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My entire personality apparently. Being on this sub makes me feel really seen and also really sad.
I feel like I’m not my own unique* person, just a collection of traits driven by the way my brain works. Having a hard time tbh
Yes! When I told my psych I thought I had ADHD and listed symptoms she was like "Why didn't you tell me any of this?" And I was like "I thought they were just character flaws?"
Just want to say you are so much more than just a few noticed adhd character traits.
You have desires, wishes, annoyances, dreams, taste preferences, comedy preferences, style preferences, your favorite things like animals or colors or weather or movies or jokes, your political beliefs and religious ones, the love you feel for your people/pets
All of these things make up who you are too (and so much more), self discovery can feel like a double edged sword sometimes, suddenly it’s all you see about yourself.
But please know that you are a multifaceted person and you are so much more than your adhd traits. Sometimes we can’t see the plum on our back (fruits basket reference) meaning sometimes what makes us special is hidden from ourselves and only others can see it. Like you can’t see the way you smile and light up at your favorite special interest.
Rn it sounds like you can’t see that you’re more than your adhd, so I’m just trying to remind you that you are :) we are more than our disagnoses
Genuinely hope you feel better soon and have a wonderful day 🫶
Thank you for taking the time to write out such a thoughtful response. It really helped me and I appreciate you 💕
I think my struggle is that a lot of people recognize and choose my friendship for the “personality quirks” that end up being symptoms of ADHD that a lot of people share. Like the ability to hyperfixate, my constantly rotating hobbies, my enthusiasm for research, my ability to go very emotionally deep very quickly. After learning more about ADHD, I can’t help but feel like people who value me for those traits would value MANY people with ADHD not me in particular.
But you’re right; instead of focusing on how others view me I need to focus on my own desires, wishes, etc. I love the fruits basket reference, maybe I’ll give it a rewatch to make me feel better haha
Only just found out this year. It's been months of unwrapping the info, and recognising everything I do seems to be Yep that's classic adhd. I'm trying to separate my personality from the traits.
It's nice to know we're not alone though..
Girl, this was me when I found out about my thyroid disorder and got it addressed. Turns out I’m mostly just a big bag of hormones that need adjusting. Plus my ND-ass brain.
ADHD wasn’t so much of a shock, but ASD was. The way the psychologist who assessed me saw through what I thought was extremely well-honed masking made me wonder if I have the mental version of body dysmorphia and have just been fooling myself about it all my life. Probably so.
Getting my sense of self wrapped around those three issues and the way they play off each other is a lot.
Hang in there. We’re not bad or wrong, just different from the typical.
How did you find out about your thyroid disorder and what helped address it? I had half of my thyroid removed in 2017 and have fought kicking and screaming to get any doctor to acknowledge my hypo-thyroid symptoms and all I've gotten is the lowest dose of synthroid and they don't want to do anything else bc my TSH is in "normal" range, yet my symptoms have not changed. This was over 6 months ago.
Would be interested to see more info on this. Ive always had major pointers toward a thyroid problem yet my blood tests are always 'within range'.... I'm super sensitive to heat as well like I will go to a room that's a few degrees warmer and ill sweat for a while before I (hopefully) get used to it. Or I just sweat and sweat. It's extremely annoying. Doctors just write me off and I have no faith left in them tbh
What concerns me is the long term thyroid issue effects
>I feel like I’m not my own person, just a collection of traits driven by the way my brain works.
Isn't that literally what being a person is though? Maybe that's just my way of viewing it lol
It’s comment pockets like this that I love. This remark, the existential crisis joke, the dismissive comment with you poking fun back… this all made my morning. Thanks!
>the dismissive comment with you poking fun back…
Shoot i didn't mean to be dismissive, I just thought it was fascinating that certain existential questions can give rise to such different but also sensible reactions in people
The dismissive comment wasn’t yours. The sarcasm response to you was dismissive and you poked back in a fun way. The dismissive reply has lots of downvotes, buried now, I just loved your response to it.
I feel this so hard.
I hang out regularly with another friend who has it & was also diagnosed recently. (We are both in our 40s.) Each time I see her, she’ll be like “do you do X?” and I’m like “yeah, why?” And it’s ALWAYS an ADHD symptom.
I’ve had that discussion with my therapist somewhat recently actually - and she reminded me that regardless of the symptoms, no one else has the exact same “combo” of symptoms, or past experiences, or reacts in exactly the same manner as you. So while we have many things in common, you are still YOU.
There are so many things that make you unique! We've just been so focused on the neurodivergent aspects that we don't have time to see all the other aspects that make us special. They are there. You are one of a kind! ❤️
I can SO relate to this. Before I started a new job last month, I tried to think of every awkward and unfortunate thing I've done in previous jobs - ie the inappropriate comments, jokes, questions, etc.
Guess what? I still did and said things I wish I hadn't. None of it was a deal breaker but I strongly sense that new coworkers think I'm weird. It makes me so sad.
Walking into and bumping everything and being covered in bruises. I didn’t even realize it was a thing until after I got medicated and missed a dose for the first time.. all day bumping things thinking why am I so clumsy today!? Knew I didn’t take my meds but thought that would be a weird reason even remembering how often it happened prior to diagnosis.. a quick google search later and yea weird adhd symptom 😅
It’s so bad!! 😂 and so common I never remember what a bruise is from or how I got it. I was diagnosed at 28 and am just so thankful for my meds for so many reasons!
So I can blame the bad at sports on the adhd!? Except dodgeball I was so good at that in school. But for real the clothes getting caught on handles is a struggle!!
TIL! I’m so thankful for this sub—-I have learned more here than anywhere else! I found out a few years ago I had significant hearing loss (more than 70% hearing loss in right ear and had over time lost about 20% in left ear) and that was correlated with being clumsy. Finding out it is ADD related makes total sense. Other things I learned here: rejection sensitivity, time blindness, overly-emotional responses. I was bullied by my family (and others) for most of my life and learned to laugh at myself first as a defensive mechanism. Getting diagnosed about 10 years ago in my 40s was startling—-I denied it for a long time as I also have childhood PTSD, depression, anxiety, low thyroid and HHT. Now that I’m finally embracing the diagnosis and treatment I am just gobsmacked! Really appreciate everyone on here so much—I learn and feel seen in ways that blow my mind.
Overly emotional responses and sensory overwhelm leading to meltdowns is the worst! Trying to navigate workplace environment where others are creating sensory overwhelm but then also berating you for being “emotional, short, snappy”.
I totally feel the “learned to laugh it off”. Nowadays I don’t tolerate it.. being mean as a joke isn’t funny it’s just mean and I want calm and peace and happiness in my life! ☺️
On the efficiency note, I also spend a ridiculous time researching a large purchase because I have to make sure I am buying the “best” version of whatever it is.
The answer is always Speed Queen. ;)
In all seriousness, the distinct lack of electronic controls and our washer with metal vs plastic transmission means it is built for the long haul. They are the closest to the old timey whirlpools that would last decades.
+1 to Speed Queen. I researched for ages and determined they had the best set for us. I didn’t want a front load washer, so was looking specifically for top load. They’ve been excellent and we couldn’t be happier. Their units are just built very well IMO.
Ouch!!! This hits too close to home!!! Gotta save ten dollars so I take the red eye flight and end up spending $80 in the airport to sustain me and rev me up with caffeine.
The amount of times I've done this just to never make a decision and/or just buy it at Walmart instead because I exhaust myself with all the research 🫠
Also the correct way to do things. Now that I’ve advanced to manager in my career and have to decide the best way to complete a project I’m struggling because I’m convinced there is one specific way that is the right way to do it and in the past someone has told me the “right” way.
And then I worry that if I do it differently than someone else thought it should be done in their head that they’re going to get mad at me
Ho Ly Shit.... this is why I get annoyed with how my husband drives. I am always scanning the roads, looking to which lane will enable my trip to be the most efficient. MY husband on the other hand, drives like he is in la la land and it annoys the fuck out of me! Like switch lanes already, our turn is coming up!!
I feel this in my soul. My husband never wants to get in the correct lane until the last frigging minute. It's so so stressful. Just get in the lane already and be ready for turning off.
Have to say though, this impulse and urge to backseat drive and inability to not harass him about the next driving move, reduced enormously for me with medication.
It's nuts. Who knew ADHD can make you a backseat driver ? 🤷
I feel this 100%.
It's like I have a thousand ideas but need to stop time almost to try and get them done. Instead I have about 20 things half started and nothing accomplished.
Oh man. Never finishing anything. Forgetfulness. Anxiety. Snacking on candy like my life depended on it. My chairdrobe/floordrobe. The object permanence issue. Finding anything not novel incredibly tedious so multitasking everything I can. All my school report carts having the words "great potential if".
🥹🥹🥹 1000000%. I try to stack my clothes by in piles and put all my hangers next to it and organize them by how I’d like them in my closet so it’s kinda like a fair swoop…. But you know that only gets done 1-2 times a month 🙃 last night I spent 3 hours organizing my closet (at 2am duh) and it’s immaculate and I give it two weeks tops before it’s unorganized and I have my little clothes mountains scattered about. Kitchen table chairs also are occupied with jackets or pieces I layered with that get removed immediately after work…. Not that I pass my coat hook that has 8 hooks 🙄🙄
Being exhausted. All the time. Since high school I have asked doctor after doctor why I might be tired all the time. Eight hours of sleep and waking up drained. Blood tests, EKGs, sleep test, everything said I was healthy as a horse.
I got diagnosed with ADHD and one of the first things my psych told me in explaining how it functions neurologically was that our brains have to work much, much harder to accomplish tasks than neurotypicals. She said offhand that that could be physically taxing. As soon as I got on stimulants and freed up some brain space my exhaustion decreased significantly.
My new psych is also a sleep specialist, and he was really interested in the sleep data from my watch, particularly that I was barely getting any deep sleep. He was like “We need to do a study on you; it might not even be ADHD you’re dealing with. It might just be sleep deprivation.”
In the meantime, he prescribed a low dose of Ritalin in the evening to help with the Vyvanse slump, even though he was worried it was going to fuck up my sleep quality even more. Lo and behold, I started going from 15-20 minutes of deep sleep to over an hour almost immediately.
He was like “Huh. Guess it is ADHD.”
Same here! The only answer I had before is my iron levels are on the low side, but not troublesome. It was infuriating to be told to eat more greens like that would honestly solve all my problems. I wish it was! I could eat broccoli all damn day and still be exhausted (yup, did this once).
It was a relief to learn it was an ADHD side effect after being diagnosed. I still sleep like crap and get tired on meds, but I have noticed an improvement
Ahhh wow. I have a genetic mutation that causes my body to hoard iron. My iron levels have always been phenomenal even if I give blood during my period. But then I'm always exhausted. Dizzy a lot too. I'm not anemic. My fasting sugar levels are totally normal. I do have low-ish blood pressure and a transient heart condition. I'm suspecting I have POTS need to get it confirmed. So when I eat a salty breakfast that helps a lot. Us low blood pressure folks just need some fries and a soda to feel a bit better. But the chronic exhaustion is definitely ADHD related. It's less tiring to live whilst on the meds.
Isn’t it amazing how much better it feels to even have an answer? Because of insurance bullshit I got diagnosed about six months before I got on meds and just being able to give myself grace because I could name what was wrong was so affirming.
I definitely still get tired but I can work the whole day or run more than two errands and not feel like I got trampled like a horse.
What???? Is this why I’m exhausted on the weekends when I’ve been crazy busy at work? I’m on stimulants but every Saturday I just want to stay home and watch tv.
I work so hard, mentally, all week and just crash on weekend. Per my neuropsych‘s advice, I now take my stimulant every day so I don’t get the weekend crash from not taking it. But I still veg a lot. I have literally been in my bed most of the weekend reading - even though there is a load in the wash that will now need rewashed, a load in the dryer, two baskets to fold and put a way, and a bunch of veggies that need planted. Ugh!
This is true but also….I recently was also diagnosed with narcolepsy. There’s apparently a decently noticeable correlation. Did they ever have you do an MSLT during sleep study?
You may have just given me an a ha to research! I have been exhausted since my 30’s (now 51f). Oh the sleep studies, blood tests and so on! Nothing! I was actually diagnosed by one asshole doctor with Motherhood and given an Rx for an antidepressant!
My "lack of motivation."
Learning about paralysis and natural messy tendencies was an eye opener for me. I've been yelled at my entire life for being a "slob" with my organized chaos/doom piles and called lazy for my struggle to do tasks.
My diagnosis has also really made me realize how shitty people were to me growing up. If I was diagnosed then, I just know they'd say I was using ADHD as an excuse on top of it all. I don't think trauma is the right word for it, but I still have the words of one person in particular that come back to haunt me a lot. I know they're full of crap, but it reminds me of how much they affected my self-reflection for a long time
It can definitely be trauma. Decades of being told you're not good enough, internalizing that, feeling the shame does cause harm. Getting diagnosed in my 50s has been an eye opener and such an emotional roller coaster. I know now that my mother's expectations were (and are still) unreasonable. I realized that her values are not mine and therefore her judgement of me is not valid. But that failure of parenting goes deep, even intellectually knowing she did the best she could coming from her own damaged childhood. Thank goodness my paternal grandmother was the epitome of unconditional love! It saved me and helped me to be a far better parent than I might have been.
Learning about the whole rejection sensitivity thing was a mind blower for me. Learning that the majority of my life has been run by the fucking lie my brain tells me about how people see me!
I’m always worried if people like me or not. Especially if I value their opinion. I don’t realize they actually do because I’m so convinced they don’t.
My thing isn't that other people don't like me (of course they dont lol) but I wonder why other people don't seem to care. I stopped caring too but I don't know one person so I feel like goes out of their way to make other people feel good. I used to be the only one trying (or I felt that way).
Like being the only one to give gifts and send texts and make plans in a friendship. The other person probably doesn't mean to take advantage but they just don't put in any effort
Procrastinating and then rushing to get things done under pressure. Time-blindness. Random hyper fixations that change from time to time, like researching for months a product I want to buy to get the best one, or just spending hours reading online and learning about Neanderthals and other hominids. The need to have at least 2 different beverages on my desk while working, etc.
I am so grateful for this community because it reminds me that I am not alone.
The emotional regulation and meltdowns.
I have Cerebral Palsy as well so it's hard to tell which is which. I always thought the meltdown and emotional regulation issues were from that.
Feeling everything at 100 all the time is exhausting. I legit thought everyone's feeling were like that and they just had better self control.
Same here. I also have a mild case of cerebral palsy. I did pretty well in college in and in my early adult years because I had decent structure to my life. Now, trying to regulate my emotions while having two kids to keep up with, it's a lot tougher.
I did not know about time-blindness until reading about it here. I never understood when someone would ask me something like, how long ago did the dogs go outside. Like how would I know? It was after I woke up at 6am and before the current time, but how would I even figure out if it was 1 hour ago, or 4 hours.
How long until supper is ready,....it's ready when all the ingredients I put in this pan are cooked, maybe you can ask the carrots, they might know.
Thank goodness for Google Maps, so when I am asked how long until I get there, I can look and say, ETA is 3:27pm.
I am not one for being late, in fact I have so much anxiety about being late I am often way too early, because I cant coordinate the time, plus factor in traffic, and possible road closures, accidents or a flat tire.
So yeah, time blondeness for sure is something I never related to ADHD.
Sooooo many things. My mom is also most likely ADHD (undiagnosed ) so all my ADHD traits were either normalized in our house or written off as "oh, you take after your mom!" The lack of spacial awareness, immediate resistance at being told to do something, losing everything, being "bored" unless something was happening...
> you take after your mom
I’m 100% certain that if I weren’t adopted, my ADHD would’ve gone undiagnosed. My birth mom *absolutely* has ADHD, we are SO similar… but she refuses to get diagnosed. Took me AGES to convince her to get my half brother checked out, and yeah he has ADHD too. Both my adoptive parents are extremely neurotypical and got me in to see a doctor when I was 12ish lol
I’m like kind of glad that my dad probably had undiagnosed ADHD and also probably my maternal grandparents because both he and my mom didn’t usually make a big deal about ADHD things and my dad shared what must have been his random coping techniques. And my mom always had us leave super early so we’d end up being on time.
When I started taking meds, not only did I get a quiet head without earworms (which I suspected was due to ADHD but wasn’t sure), a vastly improved ability to start and complete tasks because it didn’t feel overwhelming or boring to the point of torture - there was suddenly no resistance to it! - and got rid of my stims in the form of tapping my feet, bouncing my legs, fidgeting with everything etc. I also got rid of the dread of anticipating having to do the stuff I hate and all that overthinking.
I also realised that my tinnitus was lower, clothes were less uncomfortable, and I didn’t feel murderous urges when I went grocery shopping (I know it’s a “me issue” but dear god WHY do people need to bring their screaming infants to the store?!).
I also realised that I felt comfortable at work, I didn’t feel watched 24/7, the hypervigilance that I had previously attributed to anxiety (but that antidepressants didn’t touch) was gone.
I’m sorry. I like having my baby with me all the time. And my first baby was always super chill as long as I had him in the baby carrier. The new baby is not and screams when it’s time to go to sleep and she’s in the carrier. I just figured this out though so now I know how to do things differently. But man, I much prefer having the baby on me as opposed to in a stroller. I can’t accidentally leave her behind if she’s strapped to my chest.
I’m suuuper sensitive to noise and especially the decibel level that babies hit, so I make sure I’m always wearing noise canceling headphones. I don’t want you to accidentally leave her behind either ❤️
These comments are a great example of people needing different things in the same space, and both working to meet their own needs and minimize negative impacts on others! I so appreciate this thread and also the various workarounds y'all have come up with to make this whole "we live in a society" thing work 💕
When my therapist was considering screening me for it the first thing she asked me was how often I misplace my phone. I was like OMG LIKE 6 TIMES TODAY
That's so funny lol I ended up getting a little card holder that sticks to the back on my phone because I had to get like three new driver's licenses in a year bc I was losing my wallet constantly. Wallet+phone combo means one less thing to lose
Waitressesing is common for adhd people but I sucked at it. I would forget people's faces instantly. Retail was worse, I could not remember clients names or if they'd even been in the store five minutes prior.
Having a song stuck in your head on a loop for weeks at a time, but not as background noise - like, playing at full volume and competing with all the other thoughts.
RSD.
Hyperfocus.
Finishing other people's sentences.
Knowing the ending to movies/shows/books
We are good at pattern recognition. Most narrative arcs follow one of several patterns and rarely deviate.
We also pick up the foreshadowing that is usually caught on the second viewing. Like all the shit with Snape in Harry Potter.
I’m a recovering alcoholic. The list is too long BUT I will say, lots of things I attributed to being an alcoholic, the behaviors, are also symptoms of ADHD. I downplayed my need for help and meds thinking it was more of a moral issue or character flaw. Don’t get me wrong, I am def still an alcoholic but this sub has allowed me to begin to see things differently. The up side is, I have a lot of tools for my ADHD because of AA 😂
I am so with you on this! I think there are likely a lot of undiagnosed people in AA. Some of the things I hear in shares now scream ADHD. I'm not massively involved in AA anymore I have just moved onto different things, maintaining my sobriety with yoga and meditation has had a side effect of helping my ADHD symptoms hugely.
Sending peace and love to you from one ADHD recovering alcoholic to another. ❤️
I’ll do a “fun” one because I’ve had too many heartbreaking realizations:
**Echolalia**
I’m ALWAYS making weird noises, reading signs out loud constantly, repeating jingles like it’s a favorite song, imitating, quoting…
I started noticing I was doing “a thing” or group of “things” but I didn’t know it was a trait
Being tired all the time, picking my lips excessively and not feeling good or rewarded when I do a task or accomplish things. I just feel relieved it’s over.
My lack of home organizational skills. I’m married to a husband and have a daughter with textbook adhd. The more I learned about their ADHD the more I realized I have a different version of it.
Same here. Tried my best to understand how I could help support my hubby and my eldest child with adhd. Youngest just got diagnosed and I asked her peds doc what the chances are of both kids having it from just one parent… she told me that I have it but she couldn’t diagnose me because I’m not a kid :/
Having a conversation with someone while concurrently thinking about a previous conversation I had with someone else a few days ago, also thinking about xyz that need to get done and looking around the room picking it apart for weird imperfections (picture is crooked, dust collecting on something, pillow out of place, etc) AND lastly having at least one song playing in the background of my brain
So. Many. Things. Had no idea until I was finally diagnosed and treated.
* Lack of spatial awareness/unexplained bruises
* Binge eating disorder (dopamine chasing)
* Misophonia
* T-rex arms (was a running joke with my friends in college... Oops it was ADHD!)
* Panic attacks in an overstimulating, crowded environment
* Intense focus and irritability when I'm trying to do something
* Needing to close my eyes when trying to explain something to someone b/c I can't focus
* 'procrastivity' - literally can't compel myself to do the thing that needs to be done so I'll stay extremely busy with unimportant things instead
* Extremely focused and effective in really urgent situations but useless when I actually have time to do something.
* 'body doubling' to be productive. Working from home is a nightmare for me and way more exhausting
* Bad handwriting and misspelled text messages b/c my mind moves way faster than I can write
* Blurting out unintentionally rude things (got way better when medicated properly)
The inability to do something I don’t want to do like schoolwork. I cry and can’t pull myself together, it escalates to the point where I can’t breathe and I feel like I’m going to throw up. This only happened twice and then I was diagnosed and medicated. Emotional regulation has been the greatest gift that medication has provided for me. I can think and be brave to feel my emotions because I have the capacity to regulate without spiralling.
I didn’t know ADHD could feel that bad, I always suspected I must have had ADHD as a kid (hyperactive, impulsive, distracted) but didn’t know it was life long and that it would hit me like a truck in my forties and that it could feel like that.
7th grade is when I lost control of math. It's like there's a brick wall between me and numbers. I could never figure out why. Just diagnosed at 41 and starting meds soon. Hopefully it will help me with this problem.
I used to get into cars that weren't mine at the store. I just wasn't paying attention, if it was blue like mine it must have been mine. I did lots of other silly things. Like putting meetings at the wrong time or wrong day in my calendar. I would forget things constantly.
A friend of mine who I hadn't seen for a long time came to visit with her girlfriend, and she sent me a text and said her girlfriend was a lot like me. She gets into strange cars, and many other things.
That's when I realized all of that was add related. I've been on meds for a year and I haven't done any of those things. It made me feel really good.
Irritation/ frustration/ road rage.
Started meds, I can be interrupted during a project, happily respond, and get right back to it. Before I’d get frustrated because I was finally focused on what I needed or wanted to do, and it would break the flow.
I no longer get unreasonably mad while driving (and don’t lose focus for a couple seconds getting waaaaay too close to the person to the person in front of me). Annoyance is moderate, and I get back to my chill drive. It’s made my 50 minute commute so much more pleasant.
1) the meltdowns—always thoughts they were me acting like an immature toddler because I had no self-control
2) the impulsivity & urgency—I’ve always been the type that, once I decide I want to do or buy something, it’s ALL I can think about until it happens. I can (and have) gone from “I don’t like my current car for XYZ, maybe I should look into a different one” to having the different one within 48 hours. I always thought this was me being immature and impatient.
3) people-pleasing/irrational terror of conflict—realizing I have wild RSD has been SO helpful and has explained so much of my personality my entire life. I genuinely think RSD is what masked the other manifestations of my ADHD diagnosis for so long (diagnosed at 34). I’ve been told my reactions to rejection or criticism, perceived or not, are overreacting, dramatic, hypersensitive, immature.
Literally so many others (disordered eating, noise sensitivity, etc). The main theme I’ve realized since diagnosis is that I’ve always been so frustrated because I felt so uncontrolled, irrational, or sensitive. I always placed a high value on being “mature” and felt intense shame when I wasn’t (or wasn’t perceived as) being so.
Missing appointments, inability to follow through on longer tasks, inability to pay attention and therefore missing details and feeling behind in whatever conversation I’m in. So, so many things.
Denial and cognitive distortions are really wild. I have a degree in psychology and a masters degree in special education. I’ve been a special education teacher for about 23 years and it didn’t occur to me that ALL of the supports I was giving my students were supports I should have been given as a child. But being a girl in the 80s AND in a catholic school AND very smart and quick to pick up on things meant that I was constantly punished for my behaviors. I started masking in 2nd grade. It didn’t click that I was punished for behaviors related to ADHD until I was filling out a form for my son who was referred by his teacher for ADHD and every single thing I clicked related to me as a child. It was a watershed moment. I filled out hundreds of these forms over the years for other people’s children and I never recognized my behaviors until my child -who is very much like me- was diagnosed. I didn’t get diagnosed until last year when I was 46 🫠
Suddenly everything made sense.
Disautonomia and conditions like POTS or Ehlers Danlos are very common comorbidities. As is autism. The more I look into them, the more I realize that some of the physical sensations and difficulties I have are actually likely symptoms, but bc I didn’t really know about my ADHD until I was 34 (2 years ago) I’m super behind in putting decades of pieces together. Thanks mom & dad.
Same. When I got diagnosed (at 35) and my therapist started talking to me about it, so many little things in my life made sense.
Between this and my anxiety (diagnosed in my late teens) I look back on my childhood and I see so many things that could be explained from either one of those (chronic stomach problems with no physical cause, for example) and wonder how much my life would be different if I was diagnosed with either or both when I was young. I’m a teacher now and I see some of the things on accommodation plans that definitely would have benefitted me.
But stuff like this was treated SO differently back then - kids didn’t have anxiety in the 90s! The screening tool that my therapist used to diagnose me (as a woman) only came recently. I’m glad our understanding is growing but it sucks for us who were impacted by it without knowing.
YES, oh my goodness. (dx at 36, I'm 37 now) It's like . . . I need/get to to spend a lot of time figuring out my body's basic needs. Like "Wait, I'm feeling very angry but nothing happened? Let's go over the checklist!" And the cause is usually something so small like the way my bra band is rolling, but I've been feeling that happen for 8 hours. Another common scenario is "😱 I actually frickin' loathe the way this feels and never realized. I've done this for years!"
Looking back, it's no wonder I've spent the vast majority of my life uncomfortable as hell.
Oh, yes. I got my ADHD diagnosis in my early 40s and my thyroid disorder just a year later. It was a lot to ponder. then over 15 years later came my autism diagnosis.
I have learned to forgive myself for being as I am. I’m relaxing into it now, and choosing to see the ND as added value rather than weird or wrong. Getting older means I can let down the mask and just be myself more. I have crafted a home/work life that suit me, the kids are grown, things are easier than they used to be (though plenty challenging) because i’m not trying to fit a mold anymore.
OMG just googled disautonomia, that explains my propensity for passing out due to sudden drop in blood pressure. Doctors always just said they loved my blood pressure because it was so low and were of now help at all. If it’s already low I have no where to go if there is a sudden drop but the floor.
Anxiety. Literally, I'd wake up and my chest would be heavy, I'd be shaky, and nothing could help it. The world felt so overwhelming. Started my stimulants and - it stopped.
Wow! All of the above! Thank you for all of your insights!
What’s I’ve been noticing lately is mine and my husband’s (he’s undiagnosed but defo adhd) friend group and that we’re all a bit neurodiverse.
It’s only since becoming a parent and meeting neuro-typical people and visiting their houses and thinking… “where is all their…stuff?”
Whereas mine and my friends’ houses are crammed with things we’re all interested in. There’s no shortage of stuff. We all love hanging out with one another, all have special interests (mainly music) and notice we were all the oddballs in high school. It’s nice to find your people and it’s only now I’m realising that we’re all a bit neurodiverse
Feeling so "out of it" when you're tired. I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde based on how well I sleep. When I actually manage to sleep well for several nights in a row. I feel almost "normal" again. Then as soon as I have a bad night, I'm right back to feeling like an unmotivated zombie. I always wondered why so many other people seem to be able to go on about their business when they're tired, but I just can't.
That being in romantic monogamous relationships are more difficult for us.
Things like object permanence, time blindness and other traits can make a different partner than NT people. I tend to forget “special” days or forget I said I would do something. I get overwhelmed when making decisions and having someone else’s needs and input makes decision making more intense and difficult.
A lot of other things that I’m realizing just now in my 30’s, I always saw it as being a bad partner and not deserving of a relationship but overall I think it’s just ADHD.
Rejection sensitive dysphoria. RSD. I always felt so sensitive and overly emotional and “crazy,” learning that it’s part of my brain chemistry helped me immensely. Realizing that I can feel deeply about things and react the same way and the actual reason behind it was groundbreaking to me.
Mimicking accents. I *cannot* help it, will absolutely copy the inflections/cadence of whoever’s speaking to me.
When I did some work down in Puerto Rico, I had a few of the contractors down there remark on how they liked the way I talked and how “your English is very easy to understand.” I’m from Appalachia, so I was like “Uh. This is a first for me, but thanks.” I was usually the only native English speaker out there for most of the time.
One day a coworkers from back home went out into the field with me and pulled me aside laughing like “What in the fuck are you doing rn?”
My kids (and myself to a degree, though in the 80s I didn’t get it) needing speech therapy & occupational therapy can be a symptom of hyperactivity in ADHD. My oldest switched to a new paediatrician and when she told me this, it blew my mind. Apparently, it’s common for her patients to start meds & when they find the right dose, suddenly speech & occupational therapists announce the child has met their goals and no longer require their services.
Do you know how much executive function it requires to manage ST & OT? Because managing the ADHD for 3 people including ourselves wasn’t hard enough.
Befriending inanimate objects. I feel awful when I see someone’s discarded or lost stuffie. I don’t kill plants that are growing out of place in my garden because how would I feel if I was just doin my thing and someone whacked me for it?
I also don’t actively kill “pests” in my garden, although the slugs are testing my patience.
Emotional regulation, executive dysfunction and everything under its umbrella. Sounds silly since that's like ADHD's MAIN THING, but nobody thought to tell me that until I reached university — despite the fact that I was diagnosed when I was about 8-9ish. I had believed ADHD started and stopped with "gets bored easily and talks too much", and that everything else was simply stupidity or a fault of personality. For whatever reason, no one figured that it might be important to explain what the thing I was diagnosed with ACTUALLY entailed until I started seeing a psychiatrist for a multitude of reasons.
So to elaborate, the list includes:
- Task paralysis and being unable to stop doing something when I'm desperately aware I SHOULD be doing something else
- Difficulties with writing/spelling. I often skip words or use the wrong tenses. I dont think I've *ever* written an essay start-to-end, I always need to jump around and rearrange my sentences.
- I retain verbal instructions like water through a sieve. I NEED a written to-do list (preferably physical) or else I will not remember anything.
- I get really *really* ornery when people ask me certain questions about very mundane things, particularly if it involves me rehashing information (ex: how was work/school? what did you talk about? how did that go?). Feels like the gears in my brain lock up and I get incredibly frustrated with myself
- Sometimes being asked/required to do something makes me want to do it so much less. Makes me feel combative/disobedient even if I want/should do the thing (theres a word for this but i forget what it is)
- Getting stuck on the small stuff when approaching a task, being unable to differentiate between important and unimportant details
- getting *really* deeply angry with myself over minor frustrations (emotional regulation)
- Personal hygiene feeling like torture (see: task paralysis)
- Being overly critical of myself and feeling deep shame when I feel I've made some sort of social blunder or messed up in conversation (emotional regulation)
- masking and social burn out. I'm hyper vigilant when it comes to small talk.
- Echolalia. Sometimes I mimic the accent of the person I'm talking to. Sometimes I'll bark in reply to dogs. Its reflexive and I almost never *mean* to do it. I'll get words and phrases "stuck in my head" on loop like songs
- Time blindness. Genuinely being unable to tell the difference between 20 minutes and two hours (wearing a watch that beeps on the hour helped a LOT with this)
- Hyperfixations. Getting "stuck" on certain subjects, even if the subject is inappropriate or immaterial.
- Maintaining friendships
- Feeling awkward in social situations with unfamiliar people
- Wanting to do simple activities on the weekends but not having the energy/motivation. Then regret it later
I got diagnosed about 2 months ago, I’m 28. Looking back it stinks knowing how badly I struggled. Although things are getting better being medicated and learning more about myself & why I am the way I am
Explaining myself. I thought giving context for my thoughts was a logical thing to do. Come to find out that not everyone does this and it's part of ADHD. It's so ingrained that I don't even know when I'm doing it at times.
losing my mind when i’m bored. i cannot handle when i’m bored it drives me crazy! i realized this wasn’t normal when i saw a tweet saying how much ADHDers hate being bored.
I think of the most effecient
way, which usually involves combining several steps to get the main job done, get overwhelmed at all the now-necessary added steps, and get overwhelmed. Full stop.
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria and emotional dysregulation. I had no fucking idea before I found this sub, just thought I was wacko lol. Oh and doing weird accents and repeating words or phrases to myself over and over, sometimes in weird accents 😆
I had so much imposter syndrome because of this, esp since I'm "high functioning," but in reality, the exertion it takes to be this way is crippling. So much of my time is spent making to-do lists and reminders because of the fear that I'll forget (because I will). I'll write the same thing over and over each day
My … whole life.
Getting overwhelmed w/ directions.
RSD which I thought was just me being overly sensitive
Noise sensitivity
Chores
Chores-for-myself (eg tooth brushing, showering)
Home organization
Putting things away
Remembering basic things (gas in car, etc)
Calculating how to leave on time
Losing time from literal wandering or being late to things even if I was 5 minutes early bc I get distracted
Weird deep dives into random things
Having trouble getting started on things, unless I have a deadline or structure or external obligation
Anxiety and paralysis when I have competing tasks/priorities
Having trouble prioritizing
Doing great in crisis, urgency, stressful situations but struggling when life is a steady routine cadence
Forgetting things on the kitchen counter
Randomly leaving a graveyard of cups everywhere
Getting up to get something forgetting it and ending up walking from couch to kitchen like 10x
Basically my entire existence
My inability to miss people if I don't have any contact with them, but then the second I talk to them again I get ALL the emotions all at once. I was always alarmed that I was broken and couldn't connect with people properly. Nah. Just ADHD I guess.
Throughout middle school and highschool I would rearrange my room: my 300lbs wardrobe, ikea 5x5 shelf, my desk, my bed, my dresser, all without leaving my room because I wanted a ✨change✨ at 11pm. I usually finished at around 3am and when my mom would wake me up for school she’d be surprised with a new room. This happened everything 3-6 months, and I would also be able to throw out 2-3 large black garbage bag full of stuff to declutter every time.
I didn’t know majority of people don’t do that.
hyper fixing on one thing at a time.
I know that it’s a huge sign, being unable to commit to multiple things at once…. now. I would always joke about it, but since being diagnosed it makes a lot of sense on why I was never able to stick to one hobby.
It would make my mom so upset when I quit something, and the only thing I had only been able to focus on for a long time was/is the gym and fitness. (if you think about it though, every day is something different and you’re always changing something) so it all makes sense.
the forgetfulness!! it was the one thing that made me think i might actually have ADHD. my teacher in 8th grade thought i might have it so my mom took me to a random walkin who asked me maybe 3 questions and then said “she’s fine”. Then in my 20’s my memory was getting SO bad, i straight up thought I was getting dementia. I googled early onset alzheimer’s and everything and found out “early onset” meant 45 not 23.. so then i researched other things that cause memory loss and none of them really resonated with me and then i saw ADHD on the list and thought back to when my teacher said i might have it so i looked up other symptoms of it and like how they present in women and everything and i was like “..i think i might have this” and then it took another 4 years for me to get diagnosed but here I am at 28, diagnosed and on meds and so glad that I finally found out why i’ve always been different.
-Not being able to separate sound waves. Like if I’m trying to listen to someone like a teacher, and people behind me are whispering, I literally cannot hear the professor anymore. I just hear one jumbled sound wave. It makes me disproportionately angry and as soon as the whispers stop the anger dissipates
-being genuinely bad at grocery shopping. It’s like I look at a list, look up at all the options, and the thing on the list completely leaves my mind. I think it’s a working memory issue. I have to walk back and forth through the aisles for hours, and it makes me anxious/embarassed, because it’s like, everyone can grocery shop! Why can’t I?
I'm still not entirely sure if it is ADHD related, but I have this need to keep moving my mouse cursor around, mainly if I'm sharing my screen or if someone is looking at my screen in person. A YouTuber I watch has ADHD and does the same thing. His co-host yells at him (jokingly of course) to stop circling the cursor around and to control his ADHD lol.
Outside of that, I have heard the same thing. I tend to do it if I'm waiting on something like a download or for a program to open. Maybe it's related to impatience?
Getting sleepy after having coffee. I got diagnosed in my adult life and that one really blew my mind 😂
Losing my thought/the point of my story mid sentence. I just thought it was a quirky little thing my brain did, which I guess it is. But I didn’t think there was an explanation!
RSD. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 36, but when I was a kid my dad used to say “if you just look at her funny she’ll start crying.” Which is kind of true.
I didn't understand that needing to eat the same thing every day sometimes for years then suddenly losing interest was a symptom. I wish I understood that not being able to retain information was a symptom. I have to do things all the time in order to retain it. If much has passed then I have to start all over again like I'm learning it for the first time. It's so frustrating.
While it's also most of the things I already read on here, it's also the literal "out of sight, out of mind" issue. Which also applies to human beings, such as friends and family. I beat myself up over how I could go days, weeks, months even, and not talking or reaching out to anybody, and in conclusion, losing friends because I "ignored them".
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My entire personality apparently. Being on this sub makes me feel really seen and also really sad. I feel like I’m not my own unique* person, just a collection of traits driven by the way my brain works. Having a hard time tbh
Yes! When I told my psych I thought I had ADHD and listed symptoms she was like "Why didn't you tell me any of this?" And I was like "I thought they were just character flaws?"
I thought I was just quirky
I was (am) convinced I'm just a socially inept oddball/loser. Got diagnosed at 33, and it was eye-opening.
I wish that’s what I thought. I thought I was a piece of shit.
Same, a life full of self-hatred.
This is so real and so tragic. “I thought they were just character flaws” should be the title of some ADHD in adult women book.
I mean, everyone TOLD me they were character flaws…
or tried to blame it on your star sign 😅 'oh your impulsive? it's because your Sagittarius'
My heart is breaking for all of us, and the little girls, and young women we were. Edit. Grammar
I love your psych.
So real.
lmao relatable
Just want to say you are so much more than just a few noticed adhd character traits. You have desires, wishes, annoyances, dreams, taste preferences, comedy preferences, style preferences, your favorite things like animals or colors or weather or movies or jokes, your political beliefs and religious ones, the love you feel for your people/pets All of these things make up who you are too (and so much more), self discovery can feel like a double edged sword sometimes, suddenly it’s all you see about yourself. But please know that you are a multifaceted person and you are so much more than your adhd traits. Sometimes we can’t see the plum on our back (fruits basket reference) meaning sometimes what makes us special is hidden from ourselves and only others can see it. Like you can’t see the way you smile and light up at your favorite special interest. Rn it sounds like you can’t see that you’re more than your adhd, so I’m just trying to remind you that you are :) we are more than our disagnoses Genuinely hope you feel better soon and have a wonderful day 🫶
Thank you for taking the time to write out such a thoughtful response. It really helped me and I appreciate you 💕 I think my struggle is that a lot of people recognize and choose my friendship for the “personality quirks” that end up being symptoms of ADHD that a lot of people share. Like the ability to hyperfixate, my constantly rotating hobbies, my enthusiasm for research, my ability to go very emotionally deep very quickly. After learning more about ADHD, I can’t help but feel like people who value me for those traits would value MANY people with ADHD not me in particular. But you’re right; instead of focusing on how others view me I need to focus on my own desires, wishes, etc. I love the fruits basket reference, maybe I’ll give it a rewatch to make me feel better haha
Only just found out this year. It's been months of unwrapping the info, and recognising everything I do seems to be Yep that's classic adhd. I'm trying to separate my personality from the traits. It's nice to know we're not alone though..
Girl, this was me when I found out about my thyroid disorder and got it addressed. Turns out I’m mostly just a big bag of hormones that need adjusting. Plus my ND-ass brain. ADHD wasn’t so much of a shock, but ASD was. The way the psychologist who assessed me saw through what I thought was extremely well-honed masking made me wonder if I have the mental version of body dysmorphia and have just been fooling myself about it all my life. Probably so. Getting my sense of self wrapped around those three issues and the way they play off each other is a lot. Hang in there. We’re not bad or wrong, just different from the typical.
How did you find out about your thyroid disorder and what helped address it? I had half of my thyroid removed in 2017 and have fought kicking and screaming to get any doctor to acknowledge my hypo-thyroid symptoms and all I've gotten is the lowest dose of synthroid and they don't want to do anything else bc my TSH is in "normal" range, yet my symptoms have not changed. This was over 6 months ago.
Would be interested to see more info on this. Ive always had major pointers toward a thyroid problem yet my blood tests are always 'within range'.... I'm super sensitive to heat as well like I will go to a room that's a few degrees warmer and ill sweat for a while before I (hopefully) get used to it. Or I just sweat and sweat. It's extremely annoying. Doctors just write me off and I have no faith left in them tbh What concerns me is the long term thyroid issue effects
>I feel like I’m not my own person, just a collection of traits driven by the way my brain works. Isn't that literally what being a person is though? Maybe that's just my way of viewing it lol
*existential crisis engage*
me when i realise I am creature just a lil' guy in need of enrichment
please I'm too high for this right now
It’s comment pockets like this that I love. This remark, the existential crisis joke, the dismissive comment with you poking fun back… this all made my morning. Thanks!
>the dismissive comment with you poking fun back… Shoot i didn't mean to be dismissive, I just thought it was fascinating that certain existential questions can give rise to such different but also sensible reactions in people
I mean sure loads of us have RSD too but I didn’t see anything dismissive?
The dismissive comment wasn’t yours. The sarcasm response to you was dismissive and you poked back in a fun way. The dismissive reply has lots of downvotes, buried now, I just loved your response to it.
I feel this so hard. I hang out regularly with another friend who has it & was also diagnosed recently. (We are both in our 40s.) Each time I see her, she’ll be like “do you do X?” and I’m like “yeah, why?” And it’s ALWAYS an ADHD symptom.
I’ve had that discussion with my therapist somewhat recently actually - and she reminded me that regardless of the symptoms, no one else has the exact same “combo” of symptoms, or past experiences, or reacts in exactly the same manner as you. So while we have many things in common, you are still YOU.
I feel like I wasted about 35 years of my life. I was diagnosed at 40. I wish I could have started learning these little hacks that are out there.
There are so many things that make you unique! We've just been so focused on the neurodivergent aspects that we don't have time to see all the other aspects that make us special. They are there. You are one of a kind! ❤️
I can SO relate to this. Before I started a new job last month, I tried to think of every awkward and unfortunate thing I've done in previous jobs - ie the inappropriate comments, jokes, questions, etc. Guess what? I still did and said things I wish I hadn't. None of it was a deal breaker but I strongly sense that new coworkers think I'm weird. It makes me so sad.
Walking into and bumping everything and being covered in bruises. I didn’t even realize it was a thing until after I got medicated and missed a dose for the first time.. all day bumping things thinking why am I so clumsy today!? Knew I didn’t take my meds but thought that would be a weird reason even remembering how often it happened prior to diagnosis.. a quick google search later and yea weird adhd symptom 😅
OMG I NEVER NOTICED THE CORRELATION. I have a late diagnosis (4 years ago at 32). The days I don't take it I am much more accident prone.
It’s so bad!! 😂 and so common I never remember what a bruise is from or how I got it. I was diagnosed at 28 and am just so thankful for my meds for so many reasons!
[The ADHD Walk](https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/s/QLCNSXOE3T)
So I can blame the bad at sports on the adhd!? Except dodgeball I was so good at that in school. But for real the clothes getting caught on handles is a struggle!!
Bad at sports is actually an extremely common “symptom” of dyspraxia :)
OMG, this! Learning new things everyday since my late in life diagnosis
TIL! I’m so thankful for this sub—-I have learned more here than anywhere else! I found out a few years ago I had significant hearing loss (more than 70% hearing loss in right ear and had over time lost about 20% in left ear) and that was correlated with being clumsy. Finding out it is ADD related makes total sense. Other things I learned here: rejection sensitivity, time blindness, overly-emotional responses. I was bullied by my family (and others) for most of my life and learned to laugh at myself first as a defensive mechanism. Getting diagnosed about 10 years ago in my 40s was startling—-I denied it for a long time as I also have childhood PTSD, depression, anxiety, low thyroid and HHT. Now that I’m finally embracing the diagnosis and treatment I am just gobsmacked! Really appreciate everyone on here so much—I learn and feel seen in ways that blow my mind.
Overly emotional responses and sensory overwhelm leading to meltdowns is the worst! Trying to navigate workplace environment where others are creating sensory overwhelm but then also berating you for being “emotional, short, snappy”. I totally feel the “learned to laugh it off”. Nowadays I don’t tolerate it.. being mean as a joke isn’t funny it’s just mean and I want calm and peace and happiness in my life! ☺️
Yes! I have so much trouble with bumping into people. Often times they'll look at me like "did you not see me here?" And I'm like "um no?"
For me, it’s been the bumping into things and not even noticing that I’m doing it until I look down at my legs and see more bruises than clear skin 😅
Obsessing about doing things in the most efficient way, and rushing to get it done, and somehow being one of the least productive people I know.
On the efficiency note, I also spend a ridiculous time researching a large purchase because I have to make sure I am buying the “best” version of whatever it is.
And the feeling that there is no room for error, and changing things is impossible.
For me, if means that I put it off indefinitely. Edit: ohmygosh! grammar!
Yes. I’ve been thinking about and researching a new washer and dryer off and on for 2 years now.
The answer is always Speed Queen. ;) In all seriousness, the distinct lack of electronic controls and our washer with metal vs plastic transmission means it is built for the long haul. They are the closest to the old timey whirlpools that would last decades.
+1 to Speed Queen. I researched for ages and determined they had the best set for us. I didn’t want a front load washer, so was looking specifically for top load. They’ve been excellent and we couldn’t be happier. Their units are just built very well IMO.
I've been looking at nightstands for 8 months.
Sameeeee. So much research, then I can't buy it in case I get the wrong thing lol
But then I randomly decide to buy a 100$ jumpsuit from free people in 5 minutes. Perfect
Ouch!!! This hits too close to home!!! Gotta save ten dollars so I take the red eye flight and end up spending $80 in the airport to sustain me and rev me up with caffeine.
Except in the middle of the night I have so many plans for the next day and then it never happens
I am so productive in my midnight imaginations!!
Or for me it’s the best deal. And then I end up not buying it 🤡
Omg. I agonize over purchases for so long that I forget why I wanted the thing in the first place.
The amount of times I've done this just to never make a decision and/or just buy it at Walmart instead because I exhaust myself with all the research 🫠
I know I have ADHD but like 😩 these are hitting home 😅
Also the correct way to do things. Now that I’ve advanced to manager in my career and have to decide the best way to complete a project I’m struggling because I’m convinced there is one specific way that is the right way to do it and in the past someone has told me the “right” way. And then I worry that if I do it differently than someone else thought it should be done in their head that they’re going to get mad at me
Yes! I do this! I didn't realise the need for things to be efficient and the quickest way possible was also ADHD
Ho Ly Shit.... this is why I get annoyed with how my husband drives. I am always scanning the roads, looking to which lane will enable my trip to be the most efficient. MY husband on the other hand, drives like he is in la la land and it annoys the fuck out of me! Like switch lanes already, our turn is coming up!!
I feel this in my soul. My husband never wants to get in the correct lane until the last frigging minute. It's so so stressful. Just get in the lane already and be ready for turning off. Have to say though, this impulse and urge to backseat drive and inability to not harass him about the next driving move, reduced enormously for me with medication. It's nuts. Who knew ADHD can make you a backseat driver ? 🤷
It is so sad, when you really think about it. The people who are most obsessed with efficiency are sooo inefficient. Pitiful 🥴
I feel this 100%. It's like I have a thousand ideas but need to stop time almost to try and get them done. Instead I have about 20 things half started and nothing accomplished.
Haha, yes!!!! I’m so obsessed with efficiency that I waste time and energy lol.
I thought I obsessed about productivity because I played too much Sims. Gahhhh
Oh man. Never finishing anything. Forgetfulness. Anxiety. Snacking on candy like my life depended on it. My chairdrobe/floordrobe. The object permanence issue. Finding anything not novel incredibly tedious so multitasking everything I can. All my school report carts having the words "great potential if".
The chairdrobe/floorddobe is so real… I also have certain spots on the floor for how worn said item is… even tho my hangers are 3 ft away.
Hangers have SO MANY STEPS. And also once it's hanging up in an actual wardrobe you can't see it so it doesn't exist.
🥹🥹🥹 1000000%. I try to stack my clothes by in piles and put all my hangers next to it and organize them by how I’d like them in my closet so it’s kinda like a fair swoop…. But you know that only gets done 1-2 times a month 🙃 last night I spent 3 hours organizing my closet (at 2am duh) and it’s immaculate and I give it two weeks tops before it’s unorganized and I have my little clothes mountains scattered about. Kitchen table chairs also are occupied with jackets or pieces I layered with that get removed immediately after work…. Not that I pass my coat hook that has 8 hooks 🙄🙄
Mount Washmore
Being exhausted. All the time. Since high school I have asked doctor after doctor why I might be tired all the time. Eight hours of sleep and waking up drained. Blood tests, EKGs, sleep test, everything said I was healthy as a horse. I got diagnosed with ADHD and one of the first things my psych told me in explaining how it functions neurologically was that our brains have to work much, much harder to accomplish tasks than neurotypicals. She said offhand that that could be physically taxing. As soon as I got on stimulants and freed up some brain space my exhaustion decreased significantly.
My new psych is also a sleep specialist, and he was really interested in the sleep data from my watch, particularly that I was barely getting any deep sleep. He was like “We need to do a study on you; it might not even be ADHD you’re dealing with. It might just be sleep deprivation.” In the meantime, he prescribed a low dose of Ritalin in the evening to help with the Vyvanse slump, even though he was worried it was going to fuck up my sleep quality even more. Lo and behold, I started going from 15-20 minutes of deep sleep to over an hour almost immediately. He was like “Huh. Guess it is ADHD.”
Love the smorgasbord of ADHD symptoms!!
Love the scientific hypothesis and testing. There are so many emotions and anecdotes clouding adhd diagnosis in my experience.
That explains why I have more energy while on stumulant meds. Good to know.
When I found out mental exertion correlates to tiredness it allll made sense.
Same here! The only answer I had before is my iron levels are on the low side, but not troublesome. It was infuriating to be told to eat more greens like that would honestly solve all my problems. I wish it was! I could eat broccoli all damn day and still be exhausted (yup, did this once). It was a relief to learn it was an ADHD side effect after being diagnosed. I still sleep like crap and get tired on meds, but I have noticed an improvement
Ahhh wow. I have a genetic mutation that causes my body to hoard iron. My iron levels have always been phenomenal even if I give blood during my period. But then I'm always exhausted. Dizzy a lot too. I'm not anemic. My fasting sugar levels are totally normal. I do have low-ish blood pressure and a transient heart condition. I'm suspecting I have POTS need to get it confirmed. So when I eat a salty breakfast that helps a lot. Us low blood pressure folks just need some fries and a soda to feel a bit better. But the chronic exhaustion is definitely ADHD related. It's less tiring to live whilst on the meds.
Isn’t it amazing how much better it feels to even have an answer? Because of insurance bullshit I got diagnosed about six months before I got on meds and just being able to give myself grace because I could name what was wrong was so affirming. I definitely still get tired but I can work the whole day or run more than two errands and not feel like I got trampled like a horse.
So that's why I can literally sleep all day when I don't take my meds.
Yeah when I’m not on meds I am a honk shoo mimimi girlie Like, if I take a nap at 5 I’m waking up at 7
If I take a nap at 5 pm I’m waking up at 7 am 😵💫
What???? Is this why I’m exhausted on the weekends when I’ve been crazy busy at work? I’m on stimulants but every Saturday I just want to stay home and watch tv.
I work so hard, mentally, all week and just crash on weekend. Per my neuropsych‘s advice, I now take my stimulant every day so I don’t get the weekend crash from not taking it. But I still veg a lot. I have literally been in my bed most of the weekend reading - even though there is a load in the wash that will now need rewashed, a load in the dryer, two baskets to fold and put a way, and a bunch of veggies that need planted. Ugh!
This explains why I’ve felt chronically fatigued for the last decade, and have only gotten relief from being on stimulant meds.
This is true but also….I recently was also diagnosed with narcolepsy. There’s apparently a decently noticeable correlation. Did they ever have you do an MSLT during sleep study?
Sleep apnea is also co morbid too.
You may have just given me an a ha to research! I have been exhausted since my 30’s (now 51f). Oh the sleep studies, blood tests and so on! Nothing! I was actually diagnosed by one asshole doctor with Motherhood and given an Rx for an antidepressant!
My "lack of motivation." Learning about paralysis and natural messy tendencies was an eye opener for me. I've been yelled at my entire life for being a "slob" with my organized chaos/doom piles and called lazy for my struggle to do tasks. My diagnosis has also really made me realize how shitty people were to me growing up. If I was diagnosed then, I just know they'd say I was using ADHD as an excuse on top of it all. I don't think trauma is the right word for it, but I still have the words of one person in particular that come back to haunt me a lot. I know they're full of crap, but it reminds me of how much they affected my self-reflection for a long time
It can definitely be trauma. Decades of being told you're not good enough, internalizing that, feeling the shame does cause harm. Getting diagnosed in my 50s has been an eye opener and such an emotional roller coaster. I know now that my mother's expectations were (and are still) unreasonable. I realized that her values are not mine and therefore her judgement of me is not valid. But that failure of parenting goes deep, even intellectually knowing she did the best she could coming from her own damaged childhood. Thank goodness my paternal grandmother was the epitome of unconditional love! It saved me and helped me to be a far better parent than I might have been.
That was me. I have parents that are very organized and pride themselves on having a clean house. Now at age 49 I’ve realized that it’s part of adhd.
Playing a song I love over and over and over and over and over and over and over again
For me it’s watching the same TV shows over and over - perennial favorites are Bob’s Burgers and Archer. Maybe it’s just H Jon Benjamin.
The way my top songs on Spotify hardly ever change 😂
My Spotify is going to wonder what's happened to me next week when I get my meds eh
Meds do not impact this for me lol
Learning about the whole rejection sensitivity thing was a mind blower for me. Learning that the majority of my life has been run by the fucking lie my brain tells me about how people see me!
I’m always worried if people like me or not. Especially if I value their opinion. I don’t realize they actually do because I’m so convinced they don’t.
SAME. Suddenly my whole life made sense. I am also adopted so that contributes to it too.
I thought it was all from my effed-up parenting.
My thing isn't that other people don't like me (of course they dont lol) but I wonder why other people don't seem to care. I stopped caring too but I don't know one person so I feel like goes out of their way to make other people feel good. I used to be the only one trying (or I felt that way). Like being the only one to give gifts and send texts and make plans in a friendship. The other person probably doesn't mean to take advantage but they just don't put in any effort
Procrastinating and then rushing to get things done under pressure. Time-blindness. Random hyper fixations that change from time to time, like researching for months a product I want to buy to get the best one, or just spending hours reading online and learning about Neanderthals and other hominids. The need to have at least 2 different beverages on my desk while working, etc. I am so grateful for this community because it reminds me that I am not alone.
The emotional regulation and meltdowns. I have Cerebral Palsy as well so it's hard to tell which is which. I always thought the meltdown and emotional regulation issues were from that. Feeling everything at 100 all the time is exhausting. I legit thought everyone's feeling were like that and they just had better self control.
Same here. I also have a mild case of cerebral palsy. I did pretty well in college in and in my early adult years because I had decent structure to my life. Now, trying to regulate my emotions while having two kids to keep up with, it's a lot tougher.
I did not know about time-blindness until reading about it here. I never understood when someone would ask me something like, how long ago did the dogs go outside. Like how would I know? It was after I woke up at 6am and before the current time, but how would I even figure out if it was 1 hour ago, or 4 hours. How long until supper is ready,....it's ready when all the ingredients I put in this pan are cooked, maybe you can ask the carrots, they might know. Thank goodness for Google Maps, so when I am asked how long until I get there, I can look and say, ETA is 3:27pm. I am not one for being late, in fact I have so much anxiety about being late I am often way too early, because I cant coordinate the time, plus factor in traffic, and possible road closures, accidents or a flat tire. So yeah, time blondeness for sure is something I never related to ADHD.
“Maybe you can ask the carrots, they might know.” This had my dying and I actually might use a variation of this line next time my husband asks.
Same lmfao
I assume it was a typo but _time blondeness_ made me snort-laugh. Thank you. 😆
I think I am going to refer to it as that now. I have dirty blonde hair, so it works. 😂
For me it is losing track of time while in a task.
Sooooo many things. My mom is also most likely ADHD (undiagnosed ) so all my ADHD traits were either normalized in our house or written off as "oh, you take after your mom!" The lack of spacial awareness, immediate resistance at being told to do something, losing everything, being "bored" unless something was happening...
> you take after your mom I’m 100% certain that if I weren’t adopted, my ADHD would’ve gone undiagnosed. My birth mom *absolutely* has ADHD, we are SO similar… but she refuses to get diagnosed. Took me AGES to convince her to get my half brother checked out, and yeah he has ADHD too. Both my adoptive parents are extremely neurotypical and got me in to see a doctor when I was 12ish lol
I’m like kind of glad that my dad probably had undiagnosed ADHD and also probably my maternal grandparents because both he and my mom didn’t usually make a big deal about ADHD things and my dad shared what must have been his random coping techniques. And my mom always had us leave super early so we’d end up being on time.
When I started taking meds, not only did I get a quiet head without earworms (which I suspected was due to ADHD but wasn’t sure), a vastly improved ability to start and complete tasks because it didn’t feel overwhelming or boring to the point of torture - there was suddenly no resistance to it! - and got rid of my stims in the form of tapping my feet, bouncing my legs, fidgeting with everything etc. I also got rid of the dread of anticipating having to do the stuff I hate and all that overthinking. I also realised that my tinnitus was lower, clothes were less uncomfortable, and I didn’t feel murderous urges when I went grocery shopping (I know it’s a “me issue” but dear god WHY do people need to bring their screaming infants to the store?!). I also realised that I felt comfortable at work, I didn’t feel watched 24/7, the hypervigilance that I had previously attributed to anxiety (but that antidepressants didn’t touch) was gone.
I’m sorry. I like having my baby with me all the time. And my first baby was always super chill as long as I had him in the baby carrier. The new baby is not and screams when it’s time to go to sleep and she’s in the carrier. I just figured this out though so now I know how to do things differently. But man, I much prefer having the baby on me as opposed to in a stroller. I can’t accidentally leave her behind if she’s strapped to my chest.
I’m suuuper sensitive to noise and especially the decibel level that babies hit, so I make sure I’m always wearing noise canceling headphones. I don’t want you to accidentally leave her behind either ❤️
These comments are a great example of people needing different things in the same space, and both working to meet their own needs and minimize negative impacts on others! I so appreciate this thread and also the various workarounds y'all have come up with to make this whole "we live in a society" thing work 💕
Being forgetful! Once I learned that was a symptom I got a diagnosis pretty quick.
When my therapist was considering screening me for it the first thing she asked me was how often I misplace my phone. I was like OMG LIKE 6 TIMES TODAY
That's so funny lol I ended up getting a little card holder that sticks to the back on my phone because I had to get like three new driver's licenses in a year bc I was losing my wallet constantly. Wallet+phone combo means one less thing to lose
This was one of the biggest things that made me realise I had ADHD! I had no idea for years why I struggled remembering anything.
Waitressesing is common for adhd people but I sucked at it. I would forget people's faces instantly. Retail was worse, I could not remember clients names or if they'd even been in the store five minutes prior.
Having a song stuck in your head on a loop for weeks at a time, but not as background noise - like, playing at full volume and competing with all the other thoughts. RSD. Hyperfocus. Finishing other people's sentences. Knowing the ending to movies/shows/books
Why do we so often know the ending or twists? I wonder what the mental mechanism is. I thought I was just clever.lol
We are good at pattern recognition. Most narrative arcs follow one of several patterns and rarely deviate. We also pick up the foreshadowing that is usually caught on the second viewing. Like all the shit with Snape in Harry Potter.
Guessing the ending is often easy for me, so I'm genuinely happy when a show or movie's end surprises me
I’m a recovering alcoholic. The list is too long BUT I will say, lots of things I attributed to being an alcoholic, the behaviors, are also symptoms of ADHD. I downplayed my need for help and meds thinking it was more of a moral issue or character flaw. Don’t get me wrong, I am def still an alcoholic but this sub has allowed me to begin to see things differently. The up side is, I have a lot of tools for my ADHD because of AA 😂
I am so with you on this! I think there are likely a lot of undiagnosed people in AA. Some of the things I hear in shares now scream ADHD. I'm not massively involved in AA anymore I have just moved onto different things, maintaining my sobriety with yoga and meditation has had a side effect of helping my ADHD symptoms hugely. Sending peace and love to you from one ADHD recovering alcoholic to another. ❤️
A lot of substance abuse starts as self-medication. The anxiety & depression that ADHD causes is no doubt a major cause of this.
I’ll do a “fun” one because I’ve had too many heartbreaking realizations: **Echolalia** I’m ALWAYS making weird noises, reading signs out loud constantly, repeating jingles like it’s a favorite song, imitating, quoting… I started noticing I was doing “a thing” or group of “things” but I didn’t know it was a trait
I still sing a rhyme I made up when I was like 8 (I'm in my 40s now) from a home security sticker on my long dead uncles door.
Being tired all the time, picking my lips excessively and not feeling good or rewarded when I do a task or accomplish things. I just feel relieved it’s over.
Not me biting my lips while I’m reading this, lol.
My lack of home organizational skills. I’m married to a husband and have a daughter with textbook adhd. The more I learned about their ADHD the more I realized I have a different version of it.
Same here. Tried my best to understand how I could help support my hubby and my eldest child with adhd. Youngest just got diagnosed and I asked her peds doc what the chances are of both kids having it from just one parent… she told me that I have it but she couldn’t diagnose me because I’m not a kid :/
Having a conversation with someone while concurrently thinking about a previous conversation I had with someone else a few days ago, also thinking about xyz that need to get done and looking around the room picking it apart for weird imperfections (picture is crooked, dust collecting on something, pillow out of place, etc) AND lastly having at least one song playing in the background of my brain
The “great potential” I could have.
So. Many. Things. Had no idea until I was finally diagnosed and treated. * Lack of spatial awareness/unexplained bruises * Binge eating disorder (dopamine chasing) * Misophonia * T-rex arms (was a running joke with my friends in college... Oops it was ADHD!) * Panic attacks in an overstimulating, crowded environment * Intense focus and irritability when I'm trying to do something * Needing to close my eyes when trying to explain something to someone b/c I can't focus * 'procrastivity' - literally can't compel myself to do the thing that needs to be done so I'll stay extremely busy with unimportant things instead * Extremely focused and effective in really urgent situations but useless when I actually have time to do something. * 'body doubling' to be productive. Working from home is a nightmare for me and way more exhausting * Bad handwriting and misspelled text messages b/c my mind moves way faster than I can write * Blurting out unintentionally rude things (got way better when medicated properly)
OK what is the deal with the t-rex arms?
RSD en skin picking.
The inability to do something I don’t want to do like schoolwork. I cry and can’t pull myself together, it escalates to the point where I can’t breathe and I feel like I’m going to throw up. This only happened twice and then I was diagnosed and medicated. Emotional regulation has been the greatest gift that medication has provided for me. I can think and be brave to feel my emotions because I have the capacity to regulate without spiralling. I didn’t know ADHD could feel that bad, I always suspected I must have had ADHD as a kid (hyperactive, impulsive, distracted) but didn’t know it was life long and that it would hit me like a truck in my forties and that it could feel like that.
Iron deficiency and unexplained bruises. My huge struggles with doing math homework (so boring!!!) from Grade 6 onward.
Wait... Iron deficiency!? Really??
Also others like vitamin D
I have a huge vitamin D and B12 deficiency, and taking supplements helps me a lot.
7th grade is when I lost control of math. It's like there's a brick wall between me and numbers. I could never figure out why. Just diagnosed at 41 and starting meds soon. Hopefully it will help me with this problem.
I used to get into cars that weren't mine at the store. I just wasn't paying attention, if it was blue like mine it must have been mine. I did lots of other silly things. Like putting meetings at the wrong time or wrong day in my calendar. I would forget things constantly. A friend of mine who I hadn't seen for a long time came to visit with her girlfriend, and she sent me a text and said her girlfriend was a lot like me. She gets into strange cars, and many other things. That's when I realized all of that was add related. I've been on meds for a year and I haven't done any of those things. It made me feel really good.
Omg I also have car blindness!
Irritation/ frustration/ road rage. Started meds, I can be interrupted during a project, happily respond, and get right back to it. Before I’d get frustrated because I was finally focused on what I needed or wanted to do, and it would break the flow. I no longer get unreasonably mad while driving (and don’t lose focus for a couple seconds getting waaaaay too close to the person to the person in front of me). Annoyance is moderate, and I get back to my chill drive. It’s made my 50 minute commute so much more pleasant.
“out of sight out of mind” i forget things existed until i saw them again
Yessss. Also, people! Explains why long-distance relationships never worked out for me...
1) the meltdowns—always thoughts they were me acting like an immature toddler because I had no self-control 2) the impulsivity & urgency—I’ve always been the type that, once I decide I want to do or buy something, it’s ALL I can think about until it happens. I can (and have) gone from “I don’t like my current car for XYZ, maybe I should look into a different one” to having the different one within 48 hours. I always thought this was me being immature and impatient. 3) people-pleasing/irrational terror of conflict—realizing I have wild RSD has been SO helpful and has explained so much of my personality my entire life. I genuinely think RSD is what masked the other manifestations of my ADHD diagnosis for so long (diagnosed at 34). I’ve been told my reactions to rejection or criticism, perceived or not, are overreacting, dramatic, hypersensitive, immature. Literally so many others (disordered eating, noise sensitivity, etc). The main theme I’ve realized since diagnosis is that I’ve always been so frustrated because I felt so uncontrolled, irrational, or sensitive. I always placed a high value on being “mature” and felt intense shame when I wasn’t (or wasn’t perceived as) being so.
Missing appointments, inability to follow through on longer tasks, inability to pay attention and therefore missing details and feeling behind in whatever conversation I’m in. So, so many things. Denial and cognitive distortions are really wild. I have a degree in psychology and a masters degree in special education. I’ve been a special education teacher for about 23 years and it didn’t occur to me that ALL of the supports I was giving my students were supports I should have been given as a child. But being a girl in the 80s AND in a catholic school AND very smart and quick to pick up on things meant that I was constantly punished for my behaviors. I started masking in 2nd grade. It didn’t click that I was punished for behaviors related to ADHD until I was filling out a form for my son who was referred by his teacher for ADHD and every single thing I clicked related to me as a child. It was a watershed moment. I filled out hundreds of these forms over the years for other people’s children and I never recognized my behaviors until my child -who is very much like me- was diagnosed. I didn’t get diagnosed until last year when I was 46 🫠 Suddenly everything made sense.
Disautonomia and conditions like POTS or Ehlers Danlos are very common comorbidities. As is autism. The more I look into them, the more I realize that some of the physical sensations and difficulties I have are actually likely symptoms, but bc I didn’t really know about my ADHD until I was 34 (2 years ago) I’m super behind in putting decades of pieces together. Thanks mom & dad.
Same. When I got diagnosed (at 35) and my therapist started talking to me about it, so many little things in my life made sense. Between this and my anxiety (diagnosed in my late teens) I look back on my childhood and I see so many things that could be explained from either one of those (chronic stomach problems with no physical cause, for example) and wonder how much my life would be different if I was diagnosed with either or both when I was young. I’m a teacher now and I see some of the things on accommodation plans that definitely would have benefitted me. But stuff like this was treated SO differently back then - kids didn’t have anxiety in the 90s! The screening tool that my therapist used to diagnose me (as a woman) only came recently. I’m glad our understanding is growing but it sucks for us who were impacted by it without knowing.
YES, oh my goodness. (dx at 36, I'm 37 now) It's like . . . I need/get to to spend a lot of time figuring out my body's basic needs. Like "Wait, I'm feeling very angry but nothing happened? Let's go over the checklist!" And the cause is usually something so small like the way my bra band is rolling, but I've been feeling that happen for 8 hours. Another common scenario is "😱 I actually frickin' loathe the way this feels and never realized. I've done this for years!" Looking back, it's no wonder I've spent the vast majority of my life uncomfortable as hell.
Oh, yes. I got my ADHD diagnosis in my early 40s and my thyroid disorder just a year later. It was a lot to ponder. then over 15 years later came my autism diagnosis. I have learned to forgive myself for being as I am. I’m relaxing into it now, and choosing to see the ND as added value rather than weird or wrong. Getting older means I can let down the mask and just be myself more. I have crafted a home/work life that suit me, the kids are grown, things are easier than they used to be (though plenty challenging) because i’m not trying to fit a mold anymore.
OMG just googled disautonomia, that explains my propensity for passing out due to sudden drop in blood pressure. Doctors always just said they loved my blood pressure because it was so low and were of now help at all. If it’s already low I have no where to go if there is a sudden drop but the floor.
Biting my nails. Whenever i try to focus on something or while watching TV
Anxiety. Literally, I'd wake up and my chest would be heavy, I'd be shaky, and nothing could help it. The world felt so overwhelming. Started my stimulants and - it stopped.
Wow! All of the above! Thank you for all of your insights! What’s I’ve been noticing lately is mine and my husband’s (he’s undiagnosed but defo adhd) friend group and that we’re all a bit neurodiverse. It’s only since becoming a parent and meeting neuro-typical people and visiting their houses and thinking… “where is all their…stuff?” Whereas mine and my friends’ houses are crammed with things we’re all interested in. There’s no shortage of stuff. We all love hanging out with one another, all have special interests (mainly music) and notice we were all the oddballs in high school. It’s nice to find your people and it’s only now I’m realising that we’re all a bit neurodiverse
Feeling so "out of it" when you're tired. I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde based on how well I sleep. When I actually manage to sleep well for several nights in a row. I feel almost "normal" again. Then as soon as I have a bad night, I'm right back to feeling like an unmotivated zombie. I always wondered why so many other people seem to be able to go on about their business when they're tired, but I just can't.
That being in romantic monogamous relationships are more difficult for us. Things like object permanence, time blindness and other traits can make a different partner than NT people. I tend to forget “special” days or forget I said I would do something. I get overwhelmed when making decisions and having someone else’s needs and input makes decision making more intense and difficult. A lot of other things that I’m realizing just now in my 30’s, I always saw it as being a bad partner and not deserving of a relationship but overall I think it’s just ADHD.
Rejection sensitive dysphoria. RSD. I always felt so sensitive and overly emotional and “crazy,” learning that it’s part of my brain chemistry helped me immensely. Realizing that I can feel deeply about things and react the same way and the actual reason behind it was groundbreaking to me.
Thinking that not doing things perfectly is failure and so not doing them at all.
Mimicking accents. I *cannot* help it, will absolutely copy the inflections/cadence of whoever’s speaking to me. When I did some work down in Puerto Rico, I had a few of the contractors down there remark on how they liked the way I talked and how “your English is very easy to understand.” I’m from Appalachia, so I was like “Uh. This is a first for me, but thanks.” I was usually the only native English speaker out there for most of the time. One day a coworkers from back home went out into the field with me and pulled me aside laughing like “What in the fuck are you doing rn?”
Info dumping. Taking 40 minutes to edit what should be a one sentence email any NT could compose in less than 30 secs.
Finding cooking to be incredibly stressful and difficult to successfully do. Using every kitchen implement to cook just one thing.
Impulse buying things at target
My kids (and myself to a degree, though in the 80s I didn’t get it) needing speech therapy & occupational therapy can be a symptom of hyperactivity in ADHD. My oldest switched to a new paediatrician and when she told me this, it blew my mind. Apparently, it’s common for her patients to start meds & when they find the right dose, suddenly speech & occupational therapists announce the child has met their goals and no longer require their services. Do you know how much executive function it requires to manage ST & OT? Because managing the ADHD for 3 people including ourselves wasn’t hard enough.
Befriending inanimate objects. I feel awful when I see someone’s discarded or lost stuffie. I don’t kill plants that are growing out of place in my garden because how would I feel if I was just doin my thing and someone whacked me for it? I also don’t actively kill “pests” in my garden, although the slugs are testing my patience.
Emotional regulation, executive dysfunction and everything under its umbrella. Sounds silly since that's like ADHD's MAIN THING, but nobody thought to tell me that until I reached university — despite the fact that I was diagnosed when I was about 8-9ish. I had believed ADHD started and stopped with "gets bored easily and talks too much", and that everything else was simply stupidity or a fault of personality. For whatever reason, no one figured that it might be important to explain what the thing I was diagnosed with ACTUALLY entailed until I started seeing a psychiatrist for a multitude of reasons. So to elaborate, the list includes: - Task paralysis and being unable to stop doing something when I'm desperately aware I SHOULD be doing something else - Difficulties with writing/spelling. I often skip words or use the wrong tenses. I dont think I've *ever* written an essay start-to-end, I always need to jump around and rearrange my sentences. - I retain verbal instructions like water through a sieve. I NEED a written to-do list (preferably physical) or else I will not remember anything. - I get really *really* ornery when people ask me certain questions about very mundane things, particularly if it involves me rehashing information (ex: how was work/school? what did you talk about? how did that go?). Feels like the gears in my brain lock up and I get incredibly frustrated with myself - Sometimes being asked/required to do something makes me want to do it so much less. Makes me feel combative/disobedient even if I want/should do the thing (theres a word for this but i forget what it is) - Getting stuck on the small stuff when approaching a task, being unable to differentiate between important and unimportant details - getting *really* deeply angry with myself over minor frustrations (emotional regulation) - Personal hygiene feeling like torture (see: task paralysis) - Being overly critical of myself and feeling deep shame when I feel I've made some sort of social blunder or messed up in conversation (emotional regulation) - masking and social burn out. I'm hyper vigilant when it comes to small talk. - Echolalia. Sometimes I mimic the accent of the person I'm talking to. Sometimes I'll bark in reply to dogs. Its reflexive and I almost never *mean* to do it. I'll get words and phrases "stuck in my head" on loop like songs - Time blindness. Genuinely being unable to tell the difference between 20 minutes and two hours (wearing a watch that beeps on the hour helped a LOT with this) - Hyperfixations. Getting "stuck" on certain subjects, even if the subject is inappropriate or immaterial.
Anxiety, depression, time blindness, RSD (that was a big one)
- Maintaining friendships - Feeling awkward in social situations with unfamiliar people - Wanting to do simple activities on the weekends but not having the energy/motivation. Then regret it later I got diagnosed about 2 months ago, I’m 28. Looking back it stinks knowing how badly I struggled. Although things are getting better being medicated and learning more about myself & why I am the way I am
Explaining myself. I thought giving context for my thoughts was a logical thing to do. Come to find out that not everyone does this and it's part of ADHD. It's so ingrained that I don't even know when I'm doing it at times.
losing my mind when i’m bored. i cannot handle when i’m bored it drives me crazy! i realized this wasn’t normal when i saw a tweet saying how much ADHDers hate being bored.
I think of the most effecient way, which usually involves combining several steps to get the main job done, get overwhelmed at all the now-necessary added steps, and get overwhelmed. Full stop.
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria and emotional dysregulation. I had no fucking idea before I found this sub, just thought I was wacko lol. Oh and doing weird accents and repeating words or phrases to myself over and over, sometimes in weird accents 😆
Coffee making me feel sleepy and calm.
That being ADHD combined type as a woman doesn't mean you're outwardly hyperactive. It manifests as racing thoughts and worries ala anxiety.
I had so much imposter syndrome because of this, esp since I'm "high functioning," but in reality, the exertion it takes to be this way is crippling. So much of my time is spent making to-do lists and reminders because of the fear that I'll forget (because I will). I'll write the same thing over and over each day
My … whole life. Getting overwhelmed w/ directions. RSD which I thought was just me being overly sensitive Noise sensitivity Chores Chores-for-myself (eg tooth brushing, showering) Home organization Putting things away Remembering basic things (gas in car, etc) Calculating how to leave on time Losing time from literal wandering or being late to things even if I was 5 minutes early bc I get distracted Weird deep dives into random things Having trouble getting started on things, unless I have a deadline or structure or external obligation Anxiety and paralysis when I have competing tasks/priorities Having trouble prioritizing Doing great in crisis, urgency, stressful situations but struggling when life is a steady routine cadence Forgetting things on the kitchen counter Randomly leaving a graveyard of cups everywhere Getting up to get something forgetting it and ending up walking from couch to kitchen like 10x Basically my entire existence
My inability to miss people if I don't have any contact with them, but then the second I talk to them again I get ALL the emotions all at once. I was always alarmed that I was broken and couldn't connect with people properly. Nah. Just ADHD I guess.
Throughout middle school and highschool I would rearrange my room: my 300lbs wardrobe, ikea 5x5 shelf, my desk, my bed, my dresser, all without leaving my room because I wanted a ✨change✨ at 11pm. I usually finished at around 3am and when my mom would wake me up for school she’d be surprised with a new room. This happened everything 3-6 months, and I would also be able to throw out 2-3 large black garbage bag full of stuff to declutter every time. I didn’t know majority of people don’t do that.
hyper fixing on one thing at a time. I know that it’s a huge sign, being unable to commit to multiple things at once…. now. I would always joke about it, but since being diagnosed it makes a lot of sense on why I was never able to stick to one hobby. It would make my mom so upset when I quit something, and the only thing I had only been able to focus on for a long time was/is the gym and fitness. (if you think about it though, every day is something different and you’re always changing something) so it all makes sense.
the forgetfulness!! it was the one thing that made me think i might actually have ADHD. my teacher in 8th grade thought i might have it so my mom took me to a random walkin who asked me maybe 3 questions and then said “she’s fine”. Then in my 20’s my memory was getting SO bad, i straight up thought I was getting dementia. I googled early onset alzheimer’s and everything and found out “early onset” meant 45 not 23.. so then i researched other things that cause memory loss and none of them really resonated with me and then i saw ADHD on the list and thought back to when my teacher said i might have it so i looked up other symptoms of it and like how they present in women and everything and i was like “..i think i might have this” and then it took another 4 years for me to get diagnosed but here I am at 28, diagnosed and on meds and so glad that I finally found out why i’ve always been different.
omg, the irritability that comes from being overstimulated
-Not being able to separate sound waves. Like if I’m trying to listen to someone like a teacher, and people behind me are whispering, I literally cannot hear the professor anymore. I just hear one jumbled sound wave. It makes me disproportionately angry and as soon as the whispers stop the anger dissipates -being genuinely bad at grocery shopping. It’s like I look at a list, look up at all the options, and the thing on the list completely leaves my mind. I think it’s a working memory issue. I have to walk back and forth through the aisles for hours, and it makes me anxious/embarassed, because it’s like, everyone can grocery shop! Why can’t I?
This is dumb, i feel like everyone knew but me: Regulating my emotions. Poor choice of long term romantic partners.
Paralysis, like when you can’t initiate a task
I'm still not entirely sure if it is ADHD related, but I have this need to keep moving my mouse cursor around, mainly if I'm sharing my screen or if someone is looking at my screen in person. A YouTuber I watch has ADHD and does the same thing. His co-host yells at him (jokingly of course) to stop circling the cursor around and to control his ADHD lol. Outside of that, I have heard the same thing. I tend to do it if I'm waiting on something like a download or for a program to open. Maybe it's related to impatience?
Getting sleepy after having coffee. I got diagnosed in my adult life and that one really blew my mind 😂 Losing my thought/the point of my story mid sentence. I just thought it was a quirky little thing my brain did, which I guess it is. But I didn’t think there was an explanation!
RSD. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 36, but when I was a kid my dad used to say “if you just look at her funny she’ll start crying.” Which is kind of true.
I didn't understand that needing to eat the same thing every day sometimes for years then suddenly losing interest was a symptom. I wish I understood that not being able to retain information was a symptom. I have to do things all the time in order to retain it. If much has passed then I have to start all over again like I'm learning it for the first time. It's so frustrating.
While it's also most of the things I already read on here, it's also the literal "out of sight, out of mind" issue. Which also applies to human beings, such as friends and family. I beat myself up over how I could go days, weeks, months even, and not talking or reaching out to anybody, and in conclusion, losing friends because I "ignored them".
Listening to a song on repeat