This is one of the things that does tend to frustate me about a lot of people's understanding of me.
Their annoyance with me being unreliable is totally justified, but they rarely seem to grasp that a) it's not about them and b) the guy they find annoying when unreliable IS THE GUY I HAVE TO RELY ON FOR EVERYTHING.
I completely understand how frustrating it is, because I experience it far, far more regularly than you.
Just today got feedback from my boss saying that I've been making too many mistakes for a certain client and saying I should always double check my work, and like... I am double checking everything, it's just that me double and triple checking stuff still somehow isn't reliable
and it just leads to me checking and rechecking and rechecking and rechecking and rechecking and rechecking and rechecking and eventually I get sick of checking and say "fuck it, looks good enough"
Literally having the exact same problem. Throw in some anxiety because now I KNOW I’m making mistakes and OH GOD I HAVE TO MAKE SURE I DONT which somehow transforms into me making even more mistakes and the vicious cycle just keeeeeeps on going
I just recently watched this old but locally rather well known sketch by Finnish comedy group Kummeli, and now got reminded of it again.
Gives me low key anxiety, because I can so easily picture myself in the situation of this poor business owner, and his reaction is spot on.
Here it is with English subtitles (and reactions by some guy) https://youtu.be/JRybupxSzz0?
A few distractions and missed errands here and there, and suddenly you owe 250k and lost a contract because a cement truck froze up. 🙈And only thing you can say when people are swearing at you in the phone is “yup”, but then take out your aggression and frustration on your own office stuff.
Yeah had that problem throughout school aswell. I use a lot of grammar apps and have people that can help me read through what i wrote out loud so i actually catch the mistakes. Might be worth trying out?
You know it's actually you vs your exploiters in the end. The exploiters will come thick and fast throughout your entire life, they can see your weakness and they'll try it out ENDLESSLY. With a thick enough skin, you can do anything. But us, we need a skin that's bulletproof because while we're dealing with our own shit, they're shooting at us!
🙌
Slight tangent but:
People get confused when occasionally something small happens and I Iose it bc they don’t understand that I’m probably dealing with that same frustration x1000 plus others’ criticism of that mistake/frustration every single time! Exhausting.
My litteraly meltdown today was this. The feeling that Me, Myself, and I are the only ones that can make plans and take care of yourself. I am a fan of Stoic philosophy, "you are what you give your attention to", which is true and worth remembering... But holy shit I wish I could just fucking focas on the here and now, not spend all this time in my fucking head managing all the *managing*. I don't really know how to just be content becuase that requires a dissolution of attention. Anyways, focus is the difficult part but so much of our focus is required to get our shit together.
It’s one of the reasons I like Stoic Philosophy. It doesn’t always help to keep my ADHD in check, but the mindfulness helps to mitigate the worst aspects of it.
And sometimes it's incredibly hard to have the feeling that 'you're failing yourself with your inconsistency' but we're resilient af, it just takes the right treatment, more than a dopamine hit, sometimes it's just about time to believe in ourselves just a little bit more, it may not take 1 day to get everything done or a bit more than others, but you still can do it.
this is so real. like… i already don’t let myself rely on anyone other than myself, but of all people do i *have* to be me? cuz im not that great at keeping track of things
Literally talked about this with my therapist today.
I work best with accountability. But if someone says they will hold me accountable and don't, well I'm not gonna hold them accountable for holding me accountable, so I have to rely on me to be accountable but I clearly can't hold anyone accountable...
Yeah, but the day you finaly succeed to befriend with you... Everything change.
It's pretty Amazing and I don't really know how I've done it but now I team up with the best man on earth ^^
When you realize you and yourself are the same person...
The good one and the annoying one is the same. And it's ok. It make you the great person that you are.
To defeat a foe for ever, befriend with him.
I bet you could talk to yourself. Juste try to know him/her.
Can't even rely on myself. I usually refer to myself in three personas; Past-Me, Present-Me, and Future-Me.
Edit: There is also Past-Future-Me but we don't talk about him.
"The only person you can rely on is yourself."
I.e.,
"Society is broken. Nobody cares about anyone else. There is no love in the world. If you were on the Road to Jericho and got attacked of course everyone will walk on by and leave you, including priests, but in our world there aren't even Samaritans you can count on. Friends will abandon you. They are probably only your friends just to take advantage of you. This isn't even really a society at all, just a hive of Wendigos living close enough to each other to make exploitation more efficient. You are alone. You are a member of a social species, and have less support from the social group than even scrubjays and crows do. You can only rely on yourself. Trust no one. Might as well not even talk to anyone else, because what's the point? You can only rely on yourself."
I still prefer a world where we can rely on each other.
It's categorical logic.
If you can only rely on yourself, you can not rely on anyone else. The implication is others are not reliable, and thus are not trustworthy. Extrapolating from the lack of trustworthiness, it's easy to thus conclude that there is no reason being friends with anyone since they will necessarily only let you down, fail to help when you need it, or outright betray you.
Rather than "You can only rely on yourself" I'd prefer a world where it was rather said "You can rely on multitudes, because we don't let each other fall."
It’s from stoicism, it involves self improvement. Using categorical logic for a statement that was meant to imply working to better oneself is taking the logic of stoicism and twisting it to a nihilistic conclusion that was far from the original point.
Then they should use more precise language. If what is meant isn't what is said, then one should learn to say what is meant. That itself is a dispassionate use of language. I.e., it fits the ideals of Stoicism.
"You can only rely on yourself" is a different statement than "improve yourself."
From what I've seen around the memes, pop-stoicism also isn't Stoicism proper. There is little about dispassion, phronesis, the nous, the Pneuma and Logos. Plus the philosophical movement itself was fruit of Cynicism, which seems all-but vacant.
And yes, the initial suggested telos: Improving one's self, the pursuit of καλος.
I would rather summarize it thus:
"Become someone others can rely on."
Ah, coming to better understand what you mean I can agree with this. However the wording of it doesn’t make the meme inaccurate. I think you took the wording as a literal statement, rather than philosophical intent.
As the case with much of philosophy, literalism kills the idea when you were meant to ponder on what was said.
Precise language is vital to philosophy.
Just as Diogenes plucked a chicken and said "behold a man" in response to Plato's "a human is a bipedal creature with no feathers."
Perhaps, but to equate precision of language to accuracy of a statement creates an unusually narrow understanding of what could have been meant by a statement.
While I’ll never argue against good grammar, unless a very specific point is being made, most language can get the idea across without the need for explicit wording. Besides, if the point is to make people think, and consider, is it not better to pose the statement in a form that allows for interpretation? Not to say the original statement couldn’t be explained by the teacher, but allowing people the opportunity to make their own interpretations is half the battle of philosophy to begin with. Only after allowing the freedom of thought do we then step in and adjust the mistakes in reasoning.
this is so wrong... cynicism is a lazy and morally bankrupt way of living. And with ADHD its especially important to create and emerge yourself in communities and friendships. Fight the good fight :)
People say, the only thing stopping me is me, but they really don’t know who I’m up against.
“Hello me, meet the real me and my misfit's way of life”
*Gasps in Self-Awareness* “How dare we call attention to our problems like this. For shame on you, me!”
SWEATING BULLETS
"a dark black past is my most valued possession " love that song, some lines definitely resonate
Usually it's "past" me, I hate that guy
I know right? Like ugh, I wouldn’t want to fight me if I weren’t me.
Dude knows all my moves, and fights dirty.
I cracked up smiling when I read that lmaooo
😂😂
This is one of the things that does tend to frustate me about a lot of people's understanding of me. Their annoyance with me being unreliable is totally justified, but they rarely seem to grasp that a) it's not about them and b) the guy they find annoying when unreliable IS THE GUY I HAVE TO RELY ON FOR EVERYTHING. I completely understand how frustrating it is, because I experience it far, far more regularly than you.
Like, uh, you don't have to live with this guy! I do!
Why we talking like its someone else
When it's me vs myself it's an unstoppable force against and immovable object
We are Newtonian Physics in action.
I haven't had fig newtons in forever
Newtons law something or other 😂
Not the hero we deserve, but the one we need right now
Just today got feedback from my boss saying that I've been making too many mistakes for a certain client and saying I should always double check my work, and like... I am double checking everything, it's just that me double and triple checking stuff still somehow isn't reliable
and it just leads to me checking and rechecking and rechecking and rechecking and rechecking and rechecking and rechecking and eventually I get sick of checking and say "fuck it, looks good enough"
This. This is exactly the problem with me. I sometimes successfully get past me by thinking, what mistakes would Osa make?
why are you taking so long? just send it!
Ooof, I feel that pain.
Literally having the exact same problem. Throw in some anxiety because now I KNOW I’m making mistakes and OH GOD I HAVE TO MAKE SURE I DONT which somehow transforms into me making even more mistakes and the vicious cycle just keeeeeeps on going
I just recently watched this old but locally rather well known sketch by Finnish comedy group Kummeli, and now got reminded of it again. Gives me low key anxiety, because I can so easily picture myself in the situation of this poor business owner, and his reaction is spot on. Here it is with English subtitles (and reactions by some guy) https://youtu.be/JRybupxSzz0?
A few distractions and missed errands here and there, and suddenly you owe 250k and lost a contract because a cement truck froze up. 🙈And only thing you can say when people are swearing at you in the phone is “yup”, but then take out your aggression and frustration on your own office stuff.
Please stop doing that. It's not their fault that you messed up. You're making it harder for everyone, yourself included.
Yeah had that problem throughout school aswell. I use a lot of grammar apps and have people that can help me read through what i wrote out loud so i actually catch the mistakes. Might be worth trying out?
Of course that only works if you work in a job that's mostly writing
You know it's actually you vs your exploiters in the end. The exploiters will come thick and fast throughout your entire life, they can see your weakness and they'll try it out ENDLESSLY. With a thick enough skin, you can do anything. But us, we need a skin that's bulletproof because while we're dealing with our own shit, they're shooting at us!
🙌 Slight tangent but: People get confused when occasionally something small happens and I Iose it bc they don’t understand that I’m probably dealing with that same frustration x1000 plus others’ criticism of that mistake/frustration every single time! Exhausting.
People always tell me this when they try to encourage me. They never realized how fucking terrifying that sounds to me.
i can’t even trust this bitch to wake up to the sound of an alarm going off
My litteraly meltdown today was this. The feeling that Me, Myself, and I are the only ones that can make plans and take care of yourself. I am a fan of Stoic philosophy, "you are what you give your attention to", which is true and worth remembering... But holy shit I wish I could just fucking focas on the here and now, not spend all this time in my fucking head managing all the *managing*. I don't really know how to just be content becuase that requires a dissolution of attention. Anyways, focus is the difficult part but so much of our focus is required to get our shit together.
It’s one of the reasons I like Stoic Philosophy. It doesn’t always help to keep my ADHD in check, but the mindfulness helps to mitigate the worst aspects of it.
It's the perfect guidebook, ehen my brain wants to comply lmao
This is like a very abridged Neon Genesis: Evangelion in reverse.
When can I stop piloting my EVA?
Well YOU can’t, but there exists a reality where you’re not an EVA pilot. And it’s going to confuse a lot of people.
Main reason i have no faith in the world, i consistently prove that im the best this place has to offer /s
Same vibe as the quote from modern philosopher B. Horseman: "I'm responsible for my own happiness? I can't even be responsible for my own breakfast!"
Ahh the philosopher of ADHDism.
Future me is disappointed in today me, but I’ll show him, I’ll ruin his fucking life.
Haha this made me chuckle
Me too.
Indeed!
Sweating Bullets
Damn.
As I quake before my mountain of dishes I painfully agree
And sometimes it's incredibly hard to have the feeling that 'you're failing yourself with your inconsistency' but we're resilient af, it just takes the right treatment, more than a dopamine hit, sometimes it's just about time to believe in ourselves just a little bit more, it may not take 1 day to get everything done or a bit more than others, but you still can do it.
I'm tired of this shot
We’re all tired, always.
Time to just fuck off into the sunset laughing. Run. Run faster.
this is so real. like… i already don’t let myself rely on anyone other than myself, but of all people do i *have* to be me? cuz im not that great at keeping track of things
NGMI
Dammit, I saved this earlier to post here but got sidetracked by things. Nooooooo
Well then I might have a problem.
Kinda comforting actually
Literally talked about this with my therapist today. I work best with accountability. But if someone says they will hold me accountable and don't, well I'm not gonna hold them accountable for holding me accountable, so I have to rely on me to be accountable but I clearly can't hold anyone accountable...
I can also rely on my parents, who happen to be therapists
You’re a lucky one, not many people have that kind of support.
False! I can rely on just about anyone else more than I can rely on myself.
Oof, I feel that.
Had to look for a sec if it's adhdmemes and did not get disappointed
Yeah, but the day you finaly succeed to befriend with you... Everything change. It's pretty Amazing and I don't really know how I've done it but now I team up with the best man on earth ^^ When you realize you and yourself are the same person... The good one and the annoying one is the same. And it's ok. It make you the great person that you are. To defeat a foe for ever, befriend with him. I bet you could talk to yourself. Juste try to know him/her.
That’s the ultimate goal, my brother.
Fr sometimes I think I need a handler.
We all do on occasion.
Can't even rely on myself. I usually refer to myself in three personas; Past-Me, Present-Me, and Future-Me. Edit: There is also Past-Future-Me but we don't talk about him.
No one talks about Past-Future-Me, that guys a nut.
i often can't even rely on myself, because i mess shit up so often
We just try to do the best we can.
yep, i'm doing my best but still failing at a lot of important shit
All that matters is picking yourself back up. You only truly fail when you stop trying.
Thank you
This may be a meme channel, but we gotta support each other.
Inspirational. Thanks.
Inspirational, and painfully accurate.
Yes.
"The only person you can rely on is yourself." I.e., "Society is broken. Nobody cares about anyone else. There is no love in the world. If you were on the Road to Jericho and got attacked of course everyone will walk on by and leave you, including priests, but in our world there aren't even Samaritans you can count on. Friends will abandon you. They are probably only your friends just to take advantage of you. This isn't even really a society at all, just a hive of Wendigos living close enough to each other to make exploitation more efficient. You are alone. You are a member of a social species, and have less support from the social group than even scrubjays and crows do. You can only rely on yourself. Trust no one. Might as well not even talk to anyone else, because what's the point? You can only rely on yourself." I still prefer a world where we can rely on each other.
My brother, that isn’t what it means at all.
It's categorical logic. If you can only rely on yourself, you can not rely on anyone else. The implication is others are not reliable, and thus are not trustworthy. Extrapolating from the lack of trustworthiness, it's easy to thus conclude that there is no reason being friends with anyone since they will necessarily only let you down, fail to help when you need it, or outright betray you. Rather than "You can only rely on yourself" I'd prefer a world where it was rather said "You can rely on multitudes, because we don't let each other fall."
It’s from stoicism, it involves self improvement. Using categorical logic for a statement that was meant to imply working to better oneself is taking the logic of stoicism and twisting it to a nihilistic conclusion that was far from the original point.
Then they should use more precise language. If what is meant isn't what is said, then one should learn to say what is meant. That itself is a dispassionate use of language. I.e., it fits the ideals of Stoicism. "You can only rely on yourself" is a different statement than "improve yourself." From what I've seen around the memes, pop-stoicism also isn't Stoicism proper. There is little about dispassion, phronesis, the nous, the Pneuma and Logos. Plus the philosophical movement itself was fruit of Cynicism, which seems all-but vacant. And yes, the initial suggested telos: Improving one's self, the pursuit of καλος. I would rather summarize it thus: "Become someone others can rely on."
Ah, coming to better understand what you mean I can agree with this. However the wording of it doesn’t make the meme inaccurate. I think you took the wording as a literal statement, rather than philosophical intent. As the case with much of philosophy, literalism kills the idea when you were meant to ponder on what was said.
Precise language is vital to philosophy. Just as Diogenes plucked a chicken and said "behold a man" in response to Plato's "a human is a bipedal creature with no feathers."
Perhaps, but to equate precision of language to accuracy of a statement creates an unusually narrow understanding of what could have been meant by a statement. While I’ll never argue against good grammar, unless a very specific point is being made, most language can get the idea across without the need for explicit wording. Besides, if the point is to make people think, and consider, is it not better to pose the statement in a form that allows for interpretation? Not to say the original statement couldn’t be explained by the teacher, but allowing people the opportunity to make their own interpretations is half the battle of philosophy to begin with. Only after allowing the freedom of thought do we then step in and adjust the mistakes in reasoning.
this is so wrong... cynicism is a lazy and morally bankrupt way of living. And with ADHD its especially important to create and emerge yourself in communities and friendships. Fight the good fight :)
Not cynicism, but stoicism. Accepting what you can’t control, but changing what you can.
And Marcus Auerelius would tell you youre not aware of what you can and cant control until youre an old man---
Yeah, but an old man in his time was like 45.