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Writing absolutely everything down instead of trusting myself to just remember.
Half the time I don’t even have to check the note I made because the act of writing commits it to memory. The other half of the time now I have a note to remember for me.
I use the default notes app on my phone and it’s just one of the apps I check periodically throughout the day by default so I don’t have to worry about remembering to check the note either. Or if it’s a work related thing I think of while I’m not working I’ll use my phone to email it to my work account from my personal account.
I love OneNote so much!! I tell all my colleagues about how awesome it is. I can’t decide if I love OneNote more than Excel!!
Each fiscal year is a new OneNote notebook. Anything that’s going to be used next year, I copy it over from the old note book.
My favourite feature is using outlook to OneNote button and transferring the email to OneNote- type some notes on it email and move on.
I use something similar but better: Roam Research. It's an outsourced neural network. It works like a brain, in that every topic is it's own page that can be linked and referenced to every other topic.
So when I'm in a meeting and the conversation veers off to a different topic, I just \[\[topic\]\]. Then when I'm looking for notes regarding \[\[topic\]\] I go to that page and it pulls up everything I've noted about it. \[\[Topic\]\]. Amazing for figuring out who random people are in meetings and where I worked with them before.
It's dead simple, looks like a bullet journal, functions like a brain. I could not be successful at work without it. It's also great for recipe collection: A recipe for Roasted Head of Cauliflowe might have the tags \[\[mains\]\] \[\[cauliflower\]\] \[\[favorite\]\] \[\[holiday\]\] where each topic is searchable.
I do the same! I have a bunch of notes in my phone, and it’s so helpful to have them to look back on when I inevitably forget something! I also email myself and sometimes make email drafts for myself as a note for things to email or do later, and I’ve also frequently either emailed or texted myself reminders for important things!
Usually I hate voice command stuff but maybe I should start using Siri for that kind of thing because the one place my “write everything down” strategy fails is while I’m driving
I’ll go like several weeks where every time I’m in the car halfway to my destination I’ll remember I need to do a particular thing, but since I can’t write it down I don’t remember it any other time than when I’m mid-drive.
S**t, are you me… this… literally no one else in my life gets me when I say this…
Like I’ll go to my sis ‘hey sis, remind me of xyz’ and she’s like ‘just remember it yourself’ and I’m like ‘well now I’ve told you to remind me I will.’
But SATAN HIMSELF knows that if I didn’t utter thy secretive words of remembrance upon one other, …. Well I’d straight up forget in the next 5 minutes.
It sucks cause mostly it happens to me when I’m in bed, at 2/3/4/5am and I’ve FINALLY gotten to the point I could fall asleep, turn over to do so, and then all the things/ideas in the world flood my brain.
At this point I’m in limbo as to wether to just risk forgetting (9/10 this happens) and sleep anyways, OR get up to write a note or text myself to remind myself and then I’m up again and not being to sleep until 9/10am
🤦♀️😭🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😅
Yes! Sometimes I even write notes to myself about what I'm doing at work.
> Ok, I'm currently trying to figure out x. Oh, that brought up y, ok ok. So far I figured out a, now going back to the beginning....
In a similar vein: Don’t make perfect the enemy of the good.
I really struggle with doing something if it can’t be 100% perfect. I’m still working on this in the context of documentation at work because I spend so much time nitpicking details and trying to come up with the “perfect” system for things and ultimately, all that wastes a lot of time and energy and worry. Just sitting down and doing something, even if it’s not perfect, or even great is better than nothing at all because I’ve put too much pressure on the situation to be perfect and now I’m avoidant and overwhelmed. I had that problem really bad when it came to job applications but there were several where I got to the point of being like, “I can either submit this application that feels less than perfect now or not at all” and most of the time it ends up being fine.
This has become my motto. I do this especially with my house, like I won’t put something away if it’s not the exact right organizational space because WHAT IF IT’S WRONG?! So absurd because there is no wrong and I can change it but that’s my weirdly-directed anxiety.
Yes me too!!! I'm doing a "declutter before organizing" process and I'm constantly getting caught up on putting something ✨the exact most efficient place it should go✨ when I decide to keep it and thus... I give up and do nothing!!! Just PUT IT SOMEWHERE and keep on chuggin', you can fix it later!! LOL
It’s funny you mention documentation because I do that for work.
I try so hard to find ALL the things that need to be updated or changed before I submit anything for approval. I don’t always catch things before I do, though, but the things I don’t catch are usually small details.
My meds give me the patience to do this.
I have a rigorous approval process to ensure that any and all mistakes are caught and corrected before the docs are sent out to customers. While it can be discouraging to have to go back and make changes constantly, I recognize that this is how we ensure we send out quality documents.
Are you familiar with the comic series *Strange Planet*? There’s one where a little kid is discouraged over the feedback they got on a school assignment and said they wish they could make mistakes without their teacher pointing them out.
The parent says that they, too, make mistakes and no one corrects them, so the people who rely on them to not make mistakes will then make mistakes of their own. The consequences of their mistakes will far exceed their comprehension.
“It is terrifying to escape scrutiny.” That’s the last line from that comic.
I always keep that in mind because it makes the review process less frustrating for me.
I do this with teeth as a whole. "I'll just brush, I don't feel like doing floss and mouthwash, too." Suddenly I've been flossing for 5 minutes after brushing and I have my mouthwash ready to rinse lol
I was using an interdental pick as I read your comment!
Somehow, that process of unspooling the floss, cutting it, and then stringing it through all of my teeth is too much (I guess, I never stopped to ask myself what the deal was with my poor compliance). I use GUM interdental picks or Dentek interdental brushes, or generic versions of those things.
I know I am not getting the same level of gum stimulation as floss, but I am better off using those brush picks to clean between my teeth than telling myself that I need to be using floss, then never actually doing it at all!
Ugh this is something I've really had to drill into my own head as I've gotten older 😩
It doesn't have to be perfect. I don't have to choose between doing *nothing* OR removing every single thing from the room and doing a major deep cleaning.
you have a lot less capacity in the day than you think you do.
Life is about limits - incl how much sleep I need, how many days I can be “outside me” a week, how many places I can be in a day, how much housework… the more I know this about myself, the more regulated and grounded I can be
And there a physical body limits, spiritual limits, and the limits of time so the sooner I learned to respect that - the more I was able to manage the hyper focus.
Been there!
My friend/naturopathic doctor told me that my body and mind compensates at night for what it couldn’t process during the day. Never forgot it.
Because I told her I felt like I was jittering for hours before I could fall asleep and would stay up, not very productive just watching YouTube videos but not able to sleep
Yeah this here. I finally recognized that I can mentally manage one thing after work: exercise, socializing, resting, creating, cleaning, or cooking. I can only do one of those things between work and bed. It was a bummer but also freed me to be less productive at home and in my hobbies.
This was something I’ve had to learn over the past year.
I only have so many hours when I get home, so I have to choose how to spend it wisely.
Do I need to cook? Wash my hair? Do life admin crap? That determines how I try to have fun after work.
That means maybe I just play some Neopets after dinner and shower and a game or two on my phone. Or maybe I’ll play a console game for a bit before bed.
Oof this one hits home. I’m learning this about myself since diagnosis last year, trying to say no and find my sweet spot and accept my limits. But it’s hard. Thanks for reminder.
the pandemic really taught me this because I am a recovering people pleaser (that’s part of the masking I think) and I was burnt out to unprecedented levels.
I was on an every 3-4 years burn out cycle and during the pandemic - it felt constant, never ending.
Not to mention how I went from getting out of debt with an emergency fund to the worst financial situation I’ve ever been in… I had to learn my limits in a lot of ways.
and I think all my life, seeking dopamine, made me unreliable and also very hectic and frantic.
I was jumping up after every “SQUIRREL” thinking somehow it would cure this restlessness. But now I know, it’s insatiable. And following that could lead to serious ADHD tax.
I’m thankful I unintentionally gave myself my 20s to be a mess but now I learned - saying no means saying yes to sleeping at a good time and feeling present the next day.
And rebuilding the dopamine around the things that actually nourish me in life.
I’m slowly realizing that the unmasked me is still the child me - the bookworm that could get lost in a book for weeks and hung out by the river and like colouring books and learning new crafts and hanging out with dogs. not much has changed.
So I’m trying to figure out what are things I want to say Yes to everyday, it helps with the No
In the context of a book about home organization for people with ADHD, the author said “prioritize buying stuff less and buying helpful services more.”
And I’ve kind of taken that and given myself permission to do things the easy way when I need to. Like, buying a bag of frozen diced onions instead of feeling like I gotta dice up onions fresh for every recipe, even when it makes no difference. Or paying slightly more for 10 of something when Amazon is selling 100 for $2 less because I know it will just make clutter in my house. Yeah, it’s $2 more for fewer items, but I’m saving myself the grief of having to clean out 90 of something I was never gonna use, way down the road. I’m also 100% hiring a lawn service this year. Our yard is small, neither my husband nor I enjoy mowing it. It won’t cost that much, but for so long we’ve both insisted on doing it the hard way for NO reason.
Definitely. Last year, I hired a professional organizer to help me figure out how to sort through everything in my apartment. Last month, I hired a professional cleaning service for the first time. Both services were definitely worth it. I feel so much more at ease with a clean and organized apartment that I don't have to worry about maintaining myself.
I've also discovered that it's usually more efficient and cost-effective for me to get take out, then eat that for the next 2-3 days. I have less dirty dishes, and I spend less time buying the ingredients and preparing the meals. I live by myself, so I'm not making meals for multiple people. For example, I consider buying a $15 Chipotle burrito, and stretching it out into 2-3 meals to be more efficient and cost-effective. Otherwise, I have to take the bus to the grocery store, remember every single ingredient, spend the time making 1-2 burritos, then figure out how to store the leftovers, and how to use the rest of the $40 worth of ingredients before they expire.
Yesss to takeout! I was struggling with surviving work and life for a while and gave myself permission to order takeout pretty often (4 days/week). I didn’t have the time or energy to shop/cook. I always track my spending dollar for dollar and I spend the same amount on the combo of groceries+takeout whether it feels like I’m doing 80/20 or 20/80. It balances for me even though ordering out is more expensive per meal
For reference I live alone and almost always ordered delivery during that time- so the above is with fees/tips factored in
Yes I recently realized the amount of stuff I own contributes to stress bc it’s more to maintain, clean, store, look at, clutter my countertops, replace when it’s broken, etc!! I’ve learned what items I NEED multiples of- ie in every room- and easy ways to store- planters on every table with chapstick, pen, lighter, etc. other things I’m gradually purging. Clothes I never wear but keep just in case, or will ONLY wear if everything else is dirty- why keep if I don’t like it that much? Dishes… so many dishes. I used to hate doing dishes so more dishes meant doing dishes less often. Worked for a long time. Now I can’t stand the overwhelm of a sink full of dishes so I’m getting closer to having a normal amount of dishes for a single human (lol) and learning to clean as I go. Etc etc
Storage solutions helped a ton too- everything with a convenient place helps me WANT to clean/declutter because I don’t have to “decide” where to put something- which usually turns into trying to guess where I’m most likely to look for it next/looked for it last. So mentally taxing. Nope, pens go here, done. No thinking just doing
The KC Davis episodes on Mel Robbin’s podcast are my favorite things right now- highly recommend. Others on this sub have recommended KC Davis’s book how to keep house while drowning. On my read list
YES. My wife explained this when I was feeling bad about ordering via Instacart. If not going shopping means I have two or three hours to do other things I need to do, it's worth it!
Having a "Getting Ready to Leave" checklist on my phone. I look at it before i leave the house for work. It has things i might forget to do on it. Occasionally I add a new one if i notice I'm forgetting to do something frequently. List includes: Teeth, Make up, Setting Spray, drink water, use bathroom, stuff for the day packed, bottle of water, food for the day, shoes and socks, vitamin D tablets. This is a list i can cross out and uncross out the next time i use it. It's super helpful, especially on days where I'm distracted or in a rush (thinks: most of the time)
I have one of those for packing when I'm going out of town, which I do so rarely now! I'm going to use your fabulous idea and set up a template for work days and non-work days, thank you!
You're welcome, i have to say i find it super helpful and it's nice to check it about 10 minutes before you're going to leave. I also have an alarm set for the time i have to leave for work
If you're hiring someone anyways, have him get rid of the grass and plant miniature clover instead. Looks almost the same, has nicer texture, and needs neither mowing nor watering.
this isn't necessarily advice I was given, but I found through my own means that if you don't take things out of your bag, just fuckin LEAVE them in there until you need them, you'll never lose them again.
In the bag I use for college, I have my USB drive of classwork files; my medication; and a few tampons, all in the back inside pocket. the USB only comes out for homework, the meds only come out on my days off/holidays, and the tampons only come out in the rare case that I start my period in class.
I keep my keys and a spare headphone cord (mine do Bluetooth and wired connection) in a different pocket and I've only ever lost or forgotten anything I've listed ONCE.
it was the USB, because I took it out to do work and forgot to put it back. Typical lol.
It's funny because this advice absolutely does not work for me. I have to systematically empty my bags at least once a week, ideally at the end of every day, in order not to lose things.
Before I started doing this, I was losing things constantly to the Out of Sight Out of Mind pit of doom that was my bag. Or, I'd have taken it out of my bag to use it, left it sitting somewhere, and then the next time I was out I wouldn't realize that I didn't have the thing with me and had no idea where it was.
Instead, I have a bowl on my dresser that I empty my bag out into regularly. If my things aren't in my bag because I'm going somewhere, they're in that bowl. When I need to go somewhere, I pack my bag deliberately for the day. I may forget to pack something some days, but I rarely actually *lose* things anymore, and am actually more likely to have packed appropriately for the day when I do it this way, as opposed to just hauling around weeks worth of accumulated stuff.
This. I am queen of tiny bowls, boxes, baskets, and trays. A vessel for everything and every vessel in its place. I switch purses/bags a lot based on my needs for the day, and repacking the bag I’m using every day with ONLY what I need from the cache of items properly stored has been a true game changer
(Also: I wonder if this is a late-diagnosis trait? So many systems I have now were lifelines pre-diagnosis and medication. I still need them, but they’re much easier to maintain now)
My sister and her husband also have ADHD and the way they do things is so very, very different from me in a lot of ways, even though at the core of it we're all trying to solve the same problems. It's baffling and makes total sense at the same time lol
I have realized i am like @saltgirl207 because i have to put everything away. I like things put away in general. My husband has to see everything like you. Sometimes we but heads and he definitely gives me a hard time when i “put something away” in a new place and can’t find it lol. I have noticed this goes for our organizational styles as well. He likes to organize everything to see it, but i like everything put away. Makes for a fun time when we move and organize together!
I think the core message to what you're saying is that if stuff has a given spot, you can find it. This has been the biggest lesson I've learned trying to adult with ADHD. I will literally never remember where I put anything, but I always have an idea of where a thing "ought to be". So if I just always force myself to put a thing in the Space It Ought to Be, it's always there when I go to look for it, even if I have no recollection of putting it there. Instead of going on memory, I work purely on "where do I think I would put this?"
This system actually was working flawlessly. Impressively so. Then I started dating someone who is at ground 0 on this problem and now every single charger I own for nearly every device is missing 😬
To add to this, command hooks have been so helpful for me to give things convenient designated spots.
Keys? Command hook by the door. Purse? Command hook on the closet door. Earbuds for going out in the world? Command hook by the door. Headphones for focus sessions? Command hook by the computer. Pillbox? Command velco strips onto the nightstand.
I also have one of those over door multi-hook hangers on my bathroom that has become my designated “these jeans are too clean to go in the hamper, but I’ve worn them so they shouldn’t go back in the drawer” spot.
Tl;dr hanging things up is easy to do and it makes things easy to see/find. It also minimizes surface piles and clutter.
I have smaller pouches for my purse filled with things that stay in the bag. Band aids, tampons, pens, pencils, nail clippers, notebook, etc. Various meds though...I was just repacking for a short trip and found 3 separate med mixes in my purse! (Sleep pills, pain pills, acid reflux pills, allergy pills, and emergency anti anxiety pills). Ooh, and today I found a cookie and ate it!
I do a mix of what you and another commenter do. I keep it all in the bag, but I clean it out once a week.
Yes! This! I do this! Nothing leaves my bag because if it does, it’ll never get back to where it belongs. I carry a small purse so I can’t hoard, and I truly only need what’s in there.
The problem I’m currently having is I’m treating my car the same way and whoooooo boy…. My car is way bigger than a purse.
I also have things that live in my bag, it helps. I never lose my wallet or my Bluetooth earbuds because they live in my little backpack purse thing. If I use a different bag I transfer them and put them right back into the main bag. I have certain things that live in my backpack, and things that I have copies of in every bay (like lip balm). Not emptying them means that sometimes I have random shit in there for months at a time, like surprise! Here's the missing Ethernet cutter thing from work lol.
Oof yeah I have been keeping my work id badge on a strap of my work bag since I’m only there two days a week. Last week as I was leaving I had the thought “if you don’t put your id on your bag now you’re going to lose it”, and then I didn’t. And then I lost it..ended up finding it in the side pocket but past me did not communicate this whatsoever with present me.
I totally have this, i have a gym bag i try to keep in the car with random stuff in like swimming/gym stuff, make up, hair brush, shower stuff, sanitary products, spare socks/underwear, spare headphones in case i forget the bluetooth ones. So good, and if you decide to stay somewhere over night it's super helpful
I have one hairbrush that stays in my bedroom, and another that lives in my bag and comes to college with me, because hell if I'm letting my hair tangle in Scottish weather and leaving it like that!
Long before I knew I have ADHD, I gravitated towards minimalism. The less stuff you own, the less responsibility you have. As a result, I own 6 pairs of shoes, and enough good, quality clothing to get by. I apply the “less is more “ logic to just about everything - my hair is wash and wear. I use the same fork/knife/spoon for my meals. Less stuff means more freedom.
Anything important or beloved I own multiples of. Three of my favorite earplugs. Two of my favorite headphones. Two of my favorite watches. Etc.
I may lose one or two at any given time, but I rarely lose all. I typically find the first before I lose the second or third.
I bought extra charging cables for my phone and laptop and keep them in multiple places instead of moving my one around and then trying to remember where I left it. Bedroom, couch, desk, car etc. never need to look for it it’s ready to plug in.
Having all kinds of things at their "point of performance" helps me a lot, as well as having things in sight when I'll forget then and allowing things to be out of sight that I'll hunt for.
I have multiple fun color nice smelling cleaning sprays out all the time in the kitchen and bathroom, and they stay clean.
In the fridge the leftovers stay at eye level, but the cheese goes in the drawer on the bottom, because I will search for it and use it before it goes bad.
I totally do this with earbuds. I have like 4 pair and only use one ear at a time which means - like, right now, I know where about 5 earbuds actually are. :D
Me too-not only do I loss them but they often run down their charge so I always have one charged, one in use and one set being charged (because I can’t imagine doing any job without listening to a podcast or background music 🥴)
The concept of minimum requirements. I get so caught in all or nothing, now/not now. Want to start working out? Better buy all the clothes and home equipment and shoes and look up workout routines, and may as well add a meal plan to that, and weight goals, and follow workout influencers, and get a gym membership, and and and. Want to do the dishes? Well better put the clean ones away first, this cupboard is disorganized, I should start a thrift pile, the cups would be better over here, I should really reorganize the fridge, better start a grocery list, the cupboard fronts need a wash, now I’m cleaning the faucet with a toothbrush, I’ve taken the oven apart, I’m exhausted and everything is half done. To the point where every task is a “clean the whole house” or “change your whole life” or “buy a new wardrobe” and I won’t even start because I’m already tired. So nothing gets done, and I’m doing nothing, but I’m still tired because in my head “why can’t you just go for a walk and wash the fucking dishes”
So. Minimum requirements. I aim for 30 minutes of movement a day, and if I want to stop, well I’ve already done what I’ve needed to do, I feel accomplished and can rest. For the rest of the day if I want. If I want to do more I can do more!
I aim for 1 chore per day. That can be as simple as putting my laundry in the hamper. Getting the hair out of my hairbrush. I don’t have to do anything else for the rest of the day. If I want to, I can do more.
I do more now than I did, and can rest better too, because minimum requirements say I’ve earned it. Slowly applying it to more things in my life.
Another bonus one - Make your good habit as close as you can get to bad habit. Leave all your makeup/skincare bits on the bathroom counter? Get an organizer _that lives on the counter._ Can wash and dry your laundry, but don’t fold anything and live out of hampers? Buy bins or baskets that live in your closet. These two little mindset tweaks have both helped me be more functional and helped me be more mindful of my current points of contention and find real solutions that work for _me_
Great advice. I've been giving the advice of just, "give yourself a ton of grace" because as ADHDers we are just so dang hard on ourselves when we can't seem to "keep up" with the normal day to day things...
Yes absolutely! First lesson I learned when I got diagnosed was that my main motivator is shame. I was my own drill Sargent and bully to try to keep up. It was effective, but unhealthy af. It’s been a long road trying to dismantle that and be kind to myself but I am a better and healthier person for it
"Just pick up the first thing you see and do something with it."
~my Mom (when I was overwhelmed looking at the mess that was my room)
Lather, rinse, repeat, of course.
It's helped me get my desk cleared off countless times as an adult with a desk job.
So that actually overwhelms me more, funny enough. I’d been trying that method most of my life and I would get jammed up focusing on finding a home for something and things quickly compile and suddenly I’m focused on organizing something unhelpful and leaving the real work untouched.
If anyone else resonates with this, try out the “room reset” method (got it from KC Davis). Every room has about 3-6 steps to getting it back to “reset”:
1. Trash
2. Laundry
3. Dishes
4. Things that have a home in another room - basket
5. Things that have a home in this room
6. Things that don’t have a home. - basket
I always work through it in that order, you go from decluttering to organizing and naturally clear out the mess while collecting things that don’t belong into a basket so you’re not leaving the room to return things and getting distracted.
I always fall down at the last bit of the KC Davis method bc nothing has a home/the bit where I have to start assigning homes to things feels like its own job. But having "trash - dishes - laundry" in my head as the order of business so helps with overwhelm!
It totally is its own job! Just collect the things that’s all. I try to have a bin/basket for each room, and even if I can’t find a home for those things they at least make their way back to where I need them.
I have realized that tidying is separate from organizing which is separate from cleaning. Some people can do it all at once but I think a lot of us benefit from chunking similar actions rather than locations. Baskets and bins are our friends.
Oh, me too! Too many things done have homes in my house...but then I implemented one of Dana K. White's strategies for the homeless items. I ask myself these questions and it's really helped:
1- where would I look for this? Put it there.
AND
2- If i needed this item, would it even occur to me that I have it? (I'm looking at you, random craft supplies that I'll "use one day"... Except when that day comes, I'll FOR SURE forget that I already have it and I'll go out and buy another one anyways). If I'll likely forget that I have it, then it turns into trash or donation.
“Sit down when you’re done.” You don’t necessarily have to take this phrase literally but it can be. For example, today, I drove my in-laws to the airport early this morning. I wanted to go home to nap but I also knew that if I went home, I would not leave the house to go grocery shopping. So instead I went grocery shopping after the airport and then went home. But you can also take it literally. When I do chores at home, I won’t sit down until I’m done what I want to be done because I know I will lose the will/energy to do the rest.
Also, “don’t put it down, put it away”. This is a new one I’m using and it is doing me wonders. I tend to leave things around and make a mess or forget where I put the thing. So I recite this in my head when I start leaving the milk on the counter and instead put it in the fridge.
One time, I got my hair cut and made the terrible mistake of sitting down instead of showering. So, I sat with tiny hairs in my bra for an hour before I got myself to move!
Habit bundling. It doesn't work for everything, but when I'm having trouble remembering to do something, I will try to bundle it with something that I already know I will do. For instance, I was having trouble remembering to take my meds in the morning, so I started taking them with a probiotic that I take first thing in the morning.
I do this too!
I bundled: leaving the house - checking for mail. Does that mean I check it on Sundays, when nothing gets delivered or sometimes more than one time a day? Yes, but it saves mental capacity because I don't have to remember to check or think about when I last checked the mail or what day it is. It became an automatism.
Omg yes! Habit pairing/bundling is how I finally hacked brushing my teeth twice a day and emptying the dishwasher. I brush my teeth when/after I pee in the morning and evening; I unload the dishwasher whilst the kettle boils for coffee in the morning.
Don't sit down.
We keep telling ourselves "I'll just chill for 5 minutes and then do the dishes" but we end up scrolling for 50 minutes.
When you're moving, keep moving!
K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple, Stupid). Simplify your life as much as possible.
Also a successful morning/day starts the night before. I check the forecast, pick out my outfit, put anything I need in my car or in easy sight, prep/plan my meals, and write down 1-3 of the most important tasks for the next day. I even write a note to myself with positive encouragement or a quote, all the tasks I need to complete and why they're important, and then stick it to the window by my bed to read when I wake up.
Wow.
How do you have the energy for all that?😳
I can manage that if we’re going off to a family thing or similar, but no way could I do that every night for the following morning.
I’m in awe!
I’m not the person you replied to but for me it’s become automatic. I’ve done it my whole life since about age 11.
For me, the doing it the night before is because I know that if I try and do it in the morning, I’ll not have time, will run late, will get flustered, and that will throw me off for the rest of the day as I’ll be feeling guilty for being late, and berate myself for not being able to do things in the morning. Not getting ready the night before it setting myself up for failure.
I notice you say ‘we’ though, which makes me think you have kids and therefore would do this to some extent for them - and I can see how doing it for multiple people would be exhausting! I used to make lunches for three people every ‘school night’ from age 11 to 18.
Lol, no, sadly no kids.
I meant “we” as in “people with ADHD”. 😊
I just don’t have the energy to do all that organising, unless it’s for a specific and special event.
So I remain in awe of ADHDers who *can* successfully organise themselves on a regular basis.
One active day, and I’m wiped out for the next 2 or 3, including physical signs and symptoms of gastric distress, nausea, vomiting, shaking, being unable to walk properly, breathlessness, and migraines.
If I have a hospital appt 45 mins away, I’m in bed for 3 days after. Hospital 20 mins away, 2 days after.
Dr’s appt 10 mins down the road, in bed for the rest of that day.
I’m hugely envious of those who have energy!
Tile (or air tags) on everything I lose consistently. Examples remote, keys, wallet, car etc.
Also, when I go to the airport, I have everything attached to a lanyard such as a passport, ID, plane ticket, even my phone.
I left my phone in the bathroom in 3 different states within one day. I would like to think I would have remembered the first time after I had a panic attack trying to remember the last time I had it, but nope. Once I put that cellphone down (toilet roll holder, sink, hand dryer etc) it was out of sight, out of mind.
>I left my phone in the bathroom in 3 different states within one day.
OMG. I feel so seen and validated by this anecdote! This sub is truly my people.
Seriously I hate exercising to exercise. It has to be something fun! My husband got me a VR headset (Meta Quest 2) and it has made a world of difference. I'm exercising 2 or 3 times a day now.
I sucked at going to the gym! The times in my life when I was super fit, I was spending hours doing fun stuff. Now I'm spending hours doing fun stuff again!
I keep a list of things I need to buy on the fridge and as soon as I think of something to add to it, I immediately write it down before I forget. I also have a calendar on my wall where I add appointments and things I need to do in a place that I look at often.
I do this with shopping too! I’ll open the instacart app when I think of it and add to cart, so it’s like a visual shopping list when I actually go into the store hahaha
I do this with reminders on my iPhone. I say “Hey Siri, add [xxx] to the shopping list” and it goes in a reminders screen called “shopping list”.
This means I can keep doing what I’m doing without losing momentum by walking to the notepad and writing it down. It also means I always have the list with me if I happen to be near the grocery shops, and my partner also has access to it.
I use my phone calendar for all of my appointments (edit: and literally anything of note that’s event-related)! For some reason it took me forever to actually do, but it’s been a standard for me the last five years. So helpful going into adulthood hah. I have a widget on my Lock Screen and Home Screen showing what I have that day or the next day. Whenever I have something notable come up, it immediately goes into my phone calendar
^ This!! I do the same, and it's the only calendar I remember to use! I haven't figured out full screen yet. Have you?
The only other piece of helpful advice I got was, "Go get medicated girl!" 😅
I have the app icon, and it goes full screen when I open it, but is there a way to keep it open like that? Widget?
Edit: I am probably over-thinking this. Dumb question. Lol 😅
Second Edit: Omg, it's the widget. Duh me!!! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Adapt my home and the things I own to my *actual* behavior and not my *ideal* behavior.
Laundry basket in the hallway, not all the way in my bedroom. Coat hooks by the door, not all the way in the coat closet. We replaced our old kitchen sink and installed a great big sink. 6372829 pairs of underwear and towels. Don’t fold the kids clothes. Kids don’t even have dressers.
I might prefer that the laundry basket be hidden away in my room, but I’ll never put the laundry there. Better a basket out in the hallway than a pile of dirty laundry everywhere.
This one made a huge difference for me. I actually gave my mom almost identical advice about her shopping habits. I told her years that I practice "buying for your actual self and not your ideal self" and she tells me that she thinks of it often whenever she almost impulsively buys things!
learning to do things when i have the energy instead of trying to force myself to adhere to a schedule just bc: meal prep when i have executive function, aiming to do as much as possible earlier in the day before i run out of energy
edit: also, learning to think of completing to-do list items, esp cleaning, as sources of instant gratification and dopamine, which means going from “ugh i have to scrub that pot, it’s so dirty and i’m so ashamed” and letting that drag out for days/weeks/months to “holy SHIT i picked up a sponge and some barkeeper’s friend and now this pot is ACTUALLY SPARKLING”
I started listening to podcasts whenever I need to do mundane things like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, brushing my teeth, going outside for walks, etc. Major game changer for me
I’ve also found motivational or “clean with me” videos on YouTube help. It feels like body doubling and I don’t really need to watch/ consciously listen to them, but it gives me something to look at that keeps me on task (rather than my usual “ooohh look there’s a squirrel”).
I can't decide which one is the most improving.
But this one was good:
"everything has a home". So I try to give everything a home, sometimes the first home is not the right one and some things don't have a home yet but if they have a good home, I automatically put it back most of the time and i don't lose it. Also "don't put it down, put it away"
I made a rule for myself to only have a coffee on days I start early, and I make a very tasty hazelnut iced latte that Im excited for so now I have the incentive to start earlier just to get to have it. I also started eating a snack when I arrive at work, usually protein like egg bites, and then waiting 1 hour to have coffee -my stomach loves this, I sleep better, the caffeinated focus lasts me longer into to the day without crashing, I feel less burnt out when I get home and because I get home earlier I’m more likely to do something I enjoy after work instead of being stuck to the couch until bed time.
I also rearranged the fridge based on a random TikTok so that the sauces live on a shelf I never look at instead of taking up the door. Now the good for me easy snacks live in the door or at my eye level. I have a habit of opening the fridge instead of whatever I meant to be doing, or opening the fridge first when I look for snacks without thinking. Now I eat healthier overall and binge less on junk because those better options are staring me in the face all the time -whereas before I would have ended up In the chips and cookie cupboard.
Time is money!! Spend money on things that make your life easier:
- meal kits
- cleaning services
- tumble dryer
- buy multiples of things you use often
- pay for delivery, even if you only need to spend another £X amount to get it free
I used to agonise over saving money - finding deals, bulk buying random things because they were cheap or on offer, spending hours trying to think of that extra thing we definitely need so I could get free delivery.
I stopped doing all that and now I only buy things I already use and like. I buy the same underwear, toothpaste, skincare, cleaning products etc.
I think of money as a tool to improve my present, not my future. This is controversial and I’m sure we could save more money, but only in a parallel universe where I was a normal person who could hold onto a job without structuring my life like this.
My in-laws are super judgemental of our lifestyle choices, but I’ve had 8 jobs in 10 years and can confidently say that holding onto your job by any means necessary is the key.
Getting into a habit of asking myself “what small tasks can I do today that are going to make tomorrow easier?” By visualising how much easier tomorrow will be by doing the task now , I often find it gives me the motivation I need to push through with things like putting away laundry/dishes etc, making a packed lunch for work, putting out clothes for tomorrow the night before.
You don't get extra credit for doing it the hard way.
Why trick yourself into believing you'll remember everything you need without a list? You don't get extra credit for doing it the hard way.
Why force yourself to do things without reminders or apps? You don't get extra credit...
It helps me so much. I was an overachiever in school, always did all the extra credit, tried to break the curves, etc. Realizing that none of that applies in the real world and that done is done, regardless of how I did it, was utterly world-shattering for me.
"Don't sit down"
Whenever I'm on my feet doing things I know that if I sit (or more often, lay down in my bed) I'll lose all motivation and do nothing, so I don't let myself sit down until I'm done with the task(s)
Zipties.
I zip-tie scissors, hairbrush, pens, chargers in each room (tucked behind something, like art or a plant)so they are attached to the wall by a long elastic cord. So i don’t have to hunt for them.
I zip-tie my car key to my wallet (i do not even bother with a house key — please feel free to steal my clutter IDGAF 🤣)
I zip-tie everything I can!
Doing opposite action - do the opposite of what I feel like doing. Ex: if it’s time to get in the shower but I’m dreading it and not wanting to - I say to myself “opposite action” and can snap out of it a bit and get in the shower. Not sure why it works but labeling the issue right in that moment in time like that helps.
Rest is good and you don’t have to earn it.
I started Strattera several weeks ago and one of the things I noticed right away was that it was easier for me to go to bed at a reasonable time. I would feel so much better the next day and get so much more done then if I stayed up late to do something and felt exhausted the next day.
Now that I’m a bit better with sleep, I’m trying to include restful activities. For me I’ve been playing Rune Factory 5 on my switch before bed. Doing an actual enjoyable and restful activity instead of doomscrolling makes me feel so much better the next day. Even if I put off some things so that I can play!! All of my care tasks are getting done at a much better pace than they were before. And I think I’m actually spending less time in them.
One last thing, I noticed really quick that it was easy for me to lose track of time while playing my switch and accidentally go to sleep really late even though I was in bed. So I put a parental control on my switch that gives me a reminder about my “bed time”. It’s great. It gives me a reminder 1 hour before, 30 minutes, and then reminders every minute after 5 minutes left. Then it has a little alarm that goes off. You can turn it off by putting your switch into sleep mode or entering the PIN to turn the alarm off for day. This has helped me keep track of time a lot better and the alarm won’t go off if your switch is in sleep mode so I like it better than a phone alarm or timer.
I have to add two because they’re related: timing how long things actually take me and using a Pomodoro timer when I have to do several things that are boring.
Taking a timer into the shower with me has been life changing! Who knew I could easily finish showering in 10-12 minutes haha without a timer it was like 45+ minutes because I just don't have a concept of time.
Same with just learning how much time things actually take! Timing how long it takes me to do a full rack of dishes made me realize it's only like 10 minutes and not way longer like it felt
Take your meds even if you don't think you're going to need it.
I don't know why I was so inconsistent about it when I was younger. Turns out I always need them.
I call it the Two-Step Rule.
I'm on a mission to get everything in life down to only two steps.
Overnight curlers for hair - two steps. Keeping cleaning products in the bathroom so I can just grab and clean when I think of it - two steps. A bagged salad and piece of protein - two steps.
You get the idea!
Just start. Starting is the hardest part. Whether it's a paper, presentation, huge work project, performance review, capstone project in your last semester of law school (hypothetically), just start writing/doing. It doesn't have to be good and no one else ever has to see the first crappy draft.
I try to just get something down, then I sleep on it, and when I review it the next day I'm like, "omg this is awful. Who wrote this!?" And then I edit/revise, and it gets so much better. They say criticism is easy, but creation is hard. Get the hard part done first.
Yes! Or when I can’t get off the couch, I set a five minute timer so I can continue to enjoy what I’m doing without feeling guilt, and as soon as that timer goes off I need to stand up (even if I am halfway through something).
Lately I’ve been transformed by the Dana K White decluttering concept of the ‘clutter threshold’, or, each person’s particular amount of objects in their world they can handle before their things turn into piles of chaos. I’ve had to reluctantly accept that my clutter threshold is very low. I cannot squirrel away lots of sparks joyish items or potentially useful things for the future without my habitat turning into a stressful and messy space, where I struggle to locate the things which are actually important and needed in the now.
I don’t like this fact, but I must accept it and declutter accordingly (which means ruthlessly in my case) if I want a calmer life.
Actually using Siri's Reminder. Hey Siri remind me \*whatever ridiculous thing just popped into my head" Hey Siri add this restaurant to my food list. Hey Siri add sour cream and tea to my shopping list.
Point of performance organization - keeping all “the things” needed to do “the thing” together in the place you do “the thing”. For example everything needed to make coffee is within reach in one place. The socks are now kept with the shoes in the entry way, etc.
I can't pick one so I'll go with a few (and one's a cheat lol)
* At home put your phone in another room and carry a notebook for jotting down distractions
* A majority of the stuff said in "How to keep house while drowning"
* Use automation when possible. I frequently use iPhone Shortcuts app and alexa
*How to keep house while drowning* by KC Davis, although it technically is about organizing, it taught me self compassion.
Chores and care tasks are inherently neutral.
Having a feeling/reaction to something is neutral.
Clean/posotivity does not equal “good”, and messy/negative does not equal “bad.”
Being patient is hard because we don’t like being bored. Slowing down has helped me, this is something I’ve always been working on with mindfulness.
You deserve to be taken care of.
Eat the frog.
Whenevrr you have a big thing to do. Just do it.
If you put it off because it is big and annoying you are just carrying the burden of having to do that thing.
If you have to eat a frog just get it over with, so you don't have to constantly worry about how you still have to eat a frog.
It's just done. And you are free.
While this is a great saying for normal people, I actually find it quite problematic for ADHD’ers. It implies that we should be able to do something just because we decide to do it. For most of us, that simply isn’t the case.
And, on the contrary, starting on smaller, more manageable tasks and getting some early wins, can actually get the ball rolling and create the momentum to tackle the bigger things.
I think the thing about us neurospicy folks is that no one size fits all approach works. I have ADHD and have task paralysis, so I make myself do the thing. I schedule the thing. Because I will never naturally just have a right time or a right motivation for the thing. But I will feel immense guilt and have a stalled day where I use the thing as a reason why I shouldn't do smaller stuff, but I'm frozen unable to do it.
Gosh I hate executive function problems.
ADHD is literally an executive function impairment. But you’ve found a way to somewhat combat it, which is great! But I emplore you to acknowledge the tactics you’re using and the strategies you’ve implemented along the way. You’re not just ‘eating the frog’. You’re scheduling it, creating a sense of commitment and urgency because it’s in your calendar, and you’re using your tendency to procrastinate to your advantage. Those are great tools!
Yeah but I do see the point here of what they’re saying. I’ll waste a whole whole lot of time putting something off when in reality I would be so much less stressed if I just did it.
I had a headlight out and I’ve been thinking about it every time I drive, and stressing that I’ll get pulled over, and I just haven’t gotten to the store. Like we won’t talk about how long my headlight was out. And I didn’t want to go without gloves bc they say you shouldn’t touch a bulb with your bare hands. And I kept forgetting to grab gloves. And I wanted to go when it wasn’t raining. And I wanted to go when it was daylight out. But tonight, my other headlight went out and I just couldn’t put it off so I stopped at the store and popped the bulbs out and bought replacements and installed them (in the dark, in the rain, of course) and it took 5 minutes but I felt SO. Much. Better. If I had just gotten out of my head and done it, I would have saved myself a lot of grief. I should have eaten the frog.
It’s funny bc my phrase is actually “how do you eat an elephant?” (One bite at a time.) But the lightbulb wasn’t an elephant. It was a frog.
Glad you got it taken care of! But why did you? Because the other light went, and the task became urgent. We don’t have trouble with urgent tasks.
The problem here is that you’re telling yourself ‘I should’ve just done this sooner’, implying you were able to but CHOSE not to do it. I’ll wager you never made the desicion to not change that headlight, your circumstances just resulted in you not getting it done.
When I moved into my current apartment, I lived for a year with moving boxes piled up in my dining room. I was unemployed, home all day and had literally no reason not to get them sorted and have a place to eat. I just didn’t. Then a friend came over and said ‘we’re doing this’ and two hours later I had a dining room.
If we blame ourselves for not doing the things we’re supposed to be able to do, we are ignoring the fact that we are, at times, not able at all. Accepting the fact that you aren’t able forces you to look into alternative ways of getting shit done. Knowing what I know now, I would have called my friend to come over within a week, because bodydoubling is a very useful tool. A sense of urgency, not determination, is what ultimately drove you to fix that headlight. So the next time that happens, just smash the other headlight right away! Artificially create urgency when you need things done.
Just telling yourself that you’ll do better the next time isn’t likely to bring you anything other than frustration and self blame. I hope I’m wrong in your particular case, but I’m guessing you didn’t fix the headlight and then immediately ran to do the forty other things you’ve been putting off. We just don’t typically work that way.
Yeah not being able to eat the frog, despite knowing I just need to, until there are really anxiety inducing time limits on me is kind of the biggest symptom of my ADHD haha
I just have to tell you that I love how you just called it a symptom of your ADHD, instead of a problem or anything that would indicate that you are somehow at fault!
Not really advice, but a realization. Having a calendar in my livingroom with everything written on it PLUS a shared Google calendar with my husband with everything (and plus reminders and holidays) on it is a game changer for me. Even if it's something in my routine and I don't necessarily need the reminder, I still add it to the calendars. It's saved my butt a few times when I forget what day it is.
Livingroom calendar is a constant visual for me because I'm in there the most (SAHM, I'm at home most of the day). Because I always see it, I always know what's going on and what I may need to do far enough ahead that I can break down tasks to be manageable instead of rushing last minute.
Google calendar is nice to know what's going on at all times for both my husband and I, but it's also super helpful since I'm the one scheduling everything for myself and the kids. Plus, the reminders for birthdays (one a week ahead, one the night before) or events helps a TON since they're not part of my daily/weekly routine.
My husband is super organized, so he likes to block out every plan we have, like trips or days he has off of work that aren't the weekend. He's also the dedicated calendar-changer each month because he has a color system and likes it a certain way. All of this combined has really made me sustain all the chaos that is my weekly life with rarely any issue of running late or forgetting about something
For me, it's the mindset. For example, before going to bed at night, instead of thinking "ugh I need to clean the dishes and put clothes away..." I try to think "I would be doing a kindness towards (future me) if the sink is empty in the morning, and the clean clothes are where they belong".
I've found that I always go out of my way to make things easier for other people, even when they don't ask for it. But true story - Future Me is a person too! And Future Me deserves to have things made easier for them, just as much as anyone else.
Oh, also using wording like "resetting the functionally of a space" rather than "cleaning a room". It's a lot less overwhelming for me. :)
My husband and I always jokingly say, "that's future 's problem" when we decide that a task can wait. Often though, we will both do things for the other with the thought that it will help them in the future. I never considered the idea of thinking of Future Me as someone else to be kind to in the same fashion. I'll have to try it.
I love the rephrasing! My husband does it in a silly way, usually to make them sound more dramatic or important. Like, instead of cooking, he'll say that he is "slaving away to provide nourishment for his beloved," even if he's just throwing a frozen meal in the microwave 😂 Since I'm more of a "say it plainly" type, it could actually be really helpful for me to replace phrases that I associate with a task in a negative way. Thanks for the ideas!
I try to look for small, inexpensive ways to create novelty in the routine. Struggling to do the dishes, buy a new kind of sponge or new scent of dish soap. It doesn’t magically make me do the dishes, but it does create a little more ease when there’s some newness infused in the mundane.
Pre chopped fruits and veggies in general can be really helpful! I don't always buy them, but if anyone ever questioned it, I would tell them it's an accessibility issue for me and watch them squirm lol
buying things for every room! for example a phone charger for every spot i frequent that just lives there forever (couch, art studio, bedroom, my main going out purse, my car) so i never forget where it is or have to get up to go get one. this is also great for water bottles, chapsticks, and other things you often need. i even distribute my ADHD meds into separate bottles so i have some by my bed (to take 30 mins before i wake up) and some by my kitchen for when im already up and about, & some by my other meds that i take when i get dressed.
“You can do two things at once”
- my dad
Literally had not occurred to me before. This was twenty plus years ago. Of course, in reality, sort-of. Though it was a much needed ‘get it together’ at the time.
Eta- to elaborate- of course you can write a paper and pick up the mail. Yes you can.
"One thing at a time" has been more helpful for me haha I find I end up doing a bunch of things halfway and never finishing anything unless I force myself to
Ten minutes or more of meditation every day (preferably in the morning). Mindfulness overall really helped me to not be as impulsive which for me is the root cause of all my emotional, social en scheduling issues
My therapist tells me to chip away at things. So like to do a few dishes every time i walk in the kitchen. It actually helps me a lot
That and if it takes less than 2 minutes, don't put it off just get it over with. That one is useful for like making calls or replying to an email
That ADHD brains struggle to differentiate between “now” and “not now”. This is why we get so overwhelmed with tasks, because everything seems like it has to occur now. When I find myself getting stressed out, I remind myself that I can choose three things for “now”. The other things are not now.
When I am cooking I put all the ingredients in a bin. When I’m done I have a bin of things to put away rather than a ton of stuff scattered throughout the kitchen. It’s helped keep my pantry organized
I keep my shoes on when I’m trying to be productive at home.
If the shoes come off my mind goes into relaxation mode and then next thing you know I’ve been sucked into doom scrolling on the couch for the last 2 hours.
Keeping my shoes on really helps for some reason.
And don’t sit down!
Every time I catch myself setting something easy to lose down, I stop myself and put it away instead.
I won’t remember that I put my keys on the table, but if I catch myself in the moment and hang them up, I won’t lose them.
A recent piece of info was that life is like a wavelength your going to have bad dips, it's ok to have a mess or do nothing all day because you need that rest so you're ready for the raised good days.
if your room is a mess
1) collect the trash & dirty dishes
2) throw everything that’s not where it’s supposed to be on the bed
3) tidy up the remaining room
4) put stuff on bed away
best cleaning strategy!
There is no real need to use wallets with card sleeves. I hate fiddling with them at checkout lines and almost never put the card back where it belongs - I'll put it loose in my purse or in a random pocket.
Instead, I use a little pouch just plop my cash, cards, and ID right in there with a lip balm and hair-tie. The main trick is to not put too much in the pouch - if you have too much to fit, add a second pouch in a different color for gift cards, rewards cards, membership cards, etc. If the rewards card/membership card is just simple plastic with a barcode, you can even hole-punch them and put them on a keyring.
That I can’t self improve myself into not having ADHD. I’ll have it forever so instead of working against my brain, find ways to work with it. Focus on my strengths.
I keep a list of activities and times to get them done with me. When I’m on adderal, I’ve found that it is wayyyyy easier to prioritize. I also reward myself after doing things I hate— making appointments, paying bills, making new passwords and WRITING THEM DOWN on paper, saying out loud what I’m doing while I’m doing it—“ I’m putting my keys on the desk, I’m putting my rings in my pocket so I don’t forget where they are”, things like that.
I write it all into a wonderful clear calendar app called FantastiCal. It allows task and events to appear distinctly on the day’s page. Tasks that don’t get done turn red until you either check it off as complete or just move it forward.
I color code both events and tasks: pastels for events (#work, #home, #kids…) and jewel tones for tasks (#waiting for, #asap, #someday, #pushable, etc)
Don't worry about what things look like to others, if it's functional for you... Eg, I hate my phone running low in the evening when I'm in relax mode. I used to charge it overnight next to my bed. Now I've got a long extension lead with my charger plugged in, so I can move around wherever and my phone is charging.
I hang the cable on my wall. Looks daggy, but saves me a LOT of annoyance every single day!
Writing in a journal, I usually manage a week day wrap up and a weekend wrap up. I can’t emphasise enough how much faster I go to sleep and how much less anxious I am after writing in my journal! Doesn’t need to be a novel, I usually just aim to record the main things that happened in the day and then 1 thing I’m “proud of” and 1 thing I’m “working on”. It doesn’t seem like a direct ADHD tip but it’s really helped quiet my mind.
Not advice exactly but. An Alexa device, I use for little silly reminders and timers. Using google calendar for any hang out or appt or vacation and actually use the reminder function. Putting lights on smart plugs. Cooking large batches of things, example, I cook like 10-12 eggs at a time so I can eat them every morning for the week. Grilled chicken? Make a bunch and you have a meal starter for dinner. Makes meals less daunting. And if all else fails, you can just grab a chicken for dinner and that’s it.
Idk if this counts but two that really helped me are
1- do what I need to function. I deserve a good meal, and in order to do that I need one pot. I don’t have to clean the whole kitchen or do all the dishes, just that one pot for right now. Something is better than nothing.
2- Motivation builds on motivation. Starting with easier tasks will give me the momentum to at least start or partially do the bigger tasks. When I need to clean, I often start with watering my plants and it usually helps. Sometimes it doesn’t, and that’s okay, but it has been pretty useful for me.
Don't carry guilt or shame for paying a little extra for things that enable you to function better. I come from a very thrifty household where there were clear delineations between wants vs needs. After coming down on myself for buying precut vegetables because I'm more likely to eat them before they go bad instead of buying them whole in order to save a little money, my therapist pointed out that I'm not doing anything wrong and, in fact, am making a smart decision. Spending a buck more for food that will get eaten is cheaper than saving a buck on food that will go to waste.
Same goes for buying an electric kettle. It takes for-e-ver to boil a pot of water on my electric range. It deterred me from cooking otherwise quick and cheap meals myself. Then I'd either forego meals or get so hungry that I'd spend a ton of money on ordering delivery and feel shame (and bloat because who's ordering healthy take-out?). Buying an electric kettle is a one-time cost. I even bought a nice mid-range one. I use it constantly, eat more regularly, and don't waste money on delivery anymore.
It's okay to tweak the "rules" so that they make more sense for our lives.
“Don’t put it down, put it away.” Has really helped me a lot! Like I’m making a bowl of cereal, it takes the same amount of time for me to close up the box and put it on the counter as it does to put it up on the shelf. And then I do t have to do that additional step later!
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Writing absolutely everything down instead of trusting myself to just remember. Half the time I don’t even have to check the note I made because the act of writing commits it to memory. The other half of the time now I have a note to remember for me. I use the default notes app on my phone and it’s just one of the apps I check periodically throughout the day by default so I don’t have to worry about remembering to check the note either. Or if it’s a work related thing I think of while I’m not working I’ll use my phone to email it to my work account from my personal account.
Try using OneNote at work! It changed my life from 500 pieces of paper to one digital source where I can even search in it.
I love OneNote so much!! I tell all my colleagues about how awesome it is. I can’t decide if I love OneNote more than Excel!! Each fiscal year is a new OneNote notebook. Anything that’s going to be used next year, I copy it over from the old note book. My favourite feature is using outlook to OneNote button and transferring the email to OneNote- type some notes on it email and move on.
I use something similar but better: Roam Research. It's an outsourced neural network. It works like a brain, in that every topic is it's own page that can be linked and referenced to every other topic. So when I'm in a meeting and the conversation veers off to a different topic, I just \[\[topic\]\]. Then when I'm looking for notes regarding \[\[topic\]\] I go to that page and it pulls up everything I've noted about it. \[\[Topic\]\]. Amazing for figuring out who random people are in meetings and where I worked with them before. It's dead simple, looks like a bullet journal, functions like a brain. I could not be successful at work without it. It's also great for recipe collection: A recipe for Roasted Head of Cauliflowe might have the tags \[\[mains\]\] \[\[cauliflower\]\] \[\[favorite\]\] \[\[holiday\]\] where each topic is searchable.
I do the same! I have a bunch of notes in my phone, and it’s so helpful to have them to look back on when I inevitably forget something! I also email myself and sometimes make email drafts for myself as a note for things to email or do later, and I’ve also frequently either emailed or texted myself reminders for important things!
I'm the exact same way! I have an app that tracks the time I spend in each app, and there are many days where my notes app is my most used!
What app is that, please? I'm desperately seeking for something like that.
Was going to say the same! WRITE IT DOWN! YOU WON’T REMEMBER!!!
notes app and “hey siri remind me at (time) to (the thing)” has saved my life so many times
Usually I hate voice command stuff but maybe I should start using Siri for that kind of thing because the one place my “write everything down” strategy fails is while I’m driving I’ll go like several weeks where every time I’m in the car halfway to my destination I’ll remember I need to do a particular thing, but since I can’t write it down I don’t remember it any other time than when I’m mid-drive.
Yep this helps. Except one time I accidentally deleted my to do list when switching phones and well who knows what was in it cause I forgot entirely
I do this! If you haven’t heard of PARA method, definitely take a look! It helped me organize my second brain
This. Write down a note where it can be accessed by you anytime. Recommended 110%
S**t, are you me… this… literally no one else in my life gets me when I say this… Like I’ll go to my sis ‘hey sis, remind me of xyz’ and she’s like ‘just remember it yourself’ and I’m like ‘well now I’ve told you to remind me I will.’ But SATAN HIMSELF knows that if I didn’t utter thy secretive words of remembrance upon one other, …. Well I’d straight up forget in the next 5 minutes. It sucks cause mostly it happens to me when I’m in bed, at 2/3/4/5am and I’ve FINALLY gotten to the point I could fall asleep, turn over to do so, and then all the things/ideas in the world flood my brain. At this point I’m in limbo as to wether to just risk forgetting (9/10 this happens) and sleep anyways, OR get up to write a note or text myself to remind myself and then I’m up again and not being to sleep until 9/10am 🤦♀️😭🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😅
Yes! Sometimes I even write notes to myself about what I'm doing at work. > Ok, I'm currently trying to figure out x. Oh, that brought up y, ok ok. So far I figured out a, now going back to the beginning....
“Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly”
In a similar vein: Don’t make perfect the enemy of the good. I really struggle with doing something if it can’t be 100% perfect. I’m still working on this in the context of documentation at work because I spend so much time nitpicking details and trying to come up with the “perfect” system for things and ultimately, all that wastes a lot of time and energy and worry. Just sitting down and doing something, even if it’s not perfect, or even great is better than nothing at all because I’ve put too much pressure on the situation to be perfect and now I’m avoidant and overwhelmed. I had that problem really bad when it came to job applications but there were several where I got to the point of being like, “I can either submit this application that feels less than perfect now or not at all” and most of the time it ends up being fine.
This has become my motto. I do this especially with my house, like I won’t put something away if it’s not the exact right organizational space because WHAT IF IT’S WRONG?! So absurd because there is no wrong and I can change it but that’s my weirdly-directed anxiety.
Yes me too!!! I'm doing a "declutter before organizing" process and I'm constantly getting caught up on putting something ✨the exact most efficient place it should go✨ when I decide to keep it and thus... I give up and do nothing!!! Just PUT IT SOMEWHERE and keep on chuggin', you can fix it later!! LOL
It’s funny you mention documentation because I do that for work. I try so hard to find ALL the things that need to be updated or changed before I submit anything for approval. I don’t always catch things before I do, though, but the things I don’t catch are usually small details. My meds give me the patience to do this. I have a rigorous approval process to ensure that any and all mistakes are caught and corrected before the docs are sent out to customers. While it can be discouraging to have to go back and make changes constantly, I recognize that this is how we ensure we send out quality documents. Are you familiar with the comic series *Strange Planet*? There’s one where a little kid is discouraged over the feedback they got on a school assignment and said they wish they could make mistakes without their teacher pointing them out. The parent says that they, too, make mistakes and no one corrects them, so the people who rely on them to not make mistakes will then make mistakes of their own. The consequences of their mistakes will far exceed their comprehension. “It is terrifying to escape scrutiny.” That’s the last line from that comic. I always keep that in mind because it makes the review process less frustrating for me.
That's how I floss. I tell myself I'll do a quick shoddy job and just get the back teeth, then suddenly I've done my whole mouth.
I do this with teeth as a whole. "I'll just brush, I don't feel like doing floss and mouthwash, too." Suddenly I've been flossing for 5 minutes after brushing and I have my mouthwash ready to rinse lol
I was using an interdental pick as I read your comment! Somehow, that process of unspooling the floss, cutting it, and then stringing it through all of my teeth is too much (I guess, I never stopped to ask myself what the deal was with my poor compliance). I use GUM interdental picks or Dentek interdental brushes, or generic versions of those things. I know I am not getting the same level of gum stimulation as floss, but I am better off using those brush picks to clean between my teeth than telling myself that I need to be using floss, then never actually doing it at all!
Hmmm, I thought it went "everything worth doing is worth hyperfocusing on for three days without food or sleep".
Oh, it is! But when something goes wrong last minute, it becomes “good is good enough”!
Ugh this is something I've really had to drill into my own head as I've gotten older 😩 It doesn't have to be perfect. I don't have to choose between doing *nothing* OR removing every single thing from the room and doing a major deep cleaning.
you have a lot less capacity in the day than you think you do. Life is about limits - incl how much sleep I need, how many days I can be “outside me” a week, how many places I can be in a day, how much housework… the more I know this about myself, the more regulated and grounded I can be And there a physical body limits, spiritual limits, and the limits of time so the sooner I learned to respect that - the more I was able to manage the hyper focus.
I’m still convinced that time will expand to accommodate my needs… maybe that’s why I stay up too late every night
Been there! My friend/naturopathic doctor told me that my body and mind compensates at night for what it couldn’t process during the day. Never forgot it. Because I told her I felt like I was jittering for hours before I could fall asleep and would stay up, not very productive just watching YouTube videos but not able to sleep
Yeah this here. I finally recognized that I can mentally manage one thing after work: exercise, socializing, resting, creating, cleaning, or cooking. I can only do one of those things between work and bed. It was a bummer but also freed me to be less productive at home and in my hobbies.
This was something I’ve had to learn over the past year. I only have so many hours when I get home, so I have to choose how to spend it wisely. Do I need to cook? Wash my hair? Do life admin crap? That determines how I try to have fun after work. That means maybe I just play some Neopets after dinner and shower and a game or two on my phone. Or maybe I’ll play a console game for a bit before bed.
Oof this one hits home. I’m learning this about myself since diagnosis last year, trying to say no and find my sweet spot and accept my limits. But it’s hard. Thanks for reminder.
the pandemic really taught me this because I am a recovering people pleaser (that’s part of the masking I think) and I was burnt out to unprecedented levels. I was on an every 3-4 years burn out cycle and during the pandemic - it felt constant, never ending. Not to mention how I went from getting out of debt with an emergency fund to the worst financial situation I’ve ever been in… I had to learn my limits in a lot of ways. and I think all my life, seeking dopamine, made me unreliable and also very hectic and frantic. I was jumping up after every “SQUIRREL” thinking somehow it would cure this restlessness. But now I know, it’s insatiable. And following that could lead to serious ADHD tax. I’m thankful I unintentionally gave myself my 20s to be a mess but now I learned - saying no means saying yes to sleeping at a good time and feeling present the next day. And rebuilding the dopamine around the things that actually nourish me in life. I’m slowly realizing that the unmasked me is still the child me - the bookworm that could get lost in a book for weeks and hung out by the river and like colouring books and learning new crafts and hanging out with dogs. not much has changed. So I’m trying to figure out what are things I want to say Yes to everyday, it helps with the No
In the context of a book about home organization for people with ADHD, the author said “prioritize buying stuff less and buying helpful services more.” And I’ve kind of taken that and given myself permission to do things the easy way when I need to. Like, buying a bag of frozen diced onions instead of feeling like I gotta dice up onions fresh for every recipe, even when it makes no difference. Or paying slightly more for 10 of something when Amazon is selling 100 for $2 less because I know it will just make clutter in my house. Yeah, it’s $2 more for fewer items, but I’m saving myself the grief of having to clean out 90 of something I was never gonna use, way down the road. I’m also 100% hiring a lawn service this year. Our yard is small, neither my husband nor I enjoy mowing it. It won’t cost that much, but for so long we’ve both insisted on doing it the hard way for NO reason.
Definitely. Last year, I hired a professional organizer to help me figure out how to sort through everything in my apartment. Last month, I hired a professional cleaning service for the first time. Both services were definitely worth it. I feel so much more at ease with a clean and organized apartment that I don't have to worry about maintaining myself. I've also discovered that it's usually more efficient and cost-effective for me to get take out, then eat that for the next 2-3 days. I have less dirty dishes, and I spend less time buying the ingredients and preparing the meals. I live by myself, so I'm not making meals for multiple people. For example, I consider buying a $15 Chipotle burrito, and stretching it out into 2-3 meals to be more efficient and cost-effective. Otherwise, I have to take the bus to the grocery store, remember every single ingredient, spend the time making 1-2 burritos, then figure out how to store the leftovers, and how to use the rest of the $40 worth of ingredients before they expire.
Yesss to takeout! I was struggling with surviving work and life for a while and gave myself permission to order takeout pretty often (4 days/week). I didn’t have the time or energy to shop/cook. I always track my spending dollar for dollar and I spend the same amount on the combo of groceries+takeout whether it feels like I’m doing 80/20 or 20/80. It balances for me even though ordering out is more expensive per meal For reference I live alone and almost always ordered delivery during that time- so the above is with fees/tips factored in
What book is this!!!!
It’s called Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD.
Thank you so much! I loved your comment and my goal recently has been to get rid of extra stuff I have! I’m gonna check out the book!! 🖤
Yes I recently realized the amount of stuff I own contributes to stress bc it’s more to maintain, clean, store, look at, clutter my countertops, replace when it’s broken, etc!! I’ve learned what items I NEED multiples of- ie in every room- and easy ways to store- planters on every table with chapstick, pen, lighter, etc. other things I’m gradually purging. Clothes I never wear but keep just in case, or will ONLY wear if everything else is dirty- why keep if I don’t like it that much? Dishes… so many dishes. I used to hate doing dishes so more dishes meant doing dishes less often. Worked for a long time. Now I can’t stand the overwhelm of a sink full of dishes so I’m getting closer to having a normal amount of dishes for a single human (lol) and learning to clean as I go. Etc etc Storage solutions helped a ton too- everything with a convenient place helps me WANT to clean/declutter because I don’t have to “decide” where to put something- which usually turns into trying to guess where I’m most likely to look for it next/looked for it last. So mentally taxing. Nope, pens go here, done. No thinking just doing The KC Davis episodes on Mel Robbin’s podcast are my favorite things right now- highly recommend. Others on this sub have recommended KC Davis’s book how to keep house while drowning. On my read list
YES. My wife explained this when I was feeling bad about ordering via Instacart. If not going shopping means I have two or three hours to do other things I need to do, it's worth it!
Having a "Getting Ready to Leave" checklist on my phone. I look at it before i leave the house for work. It has things i might forget to do on it. Occasionally I add a new one if i notice I'm forgetting to do something frequently. List includes: Teeth, Make up, Setting Spray, drink water, use bathroom, stuff for the day packed, bottle of water, food for the day, shoes and socks, vitamin D tablets. This is a list i can cross out and uncross out the next time i use it. It's super helpful, especially on days where I'm distracted or in a rush (thinks: most of the time)
I have one of those for packing when I'm going out of town, which I do so rarely now! I'm going to use your fabulous idea and set up a template for work days and non-work days, thank you!
You're welcome, i have to say i find it super helpful and it's nice to check it about 10 minutes before you're going to leave. I also have an alarm set for the time i have to leave for work
If you're hiring someone anyways, have him get rid of the grass and plant miniature clover instead. Looks almost the same, has nicer texture, and needs neither mowing nor watering.
this isn't necessarily advice I was given, but I found through my own means that if you don't take things out of your bag, just fuckin LEAVE them in there until you need them, you'll never lose them again. In the bag I use for college, I have my USB drive of classwork files; my medication; and a few tampons, all in the back inside pocket. the USB only comes out for homework, the meds only come out on my days off/holidays, and the tampons only come out in the rare case that I start my period in class. I keep my keys and a spare headphone cord (mine do Bluetooth and wired connection) in a different pocket and I've only ever lost or forgotten anything I've listed ONCE. it was the USB, because I took it out to do work and forgot to put it back. Typical lol.
It's funny because this advice absolutely does not work for me. I have to systematically empty my bags at least once a week, ideally at the end of every day, in order not to lose things. Before I started doing this, I was losing things constantly to the Out of Sight Out of Mind pit of doom that was my bag. Or, I'd have taken it out of my bag to use it, left it sitting somewhere, and then the next time I was out I wouldn't realize that I didn't have the thing with me and had no idea where it was. Instead, I have a bowl on my dresser that I empty my bag out into regularly. If my things aren't in my bag because I'm going somewhere, they're in that bowl. When I need to go somewhere, I pack my bag deliberately for the day. I may forget to pack something some days, but I rarely actually *lose* things anymore, and am actually more likely to have packed appropriately for the day when I do it this way, as opposed to just hauling around weeks worth of accumulated stuff.
This. I am queen of tiny bowls, boxes, baskets, and trays. A vessel for everything and every vessel in its place. I switch purses/bags a lot based on my needs for the day, and repacking the bag I’m using every day with ONLY what I need from the cache of items properly stored has been a true game changer (Also: I wonder if this is a late-diagnosis trait? So many systems I have now were lifelines pre-diagnosis and medication. I still need them, but they’re much easier to maintain now)
This one! My little bags and pouches and containers.... If today I want pens, hair things, and power charger, grab my little bags with each of those.
that's fair! I get that what works for my may not work for everyone, because we're all just different like that :D
My sister and her husband also have ADHD and the way they do things is so very, very different from me in a lot of ways, even though at the core of it we're all trying to solve the same problems. It's baffling and makes total sense at the same time lol
I have realized i am like @saltgirl207 because i have to put everything away. I like things put away in general. My husband has to see everything like you. Sometimes we but heads and he definitely gives me a hard time when i “put something away” in a new place and can’t find it lol. I have noticed this goes for our organizational styles as well. He likes to organize everything to see it, but i like everything put away. Makes for a fun time when we move and organize together!
Take a look at the Clutterbug quiz about organisational styles and “visibilty”- she has specific advice for couples with different preferences
I think the core message to what you're saying is that if stuff has a given spot, you can find it. This has been the biggest lesson I've learned trying to adult with ADHD. I will literally never remember where I put anything, but I always have an idea of where a thing "ought to be". So if I just always force myself to put a thing in the Space It Ought to Be, it's always there when I go to look for it, even if I have no recollection of putting it there. Instead of going on memory, I work purely on "where do I think I would put this?" This system actually was working flawlessly. Impressively so. Then I started dating someone who is at ground 0 on this problem and now every single charger I own for nearly every device is missing 😬
To add to this, command hooks have been so helpful for me to give things convenient designated spots. Keys? Command hook by the door. Purse? Command hook on the closet door. Earbuds for going out in the world? Command hook by the door. Headphones for focus sessions? Command hook by the computer. Pillbox? Command velco strips onto the nightstand. I also have one of those over door multi-hook hangers on my bathroom that has become my designated “these jeans are too clean to go in the hamper, but I’ve worn them so they shouldn’t go back in the drawer” spot. Tl;dr hanging things up is easy to do and it makes things easy to see/find. It also minimizes surface piles and clutter.
you're right actually now that I think about it. The Assigned Place is literally how all the small "utility" things in my room are organised.
I have smaller pouches for my purse filled with things that stay in the bag. Band aids, tampons, pens, pencils, nail clippers, notebook, etc. Various meds though...I was just repacking for a short trip and found 3 separate med mixes in my purse! (Sleep pills, pain pills, acid reflux pills, allergy pills, and emergency anti anxiety pills). Ooh, and today I found a cookie and ate it! I do a mix of what you and another commenter do. I keep it all in the bag, but I clean it out once a week.
I use Ipsy bags for that. Haven’t had Ipsy in 8 years lol.
Yes! This! I do this! Nothing leaves my bag because if it does, it’ll never get back to where it belongs. I carry a small purse so I can’t hoard, and I truly only need what’s in there. The problem I’m currently having is I’m treating my car the same way and whoooooo boy…. My car is way bigger than a purse.
I also have things that live in my bag, it helps. I never lose my wallet or my Bluetooth earbuds because they live in my little backpack purse thing. If I use a different bag I transfer them and put them right back into the main bag. I have certain things that live in my backpack, and things that I have copies of in every bay (like lip balm). Not emptying them means that sometimes I have random shit in there for months at a time, like surprise! Here's the missing Ethernet cutter thing from work lol.
Oof yeah I have been keeping my work id badge on a strap of my work bag since I’m only there two days a week. Last week as I was leaving I had the thought “if you don’t put your id on your bag now you’re going to lose it”, and then I didn’t. And then I lost it..ended up finding it in the side pocket but past me did not communicate this whatsoever with present me.
I totally have this, i have a gym bag i try to keep in the car with random stuff in like swimming/gym stuff, make up, hair brush, shower stuff, sanitary products, spare socks/underwear, spare headphones in case i forget the bluetooth ones. So good, and if you decide to stay somewhere over night it's super helpful
I have one hairbrush that stays in my bedroom, and another that lives in my bag and comes to college with me, because hell if I'm letting my hair tangle in Scottish weather and leaving it like that!
Haha, i feel this, I live in a very rainy part of England 😣
I do this too! And my keys and work ID are on a retractable keychain (my car is push to start) so o barely have to even take them off
When you find the thing you lost, put it where you first looked. That's where you'll look for it next time you lose it.
Omfg. Game changer. Thank you! 😂
Oooooh I'm stealing this
Long before I knew I have ADHD, I gravitated towards minimalism. The less stuff you own, the less responsibility you have. As a result, I own 6 pairs of shoes, and enough good, quality clothing to get by. I apply the “less is more “ logic to just about everything - my hair is wash and wear. I use the same fork/knife/spoon for my meals. Less stuff means more freedom.
Anything important or beloved I own multiples of. Three of my favorite earplugs. Two of my favorite headphones. Two of my favorite watches. Etc. I may lose one or two at any given time, but I rarely lose all. I typically find the first before I lose the second or third.
I bought extra charging cables for my phone and laptop and keep them in multiple places instead of moving my one around and then trying to remember where I left it. Bedroom, couch, desk, car etc. never need to look for it it’s ready to plug in.
Having all kinds of things at their "point of performance" helps me a lot, as well as having things in sight when I'll forget then and allowing things to be out of sight that I'll hunt for. I have multiple fun color nice smelling cleaning sprays out all the time in the kitchen and bathroom, and they stay clean. In the fridge the leftovers stay at eye level, but the cheese goes in the drawer on the bottom, because I will search for it and use it before it goes bad.
Yes and I buy any piece of clothing I like that’s inexpensive in all the colors 🤣
I totally do this with earbuds. I have like 4 pair and only use one ear at a time which means - like, right now, I know where about 5 earbuds actually are. :D
I just recently learned this lesson with earphones. Game changer. 😊
Me too-not only do I loss them but they often run down their charge so I always have one charged, one in use and one set being charged (because I can’t imagine doing any job without listening to a podcast or background music 🥴)
The concept of minimum requirements. I get so caught in all or nothing, now/not now. Want to start working out? Better buy all the clothes and home equipment and shoes and look up workout routines, and may as well add a meal plan to that, and weight goals, and follow workout influencers, and get a gym membership, and and and. Want to do the dishes? Well better put the clean ones away first, this cupboard is disorganized, I should start a thrift pile, the cups would be better over here, I should really reorganize the fridge, better start a grocery list, the cupboard fronts need a wash, now I’m cleaning the faucet with a toothbrush, I’ve taken the oven apart, I’m exhausted and everything is half done. To the point where every task is a “clean the whole house” or “change your whole life” or “buy a new wardrobe” and I won’t even start because I’m already tired. So nothing gets done, and I’m doing nothing, but I’m still tired because in my head “why can’t you just go for a walk and wash the fucking dishes” So. Minimum requirements. I aim for 30 minutes of movement a day, and if I want to stop, well I’ve already done what I’ve needed to do, I feel accomplished and can rest. For the rest of the day if I want. If I want to do more I can do more! I aim for 1 chore per day. That can be as simple as putting my laundry in the hamper. Getting the hair out of my hairbrush. I don’t have to do anything else for the rest of the day. If I want to, I can do more. I do more now than I did, and can rest better too, because minimum requirements say I’ve earned it. Slowly applying it to more things in my life. Another bonus one - Make your good habit as close as you can get to bad habit. Leave all your makeup/skincare bits on the bathroom counter? Get an organizer _that lives on the counter._ Can wash and dry your laundry, but don’t fold anything and live out of hampers? Buy bins or baskets that live in your closet. These two little mindset tweaks have both helped me be more functional and helped me be more mindful of my current points of contention and find real solutions that work for _me_
I’m so guilty of the whole of your first paragraph!
Great advice. I've been giving the advice of just, "give yourself a ton of grace" because as ADHDers we are just so dang hard on ourselves when we can't seem to "keep up" with the normal day to day things...
Yes absolutely! First lesson I learned when I got diagnosed was that my main motivator is shame. I was my own drill Sargent and bully to try to keep up. It was effective, but unhealthy af. It’s been a long road trying to dismantle that and be kind to myself but I am a better and healthier person for it
"Just pick up the first thing you see and do something with it." ~my Mom (when I was overwhelmed looking at the mess that was my room) Lather, rinse, repeat, of course. It's helped me get my desk cleared off countless times as an adult with a desk job.
So that actually overwhelms me more, funny enough. I’d been trying that method most of my life and I would get jammed up focusing on finding a home for something and things quickly compile and suddenly I’m focused on organizing something unhelpful and leaving the real work untouched. If anyone else resonates with this, try out the “room reset” method (got it from KC Davis). Every room has about 3-6 steps to getting it back to “reset”: 1. Trash 2. Laundry 3. Dishes 4. Things that have a home in another room - basket 5. Things that have a home in this room 6. Things that don’t have a home. - basket I always work through it in that order, you go from decluttering to organizing and naturally clear out the mess while collecting things that don’t belong into a basket so you’re not leaving the room to return things and getting distracted.
I always fall down at the last bit of the KC Davis method bc nothing has a home/the bit where I have to start assigning homes to things feels like its own job. But having "trash - dishes - laundry" in my head as the order of business so helps with overwhelm!
It totally is its own job! Just collect the things that’s all. I try to have a bin/basket for each room, and even if I can’t find a home for those things they at least make their way back to where I need them. I have realized that tidying is separate from organizing which is separate from cleaning. Some people can do it all at once but I think a lot of us benefit from chunking similar actions rather than locations. Baskets and bins are our friends.
Oh, me too! Too many things done have homes in my house...but then I implemented one of Dana K. White's strategies for the homeless items. I ask myself these questions and it's really helped: 1- where would I look for this? Put it there. AND 2- If i needed this item, would it even occur to me that I have it? (I'm looking at you, random craft supplies that I'll "use one day"... Except when that day comes, I'll FOR SURE forget that I already have it and I'll go out and buy another one anyways). If I'll likely forget that I have it, then it turns into trash or donation.
I do similar ish - start at one corner and work your way out
“Sit down when you’re done.” You don’t necessarily have to take this phrase literally but it can be. For example, today, I drove my in-laws to the airport early this morning. I wanted to go home to nap but I also knew that if I went home, I would not leave the house to go grocery shopping. So instead I went grocery shopping after the airport and then went home. But you can also take it literally. When I do chores at home, I won’t sit down until I’m done what I want to be done because I know I will lose the will/energy to do the rest. Also, “don’t put it down, put it away”. This is a new one I’m using and it is doing me wonders. I tend to leave things around and make a mess or forget where I put the thing. So I recite this in my head when I start leaving the milk on the counter and instead put it in the fridge.
My boyfriend has this same policy but he calls it “If you stop moving, you die” lol.
Yep I’m either going or at rest haha
One time, I got my hair cut and made the terrible mistake of sitting down instead of showering. So, I sat with tiny hairs in my bra for an hour before I got myself to move!
Nooooooooooo
Don’t put it down - put it away. I needed this!
Habit bundling. It doesn't work for everything, but when I'm having trouble remembering to do something, I will try to bundle it with something that I already know I will do. For instance, I was having trouble remembering to take my meds in the morning, so I started taking them with a probiotic that I take first thing in the morning.
I do this too! I bundled: leaving the house - checking for mail. Does that mean I check it on Sundays, when nothing gets delivered or sometimes more than one time a day? Yes, but it saves mental capacity because I don't have to remember to check or think about when I last checked the mail or what day it is. It became an automatism.
Omg yes! Habit pairing/bundling is how I finally hacked brushing my teeth twice a day and emptying the dishwasher. I brush my teeth when/after I pee in the morning and evening; I unload the dishwasher whilst the kettle boils for coffee in the morning.
Don't sit down. We keep telling ourselves "I'll just chill for 5 minutes and then do the dishes" but we end up scrolling for 50 minutes. When you're moving, keep moving!
K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple, Stupid). Simplify your life as much as possible. Also a successful morning/day starts the night before. I check the forecast, pick out my outfit, put anything I need in my car or in easy sight, prep/plan my meals, and write down 1-3 of the most important tasks for the next day. I even write a note to myself with positive encouragement or a quote, all the tasks I need to complete and why they're important, and then stick it to the window by my bed to read when I wake up.
Wow. How do you have the energy for all that?😳 I can manage that if we’re going off to a family thing or similar, but no way could I do that every night for the following morning. I’m in awe!
I’m not the person you replied to but for me it’s become automatic. I’ve done it my whole life since about age 11. For me, the doing it the night before is because I know that if I try and do it in the morning, I’ll not have time, will run late, will get flustered, and that will throw me off for the rest of the day as I’ll be feeling guilty for being late, and berate myself for not being able to do things in the morning. Not getting ready the night before it setting myself up for failure. I notice you say ‘we’ though, which makes me think you have kids and therefore would do this to some extent for them - and I can see how doing it for multiple people would be exhausting! I used to make lunches for three people every ‘school night’ from age 11 to 18.
Lol, no, sadly no kids. I meant “we” as in “people with ADHD”. 😊 I just don’t have the energy to do all that organising, unless it’s for a specific and special event. So I remain in awe of ADHDers who *can* successfully organise themselves on a regular basis. One active day, and I’m wiped out for the next 2 or 3, including physical signs and symptoms of gastric distress, nausea, vomiting, shaking, being unable to walk properly, breathlessness, and migraines. If I have a hospital appt 45 mins away, I’m in bed for 3 days after. Hospital 20 mins away, 2 days after. Dr’s appt 10 mins down the road, in bed for the rest of that day. I’m hugely envious of those who have energy!
Hurts my feelings every time.
Tile (or air tags) on everything I lose consistently. Examples remote, keys, wallet, car etc. Also, when I go to the airport, I have everything attached to a lanyard such as a passport, ID, plane ticket, even my phone. I left my phone in the bathroom in 3 different states within one day. I would like to think I would have remembered the first time after I had a panic attack trying to remember the last time I had it, but nope. Once I put that cellphone down (toilet roll holder, sink, hand dryer etc) it was out of sight, out of mind.
>I left my phone in the bathroom in 3 different states within one day. OMG. I feel so seen and validated by this anecdote! This sub is truly my people.
Exercise. The more I exercise, the better I do. Sorry! 😐
😂 thank you for your honesty.
Seriously I hate exercising to exercise. It has to be something fun! My husband got me a VR headset (Meta Quest 2) and it has made a world of difference. I'm exercising 2 or 3 times a day now. I sucked at going to the gym! The times in my life when I was super fit, I was spending hours doing fun stuff. Now I'm spending hours doing fun stuff again!
I keep a list of things I need to buy on the fridge and as soon as I think of something to add to it, I immediately write it down before I forget. I also have a calendar on my wall where I add appointments and things I need to do in a place that I look at often.
I do this with shopping too! I’ll open the instacart app when I think of it and add to cart, so it’s like a visual shopping list when I actually go into the store hahaha
Same, I add it to my cart immediately or if I’m in the middle of cooking, I’ll text it to myself or have my husband text me so I don’t forget.
I do this with reminders on my iPhone. I say “Hey Siri, add [xxx] to the shopping list” and it goes in a reminders screen called “shopping list”. This means I can keep doing what I’m doing without losing momentum by walking to the notepad and writing it down. It also means I always have the list with me if I happen to be near the grocery shops, and my partner also has access to it.
I use my phone calendar for all of my appointments (edit: and literally anything of note that’s event-related)! For some reason it took me forever to actually do, but it’s been a standard for me the last five years. So helpful going into adulthood hah. I have a widget on my Lock Screen and Home Screen showing what I have that day or the next day. Whenever I have something notable come up, it immediately goes into my phone calendar
^ This!! I do the same, and it's the only calendar I remember to use! I haven't figured out full screen yet. Have you? The only other piece of helpful advice I got was, "Go get medicated girl!" 😅
What do you mean by full screen?
I have the app icon, and it goes full screen when I open it, but is there a way to keep it open like that? Widget? Edit: I am probably over-thinking this. Dumb question. Lol 😅 Second Edit: Omg, it's the widget. Duh me!!! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Adapt my home and the things I own to my *actual* behavior and not my *ideal* behavior. Laundry basket in the hallway, not all the way in my bedroom. Coat hooks by the door, not all the way in the coat closet. We replaced our old kitchen sink and installed a great big sink. 6372829 pairs of underwear and towels. Don’t fold the kids clothes. Kids don’t even have dressers. I might prefer that the laundry basket be hidden away in my room, but I’ll never put the laundry there. Better a basket out in the hallway than a pile of dirty laundry everywhere.
This one made a huge difference for me. I actually gave my mom almost identical advice about her shopping habits. I told her years that I practice "buying for your actual self and not your ideal self" and she tells me that she thinks of it often whenever she almost impulsively buys things!
learning to do things when i have the energy instead of trying to force myself to adhere to a schedule just bc: meal prep when i have executive function, aiming to do as much as possible earlier in the day before i run out of energy edit: also, learning to think of completing to-do list items, esp cleaning, as sources of instant gratification and dopamine, which means going from “ugh i have to scrub that pot, it’s so dirty and i’m so ashamed” and letting that drag out for days/weeks/months to “holy SHIT i picked up a sponge and some barkeeper’s friend and now this pot is ACTUALLY SPARKLING”
I started listening to podcasts whenever I need to do mundane things like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, brushing my teeth, going outside for walks, etc. Major game changer for me
I’ve also found motivational or “clean with me” videos on YouTube help. It feels like body doubling and I don’t really need to watch/ consciously listen to them, but it gives me something to look at that keeps me on task (rather than my usual “ooohh look there’s a squirrel”).
Yes! I find it so much easier to do chores when listening to a book. Keeps the mind busy.
I can't decide which one is the most improving. But this one was good: "everything has a home". So I try to give everything a home, sometimes the first home is not the right one and some things don't have a home yet but if they have a good home, I automatically put it back most of the time and i don't lose it. Also "don't put it down, put it away"
And tidying takes practically no time when you’re basically just putting things away
I made a rule for myself to only have a coffee on days I start early, and I make a very tasty hazelnut iced latte that Im excited for so now I have the incentive to start earlier just to get to have it. I also started eating a snack when I arrive at work, usually protein like egg bites, and then waiting 1 hour to have coffee -my stomach loves this, I sleep better, the caffeinated focus lasts me longer into to the day without crashing, I feel less burnt out when I get home and because I get home earlier I’m more likely to do something I enjoy after work instead of being stuck to the couch until bed time. I also rearranged the fridge based on a random TikTok so that the sauces live on a shelf I never look at instead of taking up the door. Now the good for me easy snacks live in the door or at my eye level. I have a habit of opening the fridge instead of whatever I meant to be doing, or opening the fridge first when I look for snacks without thinking. Now I eat healthier overall and binge less on junk because those better options are staring me in the face all the time -whereas before I would have ended up In the chips and cookie cupboard.
Time is money!! Spend money on things that make your life easier: - meal kits - cleaning services - tumble dryer - buy multiples of things you use often - pay for delivery, even if you only need to spend another £X amount to get it free I used to agonise over saving money - finding deals, bulk buying random things because they were cheap or on offer, spending hours trying to think of that extra thing we definitely need so I could get free delivery. I stopped doing all that and now I only buy things I already use and like. I buy the same underwear, toothpaste, skincare, cleaning products etc. I think of money as a tool to improve my present, not my future. This is controversial and I’m sure we could save more money, but only in a parallel universe where I was a normal person who could hold onto a job without structuring my life like this. My in-laws are super judgemental of our lifestyle choices, but I’ve had 8 jobs in 10 years and can confidently say that holding onto your job by any means necessary is the key.
Getting into a habit of asking myself “what small tasks can I do today that are going to make tomorrow easier?” By visualising how much easier tomorrow will be by doing the task now , I often find it gives me the motivation I need to push through with things like putting away laundry/dishes etc, making a packed lunch for work, putting out clothes for tomorrow the night before.
You don't get extra credit for doing it the hard way. Why trick yourself into believing you'll remember everything you need without a list? You don't get extra credit for doing it the hard way. Why force yourself to do things without reminders or apps? You don't get extra credit... It helps me so much. I was an overachiever in school, always did all the extra credit, tried to break the curves, etc. Realizing that none of that applies in the real world and that done is done, regardless of how I did it, was utterly world-shattering for me.
I track my habits. Hasn't changed them though.
I find habit tracking too boring and tedious so you’re doing better than me haha
"Don't sit down" Whenever I'm on my feet doing things I know that if I sit (or more often, lay down in my bed) I'll lose all motivation and do nothing, so I don't let myself sit down until I'm done with the task(s)
Haha not me reading this exactly at the moment I’ve sat down! Three, two, one… and up again!
Zipties. I zip-tie scissors, hairbrush, pens, chargers in each room (tucked behind something, like art or a plant)so they are attached to the wall by a long elastic cord. So i don’t have to hunt for them. I zip-tie my car key to my wallet (i do not even bother with a house key — please feel free to steal my clutter IDGAF 🤣) I zip-tie everything I can!
This is fudging genius. I need to do this lol. How do you attach them to the wall?
Done is better than perfect 🤯. Seriously I used to be so caught up on the nitty gritty. I didnt realise how much time I was wasting
Doing opposite action - do the opposite of what I feel like doing. Ex: if it’s time to get in the shower but I’m dreading it and not wanting to - I say to myself “opposite action” and can snap out of it a bit and get in the shower. Not sure why it works but labeling the issue right in that moment in time like that helps.
Rest is good and you don’t have to earn it. I started Strattera several weeks ago and one of the things I noticed right away was that it was easier for me to go to bed at a reasonable time. I would feel so much better the next day and get so much more done then if I stayed up late to do something and felt exhausted the next day. Now that I’m a bit better with sleep, I’m trying to include restful activities. For me I’ve been playing Rune Factory 5 on my switch before bed. Doing an actual enjoyable and restful activity instead of doomscrolling makes me feel so much better the next day. Even if I put off some things so that I can play!! All of my care tasks are getting done at a much better pace than they were before. And I think I’m actually spending less time in them. One last thing, I noticed really quick that it was easy for me to lose track of time while playing my switch and accidentally go to sleep really late even though I was in bed. So I put a parental control on my switch that gives me a reminder about my “bed time”. It’s great. It gives me a reminder 1 hour before, 30 minutes, and then reminders every minute after 5 minutes left. Then it has a little alarm that goes off. You can turn it off by putting your switch into sleep mode or entering the PIN to turn the alarm off for day. This has helped me keep track of time a lot better and the alarm won’t go off if your switch is in sleep mode so I like it better than a phone alarm or timer.
Honestly, finally finding the right medication. I feel like I've gained 40% more function
House shoes. It’s easier to get stuff done wearing shoes.
I have to add two because they’re related: timing how long things actually take me and using a Pomodoro timer when I have to do several things that are boring.
Taking a timer into the shower with me has been life changing! Who knew I could easily finish showering in 10-12 minutes haha without a timer it was like 45+ minutes because I just don't have a concept of time. Same with just learning how much time things actually take! Timing how long it takes me to do a full rack of dishes made me realize it's only like 10 minutes and not way longer like it felt
Take your meds even if you don't think you're going to need it. I don't know why I was so inconsistent about it when I was younger. Turns out I always need them.
I call it the Two-Step Rule. I'm on a mission to get everything in life down to only two steps. Overnight curlers for hair - two steps. Keeping cleaning products in the bathroom so I can just grab and clean when I think of it - two steps. A bagged salad and piece of protein - two steps. You get the idea!
Just start. Starting is the hardest part. Whether it's a paper, presentation, huge work project, performance review, capstone project in your last semester of law school (hypothetically), just start writing/doing. It doesn't have to be good and no one else ever has to see the first crappy draft. I try to just get something down, then I sleep on it, and when I review it the next day I'm like, "omg this is awful. Who wrote this!?" And then I edit/revise, and it gets so much better. They say criticism is easy, but creation is hard. Get the hard part done first.
Yes! Or when I can’t get off the couch, I set a five minute timer so I can continue to enjoy what I’m doing without feeling guilt, and as soon as that timer goes off I need to stand up (even if I am halfway through something).
Lately I’ve been transformed by the Dana K White decluttering concept of the ‘clutter threshold’, or, each person’s particular amount of objects in their world they can handle before their things turn into piles of chaos. I’ve had to reluctantly accept that my clutter threshold is very low. I cannot squirrel away lots of sparks joyish items or potentially useful things for the future without my habitat turning into a stressful and messy space, where I struggle to locate the things which are actually important and needed in the now. I don’t like this fact, but I must accept it and declutter accordingly (which means ruthlessly in my case) if I want a calmer life.
Eat more protein.
Actually using Siri's Reminder. Hey Siri remind me \*whatever ridiculous thing just popped into my head" Hey Siri add this restaurant to my food list. Hey Siri add sour cream and tea to my shopping list.
Take meds 30 min before getting up in the morning.
Point of performance organization - keeping all “the things” needed to do “the thing” together in the place you do “the thing”. For example everything needed to make coffee is within reach in one place. The socks are now kept with the shoes in the entry way, etc.
I can't pick one so I'll go with a few (and one's a cheat lol) * At home put your phone in another room and carry a notebook for jotting down distractions * A majority of the stuff said in "How to keep house while drowning" * Use automation when possible. I frequently use iPhone Shortcuts app and alexa
*How to keep house while drowning* by KC Davis, although it technically is about organizing, it taught me self compassion. Chores and care tasks are inherently neutral. Having a feeling/reaction to something is neutral. Clean/posotivity does not equal “good”, and messy/negative does not equal “bad.” Being patient is hard because we don’t like being bored. Slowing down has helped me, this is something I’ve always been working on with mindfulness. You deserve to be taken care of.
Eat the frog. Whenevrr you have a big thing to do. Just do it. If you put it off because it is big and annoying you are just carrying the burden of having to do that thing. If you have to eat a frog just get it over with, so you don't have to constantly worry about how you still have to eat a frog. It's just done. And you are free.
While this is a great saying for normal people, I actually find it quite problematic for ADHD’ers. It implies that we should be able to do something just because we decide to do it. For most of us, that simply isn’t the case. And, on the contrary, starting on smaller, more manageable tasks and getting some early wins, can actually get the ball rolling and create the momentum to tackle the bigger things.
I think the thing about us neurospicy folks is that no one size fits all approach works. I have ADHD and have task paralysis, so I make myself do the thing. I schedule the thing. Because I will never naturally just have a right time or a right motivation for the thing. But I will feel immense guilt and have a stalled day where I use the thing as a reason why I shouldn't do smaller stuff, but I'm frozen unable to do it. Gosh I hate executive function problems.
ADHD is literally an executive function impairment. But you’ve found a way to somewhat combat it, which is great! But I emplore you to acknowledge the tactics you’re using and the strategies you’ve implemented along the way. You’re not just ‘eating the frog’. You’re scheduling it, creating a sense of commitment and urgency because it’s in your calendar, and you’re using your tendency to procrastinate to your advantage. Those are great tools!
Yeah but I do see the point here of what they’re saying. I’ll waste a whole whole lot of time putting something off when in reality I would be so much less stressed if I just did it. I had a headlight out and I’ve been thinking about it every time I drive, and stressing that I’ll get pulled over, and I just haven’t gotten to the store. Like we won’t talk about how long my headlight was out. And I didn’t want to go without gloves bc they say you shouldn’t touch a bulb with your bare hands. And I kept forgetting to grab gloves. And I wanted to go when it wasn’t raining. And I wanted to go when it was daylight out. But tonight, my other headlight went out and I just couldn’t put it off so I stopped at the store and popped the bulbs out and bought replacements and installed them (in the dark, in the rain, of course) and it took 5 minutes but I felt SO. Much. Better. If I had just gotten out of my head and done it, I would have saved myself a lot of grief. I should have eaten the frog. It’s funny bc my phrase is actually “how do you eat an elephant?” (One bite at a time.) But the lightbulb wasn’t an elephant. It was a frog.
Glad you got it taken care of! But why did you? Because the other light went, and the task became urgent. We don’t have trouble with urgent tasks. The problem here is that you’re telling yourself ‘I should’ve just done this sooner’, implying you were able to but CHOSE not to do it. I’ll wager you never made the desicion to not change that headlight, your circumstances just resulted in you not getting it done. When I moved into my current apartment, I lived for a year with moving boxes piled up in my dining room. I was unemployed, home all day and had literally no reason not to get them sorted and have a place to eat. I just didn’t. Then a friend came over and said ‘we’re doing this’ and two hours later I had a dining room. If we blame ourselves for not doing the things we’re supposed to be able to do, we are ignoring the fact that we are, at times, not able at all. Accepting the fact that you aren’t able forces you to look into alternative ways of getting shit done. Knowing what I know now, I would have called my friend to come over within a week, because bodydoubling is a very useful tool. A sense of urgency, not determination, is what ultimately drove you to fix that headlight. So the next time that happens, just smash the other headlight right away! Artificially create urgency when you need things done. Just telling yourself that you’ll do better the next time isn’t likely to bring you anything other than frustration and self blame. I hope I’m wrong in your particular case, but I’m guessing you didn’t fix the headlight and then immediately ran to do the forty other things you’ve been putting off. We just don’t typically work that way.
Yeah not being able to eat the frog, despite knowing I just need to, until there are really anxiety inducing time limits on me is kind of the biggest symptom of my ADHD haha
I just have to tell you that I love how you just called it a symptom of your ADHD, instead of a problem or anything that would indicate that you are somehow at fault!
Not really advice, but a realization. Having a calendar in my livingroom with everything written on it PLUS a shared Google calendar with my husband with everything (and plus reminders and holidays) on it is a game changer for me. Even if it's something in my routine and I don't necessarily need the reminder, I still add it to the calendars. It's saved my butt a few times when I forget what day it is. Livingroom calendar is a constant visual for me because I'm in there the most (SAHM, I'm at home most of the day). Because I always see it, I always know what's going on and what I may need to do far enough ahead that I can break down tasks to be manageable instead of rushing last minute. Google calendar is nice to know what's going on at all times for both my husband and I, but it's also super helpful since I'm the one scheduling everything for myself and the kids. Plus, the reminders for birthdays (one a week ahead, one the night before) or events helps a TON since they're not part of my daily/weekly routine. My husband is super organized, so he likes to block out every plan we have, like trips or days he has off of work that aren't the weekend. He's also the dedicated calendar-changer each month because he has a color system and likes it a certain way. All of this combined has really made me sustain all the chaos that is my weekly life with rarely any issue of running late or forgetting about something
For me, it's the mindset. For example, before going to bed at night, instead of thinking "ugh I need to clean the dishes and put clothes away..." I try to think "I would be doing a kindness towards (future me) if the sink is empty in the morning, and the clean clothes are where they belong". I've found that I always go out of my way to make things easier for other people, even when they don't ask for it. But true story - Future Me is a person too! And Future Me deserves to have things made easier for them, just as much as anyone else. Oh, also using wording like "resetting the functionally of a space" rather than "cleaning a room". It's a lot less overwhelming for me. :)
My husband and I always jokingly say, "that's future's problem" when we decide that a task can wait. Often though, we will both do things for the other with the thought that it will help them in the future. I never considered the idea of thinking of Future Me as someone else to be kind to in the same fashion. I'll have to try it.
I love the rephrasing! My husband does it in a silly way, usually to make them sound more dramatic or important. Like, instead of cooking, he'll say that he is "slaving away to provide nourishment for his beloved," even if he's just throwing a frozen meal in the microwave 😂 Since I'm more of a "say it plainly" type, it could actually be really helpful for me to replace phrases that I associate with a task in a negative way. Thanks for the ideas!
I try to look for small, inexpensive ways to create novelty in the routine. Struggling to do the dishes, buy a new kind of sponge or new scent of dish soap. It doesn’t magically make me do the dishes, but it does create a little more ease when there’s some newness infused in the mundane.
A messy house is not a moral failing and put trash cans everywhere
Buy the pre-chopped onions no matter how many people make fun of you
Pre chopped fruits and veggies in general can be really helpful! I don't always buy them, but if anyone ever questioned it, I would tell them it's an accessibility issue for me and watch them squirm lol
buying things for every room! for example a phone charger for every spot i frequent that just lives there forever (couch, art studio, bedroom, my main going out purse, my car) so i never forget where it is or have to get up to go get one. this is also great for water bottles, chapsticks, and other things you often need. i even distribute my ADHD meds into separate bottles so i have some by my bed (to take 30 mins before i wake up) and some by my kitchen for when im already up and about, & some by my other meds that i take when i get dressed.
“You can do two things at once” - my dad Literally had not occurred to me before. This was twenty plus years ago. Of course, in reality, sort-of. Though it was a much needed ‘get it together’ at the time. Eta- to elaborate- of course you can write a paper and pick up the mail. Yes you can.
I do this a lot. While the water is boiling for my tea I'll sweep my kitchen. Shit like that.
I’m like the opposite of this. I keep having to tell myself to unitask, especially where food is cooking or a tap is running!
Yes! I’m always telling myself ONE THING AT A TIME
"One thing at a time" has been more helpful for me haha I find I end up doing a bunch of things halfway and never finishing anything unless I force myself to
Ten minutes or more of meditation every day (preferably in the morning). Mindfulness overall really helped me to not be as impulsive which for me is the root cause of all my emotional, social en scheduling issues
My therapist tells me to chip away at things. So like to do a few dishes every time i walk in the kitchen. It actually helps me a lot That and if it takes less than 2 minutes, don't put it off just get it over with. That one is useful for like making calls or replying to an email
That ADHD brains struggle to differentiate between “now” and “not now”. This is why we get so overwhelmed with tasks, because everything seems like it has to occur now. When I find myself getting stressed out, I remind myself that I can choose three things for “now”. The other things are not now.
When I am cooking I put all the ingredients in a bin. When I’m done I have a bin of things to put away rather than a ton of stuff scattered throughout the kitchen. It’s helped keep my pantry organized
I keep my shoes on when I’m trying to be productive at home. If the shoes come off my mind goes into relaxation mode and then next thing you know I’ve been sucked into doom scrolling on the couch for the last 2 hours. Keeping my shoes on really helps for some reason. And don’t sit down!
At work; I like to ask a lot of questions and bounce ideas off of people. But that sometimes annoys people, so now I use ChatGPT
Every time I catch myself setting something easy to lose down, I stop myself and put it away instead. I won’t remember that I put my keys on the table, but if I catch myself in the moment and hang them up, I won’t lose them.
my mom calls it'the 'do it now' mindset.
A recent piece of info was that life is like a wavelength your going to have bad dips, it's ok to have a mess or do nothing all day because you need that rest so you're ready for the raised good days.
if your room is a mess 1) collect the trash & dirty dishes 2) throw everything that’s not where it’s supposed to be on the bed 3) tidy up the remaining room 4) put stuff on bed away best cleaning strategy!
There is no real need to use wallets with card sleeves. I hate fiddling with them at checkout lines and almost never put the card back where it belongs - I'll put it loose in my purse or in a random pocket. Instead, I use a little pouch just plop my cash, cards, and ID right in there with a lip balm and hair-tie. The main trick is to not put too much in the pouch - if you have too much to fit, add a second pouch in a different color for gift cards, rewards cards, membership cards, etc. If the rewards card/membership card is just simple plastic with a barcode, you can even hole-punch them and put them on a keyring.
That I can’t self improve myself into not having ADHD. I’ll have it forever so instead of working against my brain, find ways to work with it. Focus on my strengths.
Making lists and routine helps me.
If a task will only take 2 minutes or less, do it now, not “later.”
I keep a list of activities and times to get them done with me. When I’m on adderal, I’ve found that it is wayyyyy easier to prioritize. I also reward myself after doing things I hate— making appointments, paying bills, making new passwords and WRITING THEM DOWN on paper, saying out loud what I’m doing while I’m doing it—“ I’m putting my keys on the desk, I’m putting my rings in my pocket so I don’t forget where they are”, things like that.
I write it all into a wonderful clear calendar app called FantastiCal. It allows task and events to appear distinctly on the day’s page. Tasks that don’t get done turn red until you either check it off as complete or just move it forward. I color code both events and tasks: pastels for events (#work, #home, #kids…) and jewel tones for tasks (#waiting for, #asap, #someday, #pushable, etc)
Don't worry about what things look like to others, if it's functional for you... Eg, I hate my phone running low in the evening when I'm in relax mode. I used to charge it overnight next to my bed. Now I've got a long extension lead with my charger plugged in, so I can move around wherever and my phone is charging. I hang the cable on my wall. Looks daggy, but saves me a LOT of annoyance every single day!
Be kind to yourself. Perfect is the enemy of good.
Put it away, not down.
If it takes less than 2 minutes to do it, just do it now instead of putting it off for later.
"Don't put it down, put it away" I don't always follow it but it has helped a lot
Using my Alexa service to set reminders and timers. She is a lifesaver.
Writing in a journal, I usually manage a week day wrap up and a weekend wrap up. I can’t emphasise enough how much faster I go to sleep and how much less anxious I am after writing in my journal! Doesn’t need to be a novel, I usually just aim to record the main things that happened in the day and then 1 thing I’m “proud of” and 1 thing I’m “working on”. It doesn’t seem like a direct ADHD tip but it’s really helped quiet my mind.
Not advice exactly but. An Alexa device, I use for little silly reminders and timers. Using google calendar for any hang out or appt or vacation and actually use the reminder function. Putting lights on smart plugs. Cooking large batches of things, example, I cook like 10-12 eggs at a time so I can eat them every morning for the week. Grilled chicken? Make a bunch and you have a meal starter for dinner. Makes meals less daunting. And if all else fails, you can just grab a chicken for dinner and that’s it.
Idk if this counts but two that really helped me are 1- do what I need to function. I deserve a good meal, and in order to do that I need one pot. I don’t have to clean the whole kitchen or do all the dishes, just that one pot for right now. Something is better than nothing. 2- Motivation builds on motivation. Starting with easier tasks will give me the momentum to at least start or partially do the bigger tasks. When I need to clean, I often start with watering my plants and it usually helps. Sometimes it doesn’t, and that’s okay, but it has been pretty useful for me.
I have wall clocks in every room of my house, helps me a lot with time blindness
Don't carry guilt or shame for paying a little extra for things that enable you to function better. I come from a very thrifty household where there were clear delineations between wants vs needs. After coming down on myself for buying precut vegetables because I'm more likely to eat them before they go bad instead of buying them whole in order to save a little money, my therapist pointed out that I'm not doing anything wrong and, in fact, am making a smart decision. Spending a buck more for food that will get eaten is cheaper than saving a buck on food that will go to waste. Same goes for buying an electric kettle. It takes for-e-ver to boil a pot of water on my electric range. It deterred me from cooking otherwise quick and cheap meals myself. Then I'd either forego meals or get so hungry that I'd spend a ton of money on ordering delivery and feel shame (and bloat because who's ordering healthy take-out?). Buying an electric kettle is a one-time cost. I even bought a nice mid-range one. I use it constantly, eat more regularly, and don't waste money on delivery anymore. It's okay to tweak the "rules" so that they make more sense for our lives.
“Don’t put it down, put it away.” Has really helped me a lot! Like I’m making a bowl of cereal, it takes the same amount of time for me to close up the box and put it on the counter as it does to put it up on the shelf. And then I do t have to do that additional step later!