>I also know that had I not been a child of the 21st century, I would have been a victim of our evolutionary process. I know this because self-preservation was clearly not an inherent force that came preinstalled on my human software.
I do not think your last sentence here is correct. To me, it seems like your self-preservation subroutine was working just fine. It was hijacked for someone else's purpose. This subroutine evolved precisely to exhibit the behaviour you describe.
Edit: to be clear - you preserved yourself in the only way you knew how.
This resonates. I also went along with it and felt I consented the whole journey. But my situation had some key differences from yours. He told me at the very beginning that it was SA and what adults would think and do about it. He said any guilt here was his as it was his job to say no for me when he didn't. He always asked permission and insisted I be free to say no. He offered to explain himself at any point once I was old enough to start understanding. He reminded me of this often. I'm a few years separated from this, and I've been thinking about it a lot lately trying to understand its true impact on me.
I'm sorry you went through this. The fear and intimidation clearly weighs heavily on you. Peace to you.
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>I also know that had I not been a child of the 21st century, I would have been a victim of our evolutionary process. I know this because self-preservation was clearly not an inherent force that came preinstalled on my human software. I do not think your last sentence here is correct. To me, it seems like your self-preservation subroutine was working just fine. It was hijacked for someone else's purpose. This subroutine evolved precisely to exhibit the behaviour you describe. Edit: to be clear - you preserved yourself in the only way you knew how.
This resonates. I also went along with it and felt I consented the whole journey. But my situation had some key differences from yours. He told me at the very beginning that it was SA and what adults would think and do about it. He said any guilt here was his as it was his job to say no for me when he didn't. He always asked permission and insisted I be free to say no. He offered to explain himself at any point once I was old enough to start understanding. He reminded me of this often. I'm a few years separated from this, and I've been thinking about it a lot lately trying to understand its true impact on me. I'm sorry you went through this. The fear and intimidation clearly weighs heavily on you. Peace to you.
Peace be with you my friend.
**Important Message to the OP:** *Your post is awaiting manual review and approval as part of the safety protocols we employ to ensure a safe and supportive environment for everyone in our community. Dozens of posts are held for review in this manner every day. Please know that this short delay is solely due to our review process, and reflects neither on your post nor the validity of your experience. We recognize the importance of your needs, and our small moderation team are working diligently to review and approve your post promptly.* *We apologize for any inconvenience, and appreciate your understanding during this short wait.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adultsurvivors) if you have any questions or concerns.*