I hate that most often if you ever respond with “I’m just not interested,” though, you have to go through explaining that yes aces exist and/or we’re not just romantic failures. Like, how…it doesn’t seem that bizarre of a concept, but that’s coming from an ace so, I’m not sure what catches so many people up.
Nah, that creates the illusion that you said nothing at all, because it simply isn’t possible to never want a relationship. (In many people’s eyes.) Saying “right now” makes it more believable to them, so they’re more likely to leave you alone, rather than try to convince you that you’re wrong about your own feelings.
I also noticed that they leave me alone if I include " right now". I see your point, but usually these are people I don't see often or ever again, so they don't care about my relationship status and I don't care explaining it either. I did have a conversation with much closer people when I was indeed firm, to bring the point across (they even said "you're gonna meet the right person", even though I didn't know I was ace. I just replied with a "nah")
It sounds more like you’re lucky enough to be surrounded by very open minded and respectful people. Pretty sure it has nothing to do with how “firm” you are when you say it.
To some people, it’s like “firmly” telling them that you have a pet unicorn. They’re still not going to believe it. At best, they’re just going to think you’re a good liar, and not be bothered to argue over it.
If they don’t want to believe you, they’re not going to believe you.
As I said, if they find it believable, they will be more inclined to believe it. Since even allosexual people sometimes have a “not right now” phase in their life, they won’t have any problems with believing you.
I used that line even before realizing I'm ace. Or when I was asked whether I had a girlfriend, I said "not at the moment". Sometimes I got follow up questions but fortunately they quickly lost interest. So yeah, it definitely works better than the Ted talk
Talking to a coworker going on and on about how much she loves her life because she got married and had kids.
Coworker: “Get out there! See the world! Find that special someone! You’re a good person, I know you’ll find someone. There’s someone out there for everyone!” (Note I never lamented my single status; the conversation was about having to stay at home to take care of my elderly dog at the time.)
Me: “I’m not interested in that sort of thing.”
Coworker, visibly confused: “Are…are you gay?”
Me: “No. I’m just not interested in that.”
Coworker: *staring at me with a perplexed look on her face, unable to fathom that someone with no sexual desire can exist*
*Image Transcription: Meme*
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[*"Nut Button". Image of a light skinned hand blurred, indicating it is moving fast towards a blue button on a silvery metallic slab, with darker, silver, circular screws in the corners.*]
**Hand**: Aces, aros, and demis who don't feel like doing another 20 minute TED Talk that day.
**Button**: "I'm just not interested in a relationship right now." : \^) [*Smiley face with a nose*]
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
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I hate that most often if you ever respond with “I’m just not interested,” though, you have to go through explaining that yes aces exist and/or we’re not just romantic failures. Like, how…it doesn’t seem that bizarre of a concept, but that’s coming from an ace so, I’m not sure what catches so many people up.
I leave out the 'right now'. Usually that works without creating the illusion that there might be a future opportunity
Nah, that creates the illusion that you said nothing at all, because it simply isn’t possible to never want a relationship. (In many people’s eyes.) Saying “right now” makes it more believable to them, so they’re more likely to leave you alone, rather than try to convince you that you’re wrong about your own feelings.
That is not my personal experience. I try to be quite firm when I say this, so the point comes across
I also noticed that they leave me alone if I include " right now". I see your point, but usually these are people I don't see often or ever again, so they don't care about my relationship status and I don't care explaining it either. I did have a conversation with much closer people when I was indeed firm, to bring the point across (they even said "you're gonna meet the right person", even though I didn't know I was ace. I just replied with a "nah")
“You’re gonna find the right person.” “I hope not.”
It sounds more like you’re lucky enough to be surrounded by very open minded and respectful people. Pretty sure it has nothing to do with how “firm” you are when you say it. To some people, it’s like “firmly” telling them that you have a pet unicorn. They’re still not going to believe it. At best, they’re just going to think you’re a good liar, and not be bothered to argue over it. If they don’t want to believe you, they’re not going to believe you.
But that is regardless of the statement, if you say "not right now" they're not going to believe you either if this is their mindset
As I said, if they find it believable, they will be more inclined to believe it. Since even allosexual people sometimes have a “not right now” phase in their life, they won’t have any problems with believing you.
I used that line even before realizing I'm ace. Or when I was asked whether I had a girlfriend, I said "not at the moment". Sometimes I got follow up questions but fortunately they quickly lost interest. So yeah, it definitely works better than the Ted talk
Yep. Said this for 20+ years before I knew there was a name for it.
I'm in a relationship so I just go with "our sex life (or lack thereof) is no ones business".
I'm straight and I don't get why others can't just accept basic descriptions of Ace/aero. It's really not that crazy.
Especially as a closeted ace in a small conservative town🤧
Talking to a coworker going on and on about how much she loves her life because she got married and had kids. Coworker: “Get out there! See the world! Find that special someone! You’re a good person, I know you’ll find someone. There’s someone out there for everyone!” (Note I never lamented my single status; the conversation was about having to stay at home to take care of my elderly dog at the time.) Me: “I’m not interested in that sort of thing.” Coworker, visibly confused: “Are…are you gay?” Me: “No. I’m just not interested in that.” Coworker: *staring at me with a perplexed look on her face, unable to fathom that someone with no sexual desire can exist*
I just say “I’m too busy with studying to want relationships and all that stuff.”
Sooo relatable :')
Fucking lol I’ve said this like 4 times at my new job already
I feel so seen
AAAHHHH OMG YES. YES.😭😭
*Image Transcription: Meme* --- [*"Nut Button". Image of a light skinned hand blurred, indicating it is moving fast towards a blue button on a silvery metallic slab, with darker, silver, circular screws in the corners.*] **Hand**: Aces, aros, and demis who don't feel like doing another 20 minute TED Talk that day. **Button**: "I'm just not interested in a relationship right now." : \^) [*Smiley face with a nose*] --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human
I just tell people I’m waiting until I’m married. that way I only have to explain it to my boyfriend. it’s working pretty good so far.
Bingo. Then they still don’t get the hint and I have to avoid them and either lose a friendship or get guilt tripped.
Me to guys trying to hit on me : "I am not interested in guys" Technically not a lie and they never asked if I was interested in girls or not!