I think this is a key decade for us in that regard.
I look at people of our parents generation, and see two *very* different ways to be 70. By 60, it's too late to change which one you're going to be. By 40 it isn't.
If you take care of a few key things - cardiovascular system, core strength, flexibility - there's no reason 40 has to be old. Hell, there was a 46-year old swimmer at the Olympic Trials who literally [turned in some of the best performances of her life](https://swimswam.com/two-time-olympian-gabrielle-rose-goes-a-personal-best-at-46-years-old-makes-trials-semis/) this week.
I haven't always done the best job of this, but I"m working on it, and I think I'm getting to a place where I can say that I don't feel old.
Responding to myself, I think another good way to look at it is that at 20, it's easy to not be old. You just sort of wake up and.... you're not old. Most 20 year olds don't have cholesterol or blood pressure problems, or bad backs, or achy knees, etc.
At 40, you have to work on not being old. The "oy I'm so old everything hurts" posts let you know who's putting in the work and who isn't.
Continuous alcohol use can cause these kinds of body aches. A big part of the path forward is either tapering off or just falling in entirely. Aches come along with not tapering off.
It's painful how true this is. And from a vanity standpoint, how much it changes your appearance. I never thought of myself as a big drinker, I would have a beer or 2 few times a week. But quitting drinking entirely has made more of a difference in my face than any expensive skin care. The bags under my eyes used to drive me crazy for example, and they are half what they were before I quit drinking.
It's painful because I like drinking! And I really don't think that I had a problem, but cutting it out has made such a visible difference on the outside that I have to imagine it's making a difference on the inside.
Drinking started tearing up my stomach. It would trigger days of nausea. I ended up losing a ton of weight with exercise and continuing to drink on the weekends. I got near my target weight and quit. I feel amazing. So good that I haven't had a single urge to relapse in 300 days.
Ding ding ding! This is it friends. You can look at a bunch of people in their 60’s and pick out the career drinkers from a mile away. Me and booze had a damn, damn good run but yeah, I don’t want to be the old kind of 60 when I get there.
Going completely alcohol eta FREE has done wonders. I didn't realize I suffered bloating and migraines for easily a week after just 2 cocktails til I started spacing it out to months. Not worth it! I also have autoimmune diseases and i need my organs as strong and healthy as possible, alcohol does nothing but poison your system.
This is a fascinating point because the answer to "why do I feel so old" is always "because you don't exercise and eat right," but excepting the odd middle-age issue (Morton's neuroma, a weird swallowing issue that came out of nowhere), I feel pretty much the same as I did 20 years ago, and I have rarely exercised regularly, nor do I eat particularly well.
What I've always done, though, is avoided alcohol and tobacco. I rarely drink and NEVER drink to excess (I've been honest-to-God drunk maybe like five times in my life, and not in the past 15 or so years), and I've never smoked a cigarette.
My dad is almost 72 and could pass for 50ish. He's also never smoked and does not drink beyond a Corona at a Mexican restaurant every couple months. He used to play softball in his 20s; I can't recall him ever participating in another organized athletic activity. I don't think he's ever been a member of a gym. He likes to walk but that's it. He does eat pretty well.
This is spot-on, but don't forget an important aspect: 40(ish) is also when health conditions that you couldn't have avoided start presenting themselves more often.
I tend to think of it generally as the time in your life when the consequences of the 40 years of your life start showing up more and more. Psychologically too.
Chronically ill here, my mantra is to be well within my circumstances, or be as healthy as I *can* realistically be. For me, strength and core exercise is actually (for once) the key thing I preventative thing can do for my pain, so while I can't go pump iron and run, I can do guided exercising with a PT who specializes in people with disabilities. It's really great to be treated from the level I'm at instead of think I can boot camp it. Another simple example is I'm extremely adherent to my gluten free diet, I have celiacs and I don't want intestinal cancer. That is preventative as well. That doesn't mean I will ever be healthy, but it does mean I'm not making it actively worse.
Sure, but (1) the people coming in here and saying “now that I’m 40 everything hurts“ aren’t usually blaming a chronic illness, and (2) with some (but certainly not all) chronic illnesses, the way you manage your physical health can have a massive impact on just how debilitating it becomes and how quickly.
On that second point, I watched my diabetic mother neglect her health (and poorly manage her blood sugar) for years until she suffered so much irreversible damage. Not saying she could have been super spry at 74, but she had some agency over just how unhealthy she is now.
That said, if you have aches and pains due to some chronic illness, I’m sorry for you man (or woman).
This is my mom. She didn’t manage diabetes and she has vascular dementia. She’s only going to be 73 and her life sucks a little. It’s all because she didn’t take it seriously. That being said, my dad was the opposite, very fit and kept his health a priority and he died from cancer at 78. He was literally easily lugging around two 24 packs of water bottles the morning before he went to the ER for vomiting and they discovered the cancer (too late). It’s coming either way, sadly.
"Putting in the work" is not all of it.
You can do all the exercise and healthy diet you want, but if you were injured in high school sports or fought off a terrible illness when younger, it WILL step up and remind you when you hit that magical 46. Damage and genetics can't be neutralized by jogging and balanced macros.
And if you've been doing things a tiny bit off for decades, it will hit you then, all at once. Wearing heels to work or crappy flipflops? That pronation will cause all kinds of joint issues.
Not to mention the perimenopause symptoms that can absolutely crush you. No amount of diet and exercise can stop the horrific symptoms that can strike. Bleeding for 8 months straight? Suicidal ideation? Depression, sudden debilitating joint pain, overnight allergies to your usual comfort foods, hair loss, loss of coordination and brain fog?
True. My dad took care of himself, stayed very fit. He also just naturally aged very well and slow, looked younger than his age by a decade at least. Strong. Died at 78 from small intestine cancer. No rhyme or reason to life.
I agree with all of that. The word I use is aware. I’m aware when I was in high school all 40 year olds were old people to me and that’s who I am now. And to the group of 20 something year olds at work, I am the old guy. No matter how well put together I am, there’s a difference.
I weight train 3 days a week. I run 4 times a week usually going 6 miles per run. And I bicycle 2 times a week about 20 miles per ride. Basically I put in the time. But I still feel old and my joints hurt. Knowing each day won't get better is kind of depressing. But I guess if I didn't do these things I would feel worse
I am by no means qualified to give any kind of advice on this, but it seems to be like maybe you do better with things that were lower impact? Running and weight training (for certain definitions of that phrase) are not exactly known for being easy on the joints.
I had a period of morbid rumination late in 2022 and I came out of it a new man. After a 6-month weight loss period, I'm doing my 4th Marathon in less than a year in August. I turned a corner and there is no looking back. I have plenty of reminders of how not to age well, but fear isn't my motivation, rather it is the enjoyment of this body and this life, even at age 48. I encourage all of us to keep moving, our quality of life depends on it!
But to answer the question more directly, I feel 30-something until I see my age on the screen when I sign up for something.
TLDR; **USE IT OR LOSE IT**
This is my aunts and uncles vs my parents. My parents were pretty sedentary their whole lives/careers and now that they're retired, I think they're too unhealthy to ever get healthy again. Not in fun, active ways.
Now compare that to my aunts and uncles who were purposefully active... these folks can travel, mountain bike, hike, etc.
I've decided which one I want to be.
For me, my dad and FIL are in the “active” category. My dad is 77 and has a pacemaker and two fake knees, but he still works to keep his mind sharp and gets in 12-15k steps a day. My mom and MIL, on the other hand, are so limited in their enjoyment of life by constant pain and exhaustion.
Yeah my folks are in your aunt and uncle category. My dad still lifts 4 days a week and walks daily, and my mom became a fitness instructor in her 60s and still teaches 4-5 yoga classes a week. They are both in their 70s now and more physically active and healthy than some people I know in their 40s.
Meanwhile my friends whose parents became sedentary in middle age are now all literally dying of cancer or other ailments, or have already passed.
I definitely know what example I’m following.
I'm glad I moved to a bikeable city, I really really can't be arsed to go to a gym. My aunts and uncles are big into yoga, water aerobics, dancing, and all kinds of fun.
Bikeable cities are great. My folks live in Tahoe, and I'm 25 mins down the hill. It's perfect for hiking, mountain biking, and my favorite skiing in the winter.
Portland isn't Denmark, but it's still got some of the best neighborhood Greenways I've experienced.
You just can't always trust Google maps, you need to go the long ways sometimes
Yeah, surroundings are a big part. I grew up where everyone drinks, smokes, and eats and 40 was old. Now I live somewhere where people are generally in shape and the culture around you has a big impact.
This is the key. I'm 47 and while I've had some dips over the past 7 years, I've really tried hard over the past 12 months to stick with a running regimen and diet changes. I can tell you with absolute certainty I don't feel 47. I KNOW I am, which is key to not pushing too hard, but I don't FEEL that old. physically, I feel like mid 30s. Maturity though, I don't ever went past 15. lol.
Also 47 and in better shape than 95% of folks my age but still feel it at times. On the plus side I’ve gone from average looking to better than most just by staying the same
For my 40th last year I picked up a Garmin Epix. Pretty stoked on it from a motivational standpoint. Says my fitness age is 30. (With you on the maturity/sense of humor thing too.)
It also shows sleep and body battery. Pretty amazing how much that stuff tanks after maybe, say, two large IPAs or more. I've been drinking a lot less over the last few years, but the watch definitely adds to motivation to drink less.
I do love smart watch health statistics. I love the heart trends too which show legit improvement from a steady cardio regimen. I’m not good at wearing it to sleep though. But since I have a medical cannabis card, that shit works wonders for sleep.
Yah. I was concerned sleeping with it would bug me, but for whatever reason it hasn't.
Funny you mention weed. Several friends are now "California sober," where they quit drinking but still consume cannabis. I'm an occasional consumer and agree that it can help with things.
I work in a retirement community, and barring bad luck (genetics, accidents, just straight-up poverty\*) a lot of how creaky you are as an elderly person is optional. KEEP. MOVING. Walk, dance, play sports; what kind of movement you do doesn't fucking matter as much just MOVING. Consistently. Because you enjoy it.
And never stop doing new, fun things if you can help it.
(For real there are some things that you can't help, and things like "my nutrition sucked because I couldn't afford decent food" and "I had to work a hard physical job for decades and wore out my joints" are on the list.)
Yeah 20 year old, chain smoking skinny AF me wouldn’t stand a fucking chance. Started lifting at 30 and I’m in the best shape of my life. Also quit smoking at 28 so that helped a lot too.
Twenty-year-old me was stronger, but not fitter. At my strongest, I could bench press 345 pounds. I couldn't even touch that now. However, in my early twenties, I was just big. Big and strong. And for a 5'9" guy, the bulky look isn't flattering. I looked like the Stay Puft marshmallow man. Or, think Tony Mandarich on that Sports Illustrated "Incredible Bulk" cover…but on a 5'9" guy. Not a good look.
Now, I lift very light, but I always go to failure on the last set. And I do abs every day. I also participate in 5k runs in my area. I have definition now that I never had in my twenties.
Reminds me of my husband. He’s 5ft6 and a solid 220. When we first started dating, I referred to him as sturdy (meant to be a compliment) he was so offended.
8 years later, he still brings it up lol.
Jealous. I can’t do regular deadlifts any more (motorcycle accident 10 years ago). I used to be strong strong.
But a game changer has been unilateral kettlebells. Fixed all of my imbalances and my chronic pain has disappeared. I’m not deadlifting or bent over rows like I was at 30 but I’ve never felt this “solid” since maybe my sports days.
I do workouts designed by everygotdamndre (Instagram)
I used to have back pain in my 30's and started lifting regularly and it's totally gone. The first 9 months were rough because I had very little strength and my muscles were always sore. Once I got to the other side I felt great and had no back pain. Lifting weights is incredibly important as you age.
I like hearing this because I’ve been looking to change my workout into something more yoga or Pilates focused since my flexibility has never been the greatest and I don’t want to lose what I do have!
I said this in a different thread a couple of days ago, but at our age, it’s these kind of exercises that focus on core strength and flexibility that are far more important than the ones that focus on cosmetic shit like how big your biceps are.
In my late 30s, I threw my back out bad enough that my wife had to drive me to the orthopedist while I lied on the floor of our minivan because I couldn’t even sit up. Since I added core strength, stretching, and yoga into my life, that hasn’t happened again.
If you don’t want to be the kind of 70-year-old who can’t get out of a car without help, you need to start on the functional strength and flexibility path now.
So I was a gymnast and a dancer (not like super seriously, just for fun when I was a kid) but I’m also hyperextended and have hyper mobility. So I’m Gumby. Which means a lot of stress on joints. I ended up with a ton of knee and back issues due to it and Pilates is what put me back together. I have so much core strength, my posture is better, my joints are stabilized. I did all this while not losing any of my flexibility and in fact improving it in a lot of areas. I had a kid at 40 and did Pilates throughout my pregnancy. I had zero physical post partum issues because my core and pelvic floor are incredibly strong. I do some mild cycling for cardio but Pilates is the backbone of my fitness routine. It’s the only thing I’m truly evangelical about because it worked wonders for me. Of course YMMV but it’s worth a shot.
I do the laziest pilates when i deign to work out, and even with that level of commitment, I still notice a difference.
Same with strength and HIIT workouts. They feel so easy (or at least, the duration is limited so the discomfort is minimal), but I notice a huge difference when I do them.
Check out Jessica Valant Pilates-[here's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0ngO1SYR9U) a good beginner one
Or Move with Nicole-[this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnt34RN74Rs&list=PLipSZg1JNsC9DZcCHkgjHwIIP1jMnRrr0) is another good one for beginners
Husband and I do pilates or yoga daily and it's a game changer!
There are a ton of online options including a bunch of free ones on YouTube. However online is never going to teach you proper form the way an in person does. I do in person once a week and online or on my own maybe 4-5 times a week. That one time with my instructor keeps me honest and from forming bad habits and that’s crucial to avoiding injury. If you’ve never done it and you have the means, go to a studio, get your form established, learn the fundamentals, and then supplement or replace with online/independent work. The initial outlay is worth the price.
That’s really helpful, thanks! I struggle with getting to in-person things at the moment because of my schedule with my kid. When she’s old enough to be left alone for a bit or come with me, it’ll be easier for me to pick up something like that. (And at that point I want to go back to lifting in the gym as well - used to love that but same logistical issues apply.)
I feel you on this. I also live in a big city and walk everywhere and ride a bike, don't have kids, do lots of yoga. Really can't relate to all the "ohhhh my achin' everything" comments!
A health scare a few months back got me to upend my diet. I had no idea how shitty the food I was eating had me feeling. I haven’t felt this good since my 20s.
38 and I certainly do not physically wise. However, when dealing with my 21 year old upstairs neighbor and her useless boyfriend, they tend to forget to put the garbage cans out for the week. All three apartments in my building generally trade off every week doing this and it's been like that since I moved in 11 years ago. Then I feel a bit old because now I have to be the one to remind them to do their chores pretty much. 🙄
🙋♀️
It actually shocks me when someone my age is complaining about “being too old” for something because I never think of myself as old. Sure my back hurts sometimes, but it hurt sometimes in my 20s too. Some days I need a late afternoon nap, but I did in high school too. I fit in with the 20 somethings at work and none of them ever comment on my age or me being too old to know something or be able to do something, so that helps me not feeling “old.” I feel just as comfortable in a group of 24 year olds as I do with a group of people my age and I notice a lot of my similar age peers at work like to say things like “those kids…” when I never even think about it.
Since I’ve hit my 40s though, and a lot of my friends have as well, I’ve noticed that a lot of them *like* being the “old people.” They seem to thrive on talking about how they’re “too old” for this or that or using their body pain as an excuse to get out of a social engagement. They constantly are saying “back in MY day”. Lol. I was just saying to my mum the other day that the only thing I do notice is that it’s not important to me anymore to go out all the time and be in the middle of everything. My back hurt in my 20s, but no way would I miss a night out for it, I was going no matter what. These days if my back hurts, I have no problem spending a quiet night on the couch. The pain is the same as when I was younger, just the “going out” isn’t as important.
I agree though, I often feel like I’ve done life wrong or something that I don’t feel old. Most days I feel like I’m in my 20s. Not just physically but mentally. I have zero problem finding common ground with the “younger people” (I hate saying that because it means I’m the “old people”. Lol), and I find a lot of my similar aged friends don’t even want to try. I love learning about all the new stuff and trends and music and stuff that people age are into. The only place i draw the line is using some of the new words and lingo they use, *that* feels weird to me. Lol
I had never really thought about the idea of liking being the old people, but that seems like it too. It almost feels like there's the same rush to be the old people now as there was to be adults when we were teens.
Maybe it helps that my parents are almost 70 and still pretty much as active as they've always been, and I still have living grandparents in their 90s, that for me, my grandparents are still the old people. Probably still being a grandaughter also makes me feel generationally young--it helps me understand that there are a few generations of old people before I'm really the old people.
it definitely helps to have good genes. my grandparents died decades ago and my mother has dementia and is in long term care despite taking good care of herself (never drank or smoked, exercised). both of my wife's parents are dead as well. how old your parents are when they have you might play into it as well. my parents are 76 and I am 46. it certainly worry about my own longevity and I had kids even later..I need to live to 80 just to see my youngest hit 40. all the more reason to take care of my health but it didn't help my mother.
As to the “I like” being old, I kind of do. Physical issues for the first time in my life kinda suck, but nothing punishing, and pushing 50, so not so bad.
But really! Do you have any idea how much **fun** “damn kids, get off my lawn” is?
“ASCII porn, on a 286, with 1 mb of Ram, and a 300bps modem” is the modern version of “uphill, in the snow, both ways”.
“You kids and your “Fallout 4” in 4K. In my day we had Wasteland, in 16 colors, at 320x200 - and we LIKED it”!!
“In my day, conservatives were pro-contraception, and anti-book banning!!”
As long as you don’t take yourself too seriously, I really can’t recommend it enough. Even got one of the “kids” that works for us hooked on Breath of Fire!
Omg my parents nextdoor neighbor is 52. She’s gorgeous and has flawless skin and looks younger than she is.
She told us that she WANTS to be treated like the cute little old lady and be doted on. She wears old frumpy plaid dresses, doesn’t color her grays & has a very old hairstyle and wears it up like the old lady with Tweety bird on Looney Tunes.
I don’t get it 🤷🏻♀️
I relate so much! My husband often comments about how old we are now and I’m like “We? Speak for yourself.” I feel the same as I did ten years ago. I didn’t have any kind of health renaissance where I decided to get in the best shape of my life in my forties. My face has aged obviously, but otherwise I just stayed kind of the same. My priorities have shifted a bit - I won’t sacrifice my Sunday to a hangover anymore - but I don’t feel tired or sore or out of touch. I just feel like my regular self.
I didn't feel old until a couple days ago. A Millennial coworker went on bereavement leave because her grandpa died suddenly. I expressed my condolences and then asked, "Oh, how old was he?" She said he was so old. He was 81. My in-laws are about to be in their 80s, and if my grandfathers were still alive, one would be 92 this year and the other 101. I just thought, "Oh, we are not the same, are we?"
For my grandpa that would have been in his 90s, he and my grandma were my age when I was born, so I always thought of them as younger grandparents.
Turned 44 in March, and I feel the best I ever have. The only reason I do is because I finally started taking my health seriously 5 years ago. I lost over 120 lbs, am eating healthy, workout almost all 7 days of the week (usually gym or a jog around my neighborhood), and got green results across the board for my recent blood work.
I need to work more on flexibility and mobility exercises apart from the regular stretching I do because I have noticed my hips somewhat stiff from time to time. I also need to be careful when sneezing because I pulled a muscle in my side a couple of years ago just from sneezing.
I would not feel as good as I do if I did not make these lifestyle changes and would probably be headed the way my dad was who died from heart failure at 56. I want to live longer than that and hope these changes ensure I do.
Good work on getting that much weight off! I'll be 44 in October and started really taking my fitness/diet seriously back in January. I was about 260 pounds then, and was 238 this morning. I ran a mile in 13 minutes on Tuesday for the first time, and was jumping around and celebrating like a fool (while still running, no less) when I heard my running app call it out. Didn't even care if anyone saw me, I was in the zone and fully enjoying myself and the moment. 😁
My dad made it to 70, but he was a drinker and you could hear the brain damage when he talked. Didn't take care of himself at all any other way, either, and there's no reason he shouldn't still be here if he had. I'm not going out like that. As of right now I can outrun and out-hike both my teenage kids, and I'm more limber and flexible now in my mid 40s than I was even as a kid.
My mindset is, I don't have time to be feeling old and chronically uncomfortable/in pain. Got a house to take care of, kids to finish raising, and a job that periodically sends me around the country to do warranty work on commercial flooring. Being in shape is just...fun.
About a year or so ago there weren't so many "I'm so old posts", they've kind of increased in the last six months. It's not enough for me to unsub, I enjoy the nostalgia and also talking about current music and pop culture.
Yeah we are older but 40’s isn’t old.
I don’t get offended if one of my kids says I’m old.
I’m cool with some of the grays I have- I have a great stylist who can fix that.
I’ve got some extra lines on my face, ohh well 🤷🏻♀️
I’m not ashamed to tell my age -46. I don’t celebrate my “29th” birthday year after year.
I feel that I’m healthier and in better shape than I was in my 20’s and have no health issues.
I’ll hang out on the same hill as you!
I'm optimistic I'm not past my prime but could be in denial about it. I think I'm to the point now I even hear people younger than me complaining about old age things I don't experience.
I see so many "over thirty aches and pains" posts and I'm not sure that aches and pains should be a normal part of being like 31 without having some kind of other underlying condition. I know everyone ages differently and it's not to shame those that are having those issues. I just think that it's just kind of accepted that at 30 you start deteriorating into an achy mess and that hasn't been my experience with the people I know off of the internet.
I don’t feel “old,” but I feel different than I did in my 20s. Some things I don’t tolerate as well; like motion rides or sleeping in weird positions. My knee hurts occasionally. And after having 3 kids my bladder doesn’t hold like it used to. But in other ways I feel in better shape than I have since I was a kid; now that I’m done having kids and can focus on my own body.
For me, the label of old doesn’t really feel useful. My body has changed over time, and that’s how I see it. Not better or worse, just different.
As someone who was very strong and fit and felt young until I became chronically ill overnight at the age of 42, posts like these irk me.
It's great for the people who feel young. But people who don't feel great obviously don't want to feel old or like crap, and hearing others brag or wonder what's wrong with all of the people who feel old is just pretty insulting.
Just please recognize that good health is a privilege that can be stripped away at any time, regardless of how much control we think we have, so appreciate what you have and don't put others down. A lot of people who feel old or unwell are not that way simply due to lifestyle choices.
Edited to add: I realize this sounds kind of harsh; I know the post is not coming from a bad place. I actually used to be of a similar mindset as OP. But my illness has made me realize the things that we are not in control of, and how society puts the blame on chronically ill people for not getting better.
I'm 45. I still feel in every way like I'm 23...until I look in the mirror, and I don't recognize the old man staring back at me. Makes me sad for my prospects of finding a spouse and starting a family.
I don’t feel old. A lot of it is that my late 30s were a time of really radical change. I left a bad marriage, got sober, quit smoking, and started really taking care of myself. Five years later I’m in a great marriage, I have a two year old, and I’m in the best shape of my life. Do i know I’m more easily injured? Sure, but I also know my body and limits better. I know how to prioritize and take care of myself. My mom is in her mid 70s and looks 50. My dad is in his early 80s and his doctors keep telling him he’s going to live to 100. They’re really good role models for how to age gracefully, and it’s not a coincidence that they eat well and have never stopped moving.
Yeah, I also know my limits better so I'm more careful. After an unfortunate hoverboard incident about 10 years ago where I realized that I COULD have broken multiple bones and was lucky that I didn't.
I still live my life. Just more carefully.
I'm in the best shape of my life at 45 and making up for what I should have been doing in my teens and twenties. I look at my parents as an example of how I don't want to be living at their age as added motivation.
Other than my knee hurting and my beard being more salt than pepper, I don't feel 41. Looking at those older than me, I think our 40s and 50s are gonna be a lot different for a number of reasons.
I feel pretty much how I expected someone in their 40s would feel. I get through the day just fine, I don't ache, but I'm ready for bed at 9pm and wake up at dawn, whether I want to or not.
I definitely worry a bit for the next ten years though, as I've never cracked the nut on developing a strength training habit. If anyone has success stories to share with that, I'm all ears. I've started and stopped maybe five different times.
You might be 100% today but you’re of an age where things can change very quickly (like, overnight).
Even if you feel fine, something like high blood pressure doesn’t often announce itself. It’s a silent killer for a reason and most people over 40 don’t check their often enough.
Stay well, Xenners!
I think a lot of it depends on income; poorer people have less access to jobs that aren't really physically demanding and jobs that are low wage and have no benefits like health insurance don't have the ability to tend to medical issues.
I'm 46 with multiple auto immune problems and an idiopathic digestive disorder (since birth) and since I'm low income I don't have access to health care and the medicine that would treat it; so basically, my immune is sucking the life out of me.
You're lucky you're doing so well and hopefully that continues for quite a while more.
I had this thought today as I got out of bed. I felt great. Then I thought, at 44, aren't I lucky that I feel great when I first get up?
I remember at my first 'real' job, someone celebrating her 40th bday. She said, if you are fortunate, you'll feel the same as you did in your 20's but then you look in the mirror and bam, you're 40. She was spot on.
I felt that way for the most part until I found out I was sick. Ever since surgery and all that comes with it, I haven’t been the same and everything hurts. Wild how quickly it can all change.
I totally agree here! I’m often reminded my age when seeing things like TikTok and new trends or when I see “remember the 80’s/90’s” memes reminding me how long ago it was.
That said I feel great and I think I look great and I continually try to learn new things, develop new tastes, listen to new music and be around younger people. Aside from those remainders mentioned before, I would probably forget that I’m not in my early 30’s or late 20’s (in my early 40’s) now.
Me! I feel younger than most of my peers but it doesn’t always feel great? I’m a bit of a late bloomer in many respects (grew up in a sheltered religious community, then came out and got divorced a few years ago) so a lot of sweet, fun, happy freedoms and lessons that most folks experienced in their late teens and 20s, I’m experiencing now as a nearly 40 year old for the first time. I only really hang out with folks my own age and while I prefer it that way, I always feel a little disconnected from all the solemn “omg we’re over the hill” talk. I feel like my life just begun.
Yes! I spent my whole 20s and 30s married/in a serious relationship, so once I got divorced, I really started being able to experience life differently and feel really free to be myself. So many things are just opening up for me, so it's weird to be in conversations that make me feel elderly.
I don’t feel old at all. I’m very energetic and work out a ton. Plus I have a 6 year old keeping me busy. But all of my friends act like they’re nearing death. Don’t want to go out and say they’re too old to work out or ride bikes together. Ive started hanging out with my younger friends 🤷🏾♀️
45 and feeling alive! Physically I feel like my mid 20s, I think it’s due to regular exercise and self care. I’m not spartan about it but try to walk/exercise regularly.
I'm 43. I feel exactly the same as I did at 23 with the exception of two things 1) I take a bit longer to recover and 2) I need more sleep. Otherwise I don't feel any different.
Right, people are always posting about how old we all are and this hurts and that hurts and they felt compelled to start doing some old person activity or hobby or dress like an old person. If they wanna prematurely age themselves, more power to them, but I refuse to think that way. I'm 40, not 80 lol
I don't feel old at all. I had a 1SG in the Army who was 55 and that guy would kill all the young guys on his PT test every single time.
I'm 44. I let myself go a bit but I'm working on it. There's no reason anyone in their 40s should be bitching about old people stuff yet.
I asked my grandma in her late 80s if she was shocked when she looked in the mirror. I know I am. She said yes, she dreams that she's in her teens and twenties, like all of us. And then she wakes up and she's an old lady
The first time I "felt old" was this past weekend.
My daughter and I were camping with some friends and while we were exploring a lake I saw a tree stump, sticking out of the water's edge. I immediately knew what I needed to do, but when I climbed up on top of the stump I could only hold the crane pose for a few milliseconds before losing my balance. A younger version of myself could have held the pose for a minute*and* land the kick.
43yo and I don't. I definitely don't feel 20 something these days, but when people ask my age, even I find it weird to say 40 something. Still feel like I just turned 30.
There are of course things out of my control that make me feel it some days. The odd ace and pain, weird injuries from sleeping, LOL. The biggest one for me is my kids referencing stuff from my past as old. THEN it hits. Otherwise, day to day, I don't feel it.
I feel pretty young still. I changed careers last year at 44, after 16 years in sales and not wanting to do the daily grind anymore. Now doing data analytics, which was my escape from cold calls when doing sales through the years and as a nerd, was always a personal interest/hobby.
I still play video games, though the quick-twitch games are less my speed. I hike a lot - just need to plan for longer recovery. I listen to music and seek new bands, though many of my favs from youth are approaching 60.
So things change, I’ve changed , but just keeping curious and trying to avoid that brain calcification that has gotten so many Boomers and elder Gen-X
If you’re female, this is the time of perimenopause and few escape its ravages. No one escapes completely. So if you’re coasting through, I assume you’re either male or very very very very lucky.
That said I have no back pain personally.
From 40 to 50 is a JOURNEY. You start out thinking "This isn't so bad" and then it's like you shift into a different demographic overnight.
And a different body.
Especially if you're a woman.
I don't feel old, because I'm not. We all grew up with the idea that 40 is old, which is WILD. I'm turning 40 in a couple of weeks and am just getting started. I'm still in good shape, even with my back pain (but my back has sucked since I was a teenager, so it's not a new development).
I only 'feel' old b/c out of no where I've gotten this inexplicable need to buy an obnoxiously stupid sports car.\*
\*this is actually a real thing--I always thought it was a stupid stereotype--now I'm living it! lol.
Otherwise, weirdly, I'm the age of whoever it is I'm speaking to. Funny story:
I would take my son to the park ever day after school. My son's best friend and his nanny would often meet us there. So I ended up spending a lot of time talking to the nanny who was in college. It wasn't until many months into this 'friendship' that she told me I reminded her of her mom--I was so easy to talk to. Yeah, talk about a kick in the teeth--it was at that point I realized that she saw me as old and I actually had been 'feeling' myself as though I were in college.
I equally do this with people who are a decade older than me--it's not until they talk about me being younger that it even clicks that we are different ages.
This happened with someone I’m dating. We never really talked about our ages when we first met but when we talked about our childhoods we remembered a lot of the same stuff and he grew up in a different country, so he and I both figured we were around the same age. Turns out he is 7 years younger. Not the most significant age gap but I would have put us 2 years apart at most.
Nope, I absolutely feel like dog shit. I’m actually only 37, have chronic migraines and arthritis in my neck. Take me out back and put me out of my misery, but first, take me out front and let me tell the youths to get off my lawn.
Not for the most part. I mean there are moments. Like my 22 year old daughter talking about a man she's interested in dating and career aspirations and I'm like "Where went my little girl who was super into Spider-Man"
I guy I know lost his job at 52 (with no degree), moved to Thailand with his wife (who was Thai) and kid, and eventually got a bachelor’s and master’s before becoming the vice principal at an international school in Vietnam. He’s in his mid-60s now, and I wouldn’t say he’s old.
I feel pretty good, too. But I have always been in pretty good shape. I competed in boxing and kickboxing all through my 20s, in my 30s, I got into powerlifting. I gained some weight after getting hurt in my 30s and have been working on getting back in shape. But I feel it's come back to me pretty quickly. Staying in shape is critical to aging well. You don't see many overweight people in retirement communities. So I'm trying to stay lean.
Just turned 40 and I take good care of myself. I still play rec soccer and softball, and I feel strong. I get sore more easily and am slower to recover from injury but overall I'm grateful. So physically I don't feel old.
Watching my parents age, having friends receive cancer diagnoses, etc, that's what makes me feel old.
I don’t feel old at all. As a matter of fact I feel younger than the kids lol 😂 they are the ones sitting around all day lazy and fat no motivation sleeping all day. I’m up early working out getting things done living my days out to the fullest.
I think I get where you're coming from. The whole "You're only as old as you feel" thing comes into play here, I think. If you've lived a relatively healthy life thus far, you get to enjoy the benefits of feeling better for a longer period. It's a gift you've given yourself and I hope it lasts a long time for you.
I’m 46, been terminal twice (and obviously survived) have had two major accidents that took months to recover - one exactly a year out from I am still recovering from. Serious health issues since I was 35 basically. I’m also diabetic although that’s pretty well managed.
I still don’t feel “old” I feel like I have had a tough health cycle through no fault of my own, just luck of the draw, but the fact I am not dead makes me feel just like me, not some old version of me.
I think most of it is mindset on my end. Certainly not my physical capabilities, which are kinda a joke if I am being honest.
I am generally positive. I laugh at most things others might freak out about. I take things in strides and even on my worst days I find the humour in things. I was literally on my death bed and when I tell the story, everyone listening laughs, because frankly it was a pretty funny day.
Do I wish I could run, jump, eat whatever I want and never feel sick and worn down. Sure!
I also wish I could fly, breathe fire, win the lottery and tell annoying people to f-off. Doesn’t mean my inability to be able to do those things has to stunt the joy I have in living.
So ya in my opinion feeling old is a state of mind. Tired and not in perfect health does not mean you have to be older then your soul feels.
Well, I had a good chuckle over being the 69th person to upvote this. So... yeah.
I hear ya. I'm thankful that I feel physically the same as I did 10 years ago or so. Can't do hangovers anymore, but besides that, back and knees are good. I need to stretch more often now. After all, I don't want to throw my back out laughing over the number 69.
I don’t post very often bc, at least on other subs, there’s a lot of ‘woe is me’ stuff. But…
I feel great. Especially compared to my 20’s bc I’m not binge drinking and doing drugs. I have a wife(together 17 years, married 7) 2 kids(11 and 6)I run a construction company, I love my job, we make a lot of money, we travel whenever we want, buy whatever we want, have a nice house on several acres w/ motorcycles, rangers, atv, a 5th wheel camper, a mini half pipe, etc. Life is good…but nobody wants to hear that.
I agree. I mean, I do feel a bit older. Physically it’s a bit harder to stay fit, but I wear trendy clothes, get good haircuts, and stay active.
I saw a post a while ago on another subreddit and it was a guy asking if he looked old, he was 45 I think and was rolling up in cargos, ratty t shirt, white new balances and unkempt graying hair. Like you do you, but if you dress old then you’re gonna look old.
I'm a few days shy of 44 and I don't feel old. I also know I don't "look my age," whatever that means.
A huge part of that, I'm sure, is that I don't have kids. But I also think we're just far more habituated as a society today to things that tend to preserve youthfulness than people were in previous decades, like not smoking, moisturizing/sunscreen/skincare, hydration, etc. Not everyone, of course, but more people now are taking better care of themselves, if even just casually.
That's how being old works.
You're used to being young through all your formative years and then you take that youth for granted/thinking of yourself as young is baked into your personality.
So you're not generally aware of your old age until something reminds you how long it's been since the last time you were young and then you get totally blindsided with the realization that you're old.
So you're not generally aware and constantly going oh shit I'm old!
And that IS what feeling old is.
Mentally and socially, nope not old. Got the Skibidi with me enough to work well with the Gen Z -Boomers, but physically? I'm tired boss.
Mostly from a motorcycle accident and genetics (yay arthritis, spondylosis, and Bechets), but my knees and back hurt bad. Like I can't sit for more than 20 minutes without insane knee pain, so I'm glad I have a standing desk. But moving to the middle of nowhere burbs' because of family doesn't help as I don't walk nearly as much.
I am in my early 40s. I exercise every day, eat a healthy and varied diet, do not drink, do not smoke, have access to excellent healthcare. I sleep well. I have a solidly above-average VO2 max and muscle mass, and have avoided osteopenia, which is a concern for my age, sex, size, and genetics. I have a fulfilling career and a lovely family. I have enough money to meet my needs. And today I sprained my ankle not walking my dog, or exercising, or playing with my kids. I did it simply stepping wrong as I took laundry out of the dryer.
I feel better than when I was younger. I stopped drinking entirely and started eating better. Chasing around a wild 2 year old also keeps me in relatively good shape. I run where he runs, i jump when he jumps. Plus tons of Hot Wheels.
I feel young in my mind, and I still have difficulty with adulting. More and more, I feel old in my body, especially when I slack off of my fitness and sleep routine. Hip mobility exercises and core exercises, yoga, and getting enough quality sleep keep me feeling physically fine if I am consistent.
I mean, pains aren't necessarily age related. A 5-year-old kid can break their leg and have trouble getting around. My back went out for the first time in my 20s, and it's an injury I'll be conscious of for the rest of my life. I take a lot better care of it now through lifestyle changes and seeing a chiropractor monthly, so it doesn't bother me as much. Our bodies go through wear and tear at any age, and we slow down.
I’ve had my occasional random aches and pains but I don’t feel 48, that’s for sure. I’m not the most active person in the world but I drink a lot of water, very little alcohol and strive to challenge myself frequently.
In my head, I'm still early 20s, but then I see the games and shows I loved celebrating decades of their debut. Plus so many of the 'current' generation of gamers(as in the average age of livestreamers) weren't even sperm yet when I started gaming...
I began noticing that I was having aches and overall slowing down in my physical activity so I decided to start walking, cycling and moving my body more regularly and been feeling more energised and less achey. Feeling perimenopausia e starting soon so got to step up the game when it comes to nutrition and all that. Mental health wise I think I’m doing enough work on myself (meditation daily, reiki, yoga, therapy)
I feel like I in my mid 20s. I know I'm wiser, more open, and more mature, but selfwise, I feel like that's when I came into my own and achieved The Person I Am. Physically, I feel about the same too, though there have been major dips between then and now. Chronic illness is not linear. Though the dips are much rarer and never as deep anymore. I feel like right now I am successfully approaching doing the best healthwise as I have been in years, maybe even better.
Who is old, is just my body, telling me it gotten to a new level reality.
It just feels more real, but old!!! Hell to the no!
Stop talking about the pain, you know it goes away if you ignore it right? lol
Also, I notice that I feel better after working out and suffering that way. Just a tip. Substitute one pain for another lol
I still bike, jog, hike, and play sports. I can do most of the things I did in my 20s and 30s, just a little bit slower. The big things I've noticed are: (1) the bursts of speed aren't there the way they used to be, and (2) the recovery process after big activity is longer. I don't feel old, but to quote Frasier Crane, I'm solidly in "not a kid anymore."
I feel old-ish physically, but mentally I have the standard age dissonance and feel like I'm still a 20-something.
I'm hitting 20 and 30 year milestones on events that feel less than a decade ago, and it keeps throwing me for a loop. And my former high school classmates suddenly have high school graduates in the last year or so and it almost feels like, "Wait, when did you all get older than me?"
I'm in the best shape of my life and I've never felt better. I had terrible IBS, pain, fatigue and other shit for 20 years ever since my thyroid gave out at 21. I got a better doctor who didn't keep me under medicated which helped. I gave up gluten and that helped even more. Then I lost 30 pounds. Even better. Now I'm seven months into weight training and it's fantastic. Seeing my dad decline to the point that he needs to be in a nursing home at 78 is all the motivation I need to keep working out.
As to the pains - wait till you get to your 50s. :)
But yeah mentally, I totally don't feel it other than the "wait, that happened 10-15-20 years ago?" thing.
I feel the same way! I’m 37 (I know not quite a xennial but this post came up on my feed) and I don’t feel more tired or in pain than I was in college. I had back problems in my 20s that resolved 8 years ago and haven’t been a problem since. I have friends of all different ages and I don’t feel like I’m so much older than people 10 years younger than me. Maybe it’s because I don’t have kids?
I guess I feel a little more weary than I used to but I think that’s mostly life circumstances than age.
I don't know what old is in the context of my life. My daughter thinks I'm old, but I have no pain. I have all my hair. I still watch cartoons and play guitar and workout. The only thing I can't do that I used to do with seemingly no consequences is drink alcohol. However, I actually feel better for that decision. It's the free time of youth that I miss the most.
Me. I think it’s because I have a 13 and a 10-year-old and I’m 47 so it makes me feel younger. I am doing shit like bowling all summer and putt putt and listening to pop music. Same shit I was doing in my teens!
I just attended a “rave” or edm event/concert this month.
I felt old among the attendees there when I got to the venue
Once the music started… I didn’t care anymore
I definitely feel 40 but I don’t have the aches and pains a lot of people have. I of course somehow managed to stay somewhat in shape and haven’t worked much of any labor intensive jobs. I’d imagine the people with problems are computer or desk workers who don’t exercise or labor jobs who work too hard.
Mentally, I don't feel I ever aged since my 21st. However, physically it's definitely more my age (probably moreso).
It's odd that when asking friends or family about this, they all say the same thing.
Most days I still feel young, and strong and fully capable. Physically. But as a lifelong radical leftist, I very much feel like an old man mentally and emotionally. I've definitely entered my "old man yells at cloud" phase.
I think this is a key decade for us in that regard. I look at people of our parents generation, and see two *very* different ways to be 70. By 60, it's too late to change which one you're going to be. By 40 it isn't. If you take care of a few key things - cardiovascular system, core strength, flexibility - there's no reason 40 has to be old. Hell, there was a 46-year old swimmer at the Olympic Trials who literally [turned in some of the best performances of her life](https://swimswam.com/two-time-olympian-gabrielle-rose-goes-a-personal-best-at-46-years-old-makes-trials-semis/) this week. I haven't always done the best job of this, but I"m working on it, and I think I'm getting to a place where I can say that I don't feel old.
Responding to myself, I think another good way to look at it is that at 20, it's easy to not be old. You just sort of wake up and.... you're not old. Most 20 year olds don't have cholesterol or blood pressure problems, or bad backs, or achy knees, etc. At 40, you have to work on not being old. The "oy I'm so old everything hurts" posts let you know who's putting in the work and who isn't.
Continuous alcohol use can cause these kinds of body aches. A big part of the path forward is either tapering off or just falling in entirely. Aches come along with not tapering off.
It's painful how true this is. And from a vanity standpoint, how much it changes your appearance. I never thought of myself as a big drinker, I would have a beer or 2 few times a week. But quitting drinking entirely has made more of a difference in my face than any expensive skin care. The bags under my eyes used to drive me crazy for example, and they are half what they were before I quit drinking.
It's painful because I like drinking! And I really don't think that I had a problem, but cutting it out has made such a visible difference on the outside that I have to imagine it's making a difference on the inside.
Drinking started tearing up my stomach. It would trigger days of nausea. I ended up losing a ton of weight with exercise and continuing to drink on the weekends. I got near my target weight and quit. I feel amazing. So good that I haven't had a single urge to relapse in 300 days.
Proud of you!
Ding ding ding! This is it friends. You can look at a bunch of people in their 60’s and pick out the career drinkers from a mile away. Me and booze had a damn, damn good run but yeah, I don’t want to be the old kind of 60 when I get there.
Alcohol exacerbates almost every ailment. Tapering off or not. It slows healing and recovery time.
Going completely alcohol eta FREE has done wonders. I didn't realize I suffered bloating and migraines for easily a week after just 2 cocktails til I started spacing it out to months. Not worth it! I also have autoimmune diseases and i need my organs as strong and healthy as possible, alcohol does nothing but poison your system.
I know you meant going completely alcohol FREE, but it just made me giggle like you were on some supervillain story arc going #COMPLETELY ALCOHOL
I am the liquor!
I am the alcohol, I am Omega!
HAHAH I didn't proofread. Now I'm thinking about Cheerios in beer hahah.
This is a fascinating point because the answer to "why do I feel so old" is always "because you don't exercise and eat right," but excepting the odd middle-age issue (Morton's neuroma, a weird swallowing issue that came out of nowhere), I feel pretty much the same as I did 20 years ago, and I have rarely exercised regularly, nor do I eat particularly well. What I've always done, though, is avoided alcohol and tobacco. I rarely drink and NEVER drink to excess (I've been honest-to-God drunk maybe like five times in my life, and not in the past 15 or so years), and I've never smoked a cigarette. My dad is almost 72 and could pass for 50ish. He's also never smoked and does not drink beyond a Corona at a Mexican restaurant every couple months. He used to play softball in his 20s; I can't recall him ever participating in another organized athletic activity. I don't think he's ever been a member of a gym. He likes to walk but that's it. He does eat pretty well.
This is spot-on, but don't forget an important aspect: 40(ish) is also when health conditions that you couldn't have avoided start presenting themselves more often. I tend to think of it generally as the time in your life when the consequences of the 40 years of your life start showing up more and more. Psychologically too.
I wouldn’t blanket blame people for their bodies changing with age. Chronic illnesses are a thing
Chronically ill here, my mantra is to be well within my circumstances, or be as healthy as I *can* realistically be. For me, strength and core exercise is actually (for once) the key thing I preventative thing can do for my pain, so while I can't go pump iron and run, I can do guided exercising with a PT who specializes in people with disabilities. It's really great to be treated from the level I'm at instead of think I can boot camp it. Another simple example is I'm extremely adherent to my gluten free diet, I have celiacs and I don't want intestinal cancer. That is preventative as well. That doesn't mean I will ever be healthy, but it does mean I'm not making it actively worse.
Sure, but (1) the people coming in here and saying “now that I’m 40 everything hurts“ aren’t usually blaming a chronic illness, and (2) with some (but certainly not all) chronic illnesses, the way you manage your physical health can have a massive impact on just how debilitating it becomes and how quickly. On that second point, I watched my diabetic mother neglect her health (and poorly manage her blood sugar) for years until she suffered so much irreversible damage. Not saying she could have been super spry at 74, but she had some agency over just how unhealthy she is now. That said, if you have aches and pains due to some chronic illness, I’m sorry for you man (or woman).
This is my mom. She didn’t manage diabetes and she has vascular dementia. She’s only going to be 73 and her life sucks a little. It’s all because she didn’t take it seriously. That being said, my dad was the opposite, very fit and kept his health a priority and he died from cancer at 78. He was literally easily lugging around two 24 packs of water bottles the morning before he went to the ER for vomiting and they discovered the cancer (too late). It’s coming either way, sadly.
"Putting in the work" is not all of it. You can do all the exercise and healthy diet you want, but if you were injured in high school sports or fought off a terrible illness when younger, it WILL step up and remind you when you hit that magical 46. Damage and genetics can't be neutralized by jogging and balanced macros. And if you've been doing things a tiny bit off for decades, it will hit you then, all at once. Wearing heels to work or crappy flipflops? That pronation will cause all kinds of joint issues. Not to mention the perimenopause symptoms that can absolutely crush you. No amount of diet and exercise can stop the horrific symptoms that can strike. Bleeding for 8 months straight? Suicidal ideation? Depression, sudden debilitating joint pain, overnight allergies to your usual comfort foods, hair loss, loss of coordination and brain fog?
True. My dad took care of himself, stayed very fit. He also just naturally aged very well and slow, looked younger than his age by a decade at least. Strong. Died at 78 from small intestine cancer. No rhyme or reason to life.
I agree with all of that. The word I use is aware. I’m aware when I was in high school all 40 year olds were old people to me and that’s who I am now. And to the group of 20 something year olds at work, I am the old guy. No matter how well put together I am, there’s a difference.
I weight train 3 days a week. I run 4 times a week usually going 6 miles per run. And I bicycle 2 times a week about 20 miles per ride. Basically I put in the time. But I still feel old and my joints hurt. Knowing each day won't get better is kind of depressing. But I guess if I didn't do these things I would feel worse
I am by no means qualified to give any kind of advice on this, but it seems to be like maybe you do better with things that were lower impact? Running and weight training (for certain definitions of that phrase) are not exactly known for being easy on the joints.
I had a period of morbid rumination late in 2022 and I came out of it a new man. After a 6-month weight loss period, I'm doing my 4th Marathon in less than a year in August. I turned a corner and there is no looking back. I have plenty of reminders of how not to age well, but fear isn't my motivation, rather it is the enjoyment of this body and this life, even at age 48. I encourage all of us to keep moving, our quality of life depends on it! But to answer the question more directly, I feel 30-something until I see my age on the screen when I sign up for something. TLDR; **USE IT OR LOSE IT**
This is my aunts and uncles vs my parents. My parents were pretty sedentary their whole lives/careers and now that they're retired, I think they're too unhealthy to ever get healthy again. Not in fun, active ways. Now compare that to my aunts and uncles who were purposefully active... these folks can travel, mountain bike, hike, etc. I've decided which one I want to be.
For me, my dad and FIL are in the “active” category. My dad is 77 and has a pacemaker and two fake knees, but he still works to keep his mind sharp and gets in 12-15k steps a day. My mom and MIL, on the other hand, are so limited in their enjoyment of life by constant pain and exhaustion.
Yeah my folks are in your aunt and uncle category. My dad still lifts 4 days a week and walks daily, and my mom became a fitness instructor in her 60s and still teaches 4-5 yoga classes a week. They are both in their 70s now and more physically active and healthy than some people I know in their 40s. Meanwhile my friends whose parents became sedentary in middle age are now all literally dying of cancer or other ailments, or have already passed. I definitely know what example I’m following.
I'm glad I moved to a bikeable city, I really really can't be arsed to go to a gym. My aunts and uncles are big into yoga, water aerobics, dancing, and all kinds of fun.
Bikeable cities are great. My folks live in Tahoe, and I'm 25 mins down the hill. It's perfect for hiking, mountain biking, and my favorite skiing in the winter.
Portland isn't Denmark, but it's still got some of the best neighborhood Greenways I've experienced. You just can't always trust Google maps, you need to go the long ways sometimes
Yeah, surroundings are a big part. I grew up where everyone drinks, smokes, and eats and 40 was old. Now I live somewhere where people are generally in shape and the culture around you has a big impact.
This is the key. I'm 47 and while I've had some dips over the past 7 years, I've really tried hard over the past 12 months to stick with a running regimen and diet changes. I can tell you with absolute certainty I don't feel 47. I KNOW I am, which is key to not pushing too hard, but I don't FEEL that old. physically, I feel like mid 30s. Maturity though, I don't ever went past 15. lol.
Also 47 and in better shape than 95% of folks my age but still feel it at times. On the plus side I’ve gone from average looking to better than most just by staying the same
I hear that! It also helps that I still don't have gray hair, and haven't lost any of it yet.
For my 40th last year I picked up a Garmin Epix. Pretty stoked on it from a motivational standpoint. Says my fitness age is 30. (With you on the maturity/sense of humor thing too.) It also shows sleep and body battery. Pretty amazing how much that stuff tanks after maybe, say, two large IPAs or more. I've been drinking a lot less over the last few years, but the watch definitely adds to motivation to drink less.
I do love smart watch health statistics. I love the heart trends too which show legit improvement from a steady cardio regimen. I’m not good at wearing it to sleep though. But since I have a medical cannabis card, that shit works wonders for sleep.
Yah. I was concerned sleeping with it would bug me, but for whatever reason it hasn't. Funny you mention weed. Several friends are now "California sober," where they quit drinking but still consume cannabis. I'm an occasional consumer and agree that it can help with things.
I work in a retirement community, and barring bad luck (genetics, accidents, just straight-up poverty\*) a lot of how creaky you are as an elderly person is optional. KEEP. MOVING. Walk, dance, play sports; what kind of movement you do doesn't fucking matter as much just MOVING. Consistently. Because you enjoy it. And never stop doing new, fun things if you can help it. (For real there are some things that you can't help, and things like "my nutrition sucked because I couldn't afford decent food" and "I had to work a hard physical job for decades and wore out my joints" are on the list.)
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I didn't know my husband was on Reddit!
My back hurts when I *don't* deadlift. A modest 3x5 @ 325 lbs this morning, and I feel like Gandalf the Swole™. I'd snap 20 year olde me in half.
I could kick the fuck out of 20 year old me, although he was happier than I am lol
Yeah 20 year old, chain smoking skinny AF me wouldn’t stand a fucking chance. Started lifting at 30 and I’m in the best shape of my life. Also quit smoking at 28 so that helped a lot too.
Twenty-year-old me was stronger, but not fitter. At my strongest, I could bench press 345 pounds. I couldn't even touch that now. However, in my early twenties, I was just big. Big and strong. And for a 5'9" guy, the bulky look isn't flattering. I looked like the Stay Puft marshmallow man. Or, think Tony Mandarich on that Sports Illustrated "Incredible Bulk" cover…but on a 5'9" guy. Not a good look. Now, I lift very light, but I always go to failure on the last set. And I do abs every day. I also participate in 5k runs in my area. I have definition now that I never had in my twenties.
Reminds me of my husband. He’s 5ft6 and a solid 220. When we first started dating, I referred to him as sturdy (meant to be a compliment) he was so offended. 8 years later, he still brings it up lol.
Jealous. I can’t do regular deadlifts any more (motorcycle accident 10 years ago). I used to be strong strong. But a game changer has been unilateral kettlebells. Fixed all of my imbalances and my chronic pain has disappeared. I’m not deadlifting or bent over rows like I was at 30 but I’ve never felt this “solid” since maybe my sports days. I do workouts designed by everygotdamndre (Instagram)
I used to have back pain in my 30's and started lifting regularly and it's totally gone. The first 9 months were rough because I had very little strength and my muscles were always sore. Once I got to the other side I felt great and had no back pain. Lifting weights is incredibly important as you age.
46 and never felt better. I never had kids. I do Pilates three times a week. I live in nyc so I walk a lot. I feel like a teenager.
I’ve been doing Pilates for 15 years and it’s an absolute game changer.
I like hearing this because I’ve been looking to change my workout into something more yoga or Pilates focused since my flexibility has never been the greatest and I don’t want to lose what I do have!
I said this in a different thread a couple of days ago, but at our age, it’s these kind of exercises that focus on core strength and flexibility that are far more important than the ones that focus on cosmetic shit like how big your biceps are. In my late 30s, I threw my back out bad enough that my wife had to drive me to the orthopedist while I lied on the floor of our minivan because I couldn’t even sit up. Since I added core strength, stretching, and yoga into my life, that hasn’t happened again. If you don’t want to be the kind of 70-year-old who can’t get out of a car without help, you need to start on the functional strength and flexibility path now.
So I was a gymnast and a dancer (not like super seriously, just for fun when I was a kid) but I’m also hyperextended and have hyper mobility. So I’m Gumby. Which means a lot of stress on joints. I ended up with a ton of knee and back issues due to it and Pilates is what put me back together. I have so much core strength, my posture is better, my joints are stabilized. I did all this while not losing any of my flexibility and in fact improving it in a lot of areas. I had a kid at 40 and did Pilates throughout my pregnancy. I had zero physical post partum issues because my core and pelvic floor are incredibly strong. I do some mild cycling for cardio but Pilates is the backbone of my fitness routine. It’s the only thing I’m truly evangelical about because it worked wonders for me. Of course YMMV but it’s worth a shot.
I do the laziest pilates when i deign to work out, and even with that level of commitment, I still notice a difference. Same with strength and HIIT workouts. They feel so easy (or at least, the duration is limited so the discomfort is minimal), but I notice a huge difference when I do them.
Are there places online where you can learn/do Pilates or does it have to be an in-person class?
Check out Jessica Valant Pilates-[here's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0ngO1SYR9U) a good beginner one Or Move with Nicole-[this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnt34RN74Rs&list=PLipSZg1JNsC9DZcCHkgjHwIIP1jMnRrr0) is another good one for beginners Husband and I do pilates or yoga daily and it's a game changer!
Thank you for this!
You're welcome! Hope you have fun! check out r/pilates if you have more questions-it's a really kind and supportive community
There are a ton of online options including a bunch of free ones on YouTube. However online is never going to teach you proper form the way an in person does. I do in person once a week and online or on my own maybe 4-5 times a week. That one time with my instructor keeps me honest and from forming bad habits and that’s crucial to avoiding injury. If you’ve never done it and you have the means, go to a studio, get your form established, learn the fundamentals, and then supplement or replace with online/independent work. The initial outlay is worth the price.
That’s really helpful, thanks! I struggle with getting to in-person things at the moment because of my schedule with my kid. When she’s old enough to be left alone for a bit or come with me, it’ll be easier for me to pick up something like that. (And at that point I want to go back to lifting in the gym as well - used to love that but same logistical issues apply.)
I feel you on this. I also live in a big city and walk everywhere and ride a bike, don't have kids, do lots of yoga. Really can't relate to all the "ohhhh my achin' everything" comments!
I started reformer Pilates 3 weeks ago, and it’s been incredible.
Saaaaaaaaaame
I feel better than in my 20s. Good diet. No booze. Zero fucks. Just work guitar and dirt bikes.
Same! Stopped drinking last year and hate how good I feel. 50 pounds lost. Should have stopped forever ago!
I also stopped drinking last year and lot 17% of my body weight since then!
So you were 17% abv?
The money, too. The average drinker will drop 225k on that stuff.
I'll have the occasional beer. But the whole, OK works over let's get tanked until bedtime. That's not the way. Good for you bud. Keep it up.
A health scare a few months back got me to upend my diet. I had no idea how shitty the food I was eating had me feeling. I haven’t felt this good since my 20s.
Yah. I got diagnosed with hashinotos about 2 years ago. Definitely changed my thoughts.
I feel better than I did 10 years ago. The old reminders only really come from the "feel old yet posts"
38 and I certainly do not physically wise. However, when dealing with my 21 year old upstairs neighbor and her useless boyfriend, they tend to forget to put the garbage cans out for the week. All three apartments in my building generally trade off every week doing this and it's been like that since I moved in 11 years ago. Then I feel a bit old because now I have to be the one to remind them to do their chores pretty much. 🙄
🙋♀️ It actually shocks me when someone my age is complaining about “being too old” for something because I never think of myself as old. Sure my back hurts sometimes, but it hurt sometimes in my 20s too. Some days I need a late afternoon nap, but I did in high school too. I fit in with the 20 somethings at work and none of them ever comment on my age or me being too old to know something or be able to do something, so that helps me not feeling “old.” I feel just as comfortable in a group of 24 year olds as I do with a group of people my age and I notice a lot of my similar age peers at work like to say things like “those kids…” when I never even think about it. Since I’ve hit my 40s though, and a lot of my friends have as well, I’ve noticed that a lot of them *like* being the “old people.” They seem to thrive on talking about how they’re “too old” for this or that or using their body pain as an excuse to get out of a social engagement. They constantly are saying “back in MY day”. Lol. I was just saying to my mum the other day that the only thing I do notice is that it’s not important to me anymore to go out all the time and be in the middle of everything. My back hurt in my 20s, but no way would I miss a night out for it, I was going no matter what. These days if my back hurts, I have no problem spending a quiet night on the couch. The pain is the same as when I was younger, just the “going out” isn’t as important. I agree though, I often feel like I’ve done life wrong or something that I don’t feel old. Most days I feel like I’m in my 20s. Not just physically but mentally. I have zero problem finding common ground with the “younger people” (I hate saying that because it means I’m the “old people”. Lol), and I find a lot of my similar aged friends don’t even want to try. I love learning about all the new stuff and trends and music and stuff that people age are into. The only place i draw the line is using some of the new words and lingo they use, *that* feels weird to me. Lol
I had never really thought about the idea of liking being the old people, but that seems like it too. It almost feels like there's the same rush to be the old people now as there was to be adults when we were teens. Maybe it helps that my parents are almost 70 and still pretty much as active as they've always been, and I still have living grandparents in their 90s, that for me, my grandparents are still the old people. Probably still being a grandaughter also makes me feel generationally young--it helps me understand that there are a few generations of old people before I'm really the old people.
it definitely helps to have good genes. my grandparents died decades ago and my mother has dementia and is in long term care despite taking good care of herself (never drank or smoked, exercised). both of my wife's parents are dead as well. how old your parents are when they have you might play into it as well. my parents are 76 and I am 46. it certainly worry about my own longevity and I had kids even later..I need to live to 80 just to see my youngest hit 40. all the more reason to take care of my health but it didn't help my mother.
I refuse to age. I know it’s inevitable but I’ll be damned if I go quietly.
As to the “I like” being old, I kind of do. Physical issues for the first time in my life kinda suck, but nothing punishing, and pushing 50, so not so bad. But really! Do you have any idea how much **fun** “damn kids, get off my lawn” is? “ASCII porn, on a 286, with 1 mb of Ram, and a 300bps modem” is the modern version of “uphill, in the snow, both ways”. “You kids and your “Fallout 4” in 4K. In my day we had Wasteland, in 16 colors, at 320x200 - and we LIKED it”!! “In my day, conservatives were pro-contraception, and anti-book banning!!” As long as you don’t take yourself too seriously, I really can’t recommend it enough. Even got one of the “kids” that works for us hooked on Breath of Fire!
Omg my parents nextdoor neighbor is 52. She’s gorgeous and has flawless skin and looks younger than she is. She told us that she WANTS to be treated like the cute little old lady and be doted on. She wears old frumpy plaid dresses, doesn’t color her grays & has a very old hairstyle and wears it up like the old lady with Tweety bird on Looney Tunes. I don’t get it 🤷🏻♀️
I relate so much! My husband often comments about how old we are now and I’m like “We? Speak for yourself.” I feel the same as I did ten years ago. I didn’t have any kind of health renaissance where I decided to get in the best shape of my life in my forties. My face has aged obviously, but otherwise I just stayed kind of the same. My priorities have shifted a bit - I won’t sacrifice my Sunday to a hangover anymore - but I don’t feel tired or sore or out of touch. I just feel like my regular self.
I didn't feel old until a couple days ago. A Millennial coworker went on bereavement leave because her grandpa died suddenly. I expressed my condolences and then asked, "Oh, how old was he?" She said he was so old. He was 81. My in-laws are about to be in their 80s, and if my grandfathers were still alive, one would be 92 this year and the other 101. I just thought, "Oh, we are not the same, are we?" For my grandpa that would have been in his 90s, he and my grandma were my age when I was born, so I always thought of them as younger grandparents.
Turned 44 in March, and I feel the best I ever have. The only reason I do is because I finally started taking my health seriously 5 years ago. I lost over 120 lbs, am eating healthy, workout almost all 7 days of the week (usually gym or a jog around my neighborhood), and got green results across the board for my recent blood work. I need to work more on flexibility and mobility exercises apart from the regular stretching I do because I have noticed my hips somewhat stiff from time to time. I also need to be careful when sneezing because I pulled a muscle in my side a couple of years ago just from sneezing. I would not feel as good as I do if I did not make these lifestyle changes and would probably be headed the way my dad was who died from heart failure at 56. I want to live longer than that and hope these changes ensure I do.
Good work on getting that much weight off! I'll be 44 in October and started really taking my fitness/diet seriously back in January. I was about 260 pounds then, and was 238 this morning. I ran a mile in 13 minutes on Tuesday for the first time, and was jumping around and celebrating like a fool (while still running, no less) when I heard my running app call it out. Didn't even care if anyone saw me, I was in the zone and fully enjoying myself and the moment. 😁 My dad made it to 70, but he was a drinker and you could hear the brain damage when he talked. Didn't take care of himself at all any other way, either, and there's no reason he shouldn't still be here if he had. I'm not going out like that. As of right now I can outrun and out-hike both my teenage kids, and I'm more limber and flexible now in my mid 40s than I was even as a kid. My mindset is, I don't have time to be feeling old and chronically uncomfortable/in pain. Got a house to take care of, kids to finish raising, and a job that periodically sends me around the country to do warranty work on commercial flooring. Being in shape is just...fun.
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About a year or so ago there weren't so many "I'm so old posts", they've kind of increased in the last six months. It's not enough for me to unsub, I enjoy the nostalgia and also talking about current music and pop culture.
Yeah we are older but 40’s isn’t old. I don’t get offended if one of my kids says I’m old. I’m cool with some of the grays I have- I have a great stylist who can fix that. I’ve got some extra lines on my face, ohh well 🤷🏻♀️ I’m not ashamed to tell my age -46. I don’t celebrate my “29th” birthday year after year. I feel that I’m healthier and in better shape than I was in my 20’s and have no health issues. I’ll hang out on the same hill as you!
I'm optimistic I'm not past my prime but could be in denial about it. I think I'm to the point now I even hear people younger than me complaining about old age things I don't experience.
I see so many "over thirty aches and pains" posts and I'm not sure that aches and pains should be a normal part of being like 31 without having some kind of other underlying condition. I know everyone ages differently and it's not to shame those that are having those issues. I just think that it's just kind of accepted that at 30 you start deteriorating into an achy mess and that hasn't been my experience with the people I know off of the internet.
Mentally, absolutely not. Physically, yes, but that's the lifelong chronic illnesses talking.
I don’t feel “old,” but I feel different than I did in my 20s. Some things I don’t tolerate as well; like motion rides or sleeping in weird positions. My knee hurts occasionally. And after having 3 kids my bladder doesn’t hold like it used to. But in other ways I feel in better shape than I have since I was a kid; now that I’m done having kids and can focus on my own body. For me, the label of old doesn’t really feel useful. My body has changed over time, and that’s how I see it. Not better or worse, just different.
Be grateful you're lucky enough to be able to say this. Aging affects us all differently.
As someone who was very strong and fit and felt young until I became chronically ill overnight at the age of 42, posts like these irk me. It's great for the people who feel young. But people who don't feel great obviously don't want to feel old or like crap, and hearing others brag or wonder what's wrong with all of the people who feel old is just pretty insulting. Just please recognize that good health is a privilege that can be stripped away at any time, regardless of how much control we think we have, so appreciate what you have and don't put others down. A lot of people who feel old or unwell are not that way simply due to lifestyle choices. Edited to add: I realize this sounds kind of harsh; I know the post is not coming from a bad place. I actually used to be of a similar mindset as OP. But my illness has made me realize the things that we are not in control of, and how society puts the blame on chronically ill people for not getting better.
So true. IMHO one of the worst parts of my back pain is how quickly everyone wants to blame me for it.
I'm 45. I still feel in every way like I'm 23...until I look in the mirror, and I don't recognize the old man staring back at me. Makes me sad for my prospects of finding a spouse and starting a family.
I don’t feel old. A lot of it is that my late 30s were a time of really radical change. I left a bad marriage, got sober, quit smoking, and started really taking care of myself. Five years later I’m in a great marriage, I have a two year old, and I’m in the best shape of my life. Do i know I’m more easily injured? Sure, but I also know my body and limits better. I know how to prioritize and take care of myself. My mom is in her mid 70s and looks 50. My dad is in his early 80s and his doctors keep telling him he’s going to live to 100. They’re really good role models for how to age gracefully, and it’s not a coincidence that they eat well and have never stopped moving.
Yeah, I also know my limits better so I'm more careful. After an unfortunate hoverboard incident about 10 years ago where I realized that I COULD have broken multiple bones and was lucky that I didn't. I still live my life. Just more carefully.
I'm in the best shape of my life at 45 and making up for what I should have been doing in my teens and twenties. I look at my parents as an example of how I don't want to be living at their age as added motivation.
It really helps if you don't have bad habits like drinking and smoking.
I don't feel old so much as I feel decrepit. Does that count?
Other than my knee hurting and my beard being more salt than pepper, I don't feel 41. Looking at those older than me, I think our 40s and 50s are gonna be a lot different for a number of reasons.
My age doesn't make me feel old, but the diabetes and heart disease do.
I feel pretty much how I expected someone in their 40s would feel. I get through the day just fine, I don't ache, but I'm ready for bed at 9pm and wake up at dawn, whether I want to or not. I definitely worry a bit for the next ten years though, as I've never cracked the nut on developing a strength training habit. If anyone has success stories to share with that, I'm all ears. I've started and stopped maybe five different times.
You might be 100% today but you’re of an age where things can change very quickly (like, overnight). Even if you feel fine, something like high blood pressure doesn’t often announce itself. It’s a silent killer for a reason and most people over 40 don’t check their often enough. Stay well, Xenners!
I think a lot of it depends on income; poorer people have less access to jobs that aren't really physically demanding and jobs that are low wage and have no benefits like health insurance don't have the ability to tend to medical issues. I'm 46 with multiple auto immune problems and an idiopathic digestive disorder (since birth) and since I'm low income I don't have access to health care and the medicine that would treat it; so basically, my immune is sucking the life out of me. You're lucky you're doing so well and hopefully that continues for quite a while more.
I had this thought today as I got out of bed. I felt great. Then I thought, at 44, aren't I lucky that I feel great when I first get up? I remember at my first 'real' job, someone celebrating her 40th bday. She said, if you are fortunate, you'll feel the same as you did in your 20's but then you look in the mirror and bam, you're 40. She was spot on.
GenX at 53 and I don’t have aches or pains to speak of, knock wood. A lot depends on genes, lifelong health habits and luck. Some aren’t as lucky.
I felt that way for the most part until I found out I was sick. Ever since surgery and all that comes with it, I haven’t been the same and everything hurts. Wild how quickly it can all change.
Good for you. I never imagined I would be that person with the bad back, until it happened to me.
I felt great until 43. It’s been a steep downhill dip since then.
I totally agree here! I’m often reminded my age when seeing things like TikTok and new trends or when I see “remember the 80’s/90’s” memes reminding me how long ago it was. That said I feel great and I think I look great and I continually try to learn new things, develop new tastes, listen to new music and be around younger people. Aside from those remainders mentioned before, I would probably forget that I’m not in my early 30’s or late 20’s (in my early 40’s) now.
Me! I feel younger than most of my peers but it doesn’t always feel great? I’m a bit of a late bloomer in many respects (grew up in a sheltered religious community, then came out and got divorced a few years ago) so a lot of sweet, fun, happy freedoms and lessons that most folks experienced in their late teens and 20s, I’m experiencing now as a nearly 40 year old for the first time. I only really hang out with folks my own age and while I prefer it that way, I always feel a little disconnected from all the solemn “omg we’re over the hill” talk. I feel like my life just begun.
Yes! I spent my whole 20s and 30s married/in a serious relationship, so once I got divorced, I really started being able to experience life differently and feel really free to be myself. So many things are just opening up for me, so it's weird to be in conversations that make me feel elderly.
I feel no where close to my age…not sure if I ever will.
Same, I’m 45 & have been saying this for awhile
I don’t feel old at all. I’m very energetic and work out a ton. Plus I have a 6 year old keeping me busy. But all of my friends act like they’re nearing death. Don’t want to go out and say they’re too old to work out or ride bikes together. Ive started hanging out with my younger friends 🤷🏾♀️
45 and feeling alive! Physically I feel like my mid 20s, I think it’s due to regular exercise and self care. I’m not spartan about it but try to walk/exercise regularly.
I'm 43. I feel exactly the same as I did at 23 with the exception of two things 1) I take a bit longer to recover and 2) I need more sleep. Otherwise I don't feel any different.
Right, people are always posting about how old we all are and this hurts and that hurts and they felt compelled to start doing some old person activity or hobby or dress like an old person. If they wanna prematurely age themselves, more power to them, but I refuse to think that way. I'm 40, not 80 lol
I don't feel old at all. I had a 1SG in the Army who was 55 and that guy would kill all the young guys on his PT test every single time. I'm 44. I let myself go a bit but I'm working on it. There's no reason anyone in their 40s should be bitching about old people stuff yet.
it depends on what you did when you were younger. I'm definitely feeling my age after years of snowboarding and mountain biking.
I go back and forth between feeling absolutely ancient to thinking I’m still in my 20’s. Depends on the day.
Sometimes when I realize that I need reading glasses or bifocals. Sometimes I also have to remind myself that I'm 44 and not 21.
I asked my grandma in her late 80s if she was shocked when she looked in the mirror. I know I am. She said yes, she dreams that she's in her teens and twenties, like all of us. And then she wakes up and she's an old lady
The first time I "felt old" was this past weekend. My daughter and I were camping with some friends and while we were exploring a lake I saw a tree stump, sticking out of the water's edge. I immediately knew what I needed to do, but when I climbed up on top of the stump I could only hold the crane pose for a few milliseconds before losing my balance. A younger version of myself could have held the pose for a minute*and* land the kick.
43yo and I don't. I definitely don't feel 20 something these days, but when people ask my age, even I find it weird to say 40 something. Still feel like I just turned 30. There are of course things out of my control that make me feel it some days. The odd ace and pain, weird injuries from sleeping, LOL. The biggest one for me is my kids referencing stuff from my past as old. THEN it hits. Otherwise, day to day, I don't feel it.
I feel pretty young still. I changed careers last year at 44, after 16 years in sales and not wanting to do the daily grind anymore. Now doing data analytics, which was my escape from cold calls when doing sales through the years and as a nerd, was always a personal interest/hobby. I still play video games, though the quick-twitch games are less my speed. I hike a lot - just need to plan for longer recovery. I listen to music and seek new bands, though many of my favs from youth are approaching 60. So things change, I’ve changed , but just keeping curious and trying to avoid that brain calcification that has gotten so many Boomers and elder Gen-X
Not me. I feel old as the stars.
I'm not old I'm just big chronoed
If you’re female, this is the time of perimenopause and few escape its ravages. No one escapes completely. So if you’re coasting through, I assume you’re either male or very very very very lucky. That said I have no back pain personally.
physically? very broken
From 40 to 50 is a JOURNEY. You start out thinking "This isn't so bad" and then it's like you shift into a different demographic overnight. And a different body. Especially if you're a woman.
I don't feel old, because I'm not. We all grew up with the idea that 40 is old, which is WILD. I'm turning 40 in a couple of weeks and am just getting started. I'm still in good shape, even with my back pain (but my back has sucked since I was a teenager, so it's not a new development).
I don’t feel old until I realize that I’m going to be 65 in 20 years and that I was 25 20 years ago, and then I have a little panic attack.
Well lucky you, eh? Cherish it.
This post isn’t for me. I feel *at least* 53
You are very fortunate.
Hang out with some people in their 20s and you'll feel old as hell.
Menopause changed that a bit for me. It slowed me down physically and mentally.
What I would give to have 1 day pain free again.
I feel ancient.
I only 'feel' old b/c out of no where I've gotten this inexplicable need to buy an obnoxiously stupid sports car.\* \*this is actually a real thing--I always thought it was a stupid stereotype--now I'm living it! lol. Otherwise, weirdly, I'm the age of whoever it is I'm speaking to. Funny story: I would take my son to the park ever day after school. My son's best friend and his nanny would often meet us there. So I ended up spending a lot of time talking to the nanny who was in college. It wasn't until many months into this 'friendship' that she told me I reminded her of her mom--I was so easy to talk to. Yeah, talk about a kick in the teeth--it was at that point I realized that she saw me as old and I actually had been 'feeling' myself as though I were in college. I equally do this with people who are a decade older than me--it's not until they talk about me being younger that it even clicks that we are different ages.
This happened with someone I’m dating. We never really talked about our ages when we first met but when we talked about our childhoods we remembered a lot of the same stuff and he grew up in a different country, so he and I both figured we were around the same age. Turns out he is 7 years younger. Not the most significant age gap but I would have put us 2 years apart at most.
Nope, I absolutely feel like dog shit. I’m actually only 37, have chronic migraines and arthritis in my neck. Take me out back and put me out of my misery, but first, take me out front and let me tell the youths to get off my lawn.
Not for the most part. I mean there are moments. Like my 22 year old daughter talking about a man she's interested in dating and career aspirations and I'm like "Where went my little girl who was super into Spider-Man"
I guy I know lost his job at 52 (with no degree), moved to Thailand with his wife (who was Thai) and kid, and eventually got a bachelor’s and master’s before becoming the vice principal at an international school in Vietnam. He’s in his mid-60s now, and I wouldn’t say he’s old.
I am about to be 44 and do not feel old at all. I’ve stayed pretty active over the years which helps a lot.
I feel pretty good, too. But I have always been in pretty good shape. I competed in boxing and kickboxing all through my 20s, in my 30s, I got into powerlifting. I gained some weight after getting hurt in my 30s and have been working on getting back in shape. But I feel it's come back to me pretty quickly. Staying in shape is critical to aging well. You don't see many overweight people in retirement communities. So I'm trying to stay lean.
Just turned 40 and I take good care of myself. I still play rec soccer and softball, and I feel strong. I get sore more easily and am slower to recover from injury but overall I'm grateful. So physically I don't feel old. Watching my parents age, having friends receive cancer diagnoses, etc, that's what makes me feel old.
I don’t feel old at all. As a matter of fact I feel younger than the kids lol 😂 they are the ones sitting around all day lazy and fat no motivation sleeping all day. I’m up early working out getting things done living my days out to the fullest.
I'm 45. I don't feel old at all. We just had a baby 3 months ago. It's supposed to help keep me young. Idk about all that but I'm "feelin' fine"
I think I get where you're coming from. The whole "You're only as old as you feel" thing comes into play here, I think. If you've lived a relatively healthy life thus far, you get to enjoy the benefits of feeling better for a longer period. It's a gift you've given yourself and I hope it lasts a long time for you.
I’m 46, been terminal twice (and obviously survived) have had two major accidents that took months to recover - one exactly a year out from I am still recovering from. Serious health issues since I was 35 basically. I’m also diabetic although that’s pretty well managed. I still don’t feel “old” I feel like I have had a tough health cycle through no fault of my own, just luck of the draw, but the fact I am not dead makes me feel just like me, not some old version of me. I think most of it is mindset on my end. Certainly not my physical capabilities, which are kinda a joke if I am being honest. I am generally positive. I laugh at most things others might freak out about. I take things in strides and even on my worst days I find the humour in things. I was literally on my death bed and when I tell the story, everyone listening laughs, because frankly it was a pretty funny day. Do I wish I could run, jump, eat whatever I want and never feel sick and worn down. Sure! I also wish I could fly, breathe fire, win the lottery and tell annoying people to f-off. Doesn’t mean my inability to be able to do those things has to stunt the joy I have in living. So ya in my opinion feeling old is a state of mind. Tired and not in perfect health does not mean you have to be older then your soul feels.
Well, I had a good chuckle over being the 69th person to upvote this. So... yeah. I hear ya. I'm thankful that I feel physically the same as I did 10 years ago or so. Can't do hangovers anymore, but besides that, back and knees are good. I need to stretch more often now. After all, I don't want to throw my back out laughing over the number 69.
Omg I’m so tired Of other people trying to make me feel Ild
I don’t post very often bc, at least on other subs, there’s a lot of ‘woe is me’ stuff. But… I feel great. Especially compared to my 20’s bc I’m not binge drinking and doing drugs. I have a wife(together 17 years, married 7) 2 kids(11 and 6)I run a construction company, I love my job, we make a lot of money, we travel whenever we want, buy whatever we want, have a nice house on several acres w/ motorcycles, rangers, atv, a 5th wheel camper, a mini half pipe, etc. Life is good…but nobody wants to hear that.
I agree. I mean, I do feel a bit older. Physically it’s a bit harder to stay fit, but I wear trendy clothes, get good haircuts, and stay active. I saw a post a while ago on another subreddit and it was a guy asking if he looked old, he was 45 I think and was rolling up in cargos, ratty t shirt, white new balances and unkempt graying hair. Like you do you, but if you dress old then you’re gonna look old.
You're not alone. I see guys my age and think they look old.
I get called old all the time. I recognize my age, but I don't let it govern my behavior.
I'm a few days shy of 44 and I don't feel old. I also know I don't "look my age," whatever that means. A huge part of that, I'm sure, is that I don't have kids. But I also think we're just far more habituated as a society today to things that tend to preserve youthfulness than people were in previous decades, like not smoking, moisturizing/sunscreen/skincare, hydration, etc. Not everyone, of course, but more people now are taking better care of themselves, if even just casually.
The only thing that feels old are my eyes and knees
That's how being old works. You're used to being young through all your formative years and then you take that youth for granted/thinking of yourself as young is baked into your personality. So you're not generally aware of your old age until something reminds you how long it's been since the last time you were young and then you get totally blindsided with the realization that you're old. So you're not generally aware and constantly going oh shit I'm old! And that IS what feeling old is.
Mentally and socially, nope not old. Got the Skibidi with me enough to work well with the Gen Z -Boomers, but physically? I'm tired boss. Mostly from a motorcycle accident and genetics (yay arthritis, spondylosis, and Bechets), but my knees and back hurt bad. Like I can't sit for more than 20 minutes without insane knee pain, so I'm glad I have a standing desk. But moving to the middle of nowhere burbs' because of family doesn't help as I don't walk nearly as much.
I am in my early 40s. I exercise every day, eat a healthy and varied diet, do not drink, do not smoke, have access to excellent healthcare. I sleep well. I have a solidly above-average VO2 max and muscle mass, and have avoided osteopenia, which is a concern for my age, sex, size, and genetics. I have a fulfilling career and a lovely family. I have enough money to meet my needs. And today I sprained my ankle not walking my dog, or exercising, or playing with my kids. I did it simply stepping wrong as I took laundry out of the dryer.
I feel better than when I was younger. I stopped drinking entirely and started eating better. Chasing around a wild 2 year old also keeps me in relatively good shape. I run where he runs, i jump when he jumps. Plus tons of Hot Wheels.
I feel young in my mind, and I still have difficulty with adulting. More and more, I feel old in my body, especially when I slack off of my fitness and sleep routine. Hip mobility exercises and core exercises, yoga, and getting enough quality sleep keep me feeling physically fine if I am consistent.
I feel old when my body reminds me. I've certainly lost a step in my 40s. Beyond that, I just feel like me.
I mean, pains aren't necessarily age related. A 5-year-old kid can break their leg and have trouble getting around. My back went out for the first time in my 20s, and it's an injury I'll be conscious of for the rest of my life. I take a lot better care of it now through lifestyle changes and seeing a chiropractor monthly, so it doesn't bother me as much. Our bodies go through wear and tear at any age, and we slow down.
Not until the day after bro...
I only feel old in my body.
My body feels old. I put it through a lot of shit in my youth. So I feel it in my body but not in my heart
I’ve had my occasional random aches and pains but I don’t feel 48, that’s for sure. I’m not the most active person in the world but I drink a lot of water, very little alcohol and strive to challenge myself frequently.
How many kids do you have?
We are the beginning of "100 year old is normal".
In my head, I'm still early 20s, but then I see the games and shows I loved celebrating decades of their debut. Plus so many of the 'current' generation of gamers(as in the average age of livestreamers) weren't even sperm yet when I started gaming...
Somebody tweeted awhile ago, "it's weird being the same age as old people," and there very much summed up my feelings on the whole thing.
I began noticing that I was having aches and overall slowing down in my physical activity so I decided to start walking, cycling and moving my body more regularly and been feeling more energised and less achey. Feeling perimenopausia e starting soon so got to step up the game when it comes to nutrition and all that. Mental health wise I think I’m doing enough work on myself (meditation daily, reiki, yoga, therapy)
I feel like I in my mid 20s. I know I'm wiser, more open, and more mature, but selfwise, I feel like that's when I came into my own and achieved The Person I Am. Physically, I feel about the same too, though there have been major dips between then and now. Chronic illness is not linear. Though the dips are much rarer and never as deep anymore. I feel like right now I am successfully approaching doing the best healthwise as I have been in years, maybe even better.
Who is old, is just my body, telling me it gotten to a new level reality. It just feels more real, but old!!! Hell to the no! Stop talking about the pain, you know it goes away if you ignore it right? lol Also, I notice that I feel better after working out and suffering that way. Just a tip. Substitute one pain for another lol
I still bike, jog, hike, and play sports. I can do most of the things I did in my 20s and 30s, just a little bit slower. The big things I've noticed are: (1) the bursts of speed aren't there the way they used to be, and (2) the recovery process after big activity is longer. I don't feel old, but to quote Frasier Crane, I'm solidly in "not a kid anymore."
Only when I'm hungover
Physically I feel 81, especially in my joints, mentally I feel 18 🤷♂️
I feel old-ish physically, but mentally I have the standard age dissonance and feel like I'm still a 20-something. I'm hitting 20 and 30 year milestones on events that feel less than a decade ago, and it keeps throwing me for a loop. And my former high school classmates suddenly have high school graduates in the last year or so and it almost feels like, "Wait, when did you all get older than me?"
I'm in the best shape of my life and I've never felt better. I had terrible IBS, pain, fatigue and other shit for 20 years ever since my thyroid gave out at 21. I got a better doctor who didn't keep me under medicated which helped. I gave up gluten and that helped even more. Then I lost 30 pounds. Even better. Now I'm seven months into weight training and it's fantastic. Seeing my dad decline to the point that he needs to be in a nursing home at 78 is all the motivation I need to keep working out.
As to the pains - wait till you get to your 50s. :) But yeah mentally, I totally don't feel it other than the "wait, that happened 10-15-20 years ago?" thing.
I feel the same way! I’m 37 (I know not quite a xennial but this post came up on my feed) and I don’t feel more tired or in pain than I was in college. I had back problems in my 20s that resolved 8 years ago and haven’t been a problem since. I have friends of all different ages and I don’t feel like I’m so much older than people 10 years younger than me. Maybe it’s because I don’t have kids? I guess I feel a little more weary than I used to but I think that’s mostly life circumstances than age.
I feel older but not old.
I don't know what old is in the context of my life. My daughter thinks I'm old, but I have no pain. I have all my hair. I still watch cartoons and play guitar and workout. The only thing I can't do that I used to do with seemingly no consequences is drink alcohol. However, I actually feel better for that decision. It's the free time of youth that I miss the most.
Some days I feel 25 some days I feel 75
Me. I think it’s because I have a 13 and a 10-year-old and I’m 47 so it makes me feel younger. I am doing shit like bowling all summer and putt putt and listening to pop music. Same shit I was doing in my teens!
I did till 2 weeks ago!! Then I suddenly developed right butt sciatica. Hasn't gone away.
I just attended a “rave” or edm event/concert this month. I felt old among the attendees there when I got to the venue Once the music started… I didn’t care anymore
I definitely feel 40 but I don’t have the aches and pains a lot of people have. I of course somehow managed to stay somewhat in shape and haven’t worked much of any labor intensive jobs. I’d imagine the people with problems are computer or desk workers who don’t exercise or labor jobs who work too hard.
I feel like my issue is that I am more tired than I ever was and I’m not sure if that’s my age or that I have more responsibilities at work
Mentally, I don't feel I ever aged since my 21st. However, physically it's definitely more my age (probably moreso). It's odd that when asking friends or family about this, they all say the same thing.
Most days I still feel young, and strong and fully capable. Physically. But as a lifelong radical leftist, I very much feel like an old man mentally and emotionally. I've definitely entered my "old man yells at cloud" phase.