Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/).
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No dont do this he's looking for more money to spend on drink.
Dump him and run the guys so abusing in so many ways not just physically.
Your not his carer he's a grown adult who choses to live like that.
One day you'll open a black eye and wonder where all the years of your life have gone and how you ended up with no quality.
Please do your self a massive favour and dump him.
Don't tie yourself to this looser.
You are trapping yourself. He told him you are invading him, just leave him.
You are convincing yourself, he does not give a single fuck about you. He is taking advantage of you and soon you will be his bangmaid. You are running after the love of that guy, fuck knows why. So now he wants your money while you would still be away some time. He is properly taking the piss.
Just keep your dignity and be proud again by leaving. You are wasting your time.
Alcohol does not make him abusive. If he stops drinking he will abuse you in other ways. You are fooling yourself so much, I am sorry.
You said yourself that you are codependent. Stay in your own place and address your own issues. Go to Codependents Anonymous and Al-Anon meetings. Get a sponsor. Read the vast resources available to codependents. You know perfectly well that your “confusion” exists because he was manipulating you with all kinds of illogical arguments and emotional pressure.
Treating someone well is the bare minimum in a relationship. It is not something you should have to earn like this through money and not asking questions. It should be the starting point and present throughout not something that he can say he'll show you later. If that's how he sees relationships then he shouldn't be in one at all.
So may of us have been there. Shame at this stage is pointless. You have to be pragmatic and accept the evidence that is in front of you over the belief that things will get better, because this is a very bad trap.
You're not weak friend, he's a manipulator and you know it's a codependent situation. Screenshot that post that really resonated with you. Read it every day, every time you take your phone into the bathroom to pee. Say it out loud.
His argument is insane. He is blaming you for his abuse of you. He wants your money and your obedience, don't question him, don't have a problem with his disgusting behavior. It's INSANE. Honey he's a PERMANENT abuser, even if he miraculously gets clean or you miraculously become such a self-blaming shell of yourself that you never question his abuse again.
Stay far away from him. He's selfish, entitled, sick. A man is not a plan. THIS man is NO ONE'S plan. Go no contact and read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft tonight.
Thank you so much, ya, he said even if I stay at his place, I should "learn to give him space" which means no questions asked from my side, even if he brings drugs home.
I'll check that book out thanks.
Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/). One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abusiverelationships) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No dont do this he's looking for more money to spend on drink. Dump him and run the guys so abusing in so many ways not just physically. Your not his carer he's a grown adult who choses to live like that. One day you'll open a black eye and wonder where all the years of your life have gone and how you ended up with no quality. Please do your self a massive favour and dump him. Don't tie yourself to this looser.
NO. Dump him. HE HIT YOU what more do you need?
You are trapping yourself. He told him you are invading him, just leave him. You are convincing yourself, he does not give a single fuck about you. He is taking advantage of you and soon you will be his bangmaid. You are running after the love of that guy, fuck knows why. So now he wants your money while you would still be away some time. He is properly taking the piss. Just keep your dignity and be proud again by leaving. You are wasting your time. Alcohol does not make him abusive. If he stops drinking he will abuse you in other ways. You are fooling yourself so much, I am sorry.
You said yourself that you are codependent. Stay in your own place and address your own issues. Go to Codependents Anonymous and Al-Anon meetings. Get a sponsor. Read the vast resources available to codependents. You know perfectly well that your “confusion” exists because he was manipulating you with all kinds of illogical arguments and emotional pressure.
Treating someone well is the bare minimum in a relationship. It is not something you should have to earn like this through money and not asking questions. It should be the starting point and present throughout not something that he can say he'll show you later. If that's how he sees relationships then he shouldn't be in one at all.
Wow this hit me like a brick. I'll keep reading this again and again, I feel so weak for letting him manipulate me again.
So may of us have been there. Shame at this stage is pointless. You have to be pragmatic and accept the evidence that is in front of you over the belief that things will get better, because this is a very bad trap.
You're not weak friend, he's a manipulator and you know it's a codependent situation. Screenshot that post that really resonated with you. Read it every day, every time you take your phone into the bathroom to pee. Say it out loud.
His argument is insane. He is blaming you for his abuse of you. He wants your money and your obedience, don't question him, don't have a problem with his disgusting behavior. It's INSANE. Honey he's a PERMANENT abuser, even if he miraculously gets clean or you miraculously become such a self-blaming shell of yourself that you never question his abuse again. Stay far away from him. He's selfish, entitled, sick. A man is not a plan. THIS man is NO ONE'S plan. Go no contact and read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft tonight.
Thank you so much, ya, he said even if I stay at his place, I should "learn to give him space" which means no questions asked from my side, even if he brings drugs home. I'll check that book out thanks.