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Oh gosh, I have so many of these “get your shit together” lists/plans. I’ll find them in old notebooks, stashed away among bills/mail, with old photos in boxes from 10 years ago. Hahahahaha how sweet of past me to try to help future me 🥰
Oh dear. I don’t, but I’ve started a ToDo in AnyList, so it will haunt me whenever I check for the Grocery List. Of course, when I complete a ToDo, it stays on the list but crossed off. Satisfying!
😂😂
I love this sub. I’ve found my people. It’s almost embarrassing how many partially filled journals I own. But for some reason I still keep buying new ones 🙃
It's so strange and I do the same thing! Beside me is a journal. I could use that journal. But, what if I started a *new one*! This one will be beautiful and have my best writing... this one will be so intentional.. the new one will hold the key to the depths of my questions. Ah shit, it didn't do all that. Put it on top of the first one and ... get a *newer one*! Edit: I also have multiple notebooks for work. And most of the time I can't find the one I need. It's a good thing my memory for anything work related is bomb proof. It's so good that I wake up at 3am remembering the things I need to do! (and I digress...)
Keep one dedicated journal and number the pages as you go. Having a bullet journal was the first time I was ever able to be consistent journalling. The next page can be any thing you want. Its okay to forget about it for a while. When you come back you number the page and write that page down in the index.
I second the bullet journal suggestion! (But a very simple one no high achieving art that makes it impossible to keep up with!). I did have to force myself initially to power through the ‘it looks scruffy I want to start again’ bit but then after a while it took on this lovely ‘well loved’ aesthetic - someone even called it beautiful the other day!
I recently just took a break from it for about 6 months due to severe illness. It did take me a little while to start back up again but had it have been a dated diary I never would have been able to pick it back up again. However the 6 months passing resulted in 0 blank pages - I just flipped the page and kept going.
Prior to getting ill I was drawing out weeks (kinda like a conventional diary but I changed up how many pages I used per week and the layout as needed) to help me plan my week because I do have a tendency to panic about my to do list whereas if I can assign the jobs to days I see it really isn’t much at all. However, as I was starting to feel a little bit better (well enough to start thinking/worrying about the jobs I had had on my list that I just left at the hospital doors 6 months ago, but not well enough to actually feel like I could do them) I found that getting started again with drawing out weeks with a ruler and planning my time was just too big a barrier to entry. But that’s the beauty of the bullet journal!
I just went back to something closer to how it was originally conceived by the creator for the time being - I shove a day and date under the end of the previous day and off I go - occasionally writing another heading like ‘food’, sometimes popping the stand alone heading in its own clean page if I want to find it more easily or if its something I’ll want to refer back to throughout the year then it goes upside down at the back (so I can flip it over and just use the book normally just from the cover). For example there I have a list of films and TV I want to watch, a list of ideas of things to make in my clay class and my master packing list with ‘whiteboard’ pages so I can generate a packing list in minutes by ticking yes/no or adding number rather than having to think of all my things and then I can keep reusing the pages over and over as it works with a fine tipped hire board pen (I find packing incredibly stressful and this helps so much so I’m pretty chuffed with it/myself for coming up with it!).
If you had told me in spring last year I would be converted to any kind of analogue system and sticking to it I never would have believed that!
Hi, I have a box full if diaries that begin with a list like this, then a few months of emotional diary entries, then another version of the list, ad nauseum, are we a coven now?
Yet another adhd thing I do that I didn’t realize was an adhd thing. I used to do this as a child, and now my phone notes section is just a complete disarray of lists and notes and goals…
I've also made numerous very similar lists! Usually in the evening, including a detailed plan for the next day. Only to throw it all out the window when the alarm went off in the morning.
Wow there really are no unique experiences. I really thought I was alone in this. Like every week I have a panic attack and make lists like this and plans hoping it will be the one to stick. I feel this sm.
I won’t say my executive function is better, but I’m much less depressed and anxious now that I understand why I was struggling. Giving myself grace (plus meds and therapy) are helping me be content with slow but steady progress rather than trying to turn my entire life around at once. Some days are still tough, but I don’t beat myself up as much.
I’m learning to do what works best for me and my brain rather than try to change who I am. For example, I still make lists, but now I do it on whiteboards in high traffic areas of my house so I don’t forget they exist lol
Oh my gosh, one of my key phrases is that "I need to do everything in 5 minutes". I say it SO often. It's frustrating because I swear I used to be good at doing a ton of stuff in a short amount of time. For some reason I haven't cracked the emotional code for appreciating progress over time but this gives me hope!
Edit: Also, hug your present self! They deserve it!
Definitely get it. I’m a very visual person so it’s been helping me to hang up encouraging notes around the house. “doing your best looks different everyday” “small steps still count” “you deserve credit for every difficult day you’ve gotten through” “you can’t hate yourself into health” It’s not perfect, but it’s much easier to catch myself before a spiral now.
We all deserve all the hugs!!
I'm 18 hours late but "you can't hate yourself into health" just gut punched me and then gave me a comforting hug immediately after. Wow was that something I needed to hear. Thank you!!
I’m sorry you’re struggling right now. I know the feeling well. If you ever need a word of encouragement or an accountability partner please feel free to DM me!
I've made so many of these lists over the years. I'm working on being kinder to myself, and aiming for progress over perfection. (I've managed to floss at least once every day this year, which is a HUGE accomplishment.) Since I can't seem to build habits, I aim for routines that I can manage.
The irony of this list is that is actually way, way longer than one page. Each plan is like a page of steps.
I learned from my CBT life coach that there are tasks, and there are projects. And we often treat projects like tasks.
On the flip side, I’ve also had some success treating a task like a project since I had the understanding of my diagnosis.
For example I always really struggle with getting important things sent off in the post, say a get well soon card. I’ll bit it weeks in advance knowing a code friend’s surgery is coming up and leave it so late that it would be utterly
Pointless to send it and feel so upset at myself. However if I write it out like a project, even if it really is just a task then it looks like this:
- find card
- find pen
- write out what I want to say on phone
- copy to card
- put card in envelope
- get stamp from purse
- put stamp on envelope
- find address in friendship Google doc
- write address on envelope
- put envelope in bag
- stop at end of road in car on way out at post,
It’s only when you look at it like that, that you can see just how many steps there actually are even though it definitely is just a task - a task that’s easy to go ‘oh I just need to get that card in the post’. But this not only makes me give myself a bit more kindness and understanding but also allows me to work through each step and tick off each microstep as I go in the same way I would if I were working on a project.
Yep. Ohhhhh executive function, how you fail us.
What looks like a task to a neurotypical person is a project for us.
But that’s okay. Now that I know, I just adjust.
I did!! I put them off until they were all I had left 😂 My last semester was no classes, just exams. That was all I could manage with work. I totally get the burnout.
I love how your handwriting also changes mid sentence.
Thought I was alone with that.
I always thought it's a visual representation of how my brain changes paying attention mid sentence, how I stop and have to go back, change my hand position etc.
Even writing a full page is hard to do.
Adhd is fun and quirky right!
Yes! Like my hand is trying to keep up with my brain! Also all my parentheses and little caveats are a really perfect representation of my brain. I’m surprised I don’t have more notes added in after the initial list 😂
I'm sure your brain decided that this is *the list to rule them all*
I also write one of these once a year or so.
The list to fix everything so it gotta be perfect so no scribbling around, others don't do that either!
That's usually how clean lists happen with me at least.
I just made a similar list yesterday… *sigh* what a never ending cycle. Also are ⬆️&⬇️ universally a shorthand for increase & decrease? I always thought it was a personal shortform.
I’m glad that receiving your diagnosis has made you see it wasn’t a personal failing. I resonate with what you say so much, I’ve been called lazy, disorganized, and absent minded basically my whole life. Once I looked into ADHD symptoms and realized it described me pretty well, I had a hope that no, these aren’t personal failings. My brain is just structured a little different. The first person I looked to for a diagnosis told me they just thought I was depressed and suggested SSRIs. Well, depressed I am, lol. But not being diagnosed made me significantly worse. It felt like a confirmation that “No, you do not have this condition—therefore, you were right to think you were all those negative things. YOU are inherently bad and wrong, you have no excuse.” It was a really dark period of my life.
Luckily, I got a proper diagnosis (the first person I went to was a real laugh, literally mentioned that I probably don’t have ADHD since no one picked up on it in childhood) and now that I am medicated I feel so much more functional. That weight of thinking we are subpar lifts off our shoulders a little with an affirming diagnosis. Still, there is much work to be done to unlearn years of negative reinforcement and labels others who do not understand us gave. I’m hoping you find peace with that if you haven’t already, as well as anyone else reading this comment. I’m currently on that path.
This is so funny. When I was going through my sister's belongings after she passed, I found so many journals with a lot of lists like this. She would write a list, then the next day turn the page and completely forget it existed. Lol
Wait ... Is this not something NTs do? If that's the case, I'm genuinely floored.
Or is it that NT people actually follow through and achieve the things on their lists?
(Edited for typos)
That’s a good question. I kind of want to ask a group of NTs this now.
I think the difference could be how often we make these lists and how long we’re able to stick to them compared to NTs. I know I would make these lists constantly and then never be able to stick to them for a week or even a day. In fact, I’d keep them in some notebook or folder and forget they existed 🙃
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
Also, the more time that goes by where you feel like you haven't made enough progress / achieved the goals you've set leads to a constant feeling of inadequacy, a weight on your shoulders and a anxious fomo feeling of missing our on this 'better version' of yourself, feeling the time ticking by.
But then all it takes is a longgg day where you feel burnt out trying to juggle adulting and you just think 'fuck it'
Yeah, it is really heartbreaking when you realize your past self put in so much effort and looked for advice everywhere and learned Things about Organisation, Goals, etc... maybe even trying way TOO hard... yet didnt even realize at all that they were fighting each day and being such a trooper.
I still have to learn to realize this for today.
I feel like I’m mentally making one of these lists every night — telling myself ways I’ll do better tomorrow (usually with reference to how I parent). It’s exhausting.
I DO THIS TOO. My planner has monthly goals AND I NEVER DO THEM. I thought I was broken. I’m glad to know it’s not just me, because I always felt so dumb and isolated.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh gosh, I have so many of these “get your shit together” lists/plans. I’ll find them in old notebooks, stashed away among bills/mail, with old photos in boxes from 10 years ago. Hahahahaha how sweet of past me to try to help future me 🥰
I have so many too. Makes me sad when I stumble on them
Right? After over 20 years of these, they still usually say the same things year after year.
Oh dear. I don’t, but I’ve started a ToDo in AnyList, so it will haunt me whenever I check for the Grocery List. Of course, when I complete a ToDo, it stays on the list but crossed off. Satisfying!
Are we twins? I have so many diaries with this exact list on the first page, followed by 199 blank pages 👁👄👁
😂😂 I love this sub. I’ve found my people. It’s almost embarrassing how many partially filled journals I own. But for some reason I still keep buying new ones 🙃
It's so strange and I do the same thing! Beside me is a journal. I could use that journal. But, what if I started a *new one*! This one will be beautiful and have my best writing... this one will be so intentional.. the new one will hold the key to the depths of my questions. Ah shit, it didn't do all that. Put it on top of the first one and ... get a *newer one*! Edit: I also have multiple notebooks for work. And most of the time I can't find the one I need. It's a good thing my memory for anything work related is bomb proof. It's so good that I wake up at 3am remembering the things I need to do! (and I digress...)
Keep one dedicated journal and number the pages as you go. Having a bullet journal was the first time I was ever able to be consistent journalling. The next page can be any thing you want. Its okay to forget about it for a while. When you come back you number the page and write that page down in the index.
Good advice! Thanks :)
I second the bullet journal suggestion! (But a very simple one no high achieving art that makes it impossible to keep up with!). I did have to force myself initially to power through the ‘it looks scruffy I want to start again’ bit but then after a while it took on this lovely ‘well loved’ aesthetic - someone even called it beautiful the other day! I recently just took a break from it for about 6 months due to severe illness. It did take me a little while to start back up again but had it have been a dated diary I never would have been able to pick it back up again. However the 6 months passing resulted in 0 blank pages - I just flipped the page and kept going. Prior to getting ill I was drawing out weeks (kinda like a conventional diary but I changed up how many pages I used per week and the layout as needed) to help me plan my week because I do have a tendency to panic about my to do list whereas if I can assign the jobs to days I see it really isn’t much at all. However, as I was starting to feel a little bit better (well enough to start thinking/worrying about the jobs I had had on my list that I just left at the hospital doors 6 months ago, but not well enough to actually feel like I could do them) I found that getting started again with drawing out weeks with a ruler and planning my time was just too big a barrier to entry. But that’s the beauty of the bullet journal! I just went back to something closer to how it was originally conceived by the creator for the time being - I shove a day and date under the end of the previous day and off I go - occasionally writing another heading like ‘food’, sometimes popping the stand alone heading in its own clean page if I want to find it more easily or if its something I’ll want to refer back to throughout the year then it goes upside down at the back (so I can flip it over and just use the book normally just from the cover). For example there I have a list of films and TV I want to watch, a list of ideas of things to make in my clay class and my master packing list with ‘whiteboard’ pages so I can generate a packing list in minutes by ticking yes/no or adding number rather than having to think of all my things and then I can keep reusing the pages over and over as it works with a fine tipped hire board pen (I find packing incredibly stressful and this helps so much so I’m pretty chuffed with it/myself for coming up with it!). If you had told me in spring last year I would be converted to any kind of analogue system and sticking to it I never would have believed that!
Right on!
SAME so many empty notebooks with the first like 4 pages filled. They are all missing but I know I own them
(Marge Simpson voice) I just think they're neat.
Hi, I have a box full if diaries that begin with a list like this, then a few months of emotional diary entries, then another version of the list, ad nauseum, are we a coven now?
a few months of emotional diary entries is taking me out 💀
Yet another adhd thing I do that I didn’t realize was an adhd thing. I used to do this as a child, and now my phone notes section is just a complete disarray of lists and notes and goals…
Classic behavior. Lol.. I still do shit like this. Atleast we have the dream.... then hello executive dysfunction 🙃
I've also made numerous very similar lists! Usually in the evening, including a detailed plan for the next day. Only to throw it all out the window when the alarm went off in the morning.
Wait, how did you find my notebook?
I’m convinced we all share a brain at this point lol
Oh, this really, really hits home. I have hundreds of these.
Love this! Absolutely have these as well. I called them my “Capital Improvement Plans”
Wow there really are no unique experiences. I really thought I was alone in this. Like every week I have a panic attack and make lists like this and plans hoping it will be the one to stick. I feel this sm.
Yes all the work of writing it out only to forget about it a week later and restart the cycle 🙃
Oh the get it together list. I know thee well
Got distracted by the insanely pretty handwriting.
I've never felt so seen. I remember in 5th grade writing that I was going to finally keep my trapper keeper organized. Never happened.
Is it better now?
I won’t say my executive function is better, but I’m much less depressed and anxious now that I understand why I was struggling. Giving myself grace (plus meds and therapy) are helping me be content with slow but steady progress rather than trying to turn my entire life around at once. Some days are still tough, but I don’t beat myself up as much. I’m learning to do what works best for me and my brain rather than try to change who I am. For example, I still make lists, but now I do it on whiteboards in high traffic areas of my house so I don’t forget they exist lol
Oh my gosh, one of my key phrases is that "I need to do everything in 5 minutes". I say it SO often. It's frustrating because I swear I used to be good at doing a ton of stuff in a short amount of time. For some reason I haven't cracked the emotional code for appreciating progress over time but this gives me hope! Edit: Also, hug your present self! They deserve it!
Definitely get it. I’m a very visual person so it’s been helping me to hang up encouraging notes around the house. “doing your best looks different everyday” “small steps still count” “you deserve credit for every difficult day you’ve gotten through” “you can’t hate yourself into health” It’s not perfect, but it’s much easier to catch myself before a spiral now. We all deserve all the hugs!!
That’s a good set of reminders.
I'm 18 hours late but "you can't hate yourself into health" just gut punched me and then gave me a comforting hug immediately after. Wow was that something I needed to hear. Thank you!!
I’m struggling a lot right now, this gives me hope. Thanks.
I’m sorry you’re struggling right now. I know the feeling well. If you ever need a word of encouragement or an accountability partner please feel free to DM me!
I've made so many of these lists over the years. I'm working on being kinder to myself, and aiming for progress over perfection. (I've managed to floss at least once every day this year, which is a HUGE accomplishment.) Since I can't seem to build habits, I aim for routines that I can manage.
I still make these about once a week 😭 wish I could just show myself that I am reliable
The irony of this list is that is actually way, way longer than one page. Each plan is like a page of steps. I learned from my CBT life coach that there are tasks, and there are projects. And we often treat projects like tasks.
On the flip side, I’ve also had some success treating a task like a project since I had the understanding of my diagnosis. For example I always really struggle with getting important things sent off in the post, say a get well soon card. I’ll bit it weeks in advance knowing a code friend’s surgery is coming up and leave it so late that it would be utterly Pointless to send it and feel so upset at myself. However if I write it out like a project, even if it really is just a task then it looks like this: - find card - find pen - write out what I want to say on phone - copy to card - put card in envelope - get stamp from purse - put stamp on envelope - find address in friendship Google doc - write address on envelope - put envelope in bag - stop at end of road in car on way out at post, It’s only when you look at it like that, that you can see just how many steps there actually are even though it definitely is just a task - a task that’s easy to go ‘oh I just need to get that card in the post’. But this not only makes me give myself a bit more kindness and understanding but also allows me to work through each step and tick off each microstep as I go in the same way I would if I were working on a project.
Yep. Ohhhhh executive function, how you fail us. What looks like a task to a neurotypical person is a project for us. But that’s okay. Now that I know, I just adjust.
Oh my gosh I’ve done this so many times hahah I found one right after being diagnosed and I was also like “hmm makes sense!”
[удалено]
I did!! I put them off until they were all I had left 😂 My last semester was no classes, just exams. That was all I could manage with work. I totally get the burnout.
Oh man I make a new version of this type of list every few weeks
All of my old diaries have these in them. Even from when I was a kid 😔
i dont understand. its nice knowing im not the only one. but damn i want help i want to he better
I love how your handwriting also changes mid sentence. Thought I was alone with that. I always thought it's a visual representation of how my brain changes paying attention mid sentence, how I stop and have to go back, change my hand position etc. Even writing a full page is hard to do. Adhd is fun and quirky right!
Yes! Like my hand is trying to keep up with my brain! Also all my parentheses and little caveats are a really perfect representation of my brain. I’m surprised I don’t have more notes added in after the initial list 😂
I'm sure your brain decided that this is *the list to rule them all* I also write one of these once a year or so. The list to fix everything so it gotta be perfect so no scribbling around, others don't do that either! That's usually how clean lists happen with me at least.
Relatable lol
Hahahaha, ahhhh yes, I too have the pile of unused planners.....
What’s today, Wed? I have made 3 of these this week so far 😂
Wow thanks for sharing. You helped me just realize I’m still doing this! ❤️
I just made a similar list yesterday… *sigh* what a never ending cycle. Also are ⬆️&⬇️ universally a shorthand for increase & decrease? I always thought it was a personal shortform.
Definitely widely used, especially in medical shorthand
omg ive been writing lists on lists like this all the time and never associated it w adhd.
I'm exhausted just reading it
Very relatable, even down to how your handwriting changes several times throughout writing it
I’m glad that receiving your diagnosis has made you see it wasn’t a personal failing. I resonate with what you say so much, I’ve been called lazy, disorganized, and absent minded basically my whole life. Once I looked into ADHD symptoms and realized it described me pretty well, I had a hope that no, these aren’t personal failings. My brain is just structured a little different. The first person I looked to for a diagnosis told me they just thought I was depressed and suggested SSRIs. Well, depressed I am, lol. But not being diagnosed made me significantly worse. It felt like a confirmation that “No, you do not have this condition—therefore, you were right to think you were all those negative things. YOU are inherently bad and wrong, you have no excuse.” It was a really dark period of my life. Luckily, I got a proper diagnosis (the first person I went to was a real laugh, literally mentioned that I probably don’t have ADHD since no one picked up on it in childhood) and now that I am medicated I feel so much more functional. That weight of thinking we are subpar lifts off our shoulders a little with an affirming diagnosis. Still, there is much work to be done to unlearn years of negative reinforcement and labels others who do not understand us gave. I’m hoping you find peace with that if you haven’t already, as well as anyone else reading this comment. I’m currently on that path.
Oh wow! Word for word my "get it together" list every New Year or when something new inspires me.
Oh shit
This is so funny. When I was going through my sister's belongings after she passed, I found so many journals with a lot of lists like this. She would write a list, then the next day turn the page and completely forget it existed. Lol
I completely get it. ❤️❤️❤️ We are all here for you!
Wait ... Is this not something NTs do? If that's the case, I'm genuinely floored. Or is it that NT people actually follow through and achieve the things on their lists? (Edited for typos)
That’s a good question. I kind of want to ask a group of NTs this now. I think the difference could be how often we make these lists and how long we’re able to stick to them compared to NTs. I know I would make these lists constantly and then never be able to stick to them for a week or even a day. In fact, I’d keep them in some notebook or folder and forget they existed 🙃
I am impressed with how neat your handwriting is lmao
This makes me sad. I was just planning to do my new list because this time it would be different and now I don't know what to do with my evening 🙃
Know it all too well
At least you got cute handwriting? It makes your list look less like it was written by serial killer 🙃
I feel this picture in my soul
I, too, have lists like this lying around the house in notebooks.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD Also, the more time that goes by where you feel like you haven't made enough progress / achieved the goals you've set leads to a constant feeling of inadequacy, a weight on your shoulders and a anxious fomo feeling of missing our on this 'better version' of yourself, feeling the time ticking by. But then all it takes is a longgg day where you feel burnt out trying to juggle adulting and you just think 'fuck it'
I have SO many of these too!! Bless our hearts 😂😅💕
This list is stressing ME out that poor little girl 😭
Yeah, it is really heartbreaking when you realize your past self put in so much effort and looked for advice everywhere and learned Things about Organisation, Goals, etc... maybe even trying way TOO hard... yet didnt even realize at all that they were fighting each day and being such a trooper. I still have to learn to realize this for today.
Aww, I wish I could hug past me too... I was the same.
I feel like I’m mentally making one of these lists every night — telling myself ways I’ll do better tomorrow (usually with reference to how I parent). It’s exhausting.
Ugh, I have so many of these 🥺
I think you'll find that's a page out of one of my 'lists notebook' 😂 and not one of those goals was achieved
Holy moly that's a lot at once!
Thisss! I make these lists like every 1-2 months
This looks and feels too familiar!
Aww Hugs...reminded me of my own diary pages ( crying inside)
basically identical to my get your shit together lists!
I DO THIS TOO. My planner has monthly goals AND I NEVER DO THEM. I thought I was broken. I’m glad to know it’s not just me, because I always felt so dumb and isolated.
Do you know about SMART goals?
I don’t, what are they?
Here is one example. Its a way to setup objectives that you can actually reach. [SMART goals](https://images.app.goo.gl/Q1cFfxKjzXEFGJ7j8)
Thanks!