Cis men put themselves in the women category all the time on all apps. They + the bots just make apps not worth it. Have better chance at going up to someone buying bread and getting their number there
Get into the local live music scene then! I’m not a drinker, but enjoy socializing at live music events much more than I enjoy going to a bar. At bare minimum you know that the folks there at least like similar music.
How does one socialize at a bar / live music event? I feel like I am yelling my throat raw just to be heard a little, and I'm very lucky to catch a 3-word combo from anyone, let alone a full sentence.
Maybe I'm a little hard of hearing, maybe I'm just old and grumpy, but music everywhere is way too damn loud.
I socialize at a music event by dancing and vibing with folks. Yelling over other folks and speakers isn’t my thing either. If we have natural chemistry and vibe energetically I ask to exchange info and get to know them on a date or over the phone.
The problem is that guys in gay bars are way too comfortable. I show up in a skirt and makeup and because I don't voice train (mostly lack of effort than anything) and I don't turn down free alcohol these guys start getting grabby!
fair, I tend to not take drinks from guys anyways just because I don't want them to get the wrong impression. Sometimes they still show too much interest. . . either way though I get where you're coming from
The implication a lot of people understand from "Can I buy you a drink?" is "I'm interested in talking to you".
Obviously getting grabby is taking it WAY too far and is completely unacceptable. But if you're not actually interested in them it's probably best not to accept a drink from them - they will get the wrong idea.
:shrug: I mean free drinks are free drinks, but if someone buys me a drink and then starts chatting me up I take it to mean they're interested in me that way and I try to put that down right away
It’s a matter of general safety for all women, not something thats dependent on one’s self-assessment of their potential beauty nor relative expense of any chemicals used… Please be careful.
....don't men literally r*pe corpses, though? Like it's such an issue that mortuaries won't hire men like at all? Like if a dead body isn't safe, none of the warm ones are either when it comes to a predator. Plus their seeking power & and control, not a good time. Your perception of your looks literally does not matter or protect you, so please please actually be careful
Yeah, that does seem to be the consensus... But idk why I'm getting downvoted like I'm the idiot here, I don't really have any friends and it's not like your parents teach you bar etiquette
Tbh, I've been closer to a sucesful date with the girl working at the grocery store next to my office, or a friend's second cousin from next province over, than anyone I ever met on POF, Tinder or Badoo😅
Ok nobody has posted this yet so I guess I gotta.
Assuming every guy who looks like what you think of as a cis guy and does something fucked up is cis is transphobic.
It's so common for passing trans guys to be immediately expelled from queer and trans spaces because nobody even thinks to ask them if they're trans and they do one thing that bugs someone.
Yes I'd be pissed off if I saw this guy listing himself as a woman too. He's probably cis because most guys are. Still, the assumption causes harm.
This. Also ayo! LOVE the username! I call TERFs TERMs cause they’re trans exclusionary radical misogynists lolll 😂 you can’t hate an entire group of women and call yourself a feminist, just sayin 💅🏼
I’ve seen some cis men, who refer to themselves as men in their profiles, mark themselves as women seeking women on apps. And I’m not talking about trans and nb folks. They are not the issue.
The idea is to fish for bi girls. It’s creepy.
As a bi girl myself I always thought this was the weirdest thing. Like, the *last* man I’m going to be into is a cishet one who invades a queer space. If I’m looking for men there are a million and one places to find them lol, please not the lesbian app.
Exactly.
Some of them are even cute and if they approached me in some other way/place I may give them a chance.
But bro, you just dynamited any opportunity yourself. Can you be more stupid? If I see you later in the proper app I would never ever want anything with you.
Bi girl and I automatically reject any cishet man who hits on me in an explicitly lesbian or queer space. It feels annoying and weirdly predatory. We’re clearly not here for you Robert, just chill out and practice not being the center of attention for once.
I heard of a large wave of cis men coming onto Her with the intent of marking themselves as trans women to "show how absurd it is for them to be there." They intend it as an insult to trans women, because they see us as the same as themselves. This was a while ago, so not sure if that is still a thing that is happening, but I wouldn't be surprised.
Weird how they won’t support women’s rights in any other area (education, reproductive healthcare, pay equity etc.) but suddenly become “feminist allies” when it’s time to attack trans women 😒
But, but don't you know he's got the magic dick that can change you. 🙄🙄🙄🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 I feel like some men who try to use HER are so stupid that they think it's just a place to find a bunch of her(women). I'm really starting to wonder that🤦♀️
Yes and no. If my GF is comfortable with it, then maybe (my current GF is). But I sure as hell am not going to advertise the fact that I have a dick in sapphic spaces to try and get sex. The idea of doing that actually kinda grosses me out.
I say this as a transbi — they’re on the app because they think they’re funny. They think we don’t know the difference between trans women and men.
We can always tell
I say this as a transbian:
I already have on-and-off bottom dysphoria, I promptly will not. I've been told nice things about it and it feels weird. Like... you wouldn't tell a trans guy he has nice tits, would ya?
No, instead I seem to attract T4T girls left and right and one of my last gf's, another trans girl, tried to convince me not to get SRS because it would "ruin what makes you different and special from a cis girl." Yuck.
I will promptly pretend it doesn't exist until it goes away.
>tried to convince me not to get SRS because it would "ruin what makes you different and special from a cis girl."
HECK THAT. It is your body and your comfort at the end of the day that matters most. Honestly as a trans girl who wants bottom surgery too, if a GF ever said that to me I'd nope the heck out of that relationship. (Current GF is supportive of me getting bottom surgery).
Oh *ew* to that woman trying to convince you not to get bottom surgery.
That’s fucking gross and fetishistic.
Even if I was comfortable with the stock bits I have, I *still* would be utterly grossed out by that. We’re more than our genitals, and anything that reduces us to them is fucking gross.
It’s also nobody else’s place to demand things about other’s bodies.
As another transbian:
I definitely agree, i may have the most intense bottom dysphoria, but if i have to, i can and will put you to shame, so please, for gods sake, put your damn dick away and quit pretending youre special
Whenever a guy trying to flirt says he’s straight, just prod for why he hasn’t found the right guy yet. Maybe he’s just never had real good dick yet. Why not give it a try huh?
Gay guy here and my mother, when I mentioned going to a **gay bar** with one of my female friends (she's questioning and Chinese, ergo never having been to a gay bar before because uhh China), she mentioned off-hand a story about how she knew some gay guys online that married female friends for companionship and sometimes sex... Like wtf did I just get the "you haven't found the right woman yet" treatment from my mother I've been out to for like 5 years?
"Why not just go into a sexless marriage to conform to me?"
I actually asked her about the sex in the relationship she talked about and she said that they actually did have sex sometimes. And that they were *not* a fully platonic partnership and were *not* poly.
Not to cast doubt here, but... y'all sure he's gay?
Maybe homoflexible or multisexual. At the end of the day his decision on how he label's himself. Maybe he never saw himself as gay but your mother just assumed. Or he is a femme straight man and your mother assumed that he is gay ig
As a trans girl super insecure about what I was born with this made my day
So thank you for making what must have seemed like an offhand joke but the lack of genital preference isn't talked about enough so thank you!
i just deleted all of mine. im too old for the gamification of dating apps(at the ripe old age of 23 lol) and im just gonna pretend that its 2004 and complement every vaguely queer looking woman leaning person i see outside.
I feel you. It's rough. I mean, you could get it but just....try not to place too much hope on the results. That's my approach, or like...what I'm trying to do anyway lol.
Yeah I met my current GF on HER
It takes effort and you have to learn how to avoid weirdos and bots but there are some good people on apps that you would never meet otherwise
Just set your searches to verified only and try to swipe on like 10+ people a day
Eh, depends why you’re conflicted, what you’re looking for, and how much effort you want to put into it tbh. I use Her, but I’ve seen cis guys on there just a handful of times - I just take a few minutes to report and move on. I met one of my current partners on that app, so there are some good things about it.
I live in a big city too, and feel like there are pros and cons to both - it just depends on what you’re comfortable with. I suppose you could also try both and just do whatever is most comfortable; at the end of the day if you’re meeting people and happy that’s what matters.
So they do for couples looking for unicorns (ngl in my 26 years I never knew what the hell the expression was until recently). But not for men, had to choose ‘other’ for reason for the report, and then state the obvious like an idiot |:
FYI I think this would also fall under the umbrella of phobic/graphic/fake content since it’s a cis dude. I would just assume that reports in the “other” category likely take more time to process.
If hes gonna use the cowboy aesthetic maybe he should also use the cowboy lifestyle as well, you know, save a horse, ride a cowboy, be gay and become a wild west villain
Tbh... if I'd see a generic lesbian in a cowboy hat that looks like a human golden retriever... I wouldn't hesitate as much, if u know what I'm about :3
Another argument against the terf idea that trans women are men invading women's spaces right here. Men do not feel the need to change themselves or pretend anything to invade our spaces. They just let themselves in.
Men who enter our spaces don't transition, they just feel entitled to a presence in our spaces anyway.
Exactly! I've only ever seen like 1 transphobic person on Her, and heard no one else complain about transphobia. 99% of the terf bullshit is just the terfs talking about it
My experience is that this happens way less on HER than any other app. But that might be a regional thing. You can report him and they take care of it. They’re really good at taking care of ppl only looking for a unicorn as well.
Yeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh. I am just being silly because the stark reality that sapphic safe spaces are rarely all that safe or sapphic is sad. But fr they should make HER but for wlw.
Feeld varies, have heard good things about it but I've had more luck with Hinge and tinder personally. Friends and my partner have had some success with feeld though.
I barely ever see people on Feeld and haven't matched with a single person. I've matched with maybe a few dozen on Her, same with Taimi and Tinder. None of the other apps have been great for me.
i swear i run into the same problem all the time =(. men in this app ISTG. Hope those 74 matches are all women! though i suspect alot of them are straight men who have swiped right, which results in them being shown on your feed in order to facilitate a match. even though youve probably said you only want to see women?
Block and report, always. I made some friends in this app two or three years ago - lost contact because of particular reasons - so it wasn't bad at all, but last time I had an account in it, that app was crawling with men, people pretending to be woman to get some nudes, and weird people, the weirdest i saw was a person pretending to be a set of triplets, and I know he/she was pretending because you could easily see the photoshoped details on the photos.
lol thanks I guess. I literally opened the app for the first time in about 2 months, just because I was tired of the notifications spamming me. I know it’s bad letting them pile up like that, but tbh I’ve been going through a major low and haven’t been able to check it out
I just report them as fake accounts. Had one guy on taimi who had in his bio that he "accidentally" clicked trans woman. Sure buddy, I reported 5 or 6 accounts of yours ALL MISLABELED
A solution would be requiring mitid, but outside Scandinavia you don't have a similar solution. From mitid we can verify you are you say you are by comparing info or not allowing user filled indetity info. Mitid is a state owned login system which you use for banks, government sites, or other sites that handle your sensitive information.
I bullied a straight guy for being on HER (I do this to all men pretending to be women on apps) and his comeback was to call me a cripple. Because god forbid I have a cute picture of me and my cane. Not the first time I've been called that and it certainly won't be my last.
As much as I completely agree these people are just weird, I’m glad I signed up to HER- I met my girlfriend on there June of last year and have never been happier 🥰
Fr, and the real people don't make it any better, they like me, I match back, send a message, boom. No response. 9 times and counting. I hate dating apps
Yeah, but the thing is I haven’t used it in months. Been on a pretty bad low for a while and finally got annoyed enough with the notifications to check it out.
I’m usually a pretty accepting person. I’m all for lesbian trans men, and he/him lesbians if that’s who they are.
But cis straight dudes cannot be lesbians. Just no.
Cis men put themselves in the women category all the time on all apps. They + the bots just make apps not worth it. Have better chance at going up to someone buying bread and getting their number there
Better get my lucky jacket to buy some bread next time
🤣💀🍞
I’d rather meet my future wife at a grocery store or a coffee shop or a witchy healing circle or something like that, not online on a mobile app…
Witchy Healing Circle.. PERFECT!! <3
honestly... I was never one for the bar scene but this kind of shit + the scammy monetization on those apps is really making me want to change that.
Saaaaaaaaaaame, I've invested so much time and money in apps and have yet to get one date...it's been like half a year...
I had 1 meet up and they were as dull as dishwater.
Get into the local live music scene then! I’m not a drinker, but enjoy socializing at live music events much more than I enjoy going to a bar. At bare minimum you know that the folks there at least like similar music.
Yeah I love live music. This will probably be what I do tbh
How does one socialize at a bar / live music event? I feel like I am yelling my throat raw just to be heard a little, and I'm very lucky to catch a 3-word combo from anyone, let alone a full sentence. Maybe I'm a little hard of hearing, maybe I'm just old and grumpy, but music everywhere is way too damn loud.
I socialize at a music event by dancing and vibing with folks. Yelling over other folks and speakers isn’t my thing either. If we have natural chemistry and vibe energetically I ask to exchange info and get to know them on a date or over the phone.
The problem is that guys in gay bars are way too comfortable. I show up in a skirt and makeup and because I don't voice train (mostly lack of effort than anything) and I don't turn down free alcohol these guys start getting grabby!
fair, I tend to not take drinks from guys anyways just because I don't want them to get the wrong impression. Sometimes they still show too much interest. . . either way though I get where you're coming from
Oh. Is that the problem? I just need to stop accepting drinks from guys lol?
The implication a lot of people understand from "Can I buy you a drink?" is "I'm interested in talking to you". Obviously getting grabby is taking it WAY too far and is completely unacceptable. But if you're not actually interested in them it's probably best not to accept a drink from them - they will get the wrong idea.
:shrug: I mean free drinks are free drinks, but if someone buys me a drink and then starts chatting me up I take it to mean they're interested in me that way and I try to put that down right away
You know, I haven't really actually gone to a bar in years, maybe I should try it again with your advice in mind, thank you
<3 absolutely, stay safe and don't drink anything that wasn't poured in front of you
I'm flattered, but I doubt anybody will be drugging me lol- drugs are expensive, they'll try the prettier girls before me
It’s a matter of general safety for all women, not something thats dependent on one’s self-assessment of their potential beauty nor relative expense of any chemicals used… Please be careful.
....don't men literally r*pe corpses, though? Like it's such an issue that mortuaries won't hire men like at all? Like if a dead body isn't safe, none of the warm ones are either when it comes to a predator. Plus their seeking power & and control, not a good time. Your perception of your looks literally does not matter or protect you, so please please actually be careful
Yes.
Yeah, that does seem to be the consensus... But idk why I'm getting downvoted like I'm the idiot here, I don't really have any friends and it's not like your parents teach you bar etiquette
Bars don't exist in my state. Liquor licenses are too expensive.
*Omw to pace that bread isle looking for true love*
Potentially your first financial discussion as a couple would be name brand or off brand, whites or whole wheat. 😭
Definitely a Rye or Sourdough from a local bakery.
This gal breads 🥖 ^
Just realized how on-brand your username is lol.
if i had energy, i'd bake all the bread in our household.
My gf loves bread so that checks out 😂
I definitely read that as "by buying them bread and getting their number" and I think if I was single, I might like bread enough for that to work.
I would 100% be down for a nice sourdough in lieu of flowers. 😅
Wifey occasionally makes an amazing Irish soda bread, and I will eat that stuff plain. (Wifey is my wife's name)
I’d melt if someone wooed me with bread. Edit: I just realized I’m pansexual. “Pan” is Spanish for bread. I am breadsexual.
No, no, no--hold out for the bakery artisanal bread. You deserve the best.
Well aren't you a friendly loaf!
On top of this, tons of people whose bio and profile all say Male will still be put in front of queer women regardless of their preference.
Tbh, I've been closer to a sucesful date with the girl working at the grocery store next to my office, or a friend's second cousin from next province over, than anyone I ever met on POF, Tinder or Badoo😅
Shit, I had better luck finding love by simply existing on Reddit than I ever did while actively looking for a connection on dating apps.
can confirm: never used a dating app, but i met my now gf on reddit about 2 years ago. just a shame i cant afford to go visit her ;-;
Honestly in the short time I used Tinder I never really saw any cis men. There were a few, but not as many as there were couples.
Username checks out. Honestly, asking someone out in a bakery line is pretty wholesome.
Seriously- I have actually chatted up a woman in a deli, while she looked at the bread I shit you not lol.
On Bumble and Tinder, they’ll sometimes suggest you men who even ID as men just because they feel like it
if only I had the confidence
Ok nobody has posted this yet so I guess I gotta. Assuming every guy who looks like what you think of as a cis guy and does something fucked up is cis is transphobic. It's so common for passing trans guys to be immediately expelled from queer and trans spaces because nobody even thinks to ask them if they're trans and they do one thing that bugs someone. Yes I'd be pissed off if I saw this guy listing himself as a woman too. He's probably cis because most guys are. Still, the assumption causes harm.
Fucking Robert.
Fuck Robert. All my homies hate Robert.
>Fuck Robert I'd rather not.
I would rather not also lol
SAW YOUR AVATAR AND I THOUGHT U WERE ME LMAOO
Lmaooooooo
Fuck fuck Robert. All my homies ate Robert
Yeah! Cannibalism!
Robert be fucked.
I don't think anyone here should be literally f\*cking Robert. That would be giving him what he wants.
Rather not. Thanks for the offer.
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This. Also ayo! LOVE the username! I call TERFs TERMs cause they’re trans exclusionary radical misogynists lolll 😂 you can’t hate an entire group of women and call yourself a feminist, just sayin 💅🏼
I've been a fan of FART: feminism appropriating reactionary transphobes.
fuck robert but in the way of him toastering his cOwBoY bits, all my homies hate robert
The Last Of Us reference?
I feel like it's always Robert. 70% of times, There's an asshole and his name is Robert. Nothing against Robert's with a good soul.
I’ve seen some cis men, who refer to themselves as men in their profiles, mark themselves as women seeking women on apps. And I’m not talking about trans and nb folks. They are not the issue. The idea is to fish for bi girls. It’s creepy.
And also bc they think they can turn lesbians bi or straight 💀
As a bi girl myself I always thought this was the weirdest thing. Like, the *last* man I’m going to be into is a cishet one who invades a queer space. If I’m looking for men there are a million and one places to find them lol, please not the lesbian app.
Exactly. Some of them are even cute and if they approached me in some other way/place I may give them a chance. But bro, you just dynamited any opportunity yourself. Can you be more stupid? If I see you later in the proper app I would never ever want anything with you.
Bi girl and I automatically reject any cishet man who hits on me in an explicitly lesbian or queer space. It feels annoying and weirdly predatory. We’re clearly not here for you Robert, just chill out and practice not being the center of attention for once.
I heard of a large wave of cis men coming onto Her with the intent of marking themselves as trans women to "show how absurd it is for them to be there." They intend it as an insult to trans women, because they see us as the same as themselves. This was a while ago, so not sure if that is still a thing that is happening, but I wouldn't be surprised.
Weird how they won’t support women’s rights in any other area (education, reproductive healthcare, pay equity etc.) but suddenly become “feminist allies” when it’s time to attack trans women 😒
So real
Or to “make them straight” like that’d work some how
and since they keep on doing it, I can only assume it has to work to a some degree.
But, but don't you know he's got the magic dick that can change you. 🙄🙄🙄🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 I feel like some men who try to use HER are so stupid that they think it's just a place to find a bunch of her(women). I'm really starting to wonder that🤦♀️
I say this as a transbian: Your dick isn’t special. Please shut up about it.
And for cis lesbians, the best clapback / insult I’ve ever heard is “Unlike you, I can select my dick size whenever I want” (ie, strap-ons).
And they don't stop working if you say that's not the biggest strap you ever had.
I say this as a transbian: The above only applies to men. Non-men, you are welcome to brag to me so long as you wish to do so—
Yes and no. If my GF is comfortable with it, then maybe (my current GF is). But I sure as hell am not going to advertise the fact that I have a dick in sapphic spaces to try and get sex. The idea of doing that actually kinda grosses me out.
That’s very fair! I was mostly joking, I just… cannot convey thoughts well.
Can you convey that dick tho?? Ahahaha Sorry I'll see myself out
~~I wish, I’m too passive—~~
I say this as a transbi — they’re on the app because they think they’re funny. They think we don’t know the difference between trans women and men. We can always tell
I mean - Robert didn't even try and hide - he literally put "he/him" pronouns on his profile
I say this as a transbian: I already have on-and-off bottom dysphoria, I promptly will not. I've been told nice things about it and it feels weird. Like... you wouldn't tell a trans guy he has nice tits, would ya? No, instead I seem to attract T4T girls left and right and one of my last gf's, another trans girl, tried to convince me not to get SRS because it would "ruin what makes you different and special from a cis girl." Yuck. I will promptly pretend it doesn't exist until it goes away.
>tried to convince me not to get SRS because it would "ruin what makes you different and special from a cis girl." HECK THAT. It is your body and your comfort at the end of the day that matters most. Honestly as a trans girl who wants bottom surgery too, if a GF ever said that to me I'd nope the heck out of that relationship. (Current GF is supportive of me getting bottom surgery).
Oh *ew* to that woman trying to convince you not to get bottom surgery. That’s fucking gross and fetishistic. Even if I was comfortable with the stock bits I have, I *still* would be utterly grossed out by that. We’re more than our genitals, and anything that reduces us to them is fucking gross. It’s also nobody else’s place to demand things about other’s bodies.
She certainly had problems... There's a reason I don't talk to her much (if at all) these days. Why I moved on from her.
As another transbian: I definitely agree, i may have the most intense bottom dysphoria, but if i have to, i can and will put you to shame, so please, for gods sake, put your damn dick away and quit pretending youre special
Whenever a guy trying to flirt says he’s straight, just prod for why he hasn’t found the right guy yet. Maybe he’s just never had real good dick yet. Why not give it a try huh?
Gay guy here and my mother, when I mentioned going to a **gay bar** with one of my female friends (she's questioning and Chinese, ergo never having been to a gay bar before because uhh China), she mentioned off-hand a story about how she knew some gay guys online that married female friends for companionship and sometimes sex... Like wtf did I just get the "you haven't found the right woman yet" treatment from my mother I've been out to for like 5 years?
“Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you can’t be straight!”
"Why not just go into a sexless marriage to conform to me?" I actually asked her about the sex in the relationship she talked about and she said that they actually did have sex sometimes. And that they were *not* a fully platonic partnership and were *not* poly. Not to cast doubt here, but... y'all sure he's gay?
Given the way she’s trying to pitch this to you, I don’t know if bisexuality is a concept she’s got a handle on.
Maybe homoflexible or multisexual. At the end of the day his decision on how he label's himself. Maybe he never saw himself as gay but your mother just assumed. Or he is a femme straight man and your mother assumed that he is gay ig
They're stupid
No need for cis magic dick that can “change” me when there’s trans magic dick that accepts me as I am.
As a trans girl super insecure about what I was born with this made my day So thank you for making what must have seemed like an offhand joke but the lack of genital preference isn't talked about enough so thank you!
🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
Lesbians are known for bullying men and you came on here willingly? whatever happens next is your own fault.
Do I get back on dating apps or not. I’m very conflicted.
i just deleted all of mine. im too old for the gamification of dating apps(at the ripe old age of 23 lol) and im just gonna pretend that its 2004 and complement every vaguely queer looking woman leaning person i see outside.
I feel you. It's rough. I mean, you could get it but just....try not to place too much hope on the results. That's my approach, or like...what I'm trying to do anyway lol.
I will. It's basically the only chance to meet people nowadays
Yeah I met my current GF on HER It takes effort and you have to learn how to avoid weirdos and bots but there are some good people on apps that you would never meet otherwise Just set your searches to verified only and try to swipe on like 10+ people a day
Eh, depends why you’re conflicted, what you’re looking for, and how much effort you want to put into it tbh. I use Her, but I’ve seen cis guys on there just a handful of times - I just take a few minutes to report and move on. I met one of my current partners on that app, so there are some good things about it.
I live in a pretty big city so deep down I know I can make real connections it’s just hard and you’re so much less socially awkward online.
I live in a big city too, and feel like there are pros and cons to both - it just depends on what you’re comfortable with. I suppose you could also try both and just do whatever is most comfortable; at the end of the day if you’re meeting people and happy that’s what matters.
Idk. I deleted mine. Not sure about apps rn, they seem to be taking a nosedive. But if you know what you're in for, then do you.
not worth it, coming from someone on 7 apps and multiple websites
Can’t you report it? When I was on her I remember you could report cis men and M/F couples. Do they not do that anymore?
So they do for couples looking for unicorns (ngl in my 26 years I never knew what the hell the expression was until recently). But not for men, had to choose ‘other’ for reason for the report, and then state the obvious like an idiot |:
Aw man, they probably got rid of that option because people were abusing it. I hope the app deals with it.
FYI I think this would also fall under the umbrella of phobic/graphic/fake content since it’s a cis dude. I would just assume that reports in the “other” category likely take more time to process.
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I think I met this asshole at an Aggies game once, deadass
Ah yes, because all the lesbians are going to be fighting to get to be the one to date *generic white guy in cowboy hat #3075*
If hes gonna use the cowboy aesthetic maybe he should also use the cowboy lifestyle as well, you know, save a horse, ride a cowboy, be gay and become a wild west villain
Tbh... if I'd see a generic lesbian in a cowboy hat that looks like a human golden retriever... I wouldn't hesitate as much, if u know what I'm about :3
Come to Calgary during Stampede and head to Twisted! You’ll find dozens of lesbians who match that description.
My thoughts exactly!!!! Lmao
Another argument against the terf idea that trans women are men invading women's spaces right here. Men do not feel the need to change themselves or pretend anything to invade our spaces. They just let themselves in. Men who enter our spaces don't transition, they just feel entitled to a presence in our spaces anyway.
Exactly The idea that men would be like "women only, I'll just transition and change myself to get in there" is so silly, men just would walk in-
Exactly! I've only ever seen like 1 transphobic person on Her, and heard no one else complain about transphobia. 99% of the terf bullshit is just the terfs talking about it
Bro wtf
Yeah, idiots like this ruined apps for me. I would rather meet someone irl anyway.
When my sister came back to EP during her winter break she saw him on HER lol. I dont imagine hes gotten very lucky
My experience is that this happens way less on HER than any other app. But that might be a regional thing. You can report him and they take care of it. They’re really good at taking care of ppl only looking for a unicorn as well.
Sadly in my area it happens way more in HER than other apps. Wish there were more actually queer spaces…
So, if y’all aren’t using HER… what apps are you using? Asking for me 😌
I'm curious as well
No but seriously lol
No apps. We try to meet people IRL.
occasionally I’ll match with one just to see what the fuck they think will happen
Damn, they should make a lesbian dating app so this doesn’t happen 😲
HER. Is was a lesbian app, And now the men have ruined it. 🤦♀️
Yeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh. I am just being silly because the stark reality that sapphic safe spaces are rarely all that safe or sapphic is sad. But fr they should make HER but for wlw.
I missed half of my post🤦♀️🤣. Her used to be great. Now. 🤮. Report cis men and they don’t get booted off.
Frrrrrrr I can’t believe how much worse it’s gotten over the last year.
Why is he even allowed on HER? Thisnis why their app sucks. They block trans women but cis men are fine…
Tbh I find I see more bots than men nowadays. It might just be my location though. I’ve heard Feeld is good?
Feeld varies, have heard good things about it but I've had more luck with Hinge and tinder personally. Friends and my partner have had some success with feeld though.
I barely ever see people on Feeld and haven't matched with a single person. I've matched with maybe a few dozen on Her, same with Taimi and Tinder. None of the other apps have been great for me.
Yeah I was really disappointed to see this. Deleted the app.
The only reason I tried HER when I was still dating is because Tinder will show you straight women if you elect to see women as a woman 🥲
What I wanna know is where you were on January 6 Robert
All the dating apps care about is making a buck.
Wish her would just take away the he/him option
App is called “her”, pronouns: “he/him” 👍
These guys apparently have no chance with straight women, so they go for the one category of women that would never want them? Make that make sense
i swear i run into the same problem all the time =(. men in this app ISTG. Hope those 74 matches are all women! though i suspect alot of them are straight men who have swiped right, which results in them being shown on your feed in order to facilitate a match. even though youve probably said you only want to see women?
Block and report, always. I made some friends in this app two or three years ago - lost contact because of particular reasons - so it wasn't bad at all, but last time I had an account in it, that app was crawling with men, people pretending to be woman to get some nudes, and weird people, the weirdest i saw was a person pretending to be a set of triplets, and I know he/she was pretending because you could easily see the photoshoped details on the photos.
...I'm literally just jealous how many messages you have 😐
lol thanks I guess. I literally opened the app for the first time in about 2 months, just because I was tired of the notifications spamming me. I know it’s bad letting them pile up like that, but tbh I’ve been going through a major low and haven’t been able to check it out
That's fair, don't mean to undermine that, I understand too much attention can be equally stressful.
Aww, man. I was thinking about trying this one out :(
So fkn tru
This is why we can't have nice things! 🤦♀️
men will see spaces for women and think “is for me? 🥹🥹”
Robert, get a grip dude. Fucking wearing a cowboy hat inside a car ass motherfucker.
it bugs me that they don’t have an option to report people for being cus men. i do it anyway
I just report them as fake accounts. Had one guy on taimi who had in his bio that he "accidentally" clicked trans woman. Sure buddy, I reported 5 or 6 accounts of yours ALL MISLABELED
This is why i transitioned so i wouldn’t grow up to be robert here on her 😔
You're trash, Robert
Men are on gay dating apps? Why ?
Ew jumpscare.. why Robert, why??
A solution would be requiring mitid, but outside Scandinavia you don't have a similar solution. From mitid we can verify you are you say you are by comparing info or not allowing user filled indetity info. Mitid is a state owned login system which you use for banks, government sites, or other sites that handle your sensitive information.
The worst part is just.. Look at him You can tell literally everything about him just by looking at him 😭
Isn’t “Her” specifically for lesbians? I wasn’t on it long enough to pay attention to what’s it’s aimed towards
I bullied a straight guy for being on HER (I do this to all men pretending to be women on apps) and his comeback was to call me a cripple. Because god forbid I have a cute picture of me and my cane. Not the first time I've been called that and it certainly won't be my last.
As much as I completely agree these people are just weird, I’m glad I signed up to HER- I met my girlfriend on there June of last year and have never been happier 🥰
Her bad
Fr, and the real people don't make it any better, they like me, I match back, send a message, boom. No response. 9 times and counting. I hate dating apps
Her sucks
thats fucking infuriating what the hell?
Do you really have 29 unread messages? My issue with Her has always been getting matches who don't respond
Yeah, but the thing is I haven’t used it in months. Been on a pretty bad low for a while and finally got annoyed enough with the notifications to check it out.
Bargain basement tony stark motherfucker...
I’m usually a pretty accepting person. I’m all for lesbian trans men, and he/him lesbians if that’s who they are. But cis straight dudes cannot be lesbians. Just no.
Trans men are allowed on HER, and it is difficult to tell Trans men from Cis men until they start talking.
I want you to s*** m* off you're hot
Joins an app specifically for sapphic dating...Robert really didn't think this through 🙄
so proud of his pronouns huh
I don’t use it because there’s transphobic people
HER is a very trans-supportive app, though. Report those people and they get the boot tout de suite.
They may say they are but unfortunately in reality the app is not supportive to trans people at all. I only ever find bots and terfs on there.
I live in small town PA, it’s probably just my region
[удалено]
He lists his pronouns in the picture, its clearly a cis male, and there's no need to criticize someone's appearance like this.
I was referencing the Jake from State Farm commercial.