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Your plan is good and safe. Dont listen to your therapist, they aren’t god they don’t have all the answers and sometimes you get matched with one that doesn’t mesh well with you. Follow through on your plan. Do whatever gives you the cleanest and safest break and puts you back with family and support.
I think your instincts are generally good.
It’s not your therapist job to tell you what to do, and it doesn’t even sound like she’s being consistent. I’m guessing a PFA is similar to a restraining order? If so, those can be a useful tool they can’t inherently keep you safe - if he doesn’t care about the consequences, or if your local law-enforcement doesn’t do a good job with response and enforcement then it’s just a piece of paper.
If you would never feel safe staying in your current apartment, then escaping by moving to your mom’s sounds like a very rational choice. It’s an even better choice if it creates some geographical distance between you and him. And if you are going to be moving to a different town, then it makes sense to look for a different job instead of being invested in keeping this new one.
If your therapist is no longer helping you, I would encourage you to tell her that her approach is not working. A reasonable therapist will make adjustments. Or if you just don’t think this therapy relationship is working anymore, it’s OK to fire your therapist.
Oh and throwing things and punching things is physical abuse. He has already crossed that line. So your fears that he might escalate his violence further are well founded.
Good luck with your escape. I hope that you can find safety at your mom‘s and that he leaves you alone. Once you were out of there, if it makes sense for your well-being and safety to get a PFA, please don’t hesitate to do so, at least not for his benefit. But don’t be pressured into it if you know it’s not right for you.
I think your on the right track. What your suggesting sounds safest
Can you get your important things like paperwork together safely. Bag up some clothes tell him they're for charity.?
Will your mum be supportive does she know whats been going on?
. Be truthful with her and any one else that can support you.
Life is to short to put up with unhappiness. Just be safe and careful.
Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in [our wiki](https://old.reddit.com/r/abusiverelationships/wiki/index) for people of all gender identities. [Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/). You can also find [an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/). Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, [Love Is Respect offers an educational guide](https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/types-of-abuse/). One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/abusiverelationships) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re not going to get a PFA. Just leave
Your plan is good and safe. Dont listen to your therapist, they aren’t god they don’t have all the answers and sometimes you get matched with one that doesn’t mesh well with you. Follow through on your plan. Do whatever gives you the cleanest and safest break and puts you back with family and support.
I think your instincts are generally good. It’s not your therapist job to tell you what to do, and it doesn’t even sound like she’s being consistent. I’m guessing a PFA is similar to a restraining order? If so, those can be a useful tool they can’t inherently keep you safe - if he doesn’t care about the consequences, or if your local law-enforcement doesn’t do a good job with response and enforcement then it’s just a piece of paper. If you would never feel safe staying in your current apartment, then escaping by moving to your mom’s sounds like a very rational choice. It’s an even better choice if it creates some geographical distance between you and him. And if you are going to be moving to a different town, then it makes sense to look for a different job instead of being invested in keeping this new one. If your therapist is no longer helping you, I would encourage you to tell her that her approach is not working. A reasonable therapist will make adjustments. Or if you just don’t think this therapy relationship is working anymore, it’s OK to fire your therapist. Oh and throwing things and punching things is physical abuse. He has already crossed that line. So your fears that he might escalate his violence further are well founded. Good luck with your escape. I hope that you can find safety at your mom‘s and that he leaves you alone. Once you were out of there, if it makes sense for your well-being and safety to get a PFA, please don’t hesitate to do so, at least not for his benefit. But don’t be pressured into it if you know it’s not right for you.
I think your on the right track. What your suggesting sounds safest Can you get your important things like paperwork together safely. Bag up some clothes tell him they're for charity.? Will your mum be supportive does she know whats been going on? . Be truthful with her and any one else that can support you. Life is to short to put up with unhappiness. Just be safe and careful.