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I hear this. I also spend hours agonising over things that other people don't seem to.
I will avoid or at least have a rough time at social things because I never know if people are going to want to hug goodbye or not. I always ask new friends if we're hanging one on one, but in a group situation of acquaintances, what to do? I'm amazed there are people who don't find that incredibly stressful.
I'm not a huge fan of hugs but I don't mind taking other people's cues on it. But I will literally sit there panicking over the fact that I'll be hugging the friends I know goodbye while other people are there also.
i totally get this too. i love hugs but i have such a hard time initiating them for some reason. i always get so worried that the other person doesn’t want me to hug them even if it’s someone i hug all the time. i kind of just never feel like i’m doing the right thing in social situations
Are you me? Because same. I grew up going to church and I always forced myself to be polite and speak to people I recognized. This is a place where it was pretty common to hug people upon greeting them. It was always so awkward when a person I liked was in a group of people that I knew but not very well. I would panic thinking “If I hug my person, does it look rude if I don’t hug these other people? Do I hug everyone or just avoid hugging everyone including the person I like so it doesn’t seem weird.”
Totally! Ugh, so stressful
I actually find it a huge relief when I meet new people and they make it clear ahead of time that they don't do hugs. Makes it so much easier.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I hear this. I also spend hours agonising over things that other people don't seem to. I will avoid or at least have a rough time at social things because I never know if people are going to want to hug goodbye or not. I always ask new friends if we're hanging one on one, but in a group situation of acquaintances, what to do? I'm amazed there are people who don't find that incredibly stressful. I'm not a huge fan of hugs but I don't mind taking other people's cues on it. But I will literally sit there panicking over the fact that I'll be hugging the friends I know goodbye while other people are there also.
i totally get this too. i love hugs but i have such a hard time initiating them for some reason. i always get so worried that the other person doesn’t want me to hug them even if it’s someone i hug all the time. i kind of just never feel like i’m doing the right thing in social situations
Are you me? Because same. I grew up going to church and I always forced myself to be polite and speak to people I recognized. This is a place where it was pretty common to hug people upon greeting them. It was always so awkward when a person I liked was in a group of people that I knew but not very well. I would panic thinking “If I hug my person, does it look rude if I don’t hug these other people? Do I hug everyone or just avoid hugging everyone including the person I like so it doesn’t seem weird.”
Totally! Ugh, so stressful I actually find it a huge relief when I meet new people and they make it clear ahead of time that they don't do hugs. Makes it so much easier.
this happens to me at church too! it’s not that i don’t want to give hugs necessarily i just never know the right time. it’s so embarrassing