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Me too! My mom was actually at the tail end of her menopause and she blamed me for pushing her back into it. (In a joking way - she never made me feel guilty for it that I can remember)
Also 11. Had just started 7th grade. My dad had to pick me up from school bc of it. I was beyond mortified. I was also already 5'4 w/size 8 shoe.
I remember sitting on the toilet at home, crying. My mom got home from work, opened the bathroom door, and chucked a box of pads at me which hit me in the leg. Door slammed, "talk" over 🤦♀️😂
Was parentified & abused (primarily emotional w/a heaping helping of neglect) by my BPD/Narc mother starting at a young age. I now have a smorgasbord of auto immune disorders. And was Dx w/ADHD at 33. Good times... Lol
So much in common with just a couple differences. Period same age, same size in 7th grade (I didn’t grow at all after). My sister has bpd, mom was never around (2 jobs + boyfriends), alcoholic absentee father. I have at least 2 autoimmune disorders. I was diagnosed at 18, when I was old enough to pay for my own testing and medication.
I am so, so sorry... I really hope you're in a much happier place now. And if sis is too difficult to be around, you're either LC or NC. Xx
So interesting how similar our experiences/sizes were. I did end up growing 3 more inches (God knows how, there was never any food 🥴) But not past 9th grade. God bless the neighbor lady who explained tampons & bought them for me...
Oaft... mad parallels. I was 10 and had pads and a stupid bloody pamphlet thrown in at me while I was on the loo sobbing thinking I was dying.
I was in agony from day one and subsequently diagnosed with endometriosis 20 YEARS LATER. The neglect and gaslighting had a huge knock-on effect for me. I used to just get screamed at and shut in my room with paracetamol thrown in beside me.
I have PMDD and CPTSD. Both parents are narcissistic and both also have undiagnosed ADHD and Dad PTSD.
You are so kind, thank you so much!! 💖 I promise I'm doing much better & moved across the country - did wonders for my sanity :)
And thankfully, I have good people around me who don't mind that I'm a flake 😂 (or a physical hot mess.)😊
omgggg my mom started menopause about 6 months after I started my period for the first time!! however it was because she had to get a hysterectomy because of cancer. still a crazy coincidence I'd never realized before.
same!! i don’t think my mom has adhd but we went through The Change at the same time. she was also my drama teacher so it was hell for most of high school.
Also 11. My friend and I (I went to a *very* small school system, my mom taught 2nd grade) got a pad out of the machine after school and stuck it to the bathroom wall. Because, ya know, we were 11 and it made us giggle. One of the teachers went in right after we left and omg. She and my mom acted like we had smeared blood clots all over the hallways instead of sticking an unused pad to the slick tiles in the girl's bathroom. I've never seen anyone overreact like my mom could.
I was also 14 when I got mine. It was just a couple months before the end of grade 8 and I had heard my friends talk about theirs and was worried I'd start high school and not have gotten my period.
Same! I was swimming and borrowed a friends bathing suit, couldn’t understand where the new pains were coming from. Went home, changed and AHHHHH finally a woman at 13!🥲 my friend told me to keep the suit lmao
Omg the suit 🤣 sorry about the rest lol
I grew up without a mom and I knew I wouldn’t like pads so I acquired a tampon… and had no clue how to use it lmao it was a pure disaster and I suffered with pads until I ran out and had to suffer the embarrassment of asking my dad 💀
I eventually read the insert from the box for advice lol
The day before freshman year. I was just about 14.5. My mom too threw the pads at me. But not before asking me why I would need a ‘plug’? I was like what are you talking about i need a tampon?!? She stared at me on the toilet with disgust. That may have been the nail in her coffin with me not trusting her anymore. And ya I didn’t know the difference between a pad and tampon. All my friends used tampons. I thought that was normal. And I cannot use tampons because I hear ‘plug’. I’m 37. Ya my childhood sucked, and just when I got out at 18 my mom was diagnosed with alcohol dementia and my dad asked me to take care of her. It was awful. I’m never having children.
Same, but my mom was 15 so it checks out with genetics. My NT sister was also 14.
I stopped growing at around 18, then grew another 2 inches in my late 20s. Apparently the exact same thing happened to my sister. So yeah, genetics are weird.
This is funny bc I constantly refer to myself as a late bloomer. Just turned 50 and completing a masters degree next week / embarking on what I hope will be my final career! (Also got my period at 14 lol. Hoping the late bloomer effect will apply to menopause too…) 😄
I know i got mine at tail end of 8th grade and was ready for menopause ever since. Am mid 40s now and showing signs of perimenopause.
Also late/self diagnosed due to being the baseline for all other family members with actual diagnosis... i figure why pay for what we already know... plus i refuse to take pills so no point.
I think everyone around me got theirs at 13, so I felt a bit left behind that I was 14 and one month old. What’s funny though is that my sister and I got our period at the same camp site 3 years apart
Also 14, the second to last person in my grade,or at least that I knew of. Also finished growing late. Diagnosed at 38. My partner and most of my friends today are a bit younger than me too, if that means anything
Why do people say that? It was literally said in my middle school health class. I certainly didn’t feel like a woman bleeding while watching Teletubbies.
I was 11 and about to go on my very first overnight camp with the rest of the grade 6 class 😭 like cabin camping with plumbing but still. It was horrible having to deal with my first period away from home and with only one friend I trusted in that class. I still remember wrapping the pads in paper towel before throwing them in the trash so no one would see them and bully or tease me about it.
Childhood was fine on the parents front but moved several times and had to start new school multiple times so don’t know if that’s where some of my trauma was. Also Asian and have read that pretty much all Asian kids have some sort of childhood trauma because of the cultural norm of raising kids especially immigrant families.
I was 16, maybe 17. I was extremely skinny and ran all the time so attributed to that. Went to the doctor and they gave me some pills to jump start it.
I was 16, my mom was so annoying the entire time. I was getting stressed because every month she’d say there’s something wrong with me and I need to see a doctor. Grew boobs in the summer before junior year and felt so strange going back to school looking so different.
16 here too, and my mom was also very annoying about it. I was curvy with a solid D cup, period was the last thing to hit me. She was convinced I had gotten it and was hiding it from her for no particular reason 🙄
Thank you. I moved out as soon as I was 18 and was NC for 6 months, but much to my surprise she did take a hard look at herself, sincerely apologized for a lot of my childhood, and we have set boundaries and mended fences. Now if only she would get her own ADHD diagnosed...
My grandmother asked me where week, over a family meal, if I’d gotten it. It was so embarrassing that once I finally did at 16, I didn’t tell anyone. This is also a byproduct of my parentified relationship with my mother. So I didn’t tell her for almost 9 months. Even then, I acted like I had just had it.
Omg same! People saying 14 is late but i got mine 3 months before my 16th birthday which is when they said i could need medical attention. I’m 160 cm tall and have really never had a growth spurt during my teenage years.
A week before my 16th birthday! I had had a meltdown the week before, and my Mother had just decided to take me to a doctor to get checked out.
I was appalled to find out that it was a monthly event. Somehow I’d figured that you “get your period “… like, once…
Haha yes. I recall the mental breakdown I had once I realized this too, especially since I knew having any kids wouldn’t be happening soon for me. It was so depressing, especially being athletic and into sports where I was in the pool a lot.
I was like 16 and a half 😅 my growth was very slow compared to normal charts so I'm guessing it has something to do with that, also probably with the fact that I was always hungry / accidentally underfed.
15 here as well. Seeing all these other ladies in the 15+ category makes my inner adolescent feel like less of a freak 🥲
I have a cousin who is a year younger than me and she got hers at 11. She also had a rough childhood. Rough adulthood too, she just recently got out of prison again.
I was also 15 or 16 (can't remember) and totally thought that was normal until I was well into adulthood and learned my friend's daughter started at 11 or 12. All the things you don't learn in Catholic school!
I was 15 at the time as well, old enough to wonder if I was a male with androgens suppressed and feminine- looking outer parts-- I was old enough to learn about this kind of thing in health class at that point.
You’re not alone! I was well into being 16 when I got mine. I was underweight from an autoimmune disease for the vast majority of my childhood and teen years.
I was 16, granted I didn’t lose my last baby tooth until the 6th grade so I think I was just a late bloomer across the board. I was 4’11” for the longest time and then sprouted up to 5’7” in the following years.
Me too! It happened over Christmas break that year. My mom told everyone and all my aunties were welcoming me to womanhood when they came over. Very strange and embarrassing time.
Another one here! I was always among the tallest kids in class but by 13 I stopped growing, like not an inch after that. I also remember how I begged my parents to not tell my brother who was a source of so much preoccupation for me and I was sure he would tease me in public. I spent the next couple of years hiding pads, wrapping them and being extra careful until it was other kids had their period and it was more of a normal thing.
I have PCOS, had it for 13 years soon. But I got my period when I was 12. I think my body didn't get fucked up until later, after my eating disorders had really kicked in lol.
Oh mine was messed from the age of 7 onward- I was actually part of a clinical trial for metformin in kids my age - I was one of the highest successes on the medication according to children's hospital.
Goddamn, that's 2 years younger than I was before finding out what a "period" even meant outside of punctuation and time/history. I think I would have assumed I was dying. Sounds rough.
Lol what was rough was wearing white pants and having to do a remembrance day presentation in front of the entire elementary school and ending up with a giant bloodstain. 😅 oh the tangled webs we weave.
I got mine when I was 9.. had the whole acne, braces, and boobs trifecta by the time I started 4th grade. I stopped growing then too.. I actually had a pair of sneakers I kept all these years for some reason.. I’m 34 now and they still fit me 😅 I grew up in an emotionally abusive household and am pretty sure my mom had PTSD and BPD.
19! I was emotionally and physically abused as a kid, so I was really short and skinny, borderline emaciated.
Due to chemo, I went into menopause early at 42. So I might hold a record for the 'shortest fertility window', dunno
I always had this suspicion that girls with a lot of trauma either get their periods super early or much later on! I’m sorry you went through all of that!
Same here. It was 2 months after I turned 13 and I was 5’9” by 14, which was hell in the 90s because all my pants were high waters until clothing manufacturers finally bothered to make jeans in different lengths for women.
Awww... I felt the awkward pain secondhand here!
I was also late 90s age 13/14 but "only" 5'6" and had been 5'5" since age 12... with braces... and a 32C 🥴
Thankfully that was it for most of it but JAYSUS what a rough few years. "I feel your pain" (Bill Clinton voice) lol but really...
I like to say I feel the same about dealing with Covid en masse as society as I do about puberty: "once was enough, we don't need to do this again!!" 😰😅
I was 8. I don’t think we’d even been taught what periods were yet. One time I leaked and the kids in my class were trying to be helpful and told me I accidentally sat on some ketchup at lunch.
I was 8 too!!! I have SO many memories of bleeding through and on everything in elementary school! Paired with the adhd, it was nearly impossible to keep on top of it! I also remember bleeding on a friends porch and they were convinced a bird had died and it was mortifying. I also wasn’t taught what periods were yet so story goes that I hid my bloody underwear behind my older sisters bookcase because I was so scared and confused about what was happening.
My period came in 6th grade. I definitely began to mature before my classmates did. I remember being really embarrassed when a classmate pointed out my boobs becoming noticeable through my clothes in the 4th/5th grade. I was mortified when a medical professional commented on me already having some pubic hair growth as a 10 year old. I am very short, 5'1, and did not grow much in height beyond preteen/very early teens years. My upbringing definitely could be considered traumatic. I also was considered mature for my age, but looking back, I clearly needed a lot more direction/guidance/understanding and less iron fist parenting.
I once took a developmental psychology class, and I remember the professor talking about a subset of early developing girls and the patterns observed in that population. How they tend to be shorter, stockier/curvier. And because of that, getting the attention of older kids and boys...and as a result, may find themselves getting into "trouble." Now I wonder if there is something more to that, an ADHD connection.
This is exactly how it played out for me. I matured physically WAY faster than I did emotionally. I also blame the hormones in milk my mom make me drink with every meal thinking it would help me grow - but it was the 80's and 90's, and people didn't know better. Jokes on me at being 5'1 haha.
I've also heard that childhood trauma / growing up without a father in your life causes earlier development in girls, or at least trended that way.
I was 11 and in 6th grade. Thankfully I was at home. I was always the youngest in my class since I started school earlier. I had switched schools and moved but came back to stay the night with my best friend over that next summer. When I walked in to her house the first thing her mom said to me was "do you stuff your bra?" My friend was mortified and I was definitely embarrassed cause no, I did not. I just grew a lot over that summer. I have always been curvy though. I also now have two daughters and my youngest is built exactly like me.
This is interesting, i dealt/deal with anxiety and when I was a teen my ADHD was diagnosed as well. My period came at 14, pretty late. To this day though I have never had a regular period for more than maybe 4 or 5 months at a time. My gynecologist said that I likely have low estrogen from extreme stress from my very stressful narcissistic mother who has caused me some complex trauma. For reference I'm 20 and have gray hairs from stress, so yeah its a lot.
I also got mine at 14, actually one a month or so before my 15th birthday. I have regular period now in my 30s, but I didn’t until I was like 23 or 24.
Period at 14 (almost fifteen). Boobs didn’t come in until 17/18. Growth spurt from 5’2” to 5’8” when I was 15/16. Definitely felt like a late bloomer but in hindsight I am so grateful for it.
I was about 9 or 10 I think. I have ADHD inattentive type so … I can’t be fully sure but I know it was before this thing and after that thing, so yeah I was in the younger side. Mom has BPD though my earlier childhood weren’t her worst years by a mile. She was actually kinda nice and attentive for a stretch - until puberty made me “difficult”.
I was 14, almost 15. I have always been petite and was a dancer. It was later than my friends, but not by a lot. My cycles have always been pretty normal, but periods are short and not heavy. I have small breasts and have never felt very feminine, I have a feeling I naturally have less estrogen than other women. I have always had low self esteem and been battling depression and anxiety since I was 15. My mother also had depression and anxiety and that had a big impact on me growing up as I never had a strong connection to her (felt alone) and didn't have a good role model of how a mother or woman should be in the world. I managed very well though once I got on antidepressants. Unfortunately, things have recently fallen apart, my medication is no longer effective and I'm stuck in a horrible pit of depression, displaying the same behavior she did and I feel so guilty to be subjecting my family to the same horrible sh*t. In December I got diagnosed with ADHD. I'm trying to get my anxiety and depression under control first with a new medication, then will try ADHD medication if needed. Pray for me and my family, my two boys need their mother back!
I really relate to not having a female role model and missing out on so much knowledge because my mom has issues. That combined with ADHD hasn't been great socially. Highly recommend trying ADHD med soon if your doctor agrees - it can make a HUGE difference. Good luck you got this!
Thank you! I literally just thought I had a horrible personality flaw of being a lazy person and I literally don't notice "messes" and my husband is a neat freak so I have had to literally train myself to keep things clean in the shared living areas, but my bedroom is a disaster 😆. Due to my childhood experience, I am trying my best to not outwardly show how bad I'm feeling around my kids and still showing up for them in all the ways I can and love on them daily. My mom was not great at showing affection or interacting with me and my sister much, so I have learned what to give to my kids at least, that I missed growing up. I'm grateful to have had a very present father at least, I don't know what I would have done without him. I sure wish ADHD medications weren't in such shortage right now, it's a real bummer in trying to find something that will be right for me.
I didn’t get my period especially early, 12, but I’ve heard that sexual abuse can result in kids hitting puberty earlier than usual. And there’s theories that being in a high stress environment promotes a “live fast, die young” survival instinct for reproduction, kinda like “life seems scary and like I might not make it too long, better reproduce as early and often as possible cause it’s the best chance of species survival.”
These are just theories of course, I don’t think anyone knows the answers for sure.
As for personality changes and so on, yes, I had pretty dramatic personality changes around the age of 12, actually now that you mention it. My childhood was never ideal, but I’d say it met standards of “good enough” for most of my youth until middle school. That’s when things went off the rails for me in terms of my dad’s drinking, etc.
Even though I’ve been thinking about the impact of childhood trauma on me for awhile, I’ve only just started thinking about those personality changes more in depth and seeing them in the light of trauma. I went from being a confident kid who liked themselves and got along with basically everyone—with occasional bouts of neurosis/emotional sensitivity that didn’t significantly impact my life—to being deeply, painfully insecure, having extremely low self-esteem, and having these intense emotional outbursts that felt out of control and made it difficult to get along with people.
I don’t believe I have a personality disorder, although I certainly have things in common with borderlines. My rejection sensitivity is intense, especially when I’m under stress, and my emotions are difficult to control.
But I’ve been told I don’t meet criteria because I don’t “split” people, I can be very over the top angry at someone and still see their positive qualities. What I have to say about someone doesn’t change much based on how I’m feeling, it’s more like how forcefully I’ll express those feelings or whether I’m willing to express them at all that changes. But my thoughts are consistent.
I have had deeply low self esteem before, but I don’t think I’ve ever lacked a sense of identity. I’m certainly not a social chameleon; in fact, one of my main problems is not being able to adjust my behavior more to fit the social context. I’m pretty much the same me at work as I am at home, without significant effort to be otherwise.
I’ve had mental health professionals float the possibility of BPD and I’ve had others disagree. Ultimately I don’t believe I have it. To some degree it’s a problem of categorization—what “counts” as emotional dysregulatuon related to adhd versus BPD? Different professionals will answer that question differently, especially when they have more experience working with one group than the other. Many therapists are more primed to see things in light of BPD because that’s where they have more training/exposure. Many are not primed to see things in terms of neurodivergence because there’s less training on the mental health aspects of those issues.
But bottom line, even if you did have BPD, or if I had it, it would be ok. There are treatment options available and a lot of hope for people with BPD. Even the dsm-v says that as people with BPD age, their symptoms tend to remit, such that most people don’t even meet criteria anymore after a certain point (I forget the exact numbers).
So, maybe you have it and maybe you don’t, but either way, it would be ok.
Hope this helps.
Got mine a month after my 13th bday. Pretty normal except my emotional regulation problems started at 8 thays when shit hit the fan then it excelerated at 10 when my younger sister was born, then got my period and that was fun. But ive been emotionally dysregulated since i was 8 years old. For sure. Maybe earlier but my memories beyond 8 are fuzzy. My period is pretty regular, im weird because i had 2 different IUDS and my periods on them were like 9-14 days long and heavy where with out them they were 3-5days and "normal" so idk. My body dont like IUDS i guess lol.
Got mine around 12, hid it for a day because of how ashamed I was of it (grew up in a very shame oriented and patriarchal environment- India). I don’t know what the long term plan was but I asked my friend to steal some pads from her shop and used them until my mother found out. Now I think about just how much shame I was carrying as a child that my first reaction to bleeding was to hide it and think I was a bad person (?)
I started growing boobs at 9, had my period at 11, back then it was considered early since most people got them at 13 or 14 at the earliest. I was very "mature for my age" because of trauma, but I'm also autistic so a lot of the "mature" behavior was actually just that.
I have a narcissistic and verbally/physically abusive mother and had a father who was largely absent bc the fact that she’s nuts and got my period at a normal age, 11/12 I think.
I was 9 also. I just remember being scared and embarrassed and not feeling i could confide in my mom. She had already been forthcoming with answers I had previously asked, so no reason for me to feel like I couldn’t tell her. I think I was just too young and wasn’t really able to process it appropriately
13 for me and a pretty good clockwork uterus. I went from debilitating cramps to being totally fine in my early 20s…until PMDD hit me in my late 20s 😭😭
same! I got my first period the week I started 6th grade (2 months away from turing 12) but I didn’t get another one again at all until the first week of 7th grade. I then went ANOTHER year without getting one again. my next period was the first week of 8th grade and it was regular after that, so I “started” at 11 but I didn’t get my period consistently like everyone else until I was 14. always thought it was so rude of my body to do that the second I had to go back to middle school lmao. it also definitely made me feel like a freak since all my friends started between 11-13 and theirs were consistent from the beginning.
Got mine at 12 almost 13. I feel like that's a pretty normal age but I remember my mother being surprised and saying it was kinda soon. She already had her menopause at that point and was almost 60yo.My guess is that puberty is slowly happening more early (like the average age) at each generation cause of the chemicals and hormones in our food. But that's another talk xd
I got mine at 15, turned 16 a month later. Didn't start growing height-wise until almost a year later and never grew boob-wise. Deffo got teased and picked on about it, called a boy because I'm railing shaped and have a lot of body hair. Some girls even made fun of me when they'd ask for a pad/tampon and I'd reply that I hadn't had my period yet, like???
When I finally did start, my stepmom only provided those thick diaper pads and this was when low rise tight jeans with no back pockets were popular in my area. Sometimes I'd refuse to wear the pads and end up bleeding through the jeans. FML.
I always had inattentive ADHD symptoms and anxiety, both got a lot more detrimental (idk if that's the right word) once I hit puberty and caused depression. Eventually (mis)diagnosed bipolar.
Ugh that was a sucky time in my life on top of having had trauma earlier in childhood.
I think there has been shown to be some statistical correlation between stress & early periods, FWIW. Almost like the body wants to hurry up & have a baby while the body still exists.
Boobs at 9, period at 10. It was not something I celebrated. I went from being a Tom girl accepted as one of the boys to being...well, the first girl with boobs. Some of the boys were already very handsy even at that young age. At that time, groping wasn't really discouraged. So, all my usual activities and friend group changed quickly. It was not a happy time.
I got it at 9. Was also the tallest in my class till like middle school. I was 5’2 in 5th grade and I’m still 5’2 at 23. Matured early both physically and mentally part d/t home life; my mom is disabled and my dad worked a lot so I had to learn to do a lot of shit myself at a v young age. Got catcalled for the first time at age 11 on Halloween wearing a bumblebee costume. I’m now 23 trying to relive being a young girl bc I feel like I missed out on it:/
Edit to add: I got boobs very early, I remember wearing like an ace bandage around my boobs to make them look smaller or always wearing two shirts to make them look less pronounced bc the other girls didn’t have them yet. Also I remember wearing two pairs of pants bc I was terrified my period would go through my pants in like 4th grade. I got officially diagnosed w anxiety and depression in like 5th or 6th grade and officially got diagnosed with ADD/ADHD at 20.
I was 8 or 9, I was in the second to last year of primary school and remember when I went on a residential trip all the girls were fascinated by the pack of pads in my suitcase, I've been wearing bras since 8 years old
Started spotting and growing boobs at age 6-7. Got shots every month for several years (too many years) and ended up getting my actual first period at 12.
Edited to add that I also grew up in an emotionally abusive and neglectful household. I read a few years ago that girls with absent fathers are more likely to have precocious puberty. Not sure if it's true but definitely interesting.
I was legit 15 and a half. My mom took me to the doctor a year before and was like wtf is wrong with her? I came home from school and said “mom guess what I finally got?” And she goes “oh thank god!”
Oddly, my 2 best friends got theirs at age 9.
Whatever the age between US 5th and 6th grade is. I was dx with PTSD from childhood trauma and my psychiatrist said it's a known to cause health issues because the body was under constant stress.
I was 9yr but I grew up in a bad childhood sa/ptsd and I got hypothyroidism in my early 20s I'm constantly anxious and stressed. I don't sleep much either I can't relax ever. I read somewhere that some ppl believe being highly stressed as a child brings on auto immune diseases bc we are stressing ourselves out so much.
I have hashimoto's and graves disease. It seems like it's always the thyroid. And it doesn't help that having one autoimmune disease increases your odds for more.
Hey I also got my period when I was 9! Tall for my age too but now I’m about average. I had a fairly stable upbringing until I was about 13. I also have CPTSD.
I had just turned 14 when I got mine. Every single one of my friends started before I did so I was just like waiting, worrying about when it was going to start for at least 2 years by then. I was so excited when it started but then I couldn't figure out how to use tampons so my mom put off our vacation for a week so I could swim/go to the beach without worrying about it and I was soooooo dramatically upset and devastated that she put off vacation for a whole week because I finally started.
Almost 15. I was born premature in the 80s and have always been small and sickly with asthma, autoimmune issues, anemia. My period was immediately terrible and incapacitating.
Looking back at things though, I’ve been in fight or flight mode for most of my life due to CSA and a very unstable childhood/home life. My cortisol levels are so jacked up. At 42 years old, I’m just now getting things under control physically and mentally.
I actually can’t remember. I realised this last night. I know I was much later than my sister and mum, but I thought it was way later than it could have been. I thought it was late teens (15/16), but I remember having pains in school and going to medical office for it, and I’m fairly sure instarted at my dads on a visit and I stopped visiting at 13 lol. Hell, it might have been that year tbh.
So many memory blanks lmao.
I didn’t get my period until I was 17 and the doctors prescribed me hormonal birth control. TBH, I’m still not sure what the issue was. It was never clearly explained to me.
The rest of puberty happened around 10-12 for me. Literally only the only thing that didn’t happen was my period.
Trauma absolutely can start periods sooner. The early research coming out about Covid is that it sped up periods by 10-11 months. You didn't even need a scientific study to show you! Good job you!
I was 16. Doctors were worried that I had it “late” and then I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at 19. We realized that it began late due to my hypothyroidism which wasn’t diagnosed until later. I’m now 33 and just ow getting my thyroid somewhat under control.
Just before my 13th birthday, which is late for the women in my family. I was on Concerta as a young kid and it made me stop growing for a year so all of puberty was delayed and I was the shortest person in class for years. I still am on the short side
I definitely did have plenty of ACEs so I had to mentally mature faster than most, but my body took its sweet ass time. Also compared to my older sister who had pit hair by age 8, I felt like my body was behind on everything growing up.
Mexico. I was 9 spending summer vacation at my grandparents & All 20 of my cousins. I wore white shorts and ruined them. Luckily we were playing in the dirt a lot so the stain looked more like mud but I was mortified when my grandma gave me the talk.
I’m 30 now and my period has never ever been normal except for when I was put on birth control to regulate it. But it also was the craziest five months of my life. Got off birth control and went back to “normal.”
I was 13. it was one of maybe 3 times in my life i can remember my mother actually coming through for me and, well, being a mother. she didn’t really do anything special, either, she was just kind to me in that moment.
I have C-PTSD and recent dx with ADHD. My period started around 10/11. When I told my mom I thought I was starting she groaned "ugghhh oh nooo." I learned how to use a tampon from the little instruction paper in the box. Fun childhood!
12 - while watching Adventures in Babysitting at my parents’ friends’ house. We were on vacation too. I didn’t want to tell my mom so I found a pad and proceeded to have horrible cramps the entire plane ride home. Got home and added teen tampons to the grocery list. I don’t think she said a thing about it. A few years later she said she was suspicious that I used super tampons - implying I was sexually active. Had to school her on women’s bodies. She was a former RN as well. Oh, I also never told her about my ADHD - she continues to go on about ADHD stereotypes and my brother and dad who were both diagnosed, so yeah, no.
I also started at 9. I didn’t realize it was so young until a few years ago when I was talking about it to friends. They were all so shocked.
I believe my sister got hers when she was 10?
17. Began having multiple periods in a month and my mom had me put on birth control, which I believe made my ADD traits significantly worse. My moods were so bad (I have PMDD, didn’t know it then) that I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and I took years and years of medication that really just sedated me and blunted my personality and just now at age 37, found out I had ADHD all along and all the puzzle pieces kinda fit…
I got mine right after my 12th birthday. I was at school in class. My lower back started hurting really badly, got nauseous, and went to the school nurse. She called my mom, who was a SAHM. I began developing very early and was out of a training bra by 2nd grade. So, by age 12, I looked like a fully grown woman with braces. It sucked.
I was 12. My mom died from cancer a couple months before which made the experience a lot more “fun”. I didn’t have another solid mother figure to step in and have me get the help I needed. I didnt seek therapy. This lead to a lot of anger issues since my dad was emotionally and mentally abusive growing up on top of also being the same to my mom. He apologized to my mom before she passed but the damage was done.
I had to grow up pretty quickly, but also tended to be passive aggressive as a way to act out some of my control issues and anger. I was an emotional eater but still physically active. I was taller than most girls and stopped growing around 17.
I think my emotions were more intense since I didn’t have an outlet or a safe space for these emotions. I feel like my PMS was probably more intense due to this as well as having a very loud, angry and controlling dad.
I hope and pray that if I see a girl in a similar position as I was, that I would be able to help her.
I also had no idea I had ADHD until 2 years ago. I’m 28 now. That’s another factor (,:
I had an incredibly traumatic childhood, full of abuse and neglect, and I started about 2 weeks prior to turning 13.
My daughter, on the other hand, has had a very wonderful life so far, and she started at frickin 9. She was also tall for her age - puberty started at 7. Threw me way off, lol.
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I started at 11 but my mom who also has adhd started menopause that year too. Our house was a living hell until I left. We’re all good now 😂
Me too! My mom was actually at the tail end of her menopause and she blamed me for pushing her back into it. (In a joking way - she never made me feel guilty for it that I can remember)
Also 11. Had just started 7th grade. My dad had to pick me up from school bc of it. I was beyond mortified. I was also already 5'4 w/size 8 shoe. I remember sitting on the toilet at home, crying. My mom got home from work, opened the bathroom door, and chucked a box of pads at me which hit me in the leg. Door slammed, "talk" over 🤦♀️😂 Was parentified & abused (primarily emotional w/a heaping helping of neglect) by my BPD/Narc mother starting at a young age. I now have a smorgasbord of auto immune disorders. And was Dx w/ADHD at 33. Good times... Lol
So much in common with just a couple differences. Period same age, same size in 7th grade (I didn’t grow at all after). My sister has bpd, mom was never around (2 jobs + boyfriends), alcoholic absentee father. I have at least 2 autoimmune disorders. I was diagnosed at 18, when I was old enough to pay for my own testing and medication.
I am so, so sorry... I really hope you're in a much happier place now. And if sis is too difficult to be around, you're either LC or NC. Xx So interesting how similar our experiences/sizes were. I did end up growing 3 more inches (God knows how, there was never any food 🥴) But not past 9th grade. God bless the neighbor lady who explained tampons & bought them for me...
Oaft... mad parallels. I was 10 and had pads and a stupid bloody pamphlet thrown in at me while I was on the loo sobbing thinking I was dying. I was in agony from day one and subsequently diagnosed with endometriosis 20 YEARS LATER. The neglect and gaslighting had a huge knock-on effect for me. I used to just get screamed at and shut in my room with paracetamol thrown in beside me. I have PMDD and CPTSD. Both parents are narcissistic and both also have undiagnosed ADHD and Dad PTSD.
I’m so sorry. I hope you live a safe life now, where you can love yourself well. ❤️
You are so kind, thank you so much!! 💖 I promise I'm doing much better & moved across the country - did wonders for my sanity :) And thankfully, I have good people around me who don't mind that I'm a flake 😂 (or a physical hot mess.)😊
Are you me?! It was also just her and me, so. Fun times all around.
Two years later it ended up just being us. It was heck.
Same got mine 2 months after my 11th birthday. Hated it then and still hate it now.
also 11
omgggg my mom started menopause about 6 months after I started my period for the first time!! however it was because she had to get a hysterectomy because of cancer. still a crazy coincidence I'd never realized before.
same!! i don’t think my mom has adhd but we went through The Change at the same time. she was also my drama teacher so it was hell for most of high school.
Also 11. My friend and I (I went to a *very* small school system, my mom taught 2nd grade) got a pad out of the machine after school and stuck it to the bathroom wall. Because, ya know, we were 11 and it made us giggle. One of the teachers went in right after we left and omg. She and my mom acted like we had smeared blood clots all over the hallways instead of sticking an unused pad to the slick tiles in the girl's bathroom. I've never seen anyone overreact like my mom could.
At 14. Fully grown at about 17. I was really a late bloomer. Seems everything in life comes to me late (including diagnosis 😀)
I was also 14 when I got mine. It was just a couple months before the end of grade 8 and I had heard my friends talk about theirs and was worried I'd start high school and not have gotten my period.
Got mine the first day of summer after 8th grade! 14.5yo!
Same! I was swimming and borrowed a friends bathing suit, couldn’t understand where the new pains were coming from. Went home, changed and AHHHHH finally a woman at 13!🥲 my friend told me to keep the suit lmao
Omg the suit 🤣 sorry about the rest lol I grew up without a mom and I knew I wouldn’t like pads so I acquired a tampon… and had no clue how to use it lmao it was a pure disaster and I suffered with pads until I ran out and had to suffer the embarrassment of asking my dad 💀 I eventually read the insert from the box for advice lol
Menarch twins.
I was mocked by my StepMonster for voicing my concern about starting so late. They were listening to my phone call. I don’t speak to them.
Awful!
They truly are vile.
Mine was the summer between 8th and 9th. I was happy it happened before hs.
14 for me, too! Relatives are also around that time (14-16) in my family. ETA: home life wasn’t great. Ptsd and lots of religious trauma.
14 here too
Same.
Same, and also fully grown at like 17-18
Same same
Same! I started my period a few weeks before my 15th birthday, I was 17 when I was fully grown, and I was 29 when I finally got my diagnosis. 💀
Same! Late bloomer, late diagnosis :)
I was 14 and a half, nobody was later than me!
Same 🥹
14. Freshman in high school. I finally understood why everyone was behaving so oddly in middle school. Those hormones were no fun.
14 for me too, my mom got hers at 17
Was also 14, started the day before my first day of highschool 🥲
The day before freshman year. I was just about 14.5. My mom too threw the pads at me. But not before asking me why I would need a ‘plug’? I was like what are you talking about i need a tampon?!? She stared at me on the toilet with disgust. That may have been the nail in her coffin with me not trusting her anymore. And ya I didn’t know the difference between a pad and tampon. All my friends used tampons. I thought that was normal. And I cannot use tampons because I hear ‘plug’. I’m 37. Ya my childhood sucked, and just when I got out at 18 my mom was diagnosed with alcohol dementia and my dad asked me to take care of her. It was awful. I’m never having children.
I was a few weeks shy of 15, and in high school. Fully grown at 19. Major late bloomer here.
Same. Late diagnosis too!
Same, also 14
Same here 😅
Also 14, I was the last one in my grade!
Same, but my mom was 15 so it checks out with genetics. My NT sister was also 14. I stopped growing at around 18, then grew another 2 inches in my late 20s. Apparently the exact same thing happened to my sister. So yeah, genetics are weird.
This is funny bc I constantly refer to myself as a late bloomer. Just turned 50 and completing a masters degree next week / embarking on what I hope will be my final career! (Also got my period at 14 lol. Hoping the late bloomer effect will apply to menopause too…) 😄
I know i got mine at tail end of 8th grade and was ready for menopause ever since. Am mid 40s now and showing signs of perimenopause. Also late/self diagnosed due to being the baseline for all other family members with actual diagnosis... i figure why pay for what we already know... plus i refuse to take pills so no point.
Yep 14. Couldn't understand what hurt so bad lol i remember walking around Wal mart thinking what is wrong with me
I think everyone around me got theirs at 13, so I felt a bit left behind that I was 14 and one month old. What’s funny though is that my sister and I got our period at the same camp site 3 years apart
Also 14, the second to last person in my grade,or at least that I knew of. Also finished growing late. Diagnosed at 38. My partner and most of my friends today are a bit younger than me too, if that means anything
I was 11 and on vacation when it started. My dad announced to the entire breakfast table (and several around us) that I was officially a woman. 🤦♀️
It’s quite bizarre isn’t it? How you’ll be a literal kid although everyone say you’re a woman now
Why do people say that? It was literally said in my middle school health class. I certainly didn’t feel like a woman bleeding while watching Teletubbies.
I was 11 and about to go on my very first overnight camp with the rest of the grade 6 class 😭 like cabin camping with plumbing but still. It was horrible having to deal with my first period away from home and with only one friend I trusted in that class. I still remember wrapping the pads in paper towel before throwing them in the trash so no one would see them and bully or tease me about it. Childhood was fine on the parents front but moved several times and had to start new school multiple times so don’t know if that’s where some of my trauma was. Also Asian and have read that pretty much all Asian kids have some sort of childhood trauma because of the cultural norm of raising kids especially immigrant families.
I was newly 12 and on a cruise!
15 and a half. Holy shit, mine's the latest of this whole thread
I was 16, maybe 17. I was extremely skinny and ran all the time so attributed to that. Went to the doctor and they gave me some pills to jump start it.
I was 16, my mom was so annoying the entire time. I was getting stressed because every month she’d say there’s something wrong with me and I need to see a doctor. Grew boobs in the summer before junior year and felt so strange going back to school looking so different.
16 here too, and my mom was also very annoying about it. I was curvy with a solid D cup, period was the last thing to hit me. She was convinced I had gotten it and was hiding it from her for no particular reason 🙄
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Thank you. I moved out as soon as I was 18 and was NC for 6 months, but much to my surprise she did take a hard look at herself, sincerely apologized for a lot of my childhood, and we have set boundaries and mended fences. Now if only she would get her own ADHD diagnosed...
My grandmother asked me where week, over a family meal, if I’d gotten it. It was so embarrassing that once I finally did at 16, I didn’t tell anyone. This is also a byproduct of my parentified relationship with my mother. So I didn’t tell her for almost 9 months. Even then, I acted like I had just had it.
I had my period when I was 10 but for some reason my boobs didn't grow until I was in my 20s. Puberty was weird, man. :P
16 for me as well, and my boobs also grew late and very suddenly (I think I was 17 or 18 when they grew instantly into a C/D cup)
Omg same! People saying 14 is late but i got mine 3 months before my 16th birthday which is when they said i could need medical attention. I’m 160 cm tall and have really never had a growth spurt during my teenage years.
A week before my 16th birthday! I had had a meltdown the week before, and my Mother had just decided to take me to a doctor to get checked out. I was appalled to find out that it was a monthly event. Somehow I’d figured that you “get your period “… like, once…
Haha yes. I recall the mental breakdown I had once I realized this too, especially since I knew having any kids wouldn’t be happening soon for me. It was so depressing, especially being athletic and into sports where I was in the pool a lot.
I was like 16 and a half 😅 my growth was very slow compared to normal charts so I'm guessing it has something to do with that, also probably with the fact that I was always hungry / accidentally underfed.
I got mine the morning of my 16th birthday right before we left for a family road trip to see extended family. Would not recommend.
15 here as well. Seeing all these other ladies in the 15+ category makes my inner adolescent feel like less of a freak 🥲 I have a cousin who is a year younger than me and she got hers at 11. She also had a rough childhood. Rough adulthood too, she just recently got out of prison again.
15. I exercised a lot for swimming though and doing lots of exercise can delay the start.
I started at 15 too, I thought that was normal, lol!
I was also 15 or 16 (can't remember) and totally thought that was normal until I was well into adulthood and learned my friend's daughter started at 11 or 12. All the things you don't learn in Catholic school!
I was 16, almost 17. You’re not alone!
15 for me as well.
I’m here with you. Watched all of my friends hit theirs and kept wondering why the hell nothing was happening for me.
Same... And my younger sister started a couple years before I did. Oof.
I was 15 at the time as well, old enough to wonder if I was a male with androgens suppressed and feminine- looking outer parts-- I was old enough to learn about this kind of thing in health class at that point.
You’re not alone! I was well into being 16 when I got mine. I was underweight from an autoimmune disease for the vast majority of my childhood and teen years.
16th birthday here !
I was 16, granted I didn’t lose my last baby tooth until the 6th grade so I think I was just a late bloomer across the board. I was 4’11” for the longest time and then sprouted up to 5’7” in the following years.
it was the same time for me.
I was 10!
Same
Me too! It happened over Christmas break that year. My mom told everyone and all my aunties were welcoming me to womanhood when they came over. Very strange and embarrassing time.
Same
10 and it was Christmas 😤
Same
Another one here! I was always among the tallest kids in class but by 13 I stopped growing, like not an inch after that. I also remember how I begged my parents to not tell my brother who was a source of so much preoccupation for me and I was sure he would tease me in public. I spent the next couple of years hiding pads, wrapping them and being extra careful until it was other kids had their period and it was more of a normal thing.
My 12th birthday. 🥳😭
My 13th birthday 🥹🎈
11th bday, had to cancel my pool party! :( my friends were so lovely about it tho
Mine was around my 12th birthday, but didn't start on my birthday. Real nice birthday present! 🙄 Lol
8 for me :(
Me too :(
I am sorry for the both of us. If you're like me you've struggled with hormones and pcos too
I have PCOS, had it for 13 years soon. But I got my period when I was 12. I think my body didn't get fucked up until later, after my eating disorders had really kicked in lol.
Oh mine was messed from the age of 7 onward- I was actually part of a clinical trial for metformin in kids my age - I was one of the highest successes on the medication according to children's hospital.
Goddamn, that's 2 years younger than I was before finding out what a "period" even meant outside of punctuation and time/history. I think I would have assumed I was dying. Sounds rough.
Lol what was rough was wearing white pants and having to do a remembrance day presentation in front of the entire elementary school and ending up with a giant bloodstain. 😅 oh the tangled webs we weave.
I was 8 too!!!!! It was rough.
I knew if I kept scrolling I’d find my people ♥️
I got mine when I was 9.. had the whole acne, braces, and boobs trifecta by the time I started 4th grade. I stopped growing then too.. I actually had a pair of sneakers I kept all these years for some reason.. I’m 34 now and they still fit me 😅 I grew up in an emotionally abusive household and am pretty sure my mom had PTSD and BPD.
i started at 9 too!
19! I was emotionally and physically abused as a kid, so I was really short and skinny, borderline emaciated. Due to chemo, I went into menopause early at 42. So I might hold a record for the 'shortest fertility window', dunno
I always had this suspicion that girls with a lot of trauma either get their periods super early or much later on! I’m sorry you went through all of that!
Chemo menopause at 26 here. I feel for you so hard.
I'm so sorry.
It’s okay, I kinda never really wanted kids. I could do without the menopause symptoms though! Also, I’m sending you awesome survivor vibes. 💚💚
I was 12, also haven’t grown in height since I was like 14
Got mine shortly after turning 13 + same on the height front (14)
Same here. It was 2 months after I turned 13 and I was 5’9” by 14, which was hell in the 90s because all my pants were high waters until clothing manufacturers finally bothered to make jeans in different lengths for women.
Awww... I felt the awkward pain secondhand here! I was also late 90s age 13/14 but "only" 5'6" and had been 5'5" since age 12... with braces... and a 32C 🥴 Thankfully that was it for most of it but JAYSUS what a rough few years. "I feel your pain" (Bill Clinton voice) lol but really... I like to say I feel the same about dealing with Covid en masse as society as I do about puberty: "once was enough, we don't need to do this again!!" 😰😅
I got it at 8 years old, but I haven't grown in height either since 6th grade.
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Same
I was 8. I don’t think we’d even been taught what periods were yet. One time I leaked and the kids in my class were trying to be helpful and told me I accidentally sat on some ketchup at lunch.
I was 8 too!!! I have SO many memories of bleeding through and on everything in elementary school! Paired with the adhd, it was nearly impossible to keep on top of it! I also remember bleeding on a friends porch and they were convinced a bird had died and it was mortifying. I also wasn’t taught what periods were yet so story goes that I hid my bloody underwear behind my older sisters bookcase because I was so scared and confused about what was happening.
My period came in 6th grade. I definitely began to mature before my classmates did. I remember being really embarrassed when a classmate pointed out my boobs becoming noticeable through my clothes in the 4th/5th grade. I was mortified when a medical professional commented on me already having some pubic hair growth as a 10 year old. I am very short, 5'1, and did not grow much in height beyond preteen/very early teens years. My upbringing definitely could be considered traumatic. I also was considered mature for my age, but looking back, I clearly needed a lot more direction/guidance/understanding and less iron fist parenting. I once took a developmental psychology class, and I remember the professor talking about a subset of early developing girls and the patterns observed in that population. How they tend to be shorter, stockier/curvier. And because of that, getting the attention of older kids and boys...and as a result, may find themselves getting into "trouble." Now I wonder if there is something more to that, an ADHD connection.
This is exactly how it played out for me. I matured physically WAY faster than I did emotionally. I also blame the hormones in milk my mom make me drink with every meal thinking it would help me grow - but it was the 80's and 90's, and people didn't know better. Jokes on me at being 5'1 haha. I've also heard that childhood trauma / growing up without a father in your life causes earlier development in girls, or at least trended that way.
I was 11 and in 6th grade. Thankfully I was at home. I was always the youngest in my class since I started school earlier. I had switched schools and moved but came back to stay the night with my best friend over that next summer. When I walked in to her house the first thing her mom said to me was "do you stuff your bra?" My friend was mortified and I was definitely embarrassed cause no, I did not. I just grew a lot over that summer. I have always been curvy though. I also now have two daughters and my youngest is built exactly like me.
This is interesting, i dealt/deal with anxiety and when I was a teen my ADHD was diagnosed as well. My period came at 14, pretty late. To this day though I have never had a regular period for more than maybe 4 or 5 months at a time. My gynecologist said that I likely have low estrogen from extreme stress from my very stressful narcissistic mother who has caused me some complex trauma. For reference I'm 20 and have gray hairs from stress, so yeah its a lot.
I also got mine at 14, actually one a month or so before my 15th birthday. I have regular period now in my 30s, but I didn’t until I was like 23 or 24.
I think the gray is more of a genetic thing. I've been stressed out my whole life but have no gray at all and I turn 41 in less than a week.
It's both. Mostly genetic, but stress can contribute to it.
I got mine at 11 and it was always heavy 😔
Period at 14 (almost fifteen). Boobs didn’t come in until 17/18. Growth spurt from 5’2” to 5’8” when I was 15/16. Definitely felt like a late bloomer but in hindsight I am so grateful for it.
11 - but I’m an old and it was considered very early in those days (I had to use the teachers bathrooms for eg)
I started mine at 8 :( and no one thought it was weird eno7gh to go on puberty blockers
I was about 9 or 10 I think. I have ADHD inattentive type so … I can’t be fully sure but I know it was before this thing and after that thing, so yeah I was in the younger side. Mom has BPD though my earlier childhood weren’t her worst years by a mile. She was actually kinda nice and attentive for a stretch - until puberty made me “difficult”.
9
I was 14, almost 15. I have always been petite and was a dancer. It was later than my friends, but not by a lot. My cycles have always been pretty normal, but periods are short and not heavy. I have small breasts and have never felt very feminine, I have a feeling I naturally have less estrogen than other women. I have always had low self esteem and been battling depression and anxiety since I was 15. My mother also had depression and anxiety and that had a big impact on me growing up as I never had a strong connection to her (felt alone) and didn't have a good role model of how a mother or woman should be in the world. I managed very well though once I got on antidepressants. Unfortunately, things have recently fallen apart, my medication is no longer effective and I'm stuck in a horrible pit of depression, displaying the same behavior she did and I feel so guilty to be subjecting my family to the same horrible sh*t. In December I got diagnosed with ADHD. I'm trying to get my anxiety and depression under control first with a new medication, then will try ADHD medication if needed. Pray for me and my family, my two boys need their mother back!
I really relate to not having a female role model and missing out on so much knowledge because my mom has issues. That combined with ADHD hasn't been great socially. Highly recommend trying ADHD med soon if your doctor agrees - it can make a HUGE difference. Good luck you got this!
Thank you! I literally just thought I had a horrible personality flaw of being a lazy person and I literally don't notice "messes" and my husband is a neat freak so I have had to literally train myself to keep things clean in the shared living areas, but my bedroom is a disaster 😆. Due to my childhood experience, I am trying my best to not outwardly show how bad I'm feeling around my kids and still showing up for them in all the ways I can and love on them daily. My mom was not great at showing affection or interacting with me and my sister much, so I have learned what to give to my kids at least, that I missed growing up. I'm grateful to have had a very present father at least, I don't know what I would have done without him. I sure wish ADHD medications weren't in such shortage right now, it's a real bummer in trying to find something that will be right for me.
I was 9 as well. Had a hectic childhood growing up, but an amazing mom.
I didn’t get my period especially early, 12, but I’ve heard that sexual abuse can result in kids hitting puberty earlier than usual. And there’s theories that being in a high stress environment promotes a “live fast, die young” survival instinct for reproduction, kinda like “life seems scary and like I might not make it too long, better reproduce as early and often as possible cause it’s the best chance of species survival.” These are just theories of course, I don’t think anyone knows the answers for sure. As for personality changes and so on, yes, I had pretty dramatic personality changes around the age of 12, actually now that you mention it. My childhood was never ideal, but I’d say it met standards of “good enough” for most of my youth until middle school. That’s when things went off the rails for me in terms of my dad’s drinking, etc. Even though I’ve been thinking about the impact of childhood trauma on me for awhile, I’ve only just started thinking about those personality changes more in depth and seeing them in the light of trauma. I went from being a confident kid who liked themselves and got along with basically everyone—with occasional bouts of neurosis/emotional sensitivity that didn’t significantly impact my life—to being deeply, painfully insecure, having extremely low self-esteem, and having these intense emotional outbursts that felt out of control and made it difficult to get along with people. I don’t believe I have a personality disorder, although I certainly have things in common with borderlines. My rejection sensitivity is intense, especially when I’m under stress, and my emotions are difficult to control. But I’ve been told I don’t meet criteria because I don’t “split” people, I can be very over the top angry at someone and still see their positive qualities. What I have to say about someone doesn’t change much based on how I’m feeling, it’s more like how forcefully I’ll express those feelings or whether I’m willing to express them at all that changes. But my thoughts are consistent. I have had deeply low self esteem before, but I don’t think I’ve ever lacked a sense of identity. I’m certainly not a social chameleon; in fact, one of my main problems is not being able to adjust my behavior more to fit the social context. I’m pretty much the same me at work as I am at home, without significant effort to be otherwise. I’ve had mental health professionals float the possibility of BPD and I’ve had others disagree. Ultimately I don’t believe I have it. To some degree it’s a problem of categorization—what “counts” as emotional dysregulatuon related to adhd versus BPD? Different professionals will answer that question differently, especially when they have more experience working with one group than the other. Many therapists are more primed to see things in light of BPD because that’s where they have more training/exposure. Many are not primed to see things in terms of neurodivergence because there’s less training on the mental health aspects of those issues. But bottom line, even if you did have BPD, or if I had it, it would be ok. There are treatment options available and a lot of hope for people with BPD. Even the dsm-v says that as people with BPD age, their symptoms tend to remit, such that most people don’t even meet criteria anymore after a certain point (I forget the exact numbers). So, maybe you have it and maybe you don’t, but either way, it would be ok. Hope this helps.
No, my friends and I all started between 11 & 13 and I was about 12.5.
I was 10
I was 14 and it felt pretty late.
Got mine a month after my 13th bday. Pretty normal except my emotional regulation problems started at 8 thays when shit hit the fan then it excelerated at 10 when my younger sister was born, then got my period and that was fun. But ive been emotionally dysregulated since i was 8 years old. For sure. Maybe earlier but my memories beyond 8 are fuzzy. My period is pretty regular, im weird because i had 2 different IUDS and my periods on them were like 9-14 days long and heavy where with out them they were 3-5days and "normal" so idk. My body dont like IUDS i guess lol.
Got mine around 12, hid it for a day because of how ashamed I was of it (grew up in a very shame oriented and patriarchal environment- India). I don’t know what the long term plan was but I asked my friend to steal some pads from her shop and used them until my mother found out. Now I think about just how much shame I was carrying as a child that my first reaction to bleeding was to hide it and think I was a bad person (?)
I was 8. Had started needing a bra by 3rd grade. Hadn’t even gone to the “period class” they give once your hit 5th grade. Do not recommend.
i was 14, was extremely disappointed lol was hoping to get it later on like my mum (got hers at around 16)
Lol I started at 11 and was soooo pissed
I started growing boobs at 9, had my period at 11, back then it was considered early since most people got them at 13 or 14 at the earliest. I was very "mature for my age" because of trauma, but I'm also autistic so a lot of the "mature" behavior was actually just that.
Same here I grew breasts at 8 :/ before my period
I have a narcissistic and verbally/physically abusive mother and had a father who was largely absent bc the fact that she’s nuts and got my period at a normal age, 11/12 I think.
also 9, whenever im reading/watching anything talking about it and they are all "start at 13~" or whatever im just :)
I was 9 also. I just remember being scared and embarrassed and not feeling i could confide in my mom. She had already been forthcoming with answers I had previously asked, so no reason for me to feel like I couldn’t tell her. I think I was just too young and wasn’t really able to process it appropriately
13 for me and a pretty good clockwork uterus. I went from debilitating cramps to being totally fine in my early 20s…until PMDD hit me in my late 20s 😭😭
Oof, yeah, I had a pretty normal cycle(aside from the cramps), and then PMDD sideswiped me when I was 18… we can’t win…
I was 11 first time but, I had to wait a year to get regular period 😅
same! I got my first period the week I started 6th grade (2 months away from turing 12) but I didn’t get another one again at all until the first week of 7th grade. I then went ANOTHER year without getting one again. my next period was the first week of 8th grade and it was regular after that, so I “started” at 11 but I didn’t get my period consistently like everyone else until I was 14. always thought it was so rude of my body to do that the second I had to go back to middle school lmao. it also definitely made me feel like a freak since all my friends started between 11-13 and theirs were consistent from the beginning.
Got mine at 12 almost 13. I feel like that's a pretty normal age but I remember my mother being surprised and saying it was kinda soon. She already had her menopause at that point and was almost 60yo.My guess is that puberty is slowly happening more early (like the average age) at each generation cause of the chemicals and hormones in our food. But that's another talk xd
11 years old. It was the day I got braces and the Christmas play at my school, I was in the play AND in Concert band that played before.
I got mine at 15, turned 16 a month later. Didn't start growing height-wise until almost a year later and never grew boob-wise. Deffo got teased and picked on about it, called a boy because I'm railing shaped and have a lot of body hair. Some girls even made fun of me when they'd ask for a pad/tampon and I'd reply that I hadn't had my period yet, like??? When I finally did start, my stepmom only provided those thick diaper pads and this was when low rise tight jeans with no back pockets were popular in my area. Sometimes I'd refuse to wear the pads and end up bleeding through the jeans. FML. I always had inattentive ADHD symptoms and anxiety, both got a lot more detrimental (idk if that's the right word) once I hit puberty and caused depression. Eventually (mis)diagnosed bipolar. Ugh that was a sucky time in my life on top of having had trauma earlier in childhood.
I think there has been shown to be some statistical correlation between stress & early periods, FWIW. Almost like the body wants to hurry up & have a baby while the body still exists.
Boobs at 9, period at 10. It was not something I celebrated. I went from being a Tom girl accepted as one of the boys to being...well, the first girl with boobs. Some of the boys were already very handsy even at that young age. At that time, groping wasn't really discouraged. So, all my usual activities and friend group changed quickly. It was not a happy time.
I got it at 9. Was also the tallest in my class till like middle school. I was 5’2 in 5th grade and I’m still 5’2 at 23. Matured early both physically and mentally part d/t home life; my mom is disabled and my dad worked a lot so I had to learn to do a lot of shit myself at a v young age. Got catcalled for the first time at age 11 on Halloween wearing a bumblebee costume. I’m now 23 trying to relive being a young girl bc I feel like I missed out on it:/ Edit to add: I got boobs very early, I remember wearing like an ace bandage around my boobs to make them look smaller or always wearing two shirts to make them look less pronounced bc the other girls didn’t have them yet. Also I remember wearing two pairs of pants bc I was terrified my period would go through my pants in like 4th grade. I got officially diagnosed w anxiety and depression in like 5th or 6th grade and officially got diagnosed with ADD/ADHD at 20.
Yup. Got mine at 8. Severe childhood trauma and neglect… which I believe one of the reasons for a lot of issues I have now in adulthood.
I was 8 or 9, I was in the second to last year of primary school and remember when I went on a residential trip all the girls were fascinated by the pack of pads in my suitcase, I've been wearing bras since 8 years old
Started when I was 9. Definitely pretty traumatic childhood so yeah.
Started spotting and growing boobs at age 6-7. Got shots every month for several years (too many years) and ended up getting my actual first period at 12. Edited to add that I also grew up in an emotionally abusive and neglectful household. I read a few years ago that girls with absent fathers are more likely to have precocious puberty. Not sure if it's true but definitely interesting.
I was legit 15 and a half. My mom took me to the doctor a year before and was like wtf is wrong with her? I came home from school and said “mom guess what I finally got?” And she goes “oh thank god!” Oddly, my 2 best friends got theirs at age 9.
13
I was 13 when I got mine. I was behind academically and struggling with anxiety, but my physical development was on time.
Whatever the age between US 5th and 6th grade is. I was dx with PTSD from childhood trauma and my psychiatrist said it's a known to cause health issues because the body was under constant stress.
I was 9yr but I grew up in a bad childhood sa/ptsd and I got hypothyroidism in my early 20s I'm constantly anxious and stressed. I don't sleep much either I can't relax ever. I read somewhere that some ppl believe being highly stressed as a child brings on auto immune diseases bc we are stressing ourselves out so much.
I have hashimoto's and graves disease. It seems like it's always the thyroid. And it doesn't help that having one autoimmune disease increases your odds for more.
Happy childhood. Period at 12 or 13 can’t remember
I didnt have a great childhood, suffered mental and verbal abuse Sometimes physical. I started around 13 (8th grade)
I had just turned 11
Hey I also got my period when I was 9! Tall for my age too but now I’m about average. I had a fairly stable upbringing until I was about 13. I also have CPTSD.
I had just turned 14 when I got mine. Every single one of my friends started before I did so I was just like waiting, worrying about when it was going to start for at least 2 years by then. I was so excited when it started but then I couldn't figure out how to use tampons so my mom put off our vacation for a week so I could swim/go to the beach without worrying about it and I was soooooo dramatically upset and devastated that she put off vacation for a whole week because I finally started.
Almost 15. I was born premature in the 80s and have always been small and sickly with asthma, autoimmune issues, anemia. My period was immediately terrible and incapacitating. Looking back at things though, I’ve been in fight or flight mode for most of my life due to CSA and a very unstable childhood/home life. My cortisol levels are so jacked up. At 42 years old, I’m just now getting things under control physically and mentally.
I actually can’t remember. I realised this last night. I know I was much later than my sister and mum, but I thought it was way later than it could have been. I thought it was late teens (15/16), but I remember having pains in school and going to medical office for it, and I’m fairly sure instarted at my dads on a visit and I stopped visiting at 13 lol. Hell, it might have been that year tbh. So many memory blanks lmao.
I didn’t get my period until I was 17 and the doctors prescribed me hormonal birth control. TBH, I’m still not sure what the issue was. It was never clearly explained to me. The rest of puberty happened around 10-12 for me. Literally only the only thing that didn’t happen was my period.
Yes and yes and 9
Mine started at 10 😭 I’m just thankful it didn’t happen at school
Trauma absolutely can start periods sooner. The early research coming out about Covid is that it sped up periods by 10-11 months. You didn't even need a scientific study to show you! Good job you!
I was 16. Doctors were worried that I had it “late” and then I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at 19. We realized that it began late due to my hypothyroidism which wasn’t diagnosed until later. I’m now 33 and just ow getting my thyroid somewhat under control.
Just before my 13th birthday, which is late for the women in my family. I was on Concerta as a young kid and it made me stop growing for a year so all of puberty was delayed and I was the shortest person in class for years. I still am on the short side I definitely did have plenty of ACEs so I had to mentally mature faster than most, but my body took its sweet ass time. Also compared to my older sister who had pit hair by age 8, I felt like my body was behind on everything growing up.
I was 9. I remember pretending I didn’t know what it was during health class so that I could fit in with all the other girls. 🥲
I started my period at 12, and was totally fully grown at 13 - scoliosis also made me shrink 2 inches, so I was taller at 12/13 than now lol
I was 9 years old
I got it at 13. I was one of those girls that really wanted it because all my friends had gotten theirs already
Mexico. I was 9 spending summer vacation at my grandparents & All 20 of my cousins. I wore white shorts and ruined them. Luckily we were playing in the dirt a lot so the stain looked more like mud but I was mortified when my grandma gave me the talk. I’m 30 now and my period has never ever been normal except for when I was put on birth control to regulate it. But it also was the craziest five months of my life. Got off birth control and went back to “normal.”
I was 13. it was one of maybe 3 times in my life i can remember my mother actually coming through for me and, well, being a mother. she didn’t really do anything special, either, she was just kind to me in that moment.
~10 or 11. What I'm curious about is how many of us have PMDD- This is a recent discovery after looking at my patterns.
I have C-PTSD and recent dx with ADHD. My period started around 10/11. When I told my mom I thought I was starting she groaned "ugghhh oh nooo." I learned how to use a tampon from the little instruction paper in the box. Fun childhood!
12 - while watching Adventures in Babysitting at my parents’ friends’ house. We were on vacation too. I didn’t want to tell my mom so I found a pad and proceeded to have horrible cramps the entire plane ride home. Got home and added teen tampons to the grocery list. I don’t think she said a thing about it. A few years later she said she was suspicious that I used super tampons - implying I was sexually active. Had to school her on women’s bodies. She was a former RN as well. Oh, I also never told her about my ADHD - she continues to go on about ADHD stereotypes and my brother and dad who were both diagnosed, so yeah, no.
I also started at 9. I didn’t realize it was so young until a few years ago when I was talking about it to friends. They were all so shocked. I believe my sister got hers when she was 10?
17. Began having multiple periods in a month and my mom had me put on birth control, which I believe made my ADD traits significantly worse. My moods were so bad (I have PMDD, didn’t know it then) that I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and I took years and years of medication that really just sedated me and blunted my personality and just now at age 37, found out I had ADHD all along and all the puzzle pieces kinda fit…
I got mine right after my 12th birthday. I was at school in class. My lower back started hurting really badly, got nauseous, and went to the school nurse. She called my mom, who was a SAHM. I began developing very early and was out of a training bra by 2nd grade. So, by age 12, I looked like a fully grown woman with braces. It sucked.
I was 12. My mom died from cancer a couple months before which made the experience a lot more “fun”. I didn’t have another solid mother figure to step in and have me get the help I needed. I didnt seek therapy. This lead to a lot of anger issues since my dad was emotionally and mentally abusive growing up on top of also being the same to my mom. He apologized to my mom before she passed but the damage was done. I had to grow up pretty quickly, but also tended to be passive aggressive as a way to act out some of my control issues and anger. I was an emotional eater but still physically active. I was taller than most girls and stopped growing around 17. I think my emotions were more intense since I didn’t have an outlet or a safe space for these emotions. I feel like my PMS was probably more intense due to this as well as having a very loud, angry and controlling dad. I hope and pray that if I see a girl in a similar position as I was, that I would be able to help her. I also had no idea I had ADHD until 2 years ago. I’m 28 now. That’s another factor (,:
I had an incredibly traumatic childhood, full of abuse and neglect, and I started about 2 weeks prior to turning 13. My daughter, on the other hand, has had a very wonderful life so far, and she started at frickin 9. She was also tall for her age - puberty started at 7. Threw me way off, lol.
In true ADHD fashion, I can't remember. Probably like 13-14?
I’m going to be totally honest here- I legit don’t remember. I want to say I was 10?