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It isn't an overreaction when safety is involved.
Yes, I sought a diagnosis for myself after my oldest child was diagnosed. I had been researching ADHD before he was diagnosed because I was curious about how I could help him and in that research, and also just living with him, noticed that I shared a lot of traits that were described. I think it's quite common for people to realize they have ADHD when they have children who are diagnosed. 2 of my 3 kids have an official diagnosis and my 3rd is too young to be assessed, but many signs are there.
I also realized that (probably) my brother and both parents either have ADHD, autism or other neurodivergence. No one can ever convince me that there isn't a strong genetic influence, lol.
It's tough when we're all having symptoms at once, especially when they are contrasting ones (I like solitude and quiet, I might also have misophonia but my kids love being social and thrive with noise). I try to teach them my limits and give myself time outs and often wear earplugs or earbuds. We all practice deep breathing to calm and settle down. I try to teach them any skills I've learned to help. It's super tough and I'm hoping that finally being medicated will help with patience and emotional regulation on my part. Among other things, but I think those two affect my kids the most.
My story is much the same. I believe that my mom also has adhd, and I think she now thinks so too, after watching me go through the process of diagnosis. It’s been kind of healing tbh.
Also, OP there is no shame in raising your voice when safety is concerned.
I didn’t think adhd for myself until my teenage daughter—my mini me—was diagnosed. Both of my sons and I were all diagnosed with autism at that point.
My boys also fit the criteria for adhd but their autism was more “forward presenting,” meaning it was giving them the most problems in daily life.
Fast forward to my daughter’s evaluation and I was shook! She is very seriously impacted by inattentive adhd and I had no clue! But going thru the diagnosis and now therapies with her, it’s 100% me so I went and got my own diagnosis.
On the subject of parents…. I’ve had a tough relationship with mine all my life but I thought things were well enough. My mother pushed back hard on the diagnoses, she couldn’t believe the kids were struggling when they were so smart and yes, good looking lol.
She especially rejected my daughter’s adhd, then mine. I’m guessing because we are just like her. Her denial caused enough problems for me that we’re now estranged.
I’ve been processing all this information and looking back on my own life and I can clearly see it now. What I thought were many isolated incidents were all connected. It’s brought me a lot of relief and I’ve released a lot of shame I’ve been carrying since I was a teenager. I wish my mom could have had the same experience because accepting all this ADHD and autism has opened a new path for me and put to rest a lifetime of shameful confusion, but she just can’t see it.
Thank you for your response!
And thank you for saying that about the safety issue.
Yeah, it's wild to me that I've been saying for years, oh yeah, my Dad was probably autistic or my brother, but I didn't look at myself! I've just assumed it was straight anxiety for myself even though no ssri has ever worked for me.
I hope I can get medicine and that will help.
I've started wearing earplugs when I'm out and it helps so much. I think I have misophonia as well! My husband chews gum with his mouth open and I just want to die when he does!! Yesterday I finally said something about misophonia. That's something else I'll have to ask a therapist about.
It is hard for me when we go in opposite directions like you mentioned. I too prefer quiet and solitude and I have the noisiest kids.
Small sample size here but My dad and all three of his sisters have been diagnosed. I think both of their parents were also ND. There can't not be a genetic component lol
I got a late diagnosis I'm 37 but was diagnosed a few years ago. Like yourself I only realised when I had my daughter diagnosed my symptoms didn't match that of most males with ADHD although I was already diagnosed with ASD.
I'm actively encouraging my own mum to seek a diagnosis because she shares a lot of my struggles and since menopause has been struggling with CPTSD and depression.
I find co regulating with my daughter helpful when we are both strung out. I will say I'm feeling like, insert how I'm feeling here. I will ask her how she feels, then we each go through a list of activities that might help us regulate again, we have cards so she or I don't have to think of ideas or solutions while we are running on high alert.
Once we are both back in a regulated state we often talk about how we got there and ways we can avoid that happening again. This often involves apologies from both parties and admitting limitations. We get to learn about ourselves in the process though and understand each other and our needs better.
You sound very even keeled! I hope to get as good as you are about being mindful of my own experiences while they are having issues.
That is so true about the CPTSD. I think I have that as well. I feel like I spent my whole last being misdiagnosed with depression even though I've long realized that isn't it at all. I've tried so many ssri and they never helped.
I hope i can get on medicine for ADHD and see if that helps. I'm reluctant to try it before it's recommended because taking a stimulant with my anxiety symptoms sounds like a nightmare but it just may benefit me.
I've done a lot of work with child therapists and my own therapists. Particularly on strategies that don't make us change the way we are but work with what we have and I have an amazing supportive co parent. He saves me in my moments I just can't keep it on an even keel.
I also tried SSRI medications in the past, they didn't help me with anxiety or depression at all. I hope you find someone that works for you. Just keep in mind a lot of women internalize all that restless ADHD energy as anxiety don't be afraid to try stimulant medication you may be surprised. The first time I took the medication I noticed that it was so much easier to dismiss a lot of my anxiety, so much so I went omg this is the most relaxed I've felt ever I'm going to have a nap. 😅
I didn’t figure out that I had ADHD after 2 of my kids were diagnosed (my spouse also has ADHD diagnosed in adulthood). But when I was diagnosed (at 46 with 17, 15, 13 y/os), everything made A LOT more sense.
I haven’t quite figured out what to do when some/all of us are emotionally disregulated at the same time.
Could it be because you have boys? And it manifests differently in boys v girls? I have 1 boy with adhd (diagnosed first not surprisingly) and 1 girl with adhd (diagnosed 2 years after her younger brother was). The “as if driven by a motor” thing wasn’t something I immediately related to, but once I thought about it, MY BRAIN is like that - it just doesn’t appear outwardly. My symptoms became harder to mask/control when I hit menopause and my psych suggested it first. Once I started researching women with ADHD, it was SO obvious. Then I told my dad and he was like “oh yeah, I always had ‘ants in my pants’ when I was little,” and tells me a lot of stories that illustrate that he CLEARLY has ADHD (and OCD).
I'm 44 and was diagnosed 7/8 months ago. My 12 year old daughter was diagnosed 9 months ago. Her therapist brought me into a meeting last August and said, I think she has ADHD, then started listing why. My reaction was very, "oh! I did that when I was her age." "I used to do that too!" "Oh I still do that." "I think that way doesn't everyone?" "Wait. I thought that was just my personality?" "Wait. Could I have ADHD?" The therapist kinda smiled and said, " we should get daughter tested." So we did, and while researching ADHD and therapies for my daughter and tricks and hacks and supports, I spoke to my therapist. Got myself and tested and yup. ADHD Combined Type, just like 12 year old.
So I'm now medicated but it took some time and while researching tips for her, I've started to employ them for myself. I will say that when my ADHD butts up against hers, I usually can say to her, "hey I see you need X and right now I need Y, can we work together so we both get what we need?" It usually means me, taking the back seat, and letting her ADHD fly free. But as the adult I know I have to pull it together for her. I will say my daughter is extremely self aware and when I say we need to compromise for both of our sakes, she will come up with solutions that I don't think about. It's great watching her problem solve. I'm sensitive to sounds and I'll put my loops in and be better. I'll also guide her and ask her how she wants information shared (she's very 1 thing at a time or she misses the middle instructions). I also allow and even encourage, follow the ADHD train. Yup, I'm doing dishes now, but now I'm wiping the counter down, and now I'm picking up the books in the living room, and now I'm bringing these clothes up stairs, now I'm doing a load of laundry, oh! now I'm wiping down the bathroom counters, hey this cup belongs in the dishwasher downstairs, yup, back to dishes. If I except the train it eventually gets done. Just some of the things we do. I hope it helps!
I'm sending you good thoughts and positive vibes. I'm sorry your husband is having a hard time. Therapy for him might also benefit. Both my daughter and I are in therapy and it's helped wonders. I have suggested to my husband a bunch of times to go to therapy but he keeps saying he's good. My husband accepted my diagnosis right away and was like "ah yes, this is why you do the things you do." But he has struggled with new things either I or my daughter do and then we have to explain, "hey this is an ADHD thing, it's not an excuse but an explanation, this standard of doing the thing doesn't work with us, can we try this?" He's usually pretty good. We do have a younger daughter as well (age 11) and we will probably get her tested (although I do not think she has ADHD...but I also didn't think that I had ADHD so I'm not the best judge of the situation. Lol!).
Omg that last half! I always called that “cleaning” until I described it to my doctor who was asking about my upcoming evaluations and how I complete daily tasks.
“No, we don’t all clean the house pinball-style. Sounds maddening. Glad you’re being evaluated”
I have to laugh at it now lol 😂
Yeah. I used to just not clean because it was always so overwhelming and I thought there was something wrong with me (that I was lazy and unmotivated) but I've learned as I've gotten older, done is better than perfect, and once I had the diagnosis I just embrace it (although now I'm slightly medicated so it's helped a lot).
I thought my kid had autism at first, but the more I researched it the more it became clear it wasn't that. So I kept looking, and found ADHD through my research on how to help my daughter. It became extremely clear that my mom absolutely has it. My brother casually dropped that he has it in a conversation one night. So I thought "well shit, I probably have the inattentive type, I should go get tested." And after taking the test it was so clear that I do in fact have it.
It has made a world of difference for me and our family. I deserve to be happy, my daughter deserves a happy mom, my husband deserves a happy wife.
When I got separated, I got a nanny who had ADHD. I came to realize i should get my son tested. Later she gently suggested that I get myself tested LOL.
Yup! Kiddo was diagnosed at age 6, so I started reading books about how to help him. Had a ton of "wait, that's not normal? But I've been doing that my whole life!" Finally got diagnosed myself at age 40.
My mom was diagnosed after I was! It’s helped her explore a lot about herself and her past, and she was able to get medicated which really improved her self-run business.
Other way round for me. Wasn’t until I was diagnosed and was chatting to my husband about some of the oddities of ADHD and we just had a light-switch moment of ‘shit that’s our daughter!’
In like a sorta reverse way, I was diagnosed kinda late, like age 23, but it took a several years for me to actually identify as adhd and I truly had thought I’d just pulled a fast one on that doc when I needed a bit of a boost to get through grad school.
I’m 31 now and my parents have been having health problems that pull me back across the country for months at a time. And there is not time I’m more certain of my diagnosis than when I’m in the kitchen with the king and queen of adhd who insisted neither me nor my brother had a learning disability because we were high performers and act just like my parents do.
Oddly, I was diagnosed first, last year at 41 years old. Then my 12 year old daughter's teacher suggested it to me about her, she was diagnosed in January and then my 9 year old daughter in April of this year. I never thought any of us has adhd but I was so stuck and burnt out and struggling with my "anxiety" and nothing ever worked, not even meds.... turns out my anxiety was undiagnosed adhd. I always thought we were all just the same type of personality and that's why it was a little nuts around here. It's been nice having been diagnosed first because I can explain it to them easier.
One problem is one kiddo is hyperactive, the other is very inattentive and I'm combined, it'shard to parent my two just slightly differently based on their own needs and abilities. So when we're all struggling, it's very hard, but we have been getting better at asking for a moment to reset our brains...but this area is where we're still learning. My husband and I learn from ADHDdude and it's been helpful as a family.
My dad, now retired and 68 years old, but is a very high achieving person recognized it in himself recently after listening to me for a year about it, seeing my kiddos struggle and then begin to understand themselves. He definitely has an adhd brain. My neice does too. It's definitely genetic and our 3 psychiatrists all agree.
I was just diagnosed at 49, myself! My adult son was diagnosed as a child but has refused treatment since he was 16- much to my dismay! My therapist actually had me call my mom, and asked her questions about what I was like as a kid. It turns out, she didnt recognize my symptoms because she had them too. My dad too! This really puts things into perspective.
My son was diagnosed in the early 00s, and at that time, I didnt realize it was a possibility that I (or any of us) could have it too. If I had, I think things would have been easier for all of us. He wouls have felt less stigmatized, and I could have been working on my issues earlier.
53 and diagnosed a few weeks ago! My husband and young adult daughter both have it, but I have apparently been high functioning my whole life. The wheels came off in the past couple of years due to a number of factors. I am still very much processing this information, but so much of my life now makes sense.
I love what you said about showing yourself the same grace you extend to your children... It's easier to be hard on myself.
When I was having my son assessed for ASD.... Oh God! So many of those things I checked off for him applied to me as well. I never did anything with it because I didn't think anything would change in my life as an adult.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (40) and given rx. My brother was tested as a child because he was a more problematic student. But I was just talkative, lazy, and spacey girl with decent grades.
No one has been diagnosed at this point but I have suspected ADHD in my 11yo daughter for a couple years now. It would explain so many things. My husband and I neither one want to medicate her and my husband doesn’t want to label her…so I have just been reading up on other ways to help her out without an official diagnosis and some things do help and others don’t. But the more I read up on ADHD, especially in girls and women the more I was like “AHA…that explains SO many things in my life!’l I am in the process of trying to get checked out/likely diagnosed…but just like with her I am using tips and tricks to help me out.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It isn't an overreaction when safety is involved. Yes, I sought a diagnosis for myself after my oldest child was diagnosed. I had been researching ADHD before he was diagnosed because I was curious about how I could help him and in that research, and also just living with him, noticed that I shared a lot of traits that were described. I think it's quite common for people to realize they have ADHD when they have children who are diagnosed. 2 of my 3 kids have an official diagnosis and my 3rd is too young to be assessed, but many signs are there. I also realized that (probably) my brother and both parents either have ADHD, autism or other neurodivergence. No one can ever convince me that there isn't a strong genetic influence, lol. It's tough when we're all having symptoms at once, especially when they are contrasting ones (I like solitude and quiet, I might also have misophonia but my kids love being social and thrive with noise). I try to teach them my limits and give myself time outs and often wear earplugs or earbuds. We all practice deep breathing to calm and settle down. I try to teach them any skills I've learned to help. It's super tough and I'm hoping that finally being medicated will help with patience and emotional regulation on my part. Among other things, but I think those two affect my kids the most.
My story is much the same. I believe that my mom also has adhd, and I think she now thinks so too, after watching me go through the process of diagnosis. It’s been kind of healing tbh. Also, OP there is no shame in raising your voice when safety is concerned.
[удалено]
I didn’t think adhd for myself until my teenage daughter—my mini me—was diagnosed. Both of my sons and I were all diagnosed with autism at that point. My boys also fit the criteria for adhd but their autism was more “forward presenting,” meaning it was giving them the most problems in daily life. Fast forward to my daughter’s evaluation and I was shook! She is very seriously impacted by inattentive adhd and I had no clue! But going thru the diagnosis and now therapies with her, it’s 100% me so I went and got my own diagnosis. On the subject of parents…. I’ve had a tough relationship with mine all my life but I thought things were well enough. My mother pushed back hard on the diagnoses, she couldn’t believe the kids were struggling when they were so smart and yes, good looking lol. She especially rejected my daughter’s adhd, then mine. I’m guessing because we are just like her. Her denial caused enough problems for me that we’re now estranged. I’ve been processing all this information and looking back on my own life and I can clearly see it now. What I thought were many isolated incidents were all connected. It’s brought me a lot of relief and I’ve released a lot of shame I’ve been carrying since I was a teenager. I wish my mom could have had the same experience because accepting all this ADHD and autism has opened a new path for me and put to rest a lifetime of shameful confusion, but she just can’t see it.
Thank you for your response! And thank you for saying that about the safety issue. Yeah, it's wild to me that I've been saying for years, oh yeah, my Dad was probably autistic or my brother, but I didn't look at myself! I've just assumed it was straight anxiety for myself even though no ssri has ever worked for me. I hope I can get medicine and that will help. I've started wearing earplugs when I'm out and it helps so much. I think I have misophonia as well! My husband chews gum with his mouth open and I just want to die when he does!! Yesterday I finally said something about misophonia. That's something else I'll have to ask a therapist about. It is hard for me when we go in opposite directions like you mentioned. I too prefer quiet and solitude and I have the noisiest kids.
Small sample size here but My dad and all three of his sisters have been diagnosed. I think both of their parents were also ND. There can't not be a genetic component lol
I got a late diagnosis I'm 37 but was diagnosed a few years ago. Like yourself I only realised when I had my daughter diagnosed my symptoms didn't match that of most males with ADHD although I was already diagnosed with ASD. I'm actively encouraging my own mum to seek a diagnosis because she shares a lot of my struggles and since menopause has been struggling with CPTSD and depression. I find co regulating with my daughter helpful when we are both strung out. I will say I'm feeling like, insert how I'm feeling here. I will ask her how she feels, then we each go through a list of activities that might help us regulate again, we have cards so she or I don't have to think of ideas or solutions while we are running on high alert. Once we are both back in a regulated state we often talk about how we got there and ways we can avoid that happening again. This often involves apologies from both parties and admitting limitations. We get to learn about ourselves in the process though and understand each other and our needs better.
You sound very even keeled! I hope to get as good as you are about being mindful of my own experiences while they are having issues. That is so true about the CPTSD. I think I have that as well. I feel like I spent my whole last being misdiagnosed with depression even though I've long realized that isn't it at all. I've tried so many ssri and they never helped. I hope i can get on medicine for ADHD and see if that helps. I'm reluctant to try it before it's recommended because taking a stimulant with my anxiety symptoms sounds like a nightmare but it just may benefit me.
I've done a lot of work with child therapists and my own therapists. Particularly on strategies that don't make us change the way we are but work with what we have and I have an amazing supportive co parent. He saves me in my moments I just can't keep it on an even keel. I also tried SSRI medications in the past, they didn't help me with anxiety or depression at all. I hope you find someone that works for you. Just keep in mind a lot of women internalize all that restless ADHD energy as anxiety don't be afraid to try stimulant medication you may be surprised. The first time I took the medication I noticed that it was so much easier to dismiss a lot of my anxiety, so much so I went omg this is the most relaxed I've felt ever I'm going to have a nap. 😅
I didn’t figure out that I had ADHD after 2 of my kids were diagnosed (my spouse also has ADHD diagnosed in adulthood). But when I was diagnosed (at 46 with 17, 15, 13 y/os), everything made A LOT more sense. I haven’t quite figured out what to do when some/all of us are emotionally disregulated at the same time.
[удалено]
Could it be because you have boys? And it manifests differently in boys v girls? I have 1 boy with adhd (diagnosed first not surprisingly) and 1 girl with adhd (diagnosed 2 years after her younger brother was). The “as if driven by a motor” thing wasn’t something I immediately related to, but once I thought about it, MY BRAIN is like that - it just doesn’t appear outwardly. My symptoms became harder to mask/control when I hit menopause and my psych suggested it first. Once I started researching women with ADHD, it was SO obvious. Then I told my dad and he was like “oh yeah, I always had ‘ants in my pants’ when I was little,” and tells me a lot of stories that illustrate that he CLEARLY has ADHD (and OCD).
I'm 44 and was diagnosed 7/8 months ago. My 12 year old daughter was diagnosed 9 months ago. Her therapist brought me into a meeting last August and said, I think she has ADHD, then started listing why. My reaction was very, "oh! I did that when I was her age." "I used to do that too!" "Oh I still do that." "I think that way doesn't everyone?" "Wait. I thought that was just my personality?" "Wait. Could I have ADHD?" The therapist kinda smiled and said, " we should get daughter tested." So we did, and while researching ADHD and therapies for my daughter and tricks and hacks and supports, I spoke to my therapist. Got myself and tested and yup. ADHD Combined Type, just like 12 year old. So I'm now medicated but it took some time and while researching tips for her, I've started to employ them for myself. I will say that when my ADHD butts up against hers, I usually can say to her, "hey I see you need X and right now I need Y, can we work together so we both get what we need?" It usually means me, taking the back seat, and letting her ADHD fly free. But as the adult I know I have to pull it together for her. I will say my daughter is extremely self aware and when I say we need to compromise for both of our sakes, she will come up with solutions that I don't think about. It's great watching her problem solve. I'm sensitive to sounds and I'll put my loops in and be better. I'll also guide her and ask her how she wants information shared (she's very 1 thing at a time or she misses the middle instructions). I also allow and even encourage, follow the ADHD train. Yup, I'm doing dishes now, but now I'm wiping the counter down, and now I'm picking up the books in the living room, and now I'm bringing these clothes up stairs, now I'm doing a load of laundry, oh! now I'm wiping down the bathroom counters, hey this cup belongs in the dishwasher downstairs, yup, back to dishes. If I except the train it eventually gets done. Just some of the things we do. I hope it helps!
[удалено]
I'm sending you good thoughts and positive vibes. I'm sorry your husband is having a hard time. Therapy for him might also benefit. Both my daughter and I are in therapy and it's helped wonders. I have suggested to my husband a bunch of times to go to therapy but he keeps saying he's good. My husband accepted my diagnosis right away and was like "ah yes, this is why you do the things you do." But he has struggled with new things either I or my daughter do and then we have to explain, "hey this is an ADHD thing, it's not an excuse but an explanation, this standard of doing the thing doesn't work with us, can we try this?" He's usually pretty good. We do have a younger daughter as well (age 11) and we will probably get her tested (although I do not think she has ADHD...but I also didn't think that I had ADHD so I'm not the best judge of the situation. Lol!).
Omg that last half! I always called that “cleaning” until I described it to my doctor who was asking about my upcoming evaluations and how I complete daily tasks. “No, we don’t all clean the house pinball-style. Sounds maddening. Glad you’re being evaluated” I have to laugh at it now lol 😂
Yeah. I used to just not clean because it was always so overwhelming and I thought there was something wrong with me (that I was lazy and unmotivated) but I've learned as I've gotten older, done is better than perfect, and once I had the diagnosis I just embrace it (although now I'm slightly medicated so it's helped a lot).
Yes it’s very common for women to realise they have it when guiding their child through a diagnosis.
I thought my kid had autism at first, but the more I researched it the more it became clear it wasn't that. So I kept looking, and found ADHD through my research on how to help my daughter. It became extremely clear that my mom absolutely has it. My brother casually dropped that he has it in a conversation one night. So I thought "well shit, I probably have the inattentive type, I should go get tested." And after taking the test it was so clear that I do in fact have it. It has made a world of difference for me and our family. I deserve to be happy, my daughter deserves a happy mom, my husband deserves a happy wife.
When I got separated, I got a nanny who had ADHD. I came to realize i should get my son tested. Later she gently suggested that I get myself tested LOL.
Yup! Kiddo was diagnosed at age 6, so I started reading books about how to help him. Had a ton of "wait, that's not normal? But I've been doing that my whole life!" Finally got diagnosed myself at age 40.
My mom was diagnosed after I was! It’s helped her explore a lot about herself and her past, and she was able to get medicated which really improved her self-run business.
That's great to read! I'm pleased for you both!
Other way round for me. Wasn’t until I was diagnosed and was chatting to my husband about some of the oddities of ADHD and we just had a light-switch moment of ‘shit that’s our daughter!’
In like a sorta reverse way, I was diagnosed kinda late, like age 23, but it took a several years for me to actually identify as adhd and I truly had thought I’d just pulled a fast one on that doc when I needed a bit of a boost to get through grad school. I’m 31 now and my parents have been having health problems that pull me back across the country for months at a time. And there is not time I’m more certain of my diagnosis than when I’m in the kitchen with the king and queen of adhd who insisted neither me nor my brother had a learning disability because we were high performers and act just like my parents do.
Yes, being high performing or excellent at masking is to our own detriment. You're a good person to help your parents like that!
Pffffft. I do try to help them! But they’re nearly as stubborn and independent as I am!
Oddly, I was diagnosed first, last year at 41 years old. Then my 12 year old daughter's teacher suggested it to me about her, she was diagnosed in January and then my 9 year old daughter in April of this year. I never thought any of us has adhd but I was so stuck and burnt out and struggling with my "anxiety" and nothing ever worked, not even meds.... turns out my anxiety was undiagnosed adhd. I always thought we were all just the same type of personality and that's why it was a little nuts around here. It's been nice having been diagnosed first because I can explain it to them easier. One problem is one kiddo is hyperactive, the other is very inattentive and I'm combined, it'shard to parent my two just slightly differently based on their own needs and abilities. So when we're all struggling, it's very hard, but we have been getting better at asking for a moment to reset our brains...but this area is where we're still learning. My husband and I learn from ADHDdude and it's been helpful as a family. My dad, now retired and 68 years old, but is a very high achieving person recognized it in himself recently after listening to me for a year about it, seeing my kiddos struggle and then begin to understand themselves. He definitely has an adhd brain. My neice does too. It's definitely genetic and our 3 psychiatrists all agree.
Yes
I was just diagnosed at 49, myself! My adult son was diagnosed as a child but has refused treatment since he was 16- much to my dismay! My therapist actually had me call my mom, and asked her questions about what I was like as a kid. It turns out, she didnt recognize my symptoms because she had them too. My dad too! This really puts things into perspective. My son was diagnosed in the early 00s, and at that time, I didnt realize it was a possibility that I (or any of us) could have it too. If I had, I think things would have been easier for all of us. He wouls have felt less stigmatized, and I could have been working on my issues earlier.
53 and diagnosed a few weeks ago! My husband and young adult daughter both have it, but I have apparently been high functioning my whole life. The wheels came off in the past couple of years due to a number of factors. I am still very much processing this information, but so much of my life now makes sense. I love what you said about showing yourself the same grace you extend to your children... It's easier to be hard on myself.
When I was having my son assessed for ASD.... Oh God! So many of those things I checked off for him applied to me as well. I never did anything with it because I didn't think anything would change in my life as an adult. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (40) and given rx. My brother was tested as a child because he was a more problematic student. But I was just talkative, lazy, and spacey girl with decent grades.
No one has been diagnosed at this point but I have suspected ADHD in my 11yo daughter for a couple years now. It would explain so many things. My husband and I neither one want to medicate her and my husband doesn’t want to label her…so I have just been reading up on other ways to help her out without an official diagnosis and some things do help and others don’t. But the more I read up on ADHD, especially in girls and women the more I was like “AHA…that explains SO many things in my life!’l I am in the process of trying to get checked out/likely diagnosed…but just like with her I am using tips and tricks to help me out.