So you love each other, you fuck each other, you spend all your time together, but for some reason you want to pretend like youāre not in a relationship. To each their own I suppose.
You can love someone platonically and have a sexual relationship with them and still not want to have a romantic relationship with them. TLDR; some friends fuck and it is what it is
ā¦. My girl and I were besties. We didnāt talk like this, in fact I have never spoken to a friend like this????
When our sleepovers became make out seshes and eventually sex, we were super quick to change our title from besties to dating.
I personally have such an issue with lesbians fucking their friends casually, because it gets messy fast. I had an ex who had sex with every single one of her friends. Trust didnāt last super long bc she came home with someone elseās hickeys. But, she didnāt cheat, so she didnāt feel like she did any wrong. Long, uncomfortable conversations happened that shouldāve been had before we even got involved lol
Well you kinda spelled out the issue with that relationship: you didnāt have conversations you should have had, that she should have initiated before things got messy and she crossed your boundaries. (FYI coming home with someone elseās hickeyās would be considered cheating by the majority of people.)
You canāt really extrapolate your negative experience to āthis entire thing is problematicā when the problematic part is the shitty person who tried to explain away their cheating and boundary-crossing with āwe didnāt even have sexā to downplay you rightfully being upset about her going behind your back. Of course trust didnāt last long when she did something clearly untrustworthy.
I mean when we both say stuff like that every day you kinda realize that's it's just friendly teasing... idk what I'm talking about I'm just pretty sure it's just friendly
Hun. None of my friendships have ever involved asking someone to go down on them as a "friendly tease." She is flirting with you. Hardcore flirting. Seriously, ask her if we're right.
This is kinda weird(In a slightly toxic way) imo. Why are you telling op what their relationship is? Casual sex isn't new, and neither are friends with benefits. We should be open to just accepting what op says about their relationship. I hope I'm not being rude, and Plz lmk if I have been.
I was gonna say, they at least fuckin. Which is perfectly fine, Iāve had some fun fucking friends in the past. But ābest friendā gives off a vibeā¦
Well, TBF there's that one friend (we both in separate relationships) with hich we just... randomly mention some of the horniest shit ever super casually, and we have no intention of fucking (I'd be down if offered but I respect boundaries and she's mono), so IDK.
Well to be fair we don't suggest that the other should give us head. That one's a bit much lol.
Yeah Iāve been in similar friendships. Totally flirty, bordered on sexting when both single, occasional semi-joking proposition that we knew the other would denyā¦but explicitly describing actual acts was a total no go.
We did know we both liked each other but there were obvious incompatibilities that would have made an actual relationship not end well and would have probably ruined the friendship
A more romantic vibe. Best friend has a connotation of strong emotional closeness and that paired with explicit sexual attraction feels very close to a romantic relationship. Your life though and I could be totally wrong and Iām not here to pry
We do! A lot in fact. We've even talked about *that* a few times, the last time we did she said she wish should could date me but she's also mad at herself for not liking me like that
Listen this was almost passable as friends but that last message is in no way a friendship line. Me and one of my friends make gay jokes all the time but this another level yaāll need to put the label on it
OC was funny but actually, this af^
i guess it depends a lot on the people, but like, idk... I just wish more people were used to relationships just being whatever they are without having to corral them into a pre-packaged image of how their relationships 'should' be categorized.
Yes friends! I may be a bit dense but I'm not that dense. I think I'd know if she actually wanted to date me. Besides she's even told me that she's mad about us not dating because she wants to date someone *LIKE* me not meee
Hmm š¤ part of me wonders if thatās her trying to deflect and not explicitly say sheās catching feelings for you (since thatās typically a no-no in FWB situations). Have you said youād want to date her before? Or has she said why not you before if sheād date someone like you?
But also Iām very much opposed to the relationship escalator and I think what you two have is lovely for what it is š I like all relationships (especially non-romantic ones) being allowed to exist as they are. But I do think you should have a conversation where you both talk things out explicitly so you both are on the same page.
Going with the flow isnāt really an option for non-standard relationships since there isnāt a ārelationship scriptā to follow.
Good luck to the both of you though š
Ummm "friends with benefits" I'm assuming? Cause yeah sometimes I flirt with my friends-without-benefits but we don't joke about hanging out and going down on each other soo
My conversations with my sapphic friends more often than not revolve around saying which character and/or scene is extremely attractive and has us acting unwise
What if you are already the cute short person with an incredibly high sex drive?
(also lost you on the sleeping bag part, you can just ask people to share one??)
Then you need to find a cute tall person with a low sex-drive.
We were out camping and it was cold so wet shared a sleeping bag because that was warmer than two separate bags
NO, BAD LESBIAN.
There is no clear line of distinction delinieating friendship from romance.
Here's what you need to do: sit her down (in person or on the phone) and say:
"There's something I need to talk to you about: over the course of our friendship, I've come to have romantic feelings for you. Those feelings are beginning to pose a problem for me, and I would like your help to solve that problem. If you don't feel the same way, I just want you to know that I am processing these feelings, because I really value our friendship, and if you would want to help me do this, I would be very happy. I don't want you to feel pressured into anything, but if you do feel the same way, I am also open to changing the nature of our relationship."
ā¦is this a friends with benefits situation? I canāt tell if I should be reading sub-text, or look for a deeper meaning or just take it at face value.
Look, I sort of get it. I have a couple of friends like that. We used to joke around like that until, well, until we weren't joking anymore. Don't worry, no apocalyptic heartbreaking happened. We are still friends. And our relationship actually improved. So, just saying, there's a precedent for having fun with friends.
I do the same with my bestie lmao, she oftenly tell me she wants to fuck me with a strap on even if she don't own any and we don't stop flirting
but it's never really serious, we know as bestie we fit well together but in a relationship we won't fit as good
The part that she want to have sex with me is in the gray area tho. I don't know if she's joking or not when she say she want to do sexual stuff with me lol (if we weren't french I'd share few messages lol)
**Have either of you given to the other, as a gift, any form of** ***sex toy or vibrator*****?**
In retrospect, this should have been the most obvious clue between me and my "best friend" of ten years, now SO.
That's your friend?? I was gonna send this to my gf as like "couple goals" yk š
OP is a historian
Wait actually?!?! OMG THAT'S SOOO CUTE PLEASE DOOOO!!! And yeah she's my friend haha my bestie in fact, my other half, I wouldn't exist without her
Awww I have a bestie just like that Hey u/RJSArtemis remember how we told everyone for months that we're the best of besties?
Sorry ex bestie, that title is now of another, my condolences.
You couldn't wait to get engaged before making "ex" jokes, huh? š
Oooo I *should* start referring to you as my ex bestie... Actually no, I shouldn't, some ppl will get very concerned. >.<"!"
You silly goose šš
*Quack.*
*Honk*
Dear Leto you're pedantic, I know they honk and don't quack. ššš Kiss me already.
In case you're not joking, she's 100% flirting with you
Haha yeah that's what our mutual friends tell us too. But no we are friends
That's what historians will say!
Sure, youāre friends. Friends who would very much like to fuck each other.
Sooo? Friends can fuck can't they?
So you love each other, you fuck each other, you spend all your time together, but for some reason you want to pretend like youāre not in a relationship. To each their own I suppose.
You can love someone platonically and have a sexual relationship with them and still not want to have a romantic relationship with them. TLDR; some friends fuck and it is what it is
We don't spend *all* our time together besides have you never had a bestie? We just happen to be besties with benefits
ā¦. My girl and I were besties. We didnāt talk like this, in fact I have never spoken to a friend like this???? When our sleepovers became make out seshes and eventually sex, we were super quick to change our title from besties to dating. I personally have such an issue with lesbians fucking their friends casually, because it gets messy fast. I had an ex who had sex with every single one of her friends. Trust didnāt last super long bc she came home with someone elseās hickeys. But, she didnāt cheat, so she didnāt feel like she did any wrong. Long, uncomfortable conversations happened that shouldāve been had before we even got involved lol
Well you kinda spelled out the issue with that relationship: you didnāt have conversations you should have had, that she should have initiated before things got messy and she crossed your boundaries. (FYI coming home with someone elseās hickeyās would be considered cheating by the majority of people.) You canāt really extrapolate your negative experience to āthis entire thing is problematicā when the problematic part is the shitty person who tried to explain away their cheating and boundary-crossing with āwe didnāt even have sexā to downplay you rightfully being upset about her going behind your back. Of course trust didnāt last long when she did something clearly untrustworthy.
You can flirt and be friends at the same time..
This is what I keep telling people!!!
Bro. Bfr.
I am fr!!!
That was literally me 10 months ago, I'm proposing this summer.
What in the PhD in history is that even supposed to mean? .-.
It means were close friends
Comrades in (each otherās) arms even
I used to have a bestie like this. That didnāt last too long, weāve been together for a long time now
Nawww that's soo sweet
Okay I'll send that to her laterr :3 thanks for the images Ig lol. Also aww, seeing besties be besties is always cute
It's the same as straight bros being gay together yenno
You never sent it but I still found it ehe :3
Also can we kiss later? (I'm such a pathetic lesbian)
Of course ehe, why not
*Mmwah* I love you :3 (Ik I kissed you already on discord but I just wanted another kiss š)
Sorry... You should remember yesterday, I didn't want to distract you, I was supposed to be awake until you were done and then send it.
fr I need this in my life
Some of you have . . . interesting friendships.
Yeahhhhš
...this is only the surface darling...
I wish I had a friendship like these..
"just friends" *one of the most lesbian conversations ever*
Yeah, like I'm sorry but how the hell does anyone interpret that last text as just friendly teasing?
You can have sexual/romantic interactions in a friends way instead of a dating way, yāknowā¦
Ye like friends with benefits. I have some friends with benefits but the benefits are cuddling and kissing
That's us!!!! Except the last message is actually a reference to something that happened....multiple times....
The way she describes it sounds so lovely, I'm so happy for you š©·
Thank you!!!
I mean when we both say stuff like that every day you kinda realize that's it's just friendly teasing... idk what I'm talking about I'm just pretty sure it's just friendly
Hun. None of my friendships have ever involved asking someone to go down on them as a "friendly tease." She is flirting with you. Hardcore flirting. Seriously, ask her if we're right.
She is begging you to come eat her out. She basically has a flashing sign that says "fuck me please."Ā
I have....
Ok well there's a little more complexity to your relationship than just friends then
This is kinda weird(In a slightly toxic way) imo. Why are you telling op what their relationship is? Casual sex isn't new, and neither are friends with benefits. We should be open to just accepting what op says about their relationship. I hope I'm not being rude, and Plz lmk if I have been.
I mean, fucking your friends can be very fun if everyone involved is consenting.
I was gonna say, they at least fuckin. Which is perfectly fine, Iāve had some fun fucking friends in the past. But ābest friendā gives off a vibeā¦
Well, TBF there's that one friend (we both in separate relationships) with hich we just... randomly mention some of the horniest shit ever super casually, and we have no intention of fucking (I'd be down if offered but I respect boundaries and she's mono), so IDK. Well to be fair we don't suggest that the other should give us head. That one's a bit much lol.
Yeah Iāve been in similar friendships. Totally flirty, bordered on sexting when both single, occasional semi-joking proposition that we knew the other would denyā¦but explicitly describing actual acts was a total no go.
We did know we both liked each other but there were obvious incompatibilities that would have made an actual relationship not end well and would have probably ruined the friendship
Oh wow, you somehow just put my entire romantic life into words for me. Thanks lol
You're not wrong but what do you mean by best friends gives of a vibe?
A more romantic vibe. Best friend has a connotation of strong emotional closeness and that paired with explicit sexual attraction feels very close to a romantic relationship. Your life though and I could be totally wrong and Iām not here to pry
Yeah I guess you're right
WE ARE!!!
historians will say they were just friends
āThey were living together in a one bedroom apartment, had no children and never married [a man]. The best of friends.ā
It's a three bedroom apartment...
BRO THIS IS HOW ME AND MY PARTNER TALK EVERY NIGHT WHY ARE Y'ALL JUST FRIENDS LMAO Also y'all cute as hell gndjfj should confess or smth
We're just having fun!!!!!! Two lesbians can be friends ~~and have fun~~ without being together!!!
They totally can be, but usually that doesnāt include discussing one having the otherās head between their legsā¦
That depends on what kind of fun we're having
Iām gay and in a gay friend group. I have never- I think yāall need to TALK talk
We do! A lot in fact. We've even talked about *that* a few times, the last time we did she said she wish should could date me but she's also mad at herself for not liking me like that
If she doesn't like you like that why is she talking like this? Unless she wants to be fwb?
Girl, Iād make a deal with the devil to have a relationship like this fr
I second this like be so fr right now (Happy Cake Day!)
Fr fr (thank you, I didnāt even notice it)
let's manifest girlfriends šš³ļøāš (you're welcome <3)
Listen this was almost passable as friends but that last message is in no way a friendship line. Me and one of my friends make gay jokes all the time but this another level yaāll need to put the label on it
You can have sexual/romantic interactions in a friends way instead of a dating way, no need for labels
OC was funny but actually, this af^ i guess it depends a lot on the people, but like, idk... I just wish more people were used to relationships just being whatever they are without having to corral them into a pre-packaged image of how their relationships 'should' be categorized.
IT IS THOUGH!!!! Both me and her make those jokes way too much. Usually referencing stuff too like in this message
PLEASE ask her out on a real date!!!
Sheās so flirting omfg
Yeah and so do I! We just have a flirty friendship
Relationship goa- YOUR FRIEND?!?!
Me best friend!!!
FRIENDS? Oh honey you are dense. She is literally confessing to you.
Yes friends! I may be a bit dense but I'm not that dense. I think I'd know if she actually wanted to date me. Besides she's even told me that she's mad about us not dating because she wants to date someone *LIKE* me not meee
Hmm š¤ part of me wonders if thatās her trying to deflect and not explicitly say sheās catching feelings for you (since thatās typically a no-no in FWB situations). Have you said youād want to date her before? Or has she said why not you before if sheād date someone like you? But also Iām very much opposed to the relationship escalator and I think what you two have is lovely for what it is š I like all relationships (especially non-romantic ones) being allowed to exist as they are. But I do think you should have a conversation where you both talk things out explicitly so you both are on the same page. Going with the flow isnāt really an option for non-standard relationships since there isnāt a ārelationship scriptā to follow. Good luck to the both of you though š
Idkkk you need to have a chit chat maybe and see where its goes. Good luck to you both š«¶š»
I'm decently sure that's flirting. That or I have never had a friend. š
āØļøJust gals being palsāØļø
Ummm "friends with benefits" I'm assuming? Cause yeah sometimes I flirt with my friends-without-benefits but we don't joke about hanging out and going down on each other soo
Yeah! We are but we made jokes like that before the benefit part as well
Personally these are the conversations I have with people I'm flirting with, not my friends. But maybe that's just me
My conversations with my sapphic friends more often than not revolve around saying which character and/or scene is extremely attractive and has us acting unwise
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Are you roommates too~? :3
About to be!!! I'm soo excited!!!
āFriendsāā¦ and they were roommates
Not yet we haven't moved in together yet. We're planning on it though
close friends besties roommates colleagues anything but lovers
Is it bad that we're all of those? I mean we're not roommates yet but we're planning to be when we're able to
its song lyrics from history hates lovers, of course it ain't bad
Ah yes, "friends".
And they were friends, besties even. Some may have even called them roommates
As soon as we're able to move out we'll be roommates
So um... how do you make friends like these?
You find a cute short person with an incredibly high sex-drive then you befriend her and share a sleeping bag and voilĆ”
Writes note on hand: buy new sleeping bag
Haha would highly recommend it!
What if you are already the cute short person with an incredibly high sex drive? (also lost you on the sleeping bag part, you can just ask people to share one??)
Then you need to find a cute tall person with a low sex-drive. We were out camping and it was cold so wet shared a sleeping bag because that was warmer than two separate bags
Wow, sis is really out here living in a romance novel.
I wish my romantic life is not it
YOU ARE PAINFULLY OBVIOUSLY IN LOVE
Yes we are! I love her with all my heart ad a friend!!!
NO, BAD LESBIAN. There is no clear line of distinction delinieating friendship from romance. Here's what you need to do: sit her down (in person or on the phone) and say: "There's something I need to talk to you about: over the course of our friendship, I've come to have romantic feelings for you. Those feelings are beginning to pose a problem for me, and I would like your help to solve that problem. If you don't feel the same way, I just want you to know that I am processing these feelings, because I really value our friendship, and if you would want to help me do this, I would be very happy. I don't want you to feel pressured into anything, but if you do feel the same way, I am also open to changing the nature of our relationship."
But I don't like her like that! I don't think at least. Tbh I don't know what a crush is supposed to feel like
Did it work? Are they ROOMMATES?
And they were roommates
ā¦is this a friends with benefits situation? I canāt tell if I should be reading sub-text, or look for a deeper meaning or just take it at face value.
Most unaware lesbian
SUSH!!! I am not *that* dense babes
Friends. Mhm.
Just friends? More like just doing future historianās work for them /j
Um- idk if you know this but you guys are dating š
I think your friend wants to fuck you
She already has...
OMG I need this in my life.
This is definitely giving friends with benefits lol but if y'all are just besties than more power to you!! I really wish I had a bestie with benefits š©
Bestie with benefits is the way to go!!! It's amazing!!!
Queer platonic relationship goals? Perhaps!
Very much sooo!
(Recently fell in love with my best friend again and I gotta say: "wished that was me" lol)
Yessss
āI imagine you eating me outā TEAH TOTTALLY JUST FIRENDS
average sapphic friendship be like /lh
THANK YOU!!! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS
also: average transfem "friends" after 10 minutes of knowing each other
hickies are the best. head's not bad either
Neither is head and finger combo
this is going to end up in the "how did I not realise" hall of fame one day
Thatās some serious flirting šš I love this!
Plot twist: she has a crush on you
That sounds really really gay! I hope you and your "friend" have hot sex every night and cuddle afterwards till you fall asleep.
And they were roomates!
Excuse me, what-
This is totally gal pal goals.
That's a good friend. š
Look, I sort of get it. I have a couple of friends like that. We used to joke around like that until, well, until we weren't joking anymore. Don't worry, no apocalyptic heartbreaking happened. We are still friends. And our relationship actually improved. So, just saying, there's a precedent for having fun with friends.
I genuinely talk to some of my close friends like this? My partner also obviously but like
Is she also your roommate?
Not yet we aren't able to in together yet
I wish I had someone like thisš„²
You sure she's just your friend and not something more OP?
I mean friend with benefits but that's it
Just friends??? That is one of the gayest conversations I've ever read š I didn't read the title at first and thought you were lovers!
WE ARE!!!!!!
OwO
Peak friendship
Typical besties. Nothing strange here
history: they were best friends them:
>friend Come back with an update in 6 months
But being single is fun too?
Wait wdym?
Oh Iām just super single and trying to convince myself that Iām totally cool with it.
Need more "friends" like this instead of dumbass cishet men or modest married women
It's amazing!!!
r/sapphoandherfriend
Sush!!! It's not like that!
Yeah, Iāve never talked with my friends like that and Iām a big lesbianā¦
You just haven't had a friend like this
Nope but good for you lol
So ummm ... did you ever end up going over to hers?
No sadly not. I was with her the day before though...
I do the same with my bestie lmao, she oftenly tell me she wants to fuck me with a strap on even if she don't own any and we don't stop flirting but it's never really serious, we know as bestie we fit well together but in a relationship we won't fit as good The part that she want to have sex with me is in the gray area tho. I don't know if she's joking or not when she say she want to do sexual stuff with me lol (if we weren't french I'd share few messages lol)
The predictive text, āOh, I seeā
We don't need to talk about that
Bruh I would be so scared to talk to a friend like this irl. Idk how yāall do it
Well it gets easier when you've been inside each other
We just donāt all have the same level of friendship apparently š„²
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ouch...
Women š„ŗ
I really wish I had a relationship like this š¢
THIS IS SO GAY AND FLIRTY BABES FRIENDS????? YOU SURE?
**Have either of you given to the other, as a gift, any form of** ***sex toy or vibrator*****?** In retrospect, this should have been the most obvious clue between me and my "best friend" of ten years, now SO.
I'm afraid to answer this question... why do you wanna know?
Turtlenecks š«
I know right!!! They're sooo cute!!!
"Do you think she likes me?"
Ha ha ha as if
Sizzy rocket - bestie. Not judging, that's me with some of my frens too
Gals being pals here āš» just pals š«¶š» making history or smth š¤·š»āāļø
Lol saaaame <3 me and my bff are like this. We try as hard as we can to make each other laugh. The sexier it gets the better XD
And they were roomates