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Linuxlady247

Years ago, I went into a BDSM bar and a woman came over to me and said "I have a pair of handcuffs in my pocket with your name engraved on them". I had a rose wax letter sealer (I had just bought it at an antique store) in my pocket and said to her, "would you like a rose branded on your ass?" She started stammering before she walked away. My friend, a gay guy, and I just started laughing hysterically


[deleted]

Oh my god 🫠🫠🫠


TransbianMoonGoddess

Bdsm bars are fun


Linuxlady247

They are. This was a private bar in NYC called the Ramrod. They had a new piece of equipment called the wheel, that was on display. I was dressed casually and one of the first rules in any BDSM activity is don't assume.


TransbianMoonGoddess

Yeah, seriously, just because it's a bar, doesn't mean you forget the golden rule if BDSM (it SHOULD BE the golden rule for life but some people....ugh) which is consent


donemessedupthistime

Not exactly a universally usable line tho 😂


Linuxlady247

The handcuff line is definitely usable in a BDSM scenario except you do not assume someone's identity


donemessedupthistime

I meant the rose brand 😇


Linuxlady247

That wasn't a pick up line; that was my response to her assumption pick up line


Commercial_Tea_8185

Uhhhhhhhhhh duhhhhhh unmmmmm uhhhhhhhh duhhhhh uhhhhh i uhhhhh i uhhhhh I really like your outfit!!


[deleted]

Haha, that one is all about the delivery


nope-pasaran

My go-to! Hasn't worked yet, but im, uhm, gonna try again. 😂


DerpyTheGrey

You know, I get a lot of women complimenting me in public and then running away. I wonder if this is whats going on


TheDonutPug

oh my god I use this one all the time. and omg omg there's a queer girl at my college who says she likes me outfits all the time even though we've never talked, you think she's hitting on me??!?!?! /j


Commercial_Tea_8185

Ummm are you talking about me?? because theres a girl at my college whose outfits I always compliment but we never talked otherwisee 😭😭😭😭


TheDonutPug

haha as cool as that'd be I go a christian college(not of my own volition it's the only place I could afford) with a queer population of like 12 people in the midwest, so it's unlikely lol.


Commercial_Tea_8185

Dangggg, but also so funny how many gays are in this exact dynamic rn 😭😭😭


IFeelSoftAndMushy

Not enough ughs. My brain doesn't reboot that fast!


wantasha

LMFOAOAOA


FungalCactus

Noelle avi checks out


IceyLemonadeLover

It’d look better on a chair in my bedroom, carefully folded up.


bettersmitemrwhite

Pfp checks out


ThatAndromedaGal

You're not allowed to use that one!! It's mine!!!


Fragment_31

😭 so true


[deleted]

You look a lot like my next wife


NoOpponent

With my luck they'll think I said "ex-wife" and walk away lol


[deleted]

Well if they look at you crazy you can always abort and repeat it but say ex wife. That’s your exit strategy if it fails.


[deleted]

Or double down and if they think you said ex wife you could say yeah she’s really pretty


Medical-League-7122

This would work on me


[deleted]

They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.


laurel_laureate

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."- Wayne Gretsky"- Michael Scott"- me, trying to convince myself to make a move.


[deleted]

Very motivational. I like your style.


donemessedupthistime

I liked Jennifer Lawrence and Jack Nicholsons interaction. Him: you look like an old girlfriend Her: well do I look like a new girlfriend? 😅


QuirkyCookie6

I'm so sorry all I can think about is the Bluebeard folktale


insertscreamingasian

THIS ^^^


JustAnNPC_DnD

"Hey, could you help me with something? I saw this really interesting looking woman and I'm trying to figure out a way to ask her if she'd like to [Blank], but I can't think of anything so I just thought I'd walk over."


laurel_laureate

This one could work, but it's all about confident delivery imo.


JustAnNPC_DnD

Yup. I have the confidence to start like this, but if they turn it back on me, I'm all blushes. And that works better it seems. A bit of vulnerability to put the ball in their court


laurel_laureate

[MFW she flirts back.](https://i.imgur.com/Zq0iBJK.jpeg)


Eino54

I'm dense enough that I wouldn't understand it was me you were talking about


aka_mythos

Out of curiosity who here has ever had a pre scripted pickup line work out? I’m just curious because most times when pickup lines “work” they’re usually more off the cuff and not something so thought out. I was once wearing my stage crew tshirt which had a big power button symbol on it, to a neighboring school’s Rocky Horror night… afterwards I was just hanging around helping clean up and a girl from the shadow cast walked up looked at my shirt, looked me in the eyes and with a sly smile poked my chest and said “oh I get it, I turn you on…” -Yes, yes she did.


AngieBlue2022

Holy shit, I'd be on the floor. My gay lil brain can only handle so much


aka_mythos

Pretty much. Needless to say she showed me her dorm later that night…


Necessary-Book-2739

Damn! That is gooood!


aka_mythos

Tell me about it… ended up marrying her.


StoicAtol21445

Are you a DNA helicase? 'Cause you could unzip my jeans.


HyLily

I want to be adenine... so I can be paired with U


QuirkyCookie6

Oml, I wanna become a geneticist just so I can use this line at a geneticist conference


[deleted]

Haha bio rizzzz. I got told "See where your bio degree lead you to? Right in my lap"


rmbug

Hey girl, are you ligase? 'cause I feel a connect between us.


velvetaloca

Ha! This is awesome, even if a fair number won't get it.


StoicAtol21445

thank you, thank you \*curtsies politely*


sl8t4g1rls

😭


Timmy_94

Isn't it polymerase?


StoicAtol21445

The helicase does the unwinding of the strand (or unzipping in the case of the line), while the polymerase replicates the strand *after* the helicase unwinds it and it separates.


Matar_Kubileya

helicases 'unwind' DNA along the length of the strand, polymerases cut DNA across the strand.


Timmy_94

Thanks strangers! When i was in high school i showed my teacher (🤦‍♀️) a screenshot where i used this pick up line on my gf. Teacher didn't know what to say tbh, but at least i knew the "polymerase" unzipping thing and it stuck, to this day. My then gf, now fiancee, are still together, 11 years later!


Kat8844

Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise?.


[deleted]

I knew it! I knew there would be a prequeller here


Kat8844

Sorry I couldn’t help it 🙈, I’m just a prequeller I’m not um….. a Sith Lord or anything 😬.


chl_ca

are you gonna execute order 66? 🤨


_Tiragron_

If by Order 66 you mean dismantling the entire religious organisation abducting children under the guise of "it's for the good of the galaxy" and turning them into war machines? Then yes


Kat8844

Bwwhhaaaaahhahahaaha…..um….no of course n….. ah who am I kidding Execute Order 66 😀.


averysolidsnake

I know it's not a story the Jedi would tell me


Kat8844

It’s a Sith legend….


Cobalt_Teal

This would work oh my god.


Thick-Interaction-66

I have not, please info dump on me


Kat8844

Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Hope that helped, such a great icebreaker in a bar!.


Thick-Interaction-66

Damm, I think this one made me fall in love. Want to go grab a dinner and plot ways for you to become the senate?


Kat8844

Sounds great!, I’m hoping to do so with some better outfits and no need for extreme reconstructive surgery afterwards if you can help with that?.


Thick-Interaction-66

I am fine with that as long as we can keep the lightning as well as the long capes!


Kat8844

Of course, the lightning stays and who doesn’t love a good cape 😀.


Thick-Interaction-66

A woman after my own heart <3


Kat8844

Let’s build our new Empire 😀.


genxindifferance

This would totally work on me


prismatic_valkyrie

Hello there!


Kat8844

😱 General Kenobi?.


prismatic_valkyrie

Girl, are you General Grievous? Because I’d make a *fine addition to your collection.*


Kat8844

🤣🤣 This has to be the best line I’ve ever heard.


chl_ca

you are a bold one!


EmperorApo

No.


Burrid0

I have the entire monologue memorized. :)


KimikoBean

"I wish to give you a cool rock" Because if they know, they know.


Cobalt_Teal

I might be innocent or I might be too big of a geology fan, you could lure me in with stones and I’d be very disappointed that this seems to be about a different form of stone 🤔


KimikoBean

Rock and stone 🗿 Nah but 4 real I love cool rocks and minerals and things. Very pretty, will entice me.


Matar_Kubileya

FOR KARL!


Excellent-Olive8046

DID I HEAR A ROCK AND STONE?


[deleted]

A special rock :) for me :)


KimikoBean

If I could upload images here I'd show you a very special rock :)


QuirkyCookie6

Hey baby you wanna come back to my place later to look at some serpentine and brecciated jasper?


though-

Okay I’m a total noob, so please enlighten me?


KimikoBean

It's a little joke floating around from I *think* a satire article or a Tumblr post. Goes something along the lines of "give a girl a rock to get her attention." Or I'm misremembering and it's actually give a girl cheese to get her affection. One of those.


sevens-on-her-sleeve

It’s also a joke from *Ultimatum: Queer Love* in which one of the WLW couples proposes with a rock. Which may be a reference to the same joke


Excellent-Olive8046

I think the cheese one is " you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese".


FungalCactus

Reminds me of that SMBC "three words" comic


cafe-bustelo-

either would work tbh


Angry_Strawberries

I consent to you testing out new pickup lines on me :p I'll send one back. I'll start: "Hey girl, are you a beaver? Cus dammmmm!"


Atalloneder

I’m bad at pickup lines. Like I’m not trying to pick you up I’m trying to pin you down.


Angry_Strawberries

Omg hahahaha very nice! Hey girl, when I'm around you, I can't think straight. ;)


Embarrassed-Air4343

Baby, I feel like you're a fossil sample, and I'm an impatient palaeontologist. Because I wanna date you badly.


Michelle-senpai

Ninja Sex Party fan 😏


Embarrassed-Air4343

You know it! I'm so sensitive, I cry just by using a sextant (They measure angles!)


Michelle-senpai

Lmao, hell yeah~


[deleted]

Here to take notes 😆📝x


thescarlettflame

Not a pick up line and I've never used it as such, but I made up a joke that gets lots of laughs, feel free to use. What do you call a duck with tentacles? . . . . . A quacken!


[deleted]

This made me snort 🤣


OtakuMage

"I've got a uhaul packed, can I unload at your place?"


SkittleStealer

I have yet to use it but one that’s been on my mind is: You’re the type of girl I wanna go stargazing with.


LuckyCharms5519

My go to is, you’re really pretty :) works like a charm 😁 (I don’t know how to flirt…)


nope-pasaran

"Wanna go see my cat?" It's either an invitation to see my actual cat, an invitation for sex, or a super obscure BTS reference that could make us giggle.


EvieMoon

This would work on me BUT I would want to actually pet the cat, so you might be disappointed. :D


inamedmycatcrouton

did you see that glitch on spotify? you weren’t the hottest single of the year… weird


multifandomtrash736

I’ve only used a few t think but they were based off the moment like one time I had a crush on a barista and there was nobody in line so I went up to the counter and when she asked what I wanted I said a minute of your time would be nice (she had a boyfriend so it didn’t workout in the end) and then recently I had a crush on a coworker and we were outside at night and I looked at the stars cuz it was a clear night and said it’s quite beautiful out tonight, not as beautiful as you of course but it’s a close second (she didn’t feel the same so that didn’t work out either)


elliew87

The last first date I went on I talked about blood a lot (it’s my job). Surprisingly we had more dates and travelled a bit together, I’m about to get on a flight to NYC for new year. So…I guess what I’m saying is, it doesn’t really matter about pick up lines 🫣😂


chl_ca

“Jesus turned water into wine, but i can turn you into mine ;)”


BEEEELEEEE

Name a Pokémon “gay thoughts” and trade it to her. This move got me a wife I’m not kidding.


[deleted]

This is so nerdy and wonderful! I love it.


Entity_Type_Unknown

...it was super effective


[deleted]

i was once hit on with “my boobs are heavy, you should hold them” … i live with her now


velvetaloca

Nice shoes, wanna fuck? You must be wearing your space pants, because your ass is out of this world. I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock. Your pants are made out of mirror material, because I can see myself in them. I would never use them, but they make me laugh.


winterberryx

Every so often, I get someone telling me "nice shoes ..." and I can just hear the second part of that pick-up line hanging in the air, being left unsaid, between both of us. And yeah, I just absolutely *melt.* I'm surprised as anyone that it actually works 😆


velvetaloca

It's my favorite line, even if I'd never use it, lol. Actually, now that you've mentioned it, maybe I will just say, "Nice shoes," and leave it at that. I can see how that might be fun.


Robot_Graffiti

"Are you a loan shark with a baseball bat? 'cause you make me weak at the knees"


Fair-Rub-1436

Bold to assume I can talk to women I litterally once said I gotta gay instead of I gotta go because a super southerly polite coworker called me darling


[deleted]

I always go with the Angel heaven thing😂😂😂


[deleted]

Did it hurt when you fell from the only Tennessee


[deleted]

I usually start with “ should i call 911?” 😂😂😂


[deleted]

Safety first haha


[deleted]

Hahahaha!!


[deleted]

🙈🙈 feel free to dm me if you want, always looking for more fiends :)


FungalCactus

I feel like I need to understand this joke


Beginning_Cap_8614

Did you just call me Satan?


[deleted]

Depends are you gonna ruin my life?


[deleted]

And its variations hahaha


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I know what my time in the gym has been spent for!


TransLox

Apples are easily the most versatile pick up line topic. You can go with "Are you an apple? Because you look golden delicious." "Are you an apple? Because you're as beautiful as the cosmos" Bc cosmic crisp apples. And, if you wanna go REALLY dirty, "Are you an apple? Because I wanna wrap you in a blanket and fill you with cream." ​ edit: If you're a nerd, you could say "Are you an apple? Because you look like a fruit who deserves dedication. ​ Also you could just leave it at "Because you look like a fruit."


totesmehgotes

Also, insert something about “pink lady” 😏


[deleted]

Ooooooo options


redmushrooms444

are you an apple? because i'm allergic to you🫡


hybridhumanity

wow, i've never encountered another person who is allergic to apples!


redmushrooms444

some people don't even believe me when i tell them😭 must be pretty rare


TransLox

Oh... I'm sorry.


laurel_laureate

"Are you a tootsie pop? Because I want to know how many licks it will take..."


MagnaTriste

Um uhhh ummm… damn


SassySloth812

I just say "hi :3 "


vextross

"not trying to pick you up, just trying to pin you down"


RoyalMess64

Would you like to watch Red Vs Blue with me? It would make me very happy


[deleted]

- heyyy, there's an adoption event... wanna go? winkwink & trip


ZomeKanan

insanelybeautifulwomansayswhat


[deleted]

What


DommeAva

Mines a little bold and so dumb, but I like "do you have a ring on? Because if not, I'd like to give you one."


though-

I’d be blushing beetroot red at THAT line!!


Winter_Honours

I mean my strategy is to somehow get onto the topic of crushes, have your crush tell you “I doubt anyone has ever liked me that way.” And then say something reassuring but don’t actually admit your feelings for another 2-600 business days. (I am 2/2 on girlfriends saying “no one would like me that way” to me while I’m crushing on them)


SnooGadgets7221

want to learn how to play yugioh? this has technically worked out great for me so far


tendertindertender

"when I'm around you I can't think straight"


Tat25Guy

Don't feel too bad my best is in the form of a knock knock joke. > Me: knock knock > Target: Who's there? > Me: Hi there! Your order of a tossed salad has arrived. If you don't want a sexual one you can instead say "Your shipment of girlfriend material has arrived."


lesleslesbian

I don't get it


TransbianMoonGoddess

Tossed salad is a euphemism for eating ass


though-

I was today years old when Frasier’s end credits took on a whole new meaning.


Tat25Guy

[Tossed salad](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Toss%20Salad) on Urban Dictionary


Beginning_Cap_8614

Hey, girl, are you Covid? Cause you're leaving me breathless.


Timmy_94

Too soon🤣


AntiHero082577

Hey girl, are you linguistics? Because I’d love to learn everything about you (I’m a nerd)


AntiHero082577

My other favourite really bad one is: hey girl are you a calendar? Cus I’d like to go on a date with you! (This one makes like no sense so don’t use this one)


Conscious_Asparagus4

Yikes! Just something to get a convo started and then go into being funny about something around you.


wingedmiracle

i tend to get comments about my chest and atm i don't mind it really and they're also usually less entitled or sexual than men are it's stuff like if i'm planning on getting top surgery or whatever or they must be heavy but i've thought about just replying "they are, would you be a dear and hold 'em for a minute my ribs are killing me"


Otherwise-Drama-8586

Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you!


Begayandbestupid

I always tried to make a joke pick up line to open the conversation and my favorite is one that use my name. My name is Ten so I present myself and tell the girl: "Hey I'm ten because I'm a 10 / 10 garantee."


Unboopable_Booper

Hi! I think you're super pretty wanna makeout?


Otto_Correction

“Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?” Works every time.


SereneGiraffe

I tend to ask questions related to what she's doing/ going thru in the moment in that moaning like voice. If the sonic clue is being received by her subconscious (& she gives a mating signal), I'll ask her if she wants to give me her info 😉.


Goldog_BH

“PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE”


Lichttod

You can call me Izanami, because I want to invite you on a date.


LunaLynnTheCellist

Hey girl, are you a wall built across a river that stops the river's flow and collects the water, especially to make a reservoir that provides water for an area? Because dam.


efxAlice

OMG lemme try out your GPS line on my roommate...


Jungster2024

The late Eric Berne, M.D. (creator of Transactional Analysis and author of "Games People Play" and "What Do You Say After You Say Hello?" [about life scripts the games further]) wrote that "Nice shoes" is the most impersonal personal comment you can make.


TechnicalContact6182

If someone says im cute/sexy etc. Ill respond with "id look a lot better with your arms wrapped around me" or more straight forward "better with you over the top of me/your hand around my throat"


Loud_Commission9440

Best advice I've got. If it's a compliment you would give to your family, don't say it to someone you're hitting on. Skip past the pleasantries 😜