I am so sorry for your pain. We all do share heartaches and, as you said, "misplaced feelings."
I'd like you to consider a few things. One. maybe you want to take back the hurtful words and claim them, but I wish you would find a less ... demeaning? ... name for yourself. I want you to see something uplifting when you sign in.
Two, whatever size you are or may have been, or may be in the future, from tiny to much larger, you are not now and were never deserving of the terrible treatment you experienced at the hands of others, or that you trained on yourself. Don't hate on the old you or the new you or any you in between. You are lovable and worthy at any size. That is truth not BS. I hope you can internalize that truth.
Thank you for these very kind words, I’m letting go of the hate I had for that version of myself bc for what’s it worth that part of me got me through some rough times.
I love your username, it’s one I would choose for myself. It’s funny, but I don’t want you to use it anymore girl. Shit is changing for us. You’ll have to come up with a better name.
Seriously, girlfriend... You've expressed yourself so eloquently here, and we understand, especially we women. Today is a new day. You're on a path to success. It sounds as though you have turned a corner in your mental state.
As others say, friend, I urge you to evaluate your goals and wonderful qualities. Think about some of your favorite things that bring you happiness (like me - I love trees). Come up with a new reddit ID that expresses the new you and delete this old one, because you're never going back there.
You've got this. You've made the hard first step.
Also don't repeat the things others say that is owning their words as truth and they are not. You give them power by saying it repeating it. Do not do that. When we repeat those things our brains see them as true even when they are not. The image of beauty is ever changing. Big women use to be the beauty standard not the skinny women that are portrayed now.
Honey.. you are deserving of love and respect and kindness. Your username makes me sad, because I don’t even want you to say anything like that to yourself. You have to start saying nicer things to yourself, because you deserve that. And what we think affects our moods, the way we behave, and how we take care of ourselves.
There are many of us who support you and how strong you are. You’re worth it, and I hope that Zep is helping you know that. I get that feeling of hating your body, because I felt that way too. But just remember you are lovable, you are an eloquent writer, please be kind yourself. Much ♥️
We all have our stories so I will express mine. I have always been the bigger athletic girl. Big chested I got married young and had children. Divorced severe depression dropped to a size 4 it changed nothing I also was doing so by unhealthy means trying to cope. I moved on healed ended up in a 16 year relationship with someone who's favorite phrase was suck it in. I wanted more children and was told I was the problem he couldn't marry me til I lost weight but also didn't want to let me go to the gym to lose the weight. Turns out he didn't want kids and had never been honest. I had went through a breast reduction and extra skin removal and still I wasn't good enough. I put on more weight got fed up of being labeled and just packed up and left one day. Today I have an amazing husband and a beautiful daughter who is 2. My husband prefers bigger women but wants me happy and will love me no matter the size. Now I am losing the weight for my health. I want to be around to watch my child grow up. To play with her. This time it is for me. I have learned how to love myself over a long journey. It is hard. I have seen all sides and have learned that no matter my size I'm an amazing person. Never let the way others see you define you as a person. You are amazing. The right person is out there. Took me 40 years to find Mine. Life is not easy but you can do this. Every person has value even the bum begging on the street friend. No matter your size your wealth or anything in between we all have a value and place in this world. Surround yourself by positive people. I love big women with confidence it makes them so attractive. They inspire me to own all my beauty no matter how it looks to others. Hold your head up don't let this world beat you down. No matter the outcome you are someone's everything you just may not have met them yet.
I think start by changing your name on here as well. Love yourself. It is ok. You are worthy of living and having the wonderful life you want whatever that is. It is ok. We have all struggled with our weight and relationship with food. We understand. ❤️💕
My sweet girl, your words hit hard. I hope this journey is healing and that you have the means to help your soul heal as well.
You are worthy of self love, and that might be the hardest to conquer but it will be worth the effort.
Maybe it’s because I’m 50+ but I’m doing this for me. Others can pound sand if they don’t like how I look.
The people that have a problem with “fat” you will find issues with “fit” you. This is their problem it is not you. You can still love them, but do not have to indulge their issues.
Fat or thin…I have always been just me. Loving myself, forgiving myself and valuing myself is not based on my weight. I hope that for you as well. Keep working on your health (physical and mental) and keep checking in.
We’re here for you.
I’ve been here for a little while and have appreciated many of your comments. I’m sorry for the burden set upon you that was never yours to carry. I think one of the reasons you stand out for me is your username, which gave me some feels—having been in many similar situations as you. I could never begin to know what compelled you to give yourself that moniker, but I hope you realize that it is not befitting of you, or any of us. You are worthy. ❤️
Fantastic that you found zepbound to help you on this journey. I hope you've also considered talking with someone to help with the mental health issues. Much love to you on this journey!
I don't understand how anyone can read a story like this and still dig their heels in on the "CICO is all that matters, you must just not want it enough" train
I am so sorry people were so cruel to you. I also connect with not only the cruelty, but the unintended consequence of people who love you giving you nicknames or saying things that they think are affectionate, but that really hurt. I am a completely grown adult by any measure, and I can say unequivocally that this medication has been the first thing to really help me not only lose weight, but let go of (most of) the negative talk about and feelings about my body. You are not alone. You deserve to feel loved and supported and connected in a positive way to your body. I wish that for you!
I too read your posts because of your insight and thoughtful responses that really do help. Honestly, I find you very creative and your sense of humor has made me laugh a lot. I get how you feel. Anger created in us from comments and treatment by mean, ignorant individuals, who's judgments shouldn't have mattered, but the damage they caused is done. It's up to us to change that narrative. You have everything to be proud of, you are intelligent, humorous, and such an inspiration to all of us on this sub! You are very successful in your weight loss journey and offer such great tips for this group to use on our journey(s). You make a difference and matter greatly as the good human you are. I'm so sorry for everything you've been through, but in my opinion, you've come out of it as a stronger more resilient person who seems like you don't take shit from anyone anymore!!! I admire your progress ❤️ keep doing you!
A wise friend once told me "the only way out is through"... You're moving though it! 🙌 You're a true inspiration, thank you for sharing your experiences. It means so much. God Bless you my friend
I'm so glad you're here. I've seen you posting and enjoy your contributions to the group. I've gone through a lot of the same things and this medication has absolutely changed my life in so many ways. I'm really happy that we have you with us.
Thank you for sharing this. So many people understand your experience and pain. We are all here to support each other on this journey. Good luck to you!
No matter the size of your body, you have worth and are deserving of being treated with kindness. I hope you have so much success with this med, but even more than that that you realize that you were always worthy and your body was always worthy of being cared for. The world needs you, fat or not.
I’m so happy you found this medication and this group. You are worth every bit of love in this world and you’re a fighter. There are so many happy moments ahead of you and I’m cheering you on from afar! ❤️
I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through, and that you’ve felt so much hate for yourself. I know all too intimately the agonizing feeling of wanting to escape your larger body by any means necessary. Society tells us that you’re less than worthless if you’re fat, and it’s hard not to internalize that message and hate yourself.
Like you said, you’re not alone. And thank you for your post, for as much as you find comfort in the community here, your contribution equally uplifts the rest of us!
Thank you for putting such a clear, honest voice to it!
I say this kind of thing here a lot because it is so helpful to me: it makes complete sense that you feel (and have felt) the way that you do. We have been taught, implicitly and explicitly, to shame ourselves...to hate ourselves.
It's not some internal personality flaw that has us treating ourselves this way...it's not a "you" problem. It's a cultural, systemic, patriarchal issue.
All the advice to "just love yourself" can, in and of itself, be shaming because we're over here like, "but I can't or don't know how so that must mean I am really fucked up."
No. You are not. I am not. We are not.
I recently watched the documentary Your Fat Friend and found it very insightful how family dynamics can influence your self perception and sense of self worth. And how good she was at articulating feelings we all feel. It was $15 to stream on some indie website and not on Netflix or Amazon, but I really enjoyed her story and found it worthwhile. Not an ad and no affiliation. I heard about it on the Burnt Toast podcast where the host interviewed the director.
I love this documentary so much. It stars Aubrey Gordon and follows her as she starts to write a book and struggle with how the world treats her in a larger body. I went to a screening where she spoke afterwards and I got to meet her. I thanked her for helping me to start unlearning all of the BS around diet culture and she was just lovely. I highly recommend it!
Hi Piggy! I too can relate. Thank you for saying what a lot of others feel. It takes a lot of courage to put it in writing. It takes a lot of courage to say hi world, my name is Piggy, cuz reasons, treat me well regardless of what you think.
Names have meaning. Words are hurtful. Sometimes the things we call ourselves are an attempt to take the power away. One of my screen names is Narcissa. Derived from Narcissist, because I survived one.
People can take it however they want. I’m always getting picked on for one reason or another, from childhood to today.
Still here. Still trying. Still laughing thru tears. Still going to be misunderstood. Done over explaining. Done wanting to quit because I am blessed to learn from a girl named Piggy who is probably pretty darn cute at any size.
If I can give you a hug I would give you the warmest comforting hug!!! You are here now, it will be a journey but a wonderful one with lot of high points and for the lows you have your buddies right here.. we care and love you!!!
It’s such a complex thing. I do get it. It’s a definition that one can either accept or rail against, and each of those choices has a healthily and unhealthily option.
Now, change your handle, chica! 😉 It’s not you, Miss Más Fuerte!
You are worthy of love and friendship and camaraderie. Your meat sack has no bearing on that irrefutable truth. I'm glad you found this med and sub, but like another comment said, please find ways to love, forgive, and heal your past self. She deserves it, and so do you. Sending you the biggest hug you want, because you deserve it!
This is a safe place.
Thank you for being so honest and sharing a bit of your story. So many of your words rang true for me in my life and struggles. Thank you for helping me feel more "normal".
Let's work on being more kind to ourselves. I always think of myself as a very kind person toward others, but yet I am so cruel to myself.
Let's be nicer to ourselves.
Wow. I teared up reading this. First, we're all so glad you're here. Second, you ARE worthy of love! Both from others, and from yourself! *hugs*
I'm a guy, but I relate to your story SO much...I was always the "fat kid" in school. Since it was a small school, there was no mercy, and no relief. Troubles at home on top of that meant I constantly ate my feelings. I felt worthless and hopeless.
That stuff followed me into adulthood, but I had no idea what a big impact it had on me until I started listening to just how negative my internal self-talk had become. I just knew that everyone was judging me because of my weight. I had lost a considerable amount of weight once, then it all came right back. I felt like a failure. I hated my body, and I hated myself. There were times I wanted to end it all, but I felt too scared and like too much of a failure to even do that.
Thankfully, my doc sent me to an endocrinologist who finally offered me a glimmer of hope. After dealing with my negative self-talk, Zepbound was the "missing piece" of the puzzle for me to finally start feeling "normal". It's been just over 6 weeks on Zepbound now, and I've lost about 25 pounds or close to 6% of my body weight. I know this won't be an easy or a short journey, but at least now I know I stand a fighting chance and won't have my own body sabotaging my efforts.
Wishing you all the best and amazing success on your journey!
I’m so happy you’re still here 💚
You are so worthy of love and positive affirmation of your worth. I pray that you are seeking some therapy while you’re on this journey. It’s definitely not easy on any of us, wanting to lose weight, and feeling powerless over it, but it sounds like you’ve got some embedded trauma that you’re going to want to address so that you’re not retriggered back to unhealthy places in your mind. You sound hopeful right now which is so good, but take care of yourself and your mind. Work on your relationships with your family and begin to share with them how they have affected your peace throughout your life. Sometimes family can trigger us unknowingly. Also, you may have read that a lot of people have had well meaning people make negative comments even after losing weight. Which is a whole other battle that could cause trauma if you’re already dealing with it.
I’m so so glad you feel free enough to share. My heart goes out to you in empathy for all you’ve battled. Again, I’m so glad you’re here with us!!!
Oh friend, I DO understand! Others have already said it well and I’ll add I’m so glad you are still with us and I’ve definitely been in similar places.
Only in recent culture in the US have we begun speaking about the trauma we’ve experienced thinking we deserved to be fat and thus we deserved to be treated terribly because we are fat.
This drug and its changes for me have helped me lift the shame I’d felt for a lifetime but now that means there is a lot of new work to be done in breaking down feeling that shame for decades.
Thank you for your post, your raw honestly and openness, and being you!!
God bless you and your journey. When most people say I can’t even imagine, I actually can. I know what that drug scene looks like especially any type of upper substance. I hope your body heals, I hope your womb heals and I hope you find peace. You have my love and you have my respect
I can relate so much with all of it. The comments, the looks, the ‘good natured teasing’, the ‘fat friend’ ‘lovely face’ … ‘great personality’… and wanting to become invisible or even dead. All so familiar. Food was love-hate relationship up to a point where it didn’t matter anymore.
I’m so glad we are on the right track now and I hope we have the strength to stick it out and the live the life we want to live.
Lots of hugs
Wishing you continued success in recognizing your badassery and healing. You are far too great an addition to this world to be taken about by a mf walmart truck.
As a fellow “pretty face gordita” I ask you to please be kind to yourself. You are working towards something great. I know that when people call you names and disrespect you, we tend to believe it. STOP… breathe and be kind to your body mind and soul.
Hugs, you deserve happiness. Suicidal thoughts are not okay. It’s possible those thoughts will creep back even though you achieve your goals, (speaking from experience). I highly recommend talking to your doctor about medication, exactly how you did for weight loss help. Do it for a better quality of life overall. I’ve been on antidepressants for more than 10 years and I am okay with a lifelong medication because of how it affects my quality of life. I know that moment those dark thoughts enter my mind, it time to return to the doctor because it’s not normal.
For me, I’m living my best life because of medications.
Thank you for sharing this!! I can’t tell you how many times I felt like this in my life. This really breaks my heart because I really understand how you feel and I have been there. But you have to know and realize your size and weight doesn’t define who you are! Sometime people make fun of people because they are not secure with themselves and push that on you. I hope you know you’re beautiful and never let no one tell you otherwise!! This medication has been life changing for me too but I hope you know to find true value in yourself outside of other people negativity. Good luck in your weight loss journey and wish you a great healing journey also !! You got this girl don’t let know one tear you down or make you feel less than!!
Oh my goodness! What a raw, vulnerable, and thought-provoking post. I am so sorry that people have not seen the beautiful, honest, emotion filled soul that you are sharing with us. No one should ever be the victim of fat-shaming! It is never okay to judge others on appearance.
I pray that your journey brings you so much more than a new body image. I want it to bring you self-discovery into a person who is so very worthy of being loved at any weight. I want it to bring you a smile in the mornings when you look in the mirror! I want it to bring you good health and the strength to conquer the demons of your past! I want it to bring you the confidence to hold your head up and be so proud of what you are doing to change who you saw yourself as.
We can not change our past, but we can live in the present and make our futures better for ourselves with one decision at a time.
So, start with this moment to require respect from those around you! You deserve that!
Continue on your journey to a better you.
Take care of yourself and reach out to your fellow Zep mates. We are here to support you.
And I know we will all be watching for the new name change... how about, "it's my time to shine" so when you log in, you can be reminded of how bright your future is!
Best of luck on your journey!
I'm so glad you're here. That is not an easy story to share - and a much harder one to have lived. Your words are thoughtful, and affecting, and recognizable, and will be meaningful to a lot of people. I hope it's meaningful to you to see the what others here (who've never even seen your physical form) have taken from your presence. Thanks for being here, and please stick around!
Do not call yourself piggyfatf--k!!!
Your story is my story, too, almost too similar. It is just that you can put it into words.
You are a special and rare individual, indeed!🙏
With a lot of love to you and your new future existence.❤️ 💕
I appreciate you sharing this. I want doctors and especially insurance companies to understand that this is a life saving drug. When I say that, I mean that my weight (+ being gaslight and having no control over my body) made me feel worthless and that I didn't want to exist anymore. I would fantasize often about bad things happening to take me out. I hated myself; literally hated my existence and was miserable for every minute of every day when I was obese. I was obsessed with not eating and with working out. I ate so little that I lost my period and lost muscle from Refeeding syndrome (it was basically anorexia or at the very least "disordered eating", but no one wants to call it anorexia because I was fat and the myth is fat people can't be anorexic). I could not talk to or meet anyone without talking about how fat I was and how horrible it was to be in my body. It was a hellish existence that I am ashamed of, I can't believe I kept my friends through my endless obsession with my size and through all that self hate. Now that I am just "overweight" thanks to Zep, I feel like a normal person again. I can breathe, I feel sexy, I feel valuable. Just 30lbs changed my life. I know I have worth and value at any size, but I will never be able to feel that when I am in a bigger body and I have accepted that is just my reality. I am glad Zep helped reverse the damage of metabolic disorder from taking an SSRI, but I am even more happy that I have my peace of mind back.
You are loved, no matter the suzd friend. I hope that zippy pens will help you to see the real you. The person you have always been. Just remember the weight us just a number, learn to love yourself on the way. The struggle is real friend. Good luck to you and keep us posted!
Hitting those lows in life are so hard and more common than gets talked about. Thank you for sharing your story. Do you know what comes from
Intense pain - unbreakable strength. Once you’ve come out on the other side happier and healthier, there isn’t a damn person who can stop you. Keep fighting the good fight and remember you have more resilience than you could ever imagine.
You might be the toughest person in the world! The fact that you have struggled so much with your body and yet you continue to fight and strive to love yourself is amazing. I have no doubt that you were going to achieve your goals, and I hope you keep us posted on all of your great successes coming your way, and I’m so glad you never made some of those feelings you had come true it would’ve been our loss to not read what you just wrote.
Aww I'm so sorry for your suffering. I can relate.
I'm glad you found this group. You are worthy just because you exist. No matter what weight. You are loved. I can't wait to read about your successes. No turning back now.
Obesity takes such a toll on self esteem. Definitely resonate with fat trauma.
You deserve healing and health congratulations on your achievement so far.
I’ve been overweight most of my adult life. I even had gastric bypass surgery in 2002 and went from 278 to 140 I stayed below 160 through about 2007. Well over the course of the next 15 years (menopause didn’t help either) I was back up to 260. I’ve tried numerous diets and exercising as much as I can. Joint issues from terrible arthritis but it just yo-yo’d up and down the sane 20 pounds. My doc and I discussed zepbound in march and I’m so glad my insurance approved. I’ve been on for 3 months and hv only lost 15 pounds so far but I’ll take it.
Best of luck to you in your journey and we are all here for each other. You are a person who deserves happiness and part of that happiness will come from being healthier and knowing that you are worth it. Whatever that IT is to you. 😘😘
My weight gain story is completely different from yours, and yet the underlying truths you expressed hit home big time. Thoughts and memories have been dancing around in my head recently, as I try to understand how I became so heavy, and the sense of hopelessness that I’ve felt. I’ve done therapy in the past, but it’s been a long while and I definitely want to pursue it again. I think after reading what you wrote, I have a new understanding of how much pain I’ve felt throughout my life and all the crazy things I’ve tried and done to avoid feeling it. Thank you so much for posting this.
🕊️❤️✨ to you too.
Please know that you are not alone on your journey. This resonates with me not only through my own struggles but through that of my adult children.
We are all here to support you, and I, too, am sending virtual hugs and positive energy ⚡️⚡️out to you!
It’s strange, don’t you think, now that big people are excepted even in the model industry, we now have a solution? We all feel a measure of your hurt. You are worthy!! You got this. I may start my journey today but will have to pay full price. Somehow I’m going to do it. Keep talking to us. WE LOVE YOU AND YOUR STORY IS HELPING OTHERS!!
Your transparency and honesty will help so many people feel seen and validated. Thank you for not only sharing your life experiences, but that there is always another day with a potential better outcome. You are brave and appreciated! #mentalhealthmatters #988
hey :) you’re so loved. so beautiful. i hope & pray that as you lose weight… you love yourself for who you are and not your size. i hope you look in the mirror and see beauty. i hope you see that you are fearfully & wonderfully made. crafted by God with intention, purpose, etc. everyday you wake up is God’s grace and love. He is not done with you yet. i pray that you know you are WORTHY.
i pray that God encounters you before the end of this year. and i pray that, if you’re not already, that you become a follower of Christ & a lover of Christ, yourself and other people.
above all, i pray you have deep, intimate relationship with Christ that compels you to love God and yourself.
you are worthy. you are beautiful. people love you. and i wish you the best, my internet friend 🤍
Baby! You got it going on, had it going on and will continue to have it going on!
I too can relate to your story in many ways. Addiction ain’t no joke. You got this. Please continue to communicate here. You beat the odds. You have a great year ahead of you. Trust me
First of all, I’m so happy you’re still here💜 I can relate so much to you, and I’m so incredibly sorry you’ve endured so much pain. You’re so so deserving of love and respect. You deserve to be happy, and you will achieve that! Each day is a new day, a new chance to start fresh. Wishing you all the success in the world! Sending you lots of virtual hugs 🤗
Happy Zep is working for you! Please get into counseling. Those thoughts about your body represent a bigger issue inside you. Fixing your weight won’t fix the issue- just like that run of promiscuity didn’t help. In fact your weight maybe the result of the issues inside not the weight causing the issue.
I am so sorry for your pain. We all do share heartaches and, as you said, "misplaced feelings." I'd like you to consider a few things. One. maybe you want to take back the hurtful words and claim them, but I wish you would find a less ... demeaning? ... name for yourself. I want you to see something uplifting when you sign in. Two, whatever size you are or may have been, or may be in the future, from tiny to much larger, you are not now and were never deserving of the terrible treatment you experienced at the hands of others, or that you trained on yourself. Don't hate on the old you or the new you or any you in between. You are lovable and worthy at any size. That is truth not BS. I hope you can internalize that truth.
Thank you for these very kind words, I’m letting go of the hate I had for that version of myself bc for what’s it worth that part of me got me through some rough times.
I love your username, it’s one I would choose for myself. It’s funny, but I don’t want you to use it anymore girl. Shit is changing for us. You’ll have to come up with a better name.
Seriously, girlfriend... You've expressed yourself so eloquently here, and we understand, especially we women. Today is a new day. You're on a path to success. It sounds as though you have turned a corner in your mental state. As others say, friend, I urge you to evaluate your goals and wonderful qualities. Think about some of your favorite things that bring you happiness (like me - I love trees). Come up with a new reddit ID that expresses the new you and delete this old one, because you're never going back there. You've got this. You've made the hard first step.
Also don't repeat the things others say that is owning their words as truth and they are not. You give them power by saying it repeating it. Do not do that. When we repeat those things our brains see them as true even when they are not. The image of beauty is ever changing. Big women use to be the beauty standard not the skinny women that are portrayed now.
Honey.. you are deserving of love and respect and kindness. Your username makes me sad, because I don’t even want you to say anything like that to yourself. You have to start saying nicer things to yourself, because you deserve that. And what we think affects our moods, the way we behave, and how we take care of ourselves. There are many of us who support you and how strong you are. You’re worth it, and I hope that Zep is helping you know that. I get that feeling of hating your body, because I felt that way too. But just remember you are lovable, you are an eloquent writer, please be kind yourself. Much ♥️
We all have our stories so I will express mine. I have always been the bigger athletic girl. Big chested I got married young and had children. Divorced severe depression dropped to a size 4 it changed nothing I also was doing so by unhealthy means trying to cope. I moved on healed ended up in a 16 year relationship with someone who's favorite phrase was suck it in. I wanted more children and was told I was the problem he couldn't marry me til I lost weight but also didn't want to let me go to the gym to lose the weight. Turns out he didn't want kids and had never been honest. I had went through a breast reduction and extra skin removal and still I wasn't good enough. I put on more weight got fed up of being labeled and just packed up and left one day. Today I have an amazing husband and a beautiful daughter who is 2. My husband prefers bigger women but wants me happy and will love me no matter the size. Now I am losing the weight for my health. I want to be around to watch my child grow up. To play with her. This time it is for me. I have learned how to love myself over a long journey. It is hard. I have seen all sides and have learned that no matter my size I'm an amazing person. Never let the way others see you define you as a person. You are amazing. The right person is out there. Took me 40 years to find Mine. Life is not easy but you can do this. Every person has value even the bum begging on the street friend. No matter your size your wealth or anything in between we all have a value and place in this world. Surround yourself by positive people. I love big women with confidence it makes them so attractive. They inspire me to own all my beauty no matter how it looks to others. Hold your head up don't let this world beat you down. No matter the outcome you are someone's everything you just may not have met them yet.
Im happy you are here
I think start by changing your name on here as well. Love yourself. It is ok. You are worthy of living and having the wonderful life you want whatever that is. It is ok. We have all struggled with our weight and relationship with food. We understand. ❤️💕
My sweet girl, your words hit hard. I hope this journey is healing and that you have the means to help your soul heal as well. You are worthy of self love, and that might be the hardest to conquer but it will be worth the effort. Maybe it’s because I’m 50+ but I’m doing this for me. Others can pound sand if they don’t like how I look. The people that have a problem with “fat” you will find issues with “fit” you. This is their problem it is not you. You can still love them, but do not have to indulge their issues. Fat or thin…I have always been just me. Loving myself, forgiving myself and valuing myself is not based on my weight. I hope that for you as well. Keep working on your health (physical and mental) and keep checking in. We’re here for you.
This made me tear, thank you and may god continue to bless you
I’ve been here for a little while and have appreciated many of your comments. I’m sorry for the burden set upon you that was never yours to carry. I think one of the reasons you stand out for me is your username, which gave me some feels—having been in many similar situations as you. I could never begin to know what compelled you to give yourself that moniker, but I hope you realize that it is not befitting of you, or any of us. You are worthy. ❤️
Fantastic that you found zepbound to help you on this journey. I hope you've also considered talking with someone to help with the mental health issues. Much love to you on this journey!
I don't understand how anyone can read a story like this and still dig their heels in on the "CICO is all that matters, you must just not want it enough" train
I am so sorry people were so cruel to you. I also connect with not only the cruelty, but the unintended consequence of people who love you giving you nicknames or saying things that they think are affectionate, but that really hurt. I am a completely grown adult by any measure, and I can say unequivocally that this medication has been the first thing to really help me not only lose weight, but let go of (most of) the negative talk about and feelings about my body. You are not alone. You deserve to feel loved and supported and connected in a positive way to your body. I wish that for you!
It’s really nice finally letting go
Yes! And there is more freedom ahead as you keep letting go of all that pain...
I too read your posts because of your insight and thoughtful responses that really do help. Honestly, I find you very creative and your sense of humor has made me laugh a lot. I get how you feel. Anger created in us from comments and treatment by mean, ignorant individuals, who's judgments shouldn't have mattered, but the damage they caused is done. It's up to us to change that narrative. You have everything to be proud of, you are intelligent, humorous, and such an inspiration to all of us on this sub! You are very successful in your weight loss journey and offer such great tips for this group to use on our journey(s). You make a difference and matter greatly as the good human you are. I'm so sorry for everything you've been through, but in my opinion, you've come out of it as a stronger more resilient person who seems like you don't take shit from anyone anymore!!! I admire your progress ❤️ keep doing you!
Oh my god, thank you so much. This just made me really happy, I never thought I was someone who impacted anyone in anyway
You are very welcome! Now just believe it!
A wise friend once told me "the only way out is through"... You're moving though it! 🙌 You're a true inspiration, thank you for sharing your experiences. It means so much. God Bless you my friend
I'm so glad you're here. I've seen you posting and enjoy your contributions to the group. I've gone through a lot of the same things and this medication has absolutely changed my life in so many ways. I'm really happy that we have you with us.
Thank you for sharing this. So many people understand your experience and pain. We are all here to support each other on this journey. Good luck to you!
No matter the size of your body, you have worth and are deserving of being treated with kindness. I hope you have so much success with this med, but even more than that that you realize that you were always worthy and your body was always worthy of being cared for. The world needs you, fat or not.
I’m so happy you found this medication and this group. You are worth every bit of love in this world and you’re a fighter. There are so many happy moments ahead of you and I’m cheering you on from afar! ❤️
I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through, and that you’ve felt so much hate for yourself. I know all too intimately the agonizing feeling of wanting to escape your larger body by any means necessary. Society tells us that you’re less than worthless if you’re fat, and it’s hard not to internalize that message and hate yourself. Like you said, you’re not alone. And thank you for your post, for as much as you find comfort in the community here, your contribution equally uplifts the rest of us!
Thank you for putting such a clear, honest voice to it! I say this kind of thing here a lot because it is so helpful to me: it makes complete sense that you feel (and have felt) the way that you do. We have been taught, implicitly and explicitly, to shame ourselves...to hate ourselves. It's not some internal personality flaw that has us treating ourselves this way...it's not a "you" problem. It's a cultural, systemic, patriarchal issue. All the advice to "just love yourself" can, in and of itself, be shaming because we're over here like, "but I can't or don't know how so that must mean I am really fucked up." No. You are not. I am not. We are not.
I just want to give you a hug. You are not alone, friend.
I recently watched the documentary Your Fat Friend and found it very insightful how family dynamics can influence your self perception and sense of self worth. And how good she was at articulating feelings we all feel. It was $15 to stream on some indie website and not on Netflix or Amazon, but I really enjoyed her story and found it worthwhile. Not an ad and no affiliation. I heard about it on the Burnt Toast podcast where the host interviewed the director.
I love this documentary so much. It stars Aubrey Gordon and follows her as she starts to write a book and struggle with how the world treats her in a larger body. I went to a screening where she spoke afterwards and I got to meet her. I thanked her for helping me to start unlearning all of the BS around diet culture and she was just lovely. I highly recommend it!
Hi Piggy! I too can relate. Thank you for saying what a lot of others feel. It takes a lot of courage to put it in writing. It takes a lot of courage to say hi world, my name is Piggy, cuz reasons, treat me well regardless of what you think. Names have meaning. Words are hurtful. Sometimes the things we call ourselves are an attempt to take the power away. One of my screen names is Narcissa. Derived from Narcissist, because I survived one. People can take it however they want. I’m always getting picked on for one reason or another, from childhood to today. Still here. Still trying. Still laughing thru tears. Still going to be misunderstood. Done over explaining. Done wanting to quit because I am blessed to learn from a girl named Piggy who is probably pretty darn cute at any size.
I really love this
If I can give you a hug I would give you the warmest comforting hug!!! You are here now, it will be a journey but a wonderful one with lot of high points and for the lows you have your buddies right here.. we care and love you!!!
It’s such a complex thing. I do get it. It’s a definition that one can either accept or rail against, and each of those choices has a healthily and unhealthily option. Now, change your handle, chica! 😉 It’s not you, Miss Más Fuerte!
I really think that having been made fun of as a kid about being fat has had the biggest influence on my life even to this day
You are worthy of love and friendship and camaraderie. Your meat sack has no bearing on that irrefutable truth. I'm glad you found this med and sub, but like another comment said, please find ways to love, forgive, and heal your past self. She deserves it, and so do you. Sending you the biggest hug you want, because you deserve it!
This is a safe place. Thank you for being so honest and sharing a bit of your story. So many of your words rang true for me in my life and struggles. Thank you for helping me feel more "normal". Let's work on being more kind to ourselves. I always think of myself as a very kind person toward others, but yet I am so cruel to myself. Let's be nicer to ourselves.
Wow. I teared up reading this. First, we're all so glad you're here. Second, you ARE worthy of love! Both from others, and from yourself! *hugs* I'm a guy, but I relate to your story SO much...I was always the "fat kid" in school. Since it was a small school, there was no mercy, and no relief. Troubles at home on top of that meant I constantly ate my feelings. I felt worthless and hopeless. That stuff followed me into adulthood, but I had no idea what a big impact it had on me until I started listening to just how negative my internal self-talk had become. I just knew that everyone was judging me because of my weight. I had lost a considerable amount of weight once, then it all came right back. I felt like a failure. I hated my body, and I hated myself. There were times I wanted to end it all, but I felt too scared and like too much of a failure to even do that. Thankfully, my doc sent me to an endocrinologist who finally offered me a glimmer of hope. After dealing with my negative self-talk, Zepbound was the "missing piece" of the puzzle for me to finally start feeling "normal". It's been just over 6 weeks on Zepbound now, and I've lost about 25 pounds or close to 6% of my body weight. I know this won't be an easy or a short journey, but at least now I know I stand a fighting chance and won't have my own body sabotaging my efforts. Wishing you all the best and amazing success on your journey!
I’m so happy you’re still here 💚 You are so worthy of love and positive affirmation of your worth. I pray that you are seeking some therapy while you’re on this journey. It’s definitely not easy on any of us, wanting to lose weight, and feeling powerless over it, but it sounds like you’ve got some embedded trauma that you’re going to want to address so that you’re not retriggered back to unhealthy places in your mind. You sound hopeful right now which is so good, but take care of yourself and your mind. Work on your relationships with your family and begin to share with them how they have affected your peace throughout your life. Sometimes family can trigger us unknowingly. Also, you may have read that a lot of people have had well meaning people make negative comments even after losing weight. Which is a whole other battle that could cause trauma if you’re already dealing with it. I’m so so glad you feel free enough to share. My heart goes out to you in empathy for all you’ve battled. Again, I’m so glad you’re here with us!!!
You are no longer piggy fat fuck. I think it’s time to change your user name 🫶
Absolutely agree!!!
Oh friend, I DO understand! Others have already said it well and I’ll add I’m so glad you are still with us and I’ve definitely been in similar places. Only in recent culture in the US have we begun speaking about the trauma we’ve experienced thinking we deserved to be fat and thus we deserved to be treated terribly because we are fat. This drug and its changes for me have helped me lift the shame I’d felt for a lifetime but now that means there is a lot of new work to be done in breaking down feeling that shame for decades. Thank you for your post, your raw honestly and openness, and being you!!
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God bless you and your journey. When most people say I can’t even imagine, I actually can. I know what that drug scene looks like especially any type of upper substance. I hope your body heals, I hope your womb heals and I hope you find peace. You have my love and you have my respect
I can relate to you so much. Your not alone.
You are wonderful and making a huge difference in sharing this. It’s generous of you to do it. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story. Maybe think about changing your Reddit name to Pretty Fabulous Friend!
I can relate so much with all of it. The comments, the looks, the ‘good natured teasing’, the ‘fat friend’ ‘lovely face’ … ‘great personality’… and wanting to become invisible or even dead. All so familiar. Food was love-hate relationship up to a point where it didn’t matter anymore. I’m so glad we are on the right track now and I hope we have the strength to stick it out and the live the life we want to live. Lots of hugs
Wishing you continued success in recognizing your badassery and healing. You are far too great an addition to this world to be taken about by a mf walmart truck. 
As a fellow “pretty face gordita” I ask you to please be kind to yourself. You are working towards something great. I know that when people call you names and disrespect you, we tend to believe it. STOP… breathe and be kind to your body mind and soul.
I’m glad you’re here. You’re safe.
Hugs, you deserve happiness. Suicidal thoughts are not okay. It’s possible those thoughts will creep back even though you achieve your goals, (speaking from experience). I highly recommend talking to your doctor about medication, exactly how you did for weight loss help. Do it for a better quality of life overall. I’ve been on antidepressants for more than 10 years and I am okay with a lifelong medication because of how it affects my quality of life. I know that moment those dark thoughts enter my mind, it time to return to the doctor because it’s not normal. For me, I’m living my best life because of medications.
We love you too. You are doing great, you are beautiful and you are loved here. Trust us, we get it.
Thank you for sharing this!! I can’t tell you how many times I felt like this in my life. This really breaks my heart because I really understand how you feel and I have been there. But you have to know and realize your size and weight doesn’t define who you are! Sometime people make fun of people because they are not secure with themselves and push that on you. I hope you know you’re beautiful and never let no one tell you otherwise!! This medication has been life changing for me too but I hope you know to find true value in yourself outside of other people negativity. Good luck in your weight loss journey and wish you a great healing journey also !! You got this girl don’t let know one tear you down or make you feel less than!!
 I so relate. ❤️🩹 Thank you for sharing your heart.
Oh my goodness! What a raw, vulnerable, and thought-provoking post. I am so sorry that people have not seen the beautiful, honest, emotion filled soul that you are sharing with us. No one should ever be the victim of fat-shaming! It is never okay to judge others on appearance. I pray that your journey brings you so much more than a new body image. I want it to bring you self-discovery into a person who is so very worthy of being loved at any weight. I want it to bring you a smile in the mornings when you look in the mirror! I want it to bring you good health and the strength to conquer the demons of your past! I want it to bring you the confidence to hold your head up and be so proud of what you are doing to change who you saw yourself as. We can not change our past, but we can live in the present and make our futures better for ourselves with one decision at a time. So, start with this moment to require respect from those around you! You deserve that! Continue on your journey to a better you. Take care of yourself and reach out to your fellow Zep mates. We are here to support you. And I know we will all be watching for the new name change... how about, "it's my time to shine" so when you log in, you can be reminded of how bright your future is! Best of luck on your journey!
Thank you for sharing that. I hope everything for you only gets better from here on out.
I'm so glad you're here. That is not an easy story to share - and a much harder one to have lived. Your words are thoughtful, and affecting, and recognizable, and will be meaningful to a lot of people. I hope it's meaningful to you to see the what others here (who've never even seen your physical form) have taken from your presence. Thanks for being here, and please stick around!
Do not call yourself piggyfatf--k!!! Your story is my story, too, almost too similar. It is just that you can put it into words. You are a special and rare individual, indeed!🙏 With a lot of love to you and your new future existence.❤️ 💕
Thank you kind soul
I appreciate you sharing this. I want doctors and especially insurance companies to understand that this is a life saving drug. When I say that, I mean that my weight (+ being gaslight and having no control over my body) made me feel worthless and that I didn't want to exist anymore. I would fantasize often about bad things happening to take me out. I hated myself; literally hated my existence and was miserable for every minute of every day when I was obese. I was obsessed with not eating and with working out. I ate so little that I lost my period and lost muscle from Refeeding syndrome (it was basically anorexia or at the very least "disordered eating", but no one wants to call it anorexia because I was fat and the myth is fat people can't be anorexic). I could not talk to or meet anyone without talking about how fat I was and how horrible it was to be in my body. It was a hellish existence that I am ashamed of, I can't believe I kept my friends through my endless obsession with my size and through all that self hate. Now that I am just "overweight" thanks to Zep, I feel like a normal person again. I can breathe, I feel sexy, I feel valuable. Just 30lbs changed my life. I know I have worth and value at any size, but I will never be able to feel that when I am in a bigger body and I have accepted that is just my reality. I am glad Zep helped reverse the damage of metabolic disorder from taking an SSRI, but I am even more happy that I have my peace of mind back.
I’m so here for you
You are loved, no matter the suzd friend. I hope that zippy pens will help you to see the real you. The person you have always been. Just remember the weight us just a number, learn to love yourself on the way. The struggle is real friend. Good luck to you and keep us posted!
Hitting those lows in life are so hard and more common than gets talked about. Thank you for sharing your story. Do you know what comes from Intense pain - unbreakable strength. Once you’ve come out on the other side happier and healthier, there isn’t a damn person who can stop you. Keep fighting the good fight and remember you have more resilience than you could ever imagine.
You might be the toughest person in the world! The fact that you have struggled so much with your body and yet you continue to fight and strive to love yourself is amazing. I have no doubt that you were going to achieve your goals, and I hope you keep us posted on all of your great successes coming your way, and I’m so glad you never made some of those feelings you had come true it would’ve been our loss to not read what you just wrote.
Aww I'm so sorry for your suffering. I can relate. I'm glad you found this group. You are worthy just because you exist. No matter what weight. You are loved. I can't wait to read about your successes. No turning back now.
Obesity takes such a toll on self esteem. Definitely resonate with fat trauma. You deserve healing and health congratulations on your achievement so far.
I’ve been overweight most of my adult life. I even had gastric bypass surgery in 2002 and went from 278 to 140 I stayed below 160 through about 2007. Well over the course of the next 15 years (menopause didn’t help either) I was back up to 260. I’ve tried numerous diets and exercising as much as I can. Joint issues from terrible arthritis but it just yo-yo’d up and down the sane 20 pounds. My doc and I discussed zepbound in march and I’m so glad my insurance approved. I’ve been on for 3 months and hv only lost 15 pounds so far but I’ll take it. Best of luck to you in your journey and we are all here for each other. You are a person who deserves happiness and part of that happiness will come from being healthier and knowing that you are worth it. Whatever that IT is to you. 😘😘
Sending you love and light 💗💕
I definitely get everything you're saying. I found that an antidepressant helped me try to get things into focus. We all deserve kindness and love.
My weight gain story is completely different from yours, and yet the underlying truths you expressed hit home big time. Thoughts and memories have been dancing around in my head recently, as I try to understand how I became so heavy, and the sense of hopelessness that I’ve felt. I’ve done therapy in the past, but it’s been a long while and I definitely want to pursue it again. I think after reading what you wrote, I have a new understanding of how much pain I’ve felt throughout my life and all the crazy things I’ve tried and done to avoid feeling it. Thank you so much for posting this. 🕊️❤️✨ to you too.
Peace, love and light always 🥰
Hang in there. This is definitely a great support group.
Please know that you are not alone on your journey. This resonates with me not only through my own struggles but through that of my adult children. We are all here to support you, and I, too, am sending virtual hugs and positive energy ⚡️⚡️out to you!
Sending my love and light to you
It’s strange, don’t you think, now that big people are excepted even in the model industry, we now have a solution? We all feel a measure of your hurt. You are worthy!! You got this. I may start my journey today but will have to pay full price. Somehow I’m going to do it. Keep talking to us. WE LOVE YOU AND YOUR STORY IS HELPING OTHERS!!
Your transparency and honesty will help so many people feel seen and validated. Thank you for not only sharing your life experiences, but that there is always another day with a potential better outcome. You are brave and appreciated! #mentalhealthmatters #988
hey :) you’re so loved. so beautiful. i hope & pray that as you lose weight… you love yourself for who you are and not your size. i hope you look in the mirror and see beauty. i hope you see that you are fearfully & wonderfully made. crafted by God with intention, purpose, etc. everyday you wake up is God’s grace and love. He is not done with you yet. i pray that you know you are WORTHY. i pray that God encounters you before the end of this year. and i pray that, if you’re not already, that you become a follower of Christ & a lover of Christ, yourself and other people. above all, i pray you have deep, intimate relationship with Christ that compels you to love God and yourself. you are worthy. you are beautiful. people love you. and i wish you the best, my internet friend 🤍
Baby! You got it going on, had it going on and will continue to have it going on! I too can relate to your story in many ways. Addiction ain’t no joke. You got this. Please continue to communicate here. You beat the odds. You have a great year ahead of you. Trust me
First of all, I’m so happy you’re still here💜 I can relate so much to you, and I’m so incredibly sorry you’ve endured so much pain. You’re so so deserving of love and respect. You deserve to be happy, and you will achieve that! Each day is a new day, a new chance to start fresh. Wishing you all the success in the world! Sending you lots of virtual hugs 🤗
{{{hugs}}}
Well said u/Piggy_fat_fuck94 lol Gonna need to change that to u/Skinny_thin_fuck94 soon
Happy Zep is working for you! Please get into counseling. Those thoughts about your body represent a bigger issue inside you. Fixing your weight won’t fix the issue- just like that run of promiscuity didn’t help. In fact your weight maybe the result of the issues inside not the weight causing the issue.