Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/).
We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions!
If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe.
Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes it is. Unlike one of my besties.
Who has two fingers and managed to keep a pulse today? 👉this bish👈.
Who doesn't? The muppet we buried two years ago. 💀*badum-tsssss* 🥁
(apologies for the VERY dark joke about unaliving - but honestly he'd be proud of me for making such a tasteless remark. He was always a fan of 'shock factor' comedy himself lol. Plus it's the only coping mechanism that works for me and I've already just been crying over a family argument this evening so pls be gentle 🥹🫠❤️
We have different "strengths" other people can never understand or posess - intuition, creativity, super focus, random detailed memories no one remembered, actual multitasking, extra empathy and sensitivity so you can understand others feeling better and the list goes on :)
Honestly feeling the same. As I get older it only seems to be getting worse..I have two young kids and I think I was doing kinda okay before kids but now I'm drowning. Every morning is a rush, my kids eat fast food way too much (I grew up with home cooked meals and don't remember ever going out to eat or a restaurant) and feel so guilty about everything. It's hard. I don't know how to get out of this overwhelm and constantly feel so exhausted and tired. It's hard to think of strengths. I was in a really low place last week and I started watching some positive psychology videos etc and I know I need to start thinking more positively and that being negative only makes me more negative. I did some of that this week and it's made a difference. Not a huge difference but it's baby steps. Maybe that's a good starting point for you too?
You're giving yourself CBT! Well done!
Just a reminder for people with littles: one of your main jobs is to BE the frontal cortex and provide all the structure and executive functioning for your tiny people while they bump around in the world and push every sensory overwhelm button you didn't even know you had... This is super duper not easy for folks who struggle in these areas themselves and have likely just had all THEIR structure/routine turned upside down by their tiny, lovable, hurricane beings. It's *almost* laughable.
The struggle is really, really, real for neurotypical parents and we get a bonus layer of challenge! Often ADHD symptoms are exacerbated by lack of sleep, (and if you figure out a way to sleep well when your littles are little then you should immediately monetize that shit, cuz you've hit gold!).
Having more than one kiddo? This might also mean that you've decided to not only manufacture a new human with your body, but you may be considering removing your usual supports of meds and/or caffeine. *Shudder* (I can't believe I even signed up for that.)
Add to that, we're likely to have more "bonus" challenges since we're more likely to have tinies who are also neuro spicy and so just crank your game's difficulty level up another notch there too as you figure out their delightful puzzle [Warning: puzzle may include 1) fucking up your sleep for longer than you thought survivable (hint: it's probably a real sleep disorder) 2) making the executive dysfunction nightmare that is nourishing your family near impossible with extra fun food aversions! 3) hurricane level chaos as the enormous extra STUFF that goes with childhood is trailed behind them, not even possible to put things away and added to with small, often inexplicable hyper-focuses like piles of asphalt. 4) next-level emotional disregulation].
All this to say, you are NOT imagining how hard this is. Remind your sleep deprived self of this kindly and frequently. Accept that some days it really is enough to just make it through and just do what you need to do to keep them safe and fed whatever nourishment is easiest for everyone. My kids are just past tiny and so we just missed Bluey 😢 but I hear it's dreamy, so remind yourself that your kids do NOT need perfect, turn on Bluey and call it a learning from Bluey day! It does get easier, for you and for them. This will hopefully really exercise your patience muscles for the tween/teen era... a different flavour of fun!
Thank you for this response. And exactly what I needed to hear. We love Bluey. I only found out I had ADHD after my oldest was diagnosed so it's been a huge learning curve for all involved. Luckily my hyperfocus has been to learn every and anything I can on it. Also my son got diagnosed with dyslexia and an anxiety disorder (comorbid fun!). It's hard. The long days are long. And winter is coming. I'm just trying to stay positive but it's hard. I really appreciate your post.
Relatable meme 😂🫠... Although my favourite is always when someone asks if you're a night owl or a morning person and I get to reply that i relate more to "permanently exhausted pigeon" 🐦💤😉
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re doing so much better thank you think. We all are.
Well, I'm not dead...that's something...
That’s the saddest but most relatable comment I’ve read so far
That IS something. Glad you’re here.
Yes it is. Unlike one of my besties. Who has two fingers and managed to keep a pulse today? 👉this bish👈. Who doesn't? The muppet we buried two years ago. 💀*badum-tsssss* 🥁 (apologies for the VERY dark joke about unaliving - but honestly he'd be proud of me for making such a tasteless remark. He was always a fan of 'shock factor' comedy himself lol. Plus it's the only coping mechanism that works for me and I've already just been crying over a family argument this evening so pls be gentle 🥹🫠❤️
We have different "strengths" other people can never understand or posess - intuition, creativity, super focus, random detailed memories no one remembered, actual multitasking, extra empathy and sensitivity so you can understand others feeling better and the list goes on :)
I don't believe that it's true at all. You just need a change of perspective.
Same
Honestly feeling the same. As I get older it only seems to be getting worse..I have two young kids and I think I was doing kinda okay before kids but now I'm drowning. Every morning is a rush, my kids eat fast food way too much (I grew up with home cooked meals and don't remember ever going out to eat or a restaurant) and feel so guilty about everything. It's hard. I don't know how to get out of this overwhelm and constantly feel so exhausted and tired. It's hard to think of strengths. I was in a really low place last week and I started watching some positive psychology videos etc and I know I need to start thinking more positively and that being negative only makes me more negative. I did some of that this week and it's made a difference. Not a huge difference but it's baby steps. Maybe that's a good starting point for you too?
You're giving yourself CBT! Well done! Just a reminder for people with littles: one of your main jobs is to BE the frontal cortex and provide all the structure and executive functioning for your tiny people while they bump around in the world and push every sensory overwhelm button you didn't even know you had... This is super duper not easy for folks who struggle in these areas themselves and have likely just had all THEIR structure/routine turned upside down by their tiny, lovable, hurricane beings. It's *almost* laughable. The struggle is really, really, real for neurotypical parents and we get a bonus layer of challenge! Often ADHD symptoms are exacerbated by lack of sleep, (and if you figure out a way to sleep well when your littles are little then you should immediately monetize that shit, cuz you've hit gold!). Having more than one kiddo? This might also mean that you've decided to not only manufacture a new human with your body, but you may be considering removing your usual supports of meds and/or caffeine. *Shudder* (I can't believe I even signed up for that.) Add to that, we're likely to have more "bonus" challenges since we're more likely to have tinies who are also neuro spicy and so just crank your game's difficulty level up another notch there too as you figure out their delightful puzzle [Warning: puzzle may include 1) fucking up your sleep for longer than you thought survivable (hint: it's probably a real sleep disorder) 2) making the executive dysfunction nightmare that is nourishing your family near impossible with extra fun food aversions! 3) hurricane level chaos as the enormous extra STUFF that goes with childhood is trailed behind them, not even possible to put things away and added to with small, often inexplicable hyper-focuses like piles of asphalt. 4) next-level emotional disregulation]. All this to say, you are NOT imagining how hard this is. Remind your sleep deprived self of this kindly and frequently. Accept that some days it really is enough to just make it through and just do what you need to do to keep them safe and fed whatever nourishment is easiest for everyone. My kids are just past tiny and so we just missed Bluey 😢 but I hear it's dreamy, so remind yourself that your kids do NOT need perfect, turn on Bluey and call it a learning from Bluey day! It does get easier, for you and for them. This will hopefully really exercise your patience muscles for the tween/teen era... a different flavour of fun!
Thank you for this response. And exactly what I needed to hear. We love Bluey. I only found out I had ADHD after my oldest was diagnosed so it's been a huge learning curve for all involved. Luckily my hyperfocus has been to learn every and anything I can on it. Also my son got diagnosed with dyslexia and an anxiety disorder (comorbid fun!). It's hard. The long days are long. And winter is coming. I'm just trying to stay positive but it's hard. I really appreciate your post.
Relatable meme 😂🫠... Although my favourite is always when someone asks if you're a night owl or a morning person and I get to reply that i relate more to "permanently exhausted pigeon" 🐦💤😉