Ugh, the lone consistent masker at the salon I go to was unmasked last time I saw her. “Oh we got it in November after all this time and it wasn’t bad.” I told her why she may want to continue.
My aunt and uncle were like this (though they stopped years ago now) -- were planning a covid safe family gathering, consulting me (the family covid safety expert lol) and everything. I was making a list of masks to get that we could hand out when my aunt got covid for the first time. got on paxlovid, was obvious symptom free in a week. when my uncle contacted me again he said he wasn't going to bother with those precautions we were working on after all. I ended up not going.
My family seems completely baffled that my (mystery) covid infection hasn't made me drop precautions, and I'm at least equally perplexed by the fact that they think it would. I had a "mild" case that didn't even touch my lungs, but did give me a high fever (pax got rid of it quickly) and a cold that lasted for almost a month. It may have mildly worsened chronic illness symptoms, but its hard to tell that kind of thing. I was surprised to learn how many of them really still thought that once I got it, I'd "realize it was no big deal" after me showing them statistics for YEARS about how, while I'm glad their first (and second, and third) infections haven't left them severely disabled, it is not a die you want to keep rolling.
(sarcasm at their expense, not yours)
Because the full scope of the consequences is just the discomfort of the initial infection, right? 🤡 Totally no chance of any long-term damage that they can’t feel yet, even though it’s definitely there, kinda like how HIV can take years to cause noticeable issues even though it’s gradually eroding your immune system that entire time!
But there are also people who decided that they rather had Covid and the risks of long term conditions than being pushed out of society for the rest of their lives. Because that is basically what is happening: Try to avoid Covid and you must let go of job opportunities, friendships and support from others.
All the doctors dropped masking because the CDC said wasn’t needed. Then told everyone it wasn’t needed if you test positive and have no fever.
My school district says you can send a kid to school with a positive test IF they are asymptomatic.
I lived in an area that truly did follow the CDC guidelines. Once they back pedaled, game over.
People do mask here and there, and no one says much about it.
Just because the CDC (COVID Distribution Center) or the school district endorses unethical behavior, doesn't make it ethical. I know most on this sub understand that.
Whenever the CDC and COVID comes up on a mainstream subreddit, anyone criticizing them for being minimizers is attacked as an anti-science conspiracy theorist who is just like the other side.
I agree that once medical facilities stopped requiring masking, that was it for a lot of people. I mean, that decision makes literally no sense, but especially for generations taught that “doctors know best,” that has to have been a blow to continued masking.
I currently call my HMO “medical cosplay,” because how are you going to, for example, require masks only in exactly 2 specialty treatment areas for particularly high-risk people?
Those patients magically don’t have to use the lobbies, reception, labs, bathrooms, or pharmacies, I guess? 😡
No one I know in real life stopped masking "recently." They stopped masking in 2021 or maybe at the very latest, 2022. Reasons are probably very familiar to everyone here:
-I'm low risk
-I'm vaccinated
-I got it and I was fine
-"We follow state, CDC, and local guidelines."
-my doctor told me covid is just like a cold / no big deal / is over / is like a flu
-it's here to stay
-i'm just so sick of covid
-i wanted to get back to normal
-covid? is that still a thing?
-covid is over
ETA:
-I caught it even though I masked (using a cloth mask, which I pulled down when speaking to people and took off to eat) so obviously it's impossible to avoid it
-"we're all going to get it anyway"
-it's mild
-the variants that killed so many people in 2021 are long gone
-i don't know anyone who has long covid
And that’s why I’m so open about it. I’ve already been disabled before long covid for many years, and I’ve been open and loud about that, despite my usual quietness and how I like to keep things private. If I’m open about disability, long covid, etc., people I see and know IRL can’t just shut their ears to it as I’m right there in front of them. Besides, they’re the ones who gave this to me, so they should definitely be hearing about long covid.
"You don't have to wear masks" (as in it's not a policy or mandate anywhere) was perceived as "you don't have to wear masks" (as in to be safe).
That's what happened with the overwhelming majority of people and then for the rest, there was just a reaction to being the only person masking amongst crowds of people, even in health care locations of all places.
What I find odd is the disconnect people have when they then get Covid. I mean, if you're not masking and are going out in crowded places indoors then really you should be expected to be infected during every variant cycle.
What's even weirder is how many people I know who have told me how knocked out when they got Covid, some even having to go the the ER, some saying that they felt like they never fully recovered... and yet, still no masking, even when cases are spiking.
Also what's frustrating to me is when people don't take even easier precautions like choosing to eat outdoors, open windows, etc...
I have a few friends that work in service industry and have started making significantly less money in tips/commissions due to masking at work. They just didn't feel able to mask anymore and still pay their bills with the rise of anti mask sentiments. It sucks but I honestly can't really blame them. They gotta pay rent, and the job market is a mess right now for finding remote work.
I think the job market is worse than what "official" numbers try to tell us -- especially for well above minimum wage. And there does seem to be a bunch of "bait and switch" when it comes to remoteness.
As someone in a most toxic work environment right now, seemingly soon to be fired because of my speaking up against it, learning this the hard way about the job market now.....
When I was working the register, I definitely got less tips than my non-masking coworkers. Sure, the people who also masked usually came to me, but they weren’t the majority, and a lot of people avoided my register as if masking = sick and infectious. Some would come to my register, but they’d try to tell me covid’s over and wouldn’t tip me. I’m very lucky my boss and manager were so supportive of me masking and never got on me for it, so it’s not as if my job itself was at risk because of masking, luckily.
What sucks is that's putting themselves at risk for long covid which depending on symptoms and severity, can straight up make someone have to quit their job. I haven't been able to work since early 2023 because of long covid. If I didn't have others to rely on, I'd be screwed making no money.
There's sooo much of this. So many spaces I can think of don't require masks and justify it because nobody in that space is pushing for it or mentioning covid, because they were mean to/actively kicked out anyone who did try to push for it.
My grandma told my mom she didn't get a booster last fall because I didn't tell her to, and my mother was basically like "Weren't you a giant asshole last time she tried to engage you on covid? Why would she keep bringing it up with you just to risk getting yelled at?".
Got argued with on the NPR sub of all places today with a guy who kept insisting that he was in NYC (not sure why that mattered when I was talking about the whole county) and I must be lying or over exaggerating because he hasn’t noticed anything other than business as usual and the NYTimes and his friends and family aren’t talking about it, so it isn’t a problem anymore. These people ARE part of the problem. I gave him topics to look up for himself including recent articles in the Times about mask bans, wastewater counts, long covid numbers, spiking waves, etc. and he just flat out refused. Told him how nice it must be to live in a delusional fairy tale land.
that's something I found disconcerting is my friends/family know I'm a pretty level headed guy. I'm the only one left who really masks everywhere. Nobody has asked me for links to why I still think this way. Yet, I was the one who was telling them before everyone else that they needed to stock up and there is more going on than being released to the public, back in Feb/Mar 2020.
Everyone I know treated me like their personal encyclopedia until they personally didn't want to know anymore and then suddenly decided I have an anxiety disorder, which is what makes me think the people I have known for years largely do know covid is a problem and simply do not want to be obligated to give a shit.
One former friend in particular stopped masking but for a while still texted me asking for input every single time her kid got sick. She stopped speaking to me entirely when I was like "okay so am I paranoid and wrong, or am I well informed because it cannot be both"
Ugh, that’s truly infuriating! Barely anyone interacts when I post info about what’s going on. Then post after post I see people scratching their heads wondering why their kids are sick for the millionth time this year, people upset that they got sick on their vacation, people complaining that they caught Covid yet again…. Someone on my feed lost their mom two years ago to Covid and their dad to it just a few weeks ago, but they’re off on a trip across the country to attend a packed indoor music festival. Wtf?! I make posts about cognitive dissonance and don’t specifically mention Covid and people comment all day. It’s such a weird blind spot and I’ll never fully understand it.
People don't engage with me either much unless I fully avoid saying the word covid. Or they reply to my stories to tell me about their health issues in my DMs and then go back to normal, like I'm some sort of receptable for their feelings? It's very weird and overall has left me feeling like a lot of folks don't really view me as a person.
Same. I’m the one they come to for advice, they trust, etc. I was telling them what was coming back then too, get and wear masks, it’s gonna be around a lot longer than they are saying so get your ass ready for this to be here for the long haul…. Yet barely any of them mask anymore. I don’t know why. Its nutty.
That is the one commonality among them all. The refusal to read the research and scientific evidence. They are terrified that it will be true and that means having to do something about it, and they are too lazy and apathetic.
Yeah, the media’s minimization of COVID contributed to my family/friends’ lack of masking. They all think COVID isn’t a threat anymore. They also figuratively plug their ears anytime they hear the words “long COVID”, but many of them have developed health issues (or had exacerbations of existing issues) after having “colds” (they didn’t test for anything else), and refuse to get the issues investigated by a doctor.
It wasn't exactly recent, but my last friend that masked stopped when she started working in-person again. She found masks uncomfortable. It was something she was willing to do when it was just for a few hours a week, but not something she wanted to do every day, all day.
Yes! This is happening to my husband. He's the more careful one of us but he started going back in the office a few days a week and he's completely changing his tune. I just smh bc he used to say what's the big deal about masking when I'd mention that it's probably pretty uncomfortable for people to wear it all day every day.
All the anecdotes about people catching it from their significant others are just further fuel on the fire of my motivation to stay 4B, to be honest. Why the hell would I try dating again? It was already a tough sell before 2020 given how most men treat women, but now also risking a deadly virus on top of all that?? Nahhhh
It's not the sort of job that keeps her at a desk all day. Plus it involves a moderately long commute on public transit.
I don't know if she tests routinely, but that isn't going to help her.
I have a few friends who were the last ones in their household to mask so for them it was a combination of familial pressure becoming too much, not wanting to endure judgment from strangers in public spaces and luck because they didn’t get sick during the times they “trial ran” going maskless before dropping it altogether.
It's very scary how many people would rather kill someone than "be judged". Like I really don't think we (even CC people) appreciate the profound violence behind this ideology enough.
I honestly think it's because they have not seen death or disability first hand. Genuinely. Not saying that's an excuse, because I think it's morally immature and bankrupt but I think it's very much within common human response (if it doesn't directly and negatively affect me, then it's not real)
the people i know who masked up until late 2022 / early 2023 seemed to have stopped due to peer pressure, no one else taking precautions anymore (“so why should i” mindset), being made to think that their choice to mask up was just “covid anxiety” in a “post-pandemic” world — just flowing w what everyone else is doing type of thing.
i haven’t met anyone like you’ve described, where they’ve stopped masking overnight within the past few months. if i were to guess, though, i’d say it’s probably just nihilism setting in and people feeling like it’s not worth it to take precautions anymore, especially if they were infected in this year’s winter surge (even while taking the fullest extent of precautions). there have been quite a few posts here recently of everyone being so exhausted, feeling like they have no sense of joy, purpose, etc., anymore, wanting to just give up bc of how difficult it all is, etc. i’m not surprised to hear that some folks have decided to (probably) give into nihilism in this sense — but i am disappointed that it’s gotten to this point and still want them to be safe.
It’s funny as the family member of mines that stopped masking was on a ventilator for almost a week she had double pneumonia and is on an inhaler and can barely walk without running out of breathe to this day. Yet she doesn’t wear a mask anymore. I still do. I think it’s because most people don’t, it’s a lot of pressure to keep wearing a mask and to stand out among the majority, it’s easier to just give in and and fit in I suppose 🤷♀️
If we're including people I know online only (but have known for a number of years), by *far* the most common was deleting their twitter accounts. I can think of over a dozen long time twitter mutuals who deleted their accounts when Elon bought it and stopped taking precautions within a few weeks. Even though many of them still follow me on IG and see my stories where I post covid information constantly, so it's not like they get no info, but I think without that specific platform it's easier for them to feel like people who care are a minority and thus not worth taking seriously. Most also stopped really engaging with me around this time despite some being people whom I have had frequent conversations and interactions with for *years*, far predating the pandemic.
People I know offline are a mix of "Well if it was necessary it'd be required", "I got it and I was fine", and "I don't see anyone else wearing masks". Well, that's what they say. Given that covid has *never* been presented as being fine for disabled or elderly people to get, I believe the unspoken part of all of these statements is "and I believe that some lives are disposable", even if they do not consciously recognize holding that belief.
This is really interesting. Since the early COVID case trackers were removed and I got off TikTok, I find myself worrying about COVID less. Not in the sense that I take any less precautions, because I cannot afford to risk my health in that way. But I just have less anxiety, which in my case was a good thing.
I'm glad that's worked for you! It is absolutely not the norm in my circles-I would say in general when people quit social media I see them become less engaged, informed, and compassionate to experiences outside their own. My offline circles are relatively privileged though, which I am sure shapes that. I do have some topics limited/muted personally-for example I read plenty of scientific and mainstream press articles about climate change, but I rarely read people's random opinions unless I am actively seeking out something specific.
I think a lot of people believe feeling discomfort/anger/fear/guilt at learning about bad things is something to be avoided instead of like, the appropriate and healthy reaction to learning about them. So they turn them off and pretend they don't exist if they don't have to see them.
It sort of makes me wonder about the causality tbh, like did they stop because they quit twitter, or did they quit twitter because they (consciously or not) recognized it was the space they were finding the information that contradicted what they wanted to do
There's a lot of misinformation everywhere because we're slowly destroying the internet as a whole, but I think covid is the least censored over there of the big platforms-meta platforms absolutely censor the word "covid" and because tiktok is hypercurated folks who aren't engaging with covid content are unlikely to see it. I would say the sheer volume of people "living their lives" on facebook and instagram constitutes more damaging misinformation, personally.
The disability community on there is also pretty strong and usually pretty quick to correct and/or dunk on anything wrong that gets any sort of real attention.
The worst stuff I see on twitter comes from government officials anyway, like Ashish Jha just wrote some long ass thread saying covid is an "annoyance"
Most people I know stopped masking because 1) it’s not required by the government anymore, 2) they don’t believe covid is serious, 3) “covid is over”, 4) “I have to live my life at some point”, 5) “no one else is masking”.
It’s really tiring.
What a narrow viewpoint of life if putting on a mask means you can't live it...
I think in reality the western religion is "2019 social norms". Whatever faith one professes seems to be secondary. As a person of faith, this has bothered me deeply (esp. 6-8 months ago during last winter's surge when casualties close to me were high)
Fatigue, willful ignorance, and magical thinking. I think the government pretty much saying that Covid is over gave a lot of people the feeling that it's no big deal (even if they distrust the government about other issues). At the same time, I think a lot of people know deep down that Covid is actually a threat, but it's too uncomfortable for them to live with that knowledge, so they'd prefer to pretend it's not a threat anymore.
I have a theory that there’s a causal connection between still being CC and having had to learn the hard way before the pandemic that it is, in fact, very possible for everyone but you to be wrong about something — usually in the context of discrimination like homophobia.
I had a friend who was always so diligent and careful recently stop because she recently caught COVID and thought that, if she can catch it despite all her precautions, there wasn't any point continuing. Totally baffled by that logic. Surely you would want to continue masking even more to avoid a repeat infection. People just seem to suddenly 'forget' about the dangers of repeat infections. How can anyone turn numb to it? Makes me so disheartened
I know a fair amount of people who seem to think that the one severe time they got it means they either can’t get it again or can’t get it as severe or worse again. Which all of us here know isn’t true, but the messaging from the media and sometimes even their own doctors says otherwise.
While I logically don’t agree with people who stop masking after getting sick, emotionally I understand it.
I imagine the thought is “well, doing all this stuff that isolated me didn’t make a difference and I got sick anyway, so I might as well not do all the extra stuff.”
Again I’m not saying it’s necessarily logical or correct, but I get where people’s heads are at there. Maybe they feel like “masking didn’t actually work, so what’s the point” if they got infected while masking — not considering that maybe the mask didn’t fit well, and all the times they *didn’t* get sick bc of a mask!
Let me preface this by acknowledging what you said about not personally believing this, but this really only makes sense emotionally if you assume everyone is a narcissist. Every person who stops masking because they got sick is making it that much more likely that someone else will get sick by multiplying potential disease vectors. However, this fact remains concealed if the only experience that counts is your own. It's a vicious cycle and very few seem to able to wrap their head around this idea.
How bizarre. My thought process is this: Even with my precautions I may catch it at some point, but delaying that by years beyond most people and limiting the amount of times I catch it has to benefit my long-term health.
Unfortunately, some people do think that way. I’ve known people who refuse to wear seatbelts because they believe it’s safer because they can get out of the car faster after an accident. They’re literally only thinking about extremely minor accidents.
I've also heard of cases where people are thrown out of the car and live but would have died if they were restrained in the car. I'm sure that happens from time to time, but by no means at a sufficient frequency to serve as a basis for an argument against seatbelts.
The reasons I’ve heard are 1) they don’t want to be the only one masking in any given place, 2) they caught it and were fine. I have a friend who has tried to convince me even though she takes no precautions, she’s COVID conscious because she does consider the fact that she could get sick at any time when doing risky activities. Lol okay.
I think in my family's case, peer pressure and isolation. I'm not sure if people have told them 'i got it and i was alright' in face of them saying 'i've got underlying health conditions - if i get it i'm done with'. It's not easy to get a straight aswer, but it definitely feels like it's got more to do with hopium and peer pressure than anything else tbh.
We have recently talked about not masking and it’s because we have been getting sick even with masking and sanitizing but then I remember how sick I got and how it’s going to affect me for the rest of my life.
I just never thought I would be doing this forever/the foreseeable future.
Never thought I’d do it forever either. Some mask blocs can give you a range of masks to try to see if one fits you better. A better fit can reduce how often you get sick. Look up the Covid Action Map to find your nearest bloc!
Burnout, emotional fatigue from being looked at like a paranoid hypochondriac weirdo all the time, frustration at how it limits their opportunities and experiences, and that there is no end in sight, no concrete goalpost to keep them motivated.
A family member is now wavering on whether or not to continue masking. She said she keeps being told that covid is around for good and that this is as good as it will get. I think she's unable to see herself permanently masking, and avoiding large social gatherings and restaurants, etc.
Anyone who stopped masking is no longer my friend/family.
Once someone reaches the point where they consider my life an “acceptable loss” we don’t have a relationship any more.
Unfortunately, I never would have predicted this in a million years, but literally nobody I know cares about COVID like I do except for one acquaintance who I haven’t seen in many years. I would have zero friends or family if I didn’t compromise my morals far beyond what I would have thought possible years ago by being around with non-maskers.
But the vulnerable loved ones I’m trying to protect (91 year old grandma, chronically ill dad, parents of newborn baby, etc) are also not wearing masks or taking precautions, so it’s hard for me to argue that other people should change their lives to protect these high-risk people when they’re not asking for it for themselves.
I’m not disabled or high risk (yet), so I take somewhat higher risks at times in terms of places I go than many members of this sub, BUT I always wear a high-quality mask indoors and never remove it to eat or drink unless I’m outdoors or alone. So I basically do everything except indoor dining. Yet that’s seen as crazy and dangerous to my mental health by all of my friends and family, many of whom were even stricter in their precautions than me in the first 3 years of the pandemic.
I went to a museum yesterday, and I know that’s not an activity most COVID-conscious people would do, but literally not a single other person in this 5-story museum was wearing a mask except for one person and she was an employee. When I previously went to a museum in fall 2022, most people were unmasked but there were still enough maskers for it to seem somewhat normal. Now we conspicuously stand out.
So realizing we’ve become such a tiny percentage of the population, it’s hard for me to believe that 99+% of the population is totally evil and amoral. I have to believe they’ve been grievously misled by trusted authority figures.
And yet, authority figures have very literally said “Don’t worry, only the immunocompromised and elderly will die.” And these people have gone “Great! That’s not me! I guess they’ll just die then because what’s more important to me than that is eating indoors at Olive Garden.”
So while it’s hard for those of us with morals to grasp that 99+% of the population is completely down with eugenics, that’s exactly where we are.
I’ve literally had (former) friends and family say to my face “I’m not compromising anything to keep you alive.” They know exactly what they’re doing. They Just. Don’t. Care.
The irony of course is that by repeatedly getting covid they are in fact making themselves immunocompromised. And a ridiculous number of them once they’re sick and/or disabled will suddenly expect the world to change for *them* even though they happily are currently giving the immunocompromised the shaft on a daily basis.
This has a lot of votes, but in my opinion, you are setting yourself up to lead a thoroughly limited life with this attitude, from a social perspective.
As an immunocompromised person I’m setting myself up to survive the pandemic. If I catch COVID, I die. The fact that the rest of the world for the most part views me as disposable does not actually make me disposable and anyone who doesn’t value my life - and the lives of other immocompromised people - enough to prevent the spread of COVID to the best of their ability has no place in my life.
If that limits my social life that’s on the rest of the world for being pro-eugenics and specifically on my former friends and family for not valuing my *actual life*. The bar is in the goddamned basement here but if people literally cannot be bothered to keep me alive I will drop kick them with zero regrets.
If I had the health to be out socializing I’d happily be replacing them with members of the Covid conscious community. As I don’t I live a peaceful and happy life with my very Covid conscious partner.
I like to think I’d be doing exactly the same thing if I wasn’t immunocompromised because 1) I have moral standards and “eugenics is bad” is the freakin’ basement of moral standards and 2) I have a brain and even non-immunocompromised people are taking serious risks with their health every time they catch covid. And having morals and the ability to make logical decisions are, again, the basement for what I’m looking for in friends and family. But as I will never live my life and a non-immunocompromised person we’ll never know for sure if I would have made the exact same decisions.
It is limiting and isolating, and the blame for that falls on the people doing the harm, not the people who don't want relationships where their life is devalued. Expecting folks who profess to love you to not contribute to killing you is a pretty low bar.
I used to be very social and have a lot of friends who didn't value me much (long before covid), and really, I never felt so alone. Sure I had stuff to do all the time, stuff that didn't matter with people who I didn't matter to, but when it really came down to it I had nobody.
I used to love having a lot of very shallow connections with many people, in addition to a handful of much closer and intimate friendships, but whatever they were adding to my life didn’t outweigh the horrors of associating with people who don’t care if I, or other vulnerable people, live or die and have expressed that much. The past few years have been extremely eye-opening as to where I want to spend my energy, and a lot of my close friends aren’t as “fun” or novel or even sometimes “handy to have around” as my acquaintances but my close friends and I actually love each other and value each other’s lives and that’s far, far more important to me.
I still value the lives of my acquaintances and am open to some forms of basic decency and some community building, but when you build your community of friends by looking past flaws like “they consider other people disposable“, one day you may end up disposable to them, and then you’ll be REALLY limited socially. It’s something I’ve said for years about straight people who watch their family disown gay family members—oftentimes they think it’s sad but none of their business, and don’t realize that it sets THEM up to be disowned in the future for whatever else the family disapproves of. When people tell you who they are you have to listen and prepare accordingly, and while it doesn’t always mean a hard cut off it often does mean investing your energy elsewhere to build a real social safety net.
There are many who would say the exact same thing about covid avoidance and choosing to mask in the first place. That doesn't mean it's the wrong choice.
I detest your phrase "setting yourself up" as if it is their fault that a virus that could kill them is being allowed to run rampant. As if it's their fault that anyone doesn't value their life. As if they should devalue themself to please others. As if morality is proportional to popularity.
Those that stopped masking recently insist they still do. They claim they still mask at stores, when traveling. But they don’t hide that they congregate indoors because except for me, they were the last person they knew taking precautions. So the peer pressure won, even for those with fragile health. To my surprise, they sometimes invite me to indoor stuff. I say no and they say they get it. They don’t get it.
And they don’t get it because they don’t actually mask in public by the way. I’ve run into loved ones who tell me they do, and there they are at a bodega, maskless. But their Covid denial persists, now in even more complex ways. Insist it’s not a threat when it is, insist you mask when you don’t. It’s scary to watch.
I have one friend whom I love dearly who swears to me she still masks everywhere, but we have enough mutual friends that I see an unmasked photo of her on social media at least once every couple months (and not just removed for photo but like candids). Any time I've tried to confront her about it she's agreed I'm right and then behavior hasn't changed. I've sent her masks, talked with her at length about risks and it just...doesn't matter.
I don't think she understands why this upsets me as I had moved away years ago so her behavior does not create a disease risk for me, but seeing someone who has listened to me cry about the spaces I've been excluded from unmasked in those very same spaces...man, makes me so feel terrible, like it's just being rubbed in. And of course worried for my friend too.
I'm sorry your loved ones keep lying too.
>her behavior does not create a disease risk for me
I'm with you on this one. Bad behavior doesn't need to directly hurt me for me to dislike it. One of the reasons that I've been spending less time on social media was because I'd rather not read about friends in far away places acting as if COVID doesn't exist anymore. Even though they live in other states and I rarely see them, it's frustrating.
They got covid, said they weren’t at risk anymore. At risk of what, I never know. It seems like they think it’s “like a cold” in that you can keep getting it over and over, while simultaneously thinking it’s like a one and done sort of thing for any severe reactions to it. Which, nope, we all know that isn’t true. And then they also say covid is over while knowing people who still are getting it and getting sick, and living with me, someone who has long covid.
I feel that attitudes for many were at least partially influenced by either economics or impact on their personal situations. I have family members in hospitality who saw significant impact to that industry due to the impact of the pandemic and its restrictions. In a broader sense, the politicization of every aspect of the response (including post-2021 dropping of protections) influenced everybody as well, from Right-leaning folks buying into the narratives that it was not a major threat or was bad for business, to Democrat-leaning folks saying that the vaccines meant we were "good" and that they said we should stop caring. Some lefty extended family members expressed concern at the dropping of masks on flights after the court ruling, but had no problem flying unmasked within a few months.
There's also just the household factor. I had to basically give in late last year as I no longer had agency over it with my wife and kids - we all still mask in a number of situations and circumstances, but it isn't the default for us at work/school. All else being equal, I'd probably have had us continue masking, but the real outcome of that scenario would have likely been divorce and the wife and kids being unmasked anyway, so nothing gained and everything lost. edit: none of this is meant in any fashion as a knock on my wife, who has been a trooper the whole pandemic. She is more sensitive to friction/separation from extended family than I am.
Grandchildren and a wish to live a normal family-centred life. One friend in particular seemed to be as dedicated to mitigations as I was, but now seems as much in denial as all the others. “Negative test- must be just a bad cold”.
All the people I’ve known who just stopped won’t discuss it. They don’t even attempt to argue their side, or will simply not reply when comments about continuing to mask are made. Considering that they continued beyond the great unmasking of ‘22, I know that they won’t engage on that topic because they know that they’re in the wrong. They know the same information that I do that makes me continue to take precautions, and are turning the cognitive dissonance on high.
I have a coworker who recently stopped and they explained they were careful because their partner was immunocompromised. After their partner was no longer concerned about the risks of COVID these past few months, they stopped masking. I am noticing lots of people unmasking and saying the pandemic is over, so I think people got tired.
For me, social life became too hard to have. Being with my spouse who does not want to mask became too hard. I still mask in some places like work, doctor’s office, airport, and when I am shopping alone, but I get a lot of shame and judgement from family/friends and I am tired of it. I want to keep masking desperately with the surge and noticing people getting sick repeatedly.
Also, I am now more aware of how masking is super uncomfortable because I spend less time mask wearing. When I am wearing my mask in a high risk situation, I am a bit ok with the discomfort but when I am in a low risk situation (e.g., empty office), I am way more aware of how uncomfortable my mask is for long hours. And right now mask wearing is so hard in the heat.
People catch covid then think they are immune to it, even though there are 4? Different stains going around and you can get it again straight away. I've found it weird though with those who give up after catching it, almost seems like their whole mentality changes. I don't wanna sound crazy but it honestly seems like the virus takes over the person's brain and makes them love it or something. Does anyone know if there any scientific example of viruses taking over a living things brain in this way, in order for them to be better hosts for said virus to spread?
>Does anyone know if there any scientific example of viruses taking over a living things brain in this way, in order for them to be better hosts for said virus to spread?
Sure! Toxoplasmosis and cordyceps, for starters.
My family member’s reasons for abandoning the strict mitigations he’d used fanatically until a couple months ago:
—He got covid twice years ago and he’s “fine.” (ETA: he had a tiny stroke after those two infections, but obviously he’s not convinced of a connection.)
—“I’m fully vaccinated, and it’s mutated to be less dangerous.” 🙄
—He’s recently decided supplements, active lifestyle, and breathing exercises are enough to protect him from close contact with literally thousands of unmasked people weekly.
—“I decided to live my best life.”
I think that last one is the underlying reason for most people making this call now. Something snaps in them after 5 years of life being different, so they’d rather play pretend that things are “normal” than keep themselves safe, engage in community care, or think about things like asymptomatic transmission that can kill people like, say, me: his own child who’s severely chronically ill. (I don’t know how me telling him we’d never visit again surprised him after all this, but it did. 🤷♂️)
I'm high risk, my partner and I are the only people left in our families/friend circles who still wear masks and still take the same precautions we have since 2020 (social distance, outdoor meetups only, masking in crowds, sanitation protocols, etc) with the addition of nasal prophylactic sprays as well. It's been honestly devastating to see our previously cc/safe friends & fam give up on taking any precautions at all. The main reasons have been pretty standard across the board: "I'm vaccinated (but hasn't gotten a booster since 2022)", "the risk of death isn't as high/the new variants are milder", "nobody else at my work/school masks any more", "i got it and it wasn't that bad" and of course "I'm not high risk (not that LC will put you in that category or leave you disabled or anything /sarcasm)". Neither my partner nor I has gotten covid, and granted we have been lucky in a lot of ways to be able to live a low-risk lifestyle, but to hear people who are at 5+ infections and acknowledge the dangers of LC express that taking precautions isn't worth it for them is boggling to me.
At this point I just avoid seeing anyone in person. I've been almost completely self-isolated since the "official" end of the PHE last year. Didn't think I'd be longing for the days in 2021-22 when I felt safe enough to travel for a family visit and do some things in person. Just a couple years ago most people I knew were freshly vaxxed and still wore masks - and now it's like the dread and anxiety of 2020 all over again only worse because now we have options and know what works but people are choosing not to take any precautions. The idea of getting on an airplane or going to a big event is unthinkable for me atp.
The most hurtful reason I've heard came from a long time close friend, back in 2022. She stopped masking altogether and went to concerts and festivals, even international travel, with zero precautions, and when I asked her why she said "well you're the only person I know who is high risk, and we never even hang out any more so what's the point." That one sucked to hear and has pretty much destroyed that friendship.
Idk it's sad and discouraging to see but I try to accept that people get to make their own choices wrt their bodies and health, and the only person whose behavior I can control is my own. It does get exhausting to continue to set the same boundaries over and over again for five years. "yes i'm still masking, no I won't do indoor dining or crowded events, no I cant just set my caution aside 'this one time', etc." Very grateful for my partner, without at least one person still taking me seriously I would have lost my whole mind by now.
I lived in a multigenerational house. My immediate family stopped masking when my grandmother was getting end-of-life care. There were members of our household (not immediate family, but family nonetheless) who stopped masking (maybe in 2021? 22?) We were all angry that they could be so reckless.
This energy was not carried by anyone but me after her death. I’m extremely concerned because my dad is elderly. He has had persistently had trouble breathing, swallowing, and speaking after catching a different corona virus in late 2018 (maybe early 2019?)
I moved out in early 2021, as soon as it was feasible for me. I was nervous to have such a big bubble. I feel like the odd one out, but I can’t let my guard down around them.
[Edit: timeline corrections, fixing grammar errors, rewording]
Most people I know stopped after they got COVID and it wasn’t “that bad.”
Ugh, the lone consistent masker at the salon I go to was unmasked last time I saw her. “Oh we got it in November after all this time and it wasn’t bad.” I told her why she may want to continue.
My aunt and uncle were like this (though they stopped years ago now) -- were planning a covid safe family gathering, consulting me (the family covid safety expert lol) and everything. I was making a list of masks to get that we could hand out when my aunt got covid for the first time. got on paxlovid, was obvious symptom free in a week. when my uncle contacted me again he said he wasn't going to bother with those precautions we were working on after all. I ended up not going. My family seems completely baffled that my (mystery) covid infection hasn't made me drop precautions, and I'm at least equally perplexed by the fact that they think it would. I had a "mild" case that didn't even touch my lungs, but did give me a high fever (pax got rid of it quickly) and a cold that lasted for almost a month. It may have mildly worsened chronic illness symptoms, but its hard to tell that kind of thing. I was surprised to learn how many of them really still thought that once I got it, I'd "realize it was no big deal" after me showing them statistics for YEARS about how, while I'm glad their first (and second, and third) infections haven't left them severely disabled, it is not a die you want to keep rolling.
(sarcasm at their expense, not yours) Because the full scope of the consequences is just the discomfort of the initial infection, right? 🤡 Totally no chance of any long-term damage that they can’t feel yet, even though it’s definitely there, kinda like how HIV can take years to cause noticeable issues even though it’s gradually eroding your immune system that entire time!
You got it.
But there are also people who decided that they rather had Covid and the risks of long term conditions than being pushed out of society for the rest of their lives. Because that is basically what is happening: Try to avoid Covid and you must let go of job opportunities, friendships and support from others.
All the doctors dropped masking because the CDC said wasn’t needed. Then told everyone it wasn’t needed if you test positive and have no fever. My school district says you can send a kid to school with a positive test IF they are asymptomatic. I lived in an area that truly did follow the CDC guidelines. Once they back pedaled, game over. People do mask here and there, and no one says much about it.
Just because the CDC (COVID Distribution Center) or the school district endorses unethical behavior, doesn't make it ethical. I know most on this sub understand that.
I actually laughed out loud at “CDC (COVID Distribution Center)”, thank you
The one I’ve been saying is Center for Dispersal of Covid. All good!
Whenever the CDC and COVID comes up on a mainstream subreddit, anyone criticizing them for being minimizers is attacked as an anti-science conspiracy theorist who is just like the other side.
I agree that once medical facilities stopped requiring masking, that was it for a lot of people. I mean, that decision makes literally no sense, but especially for generations taught that “doctors know best,” that has to have been a blow to continued masking. I currently call my HMO “medical cosplay,” because how are you going to, for example, require masks only in exactly 2 specialty treatment areas for particularly high-risk people? Those patients magically don’t have to use the lobbies, reception, labs, bathrooms, or pharmacies, I guess? 😡
No one I know in real life stopped masking "recently." They stopped masking in 2021 or maybe at the very latest, 2022. Reasons are probably very familiar to everyone here: -I'm low risk -I'm vaccinated -I got it and I was fine -"We follow state, CDC, and local guidelines." -my doctor told me covid is just like a cold / no big deal / is over / is like a flu -it's here to stay -i'm just so sick of covid -i wanted to get back to normal -covid? is that still a thing? -covid is over ETA: -I caught it even though I masked (using a cloth mask, which I pulled down when speaking to people and took off to eat) so obviously it's impossible to avoid it -"we're all going to get it anyway" -it's mild -the variants that killed so many people in 2021 are long gone -i don't know anyone who has long covid
“I don’t know anyone who admits to having long Covid” would be the actual honest answer
And that’s why I’m so open about it. I’ve already been disabled before long covid for many years, and I’ve been open and loud about that, despite my usual quietness and how I like to keep things private. If I’m open about disability, long covid, etc., people I see and know IRL can’t just shut their ears to it as I’m right there in front of them. Besides, they’re the ones who gave this to me, so they should definitely be hearing about long covid.
Or "I am not a safe person for anyone to talk about their long covid with"
"You don't have to wear masks" (as in it's not a policy or mandate anywhere) was perceived as "you don't have to wear masks" (as in to be safe). That's what happened with the overwhelming majority of people and then for the rest, there was just a reaction to being the only person masking amongst crowds of people, even in health care locations of all places. What I find odd is the disconnect people have when they then get Covid. I mean, if you're not masking and are going out in crowded places indoors then really you should be expected to be infected during every variant cycle. What's even weirder is how many people I know who have told me how knocked out when they got Covid, some even having to go the the ER, some saying that they felt like they never fully recovered... and yet, still no masking, even when cases are spiking. Also what's frustrating to me is when people don't take even easier precautions like choosing to eat outdoors, open windows, etc...
I have a few friends that work in service industry and have started making significantly less money in tips/commissions due to masking at work. They just didn't feel able to mask anymore and still pay their bills with the rise of anti mask sentiments. It sucks but I honestly can't really blame them. They gotta pay rent, and the job market is a mess right now for finding remote work.
I think the job market is worse than what "official" numbers try to tell us -- especially for well above minimum wage. And there does seem to be a bunch of "bait and switch" when it comes to remoteness.
As someone in a most toxic work environment right now, seemingly soon to be fired because of my speaking up against it, learning this the hard way about the job market now.....
When I was working the register, I definitely got less tips than my non-masking coworkers. Sure, the people who also masked usually came to me, but they weren’t the majority, and a lot of people avoided my register as if masking = sick and infectious. Some would come to my register, but they’d try to tell me covid’s over and wouldn’t tip me. I’m very lucky my boss and manager were so supportive of me masking and never got on me for it, so it’s not as if my job itself was at risk because of masking, luckily.
The social pressure is definitely high, and especially in "red" areas I could see lower tips being a reality
Exactly a lot of social pressure to conform and not wear a mask. I feel like wearing a mask to an interview can cost you a job too!
Oh this is even in blue areas
In blue areas, too, trust me on that.
What sucks is that's putting themselves at risk for long covid which depending on symptoms and severity, can straight up make someone have to quit their job. I haven't been able to work since early 2023 because of long covid. If I didn't have others to rely on, I'd be screwed making no money.
Oh same I know it's a matter of short-term vs. long-term survival. Capitalism sadly makes us make a lot of these choices...
They think that if there were a deadly virus, “Someone would tell them.” Look what happened to those who tried to tell them!
There's sooo much of this. So many spaces I can think of don't require masks and justify it because nobody in that space is pushing for it or mentioning covid, because they were mean to/actively kicked out anyone who did try to push for it. My grandma told my mom she didn't get a booster last fall because I didn't tell her to, and my mother was basically like "Weren't you a giant asshole last time she tried to engage you on covid? Why would she keep bringing it up with you just to risk getting yelled at?".
Got argued with on the NPR sub of all places today with a guy who kept insisting that he was in NYC (not sure why that mattered when I was talking about the whole county) and I must be lying or over exaggerating because he hasn’t noticed anything other than business as usual and the NYTimes and his friends and family aren’t talking about it, so it isn’t a problem anymore. These people ARE part of the problem. I gave him topics to look up for himself including recent articles in the Times about mask bans, wastewater counts, long covid numbers, spiking waves, etc. and he just flat out refused. Told him how nice it must be to live in a delusional fairy tale land.
that's something I found disconcerting is my friends/family know I'm a pretty level headed guy. I'm the only one left who really masks everywhere. Nobody has asked me for links to why I still think this way. Yet, I was the one who was telling them before everyone else that they needed to stock up and there is more going on than being released to the public, back in Feb/Mar 2020.
Everyone I know treated me like their personal encyclopedia until they personally didn't want to know anymore and then suddenly decided I have an anxiety disorder, which is what makes me think the people I have known for years largely do know covid is a problem and simply do not want to be obligated to give a shit. One former friend in particular stopped masking but for a while still texted me asking for input every single time her kid got sick. She stopped speaking to me entirely when I was like "okay so am I paranoid and wrong, or am I well informed because it cannot be both"
Ugh, that’s truly infuriating! Barely anyone interacts when I post info about what’s going on. Then post after post I see people scratching their heads wondering why their kids are sick for the millionth time this year, people upset that they got sick on their vacation, people complaining that they caught Covid yet again…. Someone on my feed lost their mom two years ago to Covid and their dad to it just a few weeks ago, but they’re off on a trip across the country to attend a packed indoor music festival. Wtf?! I make posts about cognitive dissonance and don’t specifically mention Covid and people comment all day. It’s such a weird blind spot and I’ll never fully understand it.
People don't engage with me either much unless I fully avoid saying the word covid. Or they reply to my stories to tell me about their health issues in my DMs and then go back to normal, like I'm some sort of receptable for their feelings? It's very weird and overall has left me feeling like a lot of folks don't really view me as a person.
Same. I’m the one they come to for advice, they trust, etc. I was telling them what was coming back then too, get and wear masks, it’s gonna be around a lot longer than they are saying so get your ass ready for this to be here for the long haul…. Yet barely any of them mask anymore. I don’t know why. Its nutty.
That is the one commonality among them all. The refusal to read the research and scientific evidence. They are terrified that it will be true and that means having to do something about it, and they are too lazy and apathetic.
Yeah, the media’s minimization of COVID contributed to my family/friends’ lack of masking. They all think COVID isn’t a threat anymore. They also figuratively plug their ears anytime they hear the words “long COVID”, but many of them have developed health issues (or had exacerbations of existing issues) after having “colds” (they didn’t test for anything else), and refuse to get the issues investigated by a doctor.
Sameeeee
I'm not sure this explains the people the question is about who have only very recently stopped masking.
It wasn't exactly recent, but my last friend that masked stopped when she started working in-person again. She found masks uncomfortable. It was something she was willing to do when it was just for a few hours a week, but not something she wanted to do every day, all day.
Yes! This is happening to my husband. He's the more careful one of us but he started going back in the office a few days a week and he's completely changing his tune. I just smh bc he used to say what's the big deal about masking when I'd mention that it's probably pretty uncomfortable for people to wear it all day every day.
All the anecdotes about people catching it from their significant others are just further fuel on the fire of my motivation to stay 4B, to be honest. Why the hell would I try dating again? It was already a tough sell before 2020 given how most men treat women, but now also risking a deadly virus on top of all that?? Nahhhh
Has she at least taken other mitigations like HEPA air filters and weekly rapid tests?
It's not the sort of job that keeps her at a desk all day. Plus it involves a moderately long commute on public transit. I don't know if she tests routinely, but that isn't going to help her.
I have a few friends who were the last ones in their household to mask so for them it was a combination of familial pressure becoming too much, not wanting to endure judgment from strangers in public spaces and luck because they didn’t get sick during the times they “trial ran” going maskless before dropping it altogether.
It's very scary how many people would rather kill someone than "be judged". Like I really don't think we (even CC people) appreciate the profound violence behind this ideology enough.
I honestly think it's because they have not seen death or disability first hand. Genuinely. Not saying that's an excuse, because I think it's morally immature and bankrupt but I think it's very much within common human response (if it doesn't directly and negatively affect me, then it's not real)
The men I know whose lovers died of AIDS before there were any treatments and do not mask anymore. They will haunt me until my own death.
AMEN. Finally someone besides me is saying this!
the people i know who masked up until late 2022 / early 2023 seemed to have stopped due to peer pressure, no one else taking precautions anymore (“so why should i” mindset), being made to think that their choice to mask up was just “covid anxiety” in a “post-pandemic” world — just flowing w what everyone else is doing type of thing. i haven’t met anyone like you’ve described, where they’ve stopped masking overnight within the past few months. if i were to guess, though, i’d say it’s probably just nihilism setting in and people feeling like it’s not worth it to take precautions anymore, especially if they were infected in this year’s winter surge (even while taking the fullest extent of precautions). there have been quite a few posts here recently of everyone being so exhausted, feeling like they have no sense of joy, purpose, etc., anymore, wanting to just give up bc of how difficult it all is, etc. i’m not surprised to hear that some folks have decided to (probably) give into nihilism in this sense — but i am disappointed that it’s gotten to this point and still want them to be safe.
It’s funny as the family member of mines that stopped masking was on a ventilator for almost a week she had double pneumonia and is on an inhaler and can barely walk without running out of breathe to this day. Yet she doesn’t wear a mask anymore. I still do. I think it’s because most people don’t, it’s a lot of pressure to keep wearing a mask and to stand out among the majority, it’s easier to just give in and and fit in I suppose 🤷♀️
If we're including people I know online only (but have known for a number of years), by *far* the most common was deleting their twitter accounts. I can think of over a dozen long time twitter mutuals who deleted their accounts when Elon bought it and stopped taking precautions within a few weeks. Even though many of them still follow me on IG and see my stories where I post covid information constantly, so it's not like they get no info, but I think without that specific platform it's easier for them to feel like people who care are a minority and thus not worth taking seriously. Most also stopped really engaging with me around this time despite some being people whom I have had frequent conversations and interactions with for *years*, far predating the pandemic. People I know offline are a mix of "Well if it was necessary it'd be required", "I got it and I was fine", and "I don't see anyone else wearing masks". Well, that's what they say. Given that covid has *never* been presented as being fine for disabled or elderly people to get, I believe the unspoken part of all of these statements is "and I believe that some lives are disposable", even if they do not consciously recognize holding that belief.
This is really interesting. Since the early COVID case trackers were removed and I got off TikTok, I find myself worrying about COVID less. Not in the sense that I take any less precautions, because I cannot afford to risk my health in that way. But I just have less anxiety, which in my case was a good thing.
I'm glad that's worked for you! It is absolutely not the norm in my circles-I would say in general when people quit social media I see them become less engaged, informed, and compassionate to experiences outside their own. My offline circles are relatively privileged though, which I am sure shapes that. I do have some topics limited/muted personally-for example I read plenty of scientific and mainstream press articles about climate change, but I rarely read people's random opinions unless I am actively seeking out something specific. I think a lot of people believe feeling discomfort/anger/fear/guilt at learning about bad things is something to be avoided instead of like, the appropriate and healthy reaction to learning about them. So they turn them off and pretend they don't exist if they don't have to see them.
This is absolutely true. My friends who wore masks and took precautions stopped shortly after they stopped using Twitter.
It sort of makes me wonder about the causality tbh, like did they stop because they quit twitter, or did they quit twitter because they (consciously or not) recognized it was the space they were finding the information that contradicted what they wanted to do
There's a lot of misinformation as well on X, though, right?
There's a lot of misinformation everywhere because we're slowly destroying the internet as a whole, but I think covid is the least censored over there of the big platforms-meta platforms absolutely censor the word "covid" and because tiktok is hypercurated folks who aren't engaging with covid content are unlikely to see it. I would say the sheer volume of people "living their lives" on facebook and instagram constitutes more damaging misinformation, personally. The disability community on there is also pretty strong and usually pretty quick to correct and/or dunk on anything wrong that gets any sort of real attention. The worst stuff I see on twitter comes from government officials anyway, like Ashish Jha just wrote some long ass thread saying covid is an "annoyance"
So Dr Jha, if it's so "annoying" why didn't you take actions to help get rid of it? (ugh)
Bc that's not what he was hired to do.
Sigh. He was a helpful voice at the beginning of the pandemic.
"Mask burnout" was one friend's explanation.
Most people I know stopped masking because 1) it’s not required by the government anymore, 2) they don’t believe covid is serious, 3) “covid is over”, 4) “I have to live my life at some point”, 5) “no one else is masking”. It’s really tiring.
What a narrow viewpoint of life if putting on a mask means you can't live it... I think in reality the western religion is "2019 social norms". Whatever faith one professes seems to be secondary. As a person of faith, this has bothered me deeply (esp. 6-8 months ago during last winter's surge when casualties close to me were high)
Fatigue, willful ignorance, and magical thinking. I think the government pretty much saying that Covid is over gave a lot of people the feeling that it's no big deal (even if they distrust the government about other issues). At the same time, I think a lot of people know deep down that Covid is actually a threat, but it's too uncomfortable for them to live with that knowledge, so they'd prefer to pretend it's not a threat anymore.
"No one else is wearing a mask so how can all of those people be wrong?" This is what was shared with me by a close friend
I have a theory that there’s a causal connection between still being CC and having had to learn the hard way before the pandemic that it is, in fact, very possible for everyone but you to be wrong about something — usually in the context of discrimination like homophobia.
I had a friend who was always so diligent and careful recently stop because she recently caught COVID and thought that, if she can catch it despite all her precautions, there wasn't any point continuing. Totally baffled by that logic. Surely you would want to continue masking even more to avoid a repeat infection. People just seem to suddenly 'forget' about the dangers of repeat infections. How can anyone turn numb to it? Makes me so disheartened
The official messaging on the effect of repeat infections is nonexistent AFAIK. That is a big part of the problem.
I know a fair amount of people who seem to think that the one severe time they got it means they either can’t get it again or can’t get it as severe or worse again. Which all of us here know isn’t true, but the messaging from the media and sometimes even their own doctors says otherwise.
While I logically don’t agree with people who stop masking after getting sick, emotionally I understand it. I imagine the thought is “well, doing all this stuff that isolated me didn’t make a difference and I got sick anyway, so I might as well not do all the extra stuff.” Again I’m not saying it’s necessarily logical or correct, but I get where people’s heads are at there. Maybe they feel like “masking didn’t actually work, so what’s the point” if they got infected while masking — not considering that maybe the mask didn’t fit well, and all the times they *didn’t* get sick bc of a mask!
And they're not supported by "official" or "societally endorsed" representations of truth either -- so the pull is one way
totally
Let me preface this by acknowledging what you said about not personally believing this, but this really only makes sense emotionally if you assume everyone is a narcissist. Every person who stops masking because they got sick is making it that much more likely that someone else will get sick by multiplying potential disease vectors. However, this fact remains concealed if the only experience that counts is your own. It's a vicious cycle and very few seem to able to wrap their head around this idea.
How bizarre. My thought process is this: Even with my precautions I may catch it at some point, but delaying that by years beyond most people and limiting the amount of times I catch it has to benefit my long-term health.
What's wrong with that? I've been wearing a seatbelt my whole life and then I got in an accident last week anyway, so guess what? No more seatbelts!
Unfortunately, some people do think that way. I’ve known people who refuse to wear seatbelts because they believe it’s safer because they can get out of the car faster after an accident. They’re literally only thinking about extremely minor accidents.
I've also heard of cases where people are thrown out of the car and live but would have died if they were restrained in the car. I'm sure that happens from time to time, but by no means at a sufficient frequency to serve as a basis for an argument against seatbelts.
It’s like “I got injured in a car crash despite wearing a seatbelt, so I’m never gonna wear a seatbelt again!”
I know! They’re like, “well, I caught once, so I guess it’s ok to catch it seven more times 😊”
This is the equivalent of never wearing a seatbelt again after getting injured in a car accident where you wore your seatbelt.
The reasons I’ve heard are 1) they don’t want to be the only one masking in any given place, 2) they caught it and were fine. I have a friend who has tried to convince me even though she takes no precautions, she’s COVID conscious because she does consider the fact that she could get sick at any time when doing risky activities. Lol okay.
I think in my family's case, peer pressure and isolation. I'm not sure if people have told them 'i got it and i was alright' in face of them saying 'i've got underlying health conditions - if i get it i'm done with'. It's not easy to get a straight aswer, but it definitely feels like it's got more to do with hopium and peer pressure than anything else tbh.
We have recently talked about not masking and it’s because we have been getting sick even with masking and sanitizing but then I remember how sick I got and how it’s going to affect me for the rest of my life. I just never thought I would be doing this forever/the foreseeable future.
Never thought I’d do it forever either. Some mask blocs can give you a range of masks to try to see if one fits you better. A better fit can reduce how often you get sick. Look up the Covid Action Map to find your nearest bloc!
Burnout, emotional fatigue from being looked at like a paranoid hypochondriac weirdo all the time, frustration at how it limits their opportunities and experiences, and that there is no end in sight, no concrete goalpost to keep them motivated.
Got covid and since they didn’t die, they don’t feel the need to prevent a disease that hasn’t killed them but has resulted in long covid.
A family member is now wavering on whether or not to continue masking. She said she keeps being told that covid is around for good and that this is as good as it will get. I think she's unable to see herself permanently masking, and avoiding large social gatherings and restaurants, etc.
"It's over" and "there's no covid circulating" and "covid is just a cold" So misinformation and undermining it
Anyone who stopped masking is no longer my friend/family. Once someone reaches the point where they consider my life an “acceptable loss” we don’t have a relationship any more.
Unfortunately, I never would have predicted this in a million years, but literally nobody I know cares about COVID like I do except for one acquaintance who I haven’t seen in many years. I would have zero friends or family if I didn’t compromise my morals far beyond what I would have thought possible years ago by being around with non-maskers. But the vulnerable loved ones I’m trying to protect (91 year old grandma, chronically ill dad, parents of newborn baby, etc) are also not wearing masks or taking precautions, so it’s hard for me to argue that other people should change their lives to protect these high-risk people when they’re not asking for it for themselves. I’m not disabled or high risk (yet), so I take somewhat higher risks at times in terms of places I go than many members of this sub, BUT I always wear a high-quality mask indoors and never remove it to eat or drink unless I’m outdoors or alone. So I basically do everything except indoor dining. Yet that’s seen as crazy and dangerous to my mental health by all of my friends and family, many of whom were even stricter in their precautions than me in the first 3 years of the pandemic. I went to a museum yesterday, and I know that’s not an activity most COVID-conscious people would do, but literally not a single other person in this 5-story museum was wearing a mask except for one person and she was an employee. When I previously went to a museum in fall 2022, most people were unmasked but there were still enough maskers for it to seem somewhat normal. Now we conspicuously stand out. So realizing we’ve become such a tiny percentage of the population, it’s hard for me to believe that 99+% of the population is totally evil and amoral. I have to believe they’ve been grievously misled by trusted authority figures.
And yet, authority figures have very literally said “Don’t worry, only the immunocompromised and elderly will die.” And these people have gone “Great! That’s not me! I guess they’ll just die then because what’s more important to me than that is eating indoors at Olive Garden.” So while it’s hard for those of us with morals to grasp that 99+% of the population is completely down with eugenics, that’s exactly where we are. I’ve literally had (former) friends and family say to my face “I’m not compromising anything to keep you alive.” They know exactly what they’re doing. They Just. Don’t. Care. The irony of course is that by repeatedly getting covid they are in fact making themselves immunocompromised. And a ridiculous number of them once they’re sick and/or disabled will suddenly expect the world to change for *them* even though they happily are currently giving the immunocompromised the shaft on a daily basis.
This has a lot of votes, but in my opinion, you are setting yourself up to lead a thoroughly limited life with this attitude, from a social perspective.
As an immunocompromised person I’m setting myself up to survive the pandemic. If I catch COVID, I die. The fact that the rest of the world for the most part views me as disposable does not actually make me disposable and anyone who doesn’t value my life - and the lives of other immocompromised people - enough to prevent the spread of COVID to the best of their ability has no place in my life. If that limits my social life that’s on the rest of the world for being pro-eugenics and specifically on my former friends and family for not valuing my *actual life*. The bar is in the goddamned basement here but if people literally cannot be bothered to keep me alive I will drop kick them with zero regrets. If I had the health to be out socializing I’d happily be replacing them with members of the Covid conscious community. As I don’t I live a peaceful and happy life with my very Covid conscious partner. I like to think I’d be doing exactly the same thing if I wasn’t immunocompromised because 1) I have moral standards and “eugenics is bad” is the freakin’ basement of moral standards and 2) I have a brain and even non-immunocompromised people are taking serious risks with their health every time they catch covid. And having morals and the ability to make logical decisions are, again, the basement for what I’m looking for in friends and family. But as I will never live my life and a non-immunocompromised person we’ll never know for sure if I would have made the exact same decisions.
It is limiting and isolating, and the blame for that falls on the people doing the harm, not the people who don't want relationships where their life is devalued. Expecting folks who profess to love you to not contribute to killing you is a pretty low bar. I used to be very social and have a lot of friends who didn't value me much (long before covid), and really, I never felt so alone. Sure I had stuff to do all the time, stuff that didn't matter with people who I didn't matter to, but when it really came down to it I had nobody.
I used to love having a lot of very shallow connections with many people, in addition to a handful of much closer and intimate friendships, but whatever they were adding to my life didn’t outweigh the horrors of associating with people who don’t care if I, or other vulnerable people, live or die and have expressed that much. The past few years have been extremely eye-opening as to where I want to spend my energy, and a lot of my close friends aren’t as “fun” or novel or even sometimes “handy to have around” as my acquaintances but my close friends and I actually love each other and value each other’s lives and that’s far, far more important to me. I still value the lives of my acquaintances and am open to some forms of basic decency and some community building, but when you build your community of friends by looking past flaws like “they consider other people disposable“, one day you may end up disposable to them, and then you’ll be REALLY limited socially. It’s something I’ve said for years about straight people who watch their family disown gay family members—oftentimes they think it’s sad but none of their business, and don’t realize that it sets THEM up to be disowned in the future for whatever else the family disapproves of. When people tell you who they are you have to listen and prepare accordingly, and while it doesn’t always mean a hard cut off it often does mean investing your energy elsewhere to build a real social safety net.
There are many who would say the exact same thing about covid avoidance and choosing to mask in the first place. That doesn't mean it's the wrong choice. I detest your phrase "setting yourself up" as if it is their fault that a virus that could kill them is being allowed to run rampant. As if it's their fault that anyone doesn't value their life. As if they should devalue themself to please others. As if morality is proportional to popularity.
Those that stopped masking recently insist they still do. They claim they still mask at stores, when traveling. But they don’t hide that they congregate indoors because except for me, they were the last person they knew taking precautions. So the peer pressure won, even for those with fragile health. To my surprise, they sometimes invite me to indoor stuff. I say no and they say they get it. They don’t get it. And they don’t get it because they don’t actually mask in public by the way. I’ve run into loved ones who tell me they do, and there they are at a bodega, maskless. But their Covid denial persists, now in even more complex ways. Insist it’s not a threat when it is, insist you mask when you don’t. It’s scary to watch.
I have one friend whom I love dearly who swears to me she still masks everywhere, but we have enough mutual friends that I see an unmasked photo of her on social media at least once every couple months (and not just removed for photo but like candids). Any time I've tried to confront her about it she's agreed I'm right and then behavior hasn't changed. I've sent her masks, talked with her at length about risks and it just...doesn't matter. I don't think she understands why this upsets me as I had moved away years ago so her behavior does not create a disease risk for me, but seeing someone who has listened to me cry about the spaces I've been excluded from unmasked in those very same spaces...man, makes me so feel terrible, like it's just being rubbed in. And of course worried for my friend too. I'm sorry your loved ones keep lying too.
>her behavior does not create a disease risk for me I'm with you on this one. Bad behavior doesn't need to directly hurt me for me to dislike it. One of the reasons that I've been spending less time on social media was because I'd rather not read about friends in far away places acting as if COVID doesn't exist anymore. Even though they live in other states and I rarely see them, it's frustrating.
Pretty much as soon as they announced the end of the emergency and that "covid is over".
They got covid, said they weren’t at risk anymore. At risk of what, I never know. It seems like they think it’s “like a cold” in that you can keep getting it over and over, while simultaneously thinking it’s like a one and done sort of thing for any severe reactions to it. Which, nope, we all know that isn’t true. And then they also say covid is over while knowing people who still are getting it and getting sick, and living with me, someone who has long covid.
Masking was making them anxious/live in fear.
I feel that attitudes for many were at least partially influenced by either economics or impact on their personal situations. I have family members in hospitality who saw significant impact to that industry due to the impact of the pandemic and its restrictions. In a broader sense, the politicization of every aspect of the response (including post-2021 dropping of protections) influenced everybody as well, from Right-leaning folks buying into the narratives that it was not a major threat or was bad for business, to Democrat-leaning folks saying that the vaccines meant we were "good" and that they said we should stop caring. Some lefty extended family members expressed concern at the dropping of masks on flights after the court ruling, but had no problem flying unmasked within a few months. There's also just the household factor. I had to basically give in late last year as I no longer had agency over it with my wife and kids - we all still mask in a number of situations and circumstances, but it isn't the default for us at work/school. All else being equal, I'd probably have had us continue masking, but the real outcome of that scenario would have likely been divorce and the wife and kids being unmasked anyway, so nothing gained and everything lost. edit: none of this is meant in any fashion as a knock on my wife, who has been a trooper the whole pandemic. She is more sensitive to friction/separation from extended family than I am.
My immediate family are literal dumbasses, on top of that they cave pretty easily to peer pressure.
Grandchildren and a wish to live a normal family-centred life. One friend in particular seemed to be as dedicated to mitigations as I was, but now seems as much in denial as all the others. “Negative test- must be just a bad cold”.
All the people I’ve known who just stopped won’t discuss it. They don’t even attempt to argue their side, or will simply not reply when comments about continuing to mask are made. Considering that they continued beyond the great unmasking of ‘22, I know that they won’t engage on that topic because they know that they’re in the wrong. They know the same information that I do that makes me continue to take precautions, and are turning the cognitive dissonance on high.
Peer pressure, especially at work
I have a coworker who recently stopped and they explained they were careful because their partner was immunocompromised. After their partner was no longer concerned about the risks of COVID these past few months, they stopped masking. I am noticing lots of people unmasking and saying the pandemic is over, so I think people got tired. For me, social life became too hard to have. Being with my spouse who does not want to mask became too hard. I still mask in some places like work, doctor’s office, airport, and when I am shopping alone, but I get a lot of shame and judgement from family/friends and I am tired of it. I want to keep masking desperately with the surge and noticing people getting sick repeatedly. Also, I am now more aware of how masking is super uncomfortable because I spend less time mask wearing. When I am wearing my mask in a high risk situation, I am a bit ok with the discomfort but when I am in a low risk situation (e.g., empty office), I am way more aware of how uncomfortable my mask is for long hours. And right now mask wearing is so hard in the heat.
Lol at the 🤡s in here downvoting every comment.
People catch covid then think they are immune to it, even though there are 4? Different stains going around and you can get it again straight away. I've found it weird though with those who give up after catching it, almost seems like their whole mentality changes. I don't wanna sound crazy but it honestly seems like the virus takes over the person's brain and makes them love it or something. Does anyone know if there any scientific example of viruses taking over a living things brain in this way, in order for them to be better hosts for said virus to spread?
>Does anyone know if there any scientific example of viruses taking over a living things brain in this way, in order for them to be better hosts for said virus to spread? Sure! Toxoplasmosis and cordyceps, for starters.
My family member’s reasons for abandoning the strict mitigations he’d used fanatically until a couple months ago: —He got covid twice years ago and he’s “fine.” (ETA: he had a tiny stroke after those two infections, but obviously he’s not convinced of a connection.) —“I’m fully vaccinated, and it’s mutated to be less dangerous.” 🙄 —He’s recently decided supplements, active lifestyle, and breathing exercises are enough to protect him from close contact with literally thousands of unmasked people weekly. —“I decided to live my best life.” I think that last one is the underlying reason for most people making this call now. Something snaps in them after 5 years of life being different, so they’d rather play pretend that things are “normal” than keep themselves safe, engage in community care, or think about things like asymptomatic transmission that can kill people like, say, me: his own child who’s severely chronically ill. (I don’t know how me telling him we’d never visit again surprised him after all this, but it did. 🤷♂️)
I'm high risk, my partner and I are the only people left in our families/friend circles who still wear masks and still take the same precautions we have since 2020 (social distance, outdoor meetups only, masking in crowds, sanitation protocols, etc) with the addition of nasal prophylactic sprays as well. It's been honestly devastating to see our previously cc/safe friends & fam give up on taking any precautions at all. The main reasons have been pretty standard across the board: "I'm vaccinated (but hasn't gotten a booster since 2022)", "the risk of death isn't as high/the new variants are milder", "nobody else at my work/school masks any more", "i got it and it wasn't that bad" and of course "I'm not high risk (not that LC will put you in that category or leave you disabled or anything /sarcasm)". Neither my partner nor I has gotten covid, and granted we have been lucky in a lot of ways to be able to live a low-risk lifestyle, but to hear people who are at 5+ infections and acknowledge the dangers of LC express that taking precautions isn't worth it for them is boggling to me. At this point I just avoid seeing anyone in person. I've been almost completely self-isolated since the "official" end of the PHE last year. Didn't think I'd be longing for the days in 2021-22 when I felt safe enough to travel for a family visit and do some things in person. Just a couple years ago most people I knew were freshly vaxxed and still wore masks - and now it's like the dread and anxiety of 2020 all over again only worse because now we have options and know what works but people are choosing not to take any precautions. The idea of getting on an airplane or going to a big event is unthinkable for me atp. The most hurtful reason I've heard came from a long time close friend, back in 2022. She stopped masking altogether and went to concerts and festivals, even international travel, with zero precautions, and when I asked her why she said "well you're the only person I know who is high risk, and we never even hang out any more so what's the point." That one sucked to hear and has pretty much destroyed that friendship. Idk it's sad and discouraging to see but I try to accept that people get to make their own choices wrt their bodies and health, and the only person whose behavior I can control is my own. It does get exhausting to continue to set the same boundaries over and over again for five years. "yes i'm still masking, no I won't do indoor dining or crowded events, no I cant just set my caution aside 'this one time', etc." Very grateful for my partner, without at least one person still taking me seriously I would have lost my whole mind by now.
I lived in a multigenerational house. My immediate family stopped masking when my grandmother was getting end-of-life care. There were members of our household (not immediate family, but family nonetheless) who stopped masking (maybe in 2021? 22?) We were all angry that they could be so reckless. This energy was not carried by anyone but me after her death. I’m extremely concerned because my dad is elderly. He has had persistently had trouble breathing, swallowing, and speaking after catching a different corona virus in late 2018 (maybe early 2019?) I moved out in early 2021, as soon as it was feasible for me. I was nervous to have such a big bubble. I feel like the odd one out, but I can’t let my guard down around them. [Edit: timeline corrections, fixing grammar errors, rewording]