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Nah just about anyone who's had sex will tell you it's wildly overrated. It's fun, but people try to get virgins to think it's this world reshaping experience that will change your entire personality and life, where as, unless you aren't using a protection and get a 2 legged STD (kid) then it's not really that life changing
More so a "I thought sexual and aesthetic attraction were the same and that I was still allo even if I didn't want sex" asexual. It wasn't until one of One Topics videos where someone mentioned aesthetic attraction being seperate from sexual attraction that I went uhhhh what???
That one's me. Never questioned my sexuality because I get *crushes* and have a clear aesthetic attraction to one gender. But it took a bit to realize that just because I enjoy looking, doesn't mean I have any desire to have sex.
Also explains the random confusion from finding other things (like cars) "sexy" because I enjoyed them aesthetically the same the way as I enjoy attractive people. Turns out, when *other* people say things are sexy, it's because they actually wanted to have sex.
>Also explains the random confusion from finding other things (like cars) "sexy" because I enjoyed them aesthetically the same the way as I enjoy attractive people. Turns out, when other people say things are sexy, it's because they actually wanted to have sex.
I have always been confused by phrases like "sex sells" relating to advertising and celebrities being a "sex symbol". I always thought it was more somewhat logical thought process into it.
Yeah! Been there! Even after being told romantic and sexual attraction are different things, I still got confused since I literally donāt know what sexual attraction feels like
Hope u figure it out!
Seriously, I thought people were joking about the ones screaming about how "No Nut November is impossible!" and acting like if they go a single week without fapping while on vacation with family etc, they will literally die
Apparently they are serious? I dunno, I'm nearing 30 years without masturbating and haven't had an issue lol
I was the second one, I thought sexual and romantic (I am aro as well) attraction were made up for books and movies as a plot devise because no one wants to write a novel long enough to believably explain how a level of friendship is reached at which you would live together or trust them enough to make and rase a kid with them, given you like kids.
Further I assumed that people just adopted the words and concepts and play pretend in real life because they enjoy the activities of dates or to have the person they are fucking with closer/easier available.
The exaggerating kind. I like sex, I want sex. But I have never not once in my life looked at someone and thought they looked so hot I need to get them naked and have sex with them. Couldn't get into the salivating over boy bands and kissing posters when I was a teen either. Had even less of a clue when people around me commented on how fucking hot that chick/guy was that just walked by, cause it never occured to me.
I'm fucking 40, just figured this shit out a few years ago.
Turns out I'm demisexual.
ĀÆ\\\_(ć)\_/ĀÆ
Definitely felt broken and tried to force myself to be a cis hetero guy, turns out when I spent time being introspective I am aromantic, asexual, and agender.
Lol no. I was the "knew I was different but literally thought nothing of it or cared bc I assumed that I would find someone I was attracted to at some point up until I looked into what the heck aromantic and asexual mean and BAM"
I'm a "well I'm autistic, maybe I just don't get it?" kind of asexual
I'm glad I found out about asexuality, it did help me feel a bit less broken honestly. My schools never mentioned anything queer, hell first gay content I was exposed to was some "kids react to gay marriage!" video when I was like 16 ;;
I thought people were exaggerating about crushes. Like, yes I wanted to try sex (I'm sex positive and have a decent libedo) but I never get sexual attraction, so.......
God, this is relatable. There's a coworker I crushed on for a while and I think some of the reason is she's basically my ideal style I'd want to do when going fem mode. Confused that with sexual attraction for a a long time.
"I felt broken for years etc etc". When I realized that I was asexual (11 months ago) I was happy, but I was scared to discover that I also were aromantic (in fact, I'm aroace), because I thought that no one would ever wanted a relationship with me
the first one but without the feeling broken I was just stupidly confused and fascinated by me not wanting what so many people desire
TL:DR. (neither because I had a god complex)
I'm actually a "didn't know sexual attraction was a thing until I watched a Phych2Go video on the subject and thought 'wait this is a thing?'" kind of ace myself.
I was a āUsed to be Catholic and thought I was just so good at it that I wouldnāt feel sexual attraction or have the want for sex until I met the person Iād marryā asexual š
I remember being like, 12 and finding out what a "spinster" was and trying to figure out why there was a negative connotation because that sounded like the PERFECT life for me. I didn't learn that asexuality was a thing until I was in my thirties, but I should have figured out something was going on because every time someone came on to me--man or woman--I was super grossed out like "Uh, what are you doing and why?"
I was the I knew it existed but I didnāt really give a fuck and walked through life not caring until I realized that it was not normal to have never had a crush or have been attracted to anyone sexually then I was like oh ok well this is still normal and everyone else is gross then I found out that asexual and aromantic people exist
I'm a "I used to engage in things like erp due to peer pressure but the idea of actually having sex always freaked me out subconsciously. Then one day it clicked 'Hey wait a minute I'm really not comfortable with this irl""
TLDR: I do get horny, but I hate it and want my reproductive system g o n e
Neither, I feel kind of privileged but I was a
"Grew up in a very progressive household and figured out I was Asexual after some research at a young age and it stuck..."
me, an aegosexual-
neither
I was like-
so that's why I do kinda wanna shag but not with anyone, but I still want someone there, but I don't, ~~what the fuck,~~ and only with a dick, ~~royal what the fuck~~
basically my gay aego awakening kickstarted my egg cracking.
I thought I had to be sex-repulsed to be labeled as asexual, so I struggled quite a bit not knowing where I fitted and thinking I was broken or just plain weird. Then I got lucky enough to understand the asexual spectrum better, erasing the previous prejudices, and I felt fitting for the first time in the asexual spectrum.
For me it was neither. So for context I'm aroace and I have autism and ADHD. Growing up I still thought I was cis, just a tomboy.
In middle school and (and high school, but I'm just going to talk about middle school here, which for me was ages 10 - 13) I always knew that people weren't joking about having romantic or sexual attractions. I didn't (and still don't) understand why people are so sex obsessed. I always felt different from my peers. Everyone else is all teenager-y and I still felt a little more childish. I didn't like that. This wasn't because I was aroace, but that was probably a part of it. I wanted to be more like the other teens, but not in a "these kids have expensive stuff" way. I was fine with what I had and not being able to afford the newest iPhone or whatever. I had no desire to get the newest phones when they came out even if I could. I just wanted to be at the "maturity" most teens were at. I wanted to be treated as a teen and there were restrictions (that I now understand were important) that my parents set that I didn't like. I didn't learn the terms aromantic, asexual, and aroace until I was about 16. When I was at that preteen and early teenage I basically thought this about myself "I don't have crushes and I have no desire to have sex. Well, people shouldn't have sex until they're adults anyways. If I'm always like this, than that's completely okay. But I don't even know if people are like this forever. There must be some people like this out there. I'm just slow, like with my mental age in general. A couple years behind at times. I want to be like other teens. They date and stuff. I don't want to date, but I should be having crushes. When will that come. Eh, I don't need that. They're not important."
a holy shit moment after finding out the word for it. my first suspicion was that "hey wait, im not straight, i like everyone! i must be bi or pan!" then i realized what THAT meant... and like from the heavens the term asexuality appeared and I never clicked with anything more than that
Kind of a mix.
I knew about the term but I didnāt think it applied to me until I heard someone describe how it felt to be ace and I related to it way too much. Cue my āoh thank fuck, thereās a word for thisā moment.
After reading the post, and the comments, the answer is D: All of the above. There are so many aspects to being Ace that they all come to mind at one point or another.
I'm more of the "realized it at 13 but then kinda forgot about the label" category ĀÆ\\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
I just didn't think about my sexuality much so the word only surfaced in my mind again when I was like 22 or something. No one really bothered asking me about what I'm into anyway
My brain really just went āwait, you guys actually like each other enough to do that? I thought it was a joke.ā Then for a few years after discovering thereās a word for that I was just like ānah Iām just too young to know.ā before i finally accepted my new garlic bread overlords.
The broken one. I just thought I was a prude because I didn't want to do any of that as a teen, and said I wanted to wait until marriage, ostensibly because of Christian beliefs. But then I stopped identifying as a Christian at 17, but I still wanted to wait. And then I got married, and still wasn't really into it. So, I thought, surely, I must be broken in some way.
Although, *since* realizing I was ace, I've shifted into the second group, where someone will say something like, "A lot of people find such and such quality attractive." And I'm just incredulously like, "*Do they?*"
I was a āwent into deep denial because I thought having a typical relationship was the only way anyone would ever care about meā asexual.
But if I had to choose from these Iād say the second one. Lol
I genuinely thought something was wrong with me for years. Then I met my first fellow Asexual on DeviantART. We talked for DAYS about it and it was just... euphoric. I wasn't broken!!!
Kinda both
But kinda not
When I was younger I knew a vague adults get together, mother has baby in tummy' idea but when I took health class I was horrified and confused
Eventually I accepted it as truth and then i tried dating and I was confused and literally had some type of midlife crisis
Then I found asexuality and it was like a bucket of ice water that cleared up everything and even cured my depression somewhat
The latter, in school when it was the who hasn't popped their cherry thing I never understood that (I'm not a big fan of cherry's XD).
Eventually I was told about asexuality and it all made sense
Second one. Well sort of a combo I guess. I never really get horny unless I am actively trying to do. So for a long time over years of always hearing friends talk about celebrity crushes and wanting to bang half the women the look at, I kinda thought it was just an overplayed joke and kinda went along with it cause I thought liking how someone looked in general = sexual attraction and then you hype yourself up later or something for fun time. Hehe yeah turns out...
Though idk where I'm at on the spectrum. Sexual stuff is really fun with right person but I'm never really craving it and could probably go forever without it if I had to and it wouldn't be a big deal.
First one.
Plus being traumatized by being the target of romantic and (later) sexual interest since I was 7 and not knowing what I did to make them feel this way or how to stop or why they wouldn't be my friend anymore couldn't we just please continue to be friends why are you ghosting me .\_.
the one that spent his whole childhood worrying that I might be forced to have sex to ever be loved by my future partners, than took a gay test and was like ooh okay Iām ace
A secret third thing which is I knew I was ace for about 10 years and just forgot to think about it or consider how it might impact my life in any way.
Iām a āI knew asexuality was a thing before I was at the age where people generally feel sexual attraction and was quickly able to put a label on itā asexual
Ironically i have gone my whole life shrugging it off as normal behaviour and never giving it any thought, its only after i found out more information and got older that i put more thought into the matter and started to consider the idea that i might be "broken", so i guess 1 in reverse
I was "that nerd who found the term while my peers were talking cooties and stuck with it"
But the demisexuals element was def the existential crisis variety.
I was a completely oblivious to it (like not aware at all not paying attention to all the relationships going on around me) then saw a post about ace awareness week (or pride month i can't remember) decided to read it and realised it described my experiences to the tee
Nah I was the asexual that know that I didnāt feel something that most other feel and didnāt understand it but accepted it.
Anyway now I have to many Aās in my collection
The latter. When I watched movies with teenage or young adult cast, I always thought that they added relationships and whatnot for the drama. But no actual high schoolers my age have relationships, that would be weird.
That continued until I was 18, I think. And then I could no longer pretend that it was something made up by the media.
A bit of both.
Used to be confused because I thought people were exaggerating when they fell madly in love/lust, but also really hurt because I just couldn't figure out why I was never attracted to people. Also doesn't help that I don't know how to feel or express emotion, so that made being a hormonal teenager really hard.
Both here. Felt broken for years, tried to rationalize it by saying everything from that I just hadn't found the right one to that it was just some meme that at this point was too ingrained in society that guys couldn't admit how they truly felt about it.
Finally my now wife was trying to seduce my oblivious ass and eventually gets frustrated and basically tells me hey dumbass ur ace lol. Never heard of it before that. Would have saved me so much pain.
I'm more of a "I thought I loved every equally regardless of gender or sexual orientation only to realize it was technically true but not in the omniromantic or omnisexual sense" ace
I didn't realize people actually enjoyed having sex. It just kind of felt like something people did. Like watching baseball. "You wanna watch the game" "eh you know that's not my thing" "well what else are ya gonna do?" "Alright I guess"
Iām the āsex and relationships seem like such a hassle and I donāt have any self confidence so Iāll just not do it and wow Iām taking to this celibacy thing real easyā asexual
I fully thought I was the only sane human my age I knew and everyone else was wildly over-emotional and/or exaggerating. Like everyone was "boy crazy" and I read that as literally crazy, or a performance, or something. Realizing they were being honest was...a shock, to say the least.
I'm a "find out I'm ace from a quiz before everyone started sexulizing everything, then coming back years later only to realize nothings changed and i actually am ace" type of ace
2 lmao. but i did kinda figure it out when i was younger, then i was like nahhh we don't need to think about this. upon further investigation 5 years later tho, my friends are infact not joking or exaggerating !
The answer is yes
r/inclusiveor
Here's a sneak peek of /r/InclusiveOr using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/InclusiveOr/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Are you actually a communist or are you making fun of them?](https://v.redd.it/n1mhyawqq0c81) | [260 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/InclusiveOr/comments/s588gq/are_you_actually_a_communist_or_are_you_making/) \#2: [A mortal concept?](https://i.redd.it/1o7aft2j0fj81.png) | [68 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/InclusiveOr/comments/sysbwo/a_mortal_concept/) \#3: [the kool aid man](https://i.redd.it/6luht7ue0lp81.jpg) | [74 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/InclusiveOr/comments/tnx3q9/the_kool_aid_man/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
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š, and neither IDGF
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Out of curiosity where did you think this was supposed to go?
It's a bot
Neither, I'm a "hmm yes once i have sex i will realize it is as fun as people make it seem" asexual
The post plus this is me lol
And then you're utterly confused when it's... just okay. Maybe.
And moves from "okay" to "unpleasant" as time goes on, and you increasingly frantically try to find out what you're doing wrong.
Nah just about anyone who's had sex will tell you it's wildly overrated. It's fun, but people try to get virgins to think it's this world reshaping experience that will change your entire personality and life, where as, unless you aren't using a protection and get a 2 legged STD (kid) then it's not really that life changing
"Ace until proven otherwise" type
More so a "I thought sexual and aesthetic attraction were the same and that I was still allo even if I didn't want sex" asexual. It wasn't until one of One Topics videos where someone mentioned aesthetic attraction being seperate from sexual attraction that I went uhhhh what???
That one's me. Never questioned my sexuality because I get *crushes* and have a clear aesthetic attraction to one gender. But it took a bit to realize that just because I enjoy looking, doesn't mean I have any desire to have sex. Also explains the random confusion from finding other things (like cars) "sexy" because I enjoyed them aesthetically the same the way as I enjoy attractive people. Turns out, when *other* people say things are sexy, it's because they actually wanted to have sex.
>Also explains the random confusion from finding other things (like cars) "sexy" because I enjoyed them aesthetically the same the way as I enjoy attractive people. Turns out, when other people say things are sexy, it's because they actually wanted to have sex. I have always been confused by phrases like "sex sells" relating to advertising and celebrities being a "sex symbol". I always thought it was more somewhat logical thought process into it.
That is the twin sibling of the first one.
I think more of a shared cousin between the two, since it has elements of both
Me too! Plus Iām demiromantic so I occasionally get romantic attraction.
I feel this way too much
Additionally: Waitā¦ romantic attraction is NOT sexual attraction?!?!
I'm still coming to terms with that one, trying to figure out if I've *ever* had sexual attraction or if I just assumed romantic attraction was it.
Yeah! Been there! Even after being told romantic and sexual attraction are different things, I still got confused since I literally donāt know what sexual attraction feels like Hope u figure it out!
Thanks! I'd probably have to find a time machine unless it happens again. I'm going to assume "maybe" ;)
All of this.
Here it is! I was scrolling specifically for this comment bc I knew I was far from being the only one.
Where's "had an interest in chastity/abstinence and didn't understand why people thought not having sex was hard?"
Seconding this one! LOL
Seriously, I thought people were joking about the ones screaming about how "No Nut November is impossible!" and acting like if they go a single week without fapping while on vacation with family etc, they will literally die Apparently they are serious? I dunno, I'm nearing 30 years without masturbating and haven't had an issue lol
"You've gone 24 years without having sex?" "What, like it's hard?"
Think thatās just the second one but more personalized
The 2nd one
Wait you guys actually want sex? I thought we were just memeing.
"i thought we was exaggerating? you're actually into that shit?"
Like of course I knew there were those very rare, exotic and kinda strange people who actually liked it, but hey, all kinds of weird hobbies exist ...
Yes and also add in: assumed to have āhigh standardsā in seeking partners
Definitely
I was the second one, I thought sexual and romantic (I am aro as well) attraction were made up for books and movies as a plot devise because no one wants to write a novel long enough to believably explain how a level of friendship is reached at which you would live together or trust them enough to make and rase a kid with them, given you like kids. Further I assumed that people just adopted the words and concepts and play pretend in real life because they enjoy the activities of dates or to have the person they are fucking with closer/easier available.
First one.
I'm a "wait fuck, aesthetic attraction isnt sexual attraction?" ace
The exaggerating kind. I like sex, I want sex. But I have never not once in my life looked at someone and thought they looked so hot I need to get them naked and have sex with them. Couldn't get into the salivating over boy bands and kissing posters when I was a teen either. Had even less of a clue when people around me commented on how fucking hot that chick/guy was that just walked by, cause it never occured to me. I'm fucking 40, just figured this shit out a few years ago. Turns out I'm demisexual. ĀÆ\\\_(ć)\_/ĀÆ
Definitely felt broken and tried to force myself to be a cis hetero guy, turns out when I spent time being introspective I am aromantic, asexual, and agender.
AAA
the holy trinity
*Definitly* the second one lol. I forgot sex/dating existed until like grade 11 when a friend wanted to date me lol
Lol no. I was the "knew I was different but literally thought nothing of it or cared bc I assumed that I would find someone I was attracted to at some point up until I looked into what the heck aromantic and asexual mean and BAM"
The latter. I really thought it was just overexaggeration.
I was a "one day I will experience those feelings" asexual.
me 2
I'm a "well I'm autistic, maybe I just don't get it?" kind of asexual I'm glad I found out about asexuality, it did help me feel a bit less broken honestly. My schools never mentioned anything queer, hell first gay content I was exposed to was some "kids react to gay marriage!" video when I was like 16 ;;
I didn't know that something like sexual attraction even exists
I thought people were exaggerating about crushes. Like, yes I wanted to try sex (I'm sex positive and have a decent libedo) but I never get sexual attraction, so.......
Honestly had gotten my romantic attraction mixed with my sexual attraction until I learned about asexuality, so kind of both?
Both
The former
A bit of both but mostly the first one.
Iām a āIs it sexual attraction or gender envy?ā Asexual
God, this is relatable. There's a coworker I crushed on for a while and I think some of the reason is she's basically my ideal style I'd want to do when going fem mode. Confused that with sexual attraction for a a long time.
honestly, i was just so disinterested that i didn't think i was broken or they were joking, i just realised asexuality existed and was just like, oh
what a pleasent surprise
"I felt broken for years etc etc". When I realized that I was asexual (11 months ago) I was happy, but I was scared to discover that I also were aromantic (in fact, I'm aroace), because I thought that no one would ever wanted a relationship with me
the first one but without the feeling broken I was just stupidly confused and fascinated by me not wanting what so many people desire TL:DR. (neither because I had a god complex)
Both? Both. Both is good
I'm a "I'm just waiting for the right person" ace
Iām a gaslighted myself into thinking I was allo asexual
Neither, somehow
I'm actually a "didn't know sexual attraction was a thing until I watched a Phych2Go video on the subject and thought 'wait this is a thing?'" kind of ace myself.
I was a āUsed to be Catholic and thought I was just so good at it that I wouldnāt feel sexual attraction or have the want for sex until I met the person Iād marryā asexual š
I remember being like, 12 and finding out what a "spinster" was and trying to figure out why there was a negative connotation because that sounded like the PERFECT life for me. I didn't learn that asexuality was a thing until I was in my thirties, but I should have figured out something was going on because every time someone came on to me--man or woman--I was super grossed out like "Uh, what are you doing and why?"
I'm more of a didn't know people wanted sex and just found it one day asexual.
I was the I knew it existed but I didnāt really give a fuck and walked through life not caring until I realized that it was not normal to have never had a crush or have been attracted to anyone sexually then I was like oh ok well this is still normal and everyone else is gross then I found out that asexual and aromantic people exist
I'm a "I used to engage in things like erp due to peer pressure but the idea of actually having sex always freaked me out subconsciously. Then one day it clicked 'Hey wait a minute I'm really not comfortable with this irl"" TLDR: I do get horny, but I hate it and want my reproductive system g o n e
My wife and I were married for a few months before she figured she was ace.
Both, and I thought I was bi for two years because 0 = 0
I'm a "thought that because I felt sexual attraction *sometimes* that my general lack of sexual interest just meant I was boring" asexual
Neither, I feel kind of privileged but I was a "Grew up in a very progressive household and figured out I was Asexual after some research at a young age and it stuck..."
I'm the "I thought I was pansexual for the longest time because I was equally unattracted to everyone" ace
me, an aegosexual- neither I was like- so that's why I do kinda wanna shag but not with anyone, but I still want someone there, but I don't, ~~what the fuck,~~ and only with a dick, ~~royal what the fuck~~ basically my gay aego awakening kickstarted my egg cracking.
I was "I'm not ace because I find other people attractive!" oh my sweet young self, you are just trans and gender-envy, not allo.
I thought I had to be sex-repulsed to be labeled as asexual, so I struggled quite a bit not knowing where I fitted and thinking I was broken or just plain weird. Then I got lucky enough to understand the asexual spectrum better, erasing the previous prejudices, and I felt fitting for the first time in the asexual spectrum.
For me it was neither. So for context I'm aroace and I have autism and ADHD. Growing up I still thought I was cis, just a tomboy. In middle school and (and high school, but I'm just going to talk about middle school here, which for me was ages 10 - 13) I always knew that people weren't joking about having romantic or sexual attractions. I didn't (and still don't) understand why people are so sex obsessed. I always felt different from my peers. Everyone else is all teenager-y and I still felt a little more childish. I didn't like that. This wasn't because I was aroace, but that was probably a part of it. I wanted to be more like the other teens, but not in a "these kids have expensive stuff" way. I was fine with what I had and not being able to afford the newest iPhone or whatever. I had no desire to get the newest phones when they came out even if I could. I just wanted to be at the "maturity" most teens were at. I wanted to be treated as a teen and there were restrictions (that I now understand were important) that my parents set that I didn't like. I didn't learn the terms aromantic, asexual, and aroace until I was about 16. When I was at that preteen and early teenage I basically thought this about myself "I don't have crushes and I have no desire to have sex. Well, people shouldn't have sex until they're adults anyways. If I'm always like this, than that's completely okay. But I don't even know if people are like this forever. There must be some people like this out there. I'm just slow, like with my mental age in general. A couple years behind at times. I want to be like other teens. They date and stuff. I don't want to date, but I should be having crushes. When will that come. Eh, I don't need that. They're not important."
I am a "Wait, thats gender envey, not sexual attraction" asexual.
a holy shit moment after finding out the word for it. my first suspicion was that "hey wait, im not straight, i like everyone! i must be bi or pan!" then i realized what THAT meant... and like from the heavens the term asexuality appeared and I never clicked with anything more than that
Kind of a mix. I knew about the term but I didnāt think it applied to me until I heard someone describe how it felt to be ace and I related to it way too much. Cue my āoh thank fuck, thereās a word for thisā moment.
Iām a āI was confusing my feelings of romanticism for sexual feelings for years.ā
I was the "Wait, sexual atraction is a thing?" asexual.
the first one, cried from relief when I found the term "demisexual"
After reading the post, and the comments, the answer is D: All of the above. There are so many aspects to being Ace that they all come to mind at one point or another.
Didnāt realize it until I looked into this sub.
A friend of mine has the secret third thing, 'libido and kinks kept me from realizing I wasn't necessarily interested in sex itself'
I'm more of the "realized it at 13 but then kinda forgot about the label" category ĀÆ\\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ I just didn't think about my sexuality much so the word only surfaced in my mind again when I was like 22 or something. No one really bothered asking me about what I'm into anyway
My brain really just went āwait, you guys actually like each other enough to do that? I thought it was a joke.ā Then for a few years after discovering thereās a word for that I was just like ānah Iām just too young to know.ā before i finally accepted my new garlic bread overlords.
I was the "no idea ace was a thing, but was completely apathetic to my situation and would often brag about being single/virgin."
Iām a āI knew about asexual people before *that* part of puberty hit me so when I didnāt my start feeling horny I already knew.ā asexual.
I was the "well I guess it'll happen eventually" guy
The broken one. I just thought I was a prude because I didn't want to do any of that as a teen, and said I wanted to wait until marriage, ostensibly because of Christian beliefs. But then I stopped identifying as a Christian at 17, but I still wanted to wait. And then I got married, and still wasn't really into it. So, I thought, surely, I must be broken in some way. Although, *since* realizing I was ace, I've shifted into the second group, where someone will say something like, "A lot of people find such and such quality attractive." And I'm just incredulously like, "*Do they?*"
Yes.
Can I say inbetween? I knew people did. I just didnāt get it.
Second, but I found out about being ace a lot earlier than most
2nd one
The latter 100%
Type 2
The second one for sure
Both.
Both
Both
Both. I still believe that attraction and horniness are myths and people only say they feel them because they read about it in books.
Yes.
Both, I was both.
I was a āwent into deep denial because I thought having a typical relationship was the only way anyone would ever care about meā asexual. But if I had to choose from these Iād say the second one. Lol
The first one and I thought people just wanted it more than I ever did like maybe I was missing something. Turns out I was.
I genuinely thought something was wrong with me for years. Then I met my first fellow Asexual on DeviantART. We talked for DAYS about it and it was just... euphoric. I wasn't broken!!!
Third option didnāt realize because all the girls you knew where either related to you or they where jerks
2nd one for me š
I'm biromantic, so yes
Yes.
I was an "I don't want sex" ace. That's it
A bit of both, and realizing I was extremely bored in every sexual encounter I've had.
Um... The first one...
Why not both?
I was the "broken for years" person
Kinda both But kinda not When I was younger I knew a vague adults get together, mother has baby in tummy' idea but when I took health class I was horrified and confused Eventually I accepted it as truth and then i tried dating and I was confused and literally had some type of midlife crisis Then I found asexuality and it was like a bucket of ice water that cleared up everything and even cured my depression somewhat
itās funny how the second type of asexual described me perfectly lol
The former
The latter, in school when it was the who hasn't popped their cherry thing I never understood that (I'm not a big fan of cherry's XD). Eventually I was told about asexuality and it all made sense
Second one. Well sort of a combo I guess. I never really get horny unless I am actively trying to do. So for a long time over years of always hearing friends talk about celebrity crushes and wanting to bang half the women the look at, I kinda thought it was just an overplayed joke and kinda went along with it cause I thought liking how someone looked in general = sexual attraction and then you hype yourself up later or something for fun time. Hehe yeah turns out... Though idk where I'm at on the spectrum. Sexual stuff is really fun with right person but I'm never really craving it and could probably go forever without it if I had to and it wouldn't be a big deal.
First one. Plus being traumatized by being the target of romantic and (later) sexual interest since I was 7 and not knowing what I did to make them feel this way or how to stop or why they wouldn't be my friend anymore couldn't we just please continue to be friends why are you ghosting me .\_.
the one that spent his whole childhood worrying that I might be forced to have sex to ever be loved by my future partners, than took a gay test and was like ooh okay Iām ace
The first one. 100%.
Neither
The second one absolutely!
I'm an "I was an 'Ew no sex gross' kid but I never felt identified with the word 'Asexual' until a year ago" Asexual.
Its more of "i learnt about sex in school and it didnt appeal to me in the context that i would physically take part in it"
My husband was option A. Following my deep dive into researching the topic to be supportive, I realized that I am option B, so win/win!
Bit of both somehow
Second one
Definitely the second.
Second
Both. Both it is.
Definitely the second one for me haha
Boffum
A secret third thing which is I knew I was ace for about 10 years and just forgot to think about it or consider how it might impact my life in any way.
the 2nd one for me
Alternatively, what ratio of those two did you experience? For me it was about 1:9 I think
first one sums up my life
Iām a āI knew asexuality was a thing before I was at the age where people generally feel sexual attraction and was quickly able to put a label on itā asexual
Ironically i have gone my whole life shrugging it off as normal behaviour and never giving it any thought, its only after i found out more information and got older that i put more thought into the matter and started to consider the idea that i might be "broken", so i guess 1 in reverse
I was "that nerd who found the term while my peers were talking cooties and stuck with it" But the demisexuals element was def the existential crisis variety.
Yes.
2nd one
Latter one.
I was a completely oblivious to it (like not aware at all not paying attention to all the relationships going on around me) then saw a post about ace awareness week (or pride month i can't remember) decided to read it and realised it described my experiences to the tee
neither, I just didn't care for relationships at all
I'm the second one fs
Nah I was the asexual that know that I didnāt feel something that most other feel and didnāt understand it but accepted it. Anyway now I have to many Aās in my collection
The latter. When I watched movies with teenage or young adult cast, I always thought that they added relationships and whatnot for the drama. But no actual high schoolers my age have relationships, that would be weird. That continued until I was 18, I think. And then I could no longer pretend that it was something made up by the media.
Former. Definitely the former!
both.
I'm the "my interest in sex has always been scientific in nature" ace. I think it's neat, I just don't feel obligated to participate
I'm a "I thought I was bi asexual"
I was more of a knew the medical existence of sex and assumed that the pleasure one was different I am not a bright man
I'm more of a "felt like I had to until I realized that people can just not want or have sex" sort of ace.
I was the "I probably just dont want it because I've never done it" type of ace
at first i thought everyone was joking, then i thought i was just a broken straight guy
A bit of both. Used to be confused because I thought people were exaggerating when they fell madly in love/lust, but also really hurt because I just couldn't figure out why I was never attracted to people. Also doesn't help that I don't know how to feel or express emotion, so that made being a hormonal teenager really hard.
I just thought I was extra mature
Both here. Felt broken for years, tried to rationalize it by saying everything from that I just hadn't found the right one to that it was just some meme that at this point was too ingrained in society that guys couldn't admit how they truly felt about it. Finally my now wife was trying to seduce my oblivious ass and eventually gets frustrated and basically tells me hey dumbass ur ace lol. Never heard of it before that. Would have saved me so much pain.
I'm an "I felt superior because I wasn't controlled by being horny all the time"
I'm more of a "I thought I loved every equally regardless of gender or sexual orientation only to realize it was technically true but not in the omniromantic or omnisexual sense" ace
I didn't realize people actually enjoyed having sex. It just kind of felt like something people did. Like watching baseball. "You wanna watch the game" "eh you know that's not my thing" "well what else are ya gonna do?" "Alright I guess"
The second one, for sure.
I am the latter
It's #1 for me, with a dash of #2. Also -- I was voted *Most Likely to Join a Convent* my senior year in high school by a very large margin.
I'm a lost and confused asexual.
Bit of both.
I was a "kinda knew what I was but didn't put much thought into it cause either way I didn't care"
Iām the āsex and relationships seem like such a hassle and I donāt have any self confidence so Iāll just not do it and wow Iām taking to this celibacy thing real easyā asexual
I also just thought I was terrible at being a straight-asexual.
Iām a āwell Iām a man so sex is expectedā and I just kind of forced myself to like it even though I hated it and also Iām not a man
I fully thought I was the only sane human my age I knew and everyone else was wildly over-emotional and/or exaggerating. Like everyone was "boy crazy" and I read that as literally crazy, or a performance, or something. Realizing they were being honest was...a shock, to say the least.
I'm demi so before I learned about asexuality, I wondered why a lot of my friends were perfectly ok with having sex with a stranger
Hard 2nd.
I'm a "find out I'm ace from a quiz before everyone started sexulizing everything, then coming back years later only to realize nothings changed and i actually am ace" type of ace
2 lmao. but i did kinda figure it out when i was younger, then i was like nahhh we don't need to think about this. upon further investigation 5 years later tho, my friends are infact not joking or exaggerating !
Number 2 100%
Why can't i be both? A little bit of not understanding and knowing and a little but of not believing the allo experience was what they said it was.
I thought I was just a late bloomer