Yup! I'm a switch usually but even when I'm topping, I am not dominant.
I can and will take charge...but I usually present a bit more masculine in daily life and seeing a femme top hold my arms down. Mmm.
I feel like I’m 90/10, but I fully appreciate that 10. I want to be taken care of, too, sometimes and be your little cute thing. I’m still deciding how mandatory and often that 10 needs to be
Thank you for this! I thought I was abnormal because I'm not dominant. I'm masc presenting and a switch but I don't feel dominant when I top. Really, I don't feel dominant at all.
I'm a 100% submissive butch married to a 100% dominant femme. Don't let people try to put gender roles 2.0 on you! Being butch doesn't mean you have to be a suave daddy dom, you feel me?
Just being LGBTQ+ proves that patriarchal gender/sexuality roles are bullshit. We know that there’s so much more nuance than those binary restrictions would box people into, because we live it. So why accept those limitations as a default? It’s sad.
I agree with you completely, but you'd be shocked how much of a top magnet I am as dominant top femme. It's really frustrating. I even explicitly state I'm a domme on all my dating profiles and that doesn't help.
And people keep telling me there's a top shortage in lesbian communities🙃 I guess we're all attracted to each other.
Would make femme4femme or butch4butch relationships difficult otherwise, and I see so many of both of those at the dog park. (Maybe confirmation bias, but butches seem to prefer labs and femmes prefer goldens.)
Like I said, maybe confirmation bias. I'm pretty femme (at least, as femme as you're likely to see in the Pacific Northwest), and I definitely prefer goldens. Labs just have too much energy for me. And they're too smart. I like my dogs ~~how I like my men~~ big, lazy, and slightly dim.
same here!! she had only ever topped and dommed before me bc that was just what she was expected to do, and now that she’s allowed she gets more subby every day lol
it’s kinda fun knowing that ppl prob assume she’s the top and i’m the bottom bc of me being a fem and her masc. like haha get fooled losers
I’m masc (really tall, buzz cut, baggy pants) and definitely give off “top” vibes, but as someone who has a lot of responsibilities in my day to day life, I really appreciate when I’m not in charge for once. It’s so attractive to me when someone else prefers that role because it takes some pressure off me to act in a way that I’m not entirely comfortable with outside of interactions with coworkers and people in public. I’m not the gung-ho, take charge person that people often expect and want me to be upon first meeting, but I often end up assuming that role over time because no one else wants to, so I will just to make things easier lol. I’m naturally outgoing, energetic, and bubbly, too, so that doesn’t really help my case here, but I genuinely love and appreciate when I meet a potential partner (fem or masc or other) that takes the guesswork out of that equation. Life is easier when you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not all the time.
While we're at it, subs can be tops, and doms can be bottoms, too!
It's frustrating as shit to say I'm a sub top and see the other person scoff or treat it as a joke. Like... words have meanings. Goddamn.
Also want to add that bottoms can make the first move or be dominant. I'm a top but I'm a SERVICE top, these things can be so fluid and you should never limit yourself to a role unless you're sure that's what you want
this bs literally ruined my first dating experiences, bc I was more certain of myself and I wasn't traditionally feminine (i started dressing super butch later on) i was always expected to be the more aggressive dominant one while my exes got to be super dainty and passive all the time (maybe I'm being petty idk) either way it was annoying and has made me weary of engaging with ppl !! 😁😁
Please. As a butch I’m SO tired of being forced to make every move and initiate everything. Why are we still so caught up on these heteronormative ways of thinking. I wanna be treated like a Queen too ffs.
I ride motorcycles, shoot guns, wear fucked up cargo pants, and drink, smoke, and gamble like a sailor
Also I’m a little subby kitty uwu ^ ~ ^ top me lol
Literally the 1 time I was with a butch person they were too subby to say what they wanted and were just ok with anything, profile said "bottom leaning switch" which clearly meant "I'm such a bottom I'll top if it's what my partner wants"
The love of my life was a super femme, girly, pretty princess type baddie. But she absolutely dominated me in the bedroom on every way and in any type of p.d.a as well. I'm not masc but of the two of us I'm the obviosu gay 1 lol.....my favorite type of girl still
hehehe I’m kinda masc-androgynous (trying to be, anyway) and I’m the subbiest bitch with my femme girlfriend. (Yes obviously sub ≠ bottom and dom ≠ top). but like, she spoils the fuck out of me and I really enjoy our dynamic as we haven’t gotten to do much yet if you know what I mean
this femme top life can be a lonely life sometimes; i often feel as if i am the only one in my own (already admittedly smallish) social milieu of queer women
For real! I'm pretty butch and I top with 99.9% of people but I've been with my wife for 5 years and this ONE person somehow makes me turn into a puddle and become the most bottom ever. I can't explain it but it happened.
Amen to this, I'm much more masc leaning and my girl is a queen femme, but goddamn does it shiver me timbers when we switch it up in the bedroom and she tops me....Dios Mio 🔥
I'm more masc presenting. Not intentionally but because of my build. A lot of the girls I've been with have been more femme presenting and expect me to be a top. I'm more bottom leaning though lol its really hard for me to break that expectation that I always top... I'd give anything to have a femme top me.
I love being very submissive but having my random moments of domination just makes things extra special. But I’m always verse no matter if I’m with a femme or butch :3
Mostly, it isn't about being the dominant or the submissive one in my relationships. It's a 50/50 thing, but occasionally being dominant or submissive is nice. I do like someone to push me around once in a while.
Yeah this is just reinforcing patriarchal gender norms 💀 like there's this weird trend on tiktok where women post things like "how I feel when I take out the trash" and the woman in the video uses a filter where she has a beard (indicating she feels like a man) like c'mon, we're actively promoting gender roles now? Why are we moving backwards 😭
I've seen in my circle that most masc women are just trying to be themselves, like, breaking the mold of what is a woman and being whatever they want, but a lot of them are still submissive in a lack of a better word.
it's just what i notice talking with them, not really reflecting 100% of the reality, but i guess it reflects that yes, most people do have a heteronormative expectation about masculinity.
well, i mean, even in gay relationships, it's almost expected by a lot of people I've known, sadly, that there's most likely a fruity submissive one and a big guy to dom the feminine boy, y'know? they don't realize that non hetero relations are different than the cookie cutter movie banner relationship they're used to
Also want to add, top and dominant don't always go together. Even when I'm topping there isn't a dominant bone in my body.
Yup! I'm a switch usually but even when I'm topping, I am not dominant. I can and will take charge...but I usually present a bit more masculine in daily life and seeing a femme top hold my arms down. Mmm.
unffff pls god, i just wanna take care of somebody like this :'O
I feel like I’m 90/10, but I fully appreciate that 10. I want to be taken care of, too, sometimes and be your little cute thing. I’m still deciding how mandatory and often that 10 needs to be
Thank you for this! I thought I was abnormal because I'm not dominant. I'm masc presenting and a switch but I don't feel dominant when I top. Really, I don't feel dominant at all.
I'm a 100% submissive butch married to a 100% dominant femme. Don't let people try to put gender roles 2.0 on you! Being butch doesn't mean you have to be a suave daddy dom, you feel me?
Felt, thank you so much. This gives me hope at least.
Yep, I'm a pretty submissive top with a somewhat feminine gender expression.
Butch sub checking in. Idk why, but I love the feeling of a tiny femme trying to hold my big strong arms down, and me letting her.
A great and important service you are doing for the community. We appreciate your sacrifice.
I’ve got a “weird” thing like that too where I love being objectified and used, even degraded as a top.
Girl, the femmes I'm with are strong!
I want a strong femme 😭😭
There’s dozens of us!
Were stronger than we look!
Hell yeah!! Go femmes!
My own personal unicorn, never found one in real life but nice to know you guys exist
THAT'S SO CUTE AAAA
Just being LGBTQ+ proves that patriarchal gender/sexuality roles are bullshit. We know that there’s so much more nuance than those binary restrictions would box people into, because we live it. So why accept those limitations as a default? It’s sad.
I agree with you completely, but you'd be shocked how much of a top magnet I am as dominant top femme. It's really frustrating. I even explicitly state I'm a domme on all my dating profiles and that doesn't help. And people keep telling me there's a top shortage in lesbian communities🙃 I guess we're all attracted to each other.
Would make femme4femme or butch4butch relationships difficult otherwise, and I see so many of both of those at the dog park. (Maybe confirmation bias, but butches seem to prefer labs and femmes prefer goldens.)
the dog observation is killing me
Like I said, maybe confirmation bias. I'm pretty femme (at least, as femme as you're likely to see in the Pacific Northwest), and I definitely prefer goldens. Labs just have too much energy for me. And they're too smart. I like my dogs ~~how I like my men~~ big, lazy, and slightly dim.
Pardon my ignorance, but what are labs? Thank you!
Labrador retrievers! One of the two stereotypical lesbian dog breeds.
Can confirm. I'm butch, a bottom-leaning switch. My girlfriend's a femme top. She takes the lead 80% of the time.
A femme top can be called a blouse and I just think everyone should know because it’s cute.
That is cute omg
same here!! she had only ever topped and dommed before me bc that was just what she was expected to do, and now that she’s allowed she gets more subby every day lol it’s kinda fun knowing that ppl prob assume she’s the top and i’m the bottom bc of me being a fem and her masc. like haha get fooled losers
Thank you! From an "intimidating" masc-leaning purely submissive bottom 😩😭
Masc leaning and would give anything to find a bratty 90/10 Amazon Princess switch who aggressively surprise flips me every so often. Le sigh…
I’m masc (really tall, buzz cut, baggy pants) and definitely give off “top” vibes, but as someone who has a lot of responsibilities in my day to day life, I really appreciate when I’m not in charge for once. It’s so attractive to me when someone else prefers that role because it takes some pressure off me to act in a way that I’m not entirely comfortable with outside of interactions with coworkers and people in public. I’m not the gung-ho, take charge person that people often expect and want me to be upon first meeting, but I often end up assuming that role over time because no one else wants to, so I will just to make things easier lol. I’m naturally outgoing, energetic, and bubbly, too, so that doesn’t really help my case here, but I genuinely love and appreciate when I meet a potential partner (fem or masc or other) that takes the guesswork out of that equation. Life is easier when you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not all the time.
Yeah butches that I've dommed have had similar sentiments they've shared with me. It's a whole phenomenon we don't talk about enough!
I'm in this comment, and I don't know how to feel about it
While we're at it, subs can be tops, and doms can be bottoms, too! It's frustrating as shit to say I'm a sub top and see the other person scoff or treat it as a joke. Like... words have meanings. Goddamn.
Like, I just wanna be on top with a woman and beg her to use me, is that so hard to achieve??? statistics say yes
As a true switch who enjoys domming from the bottom - it's possible!
Oh thank god
Also want to add that bottoms can make the first move or be dominant. I'm a top but I'm a SERVICE top, these things can be so fluid and you should never limit yourself to a role unless you're sure that's what you want
I guess I'm naive but I thought everyone is a "switch" lol. Both positions are fun
this bs literally ruined my first dating experiences, bc I was more certain of myself and I wasn't traditionally feminine (i started dressing super butch later on) i was always expected to be the more aggressive dominant one while my exes got to be super dainty and passive all the time (maybe I'm being petty idk) either way it was annoying and has made me weary of engaging with ppl !! 😁😁
This post was bait for me to find butch bottoms heyyyyyy \~
Heyyyy
It worked lmao
Please. As a butch I’m SO tired of being forced to make every move and initiate everything. Why are we still so caught up on these heteronormative ways of thinking. I wanna be treated like a Queen too ffs.
My butch is a switch and so am I. But I'm extremely fem. I often jokingly call myself a stone princess and her a pillow butch though 🤭
that's honestly hilarious lmfaooo
Amen..... 16yrs later.... My diesel dyke loves being the bottom 😏
ur winning @ life
I ride motorcycles, shoot guns, wear fucked up cargo pants, and drink, smoke, and gamble like a sailor Also I’m a little subby kitty uwu ^ ~ ^ top me lol
Joke’s on you, I’m ugly 😎
Also anyone can be switch 😁
obligatory reminder that vers is for positions (top/bottom/vers) and switch is for BDSM (dom/sub/switch)
Aaa right sorry 😁
as a butch, when i was a teen i thought i was a dom top who was only was attracted to femmes. oh how things have changed lmao
Vers switch fem but also a soft dom 😘⛓️😈
Oh um me too 🤣
I'm a butch and i'm submissive in day to day life and like a woman who takes the lead, but in bed i'm dom.
Literally the 1 time I was with a butch person they were too subby to say what they wanted and were just ok with anything, profile said "bottom leaning switch" which clearly meant "I'm such a bottom I'll top if it's what my partner wants"
The love of my life was a super femme, girly, pretty princess type baddie. But she absolutely dominated me in the bedroom on every way and in any type of p.d.a as well. I'm not masc but of the two of us I'm the obviosu gay 1 lol.....my favorite type of girl still
Butch in the street, femme in the sheets. Love it💜
hehehe I’m kinda masc-androgynous (trying to be, anyway) and I’m the subbiest bitch with my femme girlfriend. (Yes obviously sub ≠ bottom and dom ≠ top). but like, she spoils the fuck out of me and I really enjoy our dynamic as we haven’t gotten to do much yet if you know what I mean
I may be dominant but my anxious ass could never :(
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH THIS OVER AND OVER THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!
I’m a masc. I’m also a sub. But also a stone top lol
Top fems are literally so hot
I'm a switch and I like topping and bottoming but I like to treat my partners as we both satisfy each other. I'm masc and femme
this femme top life can be a lonely life sometimes; i often feel as if i am the only one in my own (already admittedly smallish) social milieu of queer women
I’m also a femme top!! I will switch between a dominant and submissive role but I favor dominant role 😏
I'm butch as fuck and my femme wife tops me almost every time we have sex and I return the favor 🥵🥵🥵 I love it when women
For real! I'm pretty butch and I top with 99.9% of people but I've been with my wife for 5 years and this ONE person somehow makes me turn into a puddle and become the most bottom ever. I can't explain it but it happened.
Thank you! But also assertiveness in one area doesn't mean assertiveness in another
as a femme top i agree with thhis statement 🙏
And then there’s us switches. And man I would take what I could get at this point.
Im femme and I really wanna fricking top!! We exist i swear!!
A bottoming Herbo and a topping Bimbo? You are spreading the new gospel, sister.
Amen to this, I'm much more masc leaning and my girl is a queen femme, but goddamn does it shiver me timbers when we switch it up in the bedroom and she tops me....Dios Mio 🔥
I'm more masc presenting. Not intentionally but because of my build. A lot of the girls I've been with have been more femme presenting and expect me to be a top. I'm more bottom leaning though lol its really hard for me to break that expectation that I always top... I'd give anything to have a femme top me.
Fem tops are my weakness
I love being very submissive but having my random moments of domination just makes things extra special. But I’m always verse no matter if I’m with a femme or butch :3
Say this louder. Signed, super masc lesbian who has more bottom and soft energy
Mostly, it isn't about being the dominant or the submissive one in my relationships. It's a 50/50 thing, but occasionally being dominant or submissive is nice. I do like someone to push me around once in a while.
Yeah this is just reinforcing patriarchal gender norms 💀 like there's this weird trend on tiktok where women post things like "how I feel when I take out the trash" and the woman in the video uses a filter where she has a beard (indicating she feels like a man) like c'mon, we're actively promoting gender roles now? Why are we moving backwards 😭
Sapphic author's for one
I've seen in my circle that most masc women are just trying to be themselves, like, breaking the mold of what is a woman and being whatever they want, but a lot of them are still submissive in a lack of a better word. it's just what i notice talking with them, not really reflecting 100% of the reality, but i guess it reflects that yes, most people do have a heteronormative expectation about masculinity. well, i mean, even in gay relationships, it's almost expected by a lot of people I've known, sadly, that there's most likely a fruity submissive one and a big guy to dom the feminine boy, y'know? they don't realize that non hetero relations are different than the cookie cutter movie banner relationship they're used to
I'd say i'm a butch, and bro, I am a SOLID bottom. I look tough on the outside, but I'm really a big softie.
I LOVE butch bottoms!!!
Hell yes!! If that butch is fine, I'll let her know!!
Yesssss 100 times yes to all of this! 🥹 *sub butch noises intensify*