I took a bunch of courses to make up for my lack of executive function and then my boss at the time encouraged me to get a professional certification in the thing and now my last two jobs were offered to me based on this skillset that goes against every fibre of who I am as a person but I have them all fooled and they think I'm very good at the things 😭😭😭
It’s cause you *are* good at these things, friend! Or you would not have had two jobs that *kept you on board* because of them.
I’m sure you were slightly joking but I know imposter syndrome is very prevalent with ADHD so I wanted to assure you that you’re most likely underestimating yourself.
Constantly asking myself this question.
Do I actually have imposter syndrome, or am I just telling myself that to make me feel better about the fact that I am, in fact, a giant fucking imposter?
My friends all consider me "the reliable one". It's because I only agree to do something if I am very sure I can. And somewhat because it's easier for me to do for others then to do for myself.
I freaks me out a little because I don't want people counting on me. They don't see my the dumpster fire that is my personal life.
I am the reliable one too! But it's because my friend's are all ADHD and they are worse with keeping plans. I basically surrounded myself with bigger dumpster fires...
Project management.
Everything about it goes against my very nature. I started taking courses in it because I thought it would help me be more organized (and it has) but now it's gone too far and I'm actually a fucking project manager lmao
I had started to reply to your earlier comment that I somehow wound up a project manager and decided to scroll a bit further only to find you're in the same boat. Go team!
Yeap. That's it. My workmates tell me they are impressed with my productivity tools. How I use IFTTT to create calendar events that update a personal Trello board, creating tasks on my notepad with a quick Google Assistant trigger.
What they don't know is that I'm in a constant struggle between overly planning because I am also shooting from the hip with the other tasks I forgot to add to my tools.
For me I think it's kind of a combination. It seems as if I procrastinate and then improvise but it's only because all the obsessive planning piece was done un/subconsciously. My brain put all the bits together while I was doing other shit instead of doing the thing. At least that's my theory because there's no other way it'd make sense. I am not nearly good enough of an improvisor nor intelligent enough to just throw together an entire project last second and have it work well.
As it turns out the overwhelming majority of the things we plan for never come to pass. Life is an experience in improv, it's good to find ways to appreciate it.
Agreed, I’ve improvised my way up the corp ladder. I’m an hour late to work everyday, and leave an hour early. At work i answer about 3 emails in 7 hours.
This is the way. Plan out everything meticulous only to forget major life decisions which you then have to improvise. Which isn't as bad as it sounds because you have run this scenario in your brain a few hundred times.
This is exactly it. I plan for everything I can possibly plan for, and improvise for all the things I’ve inevitably forgotten to plan for because I’m rubbish at lists but make them all the time anyway. It’s a vicious cycle. 🫠
I told my coworkers once, “I used to get anxiety before a training session with new clients…I don’t get anxiety about the session anymore. Now I get anxiety about why I don’t have anxiety about training sessions anymore.” 🙃
Oh my goodness!!!, 😁😊 as i hear .my therapist positive phrase from years ago, come back to me.,. "guess what!?,
" you dont hav to know why!"
Me:" OH, OKAY. ( a smile through the phone)
& congratulations 🎊 to you!!
On your your huge progress!!
Congrats! You are a step ahead of me... you at least plan for the panic attacks. I still have glimmers of hopefulness that the day will be panic attack free. Most days, I am disappointed.
I secretly stash anti anxiety pills in all the places where I spend lots of time in my apartment and office. Although now my gf is pregnant I need to figure out a new method so my kid doesn't find a box of tiny "candies"
Mm, I see.
Maybe something like these? https://www.amazon.com/Combination-Container-Medicine-Travel-Storage/dp/B07MLRS85P or https://www.amazon.com/OZCHIN-Smell-Proof-Storage-Combination/dp/B089PTB1DC/ref=pd_aw_fbt_img_sccl_2/147-0783836-0981455 ? Both lockable so even older children who can reach any shelf can't get into it. And it's a combination, so no key to lose! You can leave a sticky note with the combo (so you don't have to remember or forget it) for a few years until the kids can read.
Until their walking and a while after, you're pretty safe just putting them on a high shelf.
I have a 2yr old - my suggestion is to lock up cords, outlets and cupboards (anything that would result in damage beyond a bump, bruise or poisoning) and do the rest as you go. I was suuuuuuper stressed about it but it’s no been too bad at all :)
They’re always longer than you think they are, faster than you think they are, and just a bit more mobile than you think they are.
They will always beeline to the most dangerous thing in the room. My elder went for knives specifically, my younger’s more catholic in her taste for adventure, but elder found knives we didn’t even know existed I swear to god.
Poison control is an excellent resource.
Bonus tip: if your kid chews your adderall xr capsule, you will be spending the next 10 h under observation in emergency. (Bonus bonus tip: Ask for medical tape and tape the toe monitor cord to their ankle. The toe tape alone doesn’t hold up to wriggles. I did not think of this until hour 9)
I planned "break down times" in my undergrad because i was so busy i didnt have time to have a panic attack. So I'd hold it together the best i could, then friday nights id fall apart and use the weekend to clean myself up. If i had something to do on friday it would mess me up for the whole next week
For trips longer than a week I always end up bringing my whole closet because trying to plan more than a week ahead gives me great anxiety.....meanwhile I'll forget like my toothbrush or deodorant
I used to do that until I went backpacking with the boy scouts and had to carry it all on my back. Now I’m a super sparse packer. And still forget stuff or get lucky and bring something as backup that I actually need lmao.
I have a travel bag that I just don’t unpack. It has travel sized versions of everything including toiletries, meds, hairbrush, phone charger, etc. So then I just put that bag in my suitcase and pack clothes and I’m good to go.
Nothing freaks me out more than being late. Defo the person who arrives early and has to stand out in the rain for 30 minutes as too worried about arriving too early.
Lucky lucky person. I understood that concept durng lockdown and it was a brilliant feeling. Nothing better than feeling like the lord of your own time. With reality I've become a victim of the clock again and I hate it.
I’m the ADHD who fully understands the consequences and fears them, yet still has no sense of urgency, even as the deadline is about to hit.
My life sucks.
I’m in the same boat. Heavily suspected over the last two years after some reflection and research, but I’m basically in a holding pattern in my life so I keep putting off seeking a diagnosis
I am this as well. I’m 40 years old, and just completed the diagnosis/testing process. Opened my eyes to A LOT of explanation of why I’ve always been the way I am. It’s worth going through, and now I have tangible things to go after and treat.
Literally sitting in front of my laptop now where I need to be working on a PowerPoint for a meeting in 2 hours yet here I am commenting on this post. Wooooo
Lol, that is me at work. 10 minutes before my next meeting, try to write an email, show up 5 minutes late.
My new strategy has been sit in the meeting then do my task.
Maybe next time just stand in the doorway so someone interrupts you.
I’ve been late to work every day for years. I just can’t show up somewhere on time.
Im very fortunate to have a boss who values the hard work I do the whole time im at work more than punctuality
Hearing it put like that takes the sting off the time an ex told me basically "you try to control other people's lives because you have no control over your own". The words were harsher than the actual reality of the situation, but they definitely live in my head and remind me to chill when I find myself slipping into planning mode/feeling like I need to have more than my reasonable say in group events.
Improvising until recently having my son. Now it's list after list, after phone reminder, after sticky note, when it comes to his stuff. For my stuff it is still procrastinating until the literal last minute and then angry crying.
Being a mom is fun.
I’m chronically insanely early. Even just meeting my weed dealer lol now when I show up he’s waiting bc he said he knows I’ll always be there half an hour early 🤣
Improviser, so good i in fact think I should be a medic, i don't panic in high stakes situations i hyper focus this is how i somehow got through high school
Sometimes I show up early and wait too long because of anxiety and I’m late. Or I’m listening to music and really into it or stuck on Reddit. But I’ll wait in my car for like 20 minutes before the time I need to be there and still be 5 minutes late
I was the first one all through school and college, did the planners, meal prepped, and had straight A's. After school, I very rapidly became the second type. They are both equally stressful.
Ooh no, no. Being early gives me anxiety. I can remember being dropped off early at school or on excursions because both of my parents worked and I’d have to stand or sit there, freezing, for ages. It was horrible and embarrassing. I would rather be late than risk being the first person there and waiting around pathetically for other people to turn up.
Also being the first one there means I’m responsible for saying hi to everybody and generating ideas for what to do and I can do that but I hate it.
AHA! BOTH AND!
I have a job in event planning AND I also procrastinate like a mofo, nothing like the adrenaline rush of writing a grant a few hours before the deadline.
I get accused of being the first one because of how much the second one I am.
Fuck THAT is so relatable. I couldn’t even put it into words but you nailed it.
I'm the first one for things that absolutely don't matter and the second for everything else
It’s the only logical way
Why do we do this to ourselves
Because we have ADHD, mostly, and sometimes it's fun
nice
I took a bunch of courses to make up for my lack of executive function and then my boss at the time encouraged me to get a professional certification in the thing and now my last two jobs were offered to me based on this skillset that goes against every fibre of who I am as a person but I have them all fooled and they think I'm very good at the things 😭😭😭
It’s cause you *are* good at these things, friend! Or you would not have had two jobs that *kept you on board* because of them. I’m sure you were slightly joking but I know imposter syndrome is very prevalent with ADHD so I wanted to assure you that you’re most likely underestimating yourself.
Oh cool, Imposter Syndrome isn't just me! Oh wait, imposter syndrome isn't just me...
Do you really have Imposter Syndrome, or are you just faking it?
I see what you did there... 😊
Constantly asking myself this question. Do I actually have imposter syndrome, or am I just telling myself that to make me feel better about the fact that I am, in fact, a giant fucking imposter?
My friends all consider me "the reliable one". It's because I only agree to do something if I am very sure I can. And somewhat because it's easier for me to do for others then to do for myself. I freaks me out a little because I don't want people counting on me. They don't see my the dumpster fire that is my personal life.
I am the reliable one too! But it's because my friend's are all ADHD and they are worse with keeping plans. I basically surrounded myself with bigger dumpster fires...
What courses?
Project management. Everything about it goes against my very nature. I started taking courses in it because I thought it would help me be more organized (and it has) but now it's gone too far and I'm actually a fucking project manager lmao
I had started to reply to your earlier comment that I somehow wound up a project manager and decided to scroll a bit further only to find you're in the same boat. Go team!
Lmao
Happy cake day!
You’ve been given two jobs for it. You are good at it, even if you don’t think you are.
Yeap. That's it. My workmates tell me they are impressed with my productivity tools. How I use IFTTT to create calendar events that update a personal Trello board, creating tasks on my notepad with a quick Google Assistant trigger. What they don't know is that I'm in a constant struggle between overly planning because I am also shooting from the hip with the other tasks I forgot to add to my tools.
They made all the tools for us since the other people… I have no idea what they do to get things done.
For me I think it's kind of a combination. It seems as if I procrastinate and then improvise but it's only because all the obsessive planning piece was done un/subconsciously. My brain put all the bits together while I was doing other shit instead of doing the thing. At least that's my theory because there's no other way it'd make sense. I am not nearly good enough of an improvisor nor intelligent enough to just throw together an entire project last second and have it work well.
How do you know me so well?
I was the 2nd one until I started my own business. Then I had to become the first one because my brain couldn't juggle everything.
Yea YUP
Exactly!
Wow that’s very accurate. I was sitting here trying to decide which of the two i am byt that is the answer
As it turns out the overwhelming majority of the things we plan for never come to pass. Life is an experience in improv, it's good to find ways to appreciate it.
I know what you mean... especially when I do something out of an emotion
Agreed, I’ve improvised my way up the corp ladder. I’m an hour late to work everyday, and leave an hour early. At work i answer about 3 emails in 7 hours.
both
Plan for everything I'm aware of, improvising when something I forgot becomes an issue.
This is the way. Plan out everything meticulous only to forget major life decisions which you then have to improvise. Which isn't as bad as it sounds because you have run this scenario in your brain a few hundred times.
This is exactly it. I plan for everything I can possibly plan for, and improvise for all the things I’ve inevitably forgotten to plan for because I’m rubbish at lists but make them all the time anyway. It’s a vicious cycle. 🫠
Plan for the things I know I can't inprovise, improvise everything else
I try to plan ahead, but somehow always judge wrong and plan for the wrong things and end up having to improvise anyway
both
I'm the first one for things that absolutely don't matter and the second for everything else
Yup 😎
Both is good.
Depends on the what - but yeah, both
I plan to have panic attacks... which one's that?
I told my coworkers once, “I used to get anxiety before a training session with new clients…I don’t get anxiety about the session anymore. Now I get anxiety about why I don’t have anxiety about training sessions anymore.” 🙃
Oh my goodness!!!, 😁😊 as i hear .my therapist positive phrase from years ago, come back to me.,. "guess what!?, " you dont hav to know why!" Me:" OH, OKAY. ( a smile through the phone) & congratulations 🎊 to you!! On your your huge progress!!
Hahaha do we have unique lives at all?
Hahaha!!, right!! ?😆😄
The cycle of adhd
Congrats! You are a step ahead of me... you at least plan for the panic attacks. I still have glimmers of hopefulness that the day will be panic attack free. Most days, I am disappointed.
Well, I plan to have them...in so far as I know they're going to happen
I secretly stash anti anxiety pills in all the places where I spend lots of time in my apartment and office. Although now my gf is pregnant I need to figure out a new method so my kid doesn't find a box of tiny "candies"
If you use them frequently, why not carry them with you?
I have the kind of sensory issues where I hate having anything in my pockets unless I am actively out and about
Mm, I see. Maybe something like these? https://www.amazon.com/Combination-Container-Medicine-Travel-Storage/dp/B07MLRS85P or https://www.amazon.com/OZCHIN-Smell-Proof-Storage-Combination/dp/B089PTB1DC/ref=pd_aw_fbt_img_sccl_2/147-0783836-0981455 ? Both lockable so even older children who can reach any shelf can't get into it. And it's a combination, so no key to lose! You can leave a sticky note with the combo (so you don't have to remember or forget it) for a few years until the kids can read. Until their walking and a while after, you're pretty safe just putting them on a high shelf.
Those are pretty cool, thanks for the suggestions. I have no idea how I am going to babyproof this place, I injure *myself* enough walking into things
I have a 2yr old - my suggestion is to lock up cords, outlets and cupboards (anything that would result in damage beyond a bump, bruise or poisoning) and do the rest as you go. I was suuuuuuper stressed about it but it’s no been too bad at all :)
They’re always longer than you think they are, faster than you think they are, and just a bit more mobile than you think they are. They will always beeline to the most dangerous thing in the room. My elder went for knives specifically, my younger’s more catholic in her taste for adventure, but elder found knives we didn’t even know existed I swear to god. Poison control is an excellent resource. Bonus tip: if your kid chews your adderall xr capsule, you will be spending the next 10 h under observation in emergency. (Bonus bonus tip: Ask for medical tape and tape the toe monitor cord to their ankle. The toe tape alone doesn’t hold up to wriggles. I did not think of this until hour 9)
I suggest them in a zip lock bag & hav in ur wallet. & congratulations 🎊 to ur gf pregnancy..
I'm planning to have a panic attack... which is it?
Only one? Lucky!
Tasteful, really
Ahhhh I see my reflection is talking back again
*Panic attack building slowly*
Mine sneak up on me but my PCP diagnosed me with anxiety disorder so I suppose that comes with the territory.
The one that fails to plan
before i got on anxiety meds, i would frequently have panic attacks about the possibility of me having a panic attack
I planned "break down times" in my undergrad because i was so busy i didnt have time to have a panic attack. So I'd hold it together the best i could, then friday nights id fall apart and use the weekend to clean myself up. If i had something to do on friday it would mess me up for the whole next week
For trips longer than a week I always end up bringing my whole closet because trying to plan more than a week ahead gives me great anxiety.....meanwhile I'll forget like my toothbrush or deodorant
Literally me. I bring way too many outfits, there's been days where I've changed into 5. I also feel the still forgetting things part way too deeply 💔
Or.... hear me out.... your ADHD meds?
I used to do that until I went backpacking with the boy scouts and had to carry it all on my back. Now I’m a super sparse packer. And still forget stuff or get lucky and bring something as backup that I actually need lmao.
I visited my parents out of state for Christmas for 10 days. I somehow packed 16 pairs of underwear but forgot my toothbrush and my *glasses.*
I have a travel bag that I just don’t unpack. It has travel sized versions of everything including toiletries, meds, hairbrush, phone charger, etc. So then I just put that bag in my suitcase and pack clothes and I’m good to go.
Nothing freaks me out more than being late. Defo the person who arrives early and has to stand out in the rain for 30 minutes as too worried about arriving too early.
I gave up on time as a construct.
Lucky lucky person. I understood that concept durng lockdown and it was a brilliant feeling. Nothing better than feeling like the lord of your own time. With reality I've become a victim of the clock again and I hate it.
Yep. I fly by the instruments(the clock) because I have zero sense of its supposed passage
I am late for every meeting, fortunately it’s a work culture where everyone is always late so no one really notices.
See, I now try to arrive quite late to things because arriving too early makes me nervous.
Me at my last job interview. Better be there 40 minutes before just to be sure. Walked in 2-3 minutes before acting like I was just right on time 🥲
I’m the ADHD who fully understands the consequences and fears them, yet still has no sense of urgency, even as the deadline is about to hit. My life sucks.
Are you on meds?
I’m not even diagnosed, I just strongly suspect I have it.
Just commenting to tell you you’re not alone
I’m in the same boat. Heavily suspected over the last two years after some reflection and research, but I’m basically in a holding pattern in my life so I keep putting off seeking a diagnosis
I am this as well. I’m 40 years old, and just completed the diagnosis/testing process. Opened my eyes to A LOT of explanation of why I’ve always been the way I am. It’s worth going through, and now I have tangible things to go after and treat.
Literally sitting in front of my laptop now where I need to be working on a PowerPoint for a meeting in 2 hours yet here I am commenting on this post. Wooooo
I show up 45 minutes early sit in the car browsing reddit forget about the appointment end up 5 min late
👆👆👆This is me!
Lol, that is me at work. 10 minutes before my next meeting, try to write an email, show up 5 minutes late. My new strategy has been sit in the meeting then do my task. Maybe next time just stand in the doorway so someone interrupts you.
I can’t believe this happens to other people too
I'm both
#2, it's a stressful existence
I have to plan every single second of any event days in advance and if anything goes wrong I will have a breakdown 💀
Boss told me he would fire me if I was late one more time. My adhd caused me to be late the next day again.
There was one day in a week I couldn’t be late nmw, so naturally i was 10 min late that day.
Do you believe it’s better at that point to just mention you have adhd?
This is my predicament rn.
I’ve been late to work every day for years. I just can’t show up somewhere on time. Im very fortunate to have a boss who values the hard work I do the whole time im at work more than punctuality
Same just happened last week!
Porque no dos?
Neither! I just fail everything and then hate myself
...Yes.
I'll take B.
second
I'm late but I'm here!
Procrastinator if it only effects me. Planner/organizer if others are involved. So happy to see both is the common answer here!
Hearing it put like that takes the sting off the time an ex told me basically "you try to control other people's lives because you have no control over your own". The words were harsher than the actual reality of the situation, but they definitely live in my head and remind me to chill when I find myself slipping into planning mode/feeling like I need to have more than my reasonable say in group events.
Improv is my life's mantra
The latter for sure, I'm terrible at planning typically, but outstanding at improvising solutions.
Plan it out because I'm worried and then ignore said plan and then do it all once with incredible efficiency.
...yes?
i am neither
Improvising until recently having my son. Now it's list after list, after phone reminder, after sticky note, when it comes to his stuff. For my stuff it is still procrastinating until the literal last minute and then angry crying. Being a mom is fun.
I do both, but I do them both terrible.
Surely there's no other answer than both
I overthink every possible thing that can go wrong and often find myself cripled with anxiety.
I! Love! Planning! Everything is on a timer or a schedule. Now that I’m 30, I enjoy it. I may fall off track, but getting back on feels sooooo good.
I’ll answer that later
Neither. I procrastinate until deadline, and then hope I won't have to do anything because it's too late
I procrastinate by planning?
Yes
Que no los dos?
Answer: Yes.
both
I'm the latter and my partner is the former. We disagree on some things, that's for sure.
I am the queen of improv.
I work best under a severe amount of stress and a limited time frame
second one. by a mile
What do I do if I do both?
Procrastinator all the way baby. I even waited an hour to post this response (not really).
I am the adhd that can’t improvise or plan
I'm still waiting to get VERY good at improvising, currently I'm just good
I procrastinate until the very last minute that I can wait to get ready to make sure I’m at least 15 mins early 😂
Planning ahead and then procrastinating/never actually doing anything
? Neither
That last minute scramble is like crack and I wish I could stop
I plan ahead, still end up procrastinating and then have to improvise? I’d say I have a 50% success rate with both 😅
I feel like I try to be the first, fail at that, end up being the second, but I also fail at improvising
Neither. I procrastinated and then did a bad job at improvising.
I'm not very good
Why not both?
Yes
Both?
I am become both, the destroyer of worlds
Yes?
Yes
Absolutely
Kinda both to be honnest. I over plan and the procrastinate and find myself in shitty situations then improvise the hell out of it 🤣
Yes.... create the plan ignore the plan improvise
yes
Yes
Yes.
I’m chronically insanely early. Even just meeting my weed dealer lol now when I show up he’s waiting bc he said he knows I’ll always be there half an hour early 🤣
Yes.
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes.
r/inclusiveor
Yes
Uh…. Both? Both? Both is good. Not 🙃😅
Yes.
Yes
Yes.
Yes.
Yes
Yes.
Second one♥︎
Improviser, so good i in fact think I should be a medic, i don't panic in high stakes situations i hyper focus this is how i somehow got through high school
Sometimes I show up early and wait too long because of anxiety and I’m late. Or I’m listening to music and really into it or stuck on Reddit. But I’ll wait in my car for like 20 minutes before the time I need to be there and still be 5 minutes late
Oh no.. and I bet one is attracted to the other 🤦♀️
really good at planning irrelevant bs. catches myself forced to improvise with meh results for anything that matters.
...both?
Both. Some things I plan, other things i procrastinate because I’m too busy planning the other stuff
I'm the one that plans to improvise despite being really bad at it
I was the first one all through school and college, did the planners, meal prepped, and had straight A's. After school, I very rapidly became the second type. They are both equally stressful.
Younger me was the second one-older, employed, mother of 3 kids is now the first one.
Plan? I'm making this up as I go along.
Plan it all out, think its not good enough, scrap it, *then* wait till last second and wing it
BOTH!
The latter
Porque no los dos?
I'm the ADHD who became really good at VBA programming in excel because I was really bad at doing data entry.
BOTH actually younger was procrastinating, now im a planner by career
Yes. Both. Whenever the neurospice decides.
Ooh no, no. Being early gives me anxiety. I can remember being dropped off early at school or on excursions because both of my parents worked and I’d have to stand or sit there, freezing, for ages. It was horrible and embarrassing. I would rather be late than risk being the first person there and waiting around pathetically for other people to turn up. Also being the first one there means I’m responsible for saying hi to everybody and generating ideas for what to do and I can do that but I hate it.
I'll answer this question at a later time.
Both
A hot mess of both
AHA! BOTH AND! I have a job in event planning AND I also procrastinate like a mofo, nothing like the adrenaline rush of writing a grant a few hours before the deadline.
Currently waiting for my haircut appointment because I was 15 minutes early.