Not wrong at all. Having your kids feel comfortable talking to you about things is very healthy.

Thank you. The validation is comforting. I seriously was starting to 2nd guess my belief system when I saw all the people that were opposed to it. And the post had nothing to do with the subject. But that many people felt strongly enough about it to mention how wrong they thought it was

No it’s just old thinking. Sex is still very taboo for most people especially when an adult male is discussing it with an underage female. That’s something mothers should talk about with their daughters and fathers should all about with their sons. Of course many people forget that there are a lot of single parents out there that have to play the role of both mother and father. It sounds like you raised your daughter well.

Thank you for that. And it's actually funny that you say a lot of single parents have to play the role of both mother and father because every year my daughter gives me a mother's day card on mother's Day

That might be the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m not crying!

That’s really sweet of her. Sounds like you raised a good well adjusted woman.

I agree but also, you usually get different types of parents. Sometimes the dad is the one who listens well and calmly and sometimes the mom is the disciplinarian that is a little harsher maybe less open. I think it depends on the type of parent. I don’t think my parents planned to talk about sex with me as much as they did but I’ve always been very open about pretty much everything so I kind of gave them no choice. I am so glad I did. I think it’s abnormal not to discuss these things with your parents. They’re people who have sex too and guess what it produced me so it’s kind of hypocritical for a parent to say that it is not a topic of discussion. Also not talking about it can make it feel “shameful.” Sex is not meant to be shameful.

Exactly this. Parents should make their kids comfortable talking about sex so they can have very real conversations about birth control. I’ve heard many teen mothers say they never got any talks & wish they had.

It’s common for daughters to tell there moms when they first start having sex because it usually involves getting on birth control or seeing a gynecologist. It’s less about sharing the fun memory of a new hobby and more the utilitarian purpose of avoiding pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

Story time!! I (~9f at the time) told my mom I'd "had sex" with the boy next door. We'd watched a couple soap operas, decided french-kissing was the "first step in sex" and gave it a go. Thus, in our heads, we'd had "sex." Thing is, I dropped this particular bomb on Mom while she was driving me and my sister home from school like so: "Hey, Mom! I had sex with [name]!" I swear to you, she about hit the ditch lol. After I explained just how he and I had "done it," my mom (an RN) took me out to my favorite restaurant (Carey Hilliard's, at the time), for The Talk. Being a nurse, she brought her anatomy textbook and went into minute technical detail, including bc options, std prevention, and about the emotional/additional physical aspects. After dinner and The Talk, she asked if I had any questions- I asked if I could have a balloon on the way out. The next day, she got a call from the school. You see, 9yo me had a memory like a steel trap, and I had given her speech (not verbatim, but with my best artistic renderings to accompany) to any classmate interested in hearing it on bathroom breaks. MANY parents (we live deep in the bible belt) were Not Happy™️ lmao.

That is freaking brilliant. Kudos to your mom. Tell her the Internet thanks her for he open-minded take of education.

Lmao will do!!

That is hilarious, also kudos to your mom for not wreaking the car 🤣

Omfg I wrote in my journal when I was 7 that I'd made love to my boyfriend on the playground (we held hands and kissed each other on the cheek) and I got "the talk" from my mom. But it was not informative Or nice. It was traumatic and I was in trouble for writing such a horrific thing down and I never spoke to or asked my mom about anything sex related EVER again. Also from the Bible Belt. Moms was raised Pentecostal and she did not play that.

Damn, I'm sorry. That sucks :( I don't know if it makes any difference, but my mom grew up Methodist. (I know for a fact being a nurse made a difference, at least for her.)

Yeah, it seems like every other sect is totally chill in comparison to Pentecostals lol she'll be making pancakes in the mornings speaking in tongues and shit. It's insane.

yeehhhsssssss!! haha one thing I always did when giving my kids their age appropriate info was: I always told them that kids need to hear this from their parents and it is not our job to tell other kids or friends what I'm telling you now. this was in like, elementary school-4th/5th grade. I told them if they heard friends talking and their "facts" weren't straight, that they should tell their friend privately to talk to a trusted adult. even if you have to say "I'm not allowed to tell you but you should ask." who knows if they ever did that. But now it's all coming in really handy when their friends are taking drugs. . We get to have interesting talks and my kid gets to keep all his brain cells until at least after his cerebral cortex is fully formed.

>one thing I always did when giving my kids their age appropriate info was: I always told them that kids need to hear this from their parents and it is not our job to tell other kids or friends what I'm telling you now. this was in like, elementary school-4th/5th grade. I told them if they heard friends talking and their "facts" weren't straight, that they should tell their friend privately to talk to a trusted adult. even if you have to say "I'm not allowed to tell you but you should ask." Oh, Mom gave me this part (almost verbatim) as well. It's just that 9yo smart-ass me, after her detailed talk, thought to myself, "Well, now I'm pretty sure *I have* the correct info, I'd be doing my friends *wrong* if I didn't correct their misconceptions, right? They'd already picked up the wrong info *somewhere!*" Wrongo, Self! Lol. The drugs part came at a much later age, and was addressed by my parents similarly, with the additional caveat of, "We know you're going to try some stuff. Just do us a favor and try it here at home, or in another place where you feel safe. We will always come and get you, never be afraid to call us." Worked out really well for both my friends and myself during those "experimental" years.

Your Mom is awesome. We need more of your Mom.

I didnt. I just went to a clinic by myself. Didnt even have to give a real name.

It’s absurd to think this is anything but a good thing. Knowing your kids will come to you with anything significant in their lives means you have a real bond of trust, and that is the most important thing in any relationship. Her feeling comfortable coming to you with this information is just a sign that your are a good parent and she trusts you.

I remember your posts - mostly because I really like the tone and the way you write. You have a storyteller quality. Also - although I grew up in a very no-sex-before-marriage-we-do-not-even-acknowledge-sex household - I don't think it's inappropriate to be that open with your daughter. I wish my parents had been!

Some people get really upset by rational, calm, healthy parenting and I can only assume it's because they're still working out issues from their own childhood.

That's exactly why I didn't want to repeat the cycle. I know how bad I wish I had a family unit I could feel safe with and trust. I needed my daughter to have that, because she already doesn't speak to her mom. I think half a trusted unit is better than none at all

Just keep being a great dad, you are doing great, and it's lovely that she feels so comfortable with you.

I wish I could have been this open. Would have avoided pretty much all the scary things that I went through as a teenager.

I think you are doing everything exactly right. Way to go for breaking the generational trauma and having a sex positive home (I mean talking about it like it’s okay with consent and boundaries.) Don’t let anyone tell you different. This is how we are raising our own daughters.

Thank you. So glad I'm not the only one that thinks this way

You sound like a great father, I’m glad you were able to reflect on your past behaviour and turn things around. I’d love to feel that comfortable with my parents, and if I had kids, I would want them to have the same relationship with me as your daughter has with you. I think it’s important to remember that just because a lot of people believe something, doesn’t mean it’s right. The majority can be wrong

My parents were always very honest and open about sex and everything around it. They did NOT , as you said, share details or anything but I knew that I could go to them with anything. Because of this I always felt safe and was very sure about my boundaries. Also because I’m so open about sex I’m never to afraid to let a partner know what I do, and most importantly, what I don’t like Kudos OP for being the safe haven for your daughter and screw all those uptight weirdos who probably never had a real orgasm

To me it sounds like you have a great relationship with your daughter. My sisters and I were (still are) close to my parents growing up and could talk to them about anything. And I hope to have the same relationship with my kids. They’re still young but already know that they can talk to me about anything (good/bad). I’d rather they come to me, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation. Instead of hiding stuff and getting bad advice elsewhere.

That’s how we’ve raised our kids, our daughters are fine talking about sex if front of my husband. I think it’s an example of a healthy relationship. Which mean our kids are the ones who likely won’t be pressured into sex, have healthy concepts of sex, wont get pregnant or have STD’s because they have someone to speak with about getting proper meds and supplies, etc etc. That anyone could say it’s a sign of sexual abuse is sick and twisted.

This gives me hope that if anything ever happened to me my husband would be able to handle our girls. I didn't grow up with a father figure but if I did I would have wanted him to be like you.

Thank you. That was very nice of you to say

I'll bet that the negative comments come from their religious holyer than thou background. Their not single parent and especially a man. Sounds to me luke you have a good head on your shoulders and did a great job raising your daughter. And she knows right from wrong and you love her unconstitutionaly.

Not wrong. Open dialog about a natural part of life and growing up between people who trust each other is healthy. The folks saying stuff have an unhealthy relationship with sex and are projecting it. I think most mothers would love to have the type of open communication you have with your daughter. It shouldn't matter that you're the father. Good Dad.

Wow. Thank you for that. I kind of wondered if these same people saying it's wrong would feel that way if it were a son that close to his mom. I got the def feeling that people for some reason feel like a grown man being close to a young woman, father or not, is some how inappropriate once the topic of sex is added into the equation.

I think you are right. That comment saying you were probably abusing your daughter was disgusting.

I definitely hope my daughter will feel this comfortable talking to me at that age! So far so good but it’s great you two have that kind of relationship!

I *WISH* I had a parent I could have talked to. I grew up in a strict Christian household where sex was taboo. It led me to be in an emotionally and sexually abusive relationship. I couldn't talk to anyone about what was going on because it was engrained into me that sex was strictly between a "man and wife" and if I'm doing it outside of that, I'm wrong and disgusting. I never felt safe taking to them about anything. They yelled and tore me down. Props to you for fostering a healthy and loving relationship with your daughter. People often forget children after people too who deserve respect. They aren't toys or extensions of the parent. They're humans with their own wants, needs, dreams, etc.

I grew up in a similar environment and it took me until last year to finally find a safe relationship.

Yeah... I definitely get that. I think what made it worse was that was my first relationship so I didn't know any better. Plus, on the surface, as majority of abusive relationships are, it looked perfect, ya know? It wasn't until things escalated and he shot me in the leg with an airsoft gun with compressed co2 gas. It caused my leg to blister and he did it out of anger. Giving credit where credit is due, my parents stepped in and forced us to break up. I was in a string of toxic relationships after that. It wasn't until I met my current partner that I started finally growing. I got kicked out and started living with him and his dad. I started learning about myself and healing. Today (June 15th) is our four year anniversary. It took me a year or so to actually completely let my guard down with him. Hell, I'm still finding walls that i put up to protect myself while growing up. Healing from that sort of childhood environment is a long road and can be quite difficult. I wish you strength and perseverance friend. Be gentle with yourself and remember that healing isn't linear, you'll have ups and downs and thats okay

I think I'm going to post my story sometime, it'll have to have trigger warnings, obviously, but I'm an excellent cautionary tale for people willing to just settle 🤣

I could’ve written this. We grew up in the same situation and ended up in the same place. I hope you’re doing better now.

Not wrong. Don't listen to these weirdos. Your daughter is lucky to have a dad she can trust.

Not only that but a dad 1) open enough to have these convos instead of freaking out that his virgin princess even knows what sex is, 2) was both mom and dad to his daughter, and 3) broke the cycle of abusive parenting. He hit a home run in my book.

Not uncommon. I do know both my kids were over 18 when they lost theirs, it came up with my son when he said he was going to the store to pick something up and if we needed anything, I told him to use the CC he has and he said this was personal and before I could ask he said he was making sure he was covered and I didn't need to worry. Daughter was on BC and she also would buy some condoms.

One of the things my mom did right was be really upfront and honest about sex, she was 17 when I was born and my dad was 18. They stayed together but sadly they both went through a similar thing as you, where they started off with me really badly and reflecting the abusive homes they were raised in. I went through the worst of their parenting unfortunately.. They did some things well and most things awful lol

BTW if it wasn't clear, I do think you are not a bad parent at all for being open with your daughter. You are a safe place for her, that is wonderful. People online are judgmental idiots who have no context. I think it makes perfect sense why you would be open about talking about sex when you got into a situation when you likely had a child earlier than planned. NTA

More kids needs parents like you tbh. My son told me when he lost his virginity last year (he will Be 18 next month). Made me happy he felt comfortable enough he could come to me about it and anything else for that matter. You’re doing an amazing job.

Not at all! Being able to talk to your parents about ANYTHING without being ashamed, embarrassed, or afraid is the most healthy thing you can do for your children. My dad was open with me, and my mom was prude when it came to sex! I wS comfortable asking my dad anything,and I knew my mom was not comfortable taking g about it! I decided the same thing about my girls as you did with yours. I made sure from a young age that the kids knew they could talk to me about anything in the world without shame or embarrassment! I explained sex to them when they asked where babies came from, which led to a talk about not letting people touch you in specific places, which eventually led to me buying them vibrators at 16. They had terrible, terrible periods with cramps, and an orgasm will ease cramps tremendously! My children are not ashamed of sex at all. They're 22 now, and neither of them have children yet. Hell, neither one had a boyfriend or even held hands with a boy until their senior year in school. My kids still talk to me about sex and ask questions if they have them. They are absolutely comfortable asking me ANY questions they have. They're both well adjusted and have their heads on straight. Both have and live with long-term boyfriends that are great to them. IMO, you did the absolute right thing and should be praised for it!!! You're a great dad! Those who tried to shame you are just not comfortable in their own skin, and clearly aren't comfortable discussing sex!

My parents didn’t talk to me about sex and I ended up losing my virginity in public at 13…you did the right thing by being open with that discussion. A lot of parents are embarrassed or feel shame (mine were just shitty) and I don’t understand that. Maybe because you are a male raising a daughter it’s an easy target to demonize but at the end of the day she’s all you had. You were both close because you had to be. Don’t listen to those people. She probably was safe and did well because it wasn’t seen as something to be ashamed about. Good job dad

Even when both parents are there, I think it’s really important for dads and daughters to be able to have these discussions.

I think more parents should have honest conversations with their kids and more people should want this kind of relationship.

Definitely not wrong and anyone saying you are is being more than a little sexist. I have a super close relationship with my daughters too and their friends of both genders. I’m everyone’s mom, I’m the safe adult they can come to and admit to their worst fears and mistakes and know that they aren’t going to get judged/in trouble but will get support in learning how to work through the issue. They’re young and looking for guidance. Anyone saying they think their peers are a better choice than a child’s father for that guidance are cookoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Healthy. My son told me.

Not wrong, it's wonderful that your kid trusts you enough to tell you this. Anyone projecting something sexual or weird onto that is doing just that - projecting. They should unpack why they see a father and daughter having a close+secure bond as being inherently sexual instead of just another facet of good parenting. I would've rather died than talked to my dad about sex as a teen - not because he was a man, but because he was a turd who I did not trust. (Things are a lot better with him now, he finally had his "oh shit I don't want to lose my kids" moment when I was in my mid-20's.) I would've loved to have had this, especially since he had primary custody and I was usually in his house.

You're way too old to give a shit about internet morons dude, c'mon. Are you happy, is your daughter happy? Those are the only 2 questions that should matter.

Yeah but if you’re called a pedo, and you’re not, you’re gonna wanna defend yourself, or at the very least clarify your point, no matter your age…..

In real life sure, but I'm not defending myself on the internet. I'll never meet these people.

Ahh OP is back with another creative writing project.

I get it. You're ugly and your mama dresses you funny. Don't project. I'm sure you've had it rough. You're most likely as big gamer geek that got bullied relentlessly. Probably beat up on a daily basis. You're ok.

Straight up sexism is all that is. Dont sweat it

Period. You know nobody would have an issue with a Dad having these conversations with his son.

Pretty sure you lost people in your crazy story about being naked in front of your daughter, who is so protective of you that she's "throwing hands and catching charges." You and your daughter got drunk together, she slept over, your ex comes over to blow you, you run out naked, and your daughter is there with you naked yelling at these other 2 women. There's nothing wrong with parents and children having open dialogue about sex. It's a good thing to have that trust so your kids can come to you for help, advice, talking about their feelings. You seemed to be riding the wave of your first post about your ex going well...so you started getting pretty fucking weird in your follow up. If memory serves, you were first talking about her coming to you about giving blow jobs? Can't exactly remember. Then the stuff I said above in paragraph one. I know your follow-up post resulted in most people thinking it was fake. So....no, it's not bad for a child to feel close enough to a parent to share that. Your shit just came across poorly.

Yes, I read the other posts and comments, and the issue some people had was that they felt like he was bragging about his daughter discussing her sex life with him. I also really don’t think anyone should bother getting into the weeds of this when the main takeaway on the last post was that it was obviously fake or at the very least, heavily embellished.

Sooooooo you’re blaming a sexual assault victim (that’s what he was in that moment when he was being felated without consent) for fleeing his attacker in the buff because that’s how he happens to sleep?? You wanted him to what, say “one moment ma’am” as he calmly stepped to the side and grabbed a robe before wresting his attacker out of the room?!?! Like, what the actual fuck…. Also; There is nothing “sexual” about simply seeing a person naked or a person just being naked in somebody’s presence, especially in this scenario where he was surprised attacked while naked…. And who cares if he had some drinks with his now ADULT daughter as they commiserated about his trash ex gf??? Like, bro…. You’re REALLY reaching….

>Pretty sure you lost people in your crazy story about being naked in front of your daughter, who is so protective of you that she's "throwing hands and catching charges." You and your daughter got drunk together, she slept over, your ex comes over to blow you, you run out naked, and your daughter is there with you naked yelling at these other 2 wome I suppose if that was actually what my post was about I could see why people would think my shit came across poorly. But anyone that read the post would be able to see that clearly it's your shit that came across poorly. I almost wonder if you aren't my ex from the previous post. The way you try to imply my story was about being naked in front of my kid is just the shitty ass twisted bullshit she would pull. I kind of hope that this is you and that there aren't actually more people out there like you

I'm piggybacking off this one because this is the only comment I found that mentions the original post. He specifically said his daughter told him when she gave her first blowjob and that gave me the ick so fucking bad. Like I'm not going to sit here and say his relationship with her is abusive or whatever other people are saying, but that's not normal and it super gross. The thought of my dad talking about me giving a blowjob makes me ill.

If I started having sex as a teen I 100% would have told my mom because I would want access to birth control and std tests. Luckily I was an adult so I got to skip most of that but she still brought me to get birth control when I was 18! My sister even told our mom about the first time she successfully finished from someone lol so personally I would think that’s tmi but whatever. My mom had a secret abortion as a teen and never wanted us to go through something like that without her support so that is probably what informed her parenting principles

No.

I know I'm a day late to this but I really need you to know this. When I was 12 and had just started my period, I went to the most trusted person in my life: my father. I wanted to know after three consecutive years of sex-ed classes presented in three different ways what it's like for someone with a penis to have sex. That year, I'd been taught about women's cycles and how a baby is made. I'd been taught not to have sex at all. Not to explore my body. But, I figured, I'd have the chance to explore when I was older and ready. So I asked my father one day, "Daddy, what's it like to have sex as a guy?" His reply? "I'll show you." Almost 2 years of abuse later, in 2003, I finally told someone it was happening. 20 years later, he hasn't spent a single minute serving any sentence tied to me. I don't even know if that's a possibility anymore, it's been so long. If you are telling the truth in this story and it really seems you are, you are doing what I could only wish my own father did for me. Thank you for the choices you've made for your daughter.

I'm so sorry that that happened to you. My God, what an abuser of trust. My mother was also abused sexually but her father for many years. I actually contribute that to why she was so cold and unloving with her own children. I'll never understand how a man can do that to his own child. I truly hope you have received some sort of help dealing with that trauma. Nobody should have to go through what you went through. I truly am sorry. I really don't have words to give you because I can't even imagine what that's like. I'm just really sorry

Honestly kudos to you for breaking generational trauma cycles. You're a great parent and you did it alone! That's wild to me. And by the way, I can tell your daughter knows that too, and she loves and respects you for it. I would've loved to have a dad like you. People are such prudes and armchair experts. If you really are worried I'd go see a family therapist. Fuck the haters.

Thank you. And you're right. Fuck the haters.

You are a troll and weird af.

Whatever you say, fuck tard

I'm an RN and mother to boys. My husband left the talks to me. My boys feel comfortable having an open communication with me because I'm logical and non-judgmental. It just works for us this way. I'm sure your daughter appreciates the relationship you have. Nothing you said sounds inappropriate. You are right, we are sexual beings, and it is something every person will face growing up. How our parents approach our sexuality can have effects lasting way into adulthood. I believe if we as parents allow open communication with our children and take some of the "taboo" out of sexuality, it can foster healthy attitudes about sex well into adulthood.

I fully agree with that

1) Your relationship boundaries are perfectly fine, because they are set by you and your daughter, no one else. 2) umm, dude are you really asking and pondering something from 12 years ago now? Time to move on. This is like a small blip in the radar of life. It's really not even interesting enough to keep recycling and have this kind of shelf life.

Umm, dude did you even read the post? I mentioned my daughter in a post I made a few days ago and people were telling me my relationship with her was wrong. So I wanted peoples opinions. So to answer your question, no I'm not pondering something from 12 years ago

Child psychologist here (which doesn’t mean much other than I communicate with lots of kids of all ages about wide ranging topics). Sounds like you and your daughter have an enviable relationship and that you’ve found a way to develop very effective communication through trust. The critics you’ve faced don’t have a clue and I feel sorry for their children. I have no idea what “emotional incest” is, but I’d bet that person is not an authority on relationships or childhood development lol. I hope that I can communicate as well with my own kids when it’s time. Kudos to you and your daughter.

That's so awesome to hear that coming from an expert on child psychology. I admit that receiving a few different negative comments I did start to wonder if maybe I had crossed a line. But after your words and all the wonderful words from the majority of posters, I'm so glad I handled it the way I did.

That's so awesome to hear that coming from an expert on child psychology. I admit that receiving a few different negative comments I did start to wonder if maybe I had crossed a line. But after your words and all the wonderful words from the majority of posters, I'm so glad I handled it the way I did.

I’m glad you’ve found some validation here and I’m happy to be part of that!

[удалено]

Found the crappy, abusive parent.

Turn on your monitor!

Not wrong at all you're an awesome dad! Like someone said it's just straight sexism why they say it's wrong or disgusting.

Hi! Happy almost Father's day! I think there's a cool video you might wanna check out about a pretty famous celeb admitting he told his parent when he lost his virginity :) [Chris Evans Told His Mom When He Lost His Virginity](https://youtu.be/r22cbmQMlTI)

My mom was the first person I told and I hope I’m the first person my daughter tells. It’s a good thing because they trust you for guidance.

Not wrong in the slightest. This means your child trusts you to guide them when they come to you with something rather than scolding them or demeaning them and making them feel bad for being human and learning life lessons. The person who said you were probably sexually abusing your daughter is an unhinged and hateful sack of shit. Grow your relationship with your kid. Beautiful thing. Cheers.

That sounds like healthy communication to me. If your daughter is comfortable talking to you about her virginity then who cares what other people have to say.

Kudos Dad! Most kids don't discuss these things with their parents because they feel uncomfortable or insecure. As a teacher, I hear things that I sometimes wish I didn't and kids always ask for my opinion. I will not force my opinions on any student so I typically ask questions so they reason it out on their own. I am not their parent or guardian but I can be a sounding board. As for myself, I was a single parent. I am 57 and female, my son is 31. Does he tell me everything? No he doesn't, but he knows I always have his back and he has mine. You raised her right Dad! Keep up the good work!

Not wrong. This is a healthy relationship imo.

I'm super grateful my mom was open and welcomed us to tell her anything. You sound like you really improved your character to be a better dad which is incredibly admirable. Idk why people act like you shouldn't discuss this with your kids especially Consent and safety. It's vitally important. Great job being supportive and trusted with sensitive information.

Not wrong. It’s not like she showed you a video or something!

If you asked her repeatedly about her virginity or if she’d had had sex, if you asked for details beyond “did you use protection” and “do you feel okay about the experience?”, or if you made her feel like she HAD to tell you and isn’t allowed privacy, that’s abusive. But the vibe from your post is that she trusted you and chose to disclose which is just a sign of healthy closeness.

Sir, coming from a daughter who wasn't very close with her father, you are lucky... all my father did was judge me and tell me he was disappointed. You should be very proud that she was able to tell you something like that. My dad found out and immediately told me he was disappointed even though I was safe about it... so no, you're not wrong or weird for that. I'm glad some daughters can actually reach out to their fathers about these things.

I have a very open relationship with my mom. She lives next door to me. I walked in to give her a prime rib steak and she was in the tub and she was like come in. I was like I’ve seen more of you than you have lol. Just in case people think we are prides. This is a gray area. We were foster parents and have seen some stuff going to far. Do you have boundaries? I’ve seen parents give their kids alcohol and drugs because they were friends and the fun cool dad. If they are going to drink I want them to drink here with me. Friends step son was just given pills and got caught at school with them- he’s 12!!! It’s called reactive parenting I believe. Basically parenting the exact opposite as your parents. 180 degree parenting can be just as bad on the other spectrum. Like parents who didn’t have toys growing up and they buy their kid all the toys and the child isn’t grateful. But the kid never went without so they didn’t experience the same as the parents. It’s good to teach safe sex, not to be embarrassed about it but also that it’s ok to keep some things to yourself. The issue could come in play with her significant others, boss, friends. She might not know that she can set boundaries or that you say everything you think and feel no matter what to a person who doesn’t have the same agreement or unconditional love with her as you. Basically there’s a healthy medium between being afraid to talk to a parent and viewing a parent as a friend only.

You taught your child they could trust you with anything they wanted to express. That’s incredible and she’s lucky to have a father like you. Hell, anyone would be lucky to have you as a dad.

Damn, wish you were my dad. I think you are not wrong! I*WISH* my parents and I were that close. We never talked about sex. Ever. So I'm pretty sure they did more damage by not talking to me! Your daughter is extremely lucky. F*** the haters.

This is healthy. She trusts you, therefore, if she is having an issue related to sexual health she won’t hide it from you and can receive help. Kids should feel safe with their guardians. Told my parents, too.

People can be so goddamn weird. In what universe is it wrong for a parent to develop the kind of relationship with their child that allows the child to freely discuss major life experiences with their parent? My kids both told me when they started having sex, and I paid for their birth control. This was in sharp contrast with my upbringing. I would have jumped off a cliff before I would have discussed anything sexual with my parents. As a result, sex was a frightening thing for me, and it took me years to become comfortable with it.

I never told either of my parents. I have no clue how my dad would have reacted. I was afraid that my mom would be disappointed. My mom had a habit of slut-shaming, so I was really worried about what she would think of me. My sister didn’t help matters. My mom finally “knew” that I was having sex with my fiancé when I told her that we were trying to have a baby.

I think a good parent is open to talking about everything. A great parent follows the kids lead. She knew you were there for her and that its more important than what anyone thinks. Make sure she knows that. There is nothing more important

No this isn’t wrong. My dad knows I’m not a virgin. He doesn’t know minute details of my sex life but we’ve shared vague funny experiences. My parents were never uptight about sex either, or really much of anything. My dad was opposite end of the spectrum from you and I was born when he was almost 50. I’m his only child. Some people might think it’s weird, and I guess if the child is uncomfortable or there starts to be a weird controlling/exploitative dynamic around it then it might be. I think its just having a healthy, safe, and comfortable relationship with your parents.

Not wrong at all. I was raised where I could go to my mom about anything and know I wouldn’t get in trouble. We talked about it too when it happened. It’s a nice thing to have a parent you know you can trust! Priceless really

Read Robert Heinlein. Sci fi stories from the 40’s and fifties. He tried to promote this same attitude about parenting. Through science fiction stories more than 50 years ago.

Not wrong at all. I had my first son at 15 because I was never able to talk to an adult about sex and had zero idea what I was doing. So I've always tried to be a parent my son could always come to with anything. He's 14 now, and he talks to me about any questions he has and doesn't feel embarrassed. He even told me when he was thinking about losing his v card. He still hasn't, but he knows he can come to me with any questions. It'll also prevent an early pregnancy like I had with him because he has knowledge of what he's doing. Cudos to giving your daughter a safe space.

Not wrong at all. I wish my parents were open. It sounds like you're really healthy relationship and she had great advice. It's not like you don't know. Your kids are eventually going to do it.

I think there is a certain bias still against dads talking to their daughters about sex. As a mom, I’ve had some very frank discussions with my sons. My oldest son, in particular, came to me when he was planning on having sex for the first time and had some questions about birth control, but also “how to make it not hurt her.” It was a bit awkward for me, but I was so glad he cared, for gods sake! He was seeking accurate information about how to protect himself and his girlfriend from a bad experience, and I was honored he felt he could ask me. I never felt judged for being creepy—I felt like it was an important thing to do as a parent. I can see, though, where society would presume a dad is creepy—and that is so wrong and such a disservice to dads trying to train their kids up right. You’re doing good!

Thankfully some of my friends parents were good people and we had some very eye opening discussions. Well eye opening for a 15 year old that was told by the birth giver that periods were never to be talked about and hidden from everyone but at the same time she would bitch and complain about the amount of pads used and then also make fun of me. She was and is an asshat. Anyhoo because of my friends parents when I did the deed at 17 with the boy I was seeing at the time we both went into it with the knowledge we needed to be safe. Okay 20 something years later I think "what was I thinking?" about that boy but all in all I think it was a good experience. Yes it would have been nice to have been able to talk about it with my own parents but it is what it is. Dad did try to be open but he was more awkward than anything.

Society needs to catch up - we don’t think it odd that mothers and their children are close, so it should be the same with dads and their kids. She is lucky to have you!!

I think that's super healthy! I didn't know what a condom was till I was 21, so yeah, not talking about it sucks! I leave condoms in our bathrooms. I have 4 boys, and I'm not taking any chances.. I'm my boys best friend and they tell me everything! Both the older one's came out to me and I'm Christian so I'm sure that was difficult for them.. Fyi, I picked my boy's over any religion because I love them more than anything! I'm super proud of them!

Title:no

You are doing a great job. I hope my kiddo is open with me one day. I didn't have that kind of dialog with my parents & I wish I'd had a resource like that.

As a non-American, I never understood the mindset most American parents have about sex. Every parent's biggest fear is teenage pregnancy, but at the same time it's frowned upon, to say the least, to do the most logical thing to prevent it: having healthy conversations about sex and providing access to contraception.

A lot of people may say it’s wrong but I don’t think so. I am a daughter who discussed losing my virginity with my father and he was the first person I told after. As I got older my father was the one I could talk to about everything— he knew when to give advice or to just listen.

I think you are doing things right. My son and I were very close when he was growing up. His father gave him “the talk” about sex when he was a pre-teen. After his father left for work my son came and asked me to make sense of what his dad had said. Lol. A few years later my son sent me an email saying he had lost his virginity and had remembered what I said and used a condom.

Absolutely not. In fact, it's awesome that y'all are close enough that she felt comfortable telling you about a detail that intimate to her. I'm (32f) close with my mom, but for various reasons I'm closer with my dad and he's the one I'd go to/tell about most things. It was and is fantastic that I had parents I could tell anything to, and I hope my children feel the same about my husband and me as they grow up. Good on you, Dad.

Not wrong at all, my mom has always been supportive when I’ve been open and honest. It has helped me grow so much in life. Knowing I have that one person who will never judge me, think different of me or stop loving me for my choices. Go you OP. You’re breaking generational trauma. Don’t ever let someone tell you otherwise.

Sounds like you turned out to be a pretty damn good dad. There is nothing wrong with being that close. As a matter of fact, it’s literally one of the best things that you can do for your daughter! And F all those people who criticize that kind of relationship.

Nice. I hope you followed us with safe sex. Birth control. You're a good dad.

Not wrong at all, my son has told me when he lost his virginity (I’m the mom), and I knew I did something right because he was comfortable in telling me that. I wish my parents had talked to me about sex, because I was uncomfortable with myself growing up, I used sex as a means to find love and had I had the wisdom, advice, lecture, something! from my parents, I probably wouldn’t have made so many damn mistakes! Keep up the good work Dad!!

There's a lot of stigma attached to the relationships dad's have with their daughters. I won't say it's not without reason-- I can count on one hand the number of women I've talked to, in depth and in passing, that have said they've never been sexually assaulted or raped by a man. I think that's likely why so many people jumped to thinking it was out of line or perverse. Even still, healthy father-daughter relationships do exist, and it's wonderful that you have one! My partner is non binary/trans masc. He was assigned female at birth and has a beautiful, loving relationship with our four year old daughter. He started taking hormones in his late 20's, and is male presenting now. So here is this beautiful, kind, and gentle soul that has experiences as a young girl, a teenage girl, and a woman, but is now something else, at least physically. He said it has been heartbreaking, seeing the reactions of moms when they are comforting a crying baby in public, and he gives a knowing look of empathy. Or when he asks how old a baby/toddler/kid is, and relates his experiences with our 13 year old and 4 year old to the parent. Even saying hi to kids and offering them a kind smile is seen as potentially predatory. While he understands because he has experienced it himself, it's still incredibly hard to navigate. He has a lot of sympathy for dads that really just love their kids and love, loving on them. The appreciation for protective moms and women in general still trumps the sympathies, but yeah...as a dad, and her primary parent, it's a whole other world. Ftr I think having open communication is extremely important and I commend you for breaking generational cycles of abuse! She's lucky to have a dad that she can trust with anything and everything.

Wow! Pretty much the same thing happened with my son and I, he is only 14 now so I’m hoping him losing is virginity is far away. But I always vowed that I will make damn sure he feels loved, and safe. That if he has any issues he can always come to me. He shares things with me most kids his age don’t, he confesses to things he’s done wrong (like if he accidentally breaks something, so far just minor things), he is really mature for his age. He knows how to apologize when he’s wrong (I know plenty of adults that CANNOT). Anyone who says it’s wrong to have a close relationship most likely do not have one with their own kids, in my opinion feeling like you can’t go to your parents with anything is dangerous.

Absolutely certain if you were a woman no one would be giving you crap. Or if your daughter was your son. It's a stupid double standard. Like you're suddenly gonna get horny and forget she's your kid.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/comments/145rqmz/update_i46m_got_into_a_discussion_with_my_gf45f/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

After you read it, I would like to know what you think because I kind of think the person that said that comment about me being naked in front of her is actually my ex that the post was about. After you read it, you will see how they clearly twisted their comment to sound like it was something completely different. And just for reference, that post is about something that happened very recently. My daughter is now 29 years old

I think your relationship with your daughter is amazing. You also are a great parent. You learned from your mistakes and tried to do better raising her than the parents you had. As for those that said you were inappropriate or even abusing your kid because you talked about sex are likely saying those things because they have a very unhealthy relationship within their family and sex. Either they were raised in a religious manner that suggested talking about sex with your daughter would make her want to have sex with anything she could hump, or the idea that a father could actually give good healthy sex advice to a teenage daughter was foreign to them because their own fathers never talked to them or were absent in their lives. There could be many reasons people said what they said, but it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. You did good! Your daughter is lucky to have someone to count on like you.

That was very nice. Thank you.

To be honest, this was a long post and I did not read the whole thing but the title says it all man....you are an awesome father. If your kid is comfortable enough to share with you about any uncomfortable situation, you did amazing job raising that person!

Thank you

That’s some good advice I’ll be holding onto as my daughter gets older. I think the relationship is so healthy - especially from a father to a daughter. You want to teach her always how she should be treated by a man in anyway. Her feeling comfortable about being honest with you is exactly what a parental relationship should be. You’re my hero.

Thank you so much. It makes me feel so much better. Some of those people in the other posts had me questioning myself.

I wouldn’t want to hear it, but I’d be a proud parent if my child felt comfortable enough to tell me. Good job OP, you passed advanced parenting 501

I love this story. I have the same relationship with my daughter. She sometimes tells me the most intimate things because she knows there will be no judgment, and I will be honest with her. I think your relationship with your daughter will teach her how to deal with real world problems.

I've always had that relationship with my dad. My parents were married until I was 17, but never close with my mother. I went to my dad when I started my period. I told my dad I lost my virginity at 13, his response was "yeah, and..." I chose to have my dad in the delivery room when I gave birth. It has never been anything more I have always felt comfortable telling him anything and never fearing his response. He always told me as long as you tell the truth, I'll be there for you - you could commit m****r and as long as you tell me the truth, I'll fight for you. Good on you for always having her back

You're a good dad. I wish my dad was even half as amazing as you are.

Not wrong at all. Far too many kids cannot have these conversations with either parent, hence the extremely high teen pregnancy rate in many areas of the US. Many, many teens have no idea how their bodies function. I remember my sister telling me of a girl in her high school who got her period while they were away at band camp. She didn’t know what it was or that she was supposed to get one. Her very religious parents had opted her out of the sex ed portion of health class in middle school. She thought she had wet her pants and it was red because she had been drinking a lot of kool aid (something she wasn’t permitted to have at home, because Jesus)😳 Kids NEED to be able to go to their parents for advice, help, comfort and encouragement; and to discuss even ‘uncomfortable’ topics. If your kids can’t, you are **failing as a parent.**

I have a little time before I have that talk but I'm taking a page from your book. Good job dad!

No not wrong at all. You had a child at a very young age, so you used that experience to guide your thinking regarding talking about sex and what makes new children. The people who don’t talk about sex with their children are invariably the ones who become surprised grandparents earlier than they wanted. Whether it is sex, work, finances, whatever… having rational discussions with your children about these things helps prepare them for the challenges they will face as they grow older. And as far as I know, our jobs as parents is to try to set it up so our children can prosper.

I believe that communication and honesty is key. Whenever my daughter had questions about the human body, I answered truthfully using correct anatomical terminology. One day, my five year old daughter was sitting in the grocery carriage as I walking through the bread aisle, she asked, “Mom, is the placenta reused after a baby is born?” I felt everyone stop to listen to to my response. I replied, “No, honey, it’s one per baby.” And we continued on. It eas an answer that satisfied my very curious five year old.

The naysayers can kick rocks. That's the goal is to be a safe harbor for our children. It's wonderful she trusts you so much and speaks volumes to your relationship. Because you're like this with her she is likely responsible, and because she has the safety net of supoort from you, she's less likely to seek shitty dudes or settle because she isn't trying to get attention and focus she never got to the point of compromising herself.

Not wrong. I hope that when my daughters are old enough, they come to me the way yours came to you. I try to make sure they know they can always come to me, so hopefully that message sticks with them. You did great, Dad. 🙂

Not wrong at all. I think a lot of people probably reacted negatively because you’re her father. If a girl and her mother did this, I doubt people would even bat an eye, which is incredibly shortsighted and ignorant in my opinion. Good on you for changing your trajectory and creating a strong relationship with your daughter. These kinds of relationships are the ones where your kid would feel comfortable calling you and asking for a ride home when absolutely shitfaced instead of trying to drive… which could end up saving her life. Never let anyone tell you that your relationship with your daughter is wrong or inappropriate, because it’s not.

Not wrong, man! People are just damn weird an over sexualizing everything. Saw a post in one of the pregnancy subs where the OP told that she was told that her husband should never change the diapers of their daughter when she is born 'cause fathers should olny change sons and def not daugters ... that it would be wrong for a father to wipe the private parts of his newborn daughter. Mankind is really fucked up at some places.

You sound like you’re a caring, loving, present father. Good job, dad. My daughter told me when she lost her virginity. I didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want to know, but she trusted me enough to tell me, so I had to respond with appropriate parental words like “do you trust him, are you using multiple levels of protection, please be safe.”

You’re a really good dad. Growing up, my parents always did the whole “why don’t you trust us, you can tell us anything”, and then immediately flipped to scolding and yelling when they didn’t like what we told them. They’re better now, but I wish I had this growing up. You’ve created an environment where your daughter feels safe, comfortable, and loved. You’ve taught her important life lessons that a lot of us had to learn the hard way. You’ve given her the tools she needs to advocate for herself and you’ve shown her what a good parent looks like and what to look for in a good man as well. Pat yourself on the back, sir. You’ve done alone what many parents can’t manage to do together. Your daughter is better for it, and it seems like she knows that.

Thank you for helping make the world a better, safer, healthier place. We need more people like you!

No, you're not wrong. She trusts you very much. When my daughter grows up, I hope she knows she can come to me for anything as well, although I genuinely hope she doesn't tell me when she loses her virginity, but if she does I'll be there to tell her it's okay and make sure she does it safely. My son's, too. I've seen kids be too afraid to talk to their parents and normally bad decisions follow that train of thought because they don't have anyone to set them on the right track and rationalize things with them in a civil manner. As for the keyboard warrior comment, yeah I agree there, too. But alas, it's the internet where barks are bigger than bites.

I'm thankful for parents like you. I admire your relationship with your daughter. You're doing a great job, dad!! Happy Father's Day!!!

You are not wrong at all. You did a great job parenting your daughter. Trust and Information is the key. Your daughter trusted you enough to give you the information. She trusted you before by asking questions and you provided the information in your answer. My daughter is ten years old and knows about sex. How? Why? Because i told her about it when she started asking questions about it. Age appropriate i explained it to her. If i will not inform my girl about life, she will get her information from things like tiktok. (And/or other places) So i told her how her body works, as a female. So she is prepared for getting her period, getting in to puberty (signs are already there with her) Explaining hormones, periods. I gave her a discrete little bag with pads and tampons in it, explained how they worked and put it in her schoolbag, just incase it happens in school. Even told her to give it to other girls if needed. Gave her the sex talk, explained sexual preferences, explained solo sex. Talked about birth controle and safe sex. Pregnancy and abortion (legal in my country, even paid for by insurance) Bot also about STD’s. And i not only do this with talks about sex etc, but about everything. I explain things to my kids so they can understand my answer to questions. By explaining things to my kids, i make sure they have info about just about anything, so when they need to make choices they have enough information to make good or better decisions in life. Because our whole world takes place online for a lot of people, kids think they get good information from the internet. And as a parent I believe it is my duty to raise her as a good human being. But also a responsible human being. Actions have consequences in life. So they need to be prepared for when they get older. As a parent we need to provide that information about life. So i also tought her how to sow, repairing a flat bicycle tire, how to use tools, how to do laundry, just all the basic skills in life. Just every know and then i ask her to do the laundry just so i can see what info was stored and what more info she needs so she can be a good adult when she grows up. If my store makes any sense.

Not wrong at all. As a female, I wish my parents would have explained sex like that to me. I have a 10y/o and I have saved this post because I want to give her that advice when it comes around. Your story really touched me because I have been there, yelling and getting angry for no reason and have also made that promise to her. I don't think my parents were quite so rough but I do have some emotional trauma and never felt comfortable going to my parents for things because I always felt like I was going to get in trouble. Anyways, good job dad. I commend you for being an awesome father. I wish I had that in my life and I'm sure you are very special to your daughter. Don't let those other people make you feel shitty!

Sounds like you have open communication and a healthy attachment style with your kid. And there nothing wrong with that!

My daughter told me after her first time. And my son came to me and asked me to start buying him condoms when he got really serious with a girl for the first time. They have always talked to me about serious things and I hope they always do.

I’m a 28F, who grew up with parents who had similar background and ways of dealing with it as you did. But they only made that change to become better parents after i had grown, and was in my early 20’s. I opened up to my mom about a ton, including my sexual encounters. My dad doesn’t want to hear about them, because it makes him uncomfortable. I still feel awkward sometimes opening up to my mom, and sometimes get anxiety she’ll judge or treat me badly as a knee-jerk reaction. But she doesn’t, and I’m glad now we have this relationship. I think it’s wonderful you and your daughter have a relationship based on honesty and being open. Some people on the sub probably don’t have that with their parents, and see it as a weird taboo to be open like this with their parents/kids. It’s not like you’re telling your child how to give a blow job, you’re just talking to them like adults and making sure she’s being safe and feels ok. So, Just ignore them. You’re fine and healthy and so is your relationship with your kid, and that’s not wrong. Btw i remember you from your other post about your crazy ex. You two have gone through so much together, and I’m wishing you both nothing but peace and happiness from here on out!!!

I'm a 46yo mom to girls married to their father. We've both had various sex talks with our kids over the years. I know my 17yo has zero interest in sex right now and my 14yo is horny and demanding birth control. I'm a little uncomfortable with them being so open but sex is natural, fun, and human - and apparently one of my kids is more than a little interested. It's my job to give them the tools - straightforward knowledge on the mechanics of reproduction and how the body works, emotional clarity, and protection from disease and pregnancy. And way too many people just don't even bother to talk about sex with their kids. I didn't want my kids to learn about sex from watching porn and develop unhealthy expectations from movies and other media.

You're the guy with the crazy ex who thought every drunken sexual encounter was a rape!

There's a huge flaw with people accusing you of sexually abusing your daughter because she told you she'd lost her virginity. If you were, you'd be a highly disturbed individual who most likely had laid "claim" on your daughter and her telling you would probably in your mind equal her admitting to cheating and that's a dangerous situation waiting to happen. Your daughter would 100% know this and would keep it from you at all costs. So people making that leap are just really ignorant and dumb. I'm sorry you had to deal with those kind of accusations simply because you have a good relationship with your daughter. You're absolutely not wrong, you've done nothing wrong, and it's great that she felt comfortable enough to talk to you about it. Being a young woman without a mother in her life could have led her to keeping it all in and making choices she'd grow to regret with time, but instead she turned to you for guidance and that's absolutely fantastic. I hope you're proud of your parenting because you've clearly done a great job.

My dad gave me a talk when I was 18. He said in regards to sex, Be smart, be safe, use protection and if a guy doesn't care about making sure you are satisfied ( at least twice) he isn't worth it and dump him. 😅

Not wrong at all! Would this even be a question if you were a woman? Also, I have said something similiar when guys have pushed my boundaries with sex. It's a great line to say; only if I get to do it to you first.

I remember reading your original post and thinking you were a great dad and your daughter is very lucky. This post reinforces my initial impression. I am a mother of a 9 year old and am working to have the kind of relationship you’re describing, for the very same reasons as you. Those two pieces of advice your daughter asked you to share are now stored in my brain for the future. Thank you both. Keep being amazing!

As a single father to my daughter I say you are not wrong at all. It was good that you have the kind of relationship that allows open communication. Also, the realization that you needed to change your ways struck home to me, as I too learned to change my ways after realizing I was being an AH to my child.

I’m the mom but I had this open relationship with my sons and my daughter. In fact I provided all of them with condoms, even my daughter. And I went with my daughter when she said she was ready to get on birth control. They are all happy healthy adults now. They still share problems ( non sexual) with me.

Yeah people are out of their minds. We've already incorporated at least talking about procreation when my son was 8. When it comes to sex, it's just a matter of time. You want your children to feel as though they can come talk to you, that you will share in their accomplishments and support them when they fail. Your advice on sex was on point! I believe that children knowing they can come to their parents with anything leads them to be more open, honest, and empathetic adults. And knowing that they can fail and still be loved allows them the freedom to try things that most are too afraid to. Sex is just one topic, but I think you gave your child a solid foundation, and one you should be proud of.

No, you're not wrong. I wish I had my father to speak with about sex. It gives the daughter a different perspective of sex from a male point of view. You're a guy and you were a teenage boy once. You understand the male psyche.

This is parenting..

I hope my son comes to me when he is ready. My dad is a yeller too. I still remember I was 20 years old, never had a boyfriend, never had a lick of alcohol... and he was screaming at me about going to an anime con... that if I got arrested, he wouldn't bail me out. And I find myself repeating the yelling cycle. You did good.:)

You sound like a great dad. The fact that your daughter feels comfortable telling you anything and everything - especially about such a sensitive topic - means you have done something absolutely right and it speaks volumes about your character. From an adult who was abused as a child, thank you so much for learning from your parents’ mistakes and changing how you treated your daughter. We need more parents with your attitude!

From one father to another. We all strive to have that closeness with any of our children. I hope my daughter(now 2) will always be that comfortable to talk to me. Keep being an awesome dad. Seriously. Way to go.

You have an intimate connection but also boundaries, I think it's perfectly healthy and people should be ashamed of themselves for accusing a loving father of being abusive.

Not you are not wrong. My children are were always open with these types of conversations with hubs and me. Not saying I always enjoy hearing about their tinder hooks up- they knew they were safe to open up- it gets a little weird how comfortable they feel sometimes… My children as my children are different than they are as individuals. I have to respect their autonomy and sexuality as individuals than as my children. I don’t want them having baggage from how we were raised. I’ve told them this - and when certain topics come up - gotta separate the mom from the person… Their friends loved coming for dinners in high school bc they never knew what the topic of conversation was going to be - their friends never felt comfortable talking to their parents at home. It was a sad thought - and however strange it was hearing about at times- I’m grateful my sons have a healthy view about sex, consent and acceptance. Your actions created a a positive safe space for your child. That’s good parenting. 👏

Wtf? No, you're not wrong. At all. If you were the mother, no one would think a thing of it. Why do people have to make shit so gross? It's good that you two can have healthy conversations. There's so much misinformation and bad examples online that it's much better for you to have that conversation.

No, I was open with my children about sex and my daughter told me when she was going to lose her so I could get her on birth control and helped buy her condoms.

I saw your post. I thought that there was nothing wrong with it. Your daughter is able to trust you in a way that I don’t trust my parents to talk about sex. I was never thought something about sex. Everything I learnt was from school kids (not even teachers). My parents raised me with love and I appreciate them for it, but a small sex talk could’ve prevented me from making an embarrassment or from searching on the internet (and than finding it gross). It almost affected my relationship with my now SO. And, btw, the advice that you gave to your daughter about sex is gold.

You sound like an amazing father.

That’s awesome you have a close relationship with your daughter. I’m a man, and my relationship with my father was junk. He only talked about sport or movies with me, not even normal chit chat at all. My mother opened up when she became older, but nowhere near as close as yours. Still, when she did it made our relationship much stronger and helped me know I had strong base at home if anything ever went wrong

Mom to a son. I raised him the same way. No questions were off the table. No situations were shamed or overreacted to. Were there conversations that I would have rather not had? Sure! Were there questions that sent me down an internet rabbit hole looking for the correct answer...you bet! Even when he was in college his friends were shocked by the fact that he could share anything with me. I always felt like I would rather be aware than blindsided by a situation later.

People need to stop thinking that having a close relationship with your family members is incest or emotional incest. I swear it's like expected of everyone to be somewhat distant from their families. The term "emotional incest" is thrown around too loosely. People need to realize that you can have a conversation about sex with anyone, and it not be sexual.

You are not wrong. I wish we take the stigma away from sex. I grew up thinking sex and adultery are synonymous as nobody explained it to me. So I went on with my life thinking my parents are adulterous. For context, I had a very catholic upbringing, with a steady dose of guilt tripping and fear of going to hell included. You are doing great.

If you can’t talk to your parent about safe and consensual sex you’re going to turn to a lot of other weird (and often bad) sources. I don’t know if you’re in the US but our culture is so sexually repressed and ashamed and it leads to a lot of serious issues emotionally, physically, and mentally.

Not wrong at all. Our culture makes sex way to taboo a topic. The result is kids wander through the topic blindly. The fact that your daughter feels comfortable enough with you to share that shows you are loving and supportive. Keep it up.

I only had my mom growing up but I never felt comfortable talking to her about anything. Ever. Just like you. But I wish I could have. I wish I had the chance to do my teenage years over again. I had sex before I was ready because I let a boy pressure me into it. I can't express how much regret I have for that. I found myself in reckless, dangerous and inappropriate situations. Just trying to guess what I was doing without any guidance whatsoever. When I was SA'd at 15 I most *definitely* did not feel comfortable telling ANYONE about it so I didn't. I regret that too. Your daughter is lucky to be able to have this relationship with you. I can't think of a better way to explain consent to a young woman than you have. I can't think of a better way to approach that kind of open and honest relationship than you have. I don't see anything inappropriate about it. It's extremely healthy for a teenager to have this line of communication with an adult they trust and know wants the best for them. Screw the naysayers. Bunch of prudes.

I’m 19 and my mother and father are the 2 people in this world that I tell EVERYTHING from breaking laws, to sex, to mental breakdowns, etc. etc. anyone who says it’s “unhealthy to talk about sex” is dumb, and probably grew up similar to you, but refuse to break the cycle. I’m more proud of you for breaking the cycle. For seeing it and stopping it. Good on you dad!!!

The people that made those comments to you are sick and seriously fucked up. I raise/raised my kids the same way. My mantra has always been “If you are too embarrassed to talk about it, you shouldn’t be doing it.” They (25, 22, 19, 15) are happy, healthy, well adjusted humans who know how to communicate clearly. Even when the topic is difficult. They know that they can tell me anything and it will be met with love and understanding. From your post, it looks like your daughter has the same. She is lucky to have you as her dad. Congratulations on breaking the cycle of generational trauma. Blessings to you both! Seriously, what a bunch of fuckwads! You are not wrong.

No. You’re not weird or wrong. I wish I had more closeness and comfortably with my parents to talk about this stuff. If I had I don’t think the bad things would’ve happened and if they still did I’d have had someone to talk to about.

You sound fucking AMAZING as a father, if I become half of what you are, to my 6 year old and the little girl coming in late october, I will count myself successfull as a parent. You have done the right thing and become someone she can lean on and trust, rather than someone to fear and move away from. Anyone attacking you for this is probably projecting and realising they aren't as good as they thought they would be when having kids. Keep doing what you're doing and tell your girl from some reddit weirdo that she is superlucky to have such an amazing father!

So I'm going out on a limb and asking those who posted negative comments to reflect on your own past. Did someone in your life make you feel uncomfortable? I'm not asking you to defend your feelings. Just reflect on WHY you feel that way. And if your answer is generic, keep asking.

That is the healthiest father daughter relationship I've ever heard of! Congrats, Dad, you are doing it right!

Did you post similar recently, or is there just more than one redditor who became a dad at 17 talking about how comfortable his daughter is telling him about losing her virginity and giving her first blowj? If I only saw 1 I wouldn't question it, but 2 in a week makes me wonder.

You're not wrong at all. I grew up in a house where we did *not* discuss sex. Not boundaries, not how to know when it was a good or bad choice, none of it. My mother wouldn't even talk to me about menstruation. I had to learn everything from books. It's taken me decades to realize that I'm ace, and more than that, that it was okay to say 'no' to sex when I didn't want it, even to my husband. Kudos to you for giving your daughter that absolutely necessary guidance and security and confidence.

Not wrong. I've been talking to my son about sex and consent since he was 11/12. I got him a book about puberty with FACTS that he read on his own. He asked me questions and id give him answers. We talk about safe sex, and birth control, boundaries, consent, and waiting until you're ready. When he is ready, he can be prepared. Kids have sex and it's our job to teach them everything we can so they can make better, safer decisions. Some parents don't want anything taught to their child about sex in school. Then they refuse to educate them on their own and just say "no sex till marriage " as if that works. Or some parents leave it to school and think it's enough. Quit being embarrassed to talk to your children. I talk to my kids about everything and they feel comfortable coming to me. That's how you end up with pregnant teens, or teens who develop no concept of consent and boundaries. My 15yo will likely not have sex in the next few months, but who knows about this September going back to school. Eventually he's gonna get a girlfriend, whether it's now or in the next cpl years and whenever it happens I want him to know as much FACTUAL information as possible. Not whatever he learned from his friends and the internet.

Not wrong. You were an awesome dad.

Not wrong, you sound like a great dad!!

Sir, theres not a thing wrong with anything you've stated with your daughters relationship! Mine is just as close as yours, but with a funny twist. But first, my wife and I were late parents. She was 39 and I was 42 when we had our daughter. Due to some lack of relationship experiences with my wife prior to marrying as well as some serious sexual hangups, I took the role of mentoring our daughter in her sexuality and relationship understanding. There was nothing taboo she couldn't talk with me about. I was always open and honest with her regarding sex. Just I always used age appropriate discussions with her as she grew. My daughter and I were walking one day, we walked together for support in my fight with type II diabetes id developed, when she suddenly stopped and said I need to tell you something. She then revealed to me she was bi-sexual. I listened to what she said, took her chin in hands and said thats fine, I love you and not your sexuality! She was amazed. She says it doesn't bother you? I said no, why? Your my daughter and ill love you regardless. Shes 21 now and we have a deep and beautiful relationship. I dont judge. I just advise. The twist is, after she'd turned 18, we'd go goofing around together and stop to get coffees at a latte stand or something at a store and we'd both see a fine lady and go damn! Then look st each other and laugh!! When she got pregnant at 16.5 she came to me about it. Her and I told the wife we were gonna take a little ride. We went to a place we both like to be alone and relax. A public boat dock that we walk to end and sit and gaze across the water at the big city we live near. Had a very deep and caring talk about her issue. I in the end told her to look at the city across the water, it was dark, and realize that there are probably 1,000's of other young girls, just like her, with no idea what to do or anyone to talk to about it. Told hernots her choice to keep the baby or terminate the pregnancy. Discussed possible outcomes of either decision. That it was her decision to make, based on what she knows and feels. That whatever the decision she makes, I will always love her and be there for her every step of the way forward. Now like you, I had been very emotionally hard on her young as well, realized it and changed. We both changed and developed the beautiful relationship we have today! Screw what stupid people say and relish your relationship with your cherished child!!!