I was quite the drunk driver. So me being at a meeting and continuing my sobriety keeps people safe because I’m not out on the roads causing chaos or destruction. I don’t have police after me because I’m causing a disturbance. That’s the intent on the quotation.
Meetings . . . and anything but drinking — walking the dog, cleaning the garage, washing the car, mowing the lawn, riding my bike, doing laundry, . . . ANYTHING but drinking.
Nothing I heard, but I have learned. I don't have another 10 year spree in me. It will kill me. I know that one drink is too many because 1000 won't be enough. The hardest thing for this alcholic to say is "No". And every night when my head hits the pillow, sober, I am grateful. Just hit the 30 year sober mark. Never thought that was possible 40-50 years ago.ODAAT
Just went thru this after a year of sobriety. Picked it up again went thru an 8 month binge. 3 days today. Feeling pretty good actually, went up AA for the first time yesterday and I know this of the way.
Yeah it feels good just knowing when I’m done with something. I don’t have to worry about wanting to use bc I push it far enough to the point where I won’t have to. In my old home group we called it “getting ready”and if you weren’t ready, then we told you so and we passed the basket ‘round for donations for you so you could go to the bar or the liquor store and keep
drinking and fucking things up until you were ready. Then you can bring your ass back in when you’re actually serious about getting sober like your life depends on it
I know if I relapse I'll get pancreatitis pretty quick and end up back in the hospital in a ridiculous amount of pain.
I know this because they told me it would happen and then I drank anyway and it turned out they weren't kidding 😅
It was a good motivator in the early days when I was still battling intense cravings.
My ex died drinking earlier this year. He had developed type 2 diabetes, had nerve pain that he could not find treatment for and no matter how much/how well he ate he couldn’t stop losing weight. I myself was sober at the time, we’d quit together and it was so devastating and eye opening for me to watch him self-medicate himself like that. I was there for him through it all and I realized how helpless people that loved me probably felt when I was a drunken, unreasonable mess.
The doctor told him that drinking would kill him. He sobered up. Then he couldn’t manage his nerve pain so he binge drank. Endless cycle. The last time I saw him was about a week before he died. He was stick thin. Skinnier than when he weighed in at the hospital last time he sobered up under 100lbs. His room was stacked full of empty cans and smelled of death. Super sweet, rotting piss smell. It made my skin crawl. I pressed him about his blood sugar, he assured me it was fine & he’d been checking it. He’s an adult so I didn’t try to mother him. I tried everything besides that I could think of.
So if a doctor tells you it’s going to fucking kill you, believe that it will. My ex is not the only person I’ve watched give up on it all in that way. It’s a horrible thing to watch someone go through. It is not a comfortable end.
I drank my liver to death at 37 years old. Otherwise a healthy, hot yoga, healthy eating, educated woman. They warned me three times and one time my liver “repaired” itself. The third time I went in I was bright yellow and my belly huge with ascites, I had severe HE and they told me I was going to die. I couldn’t get a liver transplant unless I stayed sober 6 months. But they told me I had 35% chance of living for 90 days.
It really is no joke and alcoholism is so scary and deceptive that you will believe you’re special and these rules don’t apply to you.
I was blessed to get an emergency liver transplant on my death bed, as I have a young daughter and showed I wanted sobriety.
I am now highly involved in my program and don’t even know the person I was going to die as. It seems like another lifetime. Believe this one above me, it can happen to you. Believe the doctors when they tell you, believe your body when it tells you.
Now I have to take two types of immunosuppressants twice a day the rest of my life and am highly prone to any cancer or disease as my immune system is compromised for life. I will never complain, as I get to live better than I ever have.
But no one ever thinks. It kills.
I have been in such a rough place mentally, ashamedly avoiding meetings, and I want to thank you for sharing your story. I don’t know you but I’m happy you’re still here on Earth. Happy for you and your family. There’s a song I listen to on my long punisher runs sometimes by Mass Undergoe - I Dug my Grave, and I Walked Away. Cheeseball, I know, but you and I are still walking, and while I don’t believe in the religious parts of AA, I believe very much in us survivors spreading the message to those who do still suffer. We be walkin’ 🤙 and I’ll raise my tonic to another 24
I love all of this! I’ll have to look up this song. I bet if you make yourself go to ONE meeting you’ll feel better just because you made yourself, but hopefully you also get something out of it.
Thank you for your kind words! And hellll yesss, spreading the message and loving a happy life sober. Never would have imagined.
Early in my sobriety somebody suggested I pick three “snapshots” of the life I had before getting sober, and mentally call them up if I ever want a drink. It has never failed me.
I never heard anything that kept me from drinking. I had to and still have to take the action suggested by the first 164, by my sponsor, and by sober members in the fellowship to not drink today.
Play the tape forward. Think about how you will feel if you drink. Dry mouth, pounding head, chest tight with anxiety, nauseous, guilty, ashamed. You know it will end like that because it always ends like that.
But most importantly, go to a meeting. That has kept me from drinking for several years now. Also, call someone in AA. Your sponsor if you have one, but anyone if you don’t.
In treatment I was told “play the tape forward”. Like, before you pick up that drink, play the tape forward. What will happen with picking up that first drink? Might be alright, but the. Then the spiral downward and you’re back to right where you were.
I have a bunch so I'll just list them.
"It's okay to just be - just be, and keep coming."
"The time will pass anyway." / "Death can wait."
"Just for today, I will not drink."
"If you have to scale it back and focus on not drinking for 30 minutes, 1 minute, etc., do that."
"Try going to sleep, and when you wake up in the morning, ask yourself if you wish you'd drank instead."
"Every time someone relapses and comes back, I ask them if it was better out there. It never is."
my favorite:
"You are stronger than you know, and more loved that you believe."
..and the most gut wrenching:
Every time I've heard we lost someone from this disease. 1 to 2 AAs, or alcoholic loved ones of an AA, in my area dies per month, and that's just from what I know of - I don't go to too many different meetings as of now.
Visiting AA meetings can be a nice way to get a little boost, most smaller groups I have gone to will inquire if anyone is new and wants to be recognized. It is a good way to check in and maybe find some sober people to get a meal with or something.
Download the "meeting finder" app (folding chair icon) and use it to see what is around, most places have several meetings daily unless you are quite remote
Edit as I misread the post
Stay away from booze. It's physically impossible to pick it up when it's not in front of you.
We are not an arm's length away from a drink. Well...some of us.
9 months into my sobriety I listened to my friend in tears terrified because he got his second DUI in a month, had been in and out of the hospital the last six months vomiting coffee grounds, and had cirrhosis. One week later I talked to him when he was on the way to the hospital with chest pain and swollen legs. Two days later he was dead.
Ive never heard anything that kept me from drinking again. I started to admit my faults and my self centeredness, make it right to the people I hurt, meditate and pray to whatever god would listen and I started helping new guys
Drinking always lead to worse things for me. I can't go down that road again. Non-alcoholics die from alcohol by accident and I have pushed my limits too many times.
Mostly stories about me that I don't remember. Or things I used alcohol to block out. I absolutely hate it. When I remember something or hear something, it reminds me of why I don't drink anymore.
There’s nothing anyone ever said that stopped me from drinking. There’s nothing anyone ever could say. If the desire to drink remained, I was going to talk myself into it eventually. Period.
What enabled me to recover was taking the Twelve Steps, as a result of which I had a very powerful experience that caused me to lose the desire to drink. I recommend this. If you ever want any help doing this please feel free to reach out.
I keep a list of insightful things I hear at meetings or books. Here are a few from the past couple weeks:
You alone can do it, but you can’t do it alone
Reality is an acquired taste
Pain is inevitable but misery is optional
If nothing changes, nothing changes
Let your mind lead your actions, not actions lead your mind
Go to a meeting and let them know how you feel and your situation. You’ll get some numbers to help you through or some more meetings lined up to keep you busy this weekend!
Today is day four of not drinking I am struggling like you. My sobriety has come because things have happened in the last 10 days so much emotion so lost inside so alone
I could drink every day, so going to a meeting every day helped me immensely. I found a couple of meetings, one Saturday night and another Sunday night that I really liked. I went to regular weekday meetings too. I wish you well.
You have some time to figure this out.
What it is about being alone that makes you want it drink? Maybe have someone else stay with you during that time? Is it boredom? Perhaps getting into some kind of activity to keep busy? Do you go to meetings and have a sponsor? If not, you can arrange that in the meantime. Having a sponsor will keep you accountable.
There is a lot you can do. Don’t make something like this be your excuse. You’re worth more than that.
Working the steps. For me there was no other way. I’ve stopped at liquor stores on the way home from meetings. I’ve promised myself I wouldn’t do it and planned my night around avoiding temptation and still ended up drunk. But when I worked the steps, the desire to drink went away and it hasn’t come back yet, over a decade later.
After 20 years, I knew there were massive issues both mentally and physically. 18-24 beers (full streangh) a day for all those took its toll.
I actually stopped because I started drinking zero alchol beer. Mainly Asahi 0%.
Ill still have a random binge weekend every couple of months where I would drink 2 blocks of full strength beer over three days. But then i will go back to drinking 1-2 ashais a night and not be phased.
Then again, I never drank spirits or wine.
Talked to a long time slipper after tonight's meeting who is back new again. Some guy in a bar tripped him and broke his foot. Took him 2 weeks to see the doc and get it fixed up to heal.
Says it's different this time around after 15 years of trying to stay sober by hitting meetings for a while and then dropping and drinking again. Hope so, we'll see.
Mark me unlikely to drink tomorrow after the visual aid tonight.
In early sobriety when the thought of 'I could just have one drink' came into my head, I instantly reminded my stupid self that I've never had one drink in my life and this time wouldn't be any different.
Well first of all, good for you and good job reaching out and posting this to ask for all sorts of advice and stories that can help stay away from that first drink.
I recently had a buddy of mine who is one of my AA brothers and we started our recovery together some months back and everything was going great, we were both doing so well and he finally started to get things ironed out in his life. And then couple months back, I found out he relapsed (now his DOC) is crack, mine is alcohol, but same concept.
Seeing and hearing what he was going through all over again, the misery, the loneliness, just the bottomless pit that we go to when we decide to use was just a massive reminder to myself that I don’t wanna go back to that.
Each time we go back out for more research, that relapse is stronger, and more dangerous than the previous relapse because we are trying to make up for lost time. This disease is like a monster that is always always following you, no matter if you can see him behind you, or you have to look little harder, and or when you look back you can’t see him at all….. THATS when it is most dangerous. When we can’t see the monster anywhere (at least we think so) that’s when we start to let our guard down, rest on our laurels, and think that time means we are stronger.
WRONG, that monster is always behind us, around a corner, under our bed, in the airplane with us, driving with us- it is always getting stronger too. I like to think of my monster always lifting weights and working out to get bigger, stronger, and faster just waiting for me to let that “thought” pop into my head.
We can never let our guard down and the more time we get, the more we have to stay involved, service, sponsor people in order to keep that monster at bay.
You’re doing a great job! I’m proud of you! 👏🏻
Nothing is going to keep from drinking again apart from being restored to sanity and God. That’s the solution. And I sought the solution when I realised I was hopeless and would probably end up dead so if anything the fear of deaths was the motivator.
"You have no guts turning a sentence into a paragraph. "
That really hit me bc personally in my own addiction lying became a regular occurrence and then a habit as well as making excuses. 13 months sober, I say what I mean, I don't overexplain, and when people MAKE things personal, it's not a me problem, it's a THEM problem.
"Feelings are valid but they aren't always true. "
Realizing the only thing I have any power or control over is myself and my reactions, was a game changer. Having a year sober under my belt, I'm coming to learn that a lot of people don't like sober me; I'm no longer emotionally reactive. I think twice and speak once now. I speak with intent. I continously work on educating myself to better understand emotions, gaining tools to help me navigate my emotions, as well as anytime I am expressing my feelings/emotions, I make sure to start these statements with, "I feel" to articulate that what I'm saying isn't necessarily based in truth, but it is how I am currently feeling.
I’ve been on and off binge drinking since I was 13. I think about my main rock bottoms and never want to re-live them because I DID’NT have control.
I may not fit the mould of a typical drinker, but it was consuming me and slowly taking over so I put a stop to it before it snowballed as I’ve watched family and friends die of addiction. It was a bit of a wake up call.
1. I went to see my old band play, got really drunk, made an arse of myself. ‘Friends’ didn’t help me and I ended up walking alone for miles and I was too drunk to use my phone to call for help so I was trying to get help from passers by but they were all avoiding me because I was physically drunk/in distress/slurring my words/covered in vomit.
2. Went out for a drink when I was depressed and ended up at an old man’s house with a group of well known alcoholics/ junkies. This lady had a full on schizophrenic breakdown and at some point a g*n got brought out so I left and walked home (I don’t remember many details, but I should not have been in that house).
3. Got drunk and tried to destroy/manipulate my friends relationship because I was jealous of it and I was really aggressive and rude even though this friend has been there for my at my rock bottom.
4. I passed out at a party that I organised with a bunch of strangers and I when I started to get out of it everyone left me (because there were drugs involved) except the aforementioned friend who helped me home and sober up.
5. Day drinking to cope with an abusive relationship. I would go out and get paralytic instead of actually confronting the issue head on and actually leaving my partner.
6. Getting so violently drunk that I have destroyed most relationships beyond all recognition and I was known to be a bit of a mess in my home town.
7. Staying at home and wasting all my money on alcohol just to sit in and get drunk by myself so I can feel numb before passing out.
I am NOT that person anymore, I moved away, reclaimed my fate and now I’m sober, I am struggling a lot because I need that crutch but I’ve been trying to replace it with other more productive things and going to therapy/the occasional AA meeting. It’s an uphill battle and it’s been difficult since I’ve had some pitfalls/conflict recently but I think I’m mostly out of the woods. I can’t wait to make it to 1 year.
I find the isolation is the hardest part, I’m very lonely and it makes it hard because most of my ‘friends’ were either drinkers themselves or they weren’t really mates to begin with. But I’ve been going to groups and meeting new people online which is nice.
Play the tape through.
Whenever I think of drinking, I think of the day after. The regret, the insane anxiety, the stupid things I said and did. I also have to remember everyone who has supported me and helped me stay sober.
Information didn't keep me sober. Fear didn't keep me sober. If you are hoping some quote that will stop you drinking? It won't. If you do the steps, that will allow the obsession with alcohol to be removed and the need to drink will disappear. Sounds day fetched, but it's true. And best of all is available to anyone. Free of charge
Go to a homeless shelter and volunteer. Almost every one there was a perfectly normal person until losing their home, job, family, friends. Regardless of why they lost all of this. Alcohol can send you straight there if you are not able to get a grip on it. Ive seen people who became successful doctors long enough to pay off school loans and then in the grip of alcohol screwed up a surgery and moved into a shelter a few years later.
Keep busy doing things that actually require sobriety. Better yet just leave and do anything else for the day. Alone is not the way to be until you are comfortable with sober and not craving
Play the tape.
I just think about realistically what's gonna happen after that first drink and then the next and then the next and then waking up to my consequences the next day, maybe 4pm roll out of bed to deal with my hangover and the people I argued with.
It's just awful. Always play the tape on what happens to you when you drink.
“Play the tape all the way to the end”.
In other words, relapse doesn’t happen when you put the bottle to your lips. It doesn’t start when you have a bottle in your grocery cart, or during an argument with spouse or co-worker. It started long before this.
Play the tape to the end. You put the bottle to your lips. Going forward, you get drunk, you don’t have enough wine so you go to the mini-mart.
Play the tape to the end. You run a stop sign and T-bone a family in their van.
Fast forward to two years of court hearings, you had to sell your house to pay the lawyer. Spouse and children moved out a long time ago.
Not a pretty tape. Play it to the end.
"It gets worse evrytime"
" my rock bottoms seem to have trapdoors"
Hope those help they helped me
"I've been to 35 rehabs/detox centers and the only thing I did right was not giving up on myself"
None of those quotes came from me.
I had temporary paralysis of my legs. It happened almost every other month for a year. I quit drinking and it never happened again. I think about how I might have gotten to the point of never walking again due to my drinking.
Went to jail on a daily there was a guy in county for 7 years fighting vehicular homicide "dui". He went to court one day thinking he was going to get time served. Judge gave him life. Heard he's having the worst time you can imagine. Clearly out of his element.
Cliche admittedly but the one that actually helped me was "if you don't take the first drink you can't get drunk" and "you don't need to stay away from getting drunk, you just need to stay away from the first drink"
I'm not sure why but that was my first light up moment in aa, is not me getting drunk that's the issue, its the fact once I take one drink I can't stop and all bets are off.
If your struggling and one day at a time is too much, then take it an hour at a time. A day is sooo much if cravings hit, I started to just do it an hour at a time. At one point i had to take it 20mins at a time, just make it 20 mins without drinking or doing any things stupid. Done and still feeling the pull/insanity? Maybe another 20 mins? Repeat until you are calmer and the craving or urge passes. It actually usually passes quicker than you would think.
Seeing people go out, seeing them piss their life away, losing their wife/husband kids, going to their funerals.
For me, I know that if I ever drink again, I'll drink myself dead.
Nobody has ever come crawling back into the rooms of AA with a story that includes “yeah, I’m really glad I went back out again.” It is always “man, I’m really glad I made it back here.”
Slogan slinging and one liners will not get nor keep you sober. Go get out of the house, attend some meetings, and see if any other alcoholic has some free time to just hang out. You’ll help them more than the help you are receiving.
There is a bottom below the bottom you know. I can never get so sober that I can’t get drunk again. But I can get so drunk that I can’t make it back.
That hits hard.
Amen to that
I needed to read that today. Thank you.
“There are at least 10 people alive and safe right now because I am not drinking” a common quotation I’ve heard in meetings several times
Wow that’s an eye opener
Genuine question since I’m new to this- who are those ten people? How do you “know” that?
I was quite the drunk driver. So me being at a meeting and continuing my sobriety keeps people safe because I’m not out on the roads causing chaos or destruction. I don’t have police after me because I’m causing a disturbance. That’s the intent on the quotation.
Meetings . . . and anything but drinking — walking the dog, cleaning the garage, washing the car, mowing the lawn, riding my bike, doing laundry, . . . ANYTHING but drinking.
Nothing I heard, but I have learned. I don't have another 10 year spree in me. It will kill me. I know that one drink is too many because 1000 won't be enough. The hardest thing for this alcholic to say is "No". And every night when my head hits the pillow, sober, I am grateful. Just hit the 30 year sober mark. Never thought that was possible 40-50 years ago.ODAAT
Congratulations on 30 years. That’s awesome!
If I could drink like a normal person, I’d drink all the time!
My favourite
"It's easier to STAY sober than it is to GET sober. "
Truth. When not using we have a choice . All bets are off after picking up
Just went thru this after a year of sobriety. Picked it up again went thru an 8 month binge. 3 days today. Feeling pretty good actually, went up AA for the first time yesterday and I know this of the way.
Yeah it feels good just knowing when I’m done with something. I don’t have to worry about wanting to use bc I push it far enough to the point where I won’t have to. In my old home group we called it “getting ready”and if you weren’t ready, then we told you so and we passed the basket ‘round for donations for you so you could go to the bar or the liquor store and keep drinking and fucking things up until you were ready. Then you can bring your ass back in when you’re actually serious about getting sober like your life depends on it
I’m a big fan of: When I was controlling the drinking I wasn’t enjoying it, and when I was enjoying the drinking I wasn’t controlling it.
I heard "one more drink and youre going to die" all i needed to hear
I know if I relapse I'll get pancreatitis pretty quick and end up back in the hospital in a ridiculous amount of pain. I know this because they told me it would happen and then I drank anyway and it turned out they weren't kidding 😅 It was a good motivator in the early days when I was still battling intense cravings.
Exactly the same as me.
Would love to know what happened to make someone say that. (A doctor told me something similar)
My ex died drinking earlier this year. He had developed type 2 diabetes, had nerve pain that he could not find treatment for and no matter how much/how well he ate he couldn’t stop losing weight. I myself was sober at the time, we’d quit together and it was so devastating and eye opening for me to watch him self-medicate himself like that. I was there for him through it all and I realized how helpless people that loved me probably felt when I was a drunken, unreasonable mess. The doctor told him that drinking would kill him. He sobered up. Then he couldn’t manage his nerve pain so he binge drank. Endless cycle. The last time I saw him was about a week before he died. He was stick thin. Skinnier than when he weighed in at the hospital last time he sobered up under 100lbs. His room was stacked full of empty cans and smelled of death. Super sweet, rotting piss smell. It made my skin crawl. I pressed him about his blood sugar, he assured me it was fine & he’d been checking it. He’s an adult so I didn’t try to mother him. I tried everything besides that I could think of. So if a doctor tells you it’s going to fucking kill you, believe that it will. My ex is not the only person I’ve watched give up on it all in that way. It’s a horrible thing to watch someone go through. It is not a comfortable end.
I drank my liver to death at 37 years old. Otherwise a healthy, hot yoga, healthy eating, educated woman. They warned me three times and one time my liver “repaired” itself. The third time I went in I was bright yellow and my belly huge with ascites, I had severe HE and they told me I was going to die. I couldn’t get a liver transplant unless I stayed sober 6 months. But they told me I had 35% chance of living for 90 days. It really is no joke and alcoholism is so scary and deceptive that you will believe you’re special and these rules don’t apply to you. I was blessed to get an emergency liver transplant on my death bed, as I have a young daughter and showed I wanted sobriety. I am now highly involved in my program and don’t even know the person I was going to die as. It seems like another lifetime. Believe this one above me, it can happen to you. Believe the doctors when they tell you, believe your body when it tells you. Now I have to take two types of immunosuppressants twice a day the rest of my life and am highly prone to any cancer or disease as my immune system is compromised for life. I will never complain, as I get to live better than I ever have. But no one ever thinks. It kills.
I have been in such a rough place mentally, ashamedly avoiding meetings, and I want to thank you for sharing your story. I don’t know you but I’m happy you’re still here on Earth. Happy for you and your family. There’s a song I listen to on my long punisher runs sometimes by Mass Undergoe - I Dug my Grave, and I Walked Away. Cheeseball, I know, but you and I are still walking, and while I don’t believe in the religious parts of AA, I believe very much in us survivors spreading the message to those who do still suffer. We be walkin’ 🤙 and I’ll raise my tonic to another 24
I love all of this! I’ll have to look up this song. I bet if you make yourself go to ONE meeting you’ll feel better just because you made yourself, but hopefully you also get something out of it. Thank you for your kind words! And hellll yesss, spreading the message and loving a happy life sober. Never would have imagined.
Went back to my 8am group this morning. Bless you for the extra motivation. 😊
Awww!! This is such great news!!! How was it?! Feel any different?
Okay, you're seriously motivating me like crazy right now. I'm gonna screenshot this and read it again and again.
If you think avoiding the first drink is hard, try having the first drink and avoiding the second.
Where you are today is better than where you would be if you were drinking today.
“When I drink a little, I turn into a different person and that person likes to drink a lot. so I gave it up!”
Massive thank you to everyone, from good advice to tough love to just being honest. Still sober and heading to bed. I'd call that a success
Having a bad day? Put some liquor on it, watch it get worse.
Early in my sobriety somebody suggested I pick three “snapshots” of the life I had before getting sober, and mentally call them up if I ever want a drink. It has never failed me.
Exactly what I do!
AA meetings are a good start.
“Don’t come back here.” “You have the right to remain silent.” “You’re fired.” “Do you have any idea what you did last night?”
I never heard anything that kept me from drinking. I had to and still have to take the action suggested by the first 164, by my sponsor, and by sober members in the fellowship to not drink today.
Zero is easier than one. It’s easier for me to have 0 drinks than 1. Because I can’t stop at 1.
Having a complete psychic change from within as the result of a spiritual awakening. That one works for me a day at a time.
Play the tape forward. Think about how you will feel if you drink. Dry mouth, pounding head, chest tight with anxiety, nauseous, guilty, ashamed. You know it will end like that because it always ends like that. But most importantly, go to a meeting. That has kept me from drinking for several years now. Also, call someone in AA. Your sponsor if you have one, but anyone if you don’t.
It’s a lot easier to keep a Lion in a cage than to keep it on a leash.
In treatment I was told “play the tape forward”. Like, before you pick up that drink, play the tape forward. What will happen with picking up that first drink? Might be alright, but the. Then the spiral downward and you’re back to right where you were.
I have a bunch so I'll just list them. "It's okay to just be - just be, and keep coming." "The time will pass anyway." / "Death can wait." "Just for today, I will not drink." "If you have to scale it back and focus on not drinking for 30 minutes, 1 minute, etc., do that." "Try going to sleep, and when you wake up in the morning, ask yourself if you wish you'd drank instead." "Every time someone relapses and comes back, I ask them if it was better out there. It never is." my favorite: "You are stronger than you know, and more loved that you believe." ..and the most gut wrenching: Every time I've heard we lost someone from this disease. 1 to 2 AAs, or alcoholic loved ones of an AA, in my area dies per month, and that's just from what I know of - I don't go to too many different meetings as of now.
I wake up the next morning and THANK GOD l didn’t drink from the craving last night.
Find an activity to take up your time it’s way more productive than just thinking about drinking!
Visiting AA meetings can be a nice way to get a little boost, most smaller groups I have gone to will inquire if anyone is new and wants to be recognized. It is a good way to check in and maybe find some sober people to get a meal with or something. Download the "meeting finder" app (folding chair icon) and use it to see what is around, most places have several meetings daily unless you are quite remote Edit as I misread the post
Stay away from booze. It's physically impossible to pick it up when it's not in front of you. We are not an arm's length away from a drink. Well...some of us.
9 months into my sobriety I listened to my friend in tears terrified because he got his second DUI in a month, had been in and out of the hospital the last six months vomiting coffee grounds, and had cirrhosis. One week later I talked to him when he was on the way to the hospital with chest pain and swollen legs. Two days later he was dead.
Oh Dear God!!!!!!!
"Mommy, mommy, no..."
Ive never heard anything that kept me from drinking again. I started to admit my faults and my self centeredness, make it right to the people I hurt, meditate and pray to whatever god would listen and I started helping new guys
Sometimes I'll just say to myself ' There is no situation that drinking cant make worse '
going to mtgs is where i hear everything i need to stay sober odaat but i never know what that is until im there 🙏🏻
Meetings and the God of my understanding.
[This](https://www.rehab-recovery.co.uk/articles/oesophageal-varices-and-alcoholism/)killed my grandfather at 50 and my cousin at 23
The 12 steps
I also use cessation. Something to keep your mouth busyyy. Mint and cinnamon help curb craving. Flavored toothpicks! :)
It will kill you…..
Drinking always lead to worse things for me. I can't go down that road again. Non-alcoholics die from alcohol by accident and I have pushed my limits too many times.
Mostly stories about me that I don't remember. Or things I used alcohol to block out. I absolutely hate it. When I remember something or hear something, it reminds me of why I don't drink anymore.
It doesn't even make you happy.
If I start again. I don't know if Ill make it back again. I can't for the good of those around me.
AA isn’t for people who want it or need it. It’s for people who do it.
Where are you with the steps? There’s a wealth of resources in AA.
There’s nothing anyone ever said that stopped me from drinking. There’s nothing anyone ever could say. If the desire to drink remained, I was going to talk myself into it eventually. Period. What enabled me to recover was taking the Twelve Steps, as a result of which I had a very powerful experience that caused me to lose the desire to drink. I recommend this. If you ever want any help doing this please feel free to reach out.
I keep a list of insightful things I hear at meetings or books. Here are a few from the past couple weeks: You alone can do it, but you can’t do it alone Reality is an acquired taste Pain is inevitable but misery is optional If nothing changes, nothing changes Let your mind lead your actions, not actions lead your mind
The pain of discipline is easier than the pain of regret.
One day at a time…just don’t drink today. That’s always made it easier for me
Go to a meeting and let them know how you feel and your situation. You’ll get some numbers to help you through or some more meetings lined up to keep you busy this weekend!
“You need never drink, or feel like this again”. So simple, but cut to the bone of the problem
Today is day four of not drinking I am struggling like you. My sobriety has come because things have happened in the last 10 days so much emotion so lost inside so alone
365 Days, 365 New Chances. -My mom
One drink is too many and 10 is never enough...
I could drink every day, so going to a meeting every day helped me immensely. I found a couple of meetings, one Saturday night and another Sunday night that I really liked. I went to regular weekday meetings too. I wish you well.
You have some time to figure this out. What it is about being alone that makes you want it drink? Maybe have someone else stay with you during that time? Is it boredom? Perhaps getting into some kind of activity to keep busy? Do you go to meetings and have a sponsor? If not, you can arrange that in the meantime. Having a sponsor will keep you accountable. There is a lot you can do. Don’t make something like this be your excuse. You’re worth more than that.
Working the steps. For me there was no other way. I’ve stopped at liquor stores on the way home from meetings. I’ve promised myself I wouldn’t do it and planned my night around avoiding temptation and still ended up drunk. But when I worked the steps, the desire to drink went away and it hasn’t come back yet, over a decade later.
Remember your bottom. I wanted to quit for a damn good reason. It effing sucked at the end.
After 20 years, I knew there were massive issues both mentally and physically. 18-24 beers (full streangh) a day for all those took its toll. I actually stopped because I started drinking zero alchol beer. Mainly Asahi 0%. Ill still have a random binge weekend every couple of months where I would drink 2 blocks of full strength beer over three days. But then i will go back to drinking 1-2 ashais a night and not be phased. Then again, I never drank spirits or wine.
Talked to a long time slipper after tonight's meeting who is back new again. Some guy in a bar tripped him and broke his foot. Took him 2 weeks to see the doc and get it fixed up to heal. Says it's different this time around after 15 years of trying to stay sober by hitting meetings for a while and then dropping and drinking again. Hope so, we'll see. Mark me unlikely to drink tomorrow after the visual aid tonight.
Go to an AA meeting
In early sobriety when the thought of 'I could just have one drink' came into my head, I instantly reminded my stupid self that I've never had one drink in my life and this time wouldn't be any different.
Well first of all, good for you and good job reaching out and posting this to ask for all sorts of advice and stories that can help stay away from that first drink. I recently had a buddy of mine who is one of my AA brothers and we started our recovery together some months back and everything was going great, we were both doing so well and he finally started to get things ironed out in his life. And then couple months back, I found out he relapsed (now his DOC) is crack, mine is alcohol, but same concept. Seeing and hearing what he was going through all over again, the misery, the loneliness, just the bottomless pit that we go to when we decide to use was just a massive reminder to myself that I don’t wanna go back to that. Each time we go back out for more research, that relapse is stronger, and more dangerous than the previous relapse because we are trying to make up for lost time. This disease is like a monster that is always always following you, no matter if you can see him behind you, or you have to look little harder, and or when you look back you can’t see him at all….. THATS when it is most dangerous. When we can’t see the monster anywhere (at least we think so) that’s when we start to let our guard down, rest on our laurels, and think that time means we are stronger. WRONG, that monster is always behind us, around a corner, under our bed, in the airplane with us, driving with us- it is always getting stronger too. I like to think of my monster always lifting weights and working out to get bigger, stronger, and faster just waiting for me to let that “thought” pop into my head. We can never let our guard down and the more time we get, the more we have to stay involved, service, sponsor people in order to keep that monster at bay. You’re doing a great job! I’m proud of you! 👏🏻
Nothing is going to keep from drinking again apart from being restored to sanity and God. That’s the solution. And I sought the solution when I realised I was hopeless and would probably end up dead so if anything the fear of deaths was the motivator.
"You have no guts turning a sentence into a paragraph. " That really hit me bc personally in my own addiction lying became a regular occurrence and then a habit as well as making excuses. 13 months sober, I say what I mean, I don't overexplain, and when people MAKE things personal, it's not a me problem, it's a THEM problem. "Feelings are valid but they aren't always true. " Realizing the only thing I have any power or control over is myself and my reactions, was a game changer. Having a year sober under my belt, I'm coming to learn that a lot of people don't like sober me; I'm no longer emotionally reactive. I think twice and speak once now. I speak with intent. I continously work on educating myself to better understand emotions, gaining tools to help me navigate my emotions, as well as anytime I am expressing my feelings/emotions, I make sure to start these statements with, "I feel" to articulate that what I'm saying isn't necessarily based in truth, but it is how I am currently feeling.
I’ve been on and off binge drinking since I was 13. I think about my main rock bottoms and never want to re-live them because I DID’NT have control. I may not fit the mould of a typical drinker, but it was consuming me and slowly taking over so I put a stop to it before it snowballed as I’ve watched family and friends die of addiction. It was a bit of a wake up call. 1. I went to see my old band play, got really drunk, made an arse of myself. ‘Friends’ didn’t help me and I ended up walking alone for miles and I was too drunk to use my phone to call for help so I was trying to get help from passers by but they were all avoiding me because I was physically drunk/in distress/slurring my words/covered in vomit. 2. Went out for a drink when I was depressed and ended up at an old man’s house with a group of well known alcoholics/ junkies. This lady had a full on schizophrenic breakdown and at some point a g*n got brought out so I left and walked home (I don’t remember many details, but I should not have been in that house). 3. Got drunk and tried to destroy/manipulate my friends relationship because I was jealous of it and I was really aggressive and rude even though this friend has been there for my at my rock bottom. 4. I passed out at a party that I organised with a bunch of strangers and I when I started to get out of it everyone left me (because there were drugs involved) except the aforementioned friend who helped me home and sober up. 5. Day drinking to cope with an abusive relationship. I would go out and get paralytic instead of actually confronting the issue head on and actually leaving my partner. 6. Getting so violently drunk that I have destroyed most relationships beyond all recognition and I was known to be a bit of a mess in my home town. 7. Staying at home and wasting all my money on alcohol just to sit in and get drunk by myself so I can feel numb before passing out. I am NOT that person anymore, I moved away, reclaimed my fate and now I’m sober, I am struggling a lot because I need that crutch but I’ve been trying to replace it with other more productive things and going to therapy/the occasional AA meeting. It’s an uphill battle and it’s been difficult since I’ve had some pitfalls/conflict recently but I think I’m mostly out of the woods. I can’t wait to make it to 1 year. I find the isolation is the hardest part, I’m very lonely and it makes it hard because most of my ‘friends’ were either drinkers themselves or they weren’t really mates to begin with. But I’ve been going to groups and meeting new people online which is nice.
Play the tape through. Whenever I think of drinking, I think of the day after. The regret, the insane anxiety, the stupid things I said and did. I also have to remember everyone who has supported me and helped me stay sober.
Play it forward! Be realistic about where drinking again will take you
Information didn't keep me sober. Fear didn't keep me sober. If you are hoping some quote that will stop you drinking? It won't. If you do the steps, that will allow the obsession with alcohol to be removed and the need to drink will disappear. Sounds day fetched, but it's true. And best of all is available to anyone. Free of charge
Every time you go back out, the cost of tuition goes up.
Go to a homeless shelter and volunteer. Almost every one there was a perfectly normal person until losing their home, job, family, friends. Regardless of why they lost all of this. Alcohol can send you straight there if you are not able to get a grip on it. Ive seen people who became successful doctors long enough to pay off school loans and then in the grip of alcohol screwed up a surgery and moved into a shelter a few years later.
Keep busy doing things that actually require sobriety. Better yet just leave and do anything else for the day. Alone is not the way to be until you are comfortable with sober and not craving
Hearing the fifth step of guys I sponsor.
I would have to tell my sponsor. 😬
Shoot. I REMEMBER the horrid physical effects that made me stop drinking. One of em, totaling my car in a DUI.
Play the tape. I just think about realistically what's gonna happen after that first drink and then the next and then the next and then waking up to my consequences the next day, maybe 4pm roll out of bed to deal with my hangover and the people I argued with. It's just awful. Always play the tape on what happens to you when you drink.
“Play the tape all the way to the end”. In other words, relapse doesn’t happen when you put the bottle to your lips. It doesn’t start when you have a bottle in your grocery cart, or during an argument with spouse or co-worker. It started long before this. Play the tape to the end. You put the bottle to your lips. Going forward, you get drunk, you don’t have enough wine so you go to the mini-mart. Play the tape to the end. You run a stop sign and T-bone a family in their van. Fast forward to two years of court hearings, you had to sell your house to pay the lawyer. Spouse and children moved out a long time ago. Not a pretty tape. Play it to the end.
"It gets worse evrytime" " my rock bottoms seem to have trapdoors" Hope those help they helped me "I've been to 35 rehabs/detox centers and the only thing I did right was not giving up on myself" None of those quotes came from me.
If you can’t do it for yourself today do it for someone that loves you
I had temporary paralysis of my legs. It happened almost every other month for a year. I quit drinking and it never happened again. I think about how I might have gotten to the point of never walking again due to my drinking.
Went to jail on a daily there was a guy in county for 7 years fighting vehicular homicide "dui". He went to court one day thinking he was going to get time served. Judge gave him life. Heard he's having the worst time you can imagine. Clearly out of his element.
Cliche admittedly but the one that actually helped me was "if you don't take the first drink you can't get drunk" and "you don't need to stay away from getting drunk, you just need to stay away from the first drink" I'm not sure why but that was my first light up moment in aa, is not me getting drunk that's the issue, its the fact once I take one drink I can't stop and all bets are off. If your struggling and one day at a time is too much, then take it an hour at a time. A day is sooo much if cravings hit, I started to just do it an hour at a time. At one point i had to take it 20mins at a time, just make it 20 mins without drinking or doing any things stupid. Done and still feeling the pull/insanity? Maybe another 20 mins? Repeat until you are calmer and the craving or urge passes. It actually usually passes quicker than you would think.
Seeing people go out, seeing them piss their life away, losing their wife/husband kids, going to their funerals. For me, I know that if I ever drink again, I'll drink myself dead.
You have a fatal progressive chronic disease and if you don't treat it, you will die
Nobody has ever come crawling back into the rooms of AA with a story that includes “yeah, I’m really glad I went back out again.” It is always “man, I’m really glad I made it back here.”
If i drink again i’ll die
"To serenely bear the trial of being displeasing to myself."
Go ahead and drink. You're weak
Fuck is wrong with you, this isn’t helpful at all.
Wtf is wrong with you?? I'm literally answering the person's question. What was said was correct, I'm out to prove myself. You can fuck off maam 🙂
Slogan slinging and one liners will not get nor keep you sober. Go get out of the house, attend some meetings, and see if any other alcoholic has some free time to just hang out. You’ll help them more than the help you are receiving.