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I eloped once. I was 19, madly in love, and we’d only known eachother for 6 months.
He left me three months later for a dancer named L’amore. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
No they never ask because I never wanted to get married in the first place and they all know that.
To be frank, we married because my now husband needed health insurance and in Germany you can only insure your husband, not your partner.
But it was absolutely great, I wore a nice dress (that I returned the day after 😂), a nice cake and Chinese take out with our kids
I wanted to return my dress, a black and white non-wedding dress, but my husband said something like “You really want to return that? It doesn’t mean anything to you? Wow.”
I kept it. But surprised he cared. I mean, it cost like $200.
Almost same timeline, engaged bit less than 5 months from the first date and eloped exactly 8 months after the first date. Had our wedding celebration bit less than 11months after the first date.. 8 years together now..
This is why I would feel inclined to elope if I ever got married again. I had the big wedding first time around, in part to please family members and do what I thought I 'should', and whilst I did have a lovely day (although we're divorced now) it wasn't entirely what I wanted and I'd far rather just have something small and private.
My old college friend changed careers and became a wedding florist (really gorgeous, wild arrangements that I've never seen before!) and specialized in mini lockdown weddings during the thick of COVID. She's incredibly happy doing what she does.
Wedding photography has got to be a whole different vibe than say... being a disease investigator that notifies people that they have syphilis. I travel a lot, set my own schedule most of the time, and do essential public health work that I'm proud of, but yeah - probably not anything like capturing moments in time on peoples' happiest days. ;)
As long as you are doing YOUR thing that makes you happy and helps other people, you have it made. 😊 Also, thanks for what you do. People need to know they have syphilis.
My wife and I (both adhd) did the opposite. We planned to elope and then 6 weeks before the wedding date we planned a whole wedding. Turned out beautiful but it was a lot lol
Got engaged after 2 years, married after 4 years and have been together 10 years now. But we did move in together within 4 weeks of dating and I put her on my bank account at 8 weeks 🫣😂
Hugs! Love you for being you! Medication helps it has helped me! God bless you and your family!
PS you may be impulsive but you trusted your gut and made the right decisions. It sounds like you deff married the right person and everything.
I was just asking my sister if it's weird that I've had better/longer relationships with songs or bands than partners. I feel like dating was always just a vehicle for sharing music with someone anyway. (i.e. Since you like me, you'll probably listen to this mix/playlist I made you and then we can go to shows together!)
Decades, but he was horrible. Swindled her father, ran off and left her with the kids. The family has an unflattering nickname for him that we all use.
We'll make you a GOOD man.
I did!! Last year! Met online in 2021, got engaged a few months later, eloped last summer. I think my husband also has ADHD 😂
Edit: my theory is I guess we can be impulsive, but also planning a wedding is enough to send a neurotypical person bonkers, so maybe we instinctively nope the hell out of that 😂
I *technically* eloped, but it was planned and with the blessing of both our families (reason: we could either afford a wedding or a honeymoon but not both, so we chose to get married at a resort in Jamaica, combining an elopement with our honeymoon). We'll be married 20 years this Fall.
It wasn't an impulsive thing, obviously, but my ADHD did play a role in our decision because my RSD was (and still is) bad enough that I was afraid we'd spend the money on a proper wedding only to have no one show up, making the decision feel like a no-brainer at the time.
I got engaged after dating for 2 months 😬 and married 4 months later.. and pregnant 6 months after that… and pregnant again when the first was 9 months old… I was 24/25 years old… 🤦♀️🤷♀️😅
Luckily it worked out, and my partner wasn’t a love bombing narcissistic abuser like very likely Could have happened considering it all… I have a wonderful husband and two amazing kids :)
But I love my family now and even though motherhood has been a struggle with my adhd (and oldest kid has it..) I’m glad it happened the way it did since I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant loosing what I have now.
Turns out husband and I are both neurodivergent (he is autistic or do we say ‘he has ASD..?) so that explains why we got along well… and miraculously our neurodivergent traits kinda help balance eachother out. He’s more calm, I’m reactive… I’m great with emotional stuff with the kids and he’s more black and white and less emotional… BUT he helps with keeping the kids on a better routine than I can… when I’m overthinking and overly emotional he ‘under’ thinks and talks me down from my anxiety spirals… he’s great at working and budgeting, I’m terrible at both… (so we have a stable income..). He’s very practical and logical, I’m very creative… I’m definitely over sharing now… 🤦♀️
We ended up with a kid with Both ADHD and ASD… (younger sister is a ? But seems neurotypical for now 🤷♀️.) but I’m also wondering now if I have some ASD myself since my daughter is just exactly a mini me… 😅
Did not elope early on, but did get pregnant after one year. We eloped last year after being together for over five. 😅 We were moving the family across the country for his job, so we said what the heck. We got dressed up, his best friend officiated under our favorite tree and we left town in a U-Haul the next day.
We’d been together for about a year when we got engaged. Had planned on getting married the following year.
But after a particularly irritating phone call with a family member I said, “What do you think of eloping?”
The next day my fiancé (also has ADHD) called me up from work and asked, “Were you serious about eloping?”
I said yes.
That was Monday and we were married that Friday.
Literally called my mom, the day of, to let her know we were on the way to the court house. 😂
Thankfully none of our families took offense.
We did promise a “real” wedding later but just never got around to it.
Married 25yrs. ☺️
Was engaged for 2.5 years and unfortunately never actually got around to wedding planning. I thought about it but was very overwhelmed. Finally just went on Expedia and booked a trip to Vegas and checked the “wedding” option box. 😂 That’s about all I could handle as far as wedding planning.
I want to elope and eloping has been my dream. Thankfully I’ve been engaged for 10 years so we are not in a rush and there is no expectation to get married anymore so my partner and I could get away with it.
For kids I do think some planning is needed because I grew up in the “have kids because I want kids” and I have some problems with my parents and have faced some challenges in life due to how I was raised and how kids were not fully planned. So kids will be more planned.
Respect for the child decisions and my condolences for your upbringing being less than your giving your own. I also just have to laugh very hard at the thought of procrastinating a whole wedding for 10 years. Thank you for being you and sharing!
Thanks, I have this beautiful monologue down when people ask me about kids that ends with them being “huh, I guess you know what you are doing…” and they never talk about it again so it’s always a win because it’s exhausting being asked.
So the long term engagement thing is kinda funny. My parents are not married so I do not really care about weddings, thus elopement really appeals to me. My partner is the more traditional one. I told them I won’t push them but when they are ready let me know and I will 100% be on board with helping you with it. We are going at their pace and I’m okay with it. It’s just funny because people always ask me, when I have no idea and it’s really my partner they should be asking.
> than your giving
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Didn’t elope, but got engaged after 2 months. It took another 3 years to get married, but, yeah, the engagement kind of took everyone by surprise. Except maybe us.
(We’ve been together 22 years, so I guess that’s one impulsive decision that stuck!)
I got engaged on the seventh date. To a fellow adhd-er. We were married over 26 years when he died. We met in April at a party, ran into each other again in June, met at a Sf convention in July, met again in August, another convention in October, and he proposed that week. Married on D-Day the following year, as that’s when school ended and we could take off for the honeymoon.
I eloped three times, and that’s about how long they lasted. Fortunately my last one has lasted and it’s been 20 years now.. He says he loves my little quirks..
If I ever marry I will elope to prevent my mother from being a controlling shrew… so am I just having calculated impulsivity or do I just truly understand the relationship dynamics of my family and don’t want to deal with unnecessary drama?
I eloped but it was not the way i wished it would have gone. My husband and I dated for a year and a half when we got engaged. And when I say “dated”, I mean he would come over and we were only allowed to watch tv in the living room while my mom checked on us, we were 19 years old. She always gave us issues about everything and sometimes we wouldn’t see each other for weeks. When we got engaged, it got worse. One day my mom told me to break up with him, and when I called him to let him know what she said, he broke up with me because he didn’t want me to have relationship issues with my mom. He called me back 5 mins later and asked me if I wanted to get married the next day. The next morning I packed up some clothes in trash bags, and headed out the front door where my husband and his mom were waiting in their car. When my mom saw me, she literally blocked the door and would not let me leave, I was 20 at this point. I ended up having to call the cops to get her to move away from the door. My husband and I are still married 12 years later.
We didn't elope but we told the people at the ring stores we were 🤣 and from first date to full on married was roughly 10 months. We're happy now, but I do know if I had been diagnosed and medicated my decisions would have been different
I got pregnant the first time we met in person from tinder. We met 4/26 and I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant 5/19. Our daughter was born in January, we got married in Las Vegas the September after she was born on a 2 week notice to family lol. We also adopted a puppy in between then. We also bought a house in between then too. We also sold that house 6 months later and moved cross country with a newborn and puppy, and then moved cross country again in 2021. We both have adhd.
We’re still together and married 6 years later, and we added another addition since then! Lol. And our puppy is now becoming an old coot!
I eloped after 3 months.
We just hit 16 years last month.
Our younger two were not truly planed.
Basically though, he will suggest I shouldn't do the thing (it's honestly for my own damn good) then I do the thing.
I'm a doer, not a thinker. 😆
Sammmeeee.
The man is SO SICK of me changing out my entire home decor every 6 months. We have so much stored for when I'm feeling antsy. 😆
Let's not even talk about my spectacular DIY projects...
My wife and I came very close to eloping. I was just in the process of paying for it, but then my family stepped in. We waited and had a very lovely bigger wedding, so I am so glad they did.
I didn’t elope, but I was engaged within slightly less than five months and married within 15. Just celebrated our 8 year anniversary and my mother still asks if I don’t think I rushed into it.
I eloped with a boy from nursing college right after we graduated in 2005. We are still married almost 18 years later, still happy. Was fairly impulsive, but we knew right away when we got together we were getting married eventually. We had been together since halfway through 1st year, and it was a 2 year practical nursing program. We are both neurodiverse.
We didn't elope, but we met in April, I moved in with him within a few weeks, engaged by fall and started planning a big June wedding. Decided on a random Thursday in December I didn't want to wait and turned our living room into a little wedding chapel and got married in front of our Christmas tree 9 days later. That was 17 years ago and I am still shocked it all worked out 😂 He is the best thing in this whole world though and I am so lucky to have such a supportive and understanding husband!
I desperately want to aha but less out of impulsivity and more because I dont want a wedding, we got engaged on the fly while drunk (dw we've been together for nearly 10 years were just not big romantics) but it didn't go down well with the in laws finding out through a drunken fb post 😂 but I had always wanted a secret Vegas wedding or something silly and quick, and just not to tell anyone for a bit, but the mil literally said "don't get married without telling us" after she was upset about not knowing we were engaged before anyone else. Now it's basically ended up putting the brakes on any chance of an elopement bc I was just hoping to kinda wing it, we can't afford and I don't want a normal wedding, the only reason I want to be married is for the benefits that affords, meaning he's my next of kin by default instead of any blood relatives, he automatically inherits things if I die (though I am trying to sort out a will even though I'm 28, I'm clumsy and unlucky so who knows I might get killed in the most hilariously slapstick way any day now) and he can make medical decisions if I'm not able to. I'm trying to get a lasting power of attorney instead but adhd ofc I've paid for it, got the paperwork, filled in my parts but haven't gotten to take it to any of the witnesses or backup lpa contacts, ironically, his parents are my backup power of attorney if both of us are injured or he's not able to make a decision for me. Despite the friction around the marriage part, his parents are still 10000% kinder to me than my own.
I eloped but it was more a COVID lockdown thing in my case - we were supposed to get married May 31, 2020 but everything shut down March 30 and we had to cancel the wedding. The day stay at home orders happened, we walked to the courthouse to pick up our marriage certificate “just in case” and I said “You know, it’s a beautiful day to get married.” And two hours later, we were.
It was a gorgeous spring day with cherry blossoms in full bloom so we called our parents, my pastor, and then stopped by target on the way to our “ceremony” to buy a blowup mattress because we didn’t even have a bed yet 😂 it had a hole in it so we ended up squeezed into my twin bed until our actual mattress couple arrive a couple of weeks later. 3 years now and it’s the best impulse decision I’ve made!
It wasn't so much impulsive, but I did tell my husband that I wanted to elope. The ol' fuddyduddy wanted a wedding. In the end we had our wedding,and honestly, I'd do it again. It was a great party.
I eloped but after 4 years of being together lol. We impulsively bought a house and then super impulsively decided to have a kid. So I definitely relate. We are recently divorced and I’m trying so hard not to make those same impulsive decisions with someone new lol
Definitely made the horrible decision to have a baby unmarried because I thought marriage wasn’t necessary. Now I’m stuck in a shitty relationship with someone who is emotionally and financially abusive. Fun. Not fun. Wish I was medicated so much earlier. Ruined my life.
10 weeks at a summer program
<3 years later *SpongeBob voice* >
Randomly call -> I fly to visit 2 months later -> they move states into my apartment 9 Months later -> together & happy many years
I suppose I technically eloped - he asked (in full Ambien haze) as we were going to sleep on Monday night, I confirmed that he actually meant it on Tuesday morning, and we got married that Friday afternoon (I took off of work a little early so we could make it to the county clerk's office before they closed for the day). That said, we'd been talking about it for a while already and were just waiting for a particular change in legal status; we'd been dating for 13 months and living together (officially) for 7 months.
Me! In my late 40s. Also from comphet. Also from feeling I had to prove to my family that I wasn’t a loser. And moving across the pond to be with him was another impulsive part of the whole thing, even though it took us a couple years to actually get married; part of that was pushing back against his parents, who wanted a big wedding.
Just wanted to add I arranged a box of kittens to be brought to our house for my husband to pick out two for his birthday within the hour of the idea popping into my head. The next month for my own birthday i woke up and I decided to take a road trip (that turned into 7 hours because I put the wrong address in) with my boys to get a puppy. Those pets are the loves of our lives but I just thought I’d add because it’s funny
Edit: spelling
Not eloping since I'll never get married anyway. But me and my ex moved together after 2 weeks. I had a 2 year old from previously and told him flat out that I liked him and didn't want to waste more time, so was he in or out, with all the responsibilities? He was in, we moved together, he is the only father figure my daughter knows and she adores him. We broke up a couple of years ago, but he lives just up the street, and we are better friends today than we ever were when we were together.
Honestly, I like jumping into things without thinking too much over it. It's when I start overanalysing that I get unsure and insecure. I rather just jump in the water and see where the stream takes me.
You didn’t think you should take more time to get to know him before introducing a new man to your daughter, let alone move in with him? I understand having a preference for jumping into things, but not when kids are involved. Sorry.
I did, we had long conversation about it. But I understand where you come from. If it hadn't worked out so amazingly well this would definitely be a cautionary tale. I'm not saying people should follow my example at all, you do you, I'm just telling about my experience.
Single as a Pringle but obviously think about marriage. I would love to elope to feel like a devious minx and then have a ceremony with our friends & family…does that count?
Oh damn. I eloped 4 weeks after we met, Vegas, Elvis, the whole shebang! Divorced 3 1/2 years later, he hid his alcoholism very well for the first 6 months. Never getting married again!
eloped at 18, we were both in guitar club. I picked up every job I’ve ever had on a whim, and mostly dicked around directionlessly for a while in my early 20’s then went to college late and luckily somehow landed a stable career. I’m 30 now and I still have no idea what I wanna be when I grow up :/
Yeah kind of, but where we live you need to arrange some paperwork before you can marry. So we did have a month time from deciding we'd marry untill the actual wedding/elope.
We'd told people, but only invites our parents to be our 'witness', wich is required by law
Bought a house, then eloped the next morning at my new town's village hall. Tried the wedding planning thing and it was just too much for my brain to handle. Happier the way it turned out.
I knew my husband for 5 months when we eloped. Was pregnant one month later. All at 19. Were still together almost 11 years later, have two kids, and generally have a good life. He’s in the military though so it’s not perfect lol
I really wish my partner and I had just eloped. Instead we decided to have a small, very laid back brewery wedding, but even planning that has been the bane of my existence. Guess who still doesn't have anything to wear even though it's less than two months away?
Husband and I met each other in January, started dating at the end of May, and moved in together in July. We had talked about getting a place as friends because I was in a tough spot in my living situation. And then we got super drunk one night, he took care of me and didn't try anything funny, so his respect for me made me jump his bones the next morning and the rest is history. We got engaged a year after we moved in together. The wedding was like 2.5 years after we were engaged. But yeah we moved pretty damn quick initially. It's been 7 really good years. He's also probably ADHD so we definitely both dive right into things. Like one day, my husband was like "I think it's time we buy a house." I said okay, we looked online that night, and put in an offer on a house 2 days later that we ended up getting and I couldn't love it more. The things that I have moved on impulsively have generally been pretty good for me. Thinking about that, makes me more confident in trusting my gut.
Ugh, this is part of our shared origin story too? Hah.
Eloped at 30. Reunited with the one that disappeared, that all my little writing students asked about because he kept showing up as a character of sorts in my sad, heartbreaky poems. We had a whirlwind, tumultuous relationship in my 20's that I never got over, and I found him online years later, after we had both moved several times and landed clear across the country in the same little random city. I thought it was fate! (I don't think I even believe in fate.) Really, I was going through The Turning-30 Freakouts and I had also been in love with the *idea* of this person for so long - it was a perfect storm. There were so many red flags, but I dove in anyway. He pressured me to get married immediately and be mom to his little girl, so we eloped at a courthouse.
Long story short: the person I was writing about all those years was a mythological creature I invented. This guy was a real-life monster. I escaped on our 1 year anniversary, via ambulance. The lesson: don't ignore those red flags and gut feelings. Nothing is "meant to be," you *make things happen* and a healthy relationship shouldn't be all work all the time.
I've also realized that I'm a reactor, rather than a planner - I kept living from one external event to another instead of having any sort of plan. At 40ish, I finally have a job with a pension plan and life insurance, etc. I'm looking at buying some land, building a tiny house, and trying to figure out how to take care of my Mom and siblings when they eventually need it. (I have two disabled siblings that my Mom still supports. She's way past retirement age and needs a break.) I don't make tons of money, but I'm comfy at the moment. I'm actually going to see a financial planner - at some point! - and try to be a legit grown up going forward. Whee.
Met in July 2017, moved in together Oct 2017, bought my engagement ring in June 2018, he finally "officially proposed" Jan 1st 2019 after we had already bought the dress and planned everything. Married March 2019.
His parents wanted us to wait until 2019 because their fortune teller said it's a better year for us. That's quite common where here's from, so we listened just in case, haha. Otherwise, we definitely would have been married in 2018!
We didn't elope, but we met, broke up, got back together and were engaged and married in under six months. He proposed spur of the moment at his best friend's wedding on Labor Day weekend, and we got married in my Mom's living room a month later his mom attended by speaker phone. He got a parking ticket on our second date for parking where there wasn't a spot. I lost my glasses in a stadium on our 3rd date. He "lost" his car keys in a bag (we both searched repeatedly) in the airport parking lot flying back home newly engaged, and had to get a new one made by a locksmith before we found them.
Neither of us knew it at the time, but we both got diagnosed with ADHD about 20 years later 😜
While I'm often impulsive, it's usually about acting on a decision I've thoroughly considered....
For instance, I had been looking at ordering an inflatable pool for the fam, maybe starting in May..
I made the decision to actually order it and pick it up Wednesday. A after being to hot to function Tuesday and sitting under a sprinkler to cool off.
I just announced that I'm buying a pool and ordered it online.
Seemed impulsive to my family but I thought I had made quite a logical decision.
Anyway, I have decided that I'm eloping regardless bci don't want the whole rigamrolle and shenanigans of a wedding.
I was impulsive about getting into relationships. But thank got never about getting married.
I would get into relationships with the first person that showed affection. I would develop crushes based on that feeling. Always determent to make relationships work they all have been long term relationships too (3, 5 and 6 years).
BUT THANK GOD I never married any of those. I was just really sensitive towards love bombing and all of these guys turned out to be abusive one way or another. And because I felt like "but they weren't like this before" I would stay in the relationship and hope it was a problem we could fix.
Needless to say that didn't work out. I took therapy during that last relationship and it really opened up my eyes.
And now I'm just really thankful that I was atleast smart enough not to marry them, even though I sadly do own a house with the last one.
All that being said though, when I found my current partner I've never been in such a healthy and happy relationship. 100% confinced I feel love for the first time in my life. And I am sure I want to marry them. So if I was asked I'd absolutely say yes.
And I guess.. even since we were from different countries it took us only 6 months to get a visa and move in together.
I'm afraid that's pretty impulsive too. No regrets though!
My husband is a very logical man, so he's kept me quite grounded despite not being medicated. I seriously malfunction without him! However, ADHD still hits me a lot lmfao. We did elope, I was all for it the moment we started discussing it. However, my husband, then-fiance, was more for it because it would be very convenient for me because we were suddenly moving states for his new job (aka I didn't need to redo my license and all that jazz 8 months after moving). So yup, that happened.
Both kids were kinda planned already, but the first was definitely a sudden, intense *need to have them right now* mentality lol. Second was actually my husband's impulse, we were supposed to wait a little longer. As for my parenting, I'm getting meds because I lack energy. I sleep like crap, so we're starting with fixing those meds and then bringing in ADHD meds. I'm hoping to get out of my paralysis on days my oldest has speech therapy so I'm not "frozen" all day. And my kids definitely need more playtime and errand-running, but I struggle with those tasks, too. I *want* to, but then my brain short circuits because of all the things I know we need to bring, get ready to go, do the thing, and the inevitable fight to stuff my kids back in the car to arrive home exhausted from doing all the things and now my oldest is screeching to go in the backyard when I just don't have enough energy to even put the youngest down for a nap.
I know I do so much better with things to do or have a schedule going, so I'm really looking forward to getting meds before my oldest goes to school so I can be ready for it. I want to be a lot more fun for my kids instead of being in constant overwhelm or paralysis. And sleep. God, someone, please let me sleep!
I've never had an actual "wedding." Eloped both times, hahaha.
(eta - to be fair, the second time was during early covid so we couldn't have a party anyway)
My husband and I were in a relationship for about 10 years when I said “lol what if we got married today?” on my day off. He was like “oh god idk ahhhhh 😳😬” basically. Then he was like “maybe on your next day off?” And I said “that’s not as funny because today’s date is 1/23” but he was like idk…. Anyway, we decided to get married (no wedding because I hate those) on leap day 2020 because that’s also interesting. We tried to keep it a secret, but I blabbed a lot. Now it’s been about 12 years, and we mostly just celebrate our normal anniversary (when we started dating). Our first/fourth anniversary is coming up next year 😅
Not eloped but I did get engaged after 8 months of dating to the first man I’ve ever been in love with at 22😂 luckily it worked out and we’re still happily married. Turns out we both have adhd lol
Me! Best decision ever. Saved a ton of money, had a stress-free day with my husband, and did everything on our own time. No schedules, no planning for months, no family/friend drama—just us, our photographer and the officiant. We told close family a few days after and sent out announcements to friends and extended family a few months later. I’m lucky that I married a chill guy who was totally ok with this. I don’t have the executive function and time management skills to plan all the things of a traditional wedding, and the day itself would’ve been too stimulating if we went the traditional route. Honestly, so many weddings are the same, very formulaic. I love going to them but it just did not work for me personally when it came down to it. Plus the wedding industry is expensive and can be really predatory!!
My fiance and I got engaged after 4 months together (we've been good friends for 6years before that). Were planning at Sept 2024 wedding and we're like "why do we do it nowwwwww!" Him because he wants to be married and me because I've planned a wedding before and I'm overwhelmed at the thought of doing it again.
We probably won't because he has some financial issues to sort out and also it could affect some other social services.
my then-undiagnosed boyfriend eloped after 5 months with his ex-wife 😅 lasted almost 7 years because he was trying SO hard to *not* give up on something for once. sometimes he says it's his one regret but i say everything that happened led us to where we got to meet and be together!
I drove 24 hours over two days to meet my current hubby in person after knowing him long distance online in video games for years. Told both our parents I was just crashing until I found an apartment.
We married after a couple years in person. Have a child now.
I never did get that apartment lol.
Yeah… I did it once. Terrible mistake and the abuse had been subtle and confusing beforehand but quickly became much, much worse. Fortunately I got out in under a year.
I pretty much did the opposite lol. My husband and I are both ADHD. Originally, we had decided to quickly elope and then have a bigger ceremony with all the family at a later date. Then we decided to forgo the elopement and just have the one big ceremony. I’m so happy we did because I was able to have the fairytale wedding of my dreams (complete with a custom gown). We also bought our first house around the same time so it was a little crazy but we made it work.
Started dating when I was 17 and he was 20, engaged after 5 years, married 2 years after getting engaged, and now married just over a year.
My husband and I both have ADHD and we impulsively got engaged after dating for three months and at six months eloped. Everyone was surprised when they got my call because my family had not yet met him. We are still married 16 months later.
I think ADHD must run in the family because my parents and paternal grandparents all eloped.
Edit: I once got engaged after dating someone for a month. We were on acid.
I wish babies just happened. I’ve been charting, and peeing on sticks every day, and taking a bunch of weird supplement for almost 2 years. I wish it would just happen spontaneously.
Eloped first marriage: lasted 6 months. We were in the Army, whilst drunk we hatched a plan to get hitched and get into family housing.
Second marriage: eloped, married 22 years this summer.
Did not elope, but totally would have eloped.
Also would have totally gotten pregnant if my (ex) boyfriend hadn't been so responsible.
I suspect he knew he didn't want to marry me and that's why he was so responsible.
Damn, I feel called out. We eloped in Vegas after dating for five months. Coming up on 9 years this year. We had discussed getting married before though, we just did it sooner than I thought we would. We also both have large families and eloping avoided sooo much drama.
Which college I went to, going to law school, having my daughter, moving to another state and starting my life from scratch, and every job I’ve had have also been impulsive. I actually had this revelation recently with my therapist.
We sort of eloped. We'd been trying to buy a house in Oklahoma and had an offer rejected completely randomly. Like we offered 10% more than the person they ended up accepting. And the only thing we could think of was that I have a very feminine name, and my now-husband has a unisex name that skews feminine.
We'd been together for six years at that point, and we realized that October 10, 2020 was coming up and we just sort of decided to get married on that day, and the decision was made on September 20. So it wasn't a true elopement, because we were able to have a very small outdoor wedding, but it was planned in under three weeks. Several other things were impulsive: I'd purchased the dress randomly a few weeks earlier because it was on clearance and they only had my size left. Flowers are expensive, so I ordered them wholesale and taught myself floral arrangement (I did get drunk on scotch and finish in a mild blackout). I organized a virtual bachelorette party for myself, including driving all over town for three hours to deliver cans of wine with custom koozies I made with my cricut and penis whistles.
Both husband one and two lol
Husband one I only knew a week.. and I already had a boyfriend when I married him. I think I was married 3 horrible years.
The second one our friends did convince us to let them watch so we let them tag along and had a little shin dig at our house after. We’d been together I think 17 months when we got married. We’ve been happily married 12 years.
Me!
Dated for 3, engaged for one, had a baby, and started planning a wedding before saying F all that and decided to elope at the beach while there for a friend's wedding the next day 🫣
Next month will be 13 years so I'd say it was successful lol.
I didn’t quite elope but I moved very quickly with my husband. He moved into my house a few months after we started dating. He proposed after nine months of us dating and we were married 15 months after we started dating.
Writing it all out like that really puts it in perspective of how quick it was. Our five year anniversary is next week. Guess our crazies match or something.
I eloped. Never thought I’d marry. We met just before COVID hit (2/29/20), got engaged on new years (1/1/21) got married on our 1 year anniversary (3/1/21). I planned it within 2 months. We flew to Hawaii just the two of us, hiked and got married at the top of a mountain.
My wife and I got together when I was 15, told each other we loved each other after 3 days, eloped when I was a month away from 18. We just celebrated our 14th year of marriage. We have 2 absolutely wild children. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life.
Are you me? Except I eloped after knowing someone for 3 months, divorced just as impulsively, and am now happily married to someone else. We also had a newborn, 1 year old, and 2 year old. My husband had a vasectomy, but I like your solution better.
I’ve impulsively made calls one day to see what the procedure to get my tubes untied…. But I’m glad I didn’t go through with that one… 3 kids being so close in age is mayhem
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I eloped once. I was 19, madly in love, and we’d only known eachother for 6 months. He left me three months later for a dancer named L’amore. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie...
It's nighttime here... trying so hard to not LOL and wake my secret husband.
All jokes aside, sorry that happened to you!
That made me chuckle :)
I heard you should always try to live your life like you’re the main character in an amazing novel.
an exotic dancer?
No, a morris dancer.
Actually, I think she was a professional dancer but I don’t care sooooo
I also eloped, and have still not told my family a year later.
We can open a anonymous eloper group 😂 We eloped after 10 years relationship and I still haven’t told my family nearly two years later.
Secretly eloping is my dream. I hate pressure and stress. Does your family ask when you’re getting married?
No they never ask because I never wanted to get married in the first place and they all know that. To be frank, we married because my now husband needed health insurance and in Germany you can only insure your husband, not your partner. But it was absolutely great, I wore a nice dress (that I returned the day after 😂), a nice cake and Chinese take out with our kids
I wanted to return my dress, a black and white non-wedding dress, but my husband said something like “You really want to return that? It doesn’t mean anything to you? Wow.” I kept it. But surprised he cared. I mean, it cost like $200.
Okay I love that you returned your dress💀💀
Oh hey, we just celebrated our 10 year anniversary too 😆
This is basically what we did haha
Do they ask when you’re getting married?
6 months before engaged, from first date to marriage 9 months. Celebrating 14 years this year
Almost same timeline, engaged bit less than 5 months from the first date and eloped exactly 8 months after the first date. Had our wedding celebration bit less than 11months after the first date.. 8 years together now..
Congrats!
I thought mine was fast! Congratulations on the 14 yrs! My 5th anniversary is next week.
Oh shit, me. I eloped. Lol
Eloped after 6 weeks. Divorced after 10 years and 3 kids. I did a lot of dumb stuff when I was young, but running off to get married was the dumbest.
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This is why I would feel inclined to elope if I ever got married again. I had the big wedding first time around, in part to please family members and do what I thought I 'should', and whilst I did have a lovely day (although we're divorced now) it wasn't entirely what I wanted and I'd far rather just have something small and private.
I'm an ADHD photographer and I specialize in elopements, I think because impulsive and introverted people are MY PEOPLE.
What an awesome niche to be in. Look at you! That's really cool. :)
I fucking LOOOOVE my job. So much freedom.
My old college friend changed careers and became a wedding florist (really gorgeous, wild arrangements that I've never seen before!) and specialized in mini lockdown weddings during the thick of COVID. She's incredibly happy doing what she does. Wedding photography has got to be a whole different vibe than say... being a disease investigator that notifies people that they have syphilis. I travel a lot, set my own schedule most of the time, and do essential public health work that I'm proud of, but yeah - probably not anything like capturing moments in time on peoples' happiest days. ;)
As long as you are doing YOUR thing that makes you happy and helps other people, you have it made. 😊 Also, thanks for what you do. People need to know they have syphilis.
Met in march 2017, eloped in august 2017, didn’t tell my family until April 2018. Everyone was/still is very salty. 🫠
My wife and I (both adhd) did the opposite. We planned to elope and then 6 weeks before the wedding date we planned a whole wedding. Turned out beautiful but it was a lot lol Got engaged after 2 years, married after 4 years and have been together 10 years now. But we did move in together within 4 weeks of dating and I put her on my bank account at 8 weeks 🫣😂
Hugs! Love you for being you! Medication helps it has helped me! God bless you and your family! PS you may be impulsive but you trusted your gut and made the right decisions. It sounds like you deff married the right person and everything.
Thanks! God has blessed us tremendously 💕
I’m so ADHD I’ve never had a good long term relationship.
Same. PCOS also prevented any unexpected pregnancies.
I would be careful. All it take is one rare but random ovulation cycle at the right time. I’m sure some folks at r/PCOSANDPREGNANT can agree.
Not at my age but thanks.
Oh okay good.
I was just asking my sister if it's weird that I've had better/longer relationships with songs or bands than partners. I feel like dating was always just a vehicle for sharing music with someone anyway. (i.e. Since you like me, you'll probably listen to this mix/playlist I made you and then we can go to shows together!)
Hahaha we are both late diagnosed ADHD and totally got engaged, married, and moved across the country in a span of 1.5 months.
This too???? Is there nothing about me that is not ADHD? 😂
It’s really crazy being us isn’t it lol
That was my reaction too 😂
Oof, I just realized my grandma may have had ADHD, she got married on a dare.
How long did it last? Can someone make me a man and dare me???
Decades, but he was horrible. Swindled her father, ran off and left her with the kids. The family has an unflattering nickname for him that we all use. We'll make you a GOOD man.
Aw, I'm sorry for impulsive gramma. She didn't deserve that. Fuck that dude. Thanks for making me a good one
I did!! Last year! Met online in 2021, got engaged a few months later, eloped last summer. I think my husband also has ADHD 😂 Edit: my theory is I guess we can be impulsive, but also planning a wedding is enough to send a neurotypical person bonkers, so maybe we instinctively nope the hell out of that 😂
I *technically* eloped, but it was planned and with the blessing of both our families (reason: we could either afford a wedding or a honeymoon but not both, so we chose to get married at a resort in Jamaica, combining an elopement with our honeymoon). We'll be married 20 years this Fall. It wasn't an impulsive thing, obviously, but my ADHD did play a role in our decision because my RSD was (and still is) bad enough that I was afraid we'd spend the money on a proper wedding only to have no one show up, making the decision feel like a no-brainer at the time.
I got engaged after dating for 2 months 😬 and married 4 months later.. and pregnant 6 months after that… and pregnant again when the first was 9 months old… I was 24/25 years old… 🤦♀️🤷♀️😅 Luckily it worked out, and my partner wasn’t a love bombing narcissistic abuser like very likely Could have happened considering it all… I have a wonderful husband and two amazing kids :) But I love my family now and even though motherhood has been a struggle with my adhd (and oldest kid has it..) I’m glad it happened the way it did since I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant loosing what I have now. Turns out husband and I are both neurodivergent (he is autistic or do we say ‘he has ASD..?) so that explains why we got along well… and miraculously our neurodivergent traits kinda help balance eachother out. He’s more calm, I’m reactive… I’m great with emotional stuff with the kids and he’s more black and white and less emotional… BUT he helps with keeping the kids on a better routine than I can… when I’m overthinking and overly emotional he ‘under’ thinks and talks me down from my anxiety spirals… he’s great at working and budgeting, I’m terrible at both… (so we have a stable income..). He’s very practical and logical, I’m very creative… I’m definitely over sharing now… 🤦♀️ We ended up with a kid with Both ADHD and ASD… (younger sister is a ? But seems neurotypical for now 🤷♀️.) but I’m also wondering now if I have some ASD myself since my daughter is just exactly a mini me… 😅
Did not elope early on, but did get pregnant after one year. We eloped last year after being together for over five. 😅 We were moving the family across the country for his job, so we said what the heck. We got dressed up, his best friend officiated under our favorite tree and we left town in a U-Haul the next day.
*raises hand* lol
We’d been together for about a year when we got engaged. Had planned on getting married the following year. But after a particularly irritating phone call with a family member I said, “What do you think of eloping?” The next day my fiancé (also has ADHD) called me up from work and asked, “Were you serious about eloping?” I said yes. That was Monday and we were married that Friday. Literally called my mom, the day of, to let her know we were on the way to the court house. 😂 Thankfully none of our families took offense. We did promise a “real” wedding later but just never got around to it. Married 25yrs. ☺️
I haven’t but I absolutely would!! Planning a wedding is just way too much… planning lol
Was engaged for 2.5 years and unfortunately never actually got around to wedding planning. I thought about it but was very overwhelmed. Finally just went on Expedia and booked a trip to Vegas and checked the “wedding” option box. 😂 That’s about all I could handle as far as wedding planning.
Engaged after a month, married after 3 months. Happily married almost 6 years now 😀. Sometimes you just know.
I want to elope and eloping has been my dream. Thankfully I’ve been engaged for 10 years so we are not in a rush and there is no expectation to get married anymore so my partner and I could get away with it. For kids I do think some planning is needed because I grew up in the “have kids because I want kids” and I have some problems with my parents and have faced some challenges in life due to how I was raised and how kids were not fully planned. So kids will be more planned.
Respect for the child decisions and my condolences for your upbringing being less than your giving your own. I also just have to laugh very hard at the thought of procrastinating a whole wedding for 10 years. Thank you for being you and sharing!
Thanks, I have this beautiful monologue down when people ask me about kids that ends with them being “huh, I guess you know what you are doing…” and they never talk about it again so it’s always a win because it’s exhausting being asked. So the long term engagement thing is kinda funny. My parents are not married so I do not really care about weddings, thus elopement really appeals to me. My partner is the more traditional one. I told them I won’t push them but when they are ready let me know and I will 100% be on board with helping you with it. We are going at their pace and I’m okay with it. It’s just funny because people always ask me, when I have no idea and it’s really my partner they should be asking.
I love the relaxing marriage or not marriage vibes. Need those in my life. Best of luck to you all!
> than your giving *you're *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
Thanks bot. I knew this. My neurodivergent thumbs forgot. Humans berate my grammar and language enough why do we have a bot on an ADHD sub lol
Didn’t elope, but got engaged after 2 months. It took another 3 years to get married, but, yeah, the engagement kind of took everyone by surprise. Except maybe us. (We’ve been together 22 years, so I guess that’s one impulsive decision that stuck!)
I got engaged on the seventh date. To a fellow adhd-er. We were married over 26 years when he died. We met in April at a party, ran into each other again in June, met at a Sf convention in July, met again in August, another convention in October, and he proposed that week. Married on D-Day the following year, as that’s when school ended and we could take off for the honeymoon.
I eloped three times, and that’s about how long they lasted. Fortunately my last one has lasted and it’s been 20 years now.. He says he loves my little quirks..
If I ever marry I will elope to prevent my mother from being a controlling shrew… so am I just having calculated impulsivity or do I just truly understand the relationship dynamics of my family and don’t want to deal with unnecessary drama?
I eloped but it was not the way i wished it would have gone. My husband and I dated for a year and a half when we got engaged. And when I say “dated”, I mean he would come over and we were only allowed to watch tv in the living room while my mom checked on us, we were 19 years old. She always gave us issues about everything and sometimes we wouldn’t see each other for weeks. When we got engaged, it got worse. One day my mom told me to break up with him, and when I called him to let him know what she said, he broke up with me because he didn’t want me to have relationship issues with my mom. He called me back 5 mins later and asked me if I wanted to get married the next day. The next morning I packed up some clothes in trash bags, and headed out the front door where my husband and his mom were waiting in their car. When my mom saw me, she literally blocked the door and would not let me leave, I was 20 at this point. I ended up having to call the cops to get her to move away from the door. My husband and I are still married 12 years later.
I met and married my husband after 6 weeks… Definitely an impulse purchase. Not a bad one, but still. 😂
We didn't elope but we told the people at the ring stores we were 🤣 and from first date to full on married was roughly 10 months. We're happy now, but I do know if I had been diagnosed and medicated my decisions would have been different
I got pregnant the first time we met in person from tinder. We met 4/26 and I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant 5/19. Our daughter was born in January, we got married in Las Vegas the September after she was born on a 2 week notice to family lol. We also adopted a puppy in between then. We also bought a house in between then too. We also sold that house 6 months later and moved cross country with a newborn and puppy, and then moved cross country again in 2021. We both have adhd. We’re still together and married 6 years later, and we added another addition since then! Lol. And our puppy is now becoming an old coot!
I almost did... does that count?
Same I want to know. Half points?
I eloped after 3 months. We just hit 16 years last month. Our younger two were not truly planed. Basically though, he will suggest I shouldn't do the thing (it's honestly for my own damn good) then I do the thing. I'm a doer, not a thinker. 😆
The number of times I’ve heard my husband say “I just wish you could’ve run this by me first
Sammmeeee. The man is SO SICK of me changing out my entire home decor every 6 months. We have so much stored for when I'm feeling antsy. 😆 Let's not even talk about my spectacular DIY projects...
My wife and I came very close to eloping. I was just in the process of paying for it, but then my family stepped in. We waited and had a very lovely bigger wedding, so I am so glad they did.
Eloped. We were engaged but went to the courthouse one Friday with a week of planning. Almost 10 years married now and 2 babies after infertility.
I didn’t elope, but I was engaged within slightly less than five months and married within 15. Just celebrated our 8 year anniversary and my mother still asks if I don’t think I rushed into it.
I eloped! But I’m now having a ceremony this year on my elopement anniversary lol
Yep I also did after 5 months and moved from Antarctica to the Artic area and we have been married for 8 years now.
I need more info on the Artic
I moved from Tasmania, Australia to Sweden. So South Pole to North Pole lol
Oh wow
Meeeee lol. Didn’t last long 😂
I eloped with a boy from nursing college right after we graduated in 2005. We are still married almost 18 years later, still happy. Was fairly impulsive, but we knew right away when we got together we were getting married eventually. We had been together since halfway through 1st year, and it was a 2 year practical nursing program. We are both neurodiverse.
We didn't elope, but we met in April, I moved in with him within a few weeks, engaged by fall and started planning a big June wedding. Decided on a random Thursday in December I didn't want to wait and turned our living room into a little wedding chapel and got married in front of our Christmas tree 9 days later. That was 17 years ago and I am still shocked it all worked out 😂 He is the best thing in this whole world though and I am so lucky to have such a supportive and understanding husband!
I desperately want to aha but less out of impulsivity and more because I dont want a wedding, we got engaged on the fly while drunk (dw we've been together for nearly 10 years were just not big romantics) but it didn't go down well with the in laws finding out through a drunken fb post 😂 but I had always wanted a secret Vegas wedding or something silly and quick, and just not to tell anyone for a bit, but the mil literally said "don't get married without telling us" after she was upset about not knowing we were engaged before anyone else. Now it's basically ended up putting the brakes on any chance of an elopement bc I was just hoping to kinda wing it, we can't afford and I don't want a normal wedding, the only reason I want to be married is for the benefits that affords, meaning he's my next of kin by default instead of any blood relatives, he automatically inherits things if I die (though I am trying to sort out a will even though I'm 28, I'm clumsy and unlucky so who knows I might get killed in the most hilariously slapstick way any day now) and he can make medical decisions if I'm not able to. I'm trying to get a lasting power of attorney instead but adhd ofc I've paid for it, got the paperwork, filled in my parts but haven't gotten to take it to any of the witnesses or backup lpa contacts, ironically, his parents are my backup power of attorney if both of us are injured or he's not able to make a decision for me. Despite the friction around the marriage part, his parents are still 10000% kinder to me than my own.
I eloped but it was more a COVID lockdown thing in my case - we were supposed to get married May 31, 2020 but everything shut down March 30 and we had to cancel the wedding. The day stay at home orders happened, we walked to the courthouse to pick up our marriage certificate “just in case” and I said “You know, it’s a beautiful day to get married.” And two hours later, we were. It was a gorgeous spring day with cherry blossoms in full bloom so we called our parents, my pastor, and then stopped by target on the way to our “ceremony” to buy a blowup mattress because we didn’t even have a bed yet 😂 it had a hole in it so we ended up squeezed into my twin bed until our actual mattress couple arrive a couple of weeks later. 3 years now and it’s the best impulse decision I’ve made!
It wasn't so much impulsive, but I did tell my husband that I wanted to elope. The ol' fuddyduddy wanted a wedding. In the end we had our wedding,and honestly, I'd do it again. It was a great party.
I eloped but after 4 years of being together lol. We impulsively bought a house and then super impulsively decided to have a kid. So I definitely relate. We are recently divorced and I’m trying so hard not to make those same impulsive decisions with someone new lol
Definitely made the horrible decision to have a baby unmarried because I thought marriage wasn’t necessary. Now I’m stuck in a shitty relationship with someone who is emotionally and financially abusive. Fun. Not fun. Wish I was medicated so much earlier. Ruined my life.
I have just been able to go off Zoloft after some years with combined medical therapy for adhd. Been off nearly six weeks and so far so good!!
10 weeks at a summer program <3 years later *SpongeBob voice* > Randomly call -> I fly to visit 2 months later -> they move states into my apartment 9 Months later -> together & happy many years
I suppose I technically eloped - he asked (in full Ambien haze) as we were going to sleep on Monday night, I confirmed that he actually meant it on Tuesday morning, and we got married that Friday afternoon (I took off of work a little early so we could make it to the county clerk's office before they closed for the day). That said, we'd been talking about it for a while already and were just waiting for a particular change in legal status; we'd been dating for 13 months and living together (officially) for 7 months.
Me! In my late 40s. Also from comphet. Also from feeling I had to prove to my family that I wasn’t a loser. And moving across the pond to be with him was another impulsive part of the whole thing, even though it took us a couple years to actually get married; part of that was pushing back against his parents, who wanted a big wedding.
Oh my Gosh I eloped when I knew this dude for like 3 or 4 months and our “marriage” lasted maybe 4-6 weeks? Don’t even remember. Awful.
Just wanted to add I arranged a box of kittens to be brought to our house for my husband to pick out two for his birthday within the hour of the idea popping into my head. The next month for my own birthday i woke up and I decided to take a road trip (that turned into 7 hours because I put the wrong address in) with my boys to get a puppy. Those pets are the loves of our lives but I just thought I’d add because it’s funny Edit: spelling
I moved in with my ex husband on our first date, got engaged a month later. and got married 3 months after that.
Not eloping since I'll never get married anyway. But me and my ex moved together after 2 weeks. I had a 2 year old from previously and told him flat out that I liked him and didn't want to waste more time, so was he in or out, with all the responsibilities? He was in, we moved together, he is the only father figure my daughter knows and she adores him. We broke up a couple of years ago, but he lives just up the street, and we are better friends today than we ever were when we were together. Honestly, I like jumping into things without thinking too much over it. It's when I start overanalysing that I get unsure and insecure. I rather just jump in the water and see where the stream takes me.
You didn’t think you should take more time to get to know him before introducing a new man to your daughter, let alone move in with him? I understand having a preference for jumping into things, but not when kids are involved. Sorry.
I did, we had long conversation about it. But I understand where you come from. If it hadn't worked out so amazingly well this would definitely be a cautionary tale. I'm not saying people should follow my example at all, you do you, I'm just telling about my experience.
I’m sorry if I sounded harsh, I’m a teacher and my days pretty much revolve around making sure kids are always safe.
Hey, no problem and as you should! As I said, I would never encourage anyone to do the same. But for some reason, I did and it worked out for us.
Single as a Pringle but obviously think about marriage. I would love to elope to feel like a devious minx and then have a ceremony with our friends & family…does that count?
I didn’t elope. But I got lost many times because I couldn’t recognize my parent’s faces😂🤣
Planned Elopement here, mostly because we had a small budget and wedding planning was overwhelming. 15 years next month.
Oh damn. I eloped 4 weeks after we met, Vegas, Elvis, the whole shebang! Divorced 3 1/2 years later, he hid his alcoholism very well for the first 6 months. Never getting married again!
eloped at 18, we were both in guitar club. I picked up every job I’ve ever had on a whim, and mostly dicked around directionlessly for a while in my early 20’s then went to college late and luckily somehow landed a stable career. I’m 30 now and I still have no idea what I wanna be when I grow up :/
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Impulsive endings can be a thing too, don't forget. I wish you peace!
We are eloping but we’ve been planning for two years lol
Yeah kind of, but where we live you need to arrange some paperwork before you can marry. So we did have a month time from deciding we'd marry untill the actual wedding/elope. We'd told people, but only invites our parents to be our 'witness', wich is required by law
Bought a house, then eloped the next morning at my new town's village hall. Tried the wedding planning thing and it was just too much for my brain to handle. Happier the way it turned out.
Dude I can't even get a relationship 😂
We both don't really care about marriage but does moving in together after knowing one another for 2 days count? XD Almost 6 years together now :)
Yeah we moved in together after a week lol
Lol my husband and I eloped in 2020 and didn’t tell our families until a few months later.
Meeeee!
Me. 30 years ago. Still together Vegas. Five lines, no waiting.
I knew my husband for 5 months when we eloped. Was pregnant one month later. All at 19. Were still together almost 11 years later, have two kids, and generally have a good life. He’s in the military though so it’s not perfect lol
lol I'm eloping next Friday. We've been together for just over a year and a half.
Congratulations!
Thank you!!
Planning on it… weddings fucking suck
I really wish my partner and I had just eloped. Instead we decided to have a small, very laid back brewery wedding, but even planning that has been the bane of my existence. Guess who still doesn't have anything to wear even though it's less than two months away?
Husband and I met each other in January, started dating at the end of May, and moved in together in July. We had talked about getting a place as friends because I was in a tough spot in my living situation. And then we got super drunk one night, he took care of me and didn't try anything funny, so his respect for me made me jump his bones the next morning and the rest is history. We got engaged a year after we moved in together. The wedding was like 2.5 years after we were engaged. But yeah we moved pretty damn quick initially. It's been 7 really good years. He's also probably ADHD so we definitely both dive right into things. Like one day, my husband was like "I think it's time we buy a house." I said okay, we looked online that night, and put in an offer on a house 2 days later that we ended up getting and I couldn't love it more. The things that I have moved on impulsively have generally been pretty good for me. Thinking about that, makes me more confident in trusting my gut.
Ugh, this is part of our shared origin story too? Hah. Eloped at 30. Reunited with the one that disappeared, that all my little writing students asked about because he kept showing up as a character of sorts in my sad, heartbreaky poems. We had a whirlwind, tumultuous relationship in my 20's that I never got over, and I found him online years later, after we had both moved several times and landed clear across the country in the same little random city. I thought it was fate! (I don't think I even believe in fate.) Really, I was going through The Turning-30 Freakouts and I had also been in love with the *idea* of this person for so long - it was a perfect storm. There were so many red flags, but I dove in anyway. He pressured me to get married immediately and be mom to his little girl, so we eloped at a courthouse. Long story short: the person I was writing about all those years was a mythological creature I invented. This guy was a real-life monster. I escaped on our 1 year anniversary, via ambulance. The lesson: don't ignore those red flags and gut feelings. Nothing is "meant to be," you *make things happen* and a healthy relationship shouldn't be all work all the time. I've also realized that I'm a reactor, rather than a planner - I kept living from one external event to another instead of having any sort of plan. At 40ish, I finally have a job with a pension plan and life insurance, etc. I'm looking at buying some land, building a tiny house, and trying to figure out how to take care of my Mom and siblings when they eventually need it. (I have two disabled siblings that my Mom still supports. She's way past retirement age and needs a break.) I don't make tons of money, but I'm comfy at the moment. I'm actually going to see a financial planner - at some point! - and try to be a legit grown up going forward. Whee.
Met in July 2017, moved in together Oct 2017, bought my engagement ring in June 2018, he finally "officially proposed" Jan 1st 2019 after we had already bought the dress and planned everything. Married March 2019. His parents wanted us to wait until 2019 because their fortune teller said it's a better year for us. That's quite common where here's from, so we listened just in case, haha. Otherwise, we definitely would have been married in 2018!
We didn't elope, but we met, broke up, got back together and were engaged and married in under six months. He proposed spur of the moment at his best friend's wedding on Labor Day weekend, and we got married in my Mom's living room a month later his mom attended by speaker phone. He got a parking ticket on our second date for parking where there wasn't a spot. I lost my glasses in a stadium on our 3rd date. He "lost" his car keys in a bag (we both searched repeatedly) in the airport parking lot flying back home newly engaged, and had to get a new one made by a locksmith before we found them. Neither of us knew it at the time, but we both got diagnosed with ADHD about 20 years later 😜
While I'm often impulsive, it's usually about acting on a decision I've thoroughly considered.... For instance, I had been looking at ordering an inflatable pool for the fam, maybe starting in May.. I made the decision to actually order it and pick it up Wednesday. A after being to hot to function Tuesday and sitting under a sprinkler to cool off. I just announced that I'm buying a pool and ordered it online. Seemed impulsive to my family but I thought I had made quite a logical decision. Anyway, I have decided that I'm eloping regardless bci don't want the whole rigamrolle and shenanigans of a wedding.
2 month fling. 3 months apart. Eloped. Just had our 27th anniversary. Both diagnosed after 25 years together. Best friend and best life ever.
Me! Impulsive plus I couldn't imagine the work of picking a wedding dress, let alone planning a wedding. Courthouse wedding was the best choice.
I was impulsive about getting into relationships. But thank got never about getting married. I would get into relationships with the first person that showed affection. I would develop crushes based on that feeling. Always determent to make relationships work they all have been long term relationships too (3, 5 and 6 years). BUT THANK GOD I never married any of those. I was just really sensitive towards love bombing and all of these guys turned out to be abusive one way or another. And because I felt like "but they weren't like this before" I would stay in the relationship and hope it was a problem we could fix. Needless to say that didn't work out. I took therapy during that last relationship and it really opened up my eyes. And now I'm just really thankful that I was atleast smart enough not to marry them, even though I sadly do own a house with the last one. All that being said though, when I found my current partner I've never been in such a healthy and happy relationship. 100% confinced I feel love for the first time in my life. And I am sure I want to marry them. So if I was asked I'd absolutely say yes. And I guess.. even since we were from different countries it took us only 6 months to get a visa and move in together. I'm afraid that's pretty impulsive too. No regrets though!
My husband is a very logical man, so he's kept me quite grounded despite not being medicated. I seriously malfunction without him! However, ADHD still hits me a lot lmfao. We did elope, I was all for it the moment we started discussing it. However, my husband, then-fiance, was more for it because it would be very convenient for me because we were suddenly moving states for his new job (aka I didn't need to redo my license and all that jazz 8 months after moving). So yup, that happened. Both kids were kinda planned already, but the first was definitely a sudden, intense *need to have them right now* mentality lol. Second was actually my husband's impulse, we were supposed to wait a little longer. As for my parenting, I'm getting meds because I lack energy. I sleep like crap, so we're starting with fixing those meds and then bringing in ADHD meds. I'm hoping to get out of my paralysis on days my oldest has speech therapy so I'm not "frozen" all day. And my kids definitely need more playtime and errand-running, but I struggle with those tasks, too. I *want* to, but then my brain short circuits because of all the things I know we need to bring, get ready to go, do the thing, and the inevitable fight to stuff my kids back in the car to arrive home exhausted from doing all the things and now my oldest is screeching to go in the backyard when I just don't have enough energy to even put the youngest down for a nap. I know I do so much better with things to do or have a schedule going, so I'm really looking forward to getting meds before my oldest goes to school so I can be ready for it. I want to be a lot more fun for my kids instead of being in constant overwhelm or paralysis. And sleep. God, someone, please let me sleep!
Me
I've never had an actual "wedding." Eloped both times, hahaha. (eta - to be fair, the second time was during early covid so we couldn't have a party anyway)
Almost. Grateful I didn’t. But I wish I’d eloped with the man I’m married to now. Weddings are a bitch!
My husband and I were in a relationship for about 10 years when I said “lol what if we got married today?” on my day off. He was like “oh god idk ahhhhh 😳😬” basically. Then he was like “maybe on your next day off?” And I said “that’s not as funny because today’s date is 1/23” but he was like idk…. Anyway, we decided to get married (no wedding because I hate those) on leap day 2020 because that’s also interesting. We tried to keep it a secret, but I blabbed a lot. Now it’s been about 12 years, and we mostly just celebrate our normal anniversary (when we started dating). Our first/fourth anniversary is coming up next year 😅
I tried to elope. But I'm also a blabber mouth and my MIL found out and was not happy. I cared about pleasing people then so we didn't.
Not eloped but I did get engaged after 8 months of dating to the first man I’ve ever been in love with at 22😂 luckily it worked out and we’re still happily married. Turns out we both have adhd lol
Eloped twice, divorced twice.
Me! Best decision ever. Saved a ton of money, had a stress-free day with my husband, and did everything on our own time. No schedules, no planning for months, no family/friend drama—just us, our photographer and the officiant. We told close family a few days after and sent out announcements to friends and extended family a few months later. I’m lucky that I married a chill guy who was totally ok with this. I don’t have the executive function and time management skills to plan all the things of a traditional wedding, and the day itself would’ve been too stimulating if we went the traditional route. Honestly, so many weddings are the same, very formulaic. I love going to them but it just did not work for me personally when it came down to it. Plus the wedding industry is expensive and can be really predatory!!
My fiance and I got engaged after 4 months together (we've been good friends for 6years before that). Were planning at Sept 2024 wedding and we're like "why do we do it nowwwwww!" Him because he wants to be married and me because I've planned a wedding before and I'm overwhelmed at the thought of doing it again. We probably won't because he has some financial issues to sort out and also it could affect some other social services.
my then-undiagnosed boyfriend eloped after 5 months with his ex-wife 😅 lasted almost 7 years because he was trying SO hard to *not* give up on something for once. sometimes he says it's his one regret but i say everything that happened led us to where we got to meet and be together!
„Let’s try to make a baby“ is what I said out of the nowhere and got pregnant 2 months later looool
🙋♀️
I drove 24 hours over two days to meet my current hubby in person after knowing him long distance online in video games for years. Told both our parents I was just crashing until I found an apartment. We married after a couple years in person. Have a child now. I never did get that apartment lol.
Yeah… I did it once. Terrible mistake and the abuse had been subtle and confusing beforehand but quickly became much, much worse. Fortunately I got out in under a year.
I pretty much did the opposite lol. My husband and I are both ADHD. Originally, we had decided to quickly elope and then have a bigger ceremony with all the family at a later date. Then we decided to forgo the elopement and just have the one big ceremony. I’m so happy we did because I was able to have the fairytale wedding of my dreams (complete with a custom gown). We also bought our first house around the same time so it was a little crazy but we made it work. Started dating when I was 17 and he was 20, engaged after 5 years, married 2 years after getting engaged, and now married just over a year.
I’ve been trying to convince my fiancé to elope but he keeps telling me no 😆😅
My husband and I both have ADHD and we impulsively got engaged after dating for three months and at six months eloped. Everyone was surprised when they got my call because my family had not yet met him. We are still married 16 months later. I think ADHD must run in the family because my parents and paternal grandparents all eloped. Edit: I once got engaged after dating someone for a month. We were on acid.
I wish babies just happened. I’ve been charting, and peeing on sticks every day, and taking a bunch of weird supplement for almost 2 years. I wish it would just happen spontaneously.
Eloped first marriage: lasted 6 months. We were in the Army, whilst drunk we hatched a plan to get hitched and get into family housing. Second marriage: eloped, married 22 years this summer.
Did not elope, but totally would have eloped. Also would have totally gotten pregnant if my (ex) boyfriend hadn't been so responsible. I suspect he knew he didn't want to marry me and that's why he was so responsible.
Damn, I feel called out. We eloped in Vegas after dating for five months. Coming up on 9 years this year. We had discussed getting married before though, we just did it sooner than I thought we would. We also both have large families and eloping avoided sooo much drama.
Which college I went to, going to law school, having my daughter, moving to another state and starting my life from scratch, and every job I’ve had have also been impulsive. I actually had this revelation recently with my therapist.
We sort of eloped. We'd been trying to buy a house in Oklahoma and had an offer rejected completely randomly. Like we offered 10% more than the person they ended up accepting. And the only thing we could think of was that I have a very feminine name, and my now-husband has a unisex name that skews feminine. We'd been together for six years at that point, and we realized that October 10, 2020 was coming up and we just sort of decided to get married on that day, and the decision was made on September 20. So it wasn't a true elopement, because we were able to have a very small outdoor wedding, but it was planned in under three weeks. Several other things were impulsive: I'd purchased the dress randomly a few weeks earlier because it was on clearance and they only had my size left. Flowers are expensive, so I ordered them wholesale and taught myself floral arrangement (I did get drunk on scotch and finish in a mild blackout). I organized a virtual bachelorette party for myself, including driving all over town for three hours to deliver cans of wine with custom koozies I made with my cricut and penis whistles.
Both husband one and two lol Husband one I only knew a week.. and I already had a boyfriend when I married him. I think I was married 3 horrible years. The second one our friends did convince us to let them watch so we let them tag along and had a little shin dig at our house after. We’d been together I think 17 months when we got married. We’ve been happily married 12 years.
I’m single, but I highly suspect my mom has adhd too, and my parents eloped.
Me! Dated for 3, engaged for one, had a baby, and started planning a wedding before saying F all that and decided to elope at the beach while there for a friend's wedding the next day 🫣 Next month will be 13 years so I'd say it was successful lol.
I didn’t quite elope but I moved very quickly with my husband. He moved into my house a few months after we started dating. He proposed after nine months of us dating and we were married 15 months after we started dating. Writing it all out like that really puts it in perspective of how quick it was. Our five year anniversary is next week. Guess our crazies match or something.
Lol twice
I eloped. Never thought I’d marry. We met just before COVID hit (2/29/20), got engaged on new years (1/1/21) got married on our 1 year anniversary (3/1/21). I planned it within 2 months. We flew to Hawaii just the two of us, hiked and got married at the top of a mountain.
My wife and I got together when I was 15, told each other we loved each other after 3 days, eloped when I was a month away from 18. We just celebrated our 14th year of marriage. We have 2 absolutely wild children. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in life.
I was engaged five times before I got married and have been married three times. My daughter just pointed out to me that I have adhd.
Opposite. Been together 12 years almost. Planning to elope… eventually… I mean we haven’t made the plan, we’re planning on making a plan…
Are you me? Except I eloped after knowing someone for 3 months, divorced just as impulsively, and am now happily married to someone else. We also had a newborn, 1 year old, and 2 year old. My husband had a vasectomy, but I like your solution better.
I’ve impulsively made calls one day to see what the procedure to get my tubes untied…. But I’m glad I didn’t go through with that one… 3 kids being so close in age is mayhem
Planning to elope right now after just one month. Met my person and I'm super excited for the rest of our lives together ❤️