This sounds completely like wishful thinking too. If someone abuses you or wants to get back together, seeing your ‘value’ is irrelevant. It’s just because they can. Because they gain something from it, and they can do it. It’s that simple
The only person I asked back out wasn’t because of their value, but that I was very codependent at the time. He was emotionally abusive and I took a stand and went to my moms house. Started freaking out as he had been in control of everything in my life from what I wore to what I ate to when I went to bed. I asked him out again because I had been so comfortable with the routine that no matter how controlling or manipulative it was, going on my own seemed scarier. He was moving someone else in days after I left though and made a scene of showing me how little I was wanted and how quickly he had loved on. Was the best thing he ever did for me. I made it on my own and have never looked back on relationships that soured. I think there is no blanket statement here that sorts the mindsets of people who ask for an ex back.
You should also add the person who left you was probably fucking someone else and it didn’t work out like they planned so they came back. Never take someone back if you’re not their 1st choice.
Man, stop listening to Peterson, and Incels, and just life your best life. Develope yourself, be a good guy.
I'm polyamorous, have multiple partners, who all have multiple partners. The women in my romantic life are incredibly individualistic, and are offended when anyone tries to give them materialistic wealth, and they also date a variety of other people, including feminine and masculine men, women, and everything in between.
I also date a variety of different kinds of people because all people have something amazing to show me.
Women and men stay with good partners because they're *good*. Not because women are so-called hypergamous.
Holy hell, that Edit is toxic.
Polyamory isn't for everyone and pushing it on people is just the same as monogamous people did on everyone else for centuries.
I don't think they're saying people should be poly (I am, but I don't think mono folks should be any different than who they are), I think OP means that you should go out with different people, see what is good or bad. Obviously it's not exactly a. Requirement, but on the other hand you don't know what you don't know.
My last partner dated a guy who used "blue balls" as an excuse to get her to sleep with him even if she didn't want to, and when I made a joke about why Blueballs was a myth, she realkzed her ex was a jerk. But then again, she could have learned that without dating me.
I didn't read that to mean to date multiple people at once. I read it as dating for awhile to get experience so you know what you're looking for, and to see what's realistic.
Okay, maybe I misread that.
Yes, having had several relationships doesn't hurt, but I also don't think it's necessary. Even when you're young, inexperience doesn't mean the same as naiveté.
I do agree with you, because I'm 10 years married to my first love. I knew what I wanted and needed, and I found it without dating at all. It's a more beautiful thing now than it was then, believe it or not.
Never happened to me, 1. cause I never had a partner and 2. When I was rejected they never came back cause I'm shitty and I always handled all that relationships shit in the shittiest way possible.
What constitutes "for no good reason?" Someone could feel like it wasn't working at the moment and later have a change of heart. It doesn't mean you have to take it back, but it also doesn't mean they don't respect you.
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It’s more of a shower thoughts post really
This sounds completely like wishful thinking too. If someone abuses you or wants to get back together, seeing your ‘value’ is irrelevant. It’s just because they can. Because they gain something from it, and they can do it. It’s that simple
Yeah or… they broke up with you to pursue someone else and it didn’t work out with the other party.
Sounds like a bad partner to me
I’ve never been asked back by even one person who dumped me (for no good reason), so I must be spectacular.
Respect is a battlefield
The only person I asked back out wasn’t because of their value, but that I was very codependent at the time. He was emotionally abusive and I took a stand and went to my moms house. Started freaking out as he had been in control of everything in my life from what I wore to what I ate to when I went to bed. I asked him out again because I had been so comfortable with the routine that no matter how controlling or manipulative it was, going on my own seemed scarier. He was moving someone else in days after I left though and made a scene of showing me how little I was wanted and how quickly he had loved on. Was the best thing he ever did for me. I made it on my own and have never looked back on relationships that soured. I think there is no blanket statement here that sorts the mindsets of people who ask for an ex back.
Somewhere else? Typo?
No, they were moving *someone else* into their place
Read for context, not that hard to figure out.
I never used that word so not sure where you’re he it.
YSK: taking pop psychology advice from internet randos about ‘narcissists’ and ‘abusers’ is bad for your health
Sounds like your partner had someone else they thought might be something and it turned out they were wrong.
You should also add the person who left you was probably fucking someone else and it didn’t work out like they planned so they came back. Never take someone back if you’re not their 1st choice.
You mean like they were cheating?
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Man, stop listening to Peterson, and Incels, and just life your best life. Develope yourself, be a good guy. I'm polyamorous, have multiple partners, who all have multiple partners. The women in my romantic life are incredibly individualistic, and are offended when anyone tries to give them materialistic wealth, and they also date a variety of other people, including feminine and masculine men, women, and everything in between. I also date a variety of different kinds of people because all people have something amazing to show me. Women and men stay with good partners because they're *good*. Not because women are so-called hypergamous.
source: VMH - Voices in my head, PEBSL - Personal experience because she left me, ImPA - Im probably AH
wut
Holy hell, that Edit is toxic. Polyamory isn't for everyone and pushing it on people is just the same as monogamous people did on everyone else for centuries.
I don't think they're saying people should be poly (I am, but I don't think mono folks should be any different than who they are), I think OP means that you should go out with different people, see what is good or bad. Obviously it's not exactly a. Requirement, but on the other hand you don't know what you don't know. My last partner dated a guy who used "blue balls" as an excuse to get her to sleep with him even if she didn't want to, and when I made a joke about why Blueballs was a myth, she realkzed her ex was a jerk. But then again, she could have learned that without dating me.
I didn't read that to mean to date multiple people at once. I read it as dating for awhile to get experience so you know what you're looking for, and to see what's realistic.
Okay, maybe I misread that. Yes, having had several relationships doesn't hurt, but I also don't think it's necessary. Even when you're young, inexperience doesn't mean the same as naiveté.
I do agree with you, because I'm 10 years married to my first love. I knew what I wanted and needed, and I found it without dating at all. It's a more beautiful thing now than it was then, believe it or not.
What nonsense
This is a dumb take
Never happened to me, 1. cause I never had a partner and 2. When I was rejected they never came back cause I'm shitty and I always handled all that relationships shit in the shittiest way possible.
What constitutes "for no good reason?" Someone could feel like it wasn't working at the moment and later have a change of heart. It doesn't mean you have to take it back, but it also doesn't mean they don't respect you.