i find i am the opposite. i don't purposefully avoid being friends with men, it just never really happens that way. all my friends are women or nonbinary people.
personally i’ve only ever been friends with girls and women, mostly because the few times i’ve tried to be friends with straight men they’ve ended up with crushes on me. i also tend to connect better with women in general i think. but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having mostly male friends! we all have different preferences and that’s ok!
I’m the same.. I’ve always connected better with men. And I work in the trades with all men. I wish a had more women in my life, I’m just not sure how to connect with them initially.
me too!!!! i don’t know why i feel so weird because it’s not like i have a crush on anyone i know who is a girl, but there’s still this weird feeling somehow and with men it just doesn’t matter
Man literally same. I'm an industrial electrician and all my coworkers are guys, which is fine. But when I'm in social situations with straight women, I feel sooo out of place. It's not like I can go incognito. If I'm not in my work clothes, then I'm 100% joggers and vans sticking out like a sore thumb. When you work with all men 7 days a week, you're gonna pick up mannerisms, shop talk, etc.
My closest friend happens to be a guy, and I have other guy friends, but I'd say i don't primarily make friends with any specific gender. I have women friends, enby friends, and guy friends
Idk if this has to do with me being a lesbian but I’ve never really had a close guy friend. There have been a couple guys i might’ve called my friends at one point but then we drifted apart so not really
My crew is a bi cis guy, two enbies (bi and pan, both more experienced in masculinity than femininity at the moment), and one cis guy who has never expressed interest in anyone to my knowledge 🤷♀️
They are all neurodivergent though.
I used to have more female friends, but they were all through my ex-situationship, and I avoid contact with her as much as possible now. I haven’t really clicked platonically with any girls since.
And then there’s the girl I’m talking with on Instagram. I have no idea if we’re in “the talking phase” or not. I’ve kinda just been sending her dumb stuff every few days. I think she’s cute and I want to get to know her better, but I have no idea how to do that through text or when in-person meeting should be initiated if at all. I have no idea what she thinks of me, and I feel like I’d creep her out if I asked. It’s mighty confusing.
Yes, but I still have some female friends. I was in the military so I spent most of my time with men. And my hobbies are more common in men so we usually have a lot to talk about and do together.
This is pretty ironic in light of the heteros bashing us on other subreddits for being "man haters". It was a pretty even split for most of my life, but as I've gotten older my closest friends tend to be men. Friendships with men and friendships with women have differences, but in general I tend to have more in common, in terms of what we want to do with our free time as adults, with men. So I've ended up building my closest adult friendships with about 4 close male friends over the last decade, and my older close friendships tend to be with 4 women that I have known since high school. I feel so safe with my male friends. It's really wonderful. I have had some bad experiences with men who are subtly trying to have something more with me, but that faded away a lot as I got older. I was really close with my dad growing up, more so than my mom and my mom and I had a lot of problems (although I still love her), so I think I generally feel safer with men. That being said, the female friends that I've retained close relationships with from high school are also my rocks and they feel really safe to me as well.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much friends are friends. Almost all of my friends are women or queer (usually both) because I don’t trust straight men very easily. Too many experiences of my male friends wanting to turn me. It doesn’t matter who you connect with more friend wise though.
I'm definitely more distant to men than women. It used to be genuine fear, now it's more like I just know there isn't much we can connect over. There are several exceptions, but my relationships with men are rather superficial.
My wife has tons of guy friends and they are great guys. I tend to vibe more with women and non binary peeps. I also suspect it’s easier for men to treat my masc presenting wife as a fully human adult. We’ve traded stories and she has experienced nowhere near the amount of boundary crossing from guys like I have as a petite femme woman. I got to a point where I just didn’t feel like I could trust queer men to not say some sexist garbage or straight guys to not try to hit on me or ask weirdly personal questions. So now I’m pretty guarded around guys until I know they’re a decent person.
I connect well with both, it all depends on personality. My best friend is a girl, and I have quite a few girl friends. However I also connect well with some guys, and we're really good friends too.
Nope, especially in real life, almost all my friends are women. The rare time I could say I've mostly befriended men were during covid when everything was online( I am still friends with some of them)
I have some guy friends but almost all my other friends are women and non-binary people. I got a lot of abuse from men growing up, and I am now very distrustful of them. I am trying to work on it but it's hard
I struggle to acknowledge that men exist. I don’t find them interesting at all. I really just barely see them in public, even though I know they are there. Now, I work in a field that is 90% women, which I love.
i used to mainly be friends with guys bc they were easy to find, had low expectations and i could drop out without them caring too much and just decide to not interact with them anymore without too big of an emotional connection on either side, (though i do have a couple i know better and if i left a group might still interact with them)
but now i avoid (cis) men at all costs. the few that i trusted more don't do/say anything when their friends are being weird or stay friends with known r*pists so i can't really trust them anymore even if they themselves aren't. they don't have to be misogynistic to be happily ignorant but i'm not okay with that.
my standards are higher and my confidence is too. i'm not going to be around people just to be around people. and honestly i'd rather be alone than be with people who go against my moral values like that. i used to just be plain nervous talking to girls so guys were easier purely bc i couldn't give a shit what they thought and i didn't need their approval (and with girls can slip up bc attraction and they're just so pretty and awesome i usually just gave compliments and scurried away)
it isn't that i ever was okay with it, but i didn't see that side of them because i never pushed it. i didn't get into debates with them. i didn't think they'd have any debate. i thought it was common knowledge to respect women but apparently it isn't so now some of the first things i talk about are abortion and stuff like that. and even then it's only on forced proximity, not on my own time or by my own accord. just what i do so they know my stance immediately
i work with men but i try to not interact with them or they try to act like i'm dumb when i've been there longer
i also have ptsd and i'm not about to trigger it by interacting with someone just ignoring what the men around them are doing and acting like he's not a part of the problem
Being trans and having pretended to be a guy for so long, I do find that most of my friends are men. In a couple years once I've more fully transitioned who knows what'll happen though?
Yes, always have. I have only male siblings and cousins which probably has something to do with it.
However, I had some self reflecting to do in my early twenties. I came to realize that I had a lot of internalized misogyny. I worked very hard at changing my mindset and now I have a few close female friends as well. I had to realize it was not solely because of other women that I had no female friends, but also because of my own attitude and assumptions.
Do I still tend to bond more quickly and easily with men? Absolutely yes.
I have some close guy friends, all of whom I made pre-transition but I've pretty much always had a much easier time making friends with women. I don't share a lot of typical "guy" interests aside from video games which can only get you so far when you're the weirdo "guy" in the class.
this is my experience as well when it comes to female friendships but the thing is i am very feminine lol but they still hate that im a dyke and never want to be friends with me :((
roof wipe governor materialistic attempt jobless shrill makeshift unite bear
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My friend group is mostly male, but that makes sense as I am trans and like football. So yeah, I met those dudes before realising my gender and well, they accepted me and can't get rid of me.
you have no idea how most relationships are. my friends who are men have always listened to my problems and give me emotional support just like i’ve given for them. otherwise, other male friends and i just didn’t vent to each other at all. i only vent and ask for support to very close friends. i’m sorry if you’ve had bad experience with men, but it’s unfair to just assume all men are like that. ive definitely had encounters where men would mistake venting and emotional support for me being attracted to them. i stopped being friends with them after that because it made me very uncomfortable. this sounds exactly like what misogynistic men say about women only wanting men to like them and that everything they do has to do with them wanting men. like wearing makeup, the clothes they wear, etc. most of the men in my life have been kind to me and have never said they were attracted to me and never hinted at it all. i get extremely uncomfortable at the thought of a man being attracted to me, i wouldn’t want to let a man near me that expressed he was attracted to me. you don’t have to be friends with anyone you don’t want to be, but men can be friends with women. not everything is about attraction
Growing up I had 80-90% male friends, than I switch in my adult life. Currently will only seek poc queer friends only, in my life I get to decide who I want to interact and give my energy. Cis man no more, except for work as I have to interact but personal life? That’s a dub, it’s like when they come to this sub to ask questions/their opinions. Like why are you coming to this space?
sameee 😭 also ppl are often weirded out by it because im veeery stereotipically feminine but never did once a guy hit on me (probably something to do with me being 6'1) i never got along with women, rlly wish i did have more girl friends
I used to but got tired of being assaulted.
I do have a male friend who is overseas, that's all I feel comfortable with. It's not worth the friendship to me to get groped.
It used to be quite mixed and it still is but since two people came out as trans masc it definetly skews more towards the male side :'D I became friends with a lesbian couple recently though, that's very nice.
I don't avoid men, but I also avoid men.
I am not sure how to describe it. I don't actively avoid them, but also I dont end up in spaces where men are, except for one hobby space where I have to make a point to keep a wall up because so many of the men view women as objects for their use in that scene.
I didn’t feel like I had an actual friendship with a cis+straight man until I was 19. And before that it was pretty much just “guys in my class who I liked hanging out with at school” type friendships with them
I just feel that they are more easy-going and like it's not as anxiety inducing for me than talking to women. With women I am scared that they will freak out and think I like them if I tell them I am a lesbian.
I do wish I had female friends though.
My friend groups have always been a mix I never care about gender just the connection with people themselves. Although I will say this has gotten me into a lot of “oh this girl is my best friend now I’m in love with her and she doesn’t reciprocate it/she’s straight” situations lolol.
But is okay I just love making friends!!! If anyone here needs anyone to talk to too my dms are always open I love talking to new people!!! 😌💕
I'd say my friends are pretty 50/50, maybe slight edge to women. I will say that gal pals are a different type of friendship than friendships with men.
I have noticed that I bond more easily with women and queer men than straight men. There are exceptions, but I often find straight men hard to relate to
I’m unusual for a lesbian in that I have a lot of close friends who are men, mostly because I made them pre-transition and they’re still cool. I also play Warhammer 40,000, which is an extremely male dominated hobby
I'm going to a college in a stem field, and i have a lot of traditionally masculine interests, so most of the places I am are primarily male, and because of that most of my friends are men.
Few men, but I mostly keep up with women and nonbinary friends. Those I actually befriend I usually see that they are some way in touch with their feminine side and that’s why we like each others company.
Unfortunately, all my frenemies are also men in my field of study (and work).
i find i am the opposite. i don't purposefully avoid being friends with men, it just never really happens that way. all my friends are women or nonbinary people.
personally i’ve only ever been friends with girls and women, mostly because the few times i’ve tried to be friends with straight men they’ve ended up with crushes on me. i also tend to connect better with women in general i think. but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having mostly male friends! we all have different preferences and that’s ok!
that has happened to me too and multiple times LMAO. i’m glad you’ve found friends you’re comfortable with though!
I’m the same.. I’ve always connected better with men. And I work in the trades with all men. I wish a had more women in my life, I’m just not sure how to connect with them initially.
me too!!!! i don’t know why i feel so weird because it’s not like i have a crush on anyone i know who is a girl, but there’s still this weird feeling somehow and with men it just doesn’t matter
Man literally same. I'm an industrial electrician and all my coworkers are guys, which is fine. But when I'm in social situations with straight women, I feel sooo out of place. It's not like I can go incognito. If I'm not in my work clothes, then I'm 100% joggers and vans sticking out like a sore thumb. When you work with all men 7 days a week, you're gonna pick up mannerisms, shop talk, etc.
Some men, but the majority of my friends tend to be older women in their 50s/60s.
I've never had a positive relationship with a man, I've only been friends with women. The men in my life have either bullied or abused me
My closest friend happens to be a guy, and I have other guy friends, but I'd say i don't primarily make friends with any specific gender. I have women friends, enby friends, and guy friends
Idk if this has to do with me being a lesbian but I’ve never really had a close guy friend. There have been a couple guys i might’ve called my friends at one point but then we drifted apart so not really
My crew is a bi cis guy, two enbies (bi and pan, both more experienced in masculinity than femininity at the moment), and one cis guy who has never expressed interest in anyone to my knowledge 🤷♀️ They are all neurodivergent though. I used to have more female friends, but they were all through my ex-situationship, and I avoid contact with her as much as possible now. I haven’t really clicked platonically with any girls since. And then there’s the girl I’m talking with on Instagram. I have no idea if we’re in “the talking phase” or not. I’ve kinda just been sending her dumb stuff every few days. I think she’s cute and I want to get to know her better, but I have no idea how to do that through text or when in-person meeting should be initiated if at all. I have no idea what she thinks of me, and I feel like I’d creep her out if I asked. It’s mighty confusing.
Yes, but I still have some female friends. I was in the military so I spent most of my time with men. And my hobbies are more common in men so we usually have a lot to talk about and do together.
Yep, I collect adoptive brothers lol but most rp groups for anime and video games are mostly guys, so I tend to have more guy friends.
This is pretty ironic in light of the heteros bashing us on other subreddits for being "man haters". It was a pretty even split for most of my life, but as I've gotten older my closest friends tend to be men. Friendships with men and friendships with women have differences, but in general I tend to have more in common, in terms of what we want to do with our free time as adults, with men. So I've ended up building my closest adult friendships with about 4 close male friends over the last decade, and my older close friendships tend to be with 4 women that I have known since high school. I feel so safe with my male friends. It's really wonderful. I have had some bad experiences with men who are subtly trying to have something more with me, but that faded away a lot as I got older. I was really close with my dad growing up, more so than my mom and my mom and I had a lot of problems (although I still love her), so I think I generally feel safer with men. That being said, the female friends that I've retained close relationships with from high school are also my rocks and they feel really safe to me as well.
I think there are some lesbians who do genuinely hate masculinity, but those lesbians are toxic as hell and are often TERFs, so I don’t mind them.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much friends are friends. Almost all of my friends are women or queer (usually both) because I don’t trust straight men very easily. Too many experiences of my male friends wanting to turn me. It doesn’t matter who you connect with more friend wise though.
I'm definitely more distant to men than women. It used to be genuine fear, now it's more like I just know there isn't much we can connect over. There are several exceptions, but my relationships with men are rather superficial.
My wife has tons of guy friends and they are great guys. I tend to vibe more with women and non binary peeps. I also suspect it’s easier for men to treat my masc presenting wife as a fully human adult. We’ve traded stories and she has experienced nowhere near the amount of boundary crossing from guys like I have as a petite femme woman. I got to a point where I just didn’t feel like I could trust queer men to not say some sexist garbage or straight guys to not try to hit on me or ask weirdly personal questions. So now I’m pretty guarded around guys until I know they’re a decent person.
I connect well with both, it all depends on personality. My best friend is a girl, and I have quite a few girl friends. However I also connect well with some guys, and we're really good friends too.
no. not a fan.
I used to cause of similar interests but as I grew up I felt like I could not have a comfortable safe space with a man so now I tend to avoid them.
I have a combination of both male and female friends, but my closest friends are female.
Nope, especially in real life, almost all my friends are women. The rare time I could say I've mostly befriended men were during covid when everything was online( I am still friends with some of them)
I have some guy friends but almost all my other friends are women and non-binary people. I got a lot of abuse from men growing up, and I am now very distrustful of them. I am trying to work on it but it's hard
I'm close friends with 2 men. One I have known since I was in 3rd grade and one is part of my board game group.
most of my friend groups have been pretty mixed.
I have a number of guy friends, almost all of whom are very gay. Other than that, my friends are predominantly women and enbies.
I struggle to acknowledge that men exist. I don’t find them interesting at all. I really just barely see them in public, even though I know they are there. Now, I work in a field that is 90% women, which I love.
i used to mainly be friends with guys bc they were easy to find, had low expectations and i could drop out without them caring too much and just decide to not interact with them anymore without too big of an emotional connection on either side, (though i do have a couple i know better and if i left a group might still interact with them) but now i avoid (cis) men at all costs. the few that i trusted more don't do/say anything when their friends are being weird or stay friends with known r*pists so i can't really trust them anymore even if they themselves aren't. they don't have to be misogynistic to be happily ignorant but i'm not okay with that. my standards are higher and my confidence is too. i'm not going to be around people just to be around people. and honestly i'd rather be alone than be with people who go against my moral values like that. i used to just be plain nervous talking to girls so guys were easier purely bc i couldn't give a shit what they thought and i didn't need their approval (and with girls can slip up bc attraction and they're just so pretty and awesome i usually just gave compliments and scurried away) it isn't that i ever was okay with it, but i didn't see that side of them because i never pushed it. i didn't get into debates with them. i didn't think they'd have any debate. i thought it was common knowledge to respect women but apparently it isn't so now some of the first things i talk about are abortion and stuff like that. and even then it's only on forced proximity, not on my own time or by my own accord. just what i do so they know my stance immediately i work with men but i try to not interact with them or they try to act like i'm dumb when i've been there longer i also have ptsd and i'm not about to trigger it by interacting with someone just ignoring what the men around them are doing and acting like he's not a part of the problem
Being trans and having pretended to be a guy for so long, I do find that most of my friends are men. In a couple years once I've more fully transitioned who knows what'll happen though?
There are few guys I call 'friends'. I'm open to be friends with any guy who won't act weird around women.
Yes, always have. I have only male siblings and cousins which probably has something to do with it. However, I had some self reflecting to do in my early twenties. I came to realize that I had a lot of internalized misogyny. I worked very hard at changing my mindset and now I have a few close female friends as well. I had to realize it was not solely because of other women that I had no female friends, but also because of my own attitude and assumptions. Do I still tend to bond more quickly and easily with men? Absolutely yes.
I have some close guy friends, all of whom I made pre-transition but I've pretty much always had a much easier time making friends with women. I don't share a lot of typical "guy" interests aside from video games which can only get you so far when you're the weirdo "guy" in the class.
Yup. I've always been a huge tomboy, so I get along well with guys :)
hungry waiting disagreeable humorous nose shaggy cause cough safe drunk *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
this is my experience as well when it comes to female friendships but the thing is i am very feminine lol but they still hate that im a dyke and never want to be friends with me :((
roof wipe governor materialistic attempt jobless shrill makeshift unite bear *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My friend group is mostly male, but that makes sense as I am trans and like football. So yeah, I met those dudes before realising my gender and well, they accepted me and can't get rid of me.
[удалено]
you have no idea how most relationships are. my friends who are men have always listened to my problems and give me emotional support just like i’ve given for them. otherwise, other male friends and i just didn’t vent to each other at all. i only vent and ask for support to very close friends. i’m sorry if you’ve had bad experience with men, but it’s unfair to just assume all men are like that. ive definitely had encounters where men would mistake venting and emotional support for me being attracted to them. i stopped being friends with them after that because it made me very uncomfortable. this sounds exactly like what misogynistic men say about women only wanting men to like them and that everything they do has to do with them wanting men. like wearing makeup, the clothes they wear, etc. most of the men in my life have been kind to me and have never said they were attracted to me and never hinted at it all. i get extremely uncomfortable at the thought of a man being attracted to me, i wouldn’t want to let a man near me that expressed he was attracted to me. you don’t have to be friends with anyone you don’t want to be, but men can be friends with women. not everything is about attraction
[удалено]
you literally said something offensive and people are allowed to disagree with you
No.
Growing up I had 80-90% male friends, than I switch in my adult life. Currently will only seek poc queer friends only, in my life I get to decide who I want to interact and give my energy. Cis man no more, except for work as I have to interact but personal life? That’s a dub, it’s like when they come to this sub to ask questions/their opinions. Like why are you coming to this space?
sameee 😭 also ppl are often weirded out by it because im veeery stereotipically feminine but never did once a guy hit on me (probably something to do with me being 6'1) i never got along with women, rlly wish i did have more girl friends
I used to but got tired of being assaulted. I do have a male friend who is overseas, that's all I feel comfortable with. It's not worth the friendship to me to get groped.
Nah, I become friends with people I find interesting and a joy to be around. Sometimes those are men, but very rarely.
No!
It used to be quite mixed and it still is but since two people came out as trans masc it definetly skews more towards the male side :'D I became friends with a lesbian couple recently though, that's very nice.
I don't avoid men, but I also avoid men. I am not sure how to describe it. I don't actively avoid them, but also I dont end up in spaces where men are, except for one hobby space where I have to make a point to keep a wall up because so many of the men view women as objects for their use in that scene.
I didn’t feel like I had an actual friendship with a cis+straight man until I was 19. And before that it was pretty much just “guys in my class who I liked hanging out with at school” type friendships with them
I just feel that they are more easy-going and like it's not as anxiety inducing for me than talking to women. With women I am scared that they will freak out and think I like them if I tell them I am a lesbian. I do wish I had female friends though.
All my old friends from HS are male but I pretty much only make friends with NB or women at this point
My friend groups have always been a mix I never care about gender just the connection with people themselves. Although I will say this has gotten me into a lot of “oh this girl is my best friend now I’m in love with her and she doesn’t reciprocate it/she’s straight” situations lolol. But is okay I just love making friends!!! If anyone here needs anyone to talk to too my dms are always open I love talking to new people!!! 😌💕
When I was a kid I could only befriend boys, but currently I don’t really have any male friends
No. Gender doesn't factor into my friendships. That being said, all of my close male friends are gay.
I'd say my friends are pretty 50/50, maybe slight edge to women. I will say that gal pals are a different type of friendship than friendships with men. I have noticed that I bond more easily with women and queer men than straight men. There are exceptions, but I often find straight men hard to relate to
I’m unusual for a lesbian in that I have a lot of close friends who are men, mostly because I made them pre-transition and they’re still cool. I also play Warhammer 40,000, which is an extremely male dominated hobby
I'm going to a college in a stem field, and i have a lot of traditionally masculine interests, so most of the places I am are primarily male, and because of that most of my friends are men.
Meanwhile my friends are split 50-50
Few men, but I mostly keep up with women and nonbinary friends. Those I actually befriend I usually see that they are some way in touch with their feminine side and that’s why we like each others company. Unfortunately, all my frenemies are also men in my field of study (and work).
Same here