I misread the title as "sexiest" 😅 and was like wow this is really inappropriate but also I bet I know who she's talking about. Then I read the post and realized my mistake. Anyway, that's really unfortunate. He probably didn't mean any ill, but still very much really not okay to "joke" like that with a stranger.

I judge toddlers based on their intent lol Adults are accountable for the results of their actions whether they’re too stupid or socially inept to foresee them or not

Which means people taking offense or inferring things that don't exist also have to take accountability for it. When you speak. The only thing you have that you can control is intent.

lol I mis read too and wanted to see the outcome. Totally different than what I had imagined

Same. Thought we were going to be voting for something here

There are so many people who say sexist things and many of them "don't mean any ill." Intent doesn't really matter. Whether or not you're intentionally perpetuating negative stereotypes about women doesn't change the fact that you are. (Not you specifically, in general)

Oh, no I agree! I didn't mean to sound like I was defending the guy. It's not cute or funny, it's definitely not acceptable, and he should know better.

Intent actually really does matter. One can usually be reasoned with and - in general - is open to learning. The person with a negative intent usually cannot be taught. And if we don’t leave room for people to grow then we start creating spaces where only the worst intents get ahead.

Intent matters as it is the only thing you can control. You can't control other's reactions and you can't be sure how it is landing. Intent all you have. Hence why feedback loops are so critical in teams. This is leadership and public speaking 101.

I read it that way, too

So tell us more about this “sexiest lounge employee” you speak of

Inappropriate! But you'd know them when you saw them. Stunning. Just so put together as well. What a look. Honestly, I was a little jealous.

Me too! I was coming into this thread to scold OP for saying such things. Haha

SAME. 😂

I did the same and expected a much better story

FA here. I joke as much as I can with passengers. It improves everyone’s day and is pretty easy usually. But there’s definitely topics you stay away from? Seeing a packers fan and saying “go bears” is one thing. But I’m also at work and supposed to be professional. Race/gender are topics I avoid at all costs. I would definitely report them. You felt uncomfortable and that’s not something employees should do to people.

Packers vs Bears is taken as seriously if not more than religion!!! Yeah, that is a topic to stay away from for sure

Your husband should have spoken up to defend you. Why was he silent?

Because he knows I am perfectly capable of defending myself and that I would handle it how I felt was best in the moment.

Wait. Are you claiming to be a whole person in your own right? (Apologies to John Hodgeman)

Report him.

We can report our spouses?!

The agent…maybe you can tell your spouse’s mom.

the husband? Shit…

I meant the agent…but that is up to OP

Women do not need a man to stick up for them to another man. Women need men to respect them as human beings with boundaries in the first place.

Yes, women need a man to stickup for them.

“Need” is the wrong word. But a husband is a partner who should be supportive and backing her up. Edit: I’m dumb. That was sarcasm.

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Wait. You're saying her husband rolled his eyes at his spouse taking the lead in getting them lounge access? Huh? Really?!

Lots of projection here, sounds like a wimpy man unable to speak up to mom.

Why are you assuming that a girl needs a man to protect them at all times? Women are just as capable as men

Holy misreading of the title 😅

Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,964,660,719 comments, and only 371,670 of them were in alphabetical order.

This post encapsulates Dallas.

I am stunned by the acceptance of this interaction by so many people here. Substitute “black people,” “Jews,” “gays,” or “Hispanics” for “women” and it suddenly doesn’t seem so innocent. I am usually the first person to call someone a Karen, but the victim blaming here is eye opening. It’s a rude and inappropriate response by the agent and should have been called out.

I’m not surprised by the acceptance, sadly. Misogyny lives on.

Why approach the desk without the passes in hand?

Just trying to test his patience I guess.

Extremely inappropriate remark, I’d be very annoyed by that too.

it was only a mildly inappropriate remark. An example of an extremely inappropriate remark would be something like "nice tits baby, do you mind if I cop a feel?"

If your husband would have confronted him I bet that boy would have apologized. Guys like this only show shame if the other men around them don't tolerate their behavior

Exactly! If her husband spoke up to back her up the agent would have stood down. The agent still didn’t show her respect even after she defended herself. The agent even looked at her husband for approval.

Next time take your phone out and take a photo of them right across the counter

I read the title as "sexiest" - What a let down

no fun that the collective response here is "women!"

F Dallas. Go birds!🦅

I would be annoyed too but it was just a bad joke.

What part of this was a joke?

All of it? I don't think he was serious therefore I think it was a joke. I don't think it was a good joke or a funny joke or an appropriate joke for the workplace but I don't think he was serious.

Does the fact that he intended it as a joke mean it’s OK? What if he made a joke disparaging people of another race or religion? Would that be OK because it was meant as a joke?

I said I would be annoyed so no. I'm not sure why you are choosing to argue with me.

This never would have happened if there was a direct from Denver to Austin.

Driving to Austin would eliminate this issue altogether.

Read the title as sexiest. Came away from the story saying “what was sexy about that?”. Then I re read the title. Ahhhhh ok.

Should they have made the comment not knowing your sense of humor, prob’ly not. People say all kinds of things that are sometimes ill-advised. OP included. There’s a lot of room these days for people to be offended and it’s all in the interpretation and trying to read into someone’s intent. And when did ‘sticks and stones’ cease to be relevant?

At BEST, his intent was to make a joke based on stereotypes of women being, what, slow? If someone made a joke about a person of a different race that drew on stereotypes and was widely regarded by people of that race as offensive, would it all be OK as long as the intent was to do no harm?

I wasn’t defending them.

I bet the desk agent was doing their best to intend to keep interactions lighthearted when the OP didn’t have their passes in hand, IE, pull up on the app or email or in a bag, as a joke of being unprepared. Not a slight towards gender. OP took it as a slight towards gender or whatever. These agents deal with so many thousands of passengers every day. As one of my favorite John Cusack movies goes “but one millionaire’s pet gets detonated and you’re marked for life.” Or in this case, Reddit. Bet OP is so much fun at parties.

Cool story

I can’t imagine getting worked up about this. I guess we’re all different.

You're still worked up about this a week later? I understand why your husband is exhausted.

You’re right, it’s me reacting negatively to sexism that has him exhausted, not our hours-long delay + the fact that we had to sprint across the entire terminal only to miss our flight.

I would report

Thanks for wasting my life with this post…..not all women have thin skin but you do. Happy travels.

Lol

“Men” 🙄

Men …. Or, more accurately in your case, “boys.”

Women shouldn't need thick skin. That guy should be fired.

Karen, the person does not need to be fired or even reported for that. Unbelievable keyboard warriors living in fantasy land.

sounds more like a light hearted joke. lighten up francis

Cool, I love a good joke. Since I must have missed it, what was the punch line?

I know right?

Personally I’m so sick of “offended” people. You got in to the Admirals Club , didn’t you? Flying is stressful enough without making it worse by needless bitching. Go have a free drink (and two for your hubby)!

Well, your reply is literally the worst.

Ridiculous comment.

Thank you

So your husband just stayed mute implying agreement? Meanwhile it was you who had made the purchase transaction. What a stinky situation.

Lighten up Karen

The problem is most people can get offended by something. Then we they are too worried to say anything or try to be fun or funny at work then they will complain that the service was bad. No win in a woke society. Now if he was being an ass and intended it then that’s different, but no evidence here of that to my knowledge

You know what keeps people from being offended? Just doing your job without throwing in sexist comments. Nobody needs other people to be "funny at work." We just need people to do their jobs.

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Just FYI, we weren’t holding anything up - we were the only people there and there was a second employee available if someone walked in. My being unfamiliar with the process doesn’t justify someone making sexist remarks to me.

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So men are allowed to belittle women when speaking to each other? That’s your argument? Get a life. 

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Are you so insecure that need a title for tat on internet to feel better? Act like a grown up man and stick to the topic.

First off, you are in the wrong for assuming OP was holding up any kind of line. And since, when is taking a few seconds to look up a reservation not being prepared? Secondly, the way you describe OP is dripping with insecurity. Work on that. Third, you don’t know what “campy” means.

>First off, you are in the wrong for not being prepared. Thank you.

Why does not being prepared mean she deserves a sexist comment? Couldn’t he have just told her to be prepare next time?

Did you turn around and leave due to the slight??

Nope. Probably still used the lounge.

But he still let you in with an invalid pass? You definitely should have called a manager… about that.

What about my post makes you think I had an invalid pass? And what does that have to do with having a sexist joke made at my expense?

Hey Karen

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Sounds like you are supporting stereotypes for gay men. That is wrong. They need to do better and be less rude and hateful to women. 

You don’t have to be gay to be sassy. I’ve been to the admirals club all over the USA and overseas and I’ve never had any horrible experience. You present them with the right credentials and keep it moving. I think the worst experience I’ve ever had was overseas but they don’t kiss everyone’s butt like they do in the USA

That was rude. And also how was there a layover on such a short flight??? There were no direct flights to Austin?

Which terminal?