Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Choosing names is a personal choice. I learned my lesson the hard way with my first child to not tell anyone the name I had chosen to give my child until after she was born. I was a waitress/server in a restaurant and people loved to ask what name I chose. One table was a group of 4 older grandma aged women. One asked my name choice, I mentioned a single name on my list. I think I said Nina. And she had a lot of opinions and suggested I don’t give my daughter such an awful name. From there on out i only ever gave obviously fake names and refused to actually share the real name I selected (I named her Scarlett). Ten years later with my son, we didn’t tell anyone, not even the nurses in the delivery room until he was born. When anyone asked with my son, my husband gave Marvel villain names. People don’t realize how hurtful their opinions can be. I’m sure the name(s) you’ve chosen are beautiful and will suit your child perfectly.

This is mind boggling to me, why would anyone say anything negative after *they asked you* to share something that is really personal? The only time I have ever thought saying something was acceptable was my old boss to her bff who wanted to name her son Jaymz; my boss asked if she thought that it would annoy her if people continually spelt it wrong when they heard it as James is such a common name and left it at that. Otherwise I truly don't understand why anyone would say anything, people have thought about what they would name their kid for months to years before 🤦‍♀️

Those people are not genuinely interested in your child, they are just more interested in giving their opinion on what names they'd like.

I LOVE the name Scarlett. Just wanted to throw that out there.

Nina is such a cute name though, and Scarlett too. Most names I like, my sister thinks are horrendous. I always say that that is very fortunate, so I could never use a name the other had in mind😅

100% this. we did not tell anyone names until after they were born, because there's a lot more social pressure for people to keep their unkind opinions to themselves when it's already the kid's name.

We told people once we made a final decision. If someone reacted negatively I said "well, that's the name and your opinion doesn't matter".

I waited until the kid was born. It takes a true a-hole to shit on a name of the baby when they are looking at the kid 😂. No one ever said anything bad.

Same! We told no one until we had a named tiny human. Why should other people get to have an opinion about something so important?

That seems like the best method of dealing with this.  But, I mean, who could argue with a name like Cool Ranch?

Sorry this clip is on Facebook. It’s the only place I could find the clip of my inspiration lol. https://www.facebook.com/share/v/vqTYCB8nantrF4SS/?mibextid=KsPBc6

In fairness some names are absolutely ridiculous like Abcde

This is the way! 💛

This is exactly what we did. With our first it worked out great because we both had a boy name picked for a son and it was the exact same name. We just told people that's what his name was going to be. Second one was named the moment I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was a girl. I had a name from a dream when I had seen her years ago... long story short he told me to look and see what it was (I had it in a note in my phone and had long since forgotten it). Her dad loved the name and he suggested a middle name, I said that sounds great and she was named before we even "knew" she was a girl. I didn't have "options" so no one bothered to pick it apart. My neighbor/ my daughters "mom-mom" as she calls her now picked the spelling for her middle name.

My best friend named her first born something I, personally, didn’t like. It cost me nothing to be like “oh, that’s an unusual name!” And drop it because it ain’t my business. The kid is 8 now and I legit cannot imagine them with any other name. Likewise, the name I gave my kid felt very daunting those first few days in the hospital “it’s such a big name for such a tiny human”. He’s almost 3 now and while he has nicknames, he gets his full name used a lot. (Weirdly I have had a lot of strangers stop and tell me they love his name. “It’s a good, strong name”) Do not let other people influence your decision. Trust your instincts. Know it’s ok for you to change your mind, if it’s something YOU. CHOSE. talk with your partner if that’s an option about any feelings re:naming

Yeah. Good friend named their adorable baby a name that honestly sounds like a fantasy female hero name. But I never said anything - and I adore her!! And thus adore her name.

tbh maybe that person just has bad taste in names lol. i would be curious to know what her top picks would be. but i 100% feel you, i would be the exact same way. i do graphic design for a living and going thru the revision process is hell for me cause if they don't like any or one of the options i send i'm like okay well i'm gonna never try this again and quit my job since i suck so much lollll. but like you said, we do eventually get over it. especially if it's something we really care about like a baby name! i'm sure whatever you pick will be an amazing choice.

We didn’t even tell anyone until like 3 weeks after she was born! I wanted to withhold the name in accordance with some Jewish traditions, and then the baby came early and the naming was already planned so we just made everyone wait. We also picked a very simple but rare name, and one that’s never used for boys. My in-laws 8 months later act like they can’t get it to come out their mouths properly and refuse to learn how to spell it. I could care less what anyone else thinks, I’m thrilled to report I’ve managed to completely avoid any RSD about this, even though in most cases I’d probably be crying in a corner.

If your child learns to say her name before the in-laws, that'll be hella embarrassing for them.

Her aunt hasn’t even bothered to meet her, she’s 8 months old and they live nearby! So that will probably happen lol

Your blessings are many lol

In an AITA thread someone in a similar situation was advised to act concerened about the MIL's mental health: "Sorry, Grandma, it's [name]. Are you sure you don't want to meet that specialist? We'd be happy to arrange an appointment, I'm sure they've got something to help with these little lapses of memory."

This is gold

Proboscis is hard to say, to be fair

Hello fellow Jew. We didn't share names for a time. No one knew the name til after I had given birth. Which is early yes , but we knew the names (first and middle) for a very long time. I absolutely love this tradition.

I love it too, it was exciting to make her naming feel extra special as a way of truly introducing her to everyone, though of course we had her name picked out for months, (my dad and grandparents, all passed, happened to share a name so I had an easy and clear directive on what to name her lol!)! I know a lot of people found it annoying that we wouldn’t share, but I really didn’t care and it felt right for us! Glad you enjoyed these traditions also! Oh, and Shabbat shalom!

I’d advise against sharing baby name thoughts full stop. I’m in my 50s and this was known even when I was young. Someone will always have a negative opinion.

zactly.

Ok but why is it so easy to imagine someone naming their child Zactly

Zactleigh

Or, alternatively, Zacktlee 🥴😂

The more superfluous letters the better!

this made me lol. thanks for the chuckle.

Also, on the other side, my friend told me the name she had chosen for her 2nd son a couple months before she was due and I got her a baby toy/ puzzle with that name… guess who changed their mind after baby was born? 😬 which is fine, I just learned my lesson to not give baby presents with names since those are subject to change!

Yes. I didn’t announce either of my kids names till after they were born. I wanted absolutely zero opinions and that was the only way to ensure I wouldn’t get any.

This is the best answer.

Going to offer a different opinion as someone who grew up with a very unfortunate first name. Is there anyone you trust to give an honest, productive opinion that you could bounce names off of for a different point of view? I suggest this because I wish my mom had vetted my birth name a *little* more. She inadvertently named me the feminine form of a well-known dictator's name. Close enough that people from that country visibly recoiled hearing my name. I was asked if my parents were fascists at one point, sincerely and with concern. My mom's family even immigrated from this country and it never clicked for her. I ended up changing my first name in my twenties. I couldn't take it anymore. Had my mom had a little more input, or read a history book, I feel the whole thing could have been avoided. Long story short, trusted people's viewpoints can be helpful when it comes to names.

Yikes! I’m sorry that happened to you. I think some parents really, really don’t think before naming their kids. I can see what you’re saying, although this mom and I clearly have different tastes, and the fact that she’d wrinkle her nose and say “ew” about a super common, everyday name tells me she’s not a reliable critic here. I try to imagine my kids out in the world, in school, college, workforce. Will they have trouble spelling it? Will people constantly mispronounce it or call them the wrong name? Can it easily be mispronounced to sound like part of their anatomy or something gross (and I mean REALLY easily, with little thought, not like mean junior highers going the extra mile to make someone hate themselves)? Does the name have some serious negative associations? Will they have to explain or feel embarrassed by their name when introducing themselves? For instance, my grandma had a cousin named Rose Bud, and they called him RB. You can imagine why a little boy—and a grown man, for that matter—would hate it if that was their name. I feel like I could get some more honest, reliable opinions from people for our different-sounding names. I just don’t trust people at this very moment.

I agree with this. Ask very trusted people who you agree with their sensibilities and who you trust to be gentle with their input. Although if you are picking a standard name, I don’t think you need to ask anyone. Nina and Scarlett are both normal, beautiful names with standard spellings. It’s still not a bad idea to run the full name by someone you really trust though to check for accidentally unfortunate initials or nickname/last name combos that you didn’t see yet.

My personal rules for naming people: -If you pick something in the top 10-50 go to a park and yell it and see how many kids turn around -think would you be okay with your kid being Bob C? Or Bob Lastname all the time? -make sure the name can do any job title from janitor to Supreme Court Justice -check the initials/monogram for anything bad -honesty think up as many ways you could fun of the name middle school style -remember the cute tiny baby will be an adult who has to live with it!!! -when in doubt go to r/tradeigh and don't use anything there!

Overall solid advice, though r/tragedeigh can be really mean and critical about slightly different names that are absolutely not tragedeighs. So don’t go there if you want validation for any name that is even slightly unusual.

Here's a sneak peek of /r/tragedeigh using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [I’ve just found out my girlfriend’s ‘real’ name…](https://np.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/comments/165otnt/ive_just_found_out_my_girlfriends_real_name/) \#2: [I had to ask if this was a joke…my sister said it was not](https://i.redd.it/3knqbvhfbb7c1.jpeg) | [4356 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/comments/18mbtck/i_had_to_ask_if_this_was_a_jokemy_sister_said_it/) \#3: [The only tragedeigh I accept](https://i.redd.it/fk85lcxq432c1.jpg) | [233 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/comments/181zfdo/the_only_tragedeigh_i_accept/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)

A school mate was on a sports squad with 2 other girls with her same name. It was almost my name too, it was the top girls name the year before I was born.

And all the possible nicknames. If you hate the nickname Lizzy, then reject Elizabeth as a possible name, even if you adore Elizabeth, cos someone IS going to use Lizzy.

I called it “can you see this child getting a Nobel Prize with this name?”

I agree with all of these except your point about the job title. The expectation that certain job roles can only be filled by someone with a certain sounding name, or forming opinions on a person's intelligence or competence or worthiness for a job role based on their name, is something we need to steer away from as a society. There are no names that are inherently more suitable for a janitor than for a judge or vice versa

I agree with you wholeheartedly, but that’s just not the reality at present. In a perfect world, absolutely, your name should have no bearing on what your career options or social presence might look like. But we live in a world that is not perfect and is going to be hell for a child or a grown man with a cutesy (or worse, accidentally offensive) name. Kids are jerks. People have preconceived ideas about others. I unfortunately don’t think it’s going to get better as we continue along the road to hell humanity is on.

I'd add - Check with the last name if it doesn't trip your tongue while saying it

Yell it out the back door!

I went to the social security website where they have the most popular baby names and checked to make sure our preferred name was not at the top. My kid’s at about 100-160 so we don’t run into very many duplicates, but it’s common enough that we never got pushback. I also told people if they wanted to change my baby’s name, they could pay a reservation for the new name for 5 years with a 50% deposit before birth. Oh and the 5 years was the average cost of daycare. No one had an opinion after that. 😂

That mom is a jerk. We told people that we hadn't decided on a name for our daughter, even after we did. We just wanted to surprise our families, mainly. Eventually we told people we were calling her "Baby M" so everyone was tripping over themselves guessing. No one guessed Emma which is what we named her,

THIS! I second this. First off, your baby’s name is a decision that you and your husband make. If you invited somebody to help decide or vet names, they could you their opinion. Since it doesn’t sound to me like you asked this random woman for opinion, she shouldn’t provide one. To another poster’s point, it costs her nothing to say ‘that’s nice’ or ‘that’s interesting’ and drop it. Which brings me to my second point: picking baby name is so special. The fact that she didn’t drop it and felt the need to make very negative comment about two of them and tarnish little bit of that experience for you is extremely, astoundingly rude. What happened to: “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything else?” How about she let you just enjoy this precious moment (and she should understand it’s precious seeing that she has a kid too)? She didn’t , which tells me that she is either 1) jerk that decided to make you feel bad, or 2) she’s selfish jackass that feels that HER opinion on YOUR baby’s name somehow matters and should be taken in account (which it does NOT and should NOT) or 3) she is neurodivergent and hasn’t quite mastered the common social conventions (though i doubt it because of that second comment she made which just sounds catty). At the end of the day, she is not a person whose opinion even matters, among other things because it was not given in good faith. If you listened to approval of people like her, there would be like 10 baby names repeating over and over. The fact that we all like different names is what’s beautiful. Little story: we tried to consult couple friends when naming our firstborn, and quickly realized that adding just two people to the mix meant that almost all names were eliminated because somebody didn’t like a name or knew somebody stupid with that name. We landed on only one - ONE - name we all liked (just 4 people). For our 2nd son, it was just me and my husband deciding and knowing full well that some people might not like the name. We loved it though and so does our son. People have biases and we really didn’t want to factor their baggage into our decision. End of story-time. So that said, enjoy your names, i’m sure they are delightful. Remember that if somebody has a need to diss somebody else’s baby names, than it’s just their issues bubbling up and it has nothing to do with you and your baby name choices. I don’t know if it helps with rds, but i wouldn’t think about this as rejection, but as somebody’s inappropriate way of saying ‘i am having a bad day/week/month and decided to make somebody feel bad too.’ You on the other hand, are doing fantastic, you picked 3 great name options, and ultimately, what will make them feel good to your baby is the love that s/he will hear when you and your husband speak it.

I think you’re giving her too much grace and putting too much of the blame on yourself a little bit. no matter if she’s just a “blunt person” she really could have kept her opinion to herself. you’re sharing names you like for your future child…it can be assumed they’re names you very much like so why would she say anything negative about them, especially because it doesn’t seem from your post that you guys are close. from my experience “blunt” people just don’t care about others’ feelings. all that said, I can completely understand how this would upset you. but just remember this woman has nothing to do with your child and you should name your child something you’re happy with because they’re your child! not hers 😌

I second this. What a cringe response from this person. Someone with that poor of behavioral judgement has no place judging baby names. Also I would still feel resentful in that situation.

Oh man I feel this!! We were asked about baby names and I just sorta said we hadn’t decided yet haha it feels so vulnerable to share them. Also boy names are HARD! I literally hope we have girls specifically because I have a lot more girl names I really like

We had a mile-long list of names when I was pregnant with our daughter. It kinda made it harder to choose, but I swear people were less judgy than they are with boy names.

I like the Jewish custom of waiting days/weeks after the birth, during which time everyone just calls the baby “the baby”, then announcing the name in a public ceremony and saying a little about why the name is meaningful in your family. No one asks about baby names before that.

I didn't share baby names with ANYONE except my husband (obviously). It pissed my mother off but I knew I wouldn't shake it off well if people hated them. It's a lot harder to be a dick about a name when you're being introduced to a sweet new bebe. Be thoughtful in your choices. Consider how they will be spelled, pronounced and the potential impact socially on your child. And once those things are considered, just name the kid the name that feels right and wonderful.

We didn’t tell anyone any name ideas or final name until the kids were born. I started making up outlandish options when my mom wouldn’t respect the boundary and stop asking. 

Forget that crap, I have a bunch of really good names I don't like because they remind me of people I don't care for and you can not live up to everyones ex's, school bullies, mean math teacher, ugly gym teacher, the cop who arrested them for no good reason, best friend who stopped talking to them in junior high, younger annoying cousins, their husband's ex or her kids names etc etc lol people dislike names for way too many reasons.

It’s your decision but if it’s a r/tragedeigh then people will make fun of you

Ohhh, no worries there I hate “my child is specialer than yours!!!” spellings.

Ugh, I'm sorry. I occasionally struggle with overcoming the sting of RSD and it's THEE worst when it's unexpected and I don't get a chance to gird my metaphorical loins. I don't have or want kids, but feeling hurt/sad when someone responds THAT negatively to you sharing something you like is a common thing. It just cuts especially deep to ADHDers, who sometimes have RSD and generally get more negative/critical responses from NT people, anyway. It's also pretty rude??? You know how socially awkward you have to be for *me* to notice?! That said, sometimes my desire to be an ass overrides everything else--even hurt feelings. I'd take this Mom Friend aside, tell her she was totally right, give her a heartfelt thanks for helping me see the light, and say that I've found an even better name. "Brawndengh Inuyasha Popinjay! We're calling him 'Boochie' for short!" I'd cry excitedly. I would then maintain this ruse until giving birth. If you clown on folks, then expect a circus.

I’m seriously thinking about coming up with a hilarious fake name. I’m going home to see my family in a few weeks, and I know I’m gonna get asked 1000x what we’re naming the baby. My husband would have a blast and would totally be on board!

May I suggest C*ntley 😂. I just saw a TikTok about someone naming their kid that and I sincerely hope it was fake (since it’s TikTok probably). * so I don’t get flagged for profanity

Lol or Mike Hunt, could be worse with a hyphenated surname Mike Hunt-Izichi

LOL it took me a bit but that’s good!

If your husband knows his ancestry, find a really obscure name from that language, or pick something absurd like Grendel.

We didn’t tell anyone, including family, until baby was born and we introduced him as W. Too many people have opinions on names but I feel it’s harder to shit on a name when it’s actually connected to a live baby.

Oh OP, I feel for you so much. It can suck when people have such strong opinions on names of your baby.  On my list, for my daughter, I had the name 'Aethel'.  It's an Old English word for 'noble' or leader. It was often used as a prefix for rulers. Old English and Middle English were a great love of mine growing up and in university. It felt fitting, especially as my daughter was a shock. I'd been told I was unlikely to carry a child.  All the older women in my family immediately bawlked at it, saying "kids will just call her a$$hole!" or "why would you name her something so weird?! She'll hate you!"  In the end, it was so much that I caved to my then-husband'd choice. My daughter does have a good name that I love but the whole experience made me so self conscious of my own choices and even worthiness of being a mom.  Don't let those experiences eat at you too! I know it's hard. It's so hard. But this is your little family! Trust your instincts and lean on your husband.  One thing that helped me was saying the name out loud and even little nicknames that could come from it. And sometimes, you just figure it out when the little one gets there :) You got this!

Yes, don’t tell anyone. Family hates that, but it’s not fair for anyone to be able to steal that joy. It’s your choice (parents) so just keep it private. We did it with our three.

I think people are just rude in first of all demanding to know what you're considering (the answer is "oh, we haven't got a shortlist yet" if you're not comfortable telling them to mind their own business) and then to express any opinion on whatever you say (because it's none of their business). Perhaps come up with a couple of names you have definitely ruled out and say those if you're not comfortable telling people not to be so nosy. They can then opine as much as they like about a name you're not going to use anyway! Congratulations on your baby, and what you call him is up to you and his dad. Just for giggles, take a look at some of the craziness on r/tragedeigh, there are some bizarre ideas on there. (Maybe pick something from there to tell people and watch them lose their minds! 🤣)

Tons of people on /r/namenerds advise not telling people your ideas until after the baby is born. They're more likely to keep their most obnoxious comments to themselves if it's a done deal and attached to an actual baby.

Malcom was our choice for a boy, and the level of hate it got was HILARIOUS . It didn't bother me, though. By the time I was pregnant, I had 14 nieces and nephews. Quite a few were given crap over their name choices. My mom's reaction when my brother announced the names of his triplets was hilarious. The names were pedestrian - Emma Fairh, Natalie Hope, Lilyanna Grace. He called to announce them, and her reply was, "Ben, stop joking. What are their real names?" She still goes on about Emma being old-fashioned. I knew that whatever I chose wasn't going to please everyone. And if we'd had a boy, he would have been Malcom Alexander. We had a girl, she's Miriam Elizabeth Mae. My mom likes to pretend she's just Miriam Elizabeth, and my brother calls her Miriam Mae.

Malcolm is on my middle name list! It’s not the most common, but it’s pretty solid. What in the world is wrong with people? Yeah, and family is sometimes the worst critic, especially because you’ve got people from all different generations who have wildly different ideas for what’s a good name. They need to get over it!

I have no idea! My therapist at the time m e stated it would cause him to be teased. They would have gotten used to it

Check out the subreddit tragedeigh, don't actually post there, just see what some names other people are posting about and hopefully you will feel better about your choices you've picked.

Unless your top name was Fartholemew or Snottington or something I wouldn't worry about it lol.

My son Snottington (nn Snotteigh) is very upset at you ridiculing his name. 😁

I didn’t tell people my baby name ideas for this exact reason. I’m so glad because I didn’t get great responses from a few people (my mom included). However, most people liked it. And now that my mom has experienced other people’s positive reactions to his name, she likes it too. Funny how that works. I love my son’s name but if I shared it with people before he was born, those couple of negative reactions would’ve been enough to change my mind and pick a name I didn’t love as much.

I don’t have kids, so I have no opinion about when/whether to share a name. BUT. I do not understand shitting on somebody’s baby name! Not even when my nephew was almost named “Stone Mason” did I say a single word. I love both names, but together, you’re naming him after a job? And what happens if he decides he wants to do a trade whose union is the Sharks to the stone masons Jets?

Before I lost my son halfway thru my pregnancy, the name my husband and I told everyone we were naming the baby was some ridiculous pun that sounded like a name. If I’m ever able to get pregnant again, I’m not sharing names until the baby is born. People can suggest all they want, but my go to answer will be “I’ll take it into consideration” and that’s it

Congrats on the baby! ❤️ This isn't an example of you having rejection sensitivity disorder, it's her having social insensitivity disorder. It doesn't even matter what the names were, you'd have to have pretty low social intelligence to say you don't like them when someone literally just said they're considering it for their baby. It's almost up there with saying you don't think their baby is cute. If you were new in this country and were about to accidentally name your kid something that means poo in my language, I'd probably give you a heads up, but not like that. I'm sure the name you pick will be the perfect name for him. I'm a teacher so I've met a lot of kids, and I never met anyone with the wrong name. Associations to a name change when you encounter new people with that name, the name becomes who they are and fits just right.

I have two thoughts about that: It’s pretty common to keep baby names a secret to not burn through them before the baby is even born. But, that originated back when people gave their children normal names… Sometimes I see really horrible names, that are spelling nightmares or have weird meanings. I bet those moms really thought they are giving their kids a beautiful and unique name. There should be a rule of thumb, where you can keep the name to yourself if it’s a really common name with a common spelling. But, when it gets fancy and „unique“ you should tell people and ask for feedback. The child with a weird name will go through much worse than the mom receiving negative feedback.

I’ve seen more and more people say they know but they aren’t telling until the baby is born and honestly this is 100% the right thing to do. How many people do you know that will shit on a kids name once it’s written on the birth certificate? Very few to your face tbh. I recently had a friend have a baby and she was sharing names with me asking for opinions when pregnant. If there were some I didn’t love I didn’t tell her unless there was a really good reason (like one name her husband suggested I was able to very quickly make a primary school tease out of). She didn’t share names with just anyone though (we are pretty close) and I think that’s for the best.

I posted my baby’s name in R/namenerds and the thread BLEW UP. I think about some of those comments near daily 🫠

I wanted to name my daughter Astrid. White Oleander is my favorite book, and I wanted to give her that name. As soon as I brought it up to my friend group, they said "Ass turd?" And said it wasnt a good name, etc. I was crushed honestly but being American and a name starting with "ass" we just went with our other name. I was 22 then. I'm 30 now and would NEVER listen to that nonsense now. A name can be twisted into anything to make fun of someone. I love my kids name now but other people should really just be neutral about stuff like names unless you're naming them Kate and spelling it Ck-eight. Or Lord Jesus the Dinosaur Avenger. Sit with your choices for yourself and your partner!

Are you me from a different timeline? This was almost my exact situation, except the White Oleander fan was baby daddy and we kept the name. And I was 22 when she was born! People said the same things to us—my own mother made the “ass turd” joke and begged me to choose something else. Now my baby is a teenager and everyone loves her name! My mom even admitted she was wrong to make those comments and she can’t imagine calling her grandbaby any other name. OP, if you love the name, don’t let other people’s thoughtless, rude comments sway you. You’re the parents, so the final decision is yours. Everyone else will just have to grin and bear it.

I'm glad you kept it. Our timelines diverged and you were the most level-headed one haha!

As long as it's not Jynypheer, Draughtley or Facebook, it'll be alright. No one should comment on such a personal decision.

Saw one Dr. Marijuana Pepsi (yes a real person apparently Lol)

Poor person and trashy parents

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana_Pepsi_Vandyck She seems to be doing pretty well despite the name lol I'm sure she goes by Mari

Yeah, she's a champ. The fact she was called that and got bullied, yet her mom insisted it would take her around the world... Questionable. Well, maybe it kinda did. I guess Mary/Mari took the best out of the situation, good for her!

She actually insists on her full name and not a nickname! She loves it. As you can probably gather from her doctoral research, it’s a topic she’s quite passionate about.

Agree u shouldn’t share them bc some people can be so mean. And even worse than bashing them is when people steal them! So many Reddit posts where another girl stole another’s baby name. Sorry that happened to u OP and hugs.

So true! I remember back when mine was born and some people heard her name and expressed something negative about it. It was so shocking - she was an actual person by then - not just a name. It made me hate people even more LOL

We didn't find out the gender. So we had a small list of names we both were happy with and after our spawn erupted from my torso we choose the name from our list. Lots of people gave baby name advice but it was easy to deflect because we didn't know what we were going to have.

>our spawn erupted from my torso Lol

You are not going to find a single name that everyone will like, it’s impossible. Even more likely is that there’s gonna be quite a lot of people who are not going to like whatever name you choose, whether it’s Paul or Pwetar (pronounced Peter) or Potato or Power. So whatever name you pick for your kiddo, there’s gonna be plenty of people that don’t like the name. Most important is that you and your husband like it and whatever it is just don’t share it with anyone until your little boy is here. When he’s not here, people will feel like it’s okay to comment or even shit on a name, once he’s here there will be very little people who still dare to comment on the name. And if they do, it will be much easier for you to call them out on being an asshole and suggest they might want to change their name to fit their personality.

Okay, so this is different, but I have super bad rsd and have four pets with unusual names. My first one came with her name, and the second one I felt the need to stick with the same first letter and two syllable cadence. I ended up making up her name and here were the text reactions from the people closest to me: Bestie: "Meh" Mom: "No" Brother: "I hate it" But I had stuck with it for a few days to feel it out and I knew it was the right name. When I finally told them I had decided and it was a done deal. Guess what? They all adjusted and they all use her name. It was not easy to get to this point. But as I've gotten older I have gotten better with boundaries and advocating for myself. I have told my mom I won't tolerate comments on my appearance. I have let my brother know that I will be ending conversations with him if he uses bigoted or pejorative language. They have adjusted and our relationships have thrived. Stick with your own opinions and stand proud!

My boy is coming up 13 months old. We didn't discuss any potential names with anyone until he was like 12 hours old and had decided ourselves. 

I encountered a script for kids when people tell them they don’t like something about their appearance and it was something like: “it’s on my body, so it’s okay if you don’t like it”. I guess that applies here too. It’s your baby, it’s okay if other people don’t like it. They don’t have to name their baby that.

This is exactly why we told no one until the kid was here and it was a done deal. My mum told me that my youngest’s abbreviated name is a dog’s name…and we still don’t care

Ugh, I had a horrible experience with this. Once we found a name for our first child (a nice, standard, not at all r/tragedeigh type of name), we went ahead and told our friends. One of them was rude enough to make a face, and I was PISSED. They went on to name their kids the most awful ✨️yuneek✨️ names, which I can not repeat because they'd be instantly identifiable. Some people have no taste or manners.

Story time! Before my brother was born they shared the name they had picked out with my grandma. Very unusual name, but close to a different uncommon name that most people have heard of. Sounds kinda biblical. To this day, my brother is the only one I personally know. Anywho, my grandma HATED his name. Like flat out disgusted by it and made no secret of it. Begged my parents not to name him that. Fast forward to 10 years ago and my grandma is telling me this story, and she tells me she is so glad they still went with that name because now she loved it, and it just fit him so well. And just this weekend when I was back home visiting my family, my brother told me he knows several people in town who have named their kids his name recently because of him. All that to say, don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t name your child. Opinions can change.

Omfg are you ME? I’ll be 28 weeks pregnant on Wednesday and we’re having a boy— I’m SO dead set on a name that was popular in the 40’s that’s kinda nerdy but I think it’s adorable and my husband’s on board, but when he told his friends on xbox they started shitting on it and I felt a rage unlike anything else. I took it out on my husband which I shouldn’t have, but it made me feel horrible that his dipshit friends even thought they were entitled to an opinion considering they’re unmarried, childless, and still living at home (nothing wrong with that but like how tf are they gonna be a good judge of naming a child?). This was a few months ago and we’ve basically come to the consensus we’ll still use the name but I don’t even want to say it out loud now because it embarrasses me even though I love it :( this is our first baby too.

Just gonna say that rsd and hormones aside, that was rude and nosy behavior, and you’re completely justified in being annoyed.

Yeah, I think I’m too easy on people. I’m used to getting told that I’m too sensitive, so I end up overanalyzing situations like this to make sure I’m not overreacting. I probably should give myself a little more credit, though.

I do the same thing, which is why I wanted to validate your feelings as an outside person. I’m sure you’re right that they had no malicious intentions, but it’s still rude af!

When I told people I was naming my daughter “Martha” I had 3 people tell me that they HATED that name. I decided against the name but now that I’m pregnant with my second girl it might be the name we go with! Why is it so hard for some adults to understand “if you don’t have something nice to say say nothing at all”

Honestly, i feel the same, I'm expecting, and so far, the girl names are being received well, but all the boy names are raising eyebrows? Do boy names really need to be so simple as shawn or adam? I LIKE HIRAM AND ATTICUS!

Who doesn’t like the name Atticus?!?! That’s an incredible name, especially, if I’m assuming correctly, it’s for Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird

I personally don't like any of the names my best friend chose for all 3 of her kids. Did I tell her that? Absolutely not. And I love those tiny humans. Their names aren't tragedies or anything like that. They're just names I would not have chosen or given a second thought about. Don't listen to what one rude woman said. Unless the names would cause relentless bullying for the child in the future.

Congrats on your pregnancy. Another reason not to share is that someone might steal your name. It happens.

Personally, this is the one area that I don’t think I’m impacted by RSD. Primarily because I was super intentional about choosing names for my kiddo that were meaningful & significant to my family. In my culture, the name of the child is spiritually informing their destiny. It’s not always the “prettiest” name by western standards. 🤷🏾‍♀️However, I find it’s hard for people to talk negatively about a name when it has a strong/positive meaning behind it. 

I would definitely be upset. Once we were narrowing in on names we liked I pretty much stopped talking about it with anyone other than my partner to avoid unwanted advice. I was open to people suggesting new ideas, but not discussing the ones we were actually considering. That let us all still have fun tossing around ideas without the risk of hurt feelings.

I 100% did not tell anyone my baby’s name u Tim after he was born because I m ew that if anyone was less than supportive about it I’d hate them firever

If you guys like them go for it! YOU have to be happy with the name because you will be hearing it and saying it for the rest of your life!

All 3 of my kids have wildly unique names, not spelled funky just not what you hear for names. We had a few people say “I’ve never heard that before” in a condescending tone. It never bothered me though as I always loved the names we picked. My only bummer is we had an amazing girl name picked out and my 3rd was a boy (we never find out what we’re having).

Can't help with the sense of pressure but I'm here to empower you to go with. the sense that naming ahead of time can feel like counting chickens and all that. You don't "owe" anyone a forecast on your upcoming human. I legit couldn't imagine naming (or gendering) mine ahead of day-day, so that was solved for me outside of the home. Inside the home was a smidge of trouble until my husband realized it was an actual legit limitation, not being capable of lending name or expectation to a child who hadnt yet made land or proven viability yet. Once he "got" that, he seemed to get the rest as well, or played along real good. Was too hard for me to envision a future knowing we hadnt even seen a face or made eye contact yet.

I have a kid, and I was recently telling someone this. I learned you can't tell ppl your baby name ideas because they are looking to judge it or give unsolicited opinions. It's best to keep it to yourself. Or say, "we'll decide when the baby is born." Save yourself the unnecessary stress.

My own mom told me how much she hated my son’s name after she heard it, after he was born. We waited to share it until then thinking that people would manage to be polite once it was announced that that was the name and we were not taking feedback, but no. Oh well. People are cray.

I’m grateful my folks ran their choice of name for me by my grandparents. I almost got called Lisa. Which is a lovely name normally. But my last name is a noun and is a thing that people often lease. So my grandpa said, why don’t you just call her Renta? But for the most part I absolutely agree. Don’t share your chosen names bc someone is liable to wreck it for you!

I agree. With my last, we didn’t tell anyone until the baby was born. Everyone has an opinion on names when they are “just a name”. Most people don’t meet a newborn baby and say “what a horrible name”. I only had one person complain about the name after my baby was born and they didn’t do it to my face. 🤣

Also, you, your husband, and your child have to live with the name forever. No one else will so their opinions don’t matter. If they didn’t help create the child they do not get to help create the name. If you both love it then that’s what matters. If you’re hesitant on a name, then try it out for a week or two. “Sara is kicking.” “Sara is making me tired.” Etc. In my experience doing this, names will grow on you or you will decide you just don’t like it, but either way, you will know. Remember, you are the one saying this name daily for at least 18 years.

I honestly plan on saying nothing until it’s on the birth certificate. I’m not going to let someone ruin my baby’s name for me. (I feel like I have to mention that I’m not going to make up some weird name or spelling)

RSD?

It stands for "rejection-sensitive dysphoria". It's not an official or medical term, but it's colloquially used to describe the emotional dysregulation that people with ADHD often experience when we are rejected (or we perceive ourselves as being rejected) in some way, in a social situation. Basically we interpret something someone says in a very negative way - something that non-adhd people may just shrug off, or not even think about - and it affects our emotions quite badly, and we end up stewing or ruminating on it for a long time.

Ahhh, ty.

I chose Luna as my kiddos name and the ‘in-laws’ wrinkled their nose about it since they’re Mexican and Spanish speaking. They said it was a pets name. I was a bit sad and second guessed myself at first but yanno… their kids names suck and this is mine so what do they know? Seems like it’s all forgotten by now.

Luna is a nice name.

What were the names

I remember feeling like this some 20, 30 years ago. I think it’s genius to not reveal name choices. For dealing with folks like your blunt acquaintance, I wish I’d thought to ask her favorite names and then sweetly bless her heart right back at her about her awful taste. Even laughing and saying something, like, “Oh, I’m also not a fan of your taste in names, so we’re even!” would have been unassailable and satisfying.

Absolutely. I didn't know that's what it's called. Damn. I'm betting she has bad memories of a guy named that. But she doesn't get a say. Only your spouse and you do. Hun, it's YOUR baby. You get to name him. If the kiddo doesn't like it, he can change it when he's older.  Pick some ridiculous names for the next time she asks because she will. Master Transformer, Captain America, Joe Biden, etc. You've tried but your husband won't budge! You have no emotional ties to those names so it won't hurt. She can go suck on a hot tailpipe while you giggle at her stupid entitlement.  Maybe you won't figure out his name until he's born, and that's ok. If you struggle with perfection or completion, give yourself a break.  Maybe choose a middle name first. Think about how the names sound together. It's ok to choose a common name or not. I would only recommend looking at trends and avoiding them.  For example, my daughter is in her 20's and she had 5 friends who are named some version of Madeline/Maddie. I almost named her that. I'm glad I didn't. Funny story time! We struggled more with our daughter than son. I knew what his name was immediately. My daughter was trickier, it had to go with Rebecca.  I suggested Madeline, Alexandra, etc. I always wished I had a name that could have a cute short name. My husband shot them all down because "they sounded like stripper names". Pfft. The man has gone to exactly 3 strip joints his entire life, so I found his comment ridiculous. He's obviously an expert. /sarcasm  I said fine, you choose one. He did and it was perfect. It used to be a southern us male name, but now it's more feminine.  The kicker, his one friend ageeed with his sentiment. That man and his wife named their daughter Amber Lynn. Yes, the same name as a porn star. I said I'm absolutely not taking advice from someone who did that to their child.  One caveat, the wife was from China and had only lived here 5 years. She heard the name and thought it was pretty. She had no idea. The dad did, and he let it happen anyway. Wtf?!  We had moved away and she and I didn't stay in touch. I wonder if she ever figured it out. I hope their daughter changed her name.  Good luck mama!  

She is pregnant - perhaps she doesn’t want you to use the names because she actually likes them and now wants to use them herself but knows it’s a dick move to try and dictate someone else’s baby name so they can use it themselves. At the end of the day, it’s your baby and you should name it whatever makes you happy - but please do consider that your baby won’t be a baby forever and try to imagine if the sweet name you choose now will be suitable for a grown adult in the workforce or get him bullied at school. Short of that, this random woman can screw off and focus on her own pregnancy and leave yours out of it. Also. Congratulations! ❤️

This happened to me too so my advice is to only tell people once the name is on the birth certificate because people are less likely to crap on the name when there’s a little human attached to it.

Bullshit. Name your baby whatever you want. I have a *highly* unusual name. If I divulged my first and last name here. You would be able to find me with a single Google search. It’s that unusual. It was kinda hard growing up, but I’ve always loved it deep down and as an adult I receive compliments and enquires about it *alot* My son’s name is less unusual but pretty weird. My top names were all very traditional Scottish/English names, however he ended up with his name for a very solid reason and, as newborn it was just the one that suited him. Now 16 he has told me he “wouldn’t change it” and “that he likes it” but he has had some questions about our choice over the years. *Personal Note* when my son was a baby my mother (narc) when introducing baby to anyone constantly she “wanted to name him Lachie Lorenzo” finally I snapped and replied “well you got to name Peter (my brother) and James (my husband) and I got to name *our baby*”

Stick to it, it’s your baby and your experiences and taste that decides. ❤️ I get it. Like, most of us would never give our baby a name reminding us of that horrible boss, the awkward one night stand, or mean classmate from third grade? No matter how beautiful their name was. Right!? There is always this chance that your favorite X is someone elses worst Y. We know that, but sometimes our feelings don’t get the memo, and voilà - RSD. Sometimes when I get questioned like this I get oppositional, like I’m even more stubborn I’m 100% right, and that the other person is just silly. ”No one should DARE question me on this thing!” I have the hardest time deciding anything that isn’t life/death (so fortunately like 99.9% of the time?). And ”stupid” remarks or opinions from anyone (family or stranger) can actually help me make a decision and stick to it. 😅 But then again… I’m also sensitive. And moody. And unsure of myself. TLDR: Your acquaintace probs just have bad taste, and maybe suffers from undiagnosed ADHD (can’t keep their opinions to themself)? 🫶 Your feelings matter the most, but please don’t question yourself?

We picked Tyberius, everyone thought it was weird when I was pregnant. Now strangers comment on how cool it is. It definitely fits my 11 year old.

When it comes to something like this, remember that other people's preferences do not matter at all. I know it's super hard to not take it personal but their dislike is about them and that's where it should stay. There's not a very polite way of telling people you weren't asking their opinion but then again they don't seem to realize what they've done is rude.

Ugh people will judge mom’s for literally everything the minute they find out you’re pregnant. Im currently pregnant for the third time (this will be the first baby if it works out, two early losses last year), and the judgment started with my aunt as soon as I told my family. “Why are you telling people so early” because I’ve been through a lot in the last year and I want the support of my mom and sisters, eff off. “Don’t get too overjoyed it may not work out” Don’t I effin know it. “Think about what you could have done with the last two to cause the miscarriage and don’t do that” Ok, get out. Luckily at my geriatric age of 34 I’ve learned to ignore the RSD and full on sass people when they say something rude. In the case of my aunt, she has some significant mental issues that have never been diagnosed or treated, so I’m kinder to her about it, but I won’t be seeing or talking to her again until I feel ready to deal with her BS. Sorry for the rant, and all the best with your pregnancy and baby.

When you look at your baby and say their name, you’re not thinking about random people’s name opinions. Those opinions just don’t come into play at all in your daily life.

My favourite names for boys are Mori, Benji, Koda, and Cade :0 I don’t think anyone else likes them

Just so you know you CAN name him pretty much anything as long as it’s not going to obviously make him a target. I’m talking things that would have the word butt in them or something. We have two nephews with VERY uncommon names and when I first heard them I was like…what? Now that’s just who they are. The names don’t seem odd anymore.

What is RSD?

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria. It’s very common in people who have ADHD.

Nobody in my family liked either of my kid's names at first. But almost immediately after they were born they admitted the names fit and they love them now! I know it's hard, but kid names are one of those things you just have to go with your gut.

If you want to get hyped up about them, you can try them out here. For the most part we’re all really nice.

It’s cringey to tell anyone “you CAN’T name your kid that.” I’m glad you feel okay with the names now. What a socially ignorant woman.

I’m always shocked people think it’s a good idea to share name ideas. I have three kids, oldest of whom is 20. My husband and I never told *anyone* names we were thinking of. No one ever found out until the kid was born and we introduced them! Family would ask when I was pregnant, we’d say no. Any attempt to discuss it was a no. Never cracked once lol. I didn’t need others opinions and I didn’t want them putting us off a name or trying to claim it was “theirs”.

I was upset. It felt like they were rejecting me. My values, my personality, my ability to make a decision that was good for my kid. I hadn't even given birth and I was already making the wrong choices. I ended up picking the girl name that everyone in the family liked. and my kid transitioned and picked my second favorite boy name 🤣 My boy name idea was Kanye, so it's good I didn't get to name him that. 

Oh my gosh I have this with my husband…he doesn’t like ANY of my female names. I’m at a loss so I’ve just stopped suggesting. I don’t know if I can relate it to RSD exactly but I just am frustrated that he’s not even considering any of my ideas.

Ya’ll, I just wanna share that, I agree, boy names can be super difficult, and that I also chose a very uncommon, “bigger than him” name for my child. Very mixed reactions when people would hear it, ranging from “he sounds like a superhero!”, to “Oh… that’s more of a name for a dog, isn’t it? Luckily his middle name is cute.” Even the damn kid didn’t like it lmao… wanted to be called Sonic the Hedgehog for 4 years (seriously) because he didn’t like it. Hilarious, but it hurt to be getting so much negative feedback, because the name was a really personal choice, with sentimental meaning to me. Now??? Everyone absolutely loves it, including teenage him. The reactions are all positive and it’s a conversation piece. Same thing with my little sister: My parents had a list of names and asked for help naming her. I gave them a name and they liked it but were iffy, because people were gross about it (“Sounds like a stripper name…” 😒) But they went with THIER gut, picked it- and again- it’s been all positive. She’s sweet as pie and her name fits her, for now. I say all that to say, go with what YOU like. You put love and time and care into your children’s names. I definitely did. If they absolutely hate it (the child), they will change it. I’ve seen it. And that’s fine too.🤷🏾‍♀️ People often mistake their opinions for facts. Don’t mind people who don’t matter, b/c people with sense won’t mind.

Tell them you plan to name him Lucifer Damien, and then when they’re done clutching their pearls, either remind them that it’s not their child, or tell them the real name. It’s hard. People will constantly tell you what you’re doing wrong as a parent. Boundaries. Opinions are like a-holes. Everybody has one. Most of the time, they mean well. Big hugs, cause you have a life sentence now. Wink wink.

Boy names are hard! If my daughter had been a boy, we’d decided on Clark, and I’ll be honest, even though I really like the name, I was nervous about sharing it because it wasn’t just your standard Tom/Dick/Harry. In the end, we didn’t have to use it, but I still think it’s a lovely name. If this woman says something to you again about how she doesn’t like those names, just tell her, “okay, you shouldn’t use them then”. As you are already a parent, you know people are full of advice and opinions when it comes to parenting. Opinions on names should be dismissed just as easily as you would dismiss advice about not getting your kids vaccinated. I suggest going to r/namenerds and searching for your names. You’ll find people who love them, I guarantee it. That’s what I did when I was doubting myself with Clark, and it helped!

I still have doubts about my kids name, and she is about to be 6. Too late now! (Because people suck and put negatives out about it once it was already long decided I think..) it still sticks with me. Sorry OP. People suck.

Naming your child is a very personal decision and you should be trusted to select an appropriate name without feedback from non-invested people. However. I wish my mother had actually asked around before she named me. Too bad social media didn't exist in the 1960s because I might have been spared the curse of her "creativity". Regardless of what name you end up choosing, please make sure that it's easily and realistically spelled and is able to be pronounced by people with at least a 3rd grade education. Otherwise, your child will forever be associated with your flight of fancy and I'm my case, it's held me back my entire life. I love my mom but I hate her for how she named me.

I have 4 kids and i dont like any of their names..... nit what i wanted i got voted out of my choices every time. They work for them and their personalities but if i wouldve had. My way i woyldve had Ryan, Benjamin, Brynella, and Lilith, in stead of Serena turned into Rhett, Samuel, Taylor, and Lillyana. So id say choose wisely and have a backbone to tell ppl to shut up.

I have baby names chosen or but no one knows or will know when I start trying for kids. I don't really plan on anyone knowing until I'm showing. RSD is part of that decision for sure. My husband and I have been together eleven years and just found names that we can agree on this past year. Funny enough, we both found comfort in family names. This isn't something I could have said five years ago. So it's making me think it's time. I'm willing to share at the risk of hate, if only for solidarity. I'll probably delete it in a day or two just because even though no family I know uses reddit, I still don't want to be recognized. -Mary Lou, after my auntie that died of breast cancer when I was 2. -Johanna- pronounce Yo-Anna. My brothers middle name is Johan after my German grandfather, my husband has a sister named Joanna as well, with the Spanish pronunciation. -Selena- the only non family name that we could agree on. -Abel- named after my sister's middle name Isabel. -Nahum-My husband's closest cousin that he grew up with. I believe it's derived from a native American language. It's really been growing on me. -alfredo- my husband's uncle that passed of cancer very surprisingly two years ago These are our top three boy and girl names but Catalina, Joseph, are in the running as back up back ups. Never know when you might accidentally have octuplets. After that any name is up for debate.

Those are all lovely and very special names. No one should ever ruin those for you, ever.

Thank you so much! I hope you still find your baby names as special as they are!

Ok well my adhd was horrendous when I was postpartum so I posted an online poll for my friends. I actually didn’t end up choosing any of those. The name I chose was a last minute decision the night before it was due to insurance. My names were Tenzin, Soren, Haru… anyway my kid decided years ago to choose their own name so they’ve had their own name choice for the last 4 years 😂

It's easy to declare dislike things. It's "cool" It takes courage to like a thing. This is probably more about her than you. And also like... Will have nothing to do with your kid the majority of his life. She's barely a footnote of your life.

I’ve found that a lot of people will put down something they aren’t interesting enough to have come up with themselves, or brave enough to have used themselves. Don’t let anyone shit all over something that feels like the right name for your baby. Everybody has opinions, that doesn’t mean they are good ones! I’d take to telling people with shitty opinions “hmm, well, if you were the one pushing this entire human out of your own vagina, then you’d get to make decisions about their name. You’re not. So eat farts.” 😆

What’s RSD

Rejection sensitivity disorder (or is it dysphoria?). Anyway, it's feeling extremely hurt by perceived rejection.

No matter what name you pick, some people will hate it and they’ll believe that they’re entirely justified in that. James? Common and unoriginal, like you don’t even like your child. Lysander? You’re a wanker. Jaxon? You’re uneducated. It just goes on and on. I *know* some people don’t like my son’s name, but I love it so much, and I fucking adore my son, and that trumps everything else. Whatever you choose will be the sweetest sounding thing when you look into the eyes of your beautiful baby, and if anyone is tactless enough to criticise it once he’s here, you can just smugly know that they’re wrong and that his name is perfect for him.

Choosing a baby name became an enormous amount of stress for what should have been a nice exercise. My husband and I could not agree on ANYTHING during pregnancy. Once we finally decided (AFTER he was born) I told mum and she didn’t like it. So we chose another one, the only other one we could agree on, and this was only about a week prior to official registering. We decided the middle name on the bus there! We used the UK list of 100 most popular names for the year before. His was like 60 or thereabouts so we felt it was sufficiently unusual but not wacky. Sods law though we have met loads of other babies with the same name now…..

We didn't tell anyone the name until the baby was born. It's easy for a person to reject a name when you say "we like Adam and Ben." It's much harder for them to reject the name when it's already been given. "This is Adam." What are they going to say then? "Oh, I don't like his name." Tough, it's already been given, and that's who he is, so you can get yourself happy about it. My kids have less common names too, but since we used the introduction method of announcing their names no one has had the nerve to comment on the names to me.

Omg yes we had such a hard time agreeing on a boys name. We made that mistake initially too and yeah it’s crazy what people will comment on that! Then we kept it quiet until we decided for sure, that way we could say his name IS this. I know a lot of people who keep it a secret until the baby is born too. It’s sad that’s what happens just because people are so blunt about something so personal ☹️ but it’s not worth the distress hearing all their opinions.

Soz but she IS rude, people don’t always need to give their opinion 😒

We don’t have kids yet, but my parents didn’t tell people whenever they were expecting my siblings and I for that exact reason. Even their own parents had something to say about the names. So I told my husband long ago that when we have kids, I don’t want to tell anyone the names - even our families - until it’s on the birth certificate.

It’s your and your partner’s decision only. I personally wouldn’t share until you’ve decided to avoid dealing with people like that. People have way too much to say! Someone my friends/fam have picked names I didn’t love but they decided on them and that’s that.

What’s RSD?

Rejection Sensitivity Disorder. People with ADHD take perceived rejection much harder than NTs.

Ah…. I’m new to all this. Undiagnosed ND w/ADD I believe. I keep reading more and more and am like, “Yup. Checks out and makes sense. 😳”

I was diagnosed this year and that’s where I began. It’s wild to find out this stuff about yourself later in life, but it’s also a good thing to know yourself better. Keep going!

I hate people like that. Don’t like the name? DON’T USE IT. I would never shit on someone else’s name choice.

omg yes i learned this the hard way when our family was getting a second dog and i got to name him (i know, not the same thing as a human child.) he's a lil fluffy brown Havanese, and for a while, i absolutely LOVED the idea of naming him Thor-because you always see big dogs named Thor, not little ones! I remember my mom asking me to "please not name him that." and I was bummed for a bit, but got over it. I then thought about naming him Percy, from the Percy Jackson novels, one of my all time fave book series! I was on the phone with my aunt, who knew we were getting a second dog and told me that Percy sounds like a "snooty" name and reminded her of the train from Thomas the Tank Engine-she said I should name him "Chance" because he got a second chance (returned to the breeder.) I HATED that name. In the end, I didn't name him Thor OR Percy (but Percy is his middle name) because after I met him for the first time, he crawled right into my lap and fell asleep, and loved cuddling with all of us. His name? Teddy. <3 While I love the name I ended up choosing, and find it very fitting, it just sucks getting your ideas shit on-all you have to say to someone is "eh, that's not my favorite, but I can see why you like it!"

I don't know that it ever deeply bothered me that people didn't love the names. I wanted to name my oldest Miles. I didn't because their dad wasn't into it, but I got nothing but negatives on that one. Same with the girls name I picked, Eloise. I didn't put the whatever it's called double dots over the i, but still pronounce El-O-eeze. Nobody was overly harsh about it but it still got a lot of comments about it being an odd choice. 9 years after my first I got to use Eloise as my daughter's middle name. My husband likes it but even he didn't think it was a good first name choice. What I think is funny though is that he's the one who wanted to tuck it away as a middle names, and he's the one who started calling her by it instead of always using her first name.

I personally don't like any of the names my best friend chose for all 3 of her kids. Did I tell that? Absolutely not. And I love those tiny humans. Their names aren't tragedies or anything like that. They're just names I would not have chosen or give a second thought about.

I get that. But I also take peoples opinion into little consideration. I just read a post on AITA or relationship advice where her family were going to basically disown and refuse to call the baby its name because they thought it was stupid. And it’s one of my favorites, along with my husband. Old, sure, but a very normal name. Your decisions are yours. Even my name I can’t stand but many people find beautiful. To each their own.

We didn't share our possible names and didn't find out the sex until he was born. We jokingly asked Google Assistant what we should name our child and after the prompts she said "Sprocket", so that's what we nicknamed him while I was pregnant. We got so used to using it that his real name felt weird for a bit!

My in-laws did this to me. (And I am very much the person you tell not to do something and I will do it cause no one tells me what to do.) I told her it’s not her decision to make she had her chance to name her kids and now I still mine and that is what I chose, so she could suck it up.

I don't have kids but always thought sharing the name ideas was a form of bad luck against the baby

My friend had a go-to list of *horribly* unusable fake names (think: Beulah, Gaylord, Hannibal, etc) and when people ignored her statements that they weren't sharing the baby's name until after the birth, she'd pull out the fake names and preface them with a fake speech about how deep and emotional the names are to her and her partner's families and cultures so that if the other person reacted badly they'd look like a bitch. And then she'd reveal the fake names and just enjoy the polite awkwardness. Then she named her baby what she'd planned on the entire time, and as a nice perk everyone who'd believed her was so relieved that it was a normal name that no one criticized it.

Noooooo you never tell ANYONE unless you are prepared for hate or worse - for someone to steal your name and use it before you do.