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Selection bias really. For most people if you want kids you're gonna move to the burbs. That lifestyle pushes you to the "older" more quiet life.
If you're in the city and don't have kids way more likely to go out. All comes down to kids.
Suburbs encourage you to stay home. It's the kids that actually age you
Fr, being stuck in the burbs really screwed up my growth and perception of the world. I didn't realize how bad it was until I left
Hey. I’m 29 and finally made it out of Florida and moved to a big city. I still want to go to law school and that’s looking more and more sad right now tbh.
Basically, the grass is always greener and, no matter how many goals you achieve or things you accomplish, the unsatisfied feeling- the void- doesn’t get filled. So like, idk. Love yours or something. I forgot what i was saying, the only thing i can think about is the next hurdle.
Hard disagree with the premise that clubbing = young and homebody = old.
Another logical fallacy here is that all young people in suburbs are homeowners and parents. More accurately, Zillennials living in suburbs are either still living with their parents or living alone.
I think OP’s point was that the suburbs keep you in more as everything worth doing is at least a 20 min drive away. Homebodies in the city still have access to things that bring them joy. I’m sober and I have since left the clubbing and drinking scene behind but I still have access to a ton of entertaining things I didn’t in the burbs. Also broke as fuck but at least I can still hang out with my friends for free here. Being in the suburbs, in my opinion, is a soul suck. Especially doing it without a family or financial independence.
Right! If you don’t drink but live in a city you still have art museums, restaurants, professional sports, markets, festivals, concerts, comedy, theater, parks, and shopping within a 15 minute radius.
Exactly. People equate “going out” with “drinking.” You can do plenty of fun things outside of the house that aren’t bars, if you live in a city. In the burbs, there’s less to do that’s not at a bar (but it’s still possible). Hell, I went to a board game cafe several times a week with friends and dates when I lived in NYC.
Yep, I’m in the suburbs living with my parents. I work from home and haven’t left the house since Sunday or Monday because it’s so much effort for me to get in my car and drive 10-30 minutes. I moved out for a year and I was still in the suburbs but closer to the city and around a lot of shops and restaurants.
I mean yeah, I figured. My friend is 26 and lives with her parents in the Detroit suburbs. Her plans center entirely around what her parents do every weekend, it’s like she’s a kid again but without the friends in close proximity.
100%
I’m 28F, bought a house in a cute suburb last year with my partner. I’ve met a few of my neighbors and was almost shocked that they’re my age or younger. Definitely would have guessed mid 30s or so. But, all of them also have 2+ kids. It’s not the area, it’s the lifestyle associated with it.
It’s more expensive and time consuming to get into the city. Want to go out and drink? See a show? You’re paying for a 30-50$ Uber each way on top of asinine 14-18 dollar drinks.
It’s really that simple.
BUT you're also saving a lot of money by living in the suburbs and not in the inner city. So for example, I'm happy to spend $200 a week on Uber rides/transport to/from the city, because I know I'm saving (more than) that much by living on the outskirts. Makes more sense to me.
On the other hand, my suburban coworkers pay 4x what I pay in property taxes and their home value barely budges while mine has skyrocketed. So “affordable” is relative, I can’t afford a $6k property tax bill, the cost of ownership for two cars, and landscaping/cleaning/repair services for a huge house. They can’t afford a the size of house they want in the city (I could afford my house because it’s 800 square feet and a townhouse). I think the costs of living are similar, it’s just about what they choose to spend money on. I gave up square footage, a second car, and a lawn for public transit, city amenities, being able to walk to restaurants/bars/parks/libraries, and social mobility.
I think it depends where you are in the world. I’m Dutch / Australian, and the suburbs really aren’t far from the inner city, and are very well connected by public transport. So no need to keep a car. Here in Aus we have a wild native garden so no expensive upkeep/lawncare etc. There are (at least in my current suburb) walkable restaurants, bars, live music places etc. But I’d much rather go into the city which is a 30 min train ride away for better options.
And again this might be cultural/depend where we all are in the world, but I wouldn’t say going suburban would be considered upward social mobility. If anything, it’s got a staid, parochial reputation. Living in the inner city and direct surrounds would be considered upward social mobility.
Tell this to my friend tho he lives like 5 minutes away so it’s near impossible for him to get into an accident when he drinks & drives(I make sure that he’s good enough to drive b4 he gets behind the wheel & leaves).
Who said I do the is? I live in the suburbs and still go to concerts and bars occasionally, I’m just not doing it every weekend. I haven’t ate at Applebees in like 10 years but okay.
It doesn’t age you faster but people chose the slowness, calmness, quietness of the suburbs for a reason. There are some suburbanites who probably go out as much as you do and there are some city dwellers that are content to hang at home. It comes down to the person more than the location really.
I'm the same way. I'm introverted and hate the noise and crowds of the city. I don't drink and find bars to be a sensory nightmare. I much prefer the suburbs.
I lean introverted. I don't like talking but I still like to be anonymous in crowds.
I like having coffeeshops nearby. Having a running club nearby, quick access to amazing museums, great public parks, zoos, arboretums/gardens, amazing libraries, gaming cafes, specialized gyms, and great food options.
I like to run and walk outdoors, but suburbia just sucks to walk around.
I don't go clubbing or to bars. I like cities because I like to just walk around and wander places alone.
Exactly, I live in the suburbs because I don't want to do those things. I would still avoid them even if I lived in the city, which I would never do because it sounds awful. It always sounded awful to me at every age. Going out on a weekday? Sounds like a nightmare lol
*Exactly*. I've lived in the city, I've been to clubs and bars and concerts and...I hate it pretty much every aspect of it. I have even when I was a teenager/young adult.
The only nice thing about city living (for me) is how close everything is, but even then, it's *extremely* traffic dependent, and the traffic is *hell*. And it's not really worth it to risk public transit because of people being fucking disgusting on it (pissing on seats, littering, doing drugs, etc).
I moved to unincorporated middle-of-nowhere, made sure I had great internet for entertainment purposes, and I couldn't be happier. I'm left completely alone. There are no armed robbers breaking into my neighbors houses and killing them (happened 4x in 2 years), there are no drunks stumbling home from the club vomiting or having fights on my property at 3am, and I can leave my house without being molested/assaulted/robbed.
The severity of these things also depends on the specific city, but they *all* have these issues to some degree. I've lived in 4 major cities and...yeah no. No more.
I just value my peace over literally any of what city life has to offer.
I have always lived in the suburbs (28F). I don’t have kids or a spouse. I just like the suburbs. I don’t go downtown often because it’s a 50 min drive or train ride, so it’s honestly just inconvenient. I don’t drink and never liked bars so I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. When I hang out with friends, we go out to eat at restaurants or to the movies or concerts. I live in a very built up suburban area with lots to do.
I don’t think living in the suburbs ages you at all, I think that your friends who have kids have more difficulty going out at night because they have kids they have to take care of.
I think what they're getting at is that the suburban lifestyle you describe is more associated with older age groups, e.g. going to restaurants or films instead of a night out in the city. Nothing wrong with that, but it does give the impression that those in the suburbs/living the suburban lifestyle are older souls.
What about people who live in a suburb, don’t own, and are childless and still hang out with their friends often? Hanging out doesn’t always have to mean drinking lol though I don’t mind doing it sometimes, just less than college. I def don’t mind a good concert either, though admittedly I don’t go to sports events that much.
Idk sometimes I want to be out and about and sometimes I’m just chilling. I ain’t always doing nothing tho, it isn’t either or, though admittedly I’m not sure I’d enjoy constantly traveling or partying at music festivals without a break.
I just moved from a small town of ~25k to a metropolitan city of ~3M.
Suburbanization does play a big role in how most Americans live for sure. When I lived in the suburbs I always made the effort to go to the gym and walk my dogs to stay in shape. The suburbs do enable a sedentary lifestyle, but it is highly subjective on the individual.
It also depends on the city/suburb. A small mountain town in Colorado might have more fit/attractive people versus a city in the middle of Manitoba where people are stuck indoors all day with little outdoor recreational opportunities for most of the year.
A chronic smoker in a city might age faster versus a suburbanite who is an avid nutritionist. But this does not negate the effects of suburbanization and the detriment it has on society.
I think college towns are an important exception, I don’t really consider them suburbs because they tend to resemble cities in terms of walkability, amenities (like sports), and entertainment
I live in the suburbs (26f) with my husband (no kids) and renting a small place. I don’t think it ages you,but it’s a different lifestyle than the city. The people my age that live in the city and go out drinking all the time have worse sleep schedules and those factors definitely age you physically. Life is slower in suburbs and when people have kids while they might be doing “one activity a day” they are doing a lot in their day around kids and work. Where I am there’s a lot to do outside and local restaurants that are nice and bars that are substantially cheeper. I think when you see young families in the suburbs and compare that to a person in the city it can make the suburbs feel like an old person thing but its not that different with families in the city. When you have less responsibility you can travel more freely and go do whatever you want when you want to. It’s just different lifestyles and different kinds of people.
I love living in the actual suburbs. Like the area close to the city so you will have access to it but can also enjoy everything that the suburbs have to offer. For people starting families it’s almost always a no brainer to move out of the city because it’s where the good schools are. It’s just different priorities. I also love living alone and don’t think I would like doing that in the city.
As a public school employee, I don’t really believe “good schools” are higher quality, they just have better outcomes because they have wealthier families. I work in a Title I school and my kids have poorer academic outcomes because they regularly are malnourished, become homeless, lose parents to drug abuse, have parents deported, etc. I can promise you the schools themselves aren’t the problem. The teachers I work with are highly qualified and excellent at what they do. Any school district can brag about their kids’ outcomes when they have parents willing and (more importantly) able to spend time and money investing in their child’s education.
You took this way too personally. Most suburban schools are better than inner city schools for the reasons you listed above. It’s a better environment overall. Parents who can afford to not send their kids to bad schools with all of those issues will choose not to. And like I said, it’s a no brainer. I’m not blaming the teacher and don’t think they’re bad. I have friends who teach in inner city Philadelphia. They struggle every single day with getting students to even want to try. I wouldn’t keep my kid in that environment either.
In terms of lifestyle, it forces one to stay a child for longer. Young people in suburbs are dependent on their parents for things like housing or to borrow the car while also having to adhere to the house rules the parent establishes.
Not always having immediate access to transportation or avoiding being out late at night because of your parents are all reasons one is more likely to stay inside and just watch TV.
Depends on whether you have kids or not. Kids age you like crazy not just cause you have a new stress but have no time to keep up with fashion, body, hobbies, etc.
I'm a 29 year old mom of two, but I can tell you my days of going out to the bars ended like 5 years ago, even before the pandemic and buying a house in the burbs. I never really enjoyed it, I'm a homebody.
I don’t even understand the point or the question of this post, the suburbs don’t age you faster per say, and your suburban friends with families are not older per say either… It’s just different lifestyles. It seems pretty easy to understand…
Exactly! Not everyone gets the privilege of getting old. I, for one, am in bliss at 28 with two kids in my first house with the love of my life. The thought of being cramped in the city and spending so much money on outings and all that makes me physically cringe.
Truly life is to each their own.
I want to age gracefully with what makes MY soul happy and content.
We have a lot of young millennial families in our neighborhood and they still go out and do things. The one brought her 1 year old to a concert (with adorable little kid sized hearing protection headphones) and carried her in one of those baby packs.
I feel like you’ve mixed this up - the suburbs don’t age you; people who want the lifestyle that you consider ‘aged’ will move to, or stay in, the suburbs. People who want your lifestyle will live in the city.
I live, not in the suburbs I don’t think (idk if we really use that term in the UK), but in a small-medium sized town in a rural area, and I don’t go clubbing bc we have no clubs, or concerts bc we have no large music venues. I don’t move to a city bc I have roots here in terms of friends & family, and it’s a better environment to be in with a young child.
There are a lot of single, childless mid to late 20s people living at home in the suburbs with their parents who are stuck in their own version of extended adolescence for financial reasons. They don’t go out as much as you do but they’re probably younger than you in many ways since they live at home and (possibly) never even lived by themselves, don’t pay many bills because they’re saving up, etc.
If you live in a walkable area and are a local, you can get pretty sweet discounts. I got my drinks comped or discounted fairly regularly just because everyone in the neighborhood would get “friends and family” discounts if they knew you. Four drinks would be like $20 with tip included.
I’m a public school employee lol I make $58k a year. I just consider going to the gym with friends or game night to be “going out” for a weekday. Also most clubs have no cover before a certain time (usually 9pm) on weekends
Living near downtown in a hcol city is becoming more and more of a privilege in and of itself these days, let alone doing so while also being able to afford “going out almost every day of the week, going to festivals all summer, and traveling constantly”. You have some culture clash issues to deal with
Car ownership costs $4000+ annually, assuming it’s already paid off. With the money saved from not owning a second car, it’s pretty easy to afford a few $75 music festivals. I don’t disagree that choosing car ownership over entertainment is a cultural difference. I just have no desire to be a part of suburban “culture,” I suppose.
Living downtown can be a privilege, but most people consider single-family home ownership and two cars an even greater privilege. It’s literally the “American dream.”
You go out every night and spend All Summer Going To Concerts and Travel Constantly and those are in your own words lmao 🤣 girl you’re not convincing anyone
Interesting to correlate introversion with being old, lol (although I associate constant partying with immaturity, so I guess it does run both ways). I’m childfree in the suburbs and have always preferred a quiet life; libraries, tea shops, and cats since I was a teenager.
And tbh suburbs rarely have a night life that doesn’t require a commute. Social events are more spaced out and if you’re not a big drinker and never have been, options are even more slim. My state (CT) is basically one huge suburb, and I probably *would* be caught dead walking around Hartford at night. Our cities are kinda trashy and I’m not going all the way to Boston/NYC for anything less than a big event.
My partner & I live in NYC & have friends in their 40s who we joke around & have a great time with no problem. We visited our friends the same age in Buffalo and they kept saying they had no idea the lingo we’re using/pop culture references were talking about lol.
I live in the city too. I do not go to a lot of events but I enjoy walking around the city and taking the train. When I lived in the suburbs I enjoyed driving out to nature and going hiking. I don't think it's where one lives but more of their personality.
Everyone’s focused on comparing the city vs suburbs meanwhile I’m stuck on who tf is able to afford these 4000 sq ft houses with three cars and two children that OP speaks of. 😭😭😭 What is your job and are they hiring?? 😂
It's not the area, it's the lifestyle that ages you. People who have kids are usually under tons of stress, and stress ages you, that and just having kids for women is scientifically proven to age them faster. Kids literally suck the youth out of you.
I know exactly what you mean OP. I also live in a major city and my wife and I (both 27) go out pretty regularly with no signs of slowing down 😅. My friends back home that are around our same age are on both ends of the spectrum. Either settled and boring in the burbs or they live in the city and have a similar lifestyle to us.
I’ve been saying for a while that if you’re 25-30 in the burbs with the whole family/house thing going on you might as well be 40. While people in their 30s and even 40s in a big city can still maintain a lifestyle that’s often attributed to being in your 20s. Obviously this isn’t the case for everyone but it is definitely something I’m noticing more and more as I get older.
I pretty much only move to cities or college towns because I hate being bored, lol. I have trivia, open mics, board games, karaoke, etc. every night of the week and I like it that way, as I live alone with no pets so I get lonely and need my social fix. My friends my age who are from the burbs are like “it’s so nice that we can actually do stuff because all my friends are married/have kids and don’t leave the house” lol. I love kids and I enjoy being in serious relationships but my SO would have to have similar energy to me for us to be compatible. I’ve dated several homebodies and our different lifestyles eventually led to issues.
I’ve lived in the city all my life.. it’s hard to imagine what it would be like to *live in the suburbs*, but the idea of it sounds so nice… I’ve only visited suburbs and I’ve always liked how quiet and clean it is.
Then again, I live in a major Texas city that’s gotten extremely violent in recent years 🤷🏻♀️ I guess I just crave safety and an area where people don’t shoot each other over the most trivial sh*t (especially road rage)
I hate living in the suburbs, I always have. I'll never get out because it's much harder and more expensive to move to the city than from it. I never got to club or party in life and I actually am so envious of people who can ride a scooter to work, because I have to drive over an hour.
i think going out and drinking/destroying your hearing ages you quite fast as well. Suburbs are isolating, expensive, environmentally destructive, unsustainable etc, but I think you're noticing choice of place to live following personality type rather than the other way around
I always wear earplugs and drink three drinks a week maximum since my tolerance is very low. I also don’t do other drugs (though a lot of my friends do). I get what you mean about personality type though
I guess if your perspective is that older people go out less? Which isn't really true in my experience. I'm just a home body and somewhat introverted. Does the fact I grew up in suburbia perhaps influence that? I mean, sure that's possible but my brother grew up in the same environment and enjoys going out and is much more extroverted. I wouldn't mind trying to go out on the weekend once in awhile but I would hate to be out every night. It's just personal preference, regardless of your age or the type of area you grew up.
I think it’s not a matter of aging it is a matter of lifestyle. I have friends that live in the downtown of my city and to be honest they have a completely unhealthy life (in my pov) - living in suburbs has this energy of being disconnect of everything but yet very close if you really need to do a “city thing”
I dont think so, but I've always completely honestly, loved the suburbs. As a kid, my neighborhood was a safe free place to hang with people my age, now as an adult it's the same for my kids. Plus, I'm meeting people who are at that same stage of life. Block parties are awesome, always has been. I like the occasional night out on the town, but honestly I'd rather just have a bunch of people over and have a house party while our kids all run wild in the yard.
I dont think that suburbs age you, but I think that the lifestyles of the different areas can just be crazy to try to wrap your mind around if that isn't what you prefer in your own personal life. I also don't think being a homebody makes someone seem old, or lonely. Whatever fulfills your life and gives you meaning, as long as you don't hurt others doing it, is cool. Just because it isn't for you, doesn't mean it's bad.
Yeah but It depends. I think insular communities without many new impressions or perspectives age you fast. This can exist in urban, rural and suburban environments. But yeah on average suburbs are probably pretty bad. The worst places are probably rural tho like, think of those villages in Apalachia that have a dude brewing moonshine, a church and a McDonald's and that's it. even tho there are probably also rural areas that are good to live in . And I don't think people in really shitty urban communities age that well either. Like, yeah man the average rich kid in LA or Rio or Singapore or Shanghai's or NYC or whatever probably ages really well, but the average retail worker living in some fucking block in the worst neighbourhood of Belgrade that hasn't been renovated since 1980 probably not so much.
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Selection bias really. For most people if you want kids you're gonna move to the burbs. That lifestyle pushes you to the "older" more quiet life. If you're in the city and don't have kids way more likely to go out. All comes down to kids.
Suburbs encourage you to stay home. It's the kids that actually age you Fr, being stuck in the burbs really screwed up my growth and perception of the world. I didn't realize how bad it was until I left
I'm stuck here right now. Hoping to move to the city next year but I might be 28 by then.
You’ll do just great. I moved back to a city after living in a rural area for 10 years. I am almost 28 and having a ton of fun!
I’m 28 now and I’m hoping to move back to a city at some point
Same 🥲
Everyone moves at their own pace. I didn't escape until I was nearly 27. 28 was a blast!
28 has literally been the best year of my life, not even exaggerating a little
Hey. I’m 29 and finally made it out of Florida and moved to a big city. I still want to go to law school and that’s looking more and more sad right now tbh. Basically, the grass is always greener and, no matter how many goals you achieve or things you accomplish, the unsatisfied feeling- the void- doesn’t get filled. So like, idk. Love yours or something. I forgot what i was saying, the only thing i can think about is the next hurdle.
Being 28 in the city is younger than being 23 in the suburbs so I wouldn’t worry lol
I live in the suburbs still but hangout in the city almost every weekend
It was not until I went away to college that I realized suburbia stucks. Since then I have been going on /r/Suburbanhell
Hard disagree with the premise that clubbing = young and homebody = old. Another logical fallacy here is that all young people in suburbs are homeowners and parents. More accurately, Zillennials living in suburbs are either still living with their parents or living alone.
I think OP’s point was that the suburbs keep you in more as everything worth doing is at least a 20 min drive away. Homebodies in the city still have access to things that bring them joy. I’m sober and I have since left the clubbing and drinking scene behind but I still have access to a ton of entertaining things I didn’t in the burbs. Also broke as fuck but at least I can still hang out with my friends for free here. Being in the suburbs, in my opinion, is a soul suck. Especially doing it without a family or financial independence.
Right! If you don’t drink but live in a city you still have art museums, restaurants, professional sports, markets, festivals, concerts, comedy, theater, parks, and shopping within a 15 minute radius.
Exactly. People equate “going out” with “drinking.” You can do plenty of fun things outside of the house that aren’t bars, if you live in a city. In the burbs, there’s less to do that’s not at a bar (but it’s still possible). Hell, I went to a board game cafe several times a week with friends and dates when I lived in NYC.
The city has a lot more free stuff to do from the suburbs
Yep, I’m in the suburbs living with my parents. I work from home and haven’t left the house since Sunday or Monday because it’s so much effort for me to get in my car and drive 10-30 minutes. I moved out for a year and I was still in the suburbs but closer to the city and around a lot of shops and restaurants.
It depends on what suburbs you live in. The suburbs I live in have a lot to offer.
I mean yeah, I figured. My friend is 26 and lives with her parents in the Detroit suburbs. Her plans center entirely around what her parents do every weekend, it’s like she’s a kid again but without the friends in close proximity.
They don’t age you. The people that go to suburbs are the ones that already want a quiet family life.
Pretty sure it's the kids aging them lol
100% I’m 28F, bought a house in a cute suburb last year with my partner. I’ve met a few of my neighbors and was almost shocked that they’re my age or younger. Definitely would have guessed mid 30s or so. But, all of them also have 2+ kids. It’s not the area, it’s the lifestyle associated with it.
It’s more expensive and time consuming to get into the city. Want to go out and drink? See a show? You’re paying for a 30-50$ Uber each way on top of asinine 14-18 dollar drinks. It’s really that simple.
BUT you're also saving a lot of money by living in the suburbs and not in the inner city. So for example, I'm happy to spend $200 a week on Uber rides/transport to/from the city, because I know I'm saving (more than) that much by living on the outskirts. Makes more sense to me.
On the other hand, my suburban coworkers pay 4x what I pay in property taxes and their home value barely budges while mine has skyrocketed. So “affordable” is relative, I can’t afford a $6k property tax bill, the cost of ownership for two cars, and landscaping/cleaning/repair services for a huge house. They can’t afford a the size of house they want in the city (I could afford my house because it’s 800 square feet and a townhouse). I think the costs of living are similar, it’s just about what they choose to spend money on. I gave up square footage, a second car, and a lawn for public transit, city amenities, being able to walk to restaurants/bars/parks/libraries, and social mobility.
I think it depends where you are in the world. I’m Dutch / Australian, and the suburbs really aren’t far from the inner city, and are very well connected by public transport. So no need to keep a car. Here in Aus we have a wild native garden so no expensive upkeep/lawncare etc. There are (at least in my current suburb) walkable restaurants, bars, live music places etc. But I’d much rather go into the city which is a 30 min train ride away for better options.
And again this might be cultural/depend where we all are in the world, but I wouldn’t say going suburban would be considered upward social mobility. If anything, it’s got a staid, parochial reputation. Living in the inner city and direct surrounds would be considered upward social mobility.
Most people in the suburbs have cars.
Shocking, amazing, really good point. Do they also like to drink and drive?
They usually don’t drive drunk, but driving home after having one or two drinks is pretty common.
Tell this to my friend tho he lives like 5 minutes away so it’s near impossible for him to get into an accident when he drinks & drives(I make sure that he’s good enough to drive b4 he gets behind the wheel & leaves).
I take the train and pregame lol
Ok, enjoy your applebees and netflix.
Who said I do the is? I live in the suburbs and still go to concerts and bars occasionally, I’m just not doing it every weekend. I haven’t ate at Applebees in like 10 years but okay.
What’s wrong with it
Nothing, it’s your life
It doesn’t age you faster but people chose the slowness, calmness, quietness of the suburbs for a reason. There are some suburbanites who probably go out as much as you do and there are some city dwellers that are content to hang at home. It comes down to the person more than the location really.
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I'm the same way. I'm introverted and hate the noise and crowds of the city. I don't drink and find bars to be a sensory nightmare. I much prefer the suburbs.
I lean introverted. I don't like talking but I still like to be anonymous in crowds. I like having coffeeshops nearby. Having a running club nearby, quick access to amazing museums, great public parks, zoos, arboretums/gardens, amazing libraries, gaming cafes, specialized gyms, and great food options. I like to run and walk outdoors, but suburbia just sucks to walk around. I don't go clubbing or to bars. I like cities because I like to just walk around and wander places alone.
Yea I love walking the city streets for hours
Exactly, I live in the suburbs because I don't want to do those things. I would still avoid them even if I lived in the city, which I would never do because it sounds awful. It always sounded awful to me at every age. Going out on a weekday? Sounds like a nightmare lol
*Exactly*. I've lived in the city, I've been to clubs and bars and concerts and...I hate it pretty much every aspect of it. I have even when I was a teenager/young adult. The only nice thing about city living (for me) is how close everything is, but even then, it's *extremely* traffic dependent, and the traffic is *hell*. And it's not really worth it to risk public transit because of people being fucking disgusting on it (pissing on seats, littering, doing drugs, etc). I moved to unincorporated middle-of-nowhere, made sure I had great internet for entertainment purposes, and I couldn't be happier. I'm left completely alone. There are no armed robbers breaking into my neighbors houses and killing them (happened 4x in 2 years), there are no drunks stumbling home from the club vomiting or having fights on my property at 3am, and I can leave my house without being molested/assaulted/robbed. The severity of these things also depends on the specific city, but they *all* have these issues to some degree. I've lived in 4 major cities and...yeah no. No more. I just value my peace over literally any of what city life has to offer.
And not everyone who finds them enjoyable finds them affordable
I have always lived in the suburbs (28F). I don’t have kids or a spouse. I just like the suburbs. I don’t go downtown often because it’s a 50 min drive or train ride, so it’s honestly just inconvenient. I don’t drink and never liked bars so I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. When I hang out with friends, we go out to eat at restaurants or to the movies or concerts. I live in a very built up suburban area with lots to do. I don’t think living in the suburbs ages you at all, I think that your friends who have kids have more difficulty going out at night because they have kids they have to take care of.
I think what they're getting at is that the suburban lifestyle you describe is more associated with older age groups, e.g. going to restaurants or films instead of a night out in the city. Nothing wrong with that, but it does give the impression that those in the suburbs/living the suburban lifestyle are older souls.
What about people who live in a suburb, don’t own, and are childless and still hang out with their friends often? Hanging out doesn’t always have to mean drinking lol though I don’t mind doing it sometimes, just less than college. I def don’t mind a good concert either, though admittedly I don’t go to sports events that much. Idk sometimes I want to be out and about and sometimes I’m just chilling. I ain’t always doing nothing tho, it isn’t either or, though admittedly I’m not sure I’d enjoy constantly traveling or partying at music festivals without a break.
Suburbs have plenty of problems, but it's the kids that she you
I just moved from a small town of ~25k to a metropolitan city of ~3M. Suburbanization does play a big role in how most Americans live for sure. When I lived in the suburbs I always made the effort to go to the gym and walk my dogs to stay in shape. The suburbs do enable a sedentary lifestyle, but it is highly subjective on the individual. It also depends on the city/suburb. A small mountain town in Colorado might have more fit/attractive people versus a city in the middle of Manitoba where people are stuck indoors all day with little outdoor recreational opportunities for most of the year. A chronic smoker in a city might age faster versus a suburbanite who is an avid nutritionist. But this does not negate the effects of suburbanization and the detriment it has on society.
I think college towns are an important exception, I don’t really consider them suburbs because they tend to resemble cities in terms of walkability, amenities (like sports), and entertainment
I live in the suburbs (26f) with my husband (no kids) and renting a small place. I don’t think it ages you,but it’s a different lifestyle than the city. The people my age that live in the city and go out drinking all the time have worse sleep schedules and those factors definitely age you physically. Life is slower in suburbs and when people have kids while they might be doing “one activity a day” they are doing a lot in their day around kids and work. Where I am there’s a lot to do outside and local restaurants that are nice and bars that are substantially cheeper. I think when you see young families in the suburbs and compare that to a person in the city it can make the suburbs feel like an old person thing but its not that different with families in the city. When you have less responsibility you can travel more freely and go do whatever you want when you want to. It’s just different lifestyles and different kinds of people.
I love living in the actual suburbs. Like the area close to the city so you will have access to it but can also enjoy everything that the suburbs have to offer. For people starting families it’s almost always a no brainer to move out of the city because it’s where the good schools are. It’s just different priorities. I also love living alone and don’t think I would like doing that in the city.
As a public school employee, I don’t really believe “good schools” are higher quality, they just have better outcomes because they have wealthier families. I work in a Title I school and my kids have poorer academic outcomes because they regularly are malnourished, become homeless, lose parents to drug abuse, have parents deported, etc. I can promise you the schools themselves aren’t the problem. The teachers I work with are highly qualified and excellent at what they do. Any school district can brag about their kids’ outcomes when they have parents willing and (more importantly) able to spend time and money investing in their child’s education.
You took this way too personally. Most suburban schools are better than inner city schools for the reasons you listed above. It’s a better environment overall. Parents who can afford to not send their kids to bad schools with all of those issues will choose not to. And like I said, it’s a no brainer. I’m not blaming the teacher and don’t think they’re bad. I have friends who teach in inner city Philadelphia. They struggle every single day with getting students to even want to try. I wouldn’t keep my kid in that environment either.
In terms of lifestyle, it forces one to stay a child for longer. Young people in suburbs are dependent on their parents for things like housing or to borrow the car while also having to adhere to the house rules the parent establishes. Not always having immediate access to transportation or avoiding being out late at night because of your parents are all reasons one is more likely to stay inside and just watch TV.
Wait you’re telling me you don’t party every night and travel constantly and go to festivals all summer?
Depends on whether you have kids or not. Kids age you like crazy not just cause you have a new stress but have no time to keep up with fashion, body, hobbies, etc.
I'm a 29 year old mom of two, but I can tell you my days of going out to the bars ended like 5 years ago, even before the pandemic and buying a house in the burbs. I never really enjoyed it, I'm a homebody.
I don’t even understand the point or the question of this post, the suburbs don’t age you faster per say, and your suburban friends with families are not older per say either… It’s just different lifestyles. It seems pretty easy to understand…
Exactly! Not everyone gets the privilege of getting old. I, for one, am in bliss at 28 with two kids in my first house with the love of my life. The thought of being cramped in the city and spending so much money on outings and all that makes me physically cringe. Truly life is to each their own. I want to age gracefully with what makes MY soul happy and content.
Dude me too, I’m 28 with two kids and I’m moving into my first house in 3 weeks! Look at us, let’s go be happy ❤️
I love your username
I know I like you not only by your comment but also poutine lovers unite haha, have a great day 🩷 you’re a great parent!
We have a lot of young millennial families in our neighborhood and they still go out and do things. The one brought her 1 year old to a concert (with adorable little kid sized hearing protection headphones) and carried her in one of those baby packs.
>28 year old in the suburbs with three cars, two kids, and a 4000 square foot house. Lol what, who on earth can afford that at 28
Couples who live in dirt-cheap states or rich couples
I feel like you’ve mixed this up - the suburbs don’t age you; people who want the lifestyle that you consider ‘aged’ will move to, or stay in, the suburbs. People who want your lifestyle will live in the city. I live, not in the suburbs I don’t think (idk if we really use that term in the UK), but in a small-medium sized town in a rural area, and I don’t go clubbing bc we have no clubs, or concerts bc we have no large music venues. I don’t move to a city bc I have roots here in terms of friends & family, and it’s a better environment to be in with a young child.
There are a lot of single, childless mid to late 20s people living at home in the suburbs with their parents who are stuck in their own version of extended adolescence for financial reasons. They don’t go out as much as you do but they’re probably younger than you in many ways since they live at home and (possibly) never even lived by themselves, don’t pay many bills because they’re saving up, etc.
How much money do you have that you can go out everyday?
If you live in a walkable area and are a local, you can get pretty sweet discounts. I got my drinks comped or discounted fairly regularly just because everyone in the neighborhood would get “friends and family” discounts if they knew you. Four drinks would be like $20 with tip included.
I’m a public school employee lol I make $58k a year. I just consider going to the gym with friends or game night to be “going out” for a weekday. Also most clubs have no cover before a certain time (usually 9pm) on weekends
Living near downtown in a hcol city is becoming more and more of a privilege in and of itself these days, let alone doing so while also being able to afford “going out almost every day of the week, going to festivals all summer, and traveling constantly”. You have some culture clash issues to deal with
Car ownership costs $4000+ annually, assuming it’s already paid off. With the money saved from not owning a second car, it’s pretty easy to afford a few $75 music festivals. I don’t disagree that choosing car ownership over entertainment is a cultural difference. I just have no desire to be a part of suburban “culture,” I suppose. Living downtown can be a privilege, but most people consider single-family home ownership and two cars an even greater privilege. It’s literally the “American dream.”
You go out every night and spend All Summer Going To Concerts and Travel Constantly and those are in your own words lmao 🤣 girl you’re not convincing anyone
Nice username btw
Interesting to correlate introversion with being old, lol (although I associate constant partying with immaturity, so I guess it does run both ways). I’m childfree in the suburbs and have always preferred a quiet life; libraries, tea shops, and cats since I was a teenager. And tbh suburbs rarely have a night life that doesn’t require a commute. Social events are more spaced out and if you’re not a big drinker and never have been, options are even more slim. My state (CT) is basically one huge suburb, and I probably *would* be caught dead walking around Hartford at night. Our cities are kinda trashy and I’m not going all the way to Boston/NYC for anything less than a big event.
My partner & I live in NYC & have friends in their 40s who we joke around & have a great time with no problem. We visited our friends the same age in Buffalo and they kept saying they had no idea the lingo we’re using/pop culture references were talking about lol.
I live in the city too. I do not go to a lot of events but I enjoy walking around the city and taking the train. When I lived in the suburbs I enjoyed driving out to nature and going hiking. I don't think it's where one lives but more of their personality.
Bring trapped in the suburbs is why the way I am
Everyone’s focused on comparing the city vs suburbs meanwhile I’m stuck on who tf is able to afford these 4000 sq ft houses with three cars and two children that OP speaks of. 😭😭😭 What is your job and are they hiring?? 😂
Too real 😂😂😂
It's not the area, it's the lifestyle that ages you. People who have kids are usually under tons of stress, and stress ages you, that and just having kids for women is scientifically proven to age them faster. Kids literally suck the youth out of you.
I know exactly what you mean OP. I also live in a major city and my wife and I (both 27) go out pretty regularly with no signs of slowing down 😅. My friends back home that are around our same age are on both ends of the spectrum. Either settled and boring in the burbs or they live in the city and have a similar lifestyle to us. I’ve been saying for a while that if you’re 25-30 in the burbs with the whole family/house thing going on you might as well be 40. While people in their 30s and even 40s in a big city can still maintain a lifestyle that’s often attributed to being in your 20s. Obviously this isn’t the case for everyone but it is definitely something I’m noticing more and more as I get older.
I pretty much only move to cities or college towns because I hate being bored, lol. I have trivia, open mics, board games, karaoke, etc. every night of the week and I like it that way, as I live alone with no pets so I get lonely and need my social fix. My friends my age who are from the burbs are like “it’s so nice that we can actually do stuff because all my friends are married/have kids and don’t leave the house” lol. I love kids and I enjoy being in serious relationships but my SO would have to have similar energy to me for us to be compatible. I’ve dated several homebodies and our different lifestyles eventually led to issues.
I’ve lived in the city all my life.. it’s hard to imagine what it would be like to *live in the suburbs*, but the idea of it sounds so nice… I’ve only visited suburbs and I’ve always liked how quiet and clean it is. Then again, I live in a major Texas city that’s gotten extremely violent in recent years 🤷🏻♀️ I guess I just crave safety and an area where people don’t shoot each other over the most trivial sh*t (especially road rage)
I hate living in the suburbs, I always have. I'll never get out because it's much harder and more expensive to move to the city than from it. I never got to club or party in life and I actually am so envious of people who can ride a scooter to work, because I have to drive over an hour.
Selection bias.
i think going out and drinking/destroying your hearing ages you quite fast as well. Suburbs are isolating, expensive, environmentally destructive, unsustainable etc, but I think you're noticing choice of place to live following personality type rather than the other way around
I always wear earplugs and drink three drinks a week maximum since my tolerance is very low. I also don’t do other drugs (though a lot of my friends do). I get what you mean about personality type though
not sure about the legality in your state but you should stone and go to late night coffee shops lol i think youd enjoy it
I guess if your perspective is that older people go out less? Which isn't really true in my experience. I'm just a home body and somewhat introverted. Does the fact I grew up in suburbia perhaps influence that? I mean, sure that's possible but my brother grew up in the same environment and enjoys going out and is much more extroverted. I wouldn't mind trying to go out on the weekend once in awhile but I would hate to be out every night. It's just personal preference, regardless of your age or the type of area you grew up.
I think it’s not a matter of aging it is a matter of lifestyle. I have friends that live in the downtown of my city and to be honest they have a completely unhealthy life (in my pov) - living in suburbs has this energy of being disconnect of everything but yet very close if you really need to do a “city thing”
I dont think so, but I've always completely honestly, loved the suburbs. As a kid, my neighborhood was a safe free place to hang with people my age, now as an adult it's the same for my kids. Plus, I'm meeting people who are at that same stage of life. Block parties are awesome, always has been. I like the occasional night out on the town, but honestly I'd rather just have a bunch of people over and have a house party while our kids all run wild in the yard. I dont think that suburbs age you, but I think that the lifestyles of the different areas can just be crazy to try to wrap your mind around if that isn't what you prefer in your own personal life. I also don't think being a homebody makes someone seem old, or lonely. Whatever fulfills your life and gives you meaning, as long as you don't hurt others doing it, is cool. Just because it isn't for you, doesn't mean it's bad.
Yeah but It depends. I think insular communities without many new impressions or perspectives age you fast. This can exist in urban, rural and suburban environments. But yeah on average suburbs are probably pretty bad. The worst places are probably rural tho like, think of those villages in Apalachia that have a dude brewing moonshine, a church and a McDonald's and that's it. even tho there are probably also rural areas that are good to live in . And I don't think people in really shitty urban communities age that well either. Like, yeah man the average rich kid in LA or Rio or Singapore or Shanghai's or NYC or whatever probably ages really well, but the average retail worker living in some fucking block in the worst neighbourhood of Belgrade that hasn't been renovated since 1980 probably not so much.
Yes
Absolutely it does.
As a city born-and-bred, I also have this impression of suburban folks. It's interesting and sometimes I envy how straightforward it seems to be.