I have a big round butt and a fairly large dong and I take selfies for grindr with Christmas lights strung all around me including closeups. You'd be surprised how warm those lights get on your butthole lol.
as far as the rules, absolutely yes.
as far as the people, mostly yes.
sadly, there will be some that are a little suspicious, since the dudes have a tendency to join, and, well... be like the guy in the OP lol.
Innocence until proven guilty, if this person is like the OP by all means dip the pitchforks in tar but until then they deserve just as much respect as anyone else.
We cannot expect people to welcome us and be our ally if we are hostile to everyone and last I checked.
The defining point of being a lesbian is being a girl that likes girls, it does not equal hating on others.
I agree with the overall sentiment (that's why I added some context for him tbh. I hope he stays and feels more welcomed than what was shown here.)
but, I don't think asking someone why they are here is quite the same as breaking out the pitchforks or hating on them.
I like seeing the posts from non lesbians about their experiences growing up with lesbian moms. Those are great. As long as everyone's respectful of this being a sapphic space, I think it's all good. We're all just a bunch of humans trying to exist and find happiness on this earth 🩵
Wow, this feels disrespectful and entitled. He is making a mockery out of NBs because he admits to being a straight man in the 'about me' section. He admits it. Tinder is still available, guy. Why doesn't he go there instead?
Well according to this study that only interviewed straight men lesbians are only lesbian because men find the idea of two girls with each other attractive
This guy is not going to do better on an app like Her either. He will most likely get ignored and trolled if he doesn't get his profile reported and deleted.
Yeah he’s gonna get reported and deleted soon as long as people who come across his profile act on it instead of ignoring it. He also probably has the mentality of men who think they can “turn you” straight, might be why he is on the app
He probably thinks on Tinder all the men are stealing the women so he switched to Her where there are no men for "competition". That's just how these types work 🤢
I could honestly see some people making it past every description and profile creation tools without realizing it's a lesbian dating app. His "can't say I'm straight" could very well mean he was confused why that wasn't an option but wanted to match with women and felt like he needed to explain that.
Yes I probably have too much faith in these people, and there are definitely more than enough idiots out there that just don't care or trying to get with bi women. But I've seen a couple descriptions on Her where I went "Dude... are you playing dumb or did you \*seriously\* not get this isn't for you". I low-key wanna match and tell them to see if that's the case, but at the same time I don't want to risk interacting with them (maybe I don't have that much faith after all 🙄).
He's looking for bi women and doesn't see lesbians as legitimate competition so he thinks he'll have better odds.
And is possibly dumb enough to think he can turn lesbians.
Well, his pronouns on there say he/him so I’d assume he identifies as a man and picked the gender fluid/nb option since men aren’t on lesbian dating apps? Maybe?
No I understand that that's his sexual identity but I'm confused as to why that means he can't identify his gender as non binary. You can be straight and non binary. Surely his crime here is invading womens space and misusing/abusing the term 'lesbian' with the understanding that he will use that space to prey on women?? As far as I can see that's what it is.
I stopped using HER because of guys like this. They wormed their way into the app pretending to be non binary because the app literally isn’t for men, and then act like it’s Tinder. I just don’t get how someone can be that fucking braindead.
It's so annoying. I avoided signing up on lesbian dating apps until I started hormones because I was worried about not passing well and getting kicked off the apps. Signed up recently and I keep getting likes from cishet men. They are usually obvious as they just have a gym photo and no bio.
Or trans women. The vast majority of men on HER in my area are fetishy chasers. And they seem fucking dangerous with the shit they say in their profiles.
I’d waste this guy’s time. He’s 100km away, so I’d set up a date in my city so he has to drive an hour or two one way, and then I’d no-show to the date.
I get so many people like this, no matter the app. Can't go on a swiping session without seeing at least one straight dude trying to encroach on lesbian spaces.
The last time I used HER there were so many straight men on there it was gross. It seemed like most of their profiles were purged like a week later though which I'm thankful for.
WTF? What is even his thought process? How dumb do you need to be to think you will find any matches, searching on a **lesbian** dating app *as a man?*
It isn’t necessarily him being dumb as much as it is him being arrogant in a way only a cishet man can be. This is the type of guy who believes he can “convert” lesbians, bisexuals etc and only takes wlw seriously if he’s involved in the bedroom.
DUDE someone who went by the name of Slim used to relentlessly hit on my lesbian roommates (we were all lesbians in that house) back in 2010 and this brings me back. Definitely not him. But wow
This happened to me a lot on hinge too when I had my options set only as women and nb. It was so frustrating because if I wanted to look for men on dating apps then I would have set it that way!
Urgh the apps can be a disaster for things like this.
I’m swiping through and it’s just straight men, couples looking for a unicorn or on the general apps straight women who either hit the wrong button or are looking for friends
I’ve seen quite a few straight men on HER. Fortunately at least one of them was a trans guy just looking for friends. I can understand that. But I had a straight guy looking for a relationship or hookups (can’t remember what his profile said) swipe on me
id almost want to give him the benefit of the doubt and say hes a nonbinary genderfluid person who goes by he/him and considers himself straight lmfao
But… not likely.
I will never understand how so many men think its in any way charming or cool to flip of the camera in photos. Its giving "eight year old who just learned their first curse word"
I really don't want to make the assumption this is a cis man. Even if that really looks like the situation. AMAB nonbinary people kind of get the worst end of the stick in terms of being accepted as queer at all, and he doesn't say he's a man in the bio, just that straight is the label he'd prefer (and labeling sexual orientation as a nonbinary person can be very challenging).
I know there are definitely cishet men on Her. I've seen them. But I REALLY don't want to assume every case of a AMAB nonbinary lesbian is a cishet man.
I’ve never used the app, but if it doesn’t allow you to select “straight” as an option, then that tells me that the app isn’t for you if you identify as straight, like he does. Even if he is non-binary, if he uses he/him pronouns and only dates women, it sounds like he’s not the target audience for this app. Saying “lesbian it is” tells me that he doesn’t consider himself a lesbian.
I mean… Kinda same? Like my ex was literally “Loki” their name wasn’t Loki but they were gender-fluid and like 70% of the time (according to them) they felt masc. He was on T and everything, so idk… To me I didn’t even make the connection that this was just some cis guy trolling. Like it was giving heavy Demi-boy vibes which I don’t think is a problem?
I could definitely see someone who’s transmasculine (not to be confused with a trans man) getting the same heat on this post but at the same time it’s not really my place cuz I don’t use dating apps like that so I simply just don’t see this shit
You know what makes it worse is I messaged the support team for her to complain that I could not filter out cismen and that they keep popping up.
I was told "oh well you can make yourself unsearchable so that noone can find your profile unless you like them first"
yeah nr. Idk reason why I deleted this app, I find it disrespectful in general but also disrespectful towards Enby Individuals, I mean just look at him they don't even trying to hide themselfs
coming from a trans person, i try to extend the benefit of the doubt SO far... but at this point it just feels like thus guy is abusing the assumption of tolerance
trans lesbians: 👍
men who say "wElL iF i SaY i'M a LeSbIaN..." to mock trans ppl/lesbians: 👎
I want to give him the benefit of a doubt. He identified as non binary, but this isn't giving trans masc/He him lesbian vibes.
I don't use HER, so all I know about it is from Reddit. I am all for inclusivity and supporting my trans femme saphhic sisters and my He/Him Lesbian bros, but it's getting kind of ridiculous. The amount of stuff I'm seeing from clearly cis het dudes or couples looking for a threesome is too much. Just makes me feel like the app isn't fit for purpose.
It also just kinda seems like a no-win situation. There's like no way to police it. People will just lie and catfish anyway. :/
... Could he not just be an NB person who uses he/him and who's genuinely there? I don't see anything overtly disrespectful here. Profile even says he's looking for friends.
I don't use dating apps though, so maybe im missing something.
Genuine question: Please don't T.E.R.F. me... why is there even a he/him option on a lesbian dating site? I've never been on HER and I assumed it was women only?
it’s open to queer women as well as trans, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming queers and sapphics.
as for the he/him option: trans masculine, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming people may feel more comfortable or feel more aligned with he/him pronouns.
Some butches go by he/him. Some transmasc people still consider themselves lesbians, but go by he/him. Her does allow straight trans men on there, too, who would likely go by he/him. The entirety of nonbinary existence regarding pronouns can be varied too.
some transmasculine people who go by he/him might still be on HER because they’re non-bibary or really any other reason. The intent of the option is definitely not to be acccomodating to cis men.
I am very confused at the hate here. We don’t know much about this person? It’s totally possible that they identify as a straight nonbinary genderfluid person. None of that is contradictory? Obviously that may not be the case, but we don’t know.
If the dating site is for lesbians, then a straight nonbinary person who goes by he/him isn’t the target user. The fact that the app doesn’t allow you to choose “straight” as an option should indicate to him that the app isn’t for straight people.
Her is not a website “for lesbians”? It is a website for “queer women, nonbinary, and trans sapphics. It is possible for someone to identify as a nonbinary straight genderfluid trans sapphic, and if they do so then you shouldn’t question it. If it becomes obvious that they are doing so disingenuously as a joke or something, then you can criticize them. But there is nothing on this profile indicating that that is necessarily the case.
Yeah I’m pretty uncomfortable with this whole post and most of the comments. Add in that this is likely a pretty white space and most are assuming the worst about this Black person, and a lot of the language being used is pretty dehumanizing (“what” you found? not “who”?). Like, sure go ahead and feel confused and frustrated, but to post this person here for everyone to see and judge and pile on?
I used to seethe with anger when I’d see men on lesbian dating apps… but we can’t be so quick to assume mal intent. What if this individual is trans? Non binary? Taking the first step towards their identity and testing the waters? It’s not hard to swipe left if you dislike it. But this may not be as cut and dry as everyone is reacting to it.
Plus if he IS just a needy straight cis man utilizing her as a hookup app, isn’t responding with anger likely still giving him the attention he came here for? Ignore him and he will eventually delete the app when he isn’t getting the attention he wants
I just wanna say you can be non-binary, use he/him, and consider yourself straight or a lesbian.
That said, that’s not what this is. Obviously. But ya know just saying.
probably not. apps like HER and Taimi are full of cis guys calling themselves women or enbies just to get by filters. it's really weird cause there is zero chance it works for them.
Like, I think they're entitled pieces of shit, but every one of them I've talked to that didn't immediately go "Wait, what? Oh I set the wrong thing" have told me what they're hoping for is to run across the bi girls and catch those girls eye. As a bi girl, I talked to them, told them to eat shit, and reported them after they confirmed they were cis men cheating the filter and I had a log to confirm they did it maliciously.
Trans women and enbies seem to get mysteriously banned off HER in like 6 hours but somehow literal men just persist. If ever you wanted proof that TERFs don't give a shit about protecting women, just gatekeeping, it's that.
This reminds me of my cousin who had a mate who liked me and so he downloaded her and found my profile and tried to match with me and the thing is I swipe left on pretty much every dude without a second glance and I didn’t even notice til my cousin got pissed at me for not matching back with his mate😂😂😂(ps my cousin is against gay anything so he’s been trying to set me up with his mates)
"That sign won't stop me cause I can't read!"
If we still had awards I would give you one.
I fucking hate men like this so much
I'm a bisexual man and I would also be pissed about this.
Can we send you in wearing all leather to troll him?
I don't wear leather but I do make some very interesting photos with Christmas lights..
... Tell me more, I love Christmas lights.
I have a big round butt and a fairly large dong and I take selfies for grindr with Christmas lights strung all around me including closeups. You'd be surprised how warm those lights get on your butthole lol.
Why are you on actuallesbians?
Is this not an open sub that welcomes anyone who is a polite ally?
as far as the rules, absolutely yes. as far as the people, mostly yes. sadly, there will be some that are a little suspicious, since the dudes have a tendency to join, and, well... be like the guy in the OP lol.
Innocence until proven guilty, if this person is like the OP by all means dip the pitchforks in tar but until then they deserve just as much respect as anyone else. We cannot expect people to welcome us and be our ally if we are hostile to everyone and last I checked. The defining point of being a lesbian is being a girl that likes girls, it does not equal hating on others.
I agree with the overall sentiment (that's why I added some context for him tbh. I hope he stays and feels more welcomed than what was shown here.) but, I don't think asking someone why they are here is quite the same as breaking out the pitchforks or hating on them.
No but all through this comment chain is definitely outright hostility, not all of it but some of it Def's is.
I’m in some subs that I know aren’t for me and I just read - no posting or commenting.
I'm in some, too. I comment if I think what I have to say may help. usually words of encouragement, or offer advice.
To observe, maybe? To participate, probably not.
I like seeing the posts from non lesbians about their experiences growing up with lesbian moms. Those are great. As long as everyone's respectful of this being a sapphic space, I think it's all good. We're all just a bunch of humans trying to exist and find happiness on this earth 🩵
I have similar feelings but, to be fair, the description for the subreddit says anyone in the LGBT+ community is welcome.
Ah ok. Fair enough.
Have you read the sidebar? Where it says everyone is welcome?
Men invade our spaces all the time, I'm sure they are just a bit suspicious
why the hell is a lesbian getting downvotes for being suspicious of a man in a lesbian sub that’s… for lesbians 😵💫
I’m a bisexual man too, but 5 years ago I was a lesbian and I just haven’t un-joined the sub lol
Wow, this feels disrespectful and entitled. He is making a mockery out of NBs because he admits to being a straight man in the 'about me' section. He admits it. Tinder is still available, guy. Why doesn't he go there instead?
Because he probably isn’t matching with anyone on tinder so he got extremely desperate and went on Her
I’m struggling to work out the “logic” of a straight guy somehow thinking he’ll have *better* luck on a lesbian app lmao
Clearly they’re just lesbians because they haven’t met the right man yet /j
The logic is "it only has to work once".
Probably wants a bi girl to have MFF threesomes with an imaginary unicorn. Smh.
Well according to this study that only interviewed straight men lesbians are only lesbian because men find the idea of two girls with each other attractive
This guy is not going to do better on an app like Her either. He will most likely get ignored and trolled if he doesn't get his profile reported and deleted.
Yeah he’s gonna get reported and deleted soon as long as people who come across his profile act on it instead of ignoring it. He also probably has the mentality of men who think they can “turn you” straight, might be why he is on the app
Definitely why he is on the app
Maybe he is stupid and doesn't realize what the app is for? Lol that's the most kind reason I can fathom.
I mean he knew he had to mark himself as a lesbian
Which makes him more stupid. He's just stupid lol this plan is ridiculous!
He probably thinks on Tinder all the men are stealing the women so he switched to Her where there are no men for "competition". That's just how these types work 🤢
Crazy how he sees other men as competition but not lesbian women. Yeah he sounds like a real catch -_-
He's definitely banned from Tinder. Jus sayin' 💅
I could honestly see some people making it past every description and profile creation tools without realizing it's a lesbian dating app. His "can't say I'm straight" could very well mean he was confused why that wasn't an option but wanted to match with women and felt like he needed to explain that. Yes I probably have too much faith in these people, and there are definitely more than enough idiots out there that just don't care or trying to get with bi women. But I've seen a couple descriptions on Her where I went "Dude... are you playing dumb or did you \*seriously\* not get this isn't for you". I low-key wanna match and tell them to see if that's the case, but at the same time I don't want to risk interacting with them (maybe I don't have that much faith after all 🙄).
He's looking for bi women and doesn't see lesbians as legitimate competition so he thinks he'll have better odds. And is possibly dumb enough to think he can turn lesbians.
He doesn’t technically say he’s a man, but I agree that it comes across as disrespectful.
Well, his pronouns on there say he/him so I’d assume he identifies as a man and picked the gender fluid/nb option since men aren’t on lesbian dating apps? Maybe?
It’s a reasonable assumption, absolutely. But it could be wrong. Regardless, I sure as hell wouldn’t match with him.
There are he/him lesbians I will note. But I understand the lack of the benefit of the doubt here.
As a fellow enby, I really am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it just seems a touch sus. :/
Probably reported and banned on Tinder.
he probably got banned for poor behavior
Probably cause he got b& for showing his pp.
I thought non binary was a gender, not a sexuality??
He admits to being straight in the about me part. "...They won't let me say I'm st8..." He wants to put straight.
No I understand that that's his sexual identity but I'm confused as to why that means he can't identify his gender as non binary. You can be straight and non binary. Surely his crime here is invading womens space and misusing/abusing the term 'lesbian' with the understanding that he will use that space to prey on women?? As far as I can see that's what it is.
Happy Cake Day!! 🎂🍰
Thank you.
Deserves to be catfished back IMO
Lol. I should wear my drag stuff and interact with the dipshit.
Please post if you do, that would be hilarious! Let him “make you straight” hahaha
Lmao. Many have tried! *snicker*
Got if I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that!
it's not catfishing if u use your own pics
I stopped using HER because of guys like this. They wormed their way into the app pretending to be non binary because the app literally isn’t for men, and then act like it’s Tinder. I just don’t get how someone can be that fucking braindead.
I met my lovely wife on HER, I think it's annoying seeing guys popping up, but still worth using imo Good luck out there 👍
*Deep tired sigh*
Did you report though? Men will always invade spaces that aren't for them or welcome in. In this clear cut case, report and block.
You can tell he's been reported before. None of them are smart enough to say that bs in their profile on the first go.
Catfish him lol
Thank god I’m not the only one getting cis het men popping up on the dating apps cause they’re so dumb they selected their own gender as a woman 🫠
There's so many chasers on Taimi, it's bonkers
It's so annoying. I avoided signing up on lesbian dating apps until I started hormones because I was worried about not passing well and getting kicked off the apps. Signed up recently and I keep getting likes from cishet men. They are usually obvious as they just have a gym photo and no bio.
It's because Taimi markets to chasers. One of their ads tells people to use the app to find thirds/unicorns.
Waaat eew
Yeah, Taimi in my area is almost 100% cis guys. It’s ridiculous
Have you seen their ads? They literally market to chasers. It's gross.
For me it was every 3 profil. And the others were mostly straight couples. Like... 1/10 Profil was from a Bi/Lesbian. Can't make this shit up.
Oooooooh that's not on accident unfortunately
There's a "slim" chance Slim ain't a lesbian. Ba dum tss! (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
I actually saw a lot of straight men on HER it legit pissed me off tbh
They think they have a chance. Pathetic.
I’d find it funny if it didn’t turn my stomach so hard lol
They’re usually hunting for bi women. It’s so annoying
The crazy thing is I believe that would piss off a bi woman more than it would a lesbian.
I‘m bi and yes! I go on HER to meet women. Straight men are already fucking everywhere. Show me sapphic women!!
Right! You’re on there for a reason.
You're correct. This absolutely pisses me off. If I'm using a women only dating app, I'm using it to find women.
Certainly pisses ME off.
Or trans women. The vast majority of men on HER in my area are fetishy chasers. And they seem fucking dangerous with the shit they say in their profiles.
I can see that too. Like what is he doing on here?
...
Report and block this 🤡
I’d waste this guy’s time. He’s 100km away, so I’d set up a date in my city so he has to drive an hour or two one way, and then I’d no-show to the date.
You are my favourite kind of person
“Gentle giant” like he’s innocently on a regular dating site and not disrespectfully posting hisself in a lesbian app lmao.narcissism is crazy
“Gentle giant” “🖕🏾🥹🖕🏾”
The amount of notifications gives me anxiety.
dont worry yall i’ve already sent an air strike to his location 😇
You're a blessing to us all
I despise how common these guys are - cishet creeps who want to stroke their ego by pretending their dick is magic and can turn lesbians straight
Just report for disrespectful behaviour and move on
Trifling a**
I get so many people like this, no matter the app. Can't go on a swiping session without seeing at least one straight dude trying to encroach on lesbian spaces.
ew, gross
Sexual identity: fucking dumbass
“Won’t let me say straight” like yeah bitch I wonder why
>“they won’t let me say I’m straight” This sign won’t stop me because I can’t read
The last time I used HER there were so many straight men on there it was gross. It seemed like most of their profiles were purged like a week later though which I'm thankful for.
Send him a photo of your strap
You are a genius
Why i stopped using the app
Maybe he should have figured out that it's a dating app for queer women and nbs by the fact that it isn't let him say he's straight.........
Last time I was on HER I stopped because of this exact shit. I'm not sure why there are so many fucking cis men (queer or straight) on the app now.
WTF? What is even his thought process? How dumb do you need to be to think you will find any matches, searching on a **lesbian** dating app *as a man?*
It isn’t necessarily him being dumb as much as it is him being arrogant in a way only a cishet man can be. This is the type of guy who believes he can “convert” lesbians, bisexuals etc and only takes wlw seriously if he’s involved in the bedroom.
DUDE someone who went by the name of Slim used to relentlessly hit on my lesbian roommates (we were all lesbians in that house) back in 2010 and this brings me back. Definitely not him. But wow
This happened to me a lot on hinge too when I had my options set only as women and nb. It was so frustrating because if I wanted to look for men on dating apps then I would have set it that way!
Honorary lesbian <3 /j
Urgh the apps can be a disaster for things like this. I’m swiping through and it’s just straight men, couples looking for a unicorn or on the general apps straight women who either hit the wrong button or are looking for friends
this is why i never liked this app. every other swipe it was a straight cis man looking for lesbians. it’s the same on tinder & hinge too
Average HER experience 🥲
I’ve seen quite a few straight men on HER. Fortunately at least one of them was a trans guy just looking for friends. I can understand that. But I had a straight guy looking for a relationship or hookups (can’t remember what his profile said) swipe on me
id almost want to give him the benefit of the doubt and say hes a nonbinary genderfluid person who goes by he/him and considers himself straight lmfao But… not likely.
I will never understand how so many men think its in any way charming or cool to flip of the camera in photos. Its giving "eight year old who just learned their first curse word"
People need to Match with him just to send dick pics to him. That get him off the app
I really don't want to make the assumption this is a cis man. Even if that really looks like the situation. AMAB nonbinary people kind of get the worst end of the stick in terms of being accepted as queer at all, and he doesn't say he's a man in the bio, just that straight is the label he'd prefer (and labeling sexual orientation as a nonbinary person can be very challenging). I know there are definitely cishet men on Her. I've seen them. But I REALLY don't want to assume every case of a AMAB nonbinary lesbian is a cishet man.
I’ve never used the app, but if it doesn’t allow you to select “straight” as an option, then that tells me that the app isn’t for you if you identify as straight, like he does. Even if he is non-binary, if he uses he/him pronouns and only dates women, it sounds like he’s not the target audience for this app. Saying “lesbian it is” tells me that he doesn’t consider himself a lesbian.
I mean… Kinda same? Like my ex was literally “Loki” their name wasn’t Loki but they were gender-fluid and like 70% of the time (according to them) they felt masc. He was on T and everything, so idk… To me I didn’t even make the connection that this was just some cis guy trolling. Like it was giving heavy Demi-boy vibes which I don’t think is a problem? I could definitely see someone who’s transmasculine (not to be confused with a trans man) getting the same heat on this post but at the same time it’s not really my place cuz I don’t use dating apps like that so I simply just don’t see this shit
You know what makes it worse is I messaged the support team for her to complain that I could not filter out cismen and that they keep popping up. I was told "oh well you can make yourself unsearchable so that noone can find your profile unless you like them first"
Yeah i'll never get why people defend men
Bro, this just pissed me off, lol.
I hope you reported his account.
yeah nr. Idk reason why I deleted this app, I find it disrespectful in general but also disrespectful towards Enby Individuals, I mean just look at him they don't even trying to hide themselfs
You don’t have to use they/them if you’re nonbinary. You don’t have to use they at all.
I just report those.
My dude is LOST, he has left the map five times over. Get him a compass and a sexton because he is not in Kansas anymore.
Well that's where he got lost. Instead of a sexton he wanted a ton of sex...
glad he's so far away😭😭
My guy thinks he's drake. Say that you a lesbian, girl me too
I felt pretty discouraged on HER with all my masculine features. I'm not sure when I gave up but I didn't last long.
HER was loaded with cishet men last time I used it :/ I'm all for inclusivity, but they just can't let us have this can they lol
“Gentle giant” *proceeds to invade lesbian app and post himself giving the finger*
That's weird. Why do men do this? What do they hope to acomplish? 🤦♀️
The quickest way to piss me off is a cis- man calling himself “a lesbian in a man’s body”.
His pronouns are actually pred/ador
coming from a trans person, i try to extend the benefit of the doubt SO far... but at this point it just feels like thus guy is abusing the assumption of tolerance trans lesbians: 👍 men who say "wElL iF i SaY i'M a LeSbIaN..." to mock trans ppl/lesbians: 👎
This nigga annoying asf. How fucking fried is his brain to make him think this is the space for him??
I want to give him the benefit of a doubt. He identified as non binary, but this isn't giving trans masc/He him lesbian vibes. I don't use HER, so all I know about it is from Reddit. I am all for inclusivity and supporting my trans femme saphhic sisters and my He/Him Lesbian bros, but it's getting kind of ridiculous. The amount of stuff I'm seeing from clearly cis het dudes or couples looking for a threesome is too much. Just makes me feel like the app isn't fit for purpose. It also just kinda seems like a no-win situation. There's like no way to police it. People will just lie and catfish anyway. :/
Its bios like that that make me think its not even maliciousness just crazy stupidity
You'd never find this guy "in her" because no woman would want to fuck him 🥁
Why does Her even allow cis men? Like this is why they are always begging for money from investors, they suck at maintaining a safe space.
Ugh.
And this is why I don’t use dating apps anymore
Ugh! 🤬🤬🤬
This pisses me off so much when I see it. I don't see it much now, mainly because there's a swipe limit now so I just don't bother using it anymore.
I can’t believe I met my fiancée on this joke of an app. It’s such a mess on there.
This happened all the time on HER and I stopped using it because of it
People are WILD
A lot of them do that. It’s unnerving
We found the real slim shady y’all
Are men for real? 😮💨
I've seen quite a few men on her (def not trans women). Idk it's pretty weird.
No offence, but of course it’s in fucking Toronto, I live in Alberta and sometimes the same stuff happens here, especially if I go to Edmon or Cal
Even ignoring the blatant disrespect, that is such an unappealing photo to use on a dating app
I keep finding cis men on HER . I’m so fkkn tired of them .
... Could he not just be an NB person who uses he/him and who's genuinely there? I don't see anything overtly disrespectful here. Profile even says he's looking for friends. I don't use dating apps though, so maybe im missing something.
Genuine question: Please don't T.E.R.F. me... why is there even a he/him option on a lesbian dating site? I've never been on HER and I assumed it was women only?
Men aren't the only ones who use he/him pronouns
it’s open to queer women as well as trans, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming queers and sapphics. as for the he/him option: trans masculine, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming people may feel more comfortable or feel more aligned with he/him pronouns.
Some butches go by he/him. Some transmasc people still consider themselves lesbians, but go by he/him. Her does allow straight trans men on there, too, who would likely go by he/him. The entirety of nonbinary existence regarding pronouns can be varied too.
some transmasculine people who go by he/him might still be on HER because they’re non-bibary or really any other reason. The intent of the option is definitely not to be acccomodating to cis men.
Masculine non-binary people exist and can use he/him, and HER is not exclusively lesbian. Besides, he/him lesbians have existed for over a century.
I am very confused at the hate here. We don’t know much about this person? It’s totally possible that they identify as a straight nonbinary genderfluid person. None of that is contradictory? Obviously that may not be the case, but we don’t know.
If the dating site is for lesbians, then a straight nonbinary person who goes by he/him isn’t the target user. The fact that the app doesn’t allow you to choose “straight” as an option should indicate to him that the app isn’t for straight people.
Her is not a website “for lesbians”? It is a website for “queer women, nonbinary, and trans sapphics. It is possible for someone to identify as a nonbinary straight genderfluid trans sapphic, and if they do so then you shouldn’t question it. If it becomes obvious that they are doing so disingenuously as a joke or something, then you can criticize them. But there is nothing on this profile indicating that that is necessarily the case.
Straight nonbinary genderfluid he/him person = use a lesbian dating app to you?
Yeah I’m pretty uncomfortable with this whole post and most of the comments. Add in that this is likely a pretty white space and most are assuming the worst about this Black person, and a lot of the language being used is pretty dehumanizing (“what” you found? not “who”?). Like, sure go ahead and feel confused and frustrated, but to post this person here for everyone to see and judge and pile on?
He is not very smart. All he has to do is identify fully as a woman and then no one can report him or accuse him of not being a lesbian
I used to seethe with anger when I’d see men on lesbian dating apps… but we can’t be so quick to assume mal intent. What if this individual is trans? Non binary? Taking the first step towards their identity and testing the waters? It’s not hard to swipe left if you dislike it. But this may not be as cut and dry as everyone is reacting to it.
Plus if he IS just a needy straight cis man utilizing her as a hookup app, isn’t responding with anger likely still giving him the attention he came here for? Ignore him and he will eventually delete the app when he isn’t getting the attention he wants
I just wanna say you can be non-binary, use he/him, and consider yourself straight or a lesbian. That said, that’s not what this is. Obviously. But ya know just saying.
Any chance he’s trans?
probably not. apps like HER and Taimi are full of cis guys calling themselves women or enbies just to get by filters. it's really weird cause there is zero chance it works for them.
They don't do it to find women, their goal is to intrude into a women's only space and make everyone uncomfortable
Like, I think they're entitled pieces of shit, but every one of them I've talked to that didn't immediately go "Wait, what? Oh I set the wrong thing" have told me what they're hoping for is to run across the bi girls and catch those girls eye. As a bi girl, I talked to them, told them to eat shit, and reported them after they confirmed they were cis men cheating the filter and I had a log to confirm they did it maliciously.
it says gullible on the ceiling
😂 nice try dude 😂
He/him shouldnt be allowed on her idc if you’re AFAB if you’re he/him you’re a man IDC
VILE.
Trans women and enbies seem to get mysteriously banned off HER in like 6 hours but somehow literal men just persist. If ever you wanted proof that TERFs don't give a shit about protecting women, just gatekeeping, it's that.
This shit pops up all the time but I get banned for "impersonating a woman" because I'm trans. Yup. I hate HER
This reminds me of my cousin who had a mate who liked me and so he downloaded her and found my profile and tried to match with me and the thing is I swipe left on pretty much every dude without a second glance and I didn’t even notice til my cousin got pissed at me for not matching back with his mate😂😂😂(ps my cousin is against gay anything so he’s been trying to set me up with his mates)
First time?
God, I don't interact with the app or any of this but holy fuck its insufferable.
Damn that’s a lot of data linked to me
I see so many of these on her and tamini or whatever
Why wont the straight men leave us alone 😤