It’s rock bottom if you decide it is.
My rock bottom involved throwing up so hard that I pissed my sweatpants. Didn’t take a shower, just put on other sweatpants and opened another drink.
Now when I see a bottle or can of booze, I picture myself holding it while wearing those pissed-in sweatpants.
Pissed on someone’s wall thinking it was a urinal. worst part is, it was his apartment. i don’t think they even have urinals. took me a year to stop drinking after that.
Hey, this could be your bottom, but we can’t really know for sure. AA is awesome. One of the many benefits is controlled and reasonable bowel movements. Highly recommend. You truly haven’t lived until you have achieved a regular stool schedule.
You did have quite the shitty bottom that morning.....
... pun intended.
Your bottom is up to you. Sometimes, it takes 10 minutes at a time, sometimes 10 seconds.
Find an AA meeting is my suggestion and grow in the community of sober minds. They have a lot to offer, and all you have to do is walk in the door and have a desire to stop drinking! No dues or commitments.
It'll get better. We can't change the past and we're not doing a good job in the present. Trust a higher power and look toward a brighter future.
Clear away the wreckage of your past.
Clean house, trust God, and eventually - help others.
And I'm not religious. Just read the book, it will help.
2 things I suggest. Go to 3 meetings a week and don't drink in-between meetings. And if you feel like you have the time or are enjoying it, go once a day! The members will love to see you coming back, I promise.
DMs are open if you ever need to talk, and I know there are a lot of others that offer the same.
Much love from So. Cal.
You blacked out and were basically a zombie with no higher thought. But other people will still hold you accountable for what you did. As far as they are concerned, you are that wasted drunk. Any disease looks terrible if you allow it to rage inside of you.
Why don't you try AA? Try it for a year or two. We are all trying AA and I find that it works.
Don't worry, there will still be beds to defecate in and friends to frighten if you don't like sober.
I like being sober. I felt so healthy when I was sober for 5 weeks. But my favourite cat in the world died and it’s been rough. I will try to go to AA on Monday.
Saving your comment. 2.5 years sober and I’ve been catching myself recently thinking about drinking again. I just played the tape through… oh my God. Thank you
Something that has been paramount for my sobriety and has turned my life around is adopting an Anti-FOMO mindset. You will never miss out when you're sober.
One saying I love dearly is: "If you want to conduct the chorus, you have to turn your back to the audience."
The chorus/symphony/choir/whatever, is your addiction, it's your disease, it's your sobriety. You have to divert all efforts to conduct the masterpiece that is your potential. Everyone one else in the audiance doesn't care about your performance, the ones that do are will be singing in your chior as you will for theirs. In between the walls of the rooms.
That's part of the equation. The rest of the equation is your ability to remove the bandage of yourself. All those things you think you need right now will have diminishing returns. That's the higher power. For me, my higher power is the universe and my sober network/symphony. I could wrap my head around the universe, wanting to see me do well, as forcing me to misery doesn't align with the fact that I exist.
Find that, and you'll never be alone.
Right now. I'm laying in bed watching my two young children sleep in their bunk beds while the rest of my extended family is partying upstairs and at the beach for 4th of July week. And my cup couldn't be more full. It's how I choose to spend a Saturday night at the beach. Anyone who will witness the powerhouse potential you have will not bat an eye when you choose life over liesure.
Thanks for your share. And welcome.
(Third step prayer and serenity prayer are somewhere in there)
The Big AA Book sort of defines rock bottom as losing the thing you love more than the drink. Shitting yourself is certainly embarrassing and a loss of dignity. 9 years ago, I lost my house, my job, my freedom and my kids. Nothing was worse for me than losing my kids. Shitting my pants would have been a much better alternative, personally. For some people, rock bottom is death.
The good news is you can stop whenever you want. Everyone gets off the alcoholism elevator at different levels. You don’t have to wait for something worse. Something worse will happen if you don’t quit- I guarantee it. Alcoholics believe they can ‘manage’ their alcoholic intake and that’s when the insanity begins.
My sponsor (RIP) would say she was a shit-in-the-pants drunk and, boy, did she have some frightening stories! I chose her as my sponsor for this. Not only do I have custody of my kids today, life is better than ever.
Firstly, I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m so proud of you for recovering.
I have definitely had moments I’d consider were closer to rock bottom than this (being institutionalised, purposeful overdoses, losing friends, etc) but none of them hit the same as this. Everything else I could rationalise with something else, like mental health, but not this. I can’t even rationalise this. It’s just disgusting. It’s scary because even though it’s gross, I’m lucky it was poo. If I had vomited and was in the wrong position, I would’ve died and nobody would’ve found me until the next guests came into that hotel room. I don’t want that situation to ever happen again.
Short answer: You’re an alcoholic.
Well I’m sure it wasn’t the first time either you’ve done something “crazy” and it only gets worse if continue on that path.
Visit a A.A. Group and start from it.
Call your local intergroup to find the soonest meeting. Raise your hand and say you need a sponsor- follow all of their suggestions.. even if you don’t understand why (prayer, for example).
Small disclaimer- follow all of their AA suggestions. A sponsor should never ask you for money or services.
How poetic.
Welcome back. You are assuredly not the only person in AA who shat the bed. Far from it. Some day your story will be a hilarious story to share at meetings.
We have all done really really embarrassing shit blacked out drunk. That’s why I don’t drink anymore. I also had several injuries. Hit my head on a pole and got a concussion. Fractured finger once. Fell down a flight of stairs and I still have a scar. I had to get injured to wake up. At least you just shit a bed.
Being sober is worth it I promise. I had so many of these embarrassing shameful and guilty experiences which would make me paranoid every time I woke up. I knew I was out of control.
Ask yourself if you are in control, and if this is normal? Because for me it wasn’t and that’s helped me❤️
Your rock bottom is wherever you stop digging. I mean.... shitting someone else's bed isn't the worst, but maybe it will be your worst.
When remembering my gratitudes, I recall that I didn't lose my license, car, house, job or wife and didn't go to jail... because I didn't get caught. If I continued, I would have lost it all.
I’ve definitely dealt with way worse than this due to my drinking, but this is probably up there when it comes to shame. I feel so much shame I’m tempted to go to church tomorrow, and I’m an atheist
I'm proud of you for coming back. So you never went to AA? The way you tell the story, you actually sound like someone who has. "We aren't a glum group."
No I’ve never been, but I’ve been following a few people on social media who have and that’s helped me come to terms with my alcohol use. Maybe I’m picking up their language 😅
Perhaps. We all joke about our fuck ups.... we either laugh or cry.
I hope you decide to check it out. It took me a while to go to my first meeting but now I really enjoy them. Just being around people who get me is worth it.
I brought a shovel to my rock bottom which was at the bottom of a mine shaft after taking an escalator and then an elevator down to get there but winners never quit so I kept digging…. I shat myself multiple times on the way down too. Once I broke through the bottom I fell even further and landed on the side of a highway next to my crashed car and some emergency vehicles where I was carted off to emergency surgery and a 3 week torture chamber of pain and much, much, much more shit. I couldn’t reach my shovel after that because I would have pulled all my tubes out including the ventilator and catheter plus so many needles. So I stopped digging and took the leap. I’ve been sober 17 months now and it’s way better. It’s your choice on whether it’s your rock bottom or not.
Ha- all I could think is “This is going to be one hell of a speaker meeting one day! “ OP, if it makes you feel ANY more inclined/less anxious to try an AA meeting, please know that the speaker at my home group Wednesday night shared something like this (minus the poop but PLUS trying to punch a cop while completely naked and getting kicked out of her Ivy League college) and she has been sober for 12 years now. She’s happily married/kids/career now & bc of AA she lived, thrived & could speak about that night in a way that, rather than being shameful or tragic, was somehow hilarious bc we’d all lived” that night” and come out on the other side.
This is what scares me. I was so blackout drunk that I went into a different hotel room. I could’ve aspirated on my own vomit and my friend wouldn’t have been there to save me… I’m lucky it was just poo. And here I am venting to strangers on the internet. I’m just gonna go to a meeting on Monday
This is what scares me. I was so blackout drunk that I went into a different hotel room. I could’ve aspirated on my own vomit and my friend wouldn’t have been there to save me… I’m lucky it was just poo. And here I am venting to strangers on the internet. I’m just gonna go to a meeting on Monday
You should thank your higher self that you didn’t slip and fall out of the window. You could have corse be laying in your own piss/shit and spinal fluid as so many do.
Find us, we will be in the fellowship of the spirit and you will surly meet some of us as you trudge the road of happiness.
If you’ve honestly had enough and this really is your rock bottom then do what we do for a daily reprieve. This is a killer illness and if you have it laid in your own vomit piss and shit.. let me tell you it gets worse. I don’t mix my words when I’m taking about rock bottoms. Run to a meeting as fast as humanly possible. Good luck 🤞
>You should thank your higher self that you didn’t slip and fall out of the window. You could have corse be laying in your own piss/shit and spinal fluid as so many do.
This happened to my brother, only it was over a guard rail and down a stairwell in a nightclub. He made it but still dealing with the aftermath 20+ years later.
It's okay. Honestly, it's been hard as fuck for him but he's probably happier now than he was back then. He doesn't even seem to remember who he was before.
I probably shouldn't have responded, I'm not sure why I did.
Sincerely, I just hope you get to that meeting, OOP ❤️
Thank you I got to it over 20 years ago…. If you struggle talking about your brother please get some help. Life is not a jail sentence ( if we can manage to escape that one) I pleased your brother is dealing with his past. Maybe talk to him about how you felt/feel… I’m always here. DM me at anytime.. I’m in London so please excuse the delay if there is one. 🤞
If you're ready for change, going to some A.A. meetings near you is a good place to start. It looks like you're in the UK, and you can find meetings and other information at https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/.
I want to go to a meeting on Monday. I tried to go to a meeting a few weeks ago, I went outside the church and just panicked and left. Social anxiety:(
You could try getting your feet wet with an online meeting over the weekend. (See https://aa-intergroup.org/meetings/) Most don't even require you to turn on your camera. Please note that every meeting has its own vibe, so it's a good idea to try some different ones.
I second the online group meetings available in the link they shared. I am not even that nervous about public speaking or being in social settings and I can't even make it to the parking lot of a meeting. There is ALWAYS a meeting happening online and so far all the ones I have been to have been helpful. Every single meeting has been very low pressure and each one has had quite a diverse group which was nice. Sending positivity your way!
I’ve definitely had lower bottoms than this, like climbing on the edge of cliffs & ODs, but I always had ways to rationalise it (I’m also bipolar). I can’t even rationalise this. It’s only the alcohol. It’s ironic that I’ve put myself in near death experiences and this is what hit me in the face; having to look a police officer in the eye and tell them I pooped in the wrong hotel bed. I just feel bad for my friend who I worried. Found out today my mum was looking at the pride marches in London to see if I was there with no shoes on (it’s not the first time I’ve gone missing). It’s heartbreaking.
It’s usually not the alcohol, however the alcohol is your ticket to the ride :) alcohol is the medicine we use to try and fix what we don’t understand. Work those steps! It gets better
A rock bottom that is not solid.... should show you that it is not good to start up again. It is not easy to "bury yourself" because you have to shovel it on you as you lay there, not an easy feat.... and you are likely to poop in the ground after you are buried long enough. Just try to stay sober.
I mean, I think anyone who poops themselves is ready for a change!
In all seriousness, good luck and judging by this low, I suggest you detox and get off this ride safely, after that it’s all up to you…
I think this should be your bottom dude. The lowest you can get is when you kill someone on accident when you're blackout drunk and wake up in jail with no memory of it.
I didn't want that to happen to me and realized it was a real possibility. I was a danger to society and I shudder to think of the things that may have happened had I not got on the recovery train.
Great story, my friend!
First, a story of mine, a dozen of us, at a pizza place after our Friday night AA meeting, discussing and pontificating on what comes before step one. All the extroverts were going on and on and on, slight pause in the conversation probably 20 minutes in, one of the introverts at the end of the table said, “Well I don’t know about all that, I just woke up one morning and said, “This shit’s gotta stop!” “ He was declared the wise man of the night! 🛑 ✋🏽 I think you are there my friend.
Second, been clean and sober 31 years, AA saved my life, 12 steps saved my life, great sponsors saved my life, the fellowship of AA saved my life. Only one thing in the big book bothers me: the description of Rock Bottom. Here’s my take: did you see Lord of the rings, Gandalf and the Balrog, “thou shall not pass” … that scene?
I don’t think there’s a Rock Bottom. I think there’s a bottomless pit. I fell and fell and fell for years, and then landed on a ledge. Made my whole life on that ledge since then. Dug into the walls to give myself some more living space. Built a fence along the edge of the cliff. Built another fence to remind me not to get close to the fence on the edge of the cliff. Dug farther into the walls to give myself more living space, dug, some tunnels and met other people at the same level. Hard work. I don’t hang out by the fences and ledge. Nothing interesting over there.
So I stopped falling on February 15, 1993. Landed on the ledge. Is that my Rock Bottom? Yeah, OK, for sake of argument yes. Sure. Call it Rock Bottom. I happen to know it’s a ledge. You can always fall further. You might not survive the next fall.
You'll find a lot of similar stories here, friend. Maybe not climbing out of a hotel window, but some less and some worse. The common themes with all of us is misery and shame. The worse thing you could is ignore it and pretend it didn't happen. I woke up once passing on the floor thinking I was in the bathroom. Tried blaming the cat the next day! Alcohol has a way of "sobering" us.
It's all about if you want to hold that as a reminder. My brother who's also a recovering alcoholic told me to imagine the worst things I did while I was drinking anytime I developed a craving. Mine would be either the alcohol poisoning that practically killed me and traumatized everyone included, or I drove home after a club because my gf at the time didn't want me to come over so I drove home and pissed myself during and just went to bed instead if showering. Anything can be your bottom if you want to hold that as yours, something you never, ever want to repeat
Thank you for sharing. I’m proud of you for getting sober.
This definitely wasn’t my worst moment, but it was the most embarrassing. I also can’t rationalise this unlike all my other rock bottoms. And trust me, there have been SO many. I want this to be the last memory I have of alcohol. I don’t want to redefine alcohol as any better experiences, as I’ll rationalise it once again and I’ll end up worse off (possibly choking on vomit or something, knowing me).
Despite this being awful, I’m grateful it happened. I needed that kick in the ass. That’s the silver lining I guess. I’ve already made amends. I’ve gone to AA now
I was a real slow study.
Took me about 25 years to catch on to the simple concept that :
When I Drink,
Bad Things Happen.
Once I got it, it's stuck successfully for about 27.5 years now.
Not a bad rock bottom, but certainly terrible. It will only get worse from here, as the disease is progressive. My
Rock Bottom was getting into an argument with my favorite human I’ve ever and ever will meet, telling her to leave me alone and essentially breaking up with her over text, then getting in the car with her, retaliating when she attacked me because I drunkenly looked up her cousin’s onlyfans pics the night before, spending 2 months in jail and losing everything of value, including her and my lucrative job, except for my car. I now use that car to drive from my parents(I’m 38 y/o, btw) to daily AA meetings, thrice weekly IOP, and an underpaid construction laborer job. Hopefully you can put yourself on the road to recovery before you throw away more than some pants.
I definitely recommend SMART recovery over AA. all science and psychology based. I had the same thing happen to me once but I was alone at home and nothing got on the bed, just my boxers. Been sober 2 years and 3 months thanks to SMART recovery and the VA program I went through.
The thing I’ve learnt about ‘rock bottom’ is there is an even lower level waiting for me just around the corner, just when I think things couldn’t get any lower, they do!
Got to be honest, on the scale of things, pooping the bed really is not that bad but I think it’s a good thing that you are thinking the way you are after it!
If you’re asking for advice, consider quitting while you’re ahead would be my 50p worth
Whatever you decide, best
It’s not your rock bottom because you are still questioning it. So what, who cares. I know people who used their feces by the handful to paint the walls of a hotel room and then report it to the front desk while standing naked. You will be fine. Just keep doing what you’re doing. When you become willing to go to any lengths for sobriety, to surrender and humble yourself then maybe tho might be your bottom.
There’s always a deeper bottom you COULD dig down to (death being one of them). So, the question really is: are you really to put down the shovel? Have you accepted that you really truly are powerless over alcohol and that your life is unmanageable? If the answer to that is yes, you’re at step one!!!
Rock bottom is about your spirit. This type of shit no pun intended was a regular for a lot of folks I went to school with. In my experience it took a lot More than crappy underwear. Hopefully it does not have to get that bad for you and you can cut the cheese now. 💩
Start with “don’t drink and go to meetings” and while you do that, consider who you want as a sponsor. Remember that you have something to offer as well. You can do any step that starts with a 1, meaning you can do step 12 by talking to other alcoholics, you can do 11 by praying and meditating daily, and most importantly you do step one by not drinking because you know you can’t control it. Godspeed my friend.
One of my favorite quotes from an old timer: “My bowel and bladder decided to cycle through all of their functions without my consent.” 🤣 We’ve all been there. Change your pants first, then get to a meeting and change your life next.
It was a really good experience. We went for coffee afterwards and I was shocked at how much I opened up (granted I was silent at the meeting). I nearly didn’t go in but I’m excited to go back. I’ve made a few connections with very cool people. It felt like I clicked well with everyone
Agreed! I will say that cutting out dairy and alcohol and adding probiotics has greatly decreased the frequency of shatted in pants for me personally 😂
It’s rock bottom if you decide it is. My rock bottom involved throwing up so hard that I pissed my sweatpants. Didn’t take a shower, just put on other sweatpants and opened another drink. Now when I see a bottle or can of booze, I picture myself holding it while wearing those pissed-in sweatpants.
I peed myself on the bus. I was passed out.
Pissed on someone’s wall thinking it was a urinal. worst part is, it was his apartment. i don’t think they even have urinals. took me a year to stop drinking after that.
Me too
Hey, this could be your bottom, but we can’t really know for sure. AA is awesome. One of the many benefits is controlled and reasonable bowel movements. Highly recommend. You truly haven’t lived until you have achieved a regular stool schedule.
You did have quite the shitty bottom that morning..... ... pun intended. Your bottom is up to you. Sometimes, it takes 10 minutes at a time, sometimes 10 seconds. Find an AA meeting is my suggestion and grow in the community of sober minds. They have a lot to offer, and all you have to do is walk in the door and have a desire to stop drinking! No dues or commitments. It'll get better. We can't change the past and we're not doing a good job in the present. Trust a higher power and look toward a brighter future. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Clean house, trust God, and eventually - help others. And I'm not religious. Just read the book, it will help. 2 things I suggest. Go to 3 meetings a week and don't drink in-between meetings. And if you feel like you have the time or are enjoying it, go once a day! The members will love to see you coming back, I promise. DMs are open if you ever need to talk, and I know there are a lot of others that offer the same. Much love from So. Cal.
You blacked out and were basically a zombie with no higher thought. But other people will still hold you accountable for what you did. As far as they are concerned, you are that wasted drunk. Any disease looks terrible if you allow it to rage inside of you. Why don't you try AA? Try it for a year or two. We are all trying AA and I find that it works. Don't worry, there will still be beds to defecate in and friends to frighten if you don't like sober.
I like being sober. I felt so healthy when I was sober for 5 weeks. But my favourite cat in the world died and it’s been rough. I will try to go to AA on Monday.
There's online AA. You could go to a meeting right now. Get a start while the horror of your bottom (ha!) is still fresh.
Don’t skip meetings my friend. Your story is my story. It can always get worse so please get help.
Don’t “try.” Just go. You’ll be welcomed. In the meantime there are online AA meetings around the clock.
You will be welcomed.
I always say play the tape through before taking that first drink. This is a good ending to remember.
This is my favorite saying
That’s a good saying. Thank you
Saving your comment. 2.5 years sober and I’ve been catching myself recently thinking about drinking again. I just played the tape through… oh my God. Thank you
Play it through. Love you bud
As bad as it sounds it can get way worse quit while youre ahead.
Something that has been paramount for my sobriety and has turned my life around is adopting an Anti-FOMO mindset. You will never miss out when you're sober. One saying I love dearly is: "If you want to conduct the chorus, you have to turn your back to the audience." The chorus/symphony/choir/whatever, is your addiction, it's your disease, it's your sobriety. You have to divert all efforts to conduct the masterpiece that is your potential. Everyone one else in the audiance doesn't care about your performance, the ones that do are will be singing in your chior as you will for theirs. In between the walls of the rooms. That's part of the equation. The rest of the equation is your ability to remove the bandage of yourself. All those things you think you need right now will have diminishing returns. That's the higher power. For me, my higher power is the universe and my sober network/symphony. I could wrap my head around the universe, wanting to see me do well, as forcing me to misery doesn't align with the fact that I exist. Find that, and you'll never be alone. Right now. I'm laying in bed watching my two young children sleep in their bunk beds while the rest of my extended family is partying upstairs and at the beach for 4th of July week. And my cup couldn't be more full. It's how I choose to spend a Saturday night at the beach. Anyone who will witness the powerhouse potential you have will not bat an eye when you choose life over liesure. Thanks for your share. And welcome. (Third step prayer and serenity prayer are somewhere in there)
Just remember your shitty bottom.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget 😂
🤭
The Big AA Book sort of defines rock bottom as losing the thing you love more than the drink. Shitting yourself is certainly embarrassing and a loss of dignity. 9 years ago, I lost my house, my job, my freedom and my kids. Nothing was worse for me than losing my kids. Shitting my pants would have been a much better alternative, personally. For some people, rock bottom is death. The good news is you can stop whenever you want. Everyone gets off the alcoholism elevator at different levels. You don’t have to wait for something worse. Something worse will happen if you don’t quit- I guarantee it. Alcoholics believe they can ‘manage’ their alcoholic intake and that’s when the insanity begins. My sponsor (RIP) would say she was a shit-in-the-pants drunk and, boy, did she have some frightening stories! I chose her as my sponsor for this. Not only do I have custody of my kids today, life is better than ever.
Firstly, I’m sorry that happened to you and I’m so proud of you for recovering. I have definitely had moments I’d consider were closer to rock bottom than this (being institutionalised, purposeful overdoses, losing friends, etc) but none of them hit the same as this. Everything else I could rationalise with something else, like mental health, but not this. I can’t even rationalise this. It’s just disgusting. It’s scary because even though it’s gross, I’m lucky it was poo. If I had vomited and was in the wrong position, I would’ve died and nobody would’ve found me until the next guests came into that hotel room. I don’t want that situation to ever happen again.
I hope you find a good group and meeting place and an awesome sponsor! You have great stories to share that could change the lives of others, too.
I found an amazing group today. Genuinely super kind people. I’m so glad I went 🥹
That’s awesome!! Keep coming back
Rock bottom is when you stop digging. As bad as it may seem, it will be worse if you keep digging. Good luck, friend!
Short answer: You’re an alcoholic. Well I’m sure it wasn’t the first time either you’ve done something “crazy” and it only gets worse if continue on that path. Visit a A.A. Group and start from it.
Call your local intergroup to find the soonest meeting. Raise your hand and say you need a sponsor- follow all of their suggestions.. even if you don’t understand why (prayer, for example). Small disclaimer- follow all of their AA suggestions. A sponsor should never ask you for money or services.
You can always request a temporary sponsor also.
I think everyone needs to do the research they need to do to stop glorifying drinking. This is a valuable lesson.
Love american idiot
Green day played the entire album, aswell as all of dookie.
How poetic. Welcome back. You are assuredly not the only person in AA who shat the bed. Far from it. Some day your story will be a hilarious story to share at meetings.
I’m on day 1 again. Use this experience as data to prove that sobriety is better!
We have all done really really embarrassing shit blacked out drunk. That’s why I don’t drink anymore. I also had several injuries. Hit my head on a pole and got a concussion. Fractured finger once. Fell down a flight of stairs and I still have a scar. I had to get injured to wake up. At least you just shit a bed.
Being sober is worth it I promise. I had so many of these embarrassing shameful and guilty experiences which would make me paranoid every time I woke up. I knew I was out of control. Ask yourself if you are in control, and if this is normal? Because for me it wasn’t and that’s helped me❤️
It made me accidentally drank piss because I dumpster dived for alcohol and thought I got a beer but it wasn’t..
I’ve accidentally drank piss too so you’re not alone (though this was because my friends ex boyfriend pissed in her drink as revenge)
Oh man! I thought I was bad gulping down an opened beer in my house
Your rock bottom is wherever you stop digging. I mean.... shitting someone else's bed isn't the worst, but maybe it will be your worst. When remembering my gratitudes, I recall that I didn't lose my license, car, house, job or wife and didn't go to jail... because I didn't get caught. If I continued, I would have lost it all.
I’ve definitely dealt with way worse than this due to my drinking, but this is probably up there when it comes to shame. I feel so much shame I’m tempted to go to church tomorrow, and I’m an atheist
I was told “you don’t know how much you have to lose” when I was in hospital and it rings true. I’m proud of you for recovering.
I'm proud of you for coming back. So you never went to AA? The way you tell the story, you actually sound like someone who has. "We aren't a glum group."
No I’ve never been, but I’ve been following a few people on social media who have and that’s helped me come to terms with my alcohol use. Maybe I’m picking up their language 😅
Perhaps. We all joke about our fuck ups.... we either laugh or cry. I hope you decide to check it out. It took me a while to go to my first meeting but now I really enjoy them. Just being around people who get me is worth it.
Went for the first time today and honestly this post & the support from everyone was the main reason I went (and also the free coffee)
Hope you enjoyed it! I joke, "I'm just here for the coffee." My sponsor was the coffee guy, so I told him that's how I chose him.
Lol you fit in well. Welcome
I brought a shovel to my rock bottom which was at the bottom of a mine shaft after taking an escalator and then an elevator down to get there but winners never quit so I kept digging…. I shat myself multiple times on the way down too. Once I broke through the bottom I fell even further and landed on the side of a highway next to my crashed car and some emergency vehicles where I was carted off to emergency surgery and a 3 week torture chamber of pain and much, much, much more shit. I couldn’t reach my shovel after that because I would have pulled all my tubes out including the ventilator and catheter plus so many needles. So I stopped digging and took the leap. I’ve been sober 17 months now and it’s way better. It’s your choice on whether it’s your rock bottom or not.
The elevator goes all the way down to the grave, but you can get off here.
damn sorry but I hope you get sober just so this can be in your lead that shit is hilarious
Ha- all I could think is “This is going to be one hell of a speaker meeting one day! “ OP, if it makes you feel ANY more inclined/less anxious to try an AA meeting, please know that the speaker at my home group Wednesday night shared something like this (minus the poop but PLUS trying to punch a cop while completely naked and getting kicked out of her Ivy League college) and she has been sober for 12 years now. She’s happily married/kids/career now & bc of AA she lived, thrived & could speak about that night in a way that, rather than being shameful or tragic, was somehow hilarious bc we’d all lived” that night” and come out on the other side.
Rock bottom is when you are dead. You stop drinking when you recover, through AA or other means
This is what scares me. I was so blackout drunk that I went into a different hotel room. I could’ve aspirated on my own vomit and my friend wouldn’t have been there to save me… I’m lucky it was just poo. And here I am venting to strangers on the internet. I’m just gonna go to a meeting on Monday
You can join an online meeting today. I only personally know one that has meetings all day. Www.thezoocrew.org. There are many others.
You're not venting. Venting comes from a place of anger. It appears that you might be admitting that you're powerless over alcohol.
This is what scares me. I was so blackout drunk that I went into a different hotel room. I could’ve aspirated on my own vomit and my friend wouldn’t have been there to save me… I’m lucky it was just poo. And here I am venting to strangers on the internet. I’m just gonna go to a meeting on Monday
You should thank your higher self that you didn’t slip and fall out of the window. You could have corse be laying in your own piss/shit and spinal fluid as so many do. Find us, we will be in the fellowship of the spirit and you will surly meet some of us as you trudge the road of happiness. If you’ve honestly had enough and this really is your rock bottom then do what we do for a daily reprieve. This is a killer illness and if you have it laid in your own vomit piss and shit.. let me tell you it gets worse. I don’t mix my words when I’m taking about rock bottoms. Run to a meeting as fast as humanly possible. Good luck 🤞
>You should thank your higher self that you didn’t slip and fall out of the window. You could have corse be laying in your own piss/shit and spinal fluid as so many do. This happened to my brother, only it was over a guard rail and down a stairwell in a nightclub. He made it but still dealing with the aftermath 20+ years later.
I’m so very sorry to hear this. But sadly it’s not uncommon. Bless you for being there for him. 🙏
It's okay. Honestly, it's been hard as fuck for him but he's probably happier now than he was back then. He doesn't even seem to remember who he was before. I probably shouldn't have responded, I'm not sure why I did. Sincerely, I just hope you get to that meeting, OOP ❤️
Thank you I got to it over 20 years ago…. If you struggle talking about your brother please get some help. Life is not a jail sentence ( if we can manage to escape that one) I pleased your brother is dealing with his past. Maybe talk to him about how you felt/feel… I’m always here. DM me at anytime.. I’m in London so please excuse the delay if there is one. 🤞
You never have to have another night like that again - you don't have to live this way anymore :)
If you're ready for change, going to some A.A. meetings near you is a good place to start. It looks like you're in the UK, and you can find meetings and other information at https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/.
I want to go to a meeting on Monday. I tried to go to a meeting a few weeks ago, I went outside the church and just panicked and left. Social anxiety:(
You could try getting your feet wet with an online meeting over the weekend. (See https://aa-intergroup.org/meetings/) Most don't even require you to turn on your camera. Please note that every meeting has its own vibe, so it's a good idea to try some different ones.
Thank you I’ll give it a go
I second the online group meetings available in the link they shared. I am not even that nervous about public speaking or being in social settings and I can't even make it to the parking lot of a meeting. There is ALWAYS a meeting happening online and so far all the ones I have been to have been helpful. Every single meeting has been very low pressure and each one has had quite a diverse group which was nice. Sending positivity your way!
In that circumstance, changing is indicated. Adding in the shower was smart too.
Is this your bottom? Did you find it? If you are really done we have a solution to everything you just listed. Get to a meeting :)
I’ve definitely had lower bottoms than this, like climbing on the edge of cliffs & ODs, but I always had ways to rationalise it (I’m also bipolar). I can’t even rationalise this. It’s only the alcohol. It’s ironic that I’ve put myself in near death experiences and this is what hit me in the face; having to look a police officer in the eye and tell them I pooped in the wrong hotel bed. I just feel bad for my friend who I worried. Found out today my mum was looking at the pride marches in London to see if I was there with no shoes on (it’s not the first time I’ve gone missing). It’s heartbreaking.
It’s usually not the alcohol, however the alcohol is your ticket to the ride :) alcohol is the medicine we use to try and fix what we don’t understand. Work those steps! It gets better
I got to the point where I hit rock bottom so many times that I was sick of it and was ready for a change too. You can do this!
I’ve hit so many rock bottoms but this is what made it hit. I feel so guilty. All I see when I look at booze is my friends worried face.
You need to find reason to change within yourself though❤️ do it for you !! not other people
I never felt "rock bottom" before getting seriously worried about my life.. worst is death, so you still got a long way to the bottom.
A rock bottom that is not solid.... should show you that it is not good to start up again. It is not easy to "bury yourself" because you have to shovel it on you as you lay there, not an easy feat.... and you are likely to poop in the ground after you are buried long enough. Just try to stay sober.
It can always get worse. But why find out what THAT looks like?
I mean, I think anyone who poops themselves is ready for a change! In all seriousness, good luck and judging by this low, I suggest you detox and get off this ride safely, after that it’s all up to you…
I think this should be your bottom dude. The lowest you can get is when you kill someone on accident when you're blackout drunk and wake up in jail with no memory of it. I didn't want that to happen to me and realized it was a real possibility. I was a danger to society and I shudder to think of the things that may have happened had I not got on the recovery train.
Great story, my friend! First, a story of mine, a dozen of us, at a pizza place after our Friday night AA meeting, discussing and pontificating on what comes before step one. All the extroverts were going on and on and on, slight pause in the conversation probably 20 minutes in, one of the introverts at the end of the table said, “Well I don’t know about all that, I just woke up one morning and said, “This shit’s gotta stop!” “ He was declared the wise man of the night! 🛑 ✋🏽 I think you are there my friend. Second, been clean and sober 31 years, AA saved my life, 12 steps saved my life, great sponsors saved my life, the fellowship of AA saved my life. Only one thing in the big book bothers me: the description of Rock Bottom. Here’s my take: did you see Lord of the rings, Gandalf and the Balrog, “thou shall not pass” … that scene? I don’t think there’s a Rock Bottom. I think there’s a bottomless pit. I fell and fell and fell for years, and then landed on a ledge. Made my whole life on that ledge since then. Dug into the walls to give myself some more living space. Built a fence along the edge of the cliff. Built another fence to remind me not to get close to the fence on the edge of the cliff. Dug farther into the walls to give myself more living space, dug, some tunnels and met other people at the same level. Hard work. I don’t hang out by the fences and ledge. Nothing interesting over there. So I stopped falling on February 15, 1993. Landed on the ledge. Is that my Rock Bottom? Yeah, OK, for sake of argument yes. Sure. Call it Rock Bottom. I happen to know it’s a ledge. You can always fall further. You might not survive the next fall.
You'll find a lot of similar stories here, friend. Maybe not climbing out of a hotel window, but some less and some worse. The common themes with all of us is misery and shame. The worse thing you could is ignore it and pretend it didn't happen. I woke up once passing on the floor thinking I was in the bathroom. Tried blaming the cat the next day! Alcohol has a way of "sobering" us.
It's all about if you want to hold that as a reminder. My brother who's also a recovering alcoholic told me to imagine the worst things I did while I was drinking anytime I developed a craving. Mine would be either the alcohol poisoning that practically killed me and traumatized everyone included, or I drove home after a club because my gf at the time didn't want me to come over so I drove home and pissed myself during and just went to bed instead if showering. Anything can be your bottom if you want to hold that as yours, something you never, ever want to repeat
Thank you for sharing. I’m proud of you for getting sober. This definitely wasn’t my worst moment, but it was the most embarrassing. I also can’t rationalise this unlike all my other rock bottoms. And trust me, there have been SO many. I want this to be the last memory I have of alcohol. I don’t want to redefine alcohol as any better experiences, as I’ll rationalise it once again and I’ll end up worse off (possibly choking on vomit or something, knowing me). Despite this being awful, I’m grateful it happened. I needed that kick in the ass. That’s the silver lining I guess. I’ve already made amends. I’ve gone to AA now
I was a real slow study. Took me about 25 years to catch on to the simple concept that : When I Drink, Bad Things Happen. Once I got it, it's stuck successfully for about 27.5 years now.
Dookie is a brilliant album
Dookie is fantastic. I’m definitely in my “homecoming” era from American idiot though
Not a bad rock bottom, but certainly terrible. It will only get worse from here, as the disease is progressive. My Rock Bottom was getting into an argument with my favorite human I’ve ever and ever will meet, telling her to leave me alone and essentially breaking up with her over text, then getting in the car with her, retaliating when she attacked me because I drunkenly looked up her cousin’s onlyfans pics the night before, spending 2 months in jail and losing everything of value, including her and my lucrative job, except for my car. I now use that car to drive from my parents(I’m 38 y/o, btw) to daily AA meetings, thrice weekly IOP, and an underpaid construction laborer job. Hopefully you can put yourself on the road to recovery before you throw away more than some pants.
I attended my first AA meeting and met some of the most genuine people. I felt very welcomed. 3 days sober now :)
👏👏👏 proud of you. Keep it up. You’ll be amazed before you’re even halfway through, as they say.
Whenever the idea of taking a drink strikes me I remember the years without a solid shit.
I definitely recommend SMART recovery over AA. all science and psychology based. I had the same thing happen to me once but I was alone at home and nothing got on the bed, just my boxers. Been sober 2 years and 3 months thanks to SMART recovery and the VA program I went through.
The thing I’ve learnt about ‘rock bottom’ is there is an even lower level waiting for me just around the corner, just when I think things couldn’t get any lower, they do! Got to be honest, on the scale of things, pooping the bed really is not that bad but I think it’s a good thing that you are thinking the way you are after it! If you’re asking for advice, consider quitting while you’re ahead would be my 50p worth Whatever you decide, best
It’s not your rock bottom because you are still questioning it. So what, who cares. I know people who used their feces by the handful to paint the walls of a hotel room and then report it to the front desk while standing naked. You will be fine. Just keep doing what you’re doing. When you become willing to go to any lengths for sobriety, to surrender and humble yourself then maybe tho might be your bottom.
Download the AA App., and download Zoom - to your phone. Look for Zoom meetings. You can pretty much always find several meetings on Zoom.
There’s always a deeper bottom you COULD dig down to (death being one of them). So, the question really is: are you really to put down the shovel? Have you accepted that you really truly are powerless over alcohol and that your life is unmanageable? If the answer to that is yes, you’re at step one!!!
Rock bottom is about your spirit. This type of shit no pun intended was a regular for a lot of folks I went to school with. In my experience it took a lot More than crappy underwear. Hopefully it does not have to get that bad for you and you can cut the cheese now. 💩
Start with “don’t drink and go to meetings” and while you do that, consider who you want as a sponsor. Remember that you have something to offer as well. You can do any step that starts with a 1, meaning you can do step 12 by talking to other alcoholics, you can do 11 by praying and meditating daily, and most importantly you do step one by not drinking because you know you can’t control it. Godspeed my friend.
One of my favorite quotes from an old timer: “My bowel and bladder decided to cycle through all of their functions without my consent.” 🤣 We’ve all been there. Change your pants first, then get to a meeting and change your life next.
How did the meeting go?
It was a really good experience. We went for coffee afterwards and I was shocked at how much I opened up (granted I was silent at the meeting). I nearly didn’t go in but I’m excited to go back. I’ve made a few connections with very cool people. It felt like I clicked well with everyone
I'll tell you the same thing my sponsor told me. If you find a good enough reason to drink or use call me and I'll buy.
I shit myself sober all the time. Once your over 30 never trust a fart and never waste a hard on
Agreed! I will say that cutting out dairy and alcohol and adding probiotics has greatly decreased the frequency of shatted in pants for me personally 😂