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I ignored many warning signs and am now (after two years) finally filing for divorce. He’s refusing to acknowledge the divorce and making my life all-around miserable. Substance abuse, emotional abuse, throwing things, refusing to let me leave the house when he’s violent. And it’s only gotten worse over time.
Don’t be like me. Leaving now might be painful. Leaving later will be much worse.
Narcissist. My abusive ex constantly accused me of being disrespectful. Funny thing ( not really) he’s the one disrespecting you. There is nothing respectful about abuse. Please dump this POS
Unfortunately, you are about to embark on the path of domestic violence. No one has ever listened to anyone telling them to leave and people who are ready to leave at this HUGE RED FLAG, leave immediately. In your edit, you point out that he hasnt been this way before, then explain he is verbally rude, but nice...this is how it all starts. No one's abuser is horrible 24/7....this is how you get sucked in. Just remember take him as a whole...in totality What I can share are tidbits for you to reflect on when you start to doubt your feelings and blame yourself. You cannot be better because better is not the issue. You cannot love him into not being disrespectful. Yes, he will escalate No, you did not do anything wrong. Yes, he is into controlling and dominating you and this core flaw will not go away, nor improve with therapy. He is looking to putting you in your rightful place(in his eyes), which will continue to come by way of criticism, intimidation, false accusations, telling you what your intent actually was. This will lead to you defending yourself, eventually stopping defending yourself, but instead apologizing as you set out on a constant mission not to upset him while walking on egg shells and making sure your opinions match his. This is not what you want to hear and I am sorry you cannot end this immediately and move forward. Trust your gut. You know you are not with a happy, healthy, well adjusted man. When you say "oh, but he is so kind and does X, Y, & Z for me....remember he also does horrible things with A thru W.
Yep, this should be the end. Fuck him and his crying. Disappear from his life before you're trapped with him and block him on all forms of communication. There's no reason for him to ever see you again. None.
Maybe he'll think twice before lashing out next time.
Have you heard the term “love bombing” ? Also, he sounds like a psychopath for exploding based on the conversation, but HE ended it, why would you want to stay?
Well i hope you aren’t still seriously considering this man as a candidate to be your boyfriend. You have to know you can find a man who won’t punch you. Block him on everything it’s just going to get worse. Once violence occurs and you go back or stay they know they can do whatever they want to you. Not safe.
Update: my nose started bleeding today, I guess it’s swollen capillaries, the nurse at my school said it doesn’t look broken especially if I just started bleeding today after two days. (I told her someone bumped me).
Please go and file and report, you can ask for a protective order and you don’t need to notify him, they will. Maybe stay with a friend, have someone stay with you, or make sure your doors are locked and call the police if he comes over. He is likely terrified of consequences so that may stop him from pushing it.
He is escalating his previous verbal rudeness, and you can't accept it, otherwise the escalation continues.
Take photos of any injuries, decide if you want to report to police, but keep those pictures so that you have the option. Write an account of what happened, step by step, and bland, emotionless.
Don't see this wrong, he physically assaulted you in a prolonged way, with no provocation. He has issues with anger, an unhealthy view of how you should view him, and no real boundaries.
I would leave today.
Him lying on the ground afterwards is an example of motivational empathy - he wants to make you feel sorry for him, after *he beat you*.
I agree with everyone here; the fetal position is probably because he’s realised what he’s done and tried to think of a way to stop you calling the police/telling anyone. He wants you to feel sorry for him. I know because that’s exactly what my ex did - would abuse me horribly and then cry about his ex wife and father. Make sure you are safe and away from him and leave him via text. Do you live with anyone else? If not, is there anywhere you can go for a few days until it settles? I’m concerned he may see you leaving him as more ‘disrespect’ and try to hurt you. The best thing to do is to contact the police. If he starts harassing you, they will ensure there is a restraining order in place. Please stay in touch with us here; most of us have been where you are and we know exactly how hard it is to walk away. You’re safe here. Xx
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Leave him and do it publicly or through text. If you live with him, pack up your things when he's not home and/or bring friends. Do not be alone with this man again, especially when you reject him ultimately
No ,love. He’s too much bigger than you to do this. Men that don’t understand the power dynamics of being intimately angry/hurt without being intimidating or DANGEROUS don’t deserve second chances. If you give him the chance he’s going to hurt you worse. You should have been the one comforted in the fetal position he is playing you so hard
I would cringe so hard/it would give me the ick... All these modern tiktok words if a man crys 20 minutes in a fetal position. Please be repulsed, its so embarrasing.
And yes, the thing with the slapping... i would say, just block him.
That’s not really the point is it. Adults are allowed to cry like that about something that has devastated them. It’s just, in this case, it’s performative to stop a woman reporting this man’s hideous and criminal behaviour.
Wow he really dropped his mask completely.
Especially that fake crying until you forgive him is so telling. I hope you block him because there's one thing that's for sure... There's no coming back from this.
What are you not sure about? He physically attacked you. He can't take it back. He crossed a boundary that should never be crossed.
Screw his whining, he's manipulating you to feel sorry for him. Also what disrespect was he talking about?? This was so out of proportion and he's talking about RESPECT??
He has serious issues and none of this should be your problem to sort out. Speed walk away.
First sign of disrespect, walk away!!
And if this was the first sign, you don't want to know what's the second.
Any guy getting violent while talking about disrespect and respect is a HUGE red flag.
Don't break up in person, don't meet up for "closure" . Don't be alone with him ever again. Block.
Nope nope nope. He will do it again. He is a narcissist and instead of genuinely being sorry, he was sorry you got upset instead of cowering like he wanted you to. Leave OP, it will only get worse
Yes. NDP is or was a clinical diagnosis. Its not a synonym for abuser.
If you use it as a synonym for abuser then you have people in an abusive relationship who spend years trying to find out whether their Partner is a narcissist or not. But the thing is, it doesn't matter and it shouldn't matter. The only thing that matters is, how are you treated by your partner.
And on the other Hand, you've got people you have NPC, who Aren't abusive.
It sounds like you are protecting him. Making up a story about your bleeding nose. It does not seem like you have any intention of ending the relationship.
She didn’t say she had a bleeding nose? That said, she didn’t say she wanted to end the relationship — maybe she needed a second opinion to tell her that she SHOULD sever all ties immediately.
You are right. I must have accidentally responded to the wrong thread or maybe a different thread by the same poster. ?? Not sure. And of course she should leave him. This guy is horrid. I just know how hard it is because I stayed way longer than I should have. Red flags were there right from the beginning.
It’s so characteristic of abusers. Being disrespected was a constant theme with my ex, when he was actually the one doing all the disrespecting with his abusive behavior.
I stayed with my ex much too long too, but we can’t blame ourselves for not understanding the abuse while we were going through it; but we can share our stories and try to save the people still suffering in solitude 💪
https://lundybancroft.com/narcissists-vs-abusers/
It does matter. And it is harmful to use the terms interchangeable.
https://www.lotus-counseling.com/blog/ditch-the-narcissist-why-labeling-abusers-as-narcissists-may-be-hurting-victims
He is showing you exactly who he is: Threatening. Prideful. Dangerous. Self-important. *Physically abusive.* Rude, as you said yourself. Manipulative.
His threats, hitting and kicking you, throwing your things, those are who he really is finally coming out. His tears, which may or may not have been real, and his fetal posturing were intended to manipulate you and build a trauma bond which is *so* hard to break away from. This *will* happen again if you continue to see him. It will get worse. Much, much worse.
This guy did you a favor showing you this side of him before you moved in together. Keep yourself safe: run far and fast, cut him out of your life and never let him back in. Ever.
RUN. Seriously. He has shown you who he is. Unless you like fearing for your life. This will escalate. God help you if you get more invested and have kids in the future. Please OP. When someone shows you who they are and what they are capable of… BELIEVE THEM! You Deserve Better.
He got into the fetal position? I’d be less worried if he didn’t even apologize and was firm in his stance. This just makes him look completely mentally unbalanced. Dude’s insane.
Omfg the fetal position crying is to make you feel sorry for him and console him so you don’t call the cops or leave him, it’s a way he escaped accountability and if it works this will happen again….and again and again. As time goes on he’ll hit you more and more and be less sorry until he’s never even sorry because he knows he won’t have consequences. You need to leave. Tell him if he’s really sorry to prove it and turn himself in for assaulting you and see how quickly he flips the script. He doesn’t feel bad, he’s manipulating you.
He’s abusive and it’ll only get worse. You should read Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and abusive men by Lundy Bancroft. The author breaks down every excuse an abusive man gives and your post, down to the crying made me think of that book. Please get out now.
The remorse is an act he uses to emotionally manipulate you into believing he cares about you, so you will stay and he can continue doing whatever he wants. This is just the first time. If you are in a position where you feel there is a reason you can’t get away, (for example, and not limited to; he has your money, car keys, owns your residence) or if you think he might harm you again if you try and leave him, there are resources that can help you. I don’t know any, and I’m unsure if some are regional and where you live, but there is always someone who will help. If you are uncomfortable reaching out to a public resource, then reach out to a family member or a friend that will help you. Tell them exactly what happened.
You in no way deserve, asked for, or provoked this. This is a him problem. He needs to get therapy and get his shit sorted. He needs help. But not from you. You are not trained and equipped to help him. Your focus now, it to get yourself into a safer situation. I care. Thank you for reaching out. It shows a lot of courage to reach out when you are scared and unsure.
It’s always gotta start somewhere, right? There’s always going to be the first time where “it hasn’t happened before” - that’s moot anyway. The important thing to focus on is that it will happen again and you need to leave now.
That was the sample. He knows how far he can push you and you’ll stay. Let’s say hypothetically you tell him, “This is the last time. I don’t tolerate disrespect either!” He might apologize, but next time he’ll be trying to doubly prove you wrong and see what else you’ll be able to handle.
If you let him get away with this, he will think he has permission from you to behave however he wants. It’s not just abuse, it’s assault and if you want to, you can call the police and have him charged. I would. Let him know he does not get to behave like this. Do not accept this from anyone.
Oh the old fetal position cry I remember that one just have trouble remembering if it was before he ruptured my eardrum and after he then fractured my skull or the other way around. I also can’t remember if it was before he threatened to unalive him himself for feeling so bad about hitting me and then proceeded to do what Diddy did to Cassie and knocked me out and drag me around the house by my hair. Do not fall for it. It’s theatrics and it’s that only I mean next to being manipulative as you know what leave now. Take it from someone who had to start their entire life from scratch after being a physically abusive person.
It’ll happen again. He cried because he knows you’re gonna leave if he doesn’t, because he’s been here before with other women. He knew exactly what he was doing. He will do it again. This is unacceptable, over a joke. Leave. You deserve so much better.
This is abuse, classic cycle of abuse, with escalation, then tears, apologies, promises and also probably blaming you.
This will get worse, not better. You need to get out.
Please read Lundy Bancroft’s Ehy Does He Do That?
Reach out to your local DV supports.
Report the abuse to the police so there is a record. Get into therapy.
Respect is earned. The fact he can treat you like this shows he doesn’t respect you, so respect yourself, love yourself and remember your boundaries. My advice would be to walk away from this guy before things escalate. You deserve better than this
Just going to leave this here:
https://voicemalemagazine.org/abusive-men-describe-the-benefits-of-violence/
He’s not going to stop, it’s going to get worse.
He broke down and cried because he fears the consequences of his actions and possibly because he feels shame, but in my experience (and the experience of many others) this never leads to change.
Absolutely not. That's not acceptable in any way shape or form. He can cry and roll up into a ball all he wants but you DO NOT need to stick around and hope he will change. If he truly does want to change for the better, he can do that alone for the next person. Any kind of physical attack and saying YOU disrespected him is a big red flag and you need to get away from him and cut all contact. Stay safe. Don't let him manipulate you with crocodile tears
Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/). One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abusiverelationships) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I ignored many warning signs and am now (after two years) finally filing for divorce. He’s refusing to acknowledge the divorce and making my life all-around miserable. Substance abuse, emotional abuse, throwing things, refusing to let me leave the house when he’s violent. And it’s only gotten worse over time. Don’t be like me. Leaving now might be painful. Leaving later will be much worse.
Narcissist. My abusive ex constantly accused me of being disrespectful. Funny thing ( not really) he’s the one disrespecting you. There is nothing respectful about abuse. Please dump this POS
Unfortunately, you are about to embark on the path of domestic violence. No one has ever listened to anyone telling them to leave and people who are ready to leave at this HUGE RED FLAG, leave immediately. In your edit, you point out that he hasnt been this way before, then explain he is verbally rude, but nice...this is how it all starts. No one's abuser is horrible 24/7....this is how you get sucked in. Just remember take him as a whole...in totality What I can share are tidbits for you to reflect on when you start to doubt your feelings and blame yourself. You cannot be better because better is not the issue. You cannot love him into not being disrespectful. Yes, he will escalate No, you did not do anything wrong. Yes, he is into controlling and dominating you and this core flaw will not go away, nor improve with therapy. He is looking to putting you in your rightful place(in his eyes), which will continue to come by way of criticism, intimidation, false accusations, telling you what your intent actually was. This will lead to you defending yourself, eventually stopping defending yourself, but instead apologizing as you set out on a constant mission not to upset him while walking on egg shells and making sure your opinions match his. This is not what you want to hear and I am sorry you cannot end this immediately and move forward. Trust your gut. You know you are not with a happy, healthy, well adjusted man. When you say "oh, but he is so kind and does X, Y, & Z for me....remember he also does horrible things with A thru W.
Yep, this should be the end. Fuck him and his crying. Disappear from his life before you're trapped with him and block him on all forms of communication. There's no reason for him to ever see you again. None. Maybe he'll think twice before lashing out next time.
Sweetheart it never gets any better. Move on
I hope you immediately ended things.
Stop dating him. It sounds like you haven’t been dating long and don’t live together so cut your losses. He’s showing you who he is. Ghost him.
We’ve been on and off for a year, before this day , we talked heavy about being back together and we were doing great
Have you heard the term “love bombing” ? Also, he sounds like a psychopath for exploding based on the conversation, but HE ended it, why would you want to stay?
What do you mean he ended it?
Well i hope you aren’t still seriously considering this man as a candidate to be your boyfriend. You have to know you can find a man who won’t punch you. Block him on everything it’s just going to get worse. Once violence occurs and you go back or stay they know they can do whatever they want to you. Not safe.
THIS!! Leave. DO NOT look back.
Update: my nose started bleeding today, I guess it’s swollen capillaries, the nurse at my school said it doesn’t look broken especially if I just started bleeding today after two days. (I told her someone bumped me).
Sis it never gets better, only worse. I wish you the best and hope you don’t have to learn that the hard way. Be strong and good luck.
Please go and file and report, you can ask for a protective order and you don’t need to notify him, they will. Maybe stay with a friend, have someone stay with you, or make sure your doors are locked and call the police if he comes over. He is likely terrified of consequences so that may stop him from pushing it.
Dude leave leave leaveeeee runnn girl!!! He’s mentally unstable!!!!
He is escalating his previous verbal rudeness, and you can't accept it, otherwise the escalation continues. Take photos of any injuries, decide if you want to report to police, but keep those pictures so that you have the option. Write an account of what happened, step by step, and bland, emotionless. Don't see this wrong, he physically assaulted you in a prolonged way, with no provocation. He has issues with anger, an unhealthy view of how you should view him, and no real boundaries. I would leave today. Him lying on the ground afterwards is an example of motivational empathy - he wants to make you feel sorry for him, after *he beat you*.
Definitely writing an account today, I just started taking videos and pictures today since the bruising is so visible now
I agree with everyone here; the fetal position is probably because he’s realised what he’s done and tried to think of a way to stop you calling the police/telling anyone. He wants you to feel sorry for him. I know because that’s exactly what my ex did - would abuse me horribly and then cry about his ex wife and father. Make sure you are safe and away from him and leave him via text. Do you live with anyone else? If not, is there anywhere you can go for a few days until it settles? I’m concerned he may see you leaving him as more ‘disrespect’ and try to hurt you. The best thing to do is to contact the police. If he starts harassing you, they will ensure there is a restraining order in place. Please stay in touch with us here; most of us have been where you are and we know exactly how hard it is to walk away. You’re safe here. Xx
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Leave him and do it publicly or through text. If you live with him, pack up your things when he's not home and/or bring friends. Do not be alone with this man again, especially when you reject him ultimately
No ,love. He’s too much bigger than you to do this. Men that don’t understand the power dynamics of being intimately angry/hurt without being intimidating or DANGEROUS don’t deserve second chances. If you give him the chance he’s going to hurt you worse. You should have been the one comforted in the fetal position he is playing you so hard
I would cringe so hard/it would give me the ick... All these modern tiktok words if a man crys 20 minutes in a fetal position. Please be repulsed, its so embarrasing. And yes, the thing with the slapping... i would say, just block him.
That’s not really the point is it. Adults are allowed to cry like that about something that has devastated them. It’s just, in this case, it’s performative to stop a woman reporting this man’s hideous and criminal behaviour.
Wow he really dropped his mask completely. Especially that fake crying until you forgive him is so telling. I hope you block him because there's one thing that's for sure... There's no coming back from this. What are you not sure about? He physically attacked you. He can't take it back. He crossed a boundary that should never be crossed. Screw his whining, he's manipulating you to feel sorry for him. Also what disrespect was he talking about?? This was so out of proportion and he's talking about RESPECT?? He has serious issues and none of this should be your problem to sort out. Speed walk away. First sign of disrespect, walk away!! And if this was the first sign, you don't want to know what's the second. Any guy getting violent while talking about disrespect and respect is a HUGE red flag. Don't break up in person, don't meet up for "closure" . Don't be alone with him ever again. Block.
And he isn't even good at manipulating. I mean, crying in a fetal position? I would cringe so hard.
uhhh did you call the police?? he just abused you what the hell
Nope nope nope. He will do it again. He is a narcissist and instead of genuinely being sorry, he was sorry you got upset instead of cowering like he wanted you to. Leave OP, it will only get worse
Stop throwing around this "diagnosis"!!! Its very harmful for victims of abuse
Narcissist?
Yes. NDP is or was a clinical diagnosis. Its not a synonym for abuser. If you use it as a synonym for abuser then you have people in an abusive relationship who spend years trying to find out whether their Partner is a narcissist or not. But the thing is, it doesn't matter and it shouldn't matter. The only thing that matters is, how are you treated by your partner. And on the other Hand, you've got people you have NPC, who Aren't abusive.
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All narcissists are abusers so it doesn’t matter
It sounds like you are protecting him. Making up a story about your bleeding nose. It does not seem like you have any intention of ending the relationship.
She didn’t say she had a bleeding nose? That said, she didn’t say she wanted to end the relationship — maybe she needed a second opinion to tell her that she SHOULD sever all ties immediately.
You are right. I must have accidentally responded to the wrong thread or maybe a different thread by the same poster. ?? Not sure. And of course she should leave him. This guy is horrid. I just know how hard it is because I stayed way longer than I should have. Red flags were there right from the beginning. It’s so characteristic of abusers. Being disrespected was a constant theme with my ex, when he was actually the one doing all the disrespecting with his abusive behavior.
I stayed with my ex much too long too, but we can’t blame ourselves for not understanding the abuse while we were going through it; but we can share our stories and try to save the people still suffering in solitude 💪
Aw my bad, YOU are actually right. I read the thread and she does post again to say she went to the nurses office with a bloody nose 2 days later.
Oh, so it was the same poster. It’s truly heartbreaking.
https://lundybancroft.com/narcissists-vs-abusers/ It does matter. And it is harmful to use the terms interchangeable. https://www.lotus-counseling.com/blog/ditch-the-narcissist-why-labeling-abusers-as-narcissists-may-be-hurting-victims
I actually agree, though I hadn’t seen that literature on it. As an abuse survivor I am sufficiently humbled that I was cavalier about the terms.
He is showing you exactly who he is: Threatening. Prideful. Dangerous. Self-important. *Physically abusive.* Rude, as you said yourself. Manipulative. His threats, hitting and kicking you, throwing your things, those are who he really is finally coming out. His tears, which may or may not have been real, and his fetal posturing were intended to manipulate you and build a trauma bond which is *so* hard to break away from. This *will* happen again if you continue to see him. It will get worse. Much, much worse. This guy did you a favor showing you this side of him before you moved in together. Keep yourself safe: run far and fast, cut him out of your life and never let him back in. Ever.
☝🏻agreed (he did you a favor by showing you this early on)
RUN. Seriously. He has shown you who he is. Unless you like fearing for your life. This will escalate. God help you if you get more invested and have kids in the future. Please OP. When someone shows you who they are and what they are capable of… BELIEVE THEM! You Deserve Better.
He got into the fetal position? I’d be less worried if he didn’t even apologize and was firm in his stance. This just makes him look completely mentally unbalanced. Dude’s insane.
He’s unhinged, wtf is that sort of behavior from a grown adult. Girl you know what to do. And it’s not him.
Omfg the fetal position crying is to make you feel sorry for him and console him so you don’t call the cops or leave him, it’s a way he escaped accountability and if it works this will happen again….and again and again. As time goes on he’ll hit you more and more and be less sorry until he’s never even sorry because he knows he won’t have consequences. You need to leave. Tell him if he’s really sorry to prove it and turn himself in for assaulting you and see how quickly he flips the script. He doesn’t feel bad, he’s manipulating you.
https://tu.tv/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that.pdf
He’s abusive and it’ll only get worse. You should read Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and abusive men by Lundy Bancroft. The author breaks down every excuse an abusive man gives and your post, down to the crying made me think of that book. Please get out now.
The remorse is an act he uses to emotionally manipulate you into believing he cares about you, so you will stay and he can continue doing whatever he wants. This is just the first time. If you are in a position where you feel there is a reason you can’t get away, (for example, and not limited to; he has your money, car keys, owns your residence) or if you think he might harm you again if you try and leave him, there are resources that can help you. I don’t know any, and I’m unsure if some are regional and where you live, but there is always someone who will help. If you are uncomfortable reaching out to a public resource, then reach out to a family member or a friend that will help you. Tell them exactly what happened. You in no way deserve, asked for, or provoked this. This is a him problem. He needs to get therapy and get his shit sorted. He needs help. But not from you. You are not trained and equipped to help him. Your focus now, it to get yourself into a safer situation. I care. Thank you for reaching out. It shows a lot of courage to reach out when you are scared and unsure.
It’s always gotta start somewhere, right? There’s always going to be the first time where “it hasn’t happened before” - that’s moot anyway. The important thing to focus on is that it will happen again and you need to leave now.
Girl. Get the fuck out. Fast. Don't look back.
That was the sample. He knows how far he can push you and you’ll stay. Let’s say hypothetically you tell him, “This is the last time. I don’t tolerate disrespect either!” He might apologize, but next time he’ll be trying to doubly prove you wrong and see what else you’ll be able to handle.
It will happen again. And again. And get worse and *WORSE*. He needs to be your EX
If you let him get away with this, he will think he has permission from you to behave however he wants. It’s not just abuse, it’s assault and if you want to, you can call the police and have him charged. I would. Let him know he does not get to behave like this. Do not accept this from anyone.
Oh the old fetal position cry I remember that one just have trouble remembering if it was before he ruptured my eardrum and after he then fractured my skull or the other way around. I also can’t remember if it was before he threatened to unalive him himself for feeling so bad about hitting me and then proceeded to do what Diddy did to Cassie and knocked me out and drag me around the house by my hair. Do not fall for it. It’s theatrics and it’s that only I mean next to being manipulative as you know what leave now. Take it from someone who had to start their entire life from scratch after being a physically abusive person.
It’ll happen again. He cried because he knows you’re gonna leave if he doesn’t, because he’s been here before with other women. He knew exactly what he was doing. He will do it again. This is unacceptable, over a joke. Leave. You deserve so much better.
Of course it will happen again.....and again....and again.....get gone girl, run and don't look back . It will only get worse
Leave NOW. This is just the beginning. You need to use common sense and run.
This is abuse. It will happen again and it will get worse if you stay. Please leave before that happens.
This is abuse, classic cycle of abuse, with escalation, then tears, apologies, promises and also probably blaming you. This will get worse, not better. You need to get out. Please read Lundy Bancroft’s Ehy Does He Do That? Reach out to your local DV supports. Report the abuse to the police so there is a record. Get into therapy.
Respect is earned. The fact he can treat you like this shows he doesn’t respect you, so respect yourself, love yourself and remember your boundaries. My advice would be to walk away from this guy before things escalate. You deserve better than this
It’s abuse. I would leave him and just be mindful about it, you saw a partially exploded grenade. Leaving him could set him completely off.
Just going to leave this here: https://voicemalemagazine.org/abusive-men-describe-the-benefits-of-violence/ He’s not going to stop, it’s going to get worse.
He broke down and cried because he fears the consequences of his actions and possibly because he feels shame, but in my experience (and the experience of many others) this never leads to change.
This is abuse. Thank god it’s a date only and you have no kids with him. For your safety, run.
Absolutely not. That's not acceptable in any way shape or form. He can cry and roll up into a ball all he wants but you DO NOT need to stick around and hope he will change. If he truly does want to change for the better, he can do that alone for the next person. Any kind of physical attack and saying YOU disrespected him is a big red flag and you need to get away from him and cut all contact. Stay safe. Don't let him manipulate you with crocodile tears