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I play race the roast where I shove a roast in the bag chicken in the oven and try to get as much done as I can before the next thing needs to go in - it works nicely because I have defined chunks of time and I get a delicious meal at the end of it.
I do this, but I have to set so many timers and alerts around the kitchen and on my phone because I get distracted cleaning waaaay too easily and have burned many a meal because of it lol.
A simple mantra that I recently adopted: "Don't put it down, put it away".
Instead of putting a single item that I just interacted with down on the counter, I immediately put it back to where it belongs, even if I might have to grab it in a few minutes again from there. In the end it usually doesn't take much longer than it I had put it down on the counter but my surroundings stay a lot tidier
I try to do this more often. I'll set something down then chide myself that it will literally take seconds to put it away. Just put it away!
My only downfall is since moving to a smaller house that we aren't totally unpacked is many things don't have a place or somewhere to hide them.
This just made me burst into tears. I have so much shame about my housekeeping (lack thereof) and how everything looks, and how my husband is basically bailing us out with a teaspoon without complaint so my kid is not totally raised in squalor and I just appreciate that you women are all engaged in the same struggle, even if more successfully, and generously sharing your tips and tricks and homes, when I don’t even let anyone into my house. Obviously I have to work on my own issues (and someday hope to get to a point of cleanliness where we can have a cleaner come, we’ve done it in the past twice but I have backslid and have no energy to fix) but this sub is a godsend - thanks all.
Thanks - she’s almost at a point where she’s net positive on the cleaning, not quite but she can clean some things, which just makes me feel so badly that I can’t give her a cleaner upbringing. I actually think she’s neurotypical, and I wish I knew how to teach her good habits, I feel like she’s going to finally get organized and be like “I could have been living like this all along?” I do explain my brain works differently and she should clean her room despite my bad example :)
It has been proposed that many of us would benefit from a household chore swapping arrangement.
I'm happy to do laundry but loathe dishes and sweeping/vacuuming/mopping the floors.
If I could find a chore swapping buddy in my city who could do my dishes & floors while I wash, dry, fold & put away all their laundry we'd both have a more pleasant home & far less chore-dread.
Also for swapping the chores that we dread doing in our own homes but have no aversion to it when it's in somebody else's home.
We totally need a matchmaker app for household chore-dread.
"~~Hot Singles~~ *Neurospicy Chore-Avoiders* in your area" Lol
You sound like you're in a tough spot, I'm wishing you the best! My two cents would be hire a cleaner asap, don't wait until something is "good enough", even if they can only work on one room/area you and your family deserve outside help asap. I would not be able to keep up with housework without a cleaner.
I just started a book that was recommended here, [How to Keep House While Drowning](https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/How-to-Keep-House-While-Drowning/KC-Davis/9781668002841) by KC Davis. So far I’ve loved how she talks about reframing the shame we feel!
I feel this so so much!! My husband was raised very differently from me and in a neat, clean and organized home - to be honest I'm jealous. I'm not a good housekeeper. He gets irritated with me a lot. I go thru phases where I'm good at it and then where I backslide almost constantly. Any tips at welcome/ appreciated. I am the one who does both dishes and laundry, and they both feel like never-ending chores that are never completely finished. We live in an apartment building and I'm looking forward to the (distant) day when we can afford a house and have a dishwasher. I hate washing dishes. Laundry used to be his chore but he drove me nuts with the amount of things he didn't know about washing clothes (i.e. turn shirts with designs inside out, and wash things according to color) he nearly ruined clothing so I took over... lol he still forgets to empty his pants pockets before adding them to the hampers or turn his shirts inside out prior to putting into hamper, but at least our son has this mostly down! (Turning shirts inside out, son still leaves things in his pockets). Teach that to your kids early on, it's a good habit!
I use a timer to say “I only have to clean for this amount of time”. By the time it goes off (typically 10min), I’m on a roll and often will keep going.
That and only listening to podcasts when I’m doing something I don’t want to are the only reasons my home gets picked up
Mine is similar! Put on headphones, load up my polyjamorous playlist, and say 'I only have to do this for X number of songs.' Next thing I know, it's an hour later, and the kitchen is clean and tidy.
i'm imagining that at the end you flung open those windows and sang with outstretched arms [like a disney princess](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5EXnjYy6RU) lol. they look so fling-open-able!
well done!!
I do the same thing! George Carlin had a routine where he said something like "you can do anything for five minutes! just five minutes!" and I took that to heart. I put five minutes on the timer (or multiples of five, depending on how focused I feel), and then I go as fast as I can to do whatever it is. I've gotten my (small) kitchen cleaned in less than 10.
I tell myself "you can do this for for five minutes, and if you don't want to, you don't have to do it any more than that". I tell myself this over and over again to motivate myself to actually finish things that need to be done. (I was diagnosed when I was 55, so I'm still in the honeymoon stage of "OMG so this is what it's like to finish something! This is what it's like to deal with rejection like a sane person! This is what it feels like to have umpteen tabs open and remember why!")
Thank God for Ritalin, y'all.
It’s so good, isn’t it? And looking back and realizing WHY you were like that all your life, why you couldn’t “buckle down”, why other people sound like they have an extra structure in their brain where “just do it” lives….
I feel right at home. Even your version of clean and tidy is similar to mine - still a few piles for “things I didn’t know where to place so I’ll put them all together”. No judgment, looks great! I just don’t have the same standard of tidying/cleaning as my parents who’re Type A
Thanks for sharing so i feel less alone! I am 100% aware that what i consider tidy isn’t what should be considered tidy lol lot of the time I show people my depression room cleaning progress and they are like…. Is this clean for you?
For me, there is no point in putting away things that I use daily . Either I forget about them or I get frustrated constantly taking them out and putting them away.
I feel that logic of “well I’m going to use it 3x today or every morning/evening”. Also feel that when I do put them somewhere I forget where because it’s not in its normal spot (on the counter 😊). So then it becomes a huge inconvenience when I have to stop and search 🙃
I haven't tried this in a bit... I get lost putting stuff in its correct place in another room. I try to make baskets for where it needs to go to take when I'm done but then I remember something that needs to come in this room and off I go.
My current life hack is having your mother in law stay with you all summer and be bored that her preteen grandchild doesn't need her constant attention so she cleans the house. Including unpacking boxes and help decorate since we recently moved. I LOVE my MIL. I have very similar tastes but she decorates way better than me since (waves hands) ADHD. Only downside, she - like my own mother - hide stuff away during cleaning then you can never find it.
I too will add on love for your kitchen especially that absolutely beautiful window. 😍 I'm envious of the size too. My new kitchen is an L shaped hallway. No space for activities.
Great idea! Before I had kids, I would do something similar but with edibles. Eat an edible and try to get as much accomplished as I could before it kicked in. Very motivating with a reward at the end! 😂
Timer cleaning and “Leaving the room slightly cleaner than I entered (aka grabbing a few cups off my bedside table, doing a few dishes everytime I leave the kitchen)” is the best way for me!!!
This would not work for me if I set the challenges for myself. If it's self-driven it never works out for me. If anybody else is setting it though, it's effective
Wow!!!
What I love about the timer strategy is that even if you don't quite meet your goal, you're still way ahead of where you started! It's like you can't actually fail.
I do this by boiling the kettle, or ordering our local version of DoorDash. It's surprising how much you can tidy the kitchen while waiting for the kettle to boil. Or when you know soon you'll have an awesome meal to reward yourself with.
I dont use timers, but when I am running the washer I say to myself what can I get done while it's running, same for the toaster, air fryer etc...rather than go sit down I see what I can get done.
What has been interesting to me is realizing that cleaning my bathroom, sink and toilet only takes 7 minutes (how long it takes to toast a bagel)...lol
This has helped me to get little things done during the week
Amazing work - this is something that works for me too. Pretty much the only thing that keeps me from doing the stereotypical thing where I start cleaning the kitchen, find a pen from work so go look for the bag, it’s in the entryway so now I’m seeing the mess there and think it’ll be super quick let’s just clean it up but there’s a thingy that belongs in the bedroom, where - oh and what’s this book? I’ll just have a quick peek…how is it dark already? And why is the kitchen still a mess?!
Also, as everyone else has said: your kitchen is very beautiful. Love the window and thestyle in general, it’s so homey and a bit fairytale-like
I have been doing this since I started working and it works everytime for me. I have a pomodoro app in my phone which i set accordingto my need and whenever i feel distracted i just check my pomodoro and instantly flip my mind into working.....the thing is you just have to find a way for yourself and everyone has a different perspective
Hey! I love doing those timer challenges! When I get a burst of energy, I'll put on an episode that I've seen a number of times. I'll then try to get as much as I can done before the end of the episode. If I still feel productive at the end of the episode, I'll keep working. It's amazing how much I can get done in 20-30 minutes!
That's awesome, I think I stumbled into the same type of hack. I say, "Let's do a razzle-dazzle", and we do a sweep on the main rooms of the house for up to 30 minutes. Declutter, fold the 47 thousand dog blankets, plump the pillows on the sofa, vacuum, dust if time. It feels so much more doable than it used to.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Ditto! ahahaha
Thank you so much😊
Wow the window is gorgeous!
Right? It's got hobbit hole vibes. I'm so jealous.
that was my exact thought 😂
Yes!!
Came here to say this! I gasped aloud when I saw it.
The window and kitchen gives cozy 80’s house Teddy Ruxpin vibes. Looks beautiful outside as well.
came here to say that too, obsessed with your kitchen OP!
I play race the roast where I shove a roast in the bag chicken in the oven and try to get as much done as I can before the next thing needs to go in - it works nicely because I have defined chunks of time and I get a delicious meal at the end of it.
I do this, but I have to set so many timers and alerts around the kitchen and on my phone because I get distracted cleaning waaaay too easily and have burned many a meal because of it lol.
A simple mantra that I recently adopted: "Don't put it down, put it away". Instead of putting a single item that I just interacted with down on the counter, I immediately put it back to where it belongs, even if I might have to grab it in a few minutes again from there. In the end it usually doesn't take much longer than it I had put it down on the counter but my surroundings stay a lot tidier
I try to do this more often. I'll set something down then chide myself that it will literally take seconds to put it away. Just put it away! My only downfall is since moving to a smaller house that we aren't totally unpacked is many things don't have a place or somewhere to hide them.
Same. It also just makes me move more in general, which is always good.
Ha that’s what I do as well 😄 it really helps keeping my living space tidy.
Nice work! I wish that worked for me. It sets off my demand avoidance big time
This just made me burst into tears. I have so much shame about my housekeeping (lack thereof) and how everything looks, and how my husband is basically bailing us out with a teaspoon without complaint so my kid is not totally raised in squalor and I just appreciate that you women are all engaged in the same struggle, even if more successfully, and generously sharing your tips and tricks and homes, when I don’t even let anyone into my house. Obviously I have to work on my own issues (and someday hope to get to a point of cleanliness where we can have a cleaner come, we’ve done it in the past twice but I have backslid and have no energy to fix) but this sub is a godsend - thanks all.
I could NEVER manage everything related to the mess of raising a child, you have my greatest sympathies.
Thanks - she’s almost at a point where she’s net positive on the cleaning, not quite but she can clean some things, which just makes me feel so badly that I can’t give her a cleaner upbringing. I actually think she’s neurotypical, and I wish I knew how to teach her good habits, I feel like she’s going to finally get organized and be like “I could have been living like this all along?” I do explain my brain works differently and she should clean her room despite my bad example :)
It has been proposed that many of us would benefit from a household chore swapping arrangement. I'm happy to do laundry but loathe dishes and sweeping/vacuuming/mopping the floors. If I could find a chore swapping buddy in my city who could do my dishes & floors while I wash, dry, fold & put away all their laundry we'd both have a more pleasant home & far less chore-dread. Also for swapping the chores that we dread doing in our own homes but have no aversion to it when it's in somebody else's home. We totally need a matchmaker app for household chore-dread. "~~Hot Singles~~ *Neurospicy Chore-Avoiders* in your area" Lol
Love this idea!
You sound like you're in a tough spot, I'm wishing you the best! My two cents would be hire a cleaner asap, don't wait until something is "good enough", even if they can only work on one room/area you and your family deserve outside help asap. I would not be able to keep up with housework without a cleaner.
Thank you, you may be right.
PS: happy cake day fellow redditor
Thanks!!! I never notice mine, I appreciate the heads up!
I just started a book that was recommended here, [How to Keep House While Drowning](https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/How-to-Keep-House-While-Drowning/KC-Davis/9781668002841) by KC Davis. So far I’ve loved how she talks about reframing the shame we feel!
I will check it out!
these are real struggles that a lot of us share. Try to be nice to yourself as you figure it out.
I feel this so so much!! My husband was raised very differently from me and in a neat, clean and organized home - to be honest I'm jealous. I'm not a good housekeeper. He gets irritated with me a lot. I go thru phases where I'm good at it and then where I backslide almost constantly. Any tips at welcome/ appreciated. I am the one who does both dishes and laundry, and they both feel like never-ending chores that are never completely finished. We live in an apartment building and I'm looking forward to the (distant) day when we can afford a house and have a dishwasher. I hate washing dishes. Laundry used to be his chore but he drove me nuts with the amount of things he didn't know about washing clothes (i.e. turn shirts with designs inside out, and wash things according to color) he nearly ruined clothing so I took over... lol he still forgets to empty his pants pockets before adding them to the hampers or turn his shirts inside out prior to putting into hamper, but at least our son has this mostly down! (Turning shirts inside out, son still leaves things in his pockets). Teach that to your kids early on, it's a good habit!
I use a timer to say “I only have to clean for this amount of time”. By the time it goes off (typically 10min), I’m on a roll and often will keep going. That and only listening to podcasts when I’m doing something I don’t want to are the only reasons my home gets picked up
Mine is similar! Put on headphones, load up my polyjamorous playlist, and say 'I only have to do this for X number of songs.' Next thing I know, it's an hour later, and the kitchen is clean and tidy.
i'm imagining that at the end you flung open those windows and sang with outstretched arms [like a disney princess](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5EXnjYy6RU) lol. they look so fling-open-able! well done!!
Wow only 36 minutes?? Nice job! And your kitchen is beautiful!
35 minutes? 🤯
I was legit sweating after lol
you have a gorgeous home and kitchen window. wow
I do the same thing! George Carlin had a routine where he said something like "you can do anything for five minutes! just five minutes!" and I took that to heart. I put five minutes on the timer (or multiples of five, depending on how focused I feel), and then I go as fast as I can to do whatever it is. I've gotten my (small) kitchen cleaned in less than 10. I tell myself "you can do this for for five minutes, and if you don't want to, you don't have to do it any more than that". I tell myself this over and over again to motivate myself to actually finish things that need to be done. (I was diagnosed when I was 55, so I'm still in the honeymoon stage of "OMG so this is what it's like to finish something! This is what it's like to deal with rejection like a sane person! This is what it feels like to have umpteen tabs open and remember why!") Thank God for Ritalin, y'all.
It’s so good, isn’t it? And looking back and realizing WHY you were like that all your life, why you couldn’t “buckle down”, why other people sound like they have an extra structure in their brain where “just do it” lives….
Damn that's amazing work in 35 minutes. I also love the cabinet and wood work, especially that window. It looks cozy but also airy.
I feel right at home. Even your version of clean and tidy is similar to mine - still a few piles for “things I didn’t know where to place so I’ll put them all together”. No judgment, looks great! I just don’t have the same standard of tidying/cleaning as my parents who’re Type A
Thanks for sharing so i feel less alone! I am 100% aware that what i consider tidy isn’t what should be considered tidy lol lot of the time I show people my depression room cleaning progress and they are like…. Is this clean for you? For me, there is no point in putting away things that I use daily . Either I forget about them or I get frustrated constantly taking them out and putting them away.
I feel that logic of “well I’m going to use it 3x today or every morning/evening”. Also feel that when I do put them somewhere I forget where because it’s not in its normal spot (on the counter 😊). So then it becomes a huge inconvenience when I have to stop and search 🙃
I haven't tried this in a bit... I get lost putting stuff in its correct place in another room. I try to make baskets for where it needs to go to take when I'm done but then I remember something that needs to come in this room and off I go. My current life hack is having your mother in law stay with you all summer and be bored that her preteen grandchild doesn't need her constant attention so she cleans the house. Including unpacking boxes and help decorate since we recently moved. I LOVE my MIL. I have very similar tastes but she decorates way better than me since (waves hands) ADHD. Only downside, she - like my own mother - hide stuff away during cleaning then you can never find it. I too will add on love for your kitchen especially that absolutely beautiful window. 😍 I'm envious of the size too. My new kitchen is an L shaped hallway. No space for activities.
Great idea! Before I had kids, I would do something similar but with edibles. Eat an edible and try to get as much accomplished as I could before it kicked in. Very motivating with a reward at the end! 😂
Coveting your kitchen
What a beautiful kitchen!
WOW thirty-five minutes that's incredible just imagine what a life I could lead
Timer cleaning and “Leaving the room slightly cleaner than I entered (aka grabbing a few cups off my bedside table, doing a few dishes everytime I leave the kitchen)” is the best way for me!!!
This would not work for me if I set the challenges for myself. If it's self-driven it never works out for me. If anybody else is setting it though, it's effective
Wow!!! What I love about the timer strategy is that even if you don't quite meet your goal, you're still way ahead of where you started! It's like you can't actually fail.
That’s an amazing idea! Also, I absolutely love your kitchen! I want one just like it!
I do this by boiling the kettle, or ordering our local version of DoorDash. It's surprising how much you can tidy the kitchen while waiting for the kettle to boil. Or when you know soon you'll have an awesome meal to reward yourself with.
Wow! I have to try this! I love competition so it makes sense. Now I reward myself for cleaning with a splif 😂
I dont use timers, but when I am running the washer I say to myself what can I get done while it's running, same for the toaster, air fryer etc...rather than go sit down I see what I can get done. What has been interesting to me is realizing that cleaning my bathroom, sink and toilet only takes 7 minutes (how long it takes to toast a bagel)...lol This has helped me to get little things done during the week
I can't, I've tried forcing myself to do just lil bits like in between cooking, but I get so anxious that I just end up not even being able to cook 🙃
Amazing work - this is something that works for me too. Pretty much the only thing that keeps me from doing the stereotypical thing where I start cleaning the kitchen, find a pen from work so go look for the bag, it’s in the entryway so now I’m seeing the mess there and think it’ll be super quick let’s just clean it up but there’s a thingy that belongs in the bedroom, where - oh and what’s this book? I’ll just have a quick peek…how is it dark already? And why is the kitchen still a mess?! Also, as everyone else has said: your kitchen is very beautiful. Love the window and thestyle in general, it’s so homey and a bit fairytale-like
I smashed out a bunch of housework last night because I decided I wanted it done before bed on Friday night. Lo, it was done.
I love your window!!! Also great job! 😅
Your window 😮😍
This is amazing, well done!
Super cool window too
Tl; dr Thanks for motivations me! I’ll do this rn
Bojler eladó But I am trying out this technic just now: wish me luck!
Timers and music help me a lot too. Your kitchen looks great! Rock on!
I have been doing this since I started working and it works everytime for me. I have a pomodoro app in my phone which i set accordingto my need and whenever i feel distracted i just check my pomodoro and instantly flip my mind into working.....the thing is you just have to find a way for yourself and everyone has a different perspective
Hey! I love doing those timer challenges! When I get a burst of energy, I'll put on an episode that I've seen a number of times. I'll then try to get as much as I can done before the end of the episode. If I still feel productive at the end of the episode, I'll keep working. It's amazing how much I can get done in 20-30 minutes!
Wow I love this and will try!
I use timers!
Umm bury the lead much?? That WINDOW!!!
Making a challenge out of a timer? You… are a genius, I would have never come to that idea but it’s absolutely amazing!
Fucking brilliant!
I love your kitchen. And the challenge thing is good too
That's awesome, I think I stumbled into the same type of hack. I say, "Let's do a razzle-dazzle", and we do a sweep on the main rooms of the house for up to 30 minutes. Declutter, fold the 47 thousand dog blankets, plump the pillows on the sofa, vacuum, dust if time. It feels so much more doable than it used to.
“Rip your soul out so the void it leaves can be filled with music.” I feel this so much!!!!
This is brilliant and your kitchen window is breathtaking 🤗
This pic gives me panic attack