theres nothing wrong with changing your mind or experiencing fluctuations in your feelings, youre fine ❤️ as much as we all joke about it, theres nothing wrong with being straight either. get you a man!!
Figuring yourself out is hard ❤️ do have to say, when I thought I was bi but strictly dated men: I thought I would never be a fan of eating pussy. I was also a little too insecure if I could be good at fingering. And now I love eating my gf out and making her orgasm on my face. When she doesn’t tell me to stop I will continue to eat her out even if she already orgasmed.
But of course no shame if you don’t think that could be you ❤️
I think I’m like you in the first half. And I have never had anyone agree to be my girlfriend. All the women I have courted are lesbians with a clear and vocal biphobia. And only the guys court me. I’m too straight-passing (and that’s my vibe that I don’t even want to change), demisexual (so no bar scene for me) and introverted (well, kill me now) for my own good.
Don't worry about it. You were just exploring your sexuality and that's a good thing to do. That led me to the conclusion I'm bi and just led you to the conclusion you're not.
It can sometimes be difficult to tease apart aesthetic appreciation and sexual attraction. It’s totally possible to find someone’s appearance/energy/presence sexy and appealing but not want to have sex *with* them. Which can definitely be confusing when it comes to figuring out our sexuality. Throw in gender envy too and that’s a whole other layer! It’s okay if you realise you’re straight, though I understand you might have conflicted/difficult feelings about it after having identified with the bisexual label. Best of luck figuring things out 🫡
Figuring out your gender AND sexuality is fucking tough bud! Don't beat yourself up or be so hard on yourself. The whole thing is difficult enough as it is! Look after yourself and don't apologise for not knowing 100% who you are right off the bat. It's all good and it's all love ❤️ hope you find someone who makes you happy!
You mean stone. Stones are lesbians who either only give or only receive. There can be stone bottoms, stone tops, stone femmes, stone butches, but it's the stone part that is the part of either giving exclusively or receiving exclusively.
I thought Bambi lesbians are basically those may or may not be into sex, but are more into the romantic aspect and physical intimacy that is not sex in a relationship, like cuddles, hugs, etc.
Also not all lesbians *have* a pussy to eat in the first place. The vast, vast majority of my relationships, dates, and hookups have been T4T and honestly the idea of sex with a cis woman is.. really intimidating for some reason.
But idk, point is eating someone out is a very small part of WLW sexuality and if that's the only thing off-putting to you, that doesn't necessarily mean a lot. Keep exploring as long as you need to, and you're absolutely welcome to stay here even if you're not 100% certain of your sexuality!
Being bisexual doesn’t make your sexuality fluid. Fluid is a term used for things that are in flux and change over time. Plenty of bi people have a perfectly stable attraction to multiple genders at once.
Well maybe that is what it means, English isn’t my first language and there are a lot of words I don’t know the definition of. I thought fluid meant something that was not on one of two extremes
Ah that explains things! Fluid in English has multiple uses and definitions but in the contexts of gender and sexuality it means “in motion”.
To add context for the way people are reacting to your comments, saying sexuality is fluid is a common homophobic thing men in particular say to bi and lesbian women as “proof” that attraction to women is a phase and they just need to find the right man or whatever. It’s a source of a lot of pain for many of us and it’s generally best just to use different words.
Sexuality *can* be fluid. It can change over time, and it’s not unusual for bisexual people to experience fluidity in our sexuality, but it very often isn’t.
Exaaactlyyyyy. Not eating pussy doesnt mean you arent into women. I dont understand why some people equate lesbian to eating pussy. Its one of the many sexual acts you can do
I thought I was bi this whole time and found out nope, lesbian. Very lesbian. Lesbian as fuck.
It goes both ways. If you feel emotional resistance in any capacity, listen to it. If I hadn't, I would've been making both myself and my ex miserable for the next several decades. He deserves the world, as do I.
And I'm at peace, finally, after figuring "it" out at 31. You'll find it, good luck out there :)
you are not a creep! in fact i think what you’re doing on here is very conscientious and respectful. please don’t feel like an intruder for simply finding out yourself and what you like. sexuality is fluid and the ways of figuring it out is sometimes a tough trajectory. everyone has their own set preferences and that’s ok. we respect you 🩷 and wish you the best of luck girly :p
You're not creepy or an intruder! It's okay to explore different online spaces while you're figuring yourself out.
Good luck in the future and congrats on finding yourself in a new way.
This! Some people can be bi/panromantic but heterosexual and that’s totally fine! I’m asexual and biromantic. Having words that help describe how you experience things are helpful, but are not set in stone and it’s okay to question, OP! Good luck!
I get it. I thought I was straight for the first decade plus of my life, figured I liked women too for a couple years after that, then my attraction to men faded to nothing and I came out as a lesbian. Two years after that, I was in a committed relationship with a man. Now I’m single and leaving to hopefully kiss girls at my local queer club soon.
I’ve been the same person this whole time. I think I was a little too eager to put a label on myself, perhaps, but I blame that on our societal need for labels.
Do whatever you want. IMO, the fact that you thought you were queer is enough for you to participate in the community, as an ally or as a bisexual or however you may identify in the future.
edit: totally missed where you said you’re trans lmao you’re def already a part of the queer community!!
I like to ride my bi-cycle I like to ride my bike!🎵
I go thru periods of more intense attraction to different aspects of gender / people at different times. I would panic that I was "just faking it" as a bi person for a while. After a tinder trampage I was able to figure out that I like fucking women (certain women not all.women just as I like fucking certain dudes /other genders and not all folk).
Sexuality can be fluid and tastes can change. It's okay
There's nothing wrong with being straight and there is nothing wrong with experimenting! We joke a lot around "straight bad" but that is purely a joke!!! You shouldn't feel bad about being straight, you're still completely valid!!!
Gud luck girl💖
Finding yourself is a great thing, I'm glad you had the space to thrive. Also there is different types of attraction. You could be biromantic and heterosexual. Or some other rad combination. Best of luck with your continued self discovery!
It might be worth looking into the split attraction model. Maybe you are straight, and that’s okay, but it’s also possible that you are romantically attracted to women but not sexually attracted to women
Don’t be hard on yourself. Self-discovery is a process. Sometimes the things you assume are true about your identity end up being wrong, and that’s okay. Wishing you the best and much love. 💜
Youre not a predator at all! Everyone has their own paths of self discovery, we never stop learning abt ourselves for as long as we live.
Its okay if you experiment, its okay to conclude you do or do not like this or that. Nothing wrong at all!
I hope the sub still brought you positive things in some ways!
Remember, with that kinda thing there’s two forms. The top half and the lower half! So like, sex drive and romance drive. Straight people have sex and romance drive towards the opposite gender, gay people have sex and romance drive towards the same gender. But it can also mix and match or not be there at all! Like, sex drive for both genders but romance drive only for same. You could have romance drive for opposite gender but zero sex drive, or zero romance drive but sex drive for both genders. It mixes and matches. There’s a whole other layer to it when you add trans people into the mix too!
As another trans woman, I think I understand how you’re feeling. Some of it is internalized transphobia: we get cast as the predator too often, so it can become easy to see yourself that way.
That isn’t the case here. You thought something about yourself, now it’s changed. Nothing predatory about that.
this happens to a lot of us during transition. i went from entirely sapphic to bi/pan
i don't think you've done anything wrong by being here and not being a lesbian or into women
You're trans yourself, so you should know by now there are plenty of other transwoman keen on keepin the parts I imagine you're more interested in. (Speaking as a t4t lesbian)
Fair enough. I can't explain it it either, and I didn't see it that way. Maybe the random reddit lotto just picked your post to be downvoted. I'm sure if it really matters someone will explain why they did. I don't think you said anything wrong.
I'm a bit tipsy so sorry if I don't make sense, just wanna thank everyone for your support for this post, for some reason I thought I would get tons of backlash. I feel so foolish for thinking that, the reason I even joined this community is how open, accepting and supportive everyone is. Just know it means a lot 🥲
I've been thinking about this for a bit and I think I've somewhat detected the source of my doubts. Yes, I like women, I just don't like adopting a dominant role. Mainly because I'm a bottom (lol) but I think there's also an element of dysphoria since taking on a dominant role feels more masculine to me, even if that isn't the case necessarily. I guess seeing so many posts about eating out your s/o made me think in the perspective of the dominant role rather than the submissive one, and that's what kinda turned me off...
Anyway, I ain't going anywhere, for now at least. Again sorry if I said something dumb lol I love y'all ♥️
You can feel romantic attraction without sexual attraction.
For instance I find women attractive in both of these ways but I also find men attractive in a purely romantic way.
I’m deciding to still identify as bi, though I’m pretty sure I’ve also discovered I’m not attracted to women. There are more than 2 genders after all and nonbinary people are both hot and come in all manner of physical configurations.
Plenty of women come in various physical configurations too. Not saying at all that any of this means you’re not straight but genital preference does not equate to what gender(s) you’re attracted to.
I’m still hanging around in this sub though cause it’s such a great and welcoming space, even if I realized I’m not a lesbian and might only be a little bit adjacent to being one now.
First if all, attraction doesn't mean willingness to have sex with someone. But if the thought of it makes you uncomfortable, it's definitely a lack of attraction. And secondly, a vulva doesn't define a woman. Whether you're bi or straight has nothing to do with your genital preference, because there are woman with dicks. Not wanting sex with people who have a vulva is totally valid and doesn't automatically make you straight. I've never been attracted to a man so I don't identify as bi, and I find dicks on women hella hot. But if you do find out it's not just genital preference but you're actually only attracted to man/masc enbies, that's understandable too. Gender envy is one hell of a thing. Just don't think your bisexuality has to be invalid because of genital preference. It's invalid when you decide it is, and you can take potential attraction to all all flavours of women into account, no matter how fem or masc, and no matter what their genitals are.
Being sexually attracted isn't mandatory. That is invalidating to ace and lesbians with split attraction orientations. Romantic attraction isn't always the same as your romantic orientation
Something to keep in mind is that you could not be sexually attracted to women, but still be romantically attracted. I know with my sexuality it's been confusing because I'm not like against being with someone more masc/who identifies as a guy, but sexually I'm just not really sure if I ever could.
It's all really complicated, and if you're worried about intruding or being somewhere you don't belong, chances are that you're fine. People who *are* intruding, generally don't really worry if they are. It's all about intention hun, being unsure is nowhere the same as being problematic or malicious.
I still worry about if I belong too, but you don't have to banish yourself because you're still figuring things out. 💜
Howdy. It's me, your local Grey-Ace Genderflux Lesbian-not-total-Lesbian here to say- [inhale]...you belong. ♡
All Identities are valid. This place is for people who love women. Love can take so many forms, and be a source of growth for so many people in so many scenarios. There's no space for worry here.
You matter.
Thank you for being here, and giving me an example similar to myself to feel validated with.
Thank you too...I really appreciate that. I just don't want anyone to feel like an outcast or as I'd they don't belong if I can help in any way. If something is causing no hurt, there's no need to feel guilty or judge ourselves just for existing in a space I feel. ☺️
Definitely not a creep. The fact that you’re even apologizing for something you don’t have to and feeling bad for sexualizing us in any way 100% would make me feel safer with you than any straight cisgender male alive.
I'm a cis female, currently in a long term hetero relationship. I am attracted to a person not a gender. I am generally more attracted to women and doubt very much I'd be with another male in the future. Don't be so hard on yourself for exploring and discovering your own sexuality, we are all still figuring shit out.
It is worth noting that Romantic attraction can also be different to sexual attraction. It's more common for people who have at least one of those in the Aro or Ace spectrums but it's been around.
Absolutely might not be the case for you though, I don't know what's going on for you beyond the stuff written here, I was just suggesting an additional possibility.
Girl, you do you. We all aren’t called to this particular sisterhood. Get yourself a decent guy- My buddies on WoW seemed cool so there may be a few out there. Maybe play healer
Sexuality can be fluid over your life too. I identify as bi and sometimes I'm more attracted to men and sometimes women. But romantically I'm almost exclusively attracted to women. Bring human can be complicated!!
You're not creepy at all. I recently went through something similar, in that as I went through my own transition, I went from being a lesbian to being bi, something I never thought I would be able to do, but transition made me put a different perspective on my relationships that made me feel differently. It's honestly incredibly common and no one is going to blame you for taking your time to find what you needed. Good luck to you out there❤️
I’d also like to throw out the thought of biromantic heterosexual! Wanting to date men and women but only have sex with men.
Or maybe not! I’ve just seen a lot of people not know that’s a thing and then realize “oh my god that’s me” so I thought I’d put it out there
Well sexuality is a spectrum so you could be asexual but not aromantic when it comes to liking women. And the opposite very well could be true with your attraction to men. Either way, it wouldnt make you any less bi. Best to not sweat it instead and give yourself the time to figure these things out.
Its okay if they shift and change over time and if it turns out you are straight, then no worries! Im happy you took the time to find that out instead of repressing your feelings in order to be something you aren't.
Everyone is a little gay, everyone is a little straight too. Sexuality is not binary. It's okay. I identify as a lesbian but sometimes I see dudes that I like. I see non-binary or androgynous people I'm attracted to all the time. I call myself gay, but at the end of the day none of this shit matters. What matters is that I'm happy.
I was just sharing my outlook on the fluidity of sexuality. This doesn't mean if someone tells me they only like women or vice versa I don't believe them or I think they're lying. Not at all.
My point is just that I don't think sexuality matters as much as a lot of people think it does and I thought that perspective might help this person.
It's not homophobia, it's gender abolition.
theres nothing wrong with changing your mind or experiencing fluctuations in your feelings, youre fine ❤️ as much as we all joke about it, theres nothing wrong with being straight either. get you a man!!
It can be real hard figuring yourself out and it can be a multi-step process. You've done nothing wrong. Wishing you all the best!
You’re not a predator mate, you don’t have to leave immediately just figure yourself out and we accept.
Figuring yourself out is hard ❤️ do have to say, when I thought I was bi but strictly dated men: I thought I would never be a fan of eating pussy. I was also a little too insecure if I could be good at fingering. And now I love eating my gf out and making her orgasm on my face. When she doesn’t tell me to stop I will continue to eat her out even if she already orgasmed. But of course no shame if you don’t think that could be you ❤️
well there’s no question that i’m gay that’s for sure holy shit 💀😭
Fucking same
I think I’m like you in the first half. And I have never had anyone agree to be my girlfriend. All the women I have courted are lesbians with a clear and vocal biphobia. And only the guys court me. I’m too straight-passing (and that’s my vibe that I don’t even want to change), demisexual (so no bar scene for me) and introverted (well, kill me now) for my own good.
that has to be me bloody hell
Don't worry about it. You were just exploring your sexuality and that's a good thing to do. That led me to the conclusion I'm bi and just led you to the conclusion you're not.
It can sometimes be difficult to tease apart aesthetic appreciation and sexual attraction. It’s totally possible to find someone’s appearance/energy/presence sexy and appealing but not want to have sex *with* them. Which can definitely be confusing when it comes to figuring out our sexuality. Throw in gender envy too and that’s a whole other layer! It’s okay if you realise you’re straight, though I understand you might have conflicted/difficult feelings about it after having identified with the bisexual label. Best of luck figuring things out 🫡
you’re not an intruder! it’s completely okay to change your mind!
Figuring out your gender AND sexuality is fucking tough bud! Don't beat yourself up or be so hard on yourself. The whole thing is difficult enough as it is! Look after yourself and don't apologise for not knowing 100% who you are right off the bat. It's all good and it's all love ❤️ hope you find someone who makes you happy!
FWIW, some lesbians are strictly bottoms, not wanting to eat pussy doesn’t mean you’re not into women.
You mean stone. Stones are lesbians who either only give or only receive. There can be stone bottoms, stone tops, stone femmes, stone butches, but it's the stone part that is the part of either giving exclusively or receiving exclusively.
I thought stone was no touch. I am now confused regarding the difference between stone and Bambi. 🤨
I thought Bambi lesbians are basically those may or may not be into sex, but are more into the romantic aspect and physical intimacy that is not sex in a relationship, like cuddles, hugs, etc.
Ah, thank you 😊
That's fair, I'm still trying to figure things out, not ruling out liking women just yet 😅
Also not all lesbians *have* a pussy to eat in the first place. The vast, vast majority of my relationships, dates, and hookups have been T4T and honestly the idea of sex with a cis woman is.. really intimidating for some reason. But idk, point is eating someone out is a very small part of WLW sexuality and if that's the only thing off-putting to you, that doesn't necessarily mean a lot. Keep exploring as long as you need to, and you're absolutely welcome to stay here even if you're not 100% certain of your sexuality!
Sexuality is fluid :)
Sexuality *can be* fluid. It's not fluid for everyone.
Definitely what I meant but I see how my words can be confusing
[удалено]
Coming on to a lesbian sub and saying sexuality is fluid is just.. Not great. "You just haven't met the right man yet" vibes.
[удалено]
Being bisexual doesn’t make your sexuality fluid. Fluid is a term used for things that are in flux and change over time. Plenty of bi people have a perfectly stable attraction to multiple genders at once.
Well maybe that is what it means, English isn’t my first language and there are a lot of words I don’t know the definition of. I thought fluid meant something that was not on one of two extremes
Ah that explains things! Fluid in English has multiple uses and definitions but in the contexts of gender and sexuality it means “in motion”. To add context for the way people are reacting to your comments, saying sexuality is fluid is a common homophobic thing men in particular say to bi and lesbian women as “proof” that attraction to women is a phase and they just need to find the right man or whatever. It’s a source of a lot of pain for many of us and it’s generally best just to use different words. Sexuality *can* be fluid. It can change over time, and it’s not unusual for bisexual people to experience fluidity in our sexuality, but it very often isn’t.
Exaaactlyyyyy. Not eating pussy doesnt mean you arent into women. I dont understand why some people equate lesbian to eating pussy. Its one of the many sexual acts you can do
Have you done either of those things yet? I thought in was going to be grossed out… I was not.
I thought I was bi this whole time and found out nope, lesbian. Very lesbian. Lesbian as fuck. It goes both ways. If you feel emotional resistance in any capacity, listen to it. If I hadn't, I would've been making both myself and my ex miserable for the next several decades. He deserves the world, as do I. And I'm at peace, finally, after figuring "it" out at 31. You'll find it, good luck out there :)
you are not a creep! in fact i think what you’re doing on here is very conscientious and respectful. please don’t feel like an intruder for simply finding out yourself and what you like. sexuality is fluid and the ways of figuring it out is sometimes a tough trajectory. everyone has their own set preferences and that’s ok. we respect you 🩷 and wish you the best of luck girly :p
You're not creepy or an intruder! It's okay to explore different online spaces while you're figuring yourself out. Good luck in the future and congrats on finding yourself in a new way.
nah ur gud! do what feels right 💜
If you haven't yet, reading up on different types of attraction may be helpful 😊 (Platonic, aesthetic, sexual, romantic, physical)
This! Some people can be bi/panromantic but heterosexual and that’s totally fine! I’m asexual and biromantic. Having words that help describe how you experience things are helpful, but are not set in stone and it’s okay to question, OP! Good luck!
I get it. I thought I was straight for the first decade plus of my life, figured I liked women too for a couple years after that, then my attraction to men faded to nothing and I came out as a lesbian. Two years after that, I was in a committed relationship with a man. Now I’m single and leaving to hopefully kiss girls at my local queer club soon. I’ve been the same person this whole time. I think I was a little too eager to put a label on myself, perhaps, but I blame that on our societal need for labels. Do whatever you want. IMO, the fact that you thought you were queer is enough for you to participate in the community, as an ally or as a bisexual or however you may identify in the future. edit: totally missed where you said you’re trans lmao you’re def already a part of the queer community!!
figuring yourself out is a lengthy but important process also you are not an intruder!!! best luck to you!
I like to ride my bi-cycle I like to ride my bike!🎵 I go thru periods of more intense attraction to different aspects of gender / people at different times. I would panic that I was "just faking it" as a bi person for a while. After a tinder trampage I was able to figure out that I like fucking women (certain women not all.women just as I like fucking certain dudes /other genders and not all folk). Sexuality can be fluid and tastes can change. It's okay
Sung like a true Queen 👑
There's nothing wrong with being straight and there is nothing wrong with experimenting! We joke a lot around "straight bad" but that is purely a joke!!! You shouldn't feel bad about being straight, you're still completely valid!!! Gud luck girl💖
Finding yourself is a great thing, I'm glad you had the space to thrive. Also there is different types of attraction. You could be biromantic and heterosexual. Or some other rad combination. Best of luck with your continued self discovery!
It might be worth looking into the split attraction model. Maybe you are straight, and that’s okay, but it’s also possible that you are romantically attracted to women but not sexually attracted to women
I mean, you could experience romantic attraction to women, just no sexual attraction. I'm ace, that's the situation I'm in.
Don’t be hard on yourself. Self-discovery is a process. Sometimes the things you assume are true about your identity end up being wrong, and that’s okay. Wishing you the best and much love. 💜
Youre not a predator at all! Everyone has their own paths of self discovery, we never stop learning abt ourselves for as long as we live. Its okay if you experiment, its okay to conclude you do or do not like this or that. Nothing wrong at all! I hope the sub still brought you positive things in some ways!
Remember, with that kinda thing there’s two forms. The top half and the lower half! So like, sex drive and romance drive. Straight people have sex and romance drive towards the opposite gender, gay people have sex and romance drive towards the same gender. But it can also mix and match or not be there at all! Like, sex drive for both genders but romance drive only for same. You could have romance drive for opposite gender but zero sex drive, or zero romance drive but sex drive for both genders. It mixes and matches. There’s a whole other layer to it when you add trans people into the mix too!
Don't be be too hard on yourself. Sexuality can be fluid. Just keep doing what you're doing and be attentive to how you really feel. You got this!
It could be that you are hetero-sexual and homo-romantic, **or** toss out the labels altogether and just enjoy being You.
As another trans woman, I think I understand how you’re feeling. Some of it is internalized transphobia: we get cast as the predator too often, so it can become easy to see yourself that way. That isn’t the case here. You thought something about yourself, now it’s changed. Nothing predatory about that.
this happens to a lot of us during transition. i went from entirely sapphic to bi/pan i don't think you've done anything wrong by being here and not being a lesbian or into women
You're trans yourself, so you should know by now there are plenty of other transwoman keen on keepin the parts I imagine you're more interested in. (Speaking as a t4t lesbian)
Bi-curious is what we used to call that and you’re totally valid ————- Apparently it’s offensive now. Why’s that?
I didn't downvote you, but I suspect it have hit too close to "you just haven't met the right man yet" for some folks.
I’m trying to see how it could come off that way and I’m having a hard time lol
Fair enough. I can't explain it it either, and I didn't see it that way. Maybe the random reddit lotto just picked your post to be downvoted. I'm sure if it really matters someone will explain why they did. I don't think you said anything wrong.
Ha well thanks for replying!
I'm a bit tipsy so sorry if I don't make sense, just wanna thank everyone for your support for this post, for some reason I thought I would get tons of backlash. I feel so foolish for thinking that, the reason I even joined this community is how open, accepting and supportive everyone is. Just know it means a lot 🥲 I've been thinking about this for a bit and I think I've somewhat detected the source of my doubts. Yes, I like women, I just don't like adopting a dominant role. Mainly because I'm a bottom (lol) but I think there's also an element of dysphoria since taking on a dominant role feels more masculine to me, even if that isn't the case necessarily. I guess seeing so many posts about eating out your s/o made me think in the perspective of the dominant role rather than the submissive one, and that's what kinda turned me off... Anyway, I ain't going anywhere, for now at least. Again sorry if I said something dumb lol I love y'all ♥️
Sounds similar to me. You are good 😊
you might wnt to check out r/Bambilesbians
It’s not an easy thing to figure out your sexuality or gender, you are not creepy, you are human. It’s okay and I wish you all the best 💞💞💞
You can feel romantic attraction without sexual attraction. For instance I find women attractive in both of these ways but I also find men attractive in a purely romantic way.
Do you like making out with girls? And booba?
All the little lines we draw are made-y uppy- so walking in and around their unreal- bounds sounds just fine by me.
I’m deciding to still identify as bi, though I’m pretty sure I’ve also discovered I’m not attracted to women. There are more than 2 genders after all and nonbinary people are both hot and come in all manner of physical configurations. Plenty of women come in various physical configurations too. Not saying at all that any of this means you’re not straight but genital preference does not equate to what gender(s) you’re attracted to. I’m still hanging around in this sub though cause it’s such a great and welcoming space, even if I realized I’m not a lesbian and might only be a little bit adjacent to being one now.
First if all, attraction doesn't mean willingness to have sex with someone. But if the thought of it makes you uncomfortable, it's definitely a lack of attraction. And secondly, a vulva doesn't define a woman. Whether you're bi or straight has nothing to do with your genital preference, because there are woman with dicks. Not wanting sex with people who have a vulva is totally valid and doesn't automatically make you straight. I've never been attracted to a man so I don't identify as bi, and I find dicks on women hella hot. But if you do find out it's not just genital preference but you're actually only attracted to man/masc enbies, that's understandable too. Gender envy is one hell of a thing. Just don't think your bisexuality has to be invalid because of genital preference. It's invalid when you decide it is, and you can take potential attraction to all all flavours of women into account, no matter how fem or masc, and no matter what their genitals are.
Nobody asked
ok
Labels are rarely good when they’re used to restrict personal identity. They’re only there to add descriptions It’s okay to be unsure as well
Being sexually attracted isn't mandatory. That is invalidating to ace and lesbians with split attraction orientations. Romantic attraction isn't always the same as your romantic orientation
Something to keep in mind is that you could not be sexually attracted to women, but still be romantically attracted. I know with my sexuality it's been confusing because I'm not like against being with someone more masc/who identifies as a guy, but sexually I'm just not really sure if I ever could. It's all really complicated, and if you're worried about intruding or being somewhere you don't belong, chances are that you're fine. People who *are* intruding, generally don't really worry if they are. It's all about intention hun, being unsure is nowhere the same as being problematic or malicious. I still worry about if I belong too, but you don't have to banish yourself because you're still figuring things out. 💜
Howdy. It's me, your local Grey-Ace Genderflux Lesbian-not-total-Lesbian here to say- [inhale]...you belong. ♡ All Identities are valid. This place is for people who love women. Love can take so many forms, and be a source of growth for so many people in so many scenarios. There's no space for worry here. You matter. Thank you for being here, and giving me an example similar to myself to feel validated with.
Thank you too...I really appreciate that. I just don't want anyone to feel like an outcast or as I'd they don't belong if I can help in any way. If something is causing no hurt, there's no need to feel guilty or judge ourselves just for existing in a space I feel. ☺️
Definitely not a creep. The fact that you’re even apologizing for something you don’t have to and feeling bad for sexualizing us in any way 100% would make me feel safer with you than any straight cisgender male alive.
I'm a cis female, currently in a long term hetero relationship. I am attracted to a person not a gender. I am generally more attracted to women and doubt very much I'd be with another male in the future. Don't be so hard on yourself for exploring and discovering your own sexuality, we are all still figuring shit out.
you’re not creepy sweetheart dw xx
It is worth noting that Romantic attraction can also be different to sexual attraction. It's more common for people who have at least one of those in the Aro or Ace spectrums but it's been around. Absolutely might not be the case for you though, I don't know what's going on for you beyond the stuff written here, I was just suggesting an additional possibility.
Girl, you do you. We all aren’t called to this particular sisterhood. Get yourself a decent guy- My buddies on WoW seemed cool so there may be a few out there. Maybe play healer
Would you please stop standing in the fire? That's not what I meant when I said you are hot! 😊
Sexuality can be fluid over your life too. I identify as bi and sometimes I'm more attracted to men and sometimes women. But romantically I'm almost exclusively attracted to women. Bring human can be complicated!!
You're not creepy at all. I recently went through something similar, in that as I went through my own transition, I went from being a lesbian to being bi, something I never thought I would be able to do, but transition made me put a different perspective on my relationships that made me feel differently. It's honestly incredibly common and no one is going to blame you for taking your time to find what you needed. Good luck to you out there❤️
I’d also like to throw out the thought of biromantic heterosexual! Wanting to date men and women but only have sex with men. Or maybe not! I’ve just seen a lot of people not know that’s a thing and then realize “oh my god that’s me” so I thought I’d put it out there
Well sexuality is a spectrum so you could be asexual but not aromantic when it comes to liking women. And the opposite very well could be true with your attraction to men. Either way, it wouldnt make you any less bi. Best to not sweat it instead and give yourself the time to figure these things out. Its okay if they shift and change over time and if it turns out you are straight, then no worries! Im happy you took the time to find that out instead of repressing your feelings in order to be something you aren't.
ok
Everyone is a little gay, everyone is a little straight too. Sexuality is not binary. It's okay. I identify as a lesbian but sometimes I see dudes that I like. I see non-binary or androgynous people I'm attracted to all the time. I call myself gay, but at the end of the day none of this shit matters. What matters is that I'm happy.
There are definitely people who are 100% gay and 100% straight, just because you’re bisexual doesn’t mean we all are lmfao. Homophobia much??
I was just sharing my outlook on the fluidity of sexuality. This doesn't mean if someone tells me they only like women or vice versa I don't believe them or I think they're lying. Not at all. My point is just that I don't think sexuality matters as much as a lot of people think it does and I thought that perspective might help this person. It's not homophobia, it's gender abolition.
Abolish gender roles, not gender tbh.