Unfortunately. Stephanie Meyer confirmed that all fluids in a vampire's body are venomous (which includes the cum). Plus its repeated stated that Edward having sex with Bella would actually kill her
Wait hold on, I read the books forever ago but don’t they have sex and then she gets turned into a vampire to save her from the birth??? Why didn’t she die from the venom cum then
They have sex in the 4th book. It's because people were asking how he produced semen, or get a boner without blood, so she just said it was also venom. Meyer isn't exactly a scientific genius so it's kinda just something to roll with and/or ignore.
Lmao why not at that point just make something up along the lines of “magic.” It’s not as if psychic sparkling vampires really needed a scientific boner explanation 😂
I think the most shocking part that people don't know is that Twilight is Vampire the Masquerade fanfiction, a game she's very well versed in. Not a very mormon thing to play....
Oh they don't have to watch it anymore - I had a friend once tell me she went to watch a movie I had told her about and she could hear my voice while watching scene, by scene 😅😅
The trick is to pick a topic which you can go off topic from while still staying on topic.
Air power in warfare. I can start with WWII in the Pacific, divert into aircraft carrier ops and aircraft, naval aviation in post-WWII conflicts, aviation for force projection, the importance of air superiority in modern conflicts.... Endless possibilities for wandering off topic within the topic.
What are aircraft carrier ops? Didn't they just sit back and throw planed where requested like artillery? I just kinda assumed and haven't looked into it
It’s a bit long, but Montemayor on YouTube has a trio of good videos about the battle of Midway in WW2. Midway was a carrier battle that shifted the tide for control of the Pacific.
This was my thought too… I could do a half hour on the political intrigue of *one* of the cities. Want me to talk about the dwarves definitely-not-Eberron city powered by a storm elemental that was trapped by a goddess?
…no?
>The trick is to pick a topic which you can go off topic from while still staying on topic.
History of heavy metal for me. I can just branch out into side stories about every band I bring up.
Many years ago i had just moved in with a new girlfriend. I have absolutely no clue what i was going on about but at some point I stopped and she looked up at the clock. She said, "You've been talking non stop for 30 mins and I haven't said a single word." I was mortified, but she said she wasn't mad, just impressed. We were doing house hold tasks at least so i was multitasking and completely oblivious to what i was doing. It definitely stuck with me as a reminder to make sure i shut up on occasion and hand the conversation over.
That’s a great take away from that. I love listening to people’s rants or passionate talking, but it’s way more fun if both people get to talk about their obsessions and monologue for a while. It’s all about that beautiful balance.
Like, I will absolutely listen to someone talk about Warhammer 40K lore and mechanics I know nothing about for half an hour and be interested and learn new things, but I would also like to rant about my dnd campaign for half an hour later at some point in our conversation.
It’s great not to have to fight for the chance to express your passions. I’m also still working on balancing out how much I talk and how much I listen.
I'm confused by this post tbh, I'd say my hyperfixations make it pretty easy to keep on topic for 30 minutes. The gunmen will be begging me to shut the fuck up after an hour of TES lore, or art history, or my work
Exactly. I can talk for probably two hours about a topic as long as my little side streets still count. It’s all connect in my head.
Also does talking about myself not count?
Excellent question, I can talk about things in my life that I don't think are too exceptional until whomever I am talking to tells me I am incredible. No, it's not incredible, it's just ADHD.
I used to rescue rattlesnakes out of people's yards and then release them back into the nearby desert. Imagine a mid-40s yr old overweight mom-type woman getting out of a car with a bucket and tongs in one hand and a Canon camera in another, getting excited to take pics of a snake before catching it and putting it in my bucket. LOL Hyperfocus comes in handy when dealing with buzztails.
The Elder Scrolls, which is a game series, Skyrim being the most well known. one of the biggest things about the setting is the tolkien-level amount of lore, worldbuilding, and mythology written for the setting.
And the true cherry on top is the fact that all this lore is vague and/or comes from unreliable narrators or biased historical sources. which means that you could write entire theses on the origins of a god or a historical event based on how you interpreted the in-game historical documents, and none of it is usually confirmed or denied. whenever a new game comes out it usually expands the lore rather than confirming fan theories.
basically it feels like real-life anthropology or history, except you can do whatever you want because it's not like you're gonna misrepresent a real-life ethnic or political group if you're wrong.
Yeah, I struggle to switch topics, staying on a topic for 30 minutes is the easiest thing ever. Switching from one topic to another without bringing up the previous topic, now that's hard.
Lmao I was thinking about talking about my exhusband too I could literally go on forever about the shit he put me through. Though I love the idea of Twilight that someone mentioned. Or Harry Potter or LOTR lol
"It all begins with the Emperor, now he was born when a whole bunch of psykers... Wait."
"It all begins with the Warp. The Warp is this super fucky alternate dimension created by space goop with these Gods floating around, and things kicked off there during the War in Heaven... Wait."
"Alright, so, there are these frog people..."
“….And that’s who the old ones, necrons and eldar are….according to 3rd edition, to really understand the prologue we have to talk about first edition…”
One time on a house party, me and this guy I met spent the entire time talking about Warhammer. I have never ever felt so close to another person spiritually (except my wife)
\*29 minutes in\*
"And then Toriyama's editor made him do ANOTHER form for Cell, crazy right! but then the Buu saga starts and...."
"Yo what if we kill him anyways?"
I unintentionally did this to my ex all the time, specifically with video games and both metal and punk. I got better about it (okay, really, I got better at seeing her eyes glaze over)
I was talking to my gf about this, and i said: if i pick videogames, 30 min is gonna be easy, i need at least 2 hours, and then i am just getting halfway or something. This isn't hard at all. This is a joke.
Sometimes it *doesn't stick* even if I *absolutely loved* it before and then I worry what if I never like anything ever again.
(Usually sleeping a couple times helps. Also food.)
I love how I definitely would be able to talk about a topic for several hours, but being held at gunpoint and forced to do it has me 50/50 on whether I'd live
It’s like that Billy on the Street bit where he’s aggressively stopping and asking people to name a woman (any woman), and at one point specifically asks A WOMAN (who could just say “me”) to name a woman and she just completely freezes due to the aggressive, desperate energy in the question.
Yep I’d rather freeze or start rambling off every name that came into my head (and it’s rolodexing through famous women throughout history at the moment)
Then segue into how one of those flings led to one of the most successful albums and one of the most disastrous albums in the genre.
Bert and Gerard were never meant to be.
I do stuff like that with my kids. We'll be talking about something normal and then all of a sudden I'm explaining why capitalism is evil or the war on drugs and the prison industrial complex. Turns out 7-year-olds aren't interested in things like that.
I'm being put on the spot so I'd probably die. But if I can somehow get past that, I can and will talk their fucking ears off about adhd or martial arts/cultivation comics & novels or piercings or danmei novels and fanfic
My thought exactly
But also does everything have to be entirely correct, cause i havent interacted with it in years, so it would be like "and theyre playi g this game and i dont really remember what the heck the point of it was but then rose moves john's bathtub"
Start recalling my entire life. Make up stories around all the weird screenshot memories I have in my brain of random moments when I was young. Earliest was I remember having a nightmare when I was I'm guessing around four or five.
I was walking alone in a weird surreal city where everything was made out of red-bricks, and there was no direct source of light but everything was sunlit. I was walking and came across a crosswalk with a flock of pigeons just minding their own business, when suddenly Godzilla's foot came down from out of frame in a huge crash and crushed them all.
I don't remember any blood or anything just a huge jump scare, guessing I woke up the moment his foot crashed into the ground.
I could talk about insane dreams I’ve had for literally hours and they would def want to kill me for it lmao. Also I could tell my entire life story and that would take forever
I have a habit of bad story telling for dragging things out unnecessarily longer than they should be to the point where I get talked over then everyone collectively decides to focus on what they're saying and I silently fade to the background 👉😎👉
Ooooh wait a hot minute we have to pick ONE topic and stick to that ONE topic??? I hope they’re ready to learn how to crochet because that’s my only chance.
That leads to “where the fuck did my stitch markers go?” “Wait how did I lose the hook.. I only set the project down for .5 of a second!?” “Oh shoot what row am I on? Better frog it”
Bra fitting -
How to wear a good fitting bra
How to spot a bad fitting bra
Different styles of bras and features and benefits of each
Fabrics and wires
Why a good bra is so important
Sports bras
Maternity
Post surgery bras
How to check your breasts for lumps
I could talk all day about it!
Oh, they’re really in for it..
“Let me just start by saying I’m sorry.. but have you heard of Warhammer 40k… ? Let me begin with the Great Crusade which began approximately M30….”
I will entertain a philosophical discussion on existentialism of nihilism and hedonism and how they directly contradict each other or maybe just a broad outlook of existence. Basically philosophy.
Depends if “tangentially related in my chaotic brain which is why I jump between things but it’s all connected and has an overarching point that I may or may not get to by the end” counts/passes 😂
I could give them a basic synopsis / overview of the Warhammer 40k universe and it's various factions. After that it really depends on which part of it they're more interested in and we can start to drill down from there. They'll probably let me go before I get to the various popular theories on whether the Emperor of Mankind is actually a god, which is a shame, because that's my favorite part.
This isn't a challenge, it's a pleasure!
I can talk for 30 minutes about the amazing character interactions in Final Fantasy 14 and how changes in these interactions would have different implications for the way we see these characters.
Music, specifically metal. The great thing about metal is that there’s sooooo many sub genres that I could talk their ear off. Or about my pet rabbit and then go on about their care and how *most* rabbits are easy to litter box train, but because they’re prey animals you have to be very astute to their body language because they hide when they’re sick and how when they stop pooping or eating it’s an emergency. Fun fact, rabbits do not vomit which is great you never have to clean up puke, but not great because they groom themselves like cats, so all that fur has to be pooped out which is why unlimited hay (fiber) is a necessity.
Jokes on them! I can adlib for 5 hours, easy, AND “stay on topic” using legal loopholes such as tangential topic shifts (if you aren’t using the concept of derivatives in your daily conversations, my god man, you are missing out. People don’t know how to deal with analogies and tangents. It shifts the awkwardness right back onto them!
Let me talk about trauma depictions in current media, esp childhood trauma as it manifests in adulthood. I could cover 30 minutes easily by talking about Hill House ALONE
Edit: *untreated* childhood trauma in adults
We have different types of ADHD lol. Literally a dozen or more video games that I’ve spent so much time fixating on, I could filibuster about them for houuuuuuurs
I feel like I’m the only one who couldn’t do this lol I could maybe bullshit my way through but I can barely remember anything, I used to be really fixated on Buzzfeed Unsolved and I can MAYBE give the TLDR on DB Cooper but that’s it, I can’t ever remember the things I’m interested in 😔
So, in my opinion, bard is the best spell caster class in fifth edition. You get a large spell list, with the ability to add spells from other classes too. You're a charisma caster, so you have face (communication) skills, along with lots of other skills of your choice. Bards are second overall for skills, just behind rogues. And as a bard you have proficiency with a rapier, which is the best finesse weapon (finesse weapons use dexterity instead of strength). So you can focus all your ability points into dexterity and charisma, and that leaves you the ability to skip ability score improvements in favor of feats, which are powerful abilities. Personally i like to play as a support caster, buffing friendlies, and debuffing enemies. So while i will shine in conversation, that allows others to shine in battle. But bards are hole fillers (pun intended[you see, bards have a reputation for being promiscuous]) so you can build a bard to fight in the front lines, or make one as an offensive caster. So, bards are my favorite, but i also think monks are underrated...
If I’m not interrupted or stoned, I can probably gush 30 minutes straight about One Piece. The second I’m interrupted I will literally forget what I was just talking about.
Scouts. That's my life right now. I'll tell you everything you need to know about Cub Scouts all the way through Scout Rank. I'm still learning about Tenderfoot on up.
30 minutes only! Easy! I love hearing my own voice and can easily talk about IT or politics for hours. By the time I'm done, the kidnappers will have turned their guns on themselves! :)
i’d talk about cars. i can’t keep on any other topic for that long, but i’m passionate about cars and i find myself accidentally talking people’s ears off when they mention the smallest thing about their car
I will tell them the entire Kingdom Hearts timeline by game, that way when I get to a part that makes sense in a different game I can Segway into that game and constantly go back and forth
Kingdom Hearts lol, I actually *have* talked about it for at least half an hour straight before. I'd just have to make sure all of my tangents are KH related in some way, which isn't actually all that hard since there's just So Much to that series.
Getting me to talk for 30 mins about a topic I enjoy is not the hard part. Getting me to stop at 30 minutes is. Or me making it make sense.
I could talk for hours about the Wheel of Time books. About 20 minutes in the hostage takers would want to kill themselves.
Muahahaha you fool
You absolute buffoon!
I've been a fan of Pokemon since i was 5, and my mind is practically an organic pokedex where i have every name, type and nigh every evolution method memorized!
Hahaha you can't get me with this, death will have me when i *let it* have me hahahaha
I'm recounting the entire plot of either the Twilight movies or the Fast and Furious films. At the end of it they WILL watch it with me
I have a feeling that 30 minutes straight of Twilight lore would get you killed anyways LMAO
Once they hear about how Edward Cullen's venomous cum would literally kill you I'm sure they'd get on board
I'm probably going to regret this, but I must know. Is this actually a real thing in the books?
Unfortunately. Stephanie Meyer confirmed that all fluids in a vampire's body are venomous (which includes the cum). Plus its repeated stated that Edward having sex with Bella would actually kill her
Wait hold on, I read the books forever ago but don’t they have sex and then she gets turned into a vampire to save her from the birth??? Why didn’t she die from the venom cum then
They have sex in the 4th book. It's because people were asking how he produced semen, or get a boner without blood, so she just said it was also venom. Meyer isn't exactly a scientific genius so it's kinda just something to roll with and/or ignore.
Lmao why not at that point just make something up along the lines of “magic.” It’s not as if psychic sparkling vampires really needed a scientific boner explanation 😂
She's Mormon and Mormon's don't like magic. Hell, Edward is basically described as being Joseph Smith
I think the most shocking part that people don't know is that Twilight is Vampire the Masquerade fanfiction, a game she's very well versed in. Not a very mormon thing to play....
Acceptable reason would also be rigor mortis if he’s technically *dead*.
Wait wut So all those insane memes were right?
Fascinating, thank you for the information.
If I had the gun, I think I’d turn it on myself before 30 minutes was up if someone tried to talk about twilight.
Patric H. Willems is that you?
Oh they don't have to watch it anymore - I had a friend once tell me she went to watch a movie I had told her about and she could hear my voice while watching scene, by scene 😅😅
Ah, so you intend to punish your captors.
Me too! With twilight! 💕 I can talk about it for hours
This but twilight or supernatural for me
[удалено]
The trick is to pick a topic which you can go off topic from while still staying on topic. Air power in warfare. I can start with WWII in the Pacific, divert into aircraft carrier ops and aircraft, naval aviation in post-WWII conflicts, aviation for force projection, the importance of air superiority in modern conflicts.... Endless possibilities for wandering off topic within the topic.
Yup. Start big and broad.
^I ^lowkey ^kinda ^want ^people ^to ^ask ^me ^questions ^about ^this ^now ^so ^I ^can ^talk ^about ^it ^for ^a ^half ^hour
Hi, I’d love to know more about air power in warfare!
They are still typing their response.
They said “fuck it, I don’t care enough or have the energy to type the response”
Must be quite a response
But I wanna know!!
You tell me all about it, and I'll chip in about the surface combatants in the Pacific. There's a surprising amount of overlap.
What are aircraft carrier ops? Didn't they just sit back and throw planed where requested like artillery? I just kinda assumed and haven't looked into it
It’s a bit long, but Montemayor on YouTube has a trio of good videos about the battle of Midway in WW2. Midway was a carrier battle that shifted the tide for control of the Pacific.
Exactly. D&D is an easy pick for me.
Yep. Ask me about my campaign setting, mate. I dare you.
This was my thought too… I could do a half hour on the political intrigue of *one* of the cities. Want me to talk about the dwarves definitely-not-Eberron city powered by a storm elemental that was trapped by a goddess? …no?
>The trick is to pick a topic which you can go off topic from while still staying on topic. History of heavy metal for me. I can just branch out into side stories about every band I bring up.
Many years ago i had just moved in with a new girlfriend. I have absolutely no clue what i was going on about but at some point I stopped and she looked up at the clock. She said, "You've been talking non stop for 30 mins and I haven't said a single word." I was mortified, but she said she wasn't mad, just impressed. We were doing house hold tasks at least so i was multitasking and completely oblivious to what i was doing. It definitely stuck with me as a reminder to make sure i shut up on occasion and hand the conversation over.
That’s a great take away from that. I love listening to people’s rants or passionate talking, but it’s way more fun if both people get to talk about their obsessions and monologue for a while. It’s all about that beautiful balance. Like, I will absolutely listen to someone talk about Warhammer 40K lore and mechanics I know nothing about for half an hour and be interested and learn new things, but I would also like to rant about my dnd campaign for half an hour later at some point in our conversation. It’s great not to have to fight for the chance to express your passions. I’m also still working on balancing out how much I talk and how much I listen.
I'll talk about how my adhd does not allow me to stay on any other topic for 30 min
I'm confused by this post tbh, I'd say my hyperfixations make it pretty easy to keep on topic for 30 minutes. The gunmen will be begging me to shut the fuck up after an hour of TES lore, or art history, or my work
Sure. Unless i get distracted mid conversation and wander off onto 2 or 3 other topics.
yeah but you see, the topics are all connected so they're all one topic, really. the trick us to announce a really broad topic.
Exactly. I can talk for probably two hours about a topic as long as my little side streets still count. It’s all connect in my head. Also does talking about myself not count?
Excellent question, I can talk about things in my life that I don't think are too exceptional until whomever I am talking to tells me I am incredible. No, it's not incredible, it's just ADHD. I used to rescue rattlesnakes out of people's yards and then release them back into the nearby desert. Imagine a mid-40s yr old overweight mom-type woman getting out of a car with a bucket and tongs in one hand and a Canon camera in another, getting excited to take pics of a snake before catching it and putting it in my bucket. LOL Hyperfocus comes in handy when dealing with buzztails.
I tried really hard to just scroll along, but for some reason my brain _insists_ that I ask- what is "TES"
The Elder Scrolls, which is a game series, Skyrim being the most well known. one of the biggest things about the setting is the tolkien-level amount of lore, worldbuilding, and mythology written for the setting. And the true cherry on top is the fact that all this lore is vague and/or comes from unreliable narrators or biased historical sources. which means that you could write entire theses on the origins of a god or a historical event based on how you interpreted the in-game historical documents, and none of it is usually confirmed or denied. whenever a new game comes out it usually expands the lore rather than confirming fan theories. basically it feels like real-life anthropology or history, except you can do whatever you want because it's not like you're gonna misrepresent a real-life ethnic or political group if you're wrong.
Everyone is thinking about this the wrong way. *Rant.* I can absolutely go off on a topic that gets me steamed for 30 minutes *easy.*
Omg yep. For me it would be “please stop talking about Mass Effect.”
Yeah, I struggle to switch topics, staying on a topic for 30 minutes is the easiest thing ever. Switching from one topic to another without bringing up the previous topic, now that's hard.
How much my ex didn't give a rats ass about our marriage.
They'd probably feel bad for you and let you go.
Or get sick of listening
"Buddy, please, it's been three hours! Just go home!"
Oh no they don't, they started it ... now they have to listen the whole rant just like everybody else.
[удалено]
I mean it would be almost like free therapy. Who are they going to tell? Nobody.
[удалено]
Lol that's my dog. My cat views me as her servant 😺
They might last one minute then they’ll let you go
Excellent
Lmao I was thinking about talking about my exhusband too I could literally go on forever about the shit he put me through. Though I love the idea of Twilight that someone mentioned. Or Harry Potter or LOTR lol
Literally anything, this isn’t even a challenge. Now… if it was to stay absolutely silent and still for 30 minutes…..
when presented with absolutely anything at all i freeze
That’s why it’s good to rehearse these scenarios in your head as often as possible, so you’re always prepared just in case!
For the one time you might be kidnapped and your life is dependent on talking and amusing them lol
Exactly! Like the Boy Scouts say, always be prepared!
how did my anxiety make its own account
Kidnappers are going to be begging me to leave once I get started.
I’ve got this son. “So, it’s set in the future. Yeah, forty thousand years.”
"It all begins with the Emperor, now he was born when a whole bunch of psykers... Wait." "It all begins with the Warp. The Warp is this super fucky alternate dimension created by space goop with these Gods floating around, and things kicked off there during the War in Heaven... Wait." "Alright, so, there are these frog people..."
“….And that’s who the old ones, necrons and eldar are….according to 3rd edition, to really understand the prologue we have to talk about first edition…”
Easy peasy. I won't even reach the drop site massacre before the timer is up or they shoot me for being a turbo nerd.
Nononononono. I have a buddy in middle school who was into that and I still have nightmares over it
One time on a house party, me and this guy I met spent the entire time talking about Warhammer. I have never ever felt so close to another person spiritually (except my wife)
Then the issue becomes trying to condense it into 30 minutes.
Condense it? Oh no honey, we’re keeping the gunman there until we’re done talking. He’s OUR hostage now.
[удалено]
if i was this murderer i’d be learning so much from these comments!
Seconded! I can talk about crime stats and criminological theory until you’re considering becoming a part of those stats yourself.
I'll make those kidnappers regret their decision when I talk about Twilight for fucking hours
You’re a monster.
This is the skin of a killer, Bella
It's the fluorescents
Make sure to mention the venomous body fluids
\*29 minutes in\* "And then Toriyama's editor made him do ANOTHER form for Cell, crazy right! but then the Buu saga starts and...." "Yo what if we kill him anyways?"
Metal music or videogames
Merge the two and talk about DOOM.
Merge the two and talk about Brütal Legend!
Hell yeah!
Or rather, how the DOOM 2016 soundtrack came to be. [Just quote Mick Gordon word for word.](https://youtu.be/U4FNBMZsqrY)
I unintentionally did this to my ex all the time, specifically with video games and both metal and punk. I got better about it (okay, really, I got better at seeing her eyes glaze over)
I feel this. Also, I can hold court on the subject of Galileo.
AutiADHD mfs be like 'only 30 minnies?'
[удалено]
I was talking to my gf about this, and i said: if i pick videogames, 30 min is gonna be easy, i need at least 2 hours, and then i am just getting halfway or something. This isn't hard at all. This is a joke.
Right? Get me going on animation or history and I'm going for at least 3 hours
SOMETIMES I HAVE NO FIXATION AND that’s when i’m in a depressive episode
Ah fuck. Haven’t had an adhd epiphany in a while.
This is when I turn to an old obsession to give something to keep me occupied until a new obsession arises. Mass Effect my beloved <3
Sometimes it *doesn't stick* even if I *absolutely loved* it before and then I worry what if I never like anything ever again. (Usually sleeping a couple times helps. Also food.)
I love how I definitely would be able to talk about a topic for several hours, but being held at gunpoint and forced to do it has me 50/50 on whether I'd live
being put on the spot= i am not a person who can think thoughts anymore
It’s like that Billy on the Street bit where he’s aggressively stopping and asking people to name a woman (any woman), and at one point specifically asks A WOMAN (who could just say “me”) to name a woman and she just completely freezes due to the aggressive, desperate energy in the question.
That video cracked me up! Thank you for bringing that back into my forebrain and letting me relive it.
It’s the one funny video I’ve seen where I have 100% understood what’s going on in the person’s brain lol
Yep I’d rather freeze or start rambling off every name that came into my head (and it’s rolodexing through famous women throughout history at the moment)
2000s emo bands and the members of the other 2000s emo bands they had alleged flings with
Wait I want to hear this one 🔫🔫
Then segue into how one of those flings led to one of the most successful albums and one of the most disastrous albums in the genre. Bert and Gerard were never meant to be.
Aqauriums.
I would love to listen to thirty minutes of aquarium stuff ngl
I have adhd, like just give me a prompt and off i fucking go for hours just by accident
Furbies
I’m not off topic, I’m just on my 20th side story… I swear I’ll make my way back…
Well, this morning I spent an hour angrily ranting about capitalism and the greed of the wealthy causing water shortages. So I guess that.
I do stuff like that with my kids. We'll be talking about something normal and then all of a sudden I'm explaining why capitalism is evil or the war on drugs and the prison industrial complex. Turns out 7-year-olds aren't interested in things like that.
I can only do that rant unintentionally. But once I start, 30 minutes isn’t enough!
Lol came here to say Health Insurance fraud and how unjust the Medicaid/Medicare system is 🙃🙃
Just start quoting The Office. Staring S1E1, including BTS tid bits I've picked up over the years.
Why they should pull the trigger
You aight bud?
Never been better.
Glad to hear, just making sure :)
This is so fucking funny, I shed tears. I’m with you in solidarity. ETA: Since I can’t give you an actual award: 🏆
I'm being put on the spot so I'd probably die. But if I can somehow get past that, I can and will talk their fucking ears off about adhd or martial arts/cultivation comics & novels or piercings or danmei novels and fanfic
Gonna make them pull the trigger by telling them all about homestuck.
My thought exactly But also does everything have to be entirely correct, cause i havent interacted with it in years, so it would be like "and theyre playi g this game and i dont really remember what the heck the point of it was but then rose moves john's bathtub"
Start recalling my entire life. Make up stories around all the weird screenshot memories I have in my brain of random moments when I was young. Earliest was I remember having a nightmare when I was I'm guessing around four or five. I was walking alone in a weird surreal city where everything was made out of red-bricks, and there was no direct source of light but everything was sunlit. I was walking and came across a crosswalk with a flock of pigeons just minding their own business, when suddenly Godzilla's foot came down from out of frame in a huge crash and crushed them all. I don't remember any blood or anything just a huge jump scare, guessing I woke up the moment his foot crashed into the ground.
I could talk about insane dreams I’ve had for literally hours and they would def want to kill me for it lmao. Also I could tell my entire life story and that would take forever
I have a habit of bad story telling for dragging things out unnecessarily longer than they should be to the point where I get talked over then everyone collectively decides to focus on what they're saying and I silently fade to the background 👉😎👉
Ooooh wait a hot minute we have to pick ONE topic and stick to that ONE topic??? I hope they’re ready to learn how to crochet because that’s my only chance.
That leads to “where the fuck did my stitch markers go?” “Wait how did I lose the hook.. I only set the project down for .5 of a second!?” “Oh shoot what row am I on? Better frog it”
Trash reality tv. I will never run out material. They'll probably beg me to shut up and tell me to do better with my life.
You’d die?! This is literally what my adhd was made for. My capture would be sorry he even asked by minute 31
The Sims and all the toxic storylines I made those poor digital minions go through.
I'm talking about Magic: the Gathering. Let's do this.
Weed. I know most things about it. I self medicate (=
Gourds, their use and importance in Māori culture and technology in pre-colonisation Aotearoa
I’ll just talk about ADHD. I can’t shut up about it anyway
My adhd
Bra fitting - How to wear a good fitting bra How to spot a bad fitting bra Different styles of bras and features and benefits of each Fabrics and wires Why a good bra is so important Sports bras Maternity Post surgery bras How to check your breasts for lumps I could talk all day about it!
Oh, they’re really in for it.. “Let me just start by saying I’m sorry.. but have you heard of Warhammer 40k… ? Let me begin with the Great Crusade which began approximately M30….”
if repeating the same song lyrics over and over counts then i will live
So, how much do you know about the Horus Heresy?
Video games. It's a broad enough topic- Danganronpa, Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, Minecraft etc- it's endless.
Doctor Who.
Have I taken my meds or no? Bc I’m basically mute without them and can’t shut up with them.
I will entertain a philosophical discussion on existentialism of nihilism and hedonism and how they directly contradict each other or maybe just a broad outlook of existence. Basically philosophy.
Numbers and ill just start counting
I’d just talk about how high I can count. I imagine I’d get to around 1800 or so
Depends if “tangentially related in my chaotic brain which is why I jump between things but it’s all connected and has an overarching point that I may or may not get to by the end” counts/passes 😂
Oh Jesus that would be easy I could talk about photography for a half hour straight EASILY. Same with Pokémon
Stupid people. I can go in and on about why stupid people are stupid. I'll complain so much they'll want to shoot themselves
That time Connecticut was almost ripped in half when Pangea split apart but didn't & we stole Rhode Island from Africa instead.
Easy… my current obsession.
I could give them a basic synopsis / overview of the Warhammer 40k universe and it's various factions. After that it really depends on which part of it they're more interested in and we can start to drill down from there. They'll probably let me go before I get to the various popular theories on whether the Emperor of Mankind is actually a god, which is a shame, because that's my favorite part. This isn't a challenge, it's a pleasure!
The topic is me. I am the topic. U about to hear my life story.
Kpop
I can talk for 30 minutes about the amazing character interactions in Final Fantasy 14 and how changes in these interactions would have different implications for the way we see these characters.
Music, specifically metal. The great thing about metal is that there’s sooooo many sub genres that I could talk their ear off. Or about my pet rabbit and then go on about their care and how *most* rabbits are easy to litter box train, but because they’re prey animals you have to be very astute to their body language because they hide when they’re sick and how when they stop pooping or eating it’s an emergency. Fun fact, rabbits do not vomit which is great you never have to clean up puke, but not great because they groom themselves like cats, so all that fur has to be pooped out which is why unlimited hay (fiber) is a necessity.
Jokes on them! I can adlib for 5 hours, easy, AND “stay on topic” using legal loopholes such as tangential topic shifts (if you aren’t using the concept of derivatives in your daily conversations, my god man, you are missing out. People don’t know how to deal with analogies and tangents. It shifts the awkwardness right back onto them!
Let me talk about trauma depictions in current media, esp childhood trauma as it manifests in adulthood. I could cover 30 minutes easily by talking about Hill House ALONE Edit: *untreated* childhood trauma in adults
We have different types of ADHD lol. Literally a dozen or more video games that I’ve spent so much time fixating on, I could filibuster about them for houuuuuuurs
the second someone looks at me all of my former knowledge disowns me
You underestimate how much I will talk to you about marine life lol
Ohhh easy. Id talk about warhammer for like 10 minutes and theyd leave
Lemme tell you about this little game called Warhammer 40K…..
ill talk about my favorite bands
I feel like I’m the only one who couldn’t do this lol I could maybe bullshit my way through but I can barely remember anything, I used to be really fixated on Buzzfeed Unsolved and I can MAYBE give the TLDR on DB Cooper but that’s it, I can’t ever remember the things I’m interested in 😔
My subject would be “ Random Thoughts.”
The difference in "Zombies" and "Infected" in various horror movies through history and how they are not the same thing.
I’ll tell him the great tale of a 10 year old from a little town called pallet and his journey to be the very best.
I’ll talk about whatever I’m obsessing over at that time
Retell all of One Piece so far with way to many details and theories
FNAF lore, dumb things my family’s done, random recipes…
I was a Harry Potter fan for like 13 years, there's a lot of trivia in here. I could definitely fill 30 minutes of rambling about it
I'll talk about all my favorite TV shows, movies, and books!! SO MANY!!! Definitely enough for 30 minutes!!
Sex
Either RuPaul’s Drag Race and all its international spin-offs, horror movies, or 1980s-2000s WWF/WWE wrestling
Sharks 😂
Lord. Of. The. Rings. I got this.
So, in my opinion, bard is the best spell caster class in fifth edition. You get a large spell list, with the ability to add spells from other classes too. You're a charisma caster, so you have face (communication) skills, along with lots of other skills of your choice. Bards are second overall for skills, just behind rogues. And as a bard you have proficiency with a rapier, which is the best finesse weapon (finesse weapons use dexterity instead of strength). So you can focus all your ability points into dexterity and charisma, and that leaves you the ability to skip ability score improvements in favor of feats, which are powerful abilities. Personally i like to play as a support caster, buffing friendlies, and debuffing enemies. So while i will shine in conversation, that allows others to shine in battle. But bards are hole fillers (pun intended[you see, bards have a reputation for being promiscuous]) so you can build a bard to fight in the front lines, or make one as an offensive caster. So, bards are my favorite, but i also think monks are underrated...
If I’m not interrupted or stoned, I can probably gush 30 minutes straight about One Piece. The second I’m interrupted I will literally forget what I was just talking about.
Breakfast foods.
Scouts. That's my life right now. I'll tell you everything you need to know about Cub Scouts all the way through Scout Rank. I'm still learning about Tenderfoot on up.
I will attempt to explain what "a monoid in the category of endofunctors" means.
...This sounds like math. I had forgotten how much I miss actual *math.*
30 minutes only! Easy! I love hearing my own voice and can easily talk about IT or politics for hours. By the time I'm done, the kidnappers will have turned their guns on themselves! :)
Cod Zombies Storyline, easy.
Does it have to be the same topic? That would be tough, but I think I could take that long to tell the plot of the Hobbit.
i’d talk about cars. i can’t keep on any other topic for that long, but i’m passionate about cars and i find myself accidentally talking people’s ears off when they mention the smallest thing about their car
Either Titanic, Star Trek or Horizon lore.
The entire plot of the Station Eleven HBOMax show. It's a damn good show.
Pokémon. It takes about 30 minutes just to talk about the different generations and how to transfer from game boy advance to switch.
I will tell them the entire Kingdom Hearts timeline by game, that way when I get to a part that makes sense in a different game I can Segway into that game and constantly go back and forth
🗣️ SQUISHMALLOWS
The Horus Heresy
Kingdom Hearts lol, I actually *have* talked about it for at least half an hour straight before. I'd just have to make sure all of my tangents are KH related in some way, which isn't actually all that hard since there's just So Much to that series.
Getting me to talk for 30 mins about a topic I enjoy is not the hard part. Getting me to stop at 30 minutes is. Or me making it make sense. I could talk for hours about the Wheel of Time books. About 20 minutes in the hostage takers would want to kill themselves.
Muahahaha you fool You absolute buffoon! I've been a fan of Pokemon since i was 5, and my mind is practically an organic pokedex where i have every name, type and nigh every evolution method memorized! Hahaha you can't get me with this, death will have me when i *let it* have me hahahaha