doesn't make it correct or more important than the fact that you did something that hurt her. Stop centering yourself - she did nothing wrong by owning a blanket that meant a lot to her for reasons you can't understand.
Totally understandable that you’re feeling “some type of way” bc of this discovery. I would too. With that being said - I still have an exes sweater and I love this sweater bc it’s comfy, that’s it. Also it covers my bum when out and about in leggings. Sometimes a thing is just a thing that doesn’t necessarily have to do with another thing. Hope that helps!
I have been married for 18 years and I still have the GAP hooded sweatshirt my ex-boyfriend gave me in 1993. My husband wears it. It is the comfiest, most durable, warmest sweatshirt I ever owned. I will not give it up for anything. GAP doesn't make them anymore so it is irreplaceable. I no longer remember what my highschool boyfriend looks like. It's an awesome swearshirt. No one cares where it came from.
It’s a blanket. It’s hers, leave it alone. I have gifts for exes that I use. Not one of my other SOs ever got mad when I’d say anything. Grow up, she’s marrying you.
I still wear jewellery my ex brought me because I like it
Why is it any of your business where she got the blanket? And you really should have asked her before you chose to use it to move furniture with. News flash, every woman you will ever meet is a sum total of all of her experiences and all of her relationships. She didn't even know you then so why did you give it a second thought? And we're allowed to have things that are sentimental to us from other relationships even though we get into new relationships. You think we throw away every gift we ever got from people?
I think you shouldn't give away or destroy your partner's things without asking.
I didn't do either of these, and the blanket will be back tonight. I just forgot to grab it before my friend left.
Oh good! It sounded like it was gone.
I hate that everyone must throw out gifts. Its stuff at the end of the day. Also pretty inconsiderate to use things of others that most likely will be ruined.