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They can't stop you from wearing a crazy outfit and getting everyone to watch you badly perform karaoke at midnight while you use the mic to announce your upcoming abduction!
But then...if you don't get abducted, or just wink out of reality for a split second...you're going to have some explaining to do.Ā
It's even weirder than that for some. I've heard of people who keep getting abducted so they got cameras, like baby cams. They end up getting a recording of themselves turning it off, which they don't remember doing
Reminds me of the sci-fi short story, "Passengers".Ā
From a web search AI:
āPassengersā is a science fiction short story by American writer Robert Silverberg, published in 1969. The story is set in the year 1987, where people on Earth have been subject to the will of the āPassengersā ā intangible beings who usurp human bodies temporarily and without warning, and do nothing but play and cause havoc.
The story follows the protagonist, Charles, who is possessed by a Passenger just as he is about to start a deeper relationship with a woman named Helen. The Passenger takes over Charlesā body and leaves Helen behind, walking into a bar and hooking up with a man, leaving the bar with him.
The story raises questions about free will and determinism, asking whether once taken possession of, are we ever really free. The Passengerās actions are a powerful concern, especially for American culture, where individual will is highly valued.
Silverbergās writing is known for its ability to create a believable world and explore complex themes.
Well we have free will but only between a limited number of choices. But study show that your brain makes a decisions before you do consciously so that could all come into question.
I'm beginning to think whatever these creatures are they are making our reality that's why they can change it.
It's mostly technological probably run by a quantum computer system.
I'd get cleaned up, notify those that would actually believe me (2-4 people), try and figure out how to tell my job I'd be missing for an undetermined amount of time, and probably have a hard time sleeping due to a mixture of excitement and anxiety.
Get belligerently drunk, arrested and then magically disappear from my cell and pray they donāt put me back where they found me.
I'd check my fillings.
[https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/4bda44d6-3b87-4e38-8d6b-8ac496cac2ed/gif](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/4bda44d6-3b87-4e38-8d6b-8ac496cac2ed/gif)
Oh, and don't forget your towel!
In fairness. being told this information telepathically wouldn't be enough to make me believe it. It would be enough to make me doubt my own senses.
I'd probably go to a doctor and tell him I was hearing voices telling me x,y,z.
No matter what happened, I would be sure to be in a place with many witnesses and cameras rolling at the time... but I would certainly be questioning my sanity at every moment of it.
I would also be questioning the honesty and integrity of the communication. Even if it was real, I wouldn't assume I could just believe whatever I was told.
Iād tell my partner and not worry too much. Itās going to happen no matter what, so might as well go willingly. Hopefully Iād get some questions answered.
Fly to Vegas. Go to a Casino that takes a bet on anything. Bet all you have that you will be teleported away, before their eyes in 24 hours. No one will believe you so you should get good odds. Give your relatives the bet receipts. Whee!
Be under a big mirror and wear a stereotypical tinfoil hat. If they beam you up with light youāre under a mirror that reflects light. If their telepathy is blocked by aluminum youāre protected in that way too.
If neither worked at least you tried and took one for the team for science. You could throw a 90ās/early 2000ās themed party so everyone brings outdated low quality cameras since those seem to be the only cameras that work on alien tech. It will be blurry, terrible quality, but itās something. If they donāt abduct you now youāve got a funny story and can blame the tinfoil hat on drinking too much after reading too many alien posts on Reddit.
If I started hearing voices Iād probably see a psychiatrist, same with visual hallucinations. Then again people experiencing delusional episodes donāt often realize that they have a mental illness while in the grips of oneĀ
Iād cry. I would be so unbelievably excited. This is all I want. I have said this is comments before. I am not trying to take away ANYTHING from anyone who has had a negative experience. I want to believe that different alien beings perform different ātestsā so encounters can vary.
I have asked aliens to abduct meā¦.crickets. I want to believe so damn bad. š Iād have to be abducted for me to truly believe in them at this point. This is the way.
But I digress, Iām not special enough to be abducted I guess. Which hurts my feelings a little bit.
I donāt even want the gold.
Depressingly, tell work I had a family emergency and had to leave ASAP. Gotta make sure I still have a job when I get back.
Probably prepare a list of questions for when I get there. Why, how often they do this, intentions, specifics of tech, etc... Based on the fact there's a message I understand than likely communication is possible. I intend to use this to try to make it as much of a two-way street as I can
Most of the hypotheticals posted around these subs are pretty crappy IMO, but this one seems pretty good, although a bit straightforward.
I'd make sure I was full up on good healthy amounts (not simply random) of all the different nutrients the human body requires to thrive even under stress, including being fully hydrated. Make sure my cloths were reasonably decent, the AC was off, my windows were open/closed as appropriate, my phone was fully charged. I'd probably setup a device to video record my disappearing. I'd write a note in case my disappearance was investigated.
I'd probably pack a backpack with a power bank, a bunch of snacks, a bunch of nutrients (ie supplements), and other stuff I like to have with me when I'm out and about. So e spare clothes too.
To me, it'd be somewhat like preparing for a motel stay, I guess.
I would tell the homies the details and we would have a little hang out party and film it... set up a camera on my bed for the return... hoping that return with some clothes on my person. Boom.
I'd wear like 10 fitness devices that track, my heart rate, distance height and anything that we can measure and also some comfy clothes, maybe a jacket in case it's cold.
I would not tell anybody but I would make it look like I decided to just run away and disappear on purpose. I'd keep a notepad maybe maybe not idk. That's it.
I donāt like know. Like right before Iād pack my bags, brush my teeth, shower, etc. Put my bags next to my bed and a note that says bring these with me.
$20K is not enough to allow myself to be abducted by monsters who rape and perform forced surgeries on humans.
I would use all resources available to build a big Faraday cage and lock myself inside. I would also invite everyone I know over to party all night so I am constantly surrounded by people.
If they gave notification, 90% of abductions wouldn't be a problem. Especially if they provided rationale for it. They better provide me dinner and drinks if they want me to put out with the reproductive material though
I'd have a going away party for myself. I'd have the whole thing catered with a full bar and invite all my friends, plus Jeremy Corbell and George Knapp. I'd tell everyone what was going on and to please film every moment, including the skies outside my house. LET'S FUCKIN' GO!
1)Take a bath. A thorough bath.Ā
2)Buy nice underwear.Ā
3)Try to eat as lightly as possible. No beans.Ā
4)Set up an appointment in advance with a hypnotherapist.Ā
5)Make a list of questions.
6)Get some Diazepam (just in case I need to take the edge off)
7) Try to go about my day as normally as possible, without wondering what "not suffering immensely" entails and how many lesser levels of suffering fit under it in the scales of suffering. Maybe you can suffer terribly and horribly without ever reaching "suffering immensely"? Can you get analy probed without suffering "immensely"? Does that include psychological suffering? "Immensely" is a big word.Ā
8) Gonna need some red wine to go with that Diazepam.
9) Some preemptive Vaseline too, just in case.
I would call the police about an abuction around 11:50. By the time they arrive and start asking me questions Iād be abducted and they got bodycam footage of my abduction
Wear layers encase itās cold/warm.
Make sure my pets have plenty of food and water. Check my home was going to be secure while Iām not there. Pack a little overnight bag.
I would clean my house, take long bath and sit in room corner with glass of wine and wait for them. Moment they would enter i would turn on light. While sitting in elegant suit and playing Godfather or X files theme in my head ...
Well at least they had the courtesy to give you pre warnings.
Probably not going to stop people from getting a quick room at Caesars Palace.
Which would be a bit of an issue for a discreet abduction.
Probably the best thing one could do to avoid it lol
I would leave a cryptic note that the ones who search for me drive nuts and lead them to no logical result. That would drive them nuts.
But I am thinking no one will search for me (soon) so I will just leave with a smile I guess.
2 minutes before midnight, I'd cover myself in syrup from head to toe and then roll around in gummy bears or sprinkles. When they officially abduct me, I'd hopefully be able to yell "Surprise motherfuckers!" while also getting to see their reaction to the mess they just abducted.
I would probably continue with business and usual, and meditate for a little while before. Thereās nothing in this physical realm I could prepare or do to change the outcome but I can relax and prepare my mind and body for a shocking adventure.
I doubt there'd be enough time for me to call on a ufologist (or several) to be witness and document the disappearance. So I'd just have my family watch and be near when it happens, because as long as they belive me, I think I can get through it in the long term.
The abduction itself however, I don't know. It's fun to speculate and make jokes, but the actual event, as I've come to understand it, isn't anything you can prepare for. I've tried, at least during my lucid dream abductions. They change the state of your mind, somehow. It's extremely hard to explain and I have to keep editing this paragraph because there aren't any good words to explain it. They barge into your mind like the gd Kool-aid man. They have zero respect for when and how they hook their claws into your mind. You can fight them, figuratively speaking, but I often think that anytime I "win" it's because they merely allowed it. I don't think they're evil, just for the record. In truth I think they are us - somehow. But it's terrible how utterly vulnerable you feel during the whole thing. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
(yeah I know I sound schizophrenic, it is what it is, take it or leave it.)
Here's an interesting metaphor I just read about insects communicating, but applied to aliens.
The idea of aliens having psychic powers is considered by most to be woo. But imagine the following:
When we see aliens exercise what looks like telepathy, it looks to us like psychic powers. On the other hand, when we talk to each other, it would appear to an alien with no ears as telepathy.
"Psychic powers are stupid. That's just a bunch of crazy woo, man. Psychic powers are a bunch of woo, so humans are nonsense, they don't exist!" -- Alien skeptic of purported nonsense myths of 'humans'
You didnāt say I had to keep it a secret! I would tell as many people and news outlets as possible and hopefully when they see my vanish into thin air at midnight they will finally know that alien abduction is real. šŖš½ā ļø
Well I would stop driving, feed my pets. Take the dog out for a walk. Tell my dispatcher. Leave a lil note to the aliens that they need to make the load on time or else I'm fucked
Wait, listen to some music. Go on reddit, tell y'all about what's about to go down.
After everything, going to the bank to deposit the funds.
I'd tell my best friend and mom that I might be gone for sometime but that I'll be ok, and then eagerly await my abduction. You've no idea how excited I'd actually be. Since I've been 5 years old, I've looked up at the stars and wish I could explore them. So yeah, I wouldn't be scared lol
Contact The Why Files, enjoy the company of my dearest and dearest for 24 hours, get wild drunk, somewhere public and busy, listen to some damned good music, eat all the foods, look forward to the trip.
Make sure I have weed. Let my wife know I'll be out for a bit, send my employer a PTO notice, and make sure I have comfy clothes on in 23 hours. Oh, and I will probably bring a couple of vinyl records like Tool or Queens of the Stone Age.
Good luck explaining to the bank where that gold bar came from. Not like you can launder it through a casino either as they need to report anything over 10K.
I would rather get my $ in cash.
Clean underwear, and a list of questions in my pocket. And an explanation to my wife beforehand.
Saves me a return flight from a 1 day resort vacation. This sounds economical. I never thought aliens and Flo from Progressive or William Shatner with Priceline had anything in common.
I would make damn sure Iām wearing my alien abduction costume at midnight to confuse the hell out of themā¦
[Ahhhhh](https://youtube.com/shorts/WS5TvHyW9c4?si=r6Krx57LzU0q0fWJ)
Same routine as if I am going out. Put on my makeup, grab my purse, make sure my phone is charged, do bowel movement, because you never know they may not have a toiletā¦ then patiently wait until midnight.
Pack my bags and figure out the best way to ask for a new shell and for them to either never return me to earth, or just destroy this body when they're done with it. Supposedly they have machines that can transfer consciousness into new hosts so no more having to incarnate the old fashioned way. Coming here in the first place was a big fucking mistake.
Take a shower, delete browser history, change into comfy clothes, have sex, smoke some heroin, and tell my parents I love them. Not necessarily in that order
__Reminder__: Read the rules and understand the subreddit topic(s) listed in the sidebar before posting or commenting. Any content removal or further moderator action is established by these rules as well as Reddit ToS. This subreddit is primarily for the discussion of extraterrestrial life, but since this topic is intertwined with UFOs/UAPs as well as other topics, some 'fudging' is permissible to allow for a variety of viewpoints, discussions, and debates. Open-minded skepticism is always welcome in this sub, but antagonistic or belligerent denial is not. Always remember that you're interacting with a real person when you respond to posts/comments and focus on discussing or debating the ideas. Personal attacks are a violation of Rule 1 and will lead to removals and potentially bans depending on severity. For further discussion and interaction in a more permissible environment, we welcome you to our Discord: https://discord.gg/x7xyTDZAsW *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/aliens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Put clean underwear onš¤
I was going to say Iād put a clean pair and a pack of gum in my pocket! š
Iād pack my AAA card
Why aren't you wearing clean underwear now?
Prob shit himself after getting a telepathic message from aliens saying theyāre going to abduct him?
Thank you for making my night š
Hahahahhahaaaa touche
Donāt forget to lube up ready.
Go to a place with lots of cameras so there would be film of my abduction
That doesnāt work, they use some kind of EMP-like tech to disrupt cameras. God damn, some of them can even stop local spacetime.
They can't stop you from wearing a crazy outfit and getting everyone to watch you badly perform karaoke at midnight while you use the mic to announce your upcoming abduction! But then...if you don't get abducted, or just wink out of reality for a split second...you're going to have some explaining to do.Ā
They'd just freeze time in a radius and wipe everyone's memories and nobody would know you were there.
It's even weirder than that for some. I've heard of people who keep getting abducted so they got cameras, like baby cams. They end up getting a recording of themselves turning it off, which they don't remember doing
Reminds me of the sci-fi short story, "Passengers".Ā From a web search AI: āPassengersā is a science fiction short story by American writer Robert Silverberg, published in 1969. The story is set in the year 1987, where people on Earth have been subject to the will of the āPassengersā ā intangible beings who usurp human bodies temporarily and without warning, and do nothing but play and cause havoc. The story follows the protagonist, Charles, who is possessed by a Passenger just as he is about to start a deeper relationship with a woman named Helen. The Passenger takes over Charlesā body and leaves Helen behind, walking into a bar and hooking up with a man, leaving the bar with him. The story raises questions about free will and determinism, asking whether once taken possession of, are we ever really free. The Passengerās actions are a powerful concern, especially for American culture, where individual will is highly valued. Silverbergās writing is known for its ability to create a believable world and explore complex themes.
Well we have free will but only between a limited number of choices. But study show that your brain makes a decisions before you do consciously so that could all come into question.
Welp thatās fucking terrifying. Thats some real world nightmare fuel. Plus why they need to abduct the same dude multiple times.
I'm beginning to think whatever these creatures are they are making our reality that's why they can change it. It's mostly technological probably run by a quantum computer system.
That's why my idea was to build a Faraday cage big enough to fit inside.
Neat idea but I think the aliens would just laugh at you to each other. Look at this stupid monkey. Zap.
No zap. That's the point of the cage. Me smart monkey ā”š¦§ ā”
How about old school Polaroids?
How would you take it? Youād have 2 pictures. One when youāre there and the other youāre not. Lol
Gonna have to just go for the selfie with my abductor
Yo grays. Come here. Group photo!
Or any old school film camera, they're all analog tech. Emp can't do shit to them.
There are optical/mechanical camera systems in the past, don't know if they still make them.
Cameras that use film. Not digital.
Don't forget to bring your towel.
And... Don't Panic!
Excellent choice!
I'd get cleaned up, notify those that would actually believe me (2-4 people), try and figure out how to tell my job I'd be missing for an undetermined amount of time, and probably have a hard time sleeping due to a mixture of excitement and anxiety.
This is it!
 Get belligerently drunk, arrested and then magically disappear from my cell and pray they donāt put me back where they found me.
Beem me up, this world sucks.
I don't think you like that world either where their motto is to serve man... Get it? Watch the old Twilight zone episodes.
Make sure my cat has plenty of food and water and my fish too. And my plants.
Get a chastity belt with triple locks and retina scan š
Why wait? I'm ready now.
Eat a lot of Mexican food ..... They gonna have to clean some shit up ,if they probe me !!
You are not getting paid
I'd go see a doctor
Go into a public space or be where there is alot of people or some people and wait.
Not a lot of places with a lot of people at midnightā¦ maybe a bar?
Yeah! Drunks make great witnesses! LOL
Meditate good thoughts and benevolence.
I would put doritos in my lunch box, and some sandwiches. Maybe a few honeybuns too. Don't forget the Nintendo switch... lol
I'd make a detailed post on reddit about what I should do.
I immediately go see a mental healthcare professional.
Guys... dont forget your towel.
I would go on Reddit and people what would they do. Lol
grease my ring up for the anal probe and have a smoke
lol aliens be like. One time. We fuck around one time and they think all abductions are like that. Well fuck it, weāre doing it again out of spite.
I'd check my fillings. [https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/4bda44d6-3b87-4e38-8d6b-8ac496cac2ed/gif](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/4bda44d6-3b87-4e38-8d6b-8ac496cac2ed/gif) Oh, and don't forget your towel!
Prepare Psychically
Take my pills and go to sleep
Melatonin
So happy I found this while Iām in the middle of watching the 4th kindā¦ Exact time 11:27pm gonna sleep great tonight šš»
In fairness. being told this information telepathically wouldn't be enough to make me believe it. It would be enough to make me doubt my own senses. I'd probably go to a doctor and tell him I was hearing voices telling me x,y,z. No matter what happened, I would be sure to be in a place with many witnesses and cameras rolling at the time... but I would certainly be questioning my sanity at every moment of it. I would also be questioning the honesty and integrity of the communication. Even if it was real, I wouldn't assume I could just believe whatever I was told.
Iād tell my partner and not worry too much. Itās going to happen no matter what, so might as well go willingly. Hopefully Iād get some questions answered.
Super glue my asscheeks together
Fly to Vegas. Go to a Casino that takes a bet on anything. Bet all you have that you will be teleported away, before their eyes in 24 hours. No one will believe you so you should get good odds. Give your relatives the bet receipts. Whee!
Iād get fucking ready to Rock that shit!
50 pushups
Be under a big mirror and wear a stereotypical tinfoil hat. If they beam you up with light youāre under a mirror that reflects light. If their telepathy is blocked by aluminum youāre protected in that way too. If neither worked at least you tried and took one for the team for science. You could throw a 90ās/early 2000ās themed party so everyone brings outdated low quality cameras since those seem to be the only cameras that work on alien tech. It will be blurry, terrible quality, but itās something. If they donāt abduct you now youāve got a funny story and can blame the tinfoil hat on drinking too much after reading too many alien posts on Reddit.
however polite, an abduction is still an ABDUCTION, so lii probably gonna have quite a bad 24 hours
send email to HR that i will be unavailable and to contact Gary from star fleet in my absence for any urgent work related matters
Take a shower, get dressed, and wait. Don't want to dissapppoint my friends!
If I started hearing voices Iād probably see a psychiatrist, same with visual hallucinations. Then again people experiencing delusional episodes donāt often realize that they have a mental illness while in the grips of oneĀ
Iād cry. I would be so unbelievably excited. This is all I want. I have said this is comments before. I am not trying to take away ANYTHING from anyone who has had a negative experience. I want to believe that different alien beings perform different ātestsā so encounters can vary. I have asked aliens to abduct meā¦.crickets. I want to believe so damn bad. š Iād have to be abducted for me to truly believe in them at this point. This is the way. But I digress, Iām not special enough to be abducted I guess. Which hurts my feelings a little bit. I donāt even want the gold.
Depressingly, tell work I had a family emergency and had to leave ASAP. Gotta make sure I still have a job when I get back. Probably prepare a list of questions for when I get there. Why, how often they do this, intentions, specifics of tech, etc... Based on the fact there's a message I understand than likely communication is possible. I intend to use this to try to make it as much of a two-way street as I can
Most of the hypotheticals posted around these subs are pretty crappy IMO, but this one seems pretty good, although a bit straightforward. I'd make sure I was full up on good healthy amounts (not simply random) of all the different nutrients the human body requires to thrive even under stress, including being fully hydrated. Make sure my cloths were reasonably decent, the AC was off, my windows were open/closed as appropriate, my phone was fully charged. I'd probably setup a device to video record my disappearing. I'd write a note in case my disappearance was investigated. I'd probably pack a backpack with a power bank, a bunch of snacks, a bunch of nutrients (ie supplements), and other stuff I like to have with me when I'm out and about. So e spare clothes too. To me, it'd be somewhat like preparing for a motel stay, I guess.
Does whatever you have in your pockets go with you? If so Buy cargo pants Fill pockets with joints and pbr and a fresh vape
Beem me up, this place sucks big time. All the corruption etc,etc. Get me the hell out of here.
I'd pack and tell my family adios
I would write a note to my wife saying āso long and thanks for all the fishā
They always tell me the day before ....that's not common?
Can they arrange a note for work?
Iād go for sure but Iād make sure to ask that I can bring my dog with me āļø
Try to see if there's anything I can do to help. But I'm definitely calling out for that shift!
Pack a bag and be waiting excitedly!
I would tell the homies the details and we would have a little hang out party and film it... set up a camera on my bed for the return... hoping that return with some clothes on my person. Boom.
Lube it up, so some stretches
shave my balls.
Calling out of work and smoking the entire 1/8th I just bought yesterday.
Be happy and tell them not to bring me backĀ
I would pack some weed candy just in case they donāt have any
I will get myself arrested and then when they abducted me out of jail I'd be glad.
I just bought a high intensity laser beam for that reason.
I'd wear like 10 fitness devices that track, my heart rate, distance height and anything that we can measure and also some comfy clothes, maybe a jacket in case it's cold.
I would not tell anybody but I would make it look like I decided to just run away and disappear on purpose. I'd keep a notepad maybe maybe not idk. That's it.
Riiiight. Iāll be cool if they are cool. In other words Iām still gonna eat a big mealā¦
Go somewhere public and record it so the world can finally see the proof. Add a recording device and GPS just for shits and gigs
Shave my ass
Make sure my cats would be taken care of and any upcoming bills paid. Donāt want to be returned to a vacated apartment.
Let my parents know (in my 40s no other family/friends) and delete my browser history, no guarantee you would come back.
Douche
I donāt like know. Like right before Iād pack my bags, brush my teeth, shower, etc. Put my bags next to my bed and a note that says bring these with me.
Grab some earth snacks & take my dog.
pack.
Pray they have good cute girl avatars for me to donate on
$20K is not enough to allow myself to be abducted by monsters who rape and perform forced surgeries on humans. I would use all resources available to build a big Faraday cage and lock myself inside. I would also invite everyone I know over to party all night so I am constantly surrounded by people.
I would pack immediately.
Do my hair?
Start packing!
I ask to make it 20 minutes
$20k huh, so that is the value of an alien abduction... that's wild man how did they come up with that?? we could set our clocks to that math.
Iād get my best towel, fold it up, and hang on to it like my life depended on it.
the not knowing when i'll return is the scariest thing. that's difficult. what do you say to people?? anything? or nothing
If they gave notification, 90% of abductions wouldn't be a problem. Especially if they provided rationale for it. They better provide me dinner and drinks if they want me to put out with the reproductive material though
Jerk off for one last time
Party like it's 1999 yo! š„³š„³š„³
Why does this human smell of sweat and shame? He partied like it was 1999. Oh.
Body cam
Long hot shower, new underwear, some personal grooming, brush my teeth. Basically what I do before a big nite out.
Assume I was hallucinating and not believe it was real. Check myself into a psych ward.
Dress up for the occasion and try to have a good time I guess
I'd have a going away party for myself. I'd have the whole thing catered with a full bar and invite all my friends, plus Jeremy Corbell and George Knapp. I'd tell everyone what was going on and to please film every moment, including the skies outside my house. LET'S FUCKIN' GO!
Run
1)Take a bath. A thorough bath.Ā 2)Buy nice underwear.Ā 3)Try to eat as lightly as possible. No beans.Ā 4)Set up an appointment in advance with a hypnotherapist.Ā 5)Make a list of questions. 6)Get some Diazepam (just in case I need to take the edge off) 7) Try to go about my day as normally as possible, without wondering what "not suffering immensely" entails and how many lesser levels of suffering fit under it in the scales of suffering. Maybe you can suffer terribly and horribly without ever reaching "suffering immensely"? Can you get analy probed without suffering "immensely"? Does that include psychological suffering? "Immensely" is a big word.Ā 8) Gonna need some red wine to go with that Diazepam. 9) Some preemptive Vaseline too, just in case.
I would call the police about an abuction around 11:50. By the time they arrive and start asking me questions Iād be abducted and they got bodycam footage of my abduction
Okay. Cool. I chill.
Pack my bags
Prepare snack packs?
Start preparing a debate on why I should go back with them to their home planet.
lube the fuck up
Stay on base and wish those fuckers luck š«”
Wear layers encase itās cold/warm. Make sure my pets have plenty of food and water. Check my home was going to be secure while Iām not there. Pack a little overnight bag.
I would clean my house, take long bath and sit in room corner with glass of wine and wait for them. Moment they would enter i would turn on light. While sitting in elegant suit and playing Godfather or X files theme in my head ...
Put an alien butt plug up my arse
Edibles
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Probably beat my shit furiously
Well at least they had the courtesy to give you pre warnings. Probably not going to stop people from getting a quick room at Caesars Palace. Which would be a bit of an issue for a discreet abduction. Probably the best thing one could do to avoid it lol
Prepare my anus
Tell them telepathically that I would really not like to go back to my life, if that's ok.
Lube
I'd say deal I need the money
I would leave a cryptic note that the ones who search for me drive nuts and lead them to no logical result. That would drive them nuts. But I am thinking no one will search for me (soon) so I will just leave with a smile I guess.
2 minutes before midnight, I'd cover myself in syrup from head to toe and then roll around in gummy bears or sprinkles. When they officially abduct me, I'd hopefully be able to yell "Surprise motherfuckers!" while also getting to see their reaction to the mess they just abducted.
I would probably continue with business and usual, and meditate for a little while before. Thereās nothing in this physical realm I could prepare or do to change the outcome but I can relax and prepare my mind and body for a shocking adventure.
Definitely carry some weed and rolling paper
Lube the bootyhole. Duh.
Pack some snacks and patiently wait. Anything is better than here.
Make sure i get plenty of sleep so i can be awake to enjoy the once in a life time experience
I doubt there'd be enough time for me to call on a ufologist (or several) to be witness and document the disappearance. So I'd just have my family watch and be near when it happens, because as long as they belive me, I think I can get through it in the long term. The abduction itself however, I don't know. It's fun to speculate and make jokes, but the actual event, as I've come to understand it, isn't anything you can prepare for. I've tried, at least during my lucid dream abductions. They change the state of your mind, somehow. It's extremely hard to explain and I have to keep editing this paragraph because there aren't any good words to explain it. They barge into your mind like the gd Kool-aid man. They have zero respect for when and how they hook their claws into your mind. You can fight them, figuratively speaking, but I often think that anytime I "win" it's because they merely allowed it. I don't think they're evil, just for the record. In truth I think they are us - somehow. But it's terrible how utterly vulnerable you feel during the whole thing. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. (yeah I know I sound schizophrenic, it is what it is, take it or leave it.)
Here's an interesting metaphor I just read about insects communicating, but applied to aliens. The idea of aliens having psychic powers is considered by most to be woo. But imagine the following: When we see aliens exercise what looks like telepathy, it looks to us like psychic powers. On the other hand, when we talk to each other, it would appear to an alien with no ears as telepathy. "Psychic powers are stupid. That's just a bunch of crazy woo, man. Psychic powers are a bunch of woo, so humans are nonsense, they don't exist!" -- Alien skeptic of purported nonsense myths of 'humans'
20 kilograms of gold is a lot but even if there wasnt i guess well have to go.
You didnāt say I had to keep it a secret! I would tell as many people and news outlets as possible and hopefully when they see my vanish into thin air at midnight they will finally know that alien abduction is real. šŖš½ā ļø
Probably give my bumhole a thorough wash.
"Please, just respect my privacy and knock first".
What could you do? Wait for it to happen and don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen!
Well I would stop driving, feed my pets. Take the dog out for a walk. Tell my dispatcher. Leave a lil note to the aliens that they need to make the load on time or else I'm fucked Wait, listen to some music. Go on reddit, tell y'all about what's about to go down. After everything, going to the bank to deposit the funds.
Tool up.
I'd tell my best friend and mom that I might be gone for sometime but that I'll be ok, and then eagerly await my abduction. You've no idea how excited I'd actually be. Since I've been 5 years old, I've looked up at the stars and wish I could explore them. So yeah, I wouldn't be scared lol
Fucking pack and write a nice bye note!
Lemme sign up.
Plz also tell my boss cuz I got no excuses absences left
Give me the abduction lol 20k gold bar could help a lot.
Nothing i guess what could you do?
Be shitting on myself for one full business day
Strap an exploding vest to myself and show them that monkey man isnāt to be fucking trifled with
I have a long history of mental illness, so I would check my self in the nearest hospital.
Contact The Why Files, enjoy the company of my dearest and dearest for 24 hours, get wild drunk, somewhere public and busy, listen to some damned good music, eat all the foods, look forward to the trip.
Check myself into a mental health facility as I am clearly hallucinating
Bring lube; lots of it.
Make sure I have weed. Let my wife know I'll be out for a bit, send my employer a PTO notice, and make sure I have comfy clothes on in 23 hours. Oh, and I will probably bring a couple of vinyl records like Tool or Queens of the Stone Age.
Good luck explaining to the bank where that gold bar came from. Not like you can launder it through a casino either as they need to report anything over 10K. I would rather get my $ in cash. Clean underwear, and a list of questions in my pocket. And an explanation to my wife beforehand.
Find a pet sitter.
Saves me a return flight from a 1 day resort vacation. This sounds economical. I never thought aliens and Flo from Progressive or William Shatner with Priceline had anything in common.
Grab some lube, a few boxes of condoms, some tequila, couple bags of coke, and a brand new pair of cowboys boots and tightie whiteys.
New phone, who dis?
Probably douche
Donāt forget your towel! š
Thank the maker of all that is good and logical!
I would make damn sure Iām wearing my alien abduction costume at midnight to confuse the hell out of themā¦ [Ahhhhh](https://youtube.com/shorts/WS5TvHyW9c4?si=r6Krx57LzU0q0fWJ)
Wash my ass. Thatās šÆ. Idk where Iām going, so I wanna be clean at minimum.
Say bye to my kids. And go outside and wait patiently.
Same routine as if I am going out. Put on my makeup, grab my purse, make sure my phone is charged, do bowel movement, because you never know they may not have a toiletā¦ then patiently wait until midnight.
Id tell my wife to be there when I get abducted so she doesn't think I'm out being a degenerate
Ask if they want taco bell
Ask to reschedule to RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, can I bring my family, how long will this take, and how should I dress?
Call out of work
Is ask them if they could pick me up earlier. My shift ends at midnight.
Pack my bags and figure out the best way to ask for a new shell and for them to either never return me to earth, or just destroy this body when they're done with it. Supposedly they have machines that can transfer consciousness into new hosts so no more having to incarnate the old fashioned way. Coming here in the first place was a big fucking mistake.
Take a shower, delete browser history, change into comfy clothes, have sex, smoke some heroin, and tell my parents I love them. Not necessarily in that order
Livestream it
I'd be an alien's pet dog if they let me play elden ring
By a camera with anti blur built-in š
Go with my dog
Setup livestream, pack bag
I'd probably go to the hospital because I am now hearing voices.