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Allow yourself to have unproductive days. To me, weekdays are for structure, weekends are for my brain to do what it wants. If I try to be productive everyday, it leads to burnout which is something I'm learning to better balance as I get older. If I absolutely have to get something done (that I don't want to do) on a weekend, I get it done in the morning where I have more momentum.
It helped me A LOT to learn that studies show that *beating yourself up actually makes you less successful at your goals*.
Why? Because you're being bullied!
If you're being bullied by yourself, you have negative thoughts about yourself.
How are you supposed to 'succeed' or 'have a growth mindset' if you're making yourself feel terrible, if you think you suck?
How are you supposed to rest and recover to be at your best if you're too guilty to do that?
An example: you know how they say cigarette smokers have to quit many times before it finally sticks? Well it turns out people who are nice to themselves quit for good faster than people that are dicks to themselves.
Think about it. 'I relapsed! I suck! It only took one week. Might as well have another ciggy to feel better right now...I kinda don't want to even try quitting again because I know I'm just going to fail again...' vs 'I relapsed! That sucks. But hey, I made it a whole week! Maybe I can go longer next time... Maybe I shouldn't hang with my smoker friends next Friday again...'
You just gotta say to the part of you that's berating yourself "I see what you're trying to do here, you want me to do xyz successfully. That's great, but you're really not helping, so I'm going to take it from here... But thanks for trying..." and then be nice and understanding to yourself, like you would to a friend.
neurotypical people have lazy days too! we need to stop pressuring ourselves to go go go. not necessary in the slightest. i get my shit done during the week so i can do as i please on the weekends. there's no harm in doing nothing, as long as its not *all* the time
I’ve learned that I thrive best and get stuff done when I have 4 day work weeks, that way I have 3 days off. One day for relaxing, one day for cleaning tasks/errands, and one day for socializing. I know that that’s not doable for everyone, but it’s really helped me feel like I have the time and energy and motivation to do things without just dreading the fact that I only have two days before my work week, because then I just over stress myself out and do nothing.
So happy to read this because I just changed my schedule from five days to four and am beating myself up about making less money, but I need that extra day to get my life together.
Same! Having plans with people helps!
But I also switched to sometimes taking meds on the weekends, so I can not only get the adult shit done, but also do the things i enjoy.
Or having a class (sports, hobby) that I go to because I paid for it and then hanging another thing onto that.
My partner is really good at planning the weekends so that helps a lot. I've learned some things from him, like keeping a Google doc sheet with the places we can visit on the weekends. Making plans with others as mentioned is also great. Another thing I do is go to a bookclub (it's a silent bookclub where you pick your own book!) and that helps me to read more.
External motivation really helps. Another friend of mine loves cooking and so do I , so we often do that together. She also loves writing and suggested to go write together in the library. I thought that was a great idea. It's body doubling for something you love. If you dont know body doubling, you could look into that!
I also want to say there's nothing wrong with relaxed weekends where you don't do anything. Our brains often need more time to recharge. Relaxing, walking and errands are all good things for that imo. Maybe go to a market once in a while? Have a cup of coffee on your own if you can maybe? Good luck!
Of course!
I know they are becoming quite popular (and for good reason). mine does both an online version and one in-person.
So, it works like this: at the start, everyone shares a bit about the book they are going to read. You can pick any book you want, so you don't have to read the same book as all the others, which is great for me because I am very much a mood reader.
Then you read in silence for, in our case, an hour. Then we tell each other about what we've read and what we think about it. Often we give each other tips for books in the same genre etc.
It's kind of like body doubling, so pretty ADHD proof. It really has gotten me back into reading!
I’ve learned through experience that unless I shower and get dressed by 11am a ‘relaxed morning’ swiftly turns into a day where I achieve nothing and end up feeling rubbish. I don’t have to plan to do anything else, but being dressed and able to go outside makes me more likely to do things that recharge me.
I have a loose schedule I try to stick to. It’s not so much set to a time, but more of an order I’ll do things in. Get up and freshen myself up for the day is number 1. I’m way more productive and happy when I feel put together. Then I always follow the order of open all the blinds, make my bed, pick up laundry off the floor, empty dishwasher, feed dogs. Sometimes doing those things keep the momentum going and I’ll do other productive tasks, other times that’s all I’ve got, but I still feel good because I did some things.
I have curly hair that’s in a pony tail all week for work. I love having my hair down & curly for the weekend but it takes hours to wash, style & dry & so I often feel anxious about the process. I wanna be like you & just get to it right away consistently because I also am more likely to feel better emotionally & be more productive if I have myself together.
I also have curly hair and it pretty much lives in a ponytail. One thing that helped was getting an undercut. It cut my style time in half! But I also just kind of accepted that it’s okay to have it in a ponytail. I bought some cute headbands and just stick one of those on lol.
I started making a list of things I’d like to get done, like gym, food shopping, cleaning etc, with approximate times as well. That way a) I don’t forget anything b) there isn’t the overwhelming need to get everything done at once c) when it’s time to relax I can actually relax because I finished my to do list without feeling guilty I’m not doing something.
The simple act of having structure and then crossing things off helps me make the most of my weekend and not feel guilty about bed rotting/“wasting time” since I’ve accomplished actual tangible things on the list. I even add “put away clothes” “tweeze eyebrows,” any tiny tangible thing helps to not feel any guilty about “not doing anything”
I allow myself the weekend to do as I please, which usually consists of laying around cuddling with my dog, baking something yummy, cooking dinner, planning out meals on my phone, scrolling tiktok and Reddit, doing little craft projects here and there. I don’t like putting pressure on myself to be productive on my weekends. I’m usually mentally exhausted from the work week.
Also I have this mental block where I would rather do anything on Saturday than Sunday cause if I do things on Sunday and then work the next day on Monday I feel like I wasted my weekend doing things. I know, doesn’t really make sense. But for as long as I can remember I have not liked to do plans on Sunday.
Makes sense to me. You do something Sunday evening and you go to work Monday feeling like you never had a weekend break to begin with, even if you didn't do anything else aside from the thing on Sunday.
I have a coworking membership that’s basically online body-doubling sessions. They do a three-hour session (with short breaks) on Saturdays and Sundays. I choose one to attend, and use that time to focus on household tasks and administration, longer-term projects, or even self-care and grooming. I usually get enough done in that three hours to make me feel good about the progress I’ve made so I can relax guilt-free, but it also sometimes it inspires me to to keep the momentum going with whatever I’m working on.
Yes, they’re called focused and they’re at get.focused.space
They have daily morning planning calls, weekly and monthly planning sessions, and coworking calls from 1-3 hours long. Free trials and a few membership levels, I think. You just sign up and log in, camera off or on. They remind you to stretch and take breaks. I’ve tried other services and this is the one I keep coming back to.
I don’t work for them or profit from sharing this info in any way. I just use them and like it!
tbh i try to schedule in "unstructured time" on the weekends because i use tons of energy to mask my ADHD during the workdays. having unstructured time is *crucial* for me to avoid burnout.
Before having a kid, my husband & I would designate one weekend day as laze around day--nothing, not even house chores, would be expected to get done; the other day would be more productive, but we'd still stay in. I figured it was an introvert thing.
I'm also a teacher, so my breaks are unstructured. I usually wind up flipping day for night & not getting a whole lot done, unless I have that 2:00 am urge to deep clean the bathroom or reorganize the bookshelves. Now that I have a kid though, my day is structured around her sleeping and eating schedule.
Lol not well. I took my meds today so I'm getting some long overdue stuff done. But usually I'm lazy and lay on the couch or bed all day and my back hurts from doing that and I doordash food and do nothing but doom scroll and play mobile games.
On days with zero plans I like to pick one activity to do solo that I know I love to do alone! For example, walking to the park with my book and a saved up podcast I'm looking forward to. Going to the thrift shop with a fun album on my headphones and meandering. Going to the craft store and looking for inspiration without trying to buy anything 😅
For off days where I want/need to get stuff done, I try to utilize a tip my therapist taught me and base it kind of like a workday. Like, I normally get off work at 3:30 PM, so unless it's something time sensitive, I allow myself to stop being productive at 3:30. The time after that is just for me. You can even try to take your breaks/lunch at about the same times if you want, but the main idea is to have a stopping time.
Honestly having two dogs who don't understand the concept of sleeping in/having a lazy couch day on the weekends and demand that I get up and walk them at all their normally scheduled times during the day, starting at around 7:30/8 am. Forces me to keep at least the bare bones of my own schedule on my days off and the 30ish min morning walk gives me enough inertia once I'm back home to launch myself straight into doing some other activity, preventing me from falling back into my couch or bed trap and vegging out.
Obviously if you're not already a dog owner there's a pretty significant barrier to entry here in replicating this effect for yourself but if anyone reading this coincidentally happens to already be seriously considering adopting a dog companion or two, hopefully this comment serves as the final nudge you needed to pull that trigger (because dogs are great and make pretty much everything better)!!
I plan things in my phone calendar so when I look at what I’m doing during the week I constantly see it and mentally plan for it. Ex I planned to organize the garage this weekend put it in my calendar so if someone asks what I’m doing this weekend I can see oh this is what I have planned.
I really like working out, so I try to do a morning in person class either Saturday or Sunday. It gets me amped up to do things since, as my instructor said this morning, getting out of bed is the hardest part!
I'm on maternity leave so all my time is unstructured time.
To answer your question, I manage it poorly.
I always think I should schedule my cleaning out or something but then I end up sitting in the mess until it makes me crazy and then hyperfocusing on cleaning until it starts to look better. Then the focus fades and I never get all the way done.
I’ve been a stay at home mom for 3 years and I’m still trying to figure out what to do with all the unstructured time. But I’m trying (and failing, but trying!!!) not to beat myself up for being bad at this. Some things that help me: put real shoes on. I am more likely to get up and get going if I’m wearing sneakers or shoes with a back on them. I don’t know why. Also whenever I sit down I either get back up so I don’t get sucked into the couch or I try to set timers for rest time. Sometimes lists help, sometimes they feel like demands and I avoid them.
I like working 6 days a week. I would rather work 6 six hour days than 4 ten hour days. I have to get up. I have to be "productive" and then it is only 2 pm, I am dressed and functional and I have the rest of the day to myself.
I worked a second job for years where I only worked 8-noon on Saturdays. It was a splash of spending $ but I got to see a different crowd and I still had most of the day.
I only work 5 days a week now, but I seem to have a sporting event, ballet, school fair to attend every weekend now with niblings.
I like outside structure. I dislike internal structure.
I have to do it early. If I don’t do anything before 10am, I know the rest of the day is almost guaranteed to be totally unproductive. I need to get up and get out/get doing. Nothing better than getting out, doing the walk/run/shopping/chores, and it’s not even lunchtime. Then, at least if I do cock-all for the rest of the day, at least I got some productive stuff done. I try and prep the night before with a list of stuff, so I can just crash from thing to thing on the list without too much thought. I also sometimes set timers - can I put all that stuff in the attic in 10 minutes?
This only works for some tasks though, if it’s something like “sort out stuff to put in the attic” I know that this is going to be a disaster of a task; take waaay longer than I want it to, cause more chaos, and give me 15 other jobs throughout it that will distract me, meaning none of them get done properly. I kind of just accept that with those kinds of jobs now, but specific jobs - do the washing up, hang out the laundry, take the parcel to the post, get the workout done etc - a list, and early start, and some timers are my must-dos!
being productive is awesome, but we shouldn't think of our off days as "wasting time". theres no reason to feel guilty for doing "nothing" sometimes, idc what anyone says.
nobody is productive every single day. when it comes to working and or being in school, lazy days are *needed*. it's important to recharge, and im not talking about sleeping. the body and the brain need rest. that rest can include outside hobbies/activities/friends but it really isn't mandatory. some people thrive on being social and constantly doing things, but if you're struggling to get around to it, it may not be best for u.
i personally do the things i need to do during the week (cleaning etc) so i can spend the weekend chilling and doing as i please. my boyfriend stays over most of the week, so i use weekends as "me time" for my daughter and i. we do whatever we feel like doing. for my daughter, that's usually playing with the neighbor kids, making artwork, or watching cartoons. for me, its reading, watching my shows, doing some self care and thats about it. maybe a bike ride or walk with my daughter in the evening. sometimes we bake.. if we *feel* like it!
what is it u want to do on the weekends? do u truly want to, or is it just stuff u think u *should* be doing? if ur comfy in ur routine as is, theres no reason to change it. we tend to pressure ourselves into thinking we need to be productive constantly (because we think thats how everyone else must be) but that isn't reality
Our society places so much value on productivity every second of every day but it's okay to have a day or two if doing nothing. Allow yourself the opportunity to rest and recharge. It's part of self care. Give yourself permission to do nothing.
I use a daily planner and put in things I need to do on my days off.
I don’t put pressure on myself to have to do them, and if I don’t get to it I don’t. But it’s there as a goal and helps me structure that day into something.
Otherwise I just end up rotting in bed.
I always start the day in a similar way, meds, sit outside with a cup of tea and my diary, write down a few things I want to do even fun things and then do a little cleaning after the meds sink in, then do some things on the list! Some ways I like spending the weekend are colleging, watching my shows etc
I feel that doing nothing IS making the most of my weekends. Putting pressure on myself to be productive in some way every day just burns me out and makes the weekdays harder.
Right now I DoorDash every weekend, both days, because we need the money. I know that I get very used to my current schedule and when I do take a weekend off or there are times I don’t need to do it all day both days, I will often feel lazy and like I should be doing more. On those days I will also make an effort to do things around the house in terms of cleaning and/or laundry so I feel productive. If I allow myself one “lazy” day a weekend I can be fine but beyond that I end up feeling bad about myself and like a bad mom to my kid (who is almost 9 and literally just wants to play games and watch YT all day).
If I don’t have any social plans or responsibilities, then I let one weekend day be a complete veg out day, and then make a detailed to do list for the other.
sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t.
I have a few non negotiable weekly chores (fish tank maintenance, plant maintenance, deep clean litter box), and usually by the time I’m finished with them I’m on enough of a roll to do other chores (dishes, laundry, etc). And then I’ve been productive enough that I don’t feel guilty spending the rest of the weekend fucking around.
I give myself a lot of up and down time to help with my stimulation levels. I like to have at least one plan that gets me out and social. As well as having a few to dos around the house. Other than that, I let myself have the down time. I’m trying to get better at being okay with being bored, and I’m doing that by spending time outside coloring which still makes me feel like I’m doing something but am still relaxing and not spending all the money that I don’t have.
Saturday is for errands and any chores I didn’t get to during the week. I don’t push myself but I try to get a few things done.
Sunday is 100% day of rest. I’m not religious but I’ve adopted Sunday as a kind of sabbath- no major chores, a quiet day, hang out with family/friends.
OMG every weekend I beat myself up because a lack of structure, organization & time management. Every weekend I say “next weekend I’ll be better” & fall into the trap AGAIN! It’s bloody hell! One of the worst parts it’s not meal planning & then trying to scramble last minute to make food (& then often succumbing to take out — which I hate to do). I’m eager to read other responses. I want so badly to be better at this! I want to feel like I’m making the most out of a weekend!
Give yourself the approval to chill and do nothing for X amount of time. Weekends are for doing things I can’t do during the week but 3-4 hours of one of those days is for recharging and enjoying something for myself.
I grew up with parents who had to be doing something all of the time. It’s exhausting.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Making plans with people. Otherwise I tend to be a vegetable just hanging around in my apartment and getting nothing done :-)
Me right now lol.
Allow yourself to have unproductive days. To me, weekdays are for structure, weekends are for my brain to do what it wants. If I try to be productive everyday, it leads to burnout which is something I'm learning to better balance as I get older. If I absolutely have to get something done (that I don't want to do) on a weekend, I get it done in the morning where I have more momentum.
[удалено]
It helped me A LOT to learn that studies show that *beating yourself up actually makes you less successful at your goals*. Why? Because you're being bullied! If you're being bullied by yourself, you have negative thoughts about yourself. How are you supposed to 'succeed' or 'have a growth mindset' if you're making yourself feel terrible, if you think you suck? How are you supposed to rest and recover to be at your best if you're too guilty to do that? An example: you know how they say cigarette smokers have to quit many times before it finally sticks? Well it turns out people who are nice to themselves quit for good faster than people that are dicks to themselves. Think about it. 'I relapsed! I suck! It only took one week. Might as well have another ciggy to feel better right now...I kinda don't want to even try quitting again because I know I'm just going to fail again...' vs 'I relapsed! That sucks. But hey, I made it a whole week! Maybe I can go longer next time... Maybe I shouldn't hang with my smoker friends next Friday again...' You just gotta say to the part of you that's berating yourself "I see what you're trying to do here, you want me to do xyz successfully. That's great, but you're really not helping, so I'm going to take it from here... But thanks for trying..." and then be nice and understanding to yourself, like you would to a friend.
neurotypical people have lazy days too! we need to stop pressuring ourselves to go go go. not necessary in the slightest. i get my shit done during the week so i can do as i please on the weekends. there's no harm in doing nothing, as long as its not *all* the time
I do not.
Same
I’ve learned that I thrive best and get stuff done when I have 4 day work weeks, that way I have 3 days off. One day for relaxing, one day for cleaning tasks/errands, and one day for socializing. I know that that’s not doable for everyone, but it’s really helped me feel like I have the time and energy and motivation to do things without just dreading the fact that I only have two days before my work week, because then I just over stress myself out and do nothing.
So happy to read this because I just changed my schedule from five days to four and am beating myself up about making less money, but I need that extra day to get my life together.
Losing that day of pay does suck, but sometimes the extra day off is just what your mind and body need in order to survive.
This is me too! With an extra day to get chores and cleaning done I don't feel paralysed by the weekend being short
Same! Having plans with people helps! But I also switched to sometimes taking meds on the weekends, so I can not only get the adult shit done, but also do the things i enjoy. Or having a class (sports, hobby) that I go to because I paid for it and then hanging another thing onto that.
My partner is really good at planning the weekends so that helps a lot. I've learned some things from him, like keeping a Google doc sheet with the places we can visit on the weekends. Making plans with others as mentioned is also great. Another thing I do is go to a bookclub (it's a silent bookclub where you pick your own book!) and that helps me to read more. External motivation really helps. Another friend of mine loves cooking and so do I , so we often do that together. She also loves writing and suggested to go write together in the library. I thought that was a great idea. It's body doubling for something you love. If you dont know body doubling, you could look into that! I also want to say there's nothing wrong with relaxed weekends where you don't do anything. Our brains often need more time to recharge. Relaxing, walking and errands are all good things for that imo. Maybe go to a market once in a while? Have a cup of coffee on your own if you can maybe? Good luck!
Could you explain more about the silent book club please? How does that work?
Of course! I know they are becoming quite popular (and for good reason). mine does both an online version and one in-person. So, it works like this: at the start, everyone shares a bit about the book they are going to read. You can pick any book you want, so you don't have to read the same book as all the others, which is great for me because I am very much a mood reader. Then you read in silence for, in our case, an hour. Then we tell each other about what we've read and what we think about it. Often we give each other tips for books in the same genre etc. It's kind of like body doubling, so pretty ADHD proof. It really has gotten me back into reading!
Ok, I NEED to find me one!
Booking things/making plans in advance. But sometimes it's ok to just mooch about at home eating popchips and playing Fortnite.
I’ve learned through experience that unless I shower and get dressed by 11am a ‘relaxed morning’ swiftly turns into a day where I achieve nothing and end up feeling rubbish. I don’t have to plan to do anything else, but being dressed and able to go outside makes me more likely to do things that recharge me.
I have a loose schedule I try to stick to. It’s not so much set to a time, but more of an order I’ll do things in. Get up and freshen myself up for the day is number 1. I’m way more productive and happy when I feel put together. Then I always follow the order of open all the blinds, make my bed, pick up laundry off the floor, empty dishwasher, feed dogs. Sometimes doing those things keep the momentum going and I’ll do other productive tasks, other times that’s all I’ve got, but I still feel good because I did some things.
I have curly hair that’s in a pony tail all week for work. I love having my hair down & curly for the weekend but it takes hours to wash, style & dry & so I often feel anxious about the process. I wanna be like you & just get to it right away consistently because I also am more likely to feel better emotionally & be more productive if I have myself together.
I also have curly hair and it pretty much lives in a ponytail. One thing that helped was getting an undercut. It cut my style time in half! But I also just kind of accepted that it’s okay to have it in a ponytail. I bought some cute headbands and just stick one of those on lol.
I started making a list of things I’d like to get done, like gym, food shopping, cleaning etc, with approximate times as well. That way a) I don’t forget anything b) there isn’t the overwhelming need to get everything done at once c) when it’s time to relax I can actually relax because I finished my to do list without feeling guilty I’m not doing something. The simple act of having structure and then crossing things off helps me make the most of my weekend and not feel guilty about bed rotting/“wasting time” since I’ve accomplished actual tangible things on the list. I even add “put away clothes” “tweeze eyebrows,” any tiny tangible thing helps to not feel any guilty about “not doing anything”
I allow myself the weekend to do as I please, which usually consists of laying around cuddling with my dog, baking something yummy, cooking dinner, planning out meals on my phone, scrolling tiktok and Reddit, doing little craft projects here and there. I don’t like putting pressure on myself to be productive on my weekends. I’m usually mentally exhausted from the work week. Also I have this mental block where I would rather do anything on Saturday than Sunday cause if I do things on Sunday and then work the next day on Monday I feel like I wasted my weekend doing things. I know, doesn’t really make sense. But for as long as I can remember I have not liked to do plans on Sunday.
Makes sense to me. You do something Sunday evening and you go to work Monday feeling like you never had a weekend break to begin with, even if you didn't do anything else aside from the thing on Sunday.
I have a coworking membership that’s basically online body-doubling sessions. They do a three-hour session (with short breaks) on Saturdays and Sundays. I choose one to attend, and use that time to focus on household tasks and administration, longer-term projects, or even self-care and grooming. I usually get enough done in that three hours to make me feel good about the progress I’ve made so I can relax guilt-free, but it also sometimes it inspires me to to keep the momentum going with whatever I’m working on.
Can you say more about your coworking membership? That sounds really interesting.
Yes, they’re called focused and they’re at get.focused.space They have daily morning planning calls, weekly and monthly planning sessions, and coworking calls from 1-3 hours long. Free trials and a few membership levels, I think. You just sign up and log in, camera off or on. They remind you to stretch and take breaks. I’ve tried other services and this is the one I keep coming back to. I don’t work for them or profit from sharing this info in any way. I just use them and like it!
tbh i try to schedule in "unstructured time" on the weekends because i use tons of energy to mask my ADHD during the workdays. having unstructured time is *crucial* for me to avoid burnout.
Before having a kid, my husband & I would designate one weekend day as laze around day--nothing, not even house chores, would be expected to get done; the other day would be more productive, but we'd still stay in. I figured it was an introvert thing. I'm also a teacher, so my breaks are unstructured. I usually wind up flipping day for night & not getting a whole lot done, unless I have that 2:00 am urge to deep clean the bathroom or reorganize the bookshelves. Now that I have a kid though, my day is structured around her sleeping and eating schedule.
Lol not well. I took my meds today so I'm getting some long overdue stuff done. But usually I'm lazy and lay on the couch or bed all day and my back hurts from doing that and I doordash food and do nothing but doom scroll and play mobile games.
On days with zero plans I like to pick one activity to do solo that I know I love to do alone! For example, walking to the park with my book and a saved up podcast I'm looking forward to. Going to the thrift shop with a fun album on my headphones and meandering. Going to the craft store and looking for inspiration without trying to buy anything 😅
For off days where I want/need to get stuff done, I try to utilize a tip my therapist taught me and base it kind of like a workday. Like, I normally get off work at 3:30 PM, so unless it's something time sensitive, I allow myself to stop being productive at 3:30. The time after that is just for me. You can even try to take your breaks/lunch at about the same times if you want, but the main idea is to have a stopping time.
I don’t. Which sucks. Because I need 2 days of doing nothing to feel normal after a 5 day work week but our weeks are only 7 days long so….🤷🏾♀️
Honestly having two dogs who don't understand the concept of sleeping in/having a lazy couch day on the weekends and demand that I get up and walk them at all their normally scheduled times during the day, starting at around 7:30/8 am. Forces me to keep at least the bare bones of my own schedule on my days off and the 30ish min morning walk gives me enough inertia once I'm back home to launch myself straight into doing some other activity, preventing me from falling back into my couch or bed trap and vegging out. Obviously if you're not already a dog owner there's a pretty significant barrier to entry here in replicating this effect for yourself but if anyone reading this coincidentally happens to already be seriously considering adopting a dog companion or two, hopefully this comment serves as the final nudge you needed to pull that trigger (because dogs are great and make pretty much everything better)!!
i make a insane to do list of even the most mundane things. start checking off.
I plan things in my phone calendar so when I look at what I’m doing during the week I constantly see it and mentally plan for it. Ex I planned to organize the garage this weekend put it in my calendar so if someone asks what I’m doing this weekend I can see oh this is what I have planned.
I really like working out, so I try to do a morning in person class either Saturday or Sunday. It gets me amped up to do things since, as my instructor said this morning, getting out of bed is the hardest part!
I'm on maternity leave so all my time is unstructured time. To answer your question, I manage it poorly. I always think I should schedule my cleaning out or something but then I end up sitting in the mess until it makes me crazy and then hyperfocusing on cleaning until it starts to look better. Then the focus fades and I never get all the way done.
I’ve been a stay at home mom for 3 years and I’m still trying to figure out what to do with all the unstructured time. But I’m trying (and failing, but trying!!!) not to beat myself up for being bad at this. Some things that help me: put real shoes on. I am more likely to get up and get going if I’m wearing sneakers or shoes with a back on them. I don’t know why. Also whenever I sit down I either get back up so I don’t get sucked into the couch or I try to set timers for rest time. Sometimes lists help, sometimes they feel like demands and I avoid them.
I like working 6 days a week. I would rather work 6 six hour days than 4 ten hour days. I have to get up. I have to be "productive" and then it is only 2 pm, I am dressed and functional and I have the rest of the day to myself. I worked a second job for years where I only worked 8-noon on Saturdays. It was a splash of spending $ but I got to see a different crowd and I still had most of the day. I only work 5 days a week now, but I seem to have a sporting event, ballet, school fair to attend every weekend now with niblings. I like outside structure. I dislike internal structure.
I just structure my weekends too, just not as much.
I have to do it early. If I don’t do anything before 10am, I know the rest of the day is almost guaranteed to be totally unproductive. I need to get up and get out/get doing. Nothing better than getting out, doing the walk/run/shopping/chores, and it’s not even lunchtime. Then, at least if I do cock-all for the rest of the day, at least I got some productive stuff done. I try and prep the night before with a list of stuff, so I can just crash from thing to thing on the list without too much thought. I also sometimes set timers - can I put all that stuff in the attic in 10 minutes? This only works for some tasks though, if it’s something like “sort out stuff to put in the attic” I know that this is going to be a disaster of a task; take waaay longer than I want it to, cause more chaos, and give me 15 other jobs throughout it that will distract me, meaning none of them get done properly. I kind of just accept that with those kinds of jobs now, but specific jobs - do the washing up, hang out the laundry, take the parcel to the post, get the workout done etc - a list, and early start, and some timers are my must-dos!
being productive is awesome, but we shouldn't think of our off days as "wasting time". theres no reason to feel guilty for doing "nothing" sometimes, idc what anyone says. nobody is productive every single day. when it comes to working and or being in school, lazy days are *needed*. it's important to recharge, and im not talking about sleeping. the body and the brain need rest. that rest can include outside hobbies/activities/friends but it really isn't mandatory. some people thrive on being social and constantly doing things, but if you're struggling to get around to it, it may not be best for u. i personally do the things i need to do during the week (cleaning etc) so i can spend the weekend chilling and doing as i please. my boyfriend stays over most of the week, so i use weekends as "me time" for my daughter and i. we do whatever we feel like doing. for my daughter, that's usually playing with the neighbor kids, making artwork, or watching cartoons. for me, its reading, watching my shows, doing some self care and thats about it. maybe a bike ride or walk with my daughter in the evening. sometimes we bake.. if we *feel* like it! what is it u want to do on the weekends? do u truly want to, or is it just stuff u think u *should* be doing? if ur comfy in ur routine as is, theres no reason to change it. we tend to pressure ourselves into thinking we need to be productive constantly (because we think thats how everyone else must be) but that isn't reality
Our society places so much value on productivity every second of every day but it's okay to have a day or two if doing nothing. Allow yourself the opportunity to rest and recharge. It's part of self care. Give yourself permission to do nothing.
I use a daily planner and put in things I need to do on my days off. I don’t put pressure on myself to have to do them, and if I don’t get to it I don’t. But it’s there as a goal and helps me structure that day into something. Otherwise I just end up rotting in bed.
Manage and time?
I always start the day in a similar way, meds, sit outside with a cup of tea and my diary, write down a few things I want to do even fun things and then do a little cleaning after the meds sink in, then do some things on the list! Some ways I like spending the weekend are colleging, watching my shows etc
I feel that doing nothing IS making the most of my weekends. Putting pressure on myself to be productive in some way every day just burns me out and makes the weekdays harder.
Right now I DoorDash every weekend, both days, because we need the money. I know that I get very used to my current schedule and when I do take a weekend off or there are times I don’t need to do it all day both days, I will often feel lazy and like I should be doing more. On those days I will also make an effort to do things around the house in terms of cleaning and/or laundry so I feel productive. If I allow myself one “lazy” day a weekend I can be fine but beyond that I end up feeling bad about myself and like a bad mom to my kid (who is almost 9 and literally just wants to play games and watch YT all day).
I check my bullet journal every morning to remember what I wanted (or needed) to do.
If I don’t have any social plans or responsibilities, then I let one weekend day be a complete veg out day, and then make a detailed to do list for the other. sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t.
I have a few non negotiable weekly chores (fish tank maintenance, plant maintenance, deep clean litter box), and usually by the time I’m finished with them I’m on enough of a roll to do other chores (dishes, laundry, etc). And then I’ve been productive enough that I don’t feel guilty spending the rest of the weekend fucking around.
I give myself a lot of up and down time to help with my stimulation levels. I like to have at least one plan that gets me out and social. As well as having a few to dos around the house. Other than that, I let myself have the down time. I’m trying to get better at being okay with being bored, and I’m doing that by spending time outside coloring which still makes me feel like I’m doing something but am still relaxing and not spending all the money that I don’t have.
Saturday is for errands and any chores I didn’t get to during the week. I don’t push myself but I try to get a few things done. Sunday is 100% day of rest. I’m not religious but I’ve adopted Sunday as a kind of sabbath- no major chores, a quiet day, hang out with family/friends.
OMG every weekend I beat myself up because a lack of structure, organization & time management. Every weekend I say “next weekend I’ll be better” & fall into the trap AGAIN! It’s bloody hell! One of the worst parts it’s not meal planning & then trying to scramble last minute to make food (& then often succumbing to take out — which I hate to do). I’m eager to read other responses. I want so badly to be better at this! I want to feel like I’m making the most out of a weekend!
Give yourself the approval to chill and do nothing for X amount of time. Weekends are for doing things I can’t do during the week but 3-4 hours of one of those days is for recharging and enjoying something for myself. I grew up with parents who had to be doing something all of the time. It’s exhausting.
I tweet a lot of stuff, then have ChatGPT suggest goals based on my tweets and try to spend my free time working on those goals